spectres-fulcrum

[spectres-fulcrum]

I don't want to say bye to Nascar on Prime :< Best Nascar coverage ever. It's great to see the coverage we get when it's based on love, not greed, not ratings, not top sports casters just getting another paycheck.

They'll be back next year but the entire production is SO good and I just want to stay here.

At least most of the booth/reporters/etc will stay on for five more races on TNT and then *sigh* NBC. But no Carl Edwards on TNT.

I know none of ya'll have any idea what I'm rambling about. Just my favorite sport finally has good coverage.

[spectres-fulcrum]

It is 93 feels like 105, we are like one notch away from extreme humidity, and winds are 25 MPH. It SUCKS. Even stepping into the back hall to toss away recyclables is like stepping into a wall of wet heat.

Thankfully we did chasing last night.

[spectres-fulcrum]

So idk if I told ya'll our landlord is selling the house. We(my parents, my sister, and I) live in a duplex that my parents have been in for almost 40 years. My entire life is here.

Obviously you know the risk with renting.

He accepted today. After the first open house. We have about two months to move. (And our landlord was one of the best on the planet, albeit a bit cheap when it came to maintenance but we never suffered he just used my dad or the neighbor vs hiring actual people)

I knew it was likely coming and it could be for the best(An extra bedroom, less stairs for my mom with bad knees and sister with MS) I just. Am very disassociated.

But also do I have any right to be sad? Like we're renters. Every fucking day in this house was temporary.

But this is where I was taken after I got home after the Nicu. This is where I learned all my baby and early childhood stuff. This is where I played with friends and sleepovers. Where I played. Where I applied for colleges and jobs. Got my acceptance letter. Where I cried and dreamed. My safe haven during covid.

Like my entire life was this house. I'm so sad. But that's the risk of renting. So like. Do I have any right to be sad?

Of course I do but like idk

[spectres-fulcrum]

The accent on Laurent's name in the audiobook is no surprise but I never said it this way and I need to get to used to it.

But my god the first meeting. Laurent knowing this "slave" is his brother's murderer and neither of them saying anything.

I love it so much

[spectres-fulcrum]

That's how Akielos is pronounced????? Audiobooks can make you question your entire fandom life

[spectres-fulcrum]

I took my first hour of pto and left an hour early because we're headed up to my cousin's place. Atm it's an almost five hour drive but then add a couple stops for bathroom, dinner, and I want to change into shorts vs blue jeans and a looser shirt at a kwik trip, plus get some snacks.

My plan for the trip is I fooled my brain out of wanting a Switch 2/Mario Kart World by finally buying a new Switch game and the MK8 DLC with birthday money. Also I have Captive Prince on audiobook to listen to. (I loved CaPri long before it got big)

I also have fanfic to read and all my regular Switch games/books.

So excited to get to my cousin's tho

[spectres-fulcrum]

So I made that post about Camper Van: Make It Home on Friday night and then the game dropped Saturday morning no warning! I was so excited! Unfornutely we had someone coming to take pictures of the house so I I played the entire game yesterday.

It is so good and cozy and there are so many items and I can't wait to devote more time to each level vs wanting to see the entire game and it is exactly what I hoped. If you liked Unpacking 10/10 recommend.

So happy. Also I was listening to the Underland Chronicles as I played it and I'm so glad that series stood the test of time/aging. Started book 3 and I truly read books 3-5 over and over.

[spectres-fulcrum]

Now that it's June I'm physically checking the Camper Van: Make It Home Steam page every evening to see if they've announced the release date(We know it's releasing sometime in June). I played the demo for the first time about a year ago and it's been the #1 game on by wishlist every since. I've played the demo level ~6 times.

It's very Unpacking esque but it's RV vs houses.

I have SO many hours in Unpacking it's kinda embarrassing for the game only having 10 levels but it's also a stress/anxiety relieving game so I am beyond excited to have an alternative game

[spectres-fulcrum]

I want Mario Kart World but it's Nintendo Switch 2 exclusive and idk if I really NEED the NSw2 now or anytime soon really.

It looks really good and would be so much fun to have for my trip father's day weekend but like I would be able to find a Switch in the next week lmao

[spectres-fulcrum]

And I love seeing my gyn she is so nice and supportive so I'm like genuinely disappointed I don't get to see her today because of this stupid billing lie

[spectres-fulcrum]

So I called my doctor's insurance department and was like I don't have my insurance info but I do have insurance and she took down what info I had and said I'd be good to go.

I turn up at my gyn's office and they need a $225 non refundable deposit because of not having my insurance numbers.

I walked out because I was NOT warned and was not going to pay for a simple med check. I'm pissed.

[spectres-fulcrum]

Last week I started an idea that was meant to be an isolated scene I had in my mind-Sal telling Tommy he had seen Buck's transfer request on the LAFD transfer site and Tommy being shocked but knowing things are BAD and Sal wants to recruit Buck but he doesn't want to ruin things and it was meant to be extremely isolated. Like a Sal and Tommy scene.

It turned into a whole thing. 4000+ words and it might be winding down if I end things the same day.

And it is SO fun. Because it is entirely character led. No expectations, no plans. I have no idea where the story is going to go until it's on paper, until Buck decides what he wants to say. Maybe I know I want Tommy to cry because Buck is sobbing and it's torture to not be able to do anything to ease his pain, but it takes a rewrite to get it properly but it's genuinely all written as I go.

Tbh this is the first post-Bobby's death thing I've written where they got back together without waiting for the proper time.

I haven't written someone so on the fly in so long and I adore it. Idk if it's good or if I'll share it but it's been a joy in an otherwise overwhelming weekend.

[spectres-fulcrum]

So I finally got on my laptop and was able to look at Taylor's letter in full(I read bits and pieces on my phone but it was not the best, or typed up, but I think I wanted to read it fully as she intended it and I'm just so. Happy.

As soon as I got on my work laptop I turned on 1989 OG and it sounded so good. I thought I grew out of 1989 and the TV did nothing for me but god I went straight to the OG and it felt so good listening guilt free so it might be rediscovering 1989 summer??? There are some 1989 TV songs I prefer but we'll see maybe I'll do some mish mash playlists.

I'm for sure sticking with Fearless TV and Red TV. Those two made me fall back in love with those albums.

Just like. Eleven hearts all together for the first time ever. This horrible chapter that we made good by rediscovering her music is over.

If you weren't there at the start... For that first awards show... idk...

[spectres-fulcrum]

To say I'm overjoyed for Taylor is the understatement of a lifetime. I'm tearing up next to my dad in the car and I feel like if I was alone I'd be sobbing. Seeing that photo of her with the OG albums... those are my childhood.

I'm so so so so happy she gets to own her original albums.

I love her so much.

[spectres-fulcrum]

Indy is a mess. Especially as a Nascar fan with Larson having a hard out to make Charlotte.

[spectres-fulcrum]

I just think. In wake of finding out that Ryan and the director decided to make the 8x17 argument scene physical without telling Oliver. And knowing that Lou talked the first kiss down from a makeout to the gentle kiss because he didn't want it to be agressive and made sure he and Oliver talked boundaries the night before. Knowing that when you slow down Buck and Tommy's make out you see Oliver and Lou exchanging nods before a particularly hard and messy kiss-a silent check in. You see Oliver's hand hovering, perhaps because he wants to tangle it in Lou's hair but knows he injured his skull a few months ago and there could be lingering tenderness.

And now we're hearing the warmth Oliver speaks about Lou with after a solid year of everyone speaking for him.

I just think. Maybe Lou is Oliver's own little piece of Tommy. Maybe in a world-a set- where we know working conditions are shitty, Lou prioritizes care and communication for Oliver, and does it just as easily as Tommy does it for Buck.

(And maybe Oliver doesn't know what to do with it other than keep it quiet because he knows if he shares photos, talks about it, the fandom will think it's theirs to comment on, and it's not)