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Impressions 2024 - Wishes

The highlight of my year was DJ's military retirement in October. It felt a bit like planning a wedding and I remain pleasantly surprised that every little detail came together without a hitch - including things beyond our control like the weather! Much like people can clean their home in record time the day before hosting a visitor, The Little Hangar project was completed just minutes before the event. The prior week, DJ and Rob (our handy & generous friend) worked from sunrise to sunset finishing critical items in our metal building such as the stubborn stair railing and so much more. As usual, our community of friends chipped in to create and capture memories that will last a lifetime. We are truly grateful for all gestures both grand (unexpected fireworks) and small (potpourri spray for the shared bathroom) plus everything in between. DJ went out of his way to avoid speeches and tears, but the love was palpable throughout the weekend with unlimited hands of support, laughter, and stories.

The Little Hangar project was our primary focus for the year and while our contractor Brice and his crew completed most of the work, DJ saved us over 25k by tackling the plumbing, staining, painting, and helping as much as he could. This includes repainting the upstairs bathroom three times before settling on the right shade of blue. I have no idea how DJ managed to work on projects after his daily 5k run, a full day at work, and 3 hours maneuvering through Atlanta road-rage. I feel lazy in comparison. I did manage to refinish the sauna with liquid wood (people are so darn clever) and ruined a pair of perfectly good gloves while staining tongue and groove planks in the cold. I also spent hours on my iPhone researching tile, vanities, and soft close hinges until it dropped out of my hand as I dozed. DJ maintains I designed the entire project, but his flair made it into the final product minus the iconic Kramer painting and a few other items I may have vetoed. One of my favorite contributions from DJ is the "Wash your hands you filthy animal" sign from Hobby Lobby. DJ and I beat ourselves up about all of the things we could have done differently but every time I sit down to relax in the loft, I think about how nice it is to be able to enjoy something we created together.

The cherry on top is that despite inflation we were able to pull off the build while remaining debt free. Of course, that wasn't without great sacrifice. DJ sold a few hoopties including the Duster he fixed up for his dad and kept tinkering with after Donnie passed. And yes - we still live in a camper. The Little Hangar is part shop, part entertainment venue, and part guest room. It was never intended to replace our home. Our original idea was to build a separate tiny home on the property but that doesn't seem very practical when we already have everything we need. The human in me envies the beautiful homes inundating our social media feeds and the new homes popping up around every corner. BTW, that's equivalent to every 5-mile marker in our small hometown, affectionately named the "Poos". This desire for more is an ongoing struggle for me and I must constantly remind myself not to give into what I want right now in favor of an earlier retirement.

Another memorable event was going to see Lake Street Dive at The Eastern near downtown Atlanta. The venue was intimate, the crowd mature, and the company priceless. Laura & Fred introduced us to the band years ago and we were finally able to enjoy them live together. Well, minus DJ. That is, until next time. A bonus was getting to hear music from a new favorite trio named Tiny Habits whose song Wishes I have listened to on repeat more times than iTunes can count. The American folk-pop group was formed by three music students from Boston and well, I am a sucker for harmonizing.

And I wish that I was smaller, or I wish I was Better at being kind to the one body that I've got After all, it keeps me breathin' til the day it just cannot

All three singers take turns vocalizing their wishes and come together for the chorus. The song ends with "I wish these wishes weren't all for nothing".

Except for our labor of love, The Little Hangar, I feel as though I spent the year wandering aimlessly. At the end of my prior impression, I committed to a 50 before 50 list which I never wrote… until now. I spent a lot of time feeling my age - less youthful and lethargic. At work, I spent a dreadful amount of time in the weeds of project planning and preparing status reports. Neither of which I find fulfilling. Not sure if this is true for everyone but the older I get the harder it seems to imagine wishes. I am fortunate to have travelled and experienced a wide variety of activities over the years. While I do still have a few bucket list items like watching The Kentucky Derby in person, my enthusiasm for checking things off a list has waned. Unfortunately, that shift comes with a hefty price - because living without intention leads to regret.

With a little bit of luck, irony and gumption - I finally got down to the business of writing my list. As luck would have it, DJ opted to work overtime this weekend giving me sufficient time to focus. The irony, or perhaps coincidence, is that there are exactly 50 days between the first of the year and my 50th birthday. Weird, right? So, instead of coming up with lofty wishes I decided to select specific tasks covering various aspects of my life. It wasn't easy coming up with 50 realistic items for the given timeframe, but I surprised myself with at least one unforeseen gem. Can you guess which?

Self-improvement gurus often talk about the importance of having a purpose. I always thought that the elusive purpose had to be a single thing or at least ONE big thing. But maybe it's about many little things… like recognizing a co-worker or going roller skating with friends. Although the thought of a list felt daunting and limiting, the exercise of coming up with categories, researching ideas, and authoring these tasks made me feel a little bit spicier. Antoine de Saint-Exupery, the author of The Little Prince wrote: "A goal without a plan is just a wish." But maybe plans can lead to wishes too… and not for nothing.

Read prior impressions…

Impressions 2023 - Sleepover

Impressions 2022 - Unfinished

Impressions 2021 - Domino

Impressions 2020 - Masked

Impressions 2019 - Grace

Impressions 2018 - Surrender

Impressions 2017 - Ordinary

Impressions 2016 - Kindness

Impressions 2015 - Blossom

Impressions 2014 - Independence

Impressions 2013 - Vow

Impressions 2012 - Faith

Impressions 2011 - Dream

Impressions 2010 - Penguin

Impressions 2009 - Smile

Impressions 2008 - Fun

Impressions 2007 - Inspiration

Impressions 2006 - Magic

Impressions 2005 - Love

Impressions 2004 - Influence

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50 Before 50

Start the year with a cold plunge

Get back to reality, full day at home after holidays

Write annual impression by end of weekend

Complete 10 squats per hour 10x daily

Donate to kitty charity in honor of Jax

Start a weekly gratitude jar with DJ

Write Instagram post 3+ times per week

Learn jump rope trick #1

Spend 30 minutes organizing

Plan a fun activity with a friend

Book an evening at McLemore Resort

Donate clothes

Listen to a TED talk

Design Hangar Time sign

Learn jump rope trick #2

Gather materials for taxes

Thank & recognize co-worker via Bravo

Book Kentucky Derby

Book 10k charity race during warmer months

Listen to a YouTube skill based video

Work on DIY string art

Learn jump rope trick #3

Review recurring expenses

Thank & recognize friend via card

Book timeshare

Donate food

Take call with mentor

Work on lettering craft

Learn jump rope trick #4

Finish taxes

Check in with friend/family member

Book trip to Providence Canyon

Adopt a penguin

Prepare quick top 5 list for week

Work on valentine craft

Learn jump rope trick #5

Spend 30 minutes organizing #2

Send friend/family a thoughtful/practical gift

Enjoy roller skating with friends

Volunteer at local senior center

Listen to Stuff You Should Know Podcast

Draw card for service member (for care pkg)

Learn jump rope trick #6

Complete will

Facetime friend/family member

Visit with friends in Rome, GA

Send care package to a service member

Finish listening to You Only Die Once

Write special edition turning 50 impression

Go 50 days without consuming alcohol

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Impressions 2023 - Sleepover

"I didn't even hear you leave." she texted. We had just pulled a late-night reminiscent of our more youthful years. After waking up in a hurry due to a glitch with my iPhone's smarter-than-thou alarm, I failed to keep quiet while scrambling to get dressed in the dark. The obnoxious grinding from the Nespresso machine had jolted me awake more effectively than the caffeine it served into my to-go cup. But not Jacque. If such a thing existed, she could have won a gold medal in sleeping.

I met Jacque during my formative years and enjoyed many sleepovers at her house. During a particular visit we decided to whip up some omelets. When I asked for the mayonnaise, she gave me a sideways glance. This incident is the first moment I remember being aware of differences. In hindsight, I'm not sure why this particular disparity stood out among others, and yet Jacque always comes to mind whenever omelets are on the menu.

Throughout our school days, I admired, possibly envied, Jacque. For one, school always seemed to come easier for her. I remember sweating over a geography assignment the night before which she effortlessly knocked out during our morning bus ride. Despite my best efforts, I scored a mediocre C in comparison to her stellar A. She could also carry a tune. We'd spend hours sitting on the floor in my bedroom singing along to the 80s. Of course, the daughter of a talented concert pianist had a beautiful voice too.

We both looked up to Jacque's older brother Rob. In addition to introducing us to alternative bands like Icehouse, he was impressive on the guitar. Unlike us, he was one of the cool kids. The evening before Jacque’s trip to Michigan for a year, we ended up hanging out with Rob on the trampoline in their backyard. It didn’t take long before Jacque and I were slurring our words. Jacque had a rough flight the next morning and I felt guilty enough to confess my first alcohol indulgence to my mom. While not a shining moment for either of us, it was memorable no less.

Jacque had a knack for making people laugh after calling them out or pointing out their quirks. She used to say that my voice went up 10 decibels when I spoke Spanish. In a prior impression, I mentioned her sarcasm in response to my general dislike for certain comedies. "What?" she said, "you don't like to laugh?" She helped me take life less seriously.

Though I often wonder what our lives would have been like had we attended the same college, I am glad we ended up sharing a connection in Atlanta. Over the years, I enjoyed getting to spend time with Jacque and her parents during frequent visits to their condo. Jacque and I spent countless hours admiring the Atlanta skyline from their balcony. We unloaded our concerns, expressed our dreams, and discussed everything in between. Though I rarely feel comfortable in my own skin, Jacque always made me feel understood.

While these experiences may seem trivial to others, they are a part of my story. A story that was only made possible with Jacque in my life. It feels fitting that our last moment together would be a sleepover. After agreeing to meet up on a work night I asked to crash for the night. We had joked about ending up with her feet in my face like the good old days. A few months later I travelled to Mexico City for Jacque's services. Although a part of me feels lost without her, feet-in-my-face or not, I will always cherish our time together.

In less than a month I will commence the final year in my forties. A milestone Jacque should have shared with me a month later. Borrowing from Gretchen Rubin's 24 for 2024 List, I am creating a 50 before 50 list instead. I am doing this in honor of Jacque whose friendship truly was one of a kind.

Oh, I had a dream For a moment I believed it was true Oh, I'd have given anything Just to be there with you Electric Blue, Icehouse

Read prior impressions…

Impressions 2022 - Unfinished

Impressions 2021 - Domino

Impressions 2020 - Masked

Impressions 2019 - Grace

Impressions 2018 - Surrender

Impressions 2017 - Ordinary

Impressions 2016 - Kindness

Impressions 2015 - Blossom

Impressions 2014 - Independence

Impressions 2013 - Vow

Impressions 2012 - Faith

Impressions 2011 - Dream

Impressions 2010 - Penguin

Impressions 2009 - Smile

Impressions 2008 - Fun

Impressions 2007 - Inspiration

Impressions 2006 - Magic

Impressions 2005 - Love

Impressions 2004 - Influence

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Impressions 2022 - Unfinished

Recently I played Wii for the first time in thousands of days. Despite failing the judgement test, I managed to gain back an entire year of my life! I wonder how much younger I could have claimed as my fitness age had I only listened more closely to the instructions. I would easily blame it on having an audience, but the squirrel syndrome struggle is real.

I used to hold the romantic notion that aging would never get to me. Perhaps I underestimated waking up to the reflection of the number eleven between my eyebrows - every morning - for an entire year. The Sharks may have rejected the Skinny Mirror but why can't Instagram offer filters for bathroom mirrors too?

Fortunately, there are a few perks to getting older. Hot flashes were particularly helpful during the recent arctic spell including the coldest Christmas Georgia had seen in 33 years. For several years I have joked about looking forward to this time in my life while people assured me otherwise. Today I can finally say that I do prefer hot flashes to the alternative. 36 years after being proclaimed a woman at an age when I had no idea what that meant, I can at least celebrate the end of a major inconvenience bestowed upon those wearing that title. Now I just need to find creative uses for unused supplies!

Sorry. I should have warned you that I think I'm going through a mid-life crisis and have lost a few of my filters. In my mid-twenties I naively thought I was going through that phase early. Instead, my is-this-all-there-is realization has morphed into time-is-running-out.

I have always been a worrier but it seems to worsen with each passing day. I expected that my anxiety would fade after selling the business and downsizing but it's been almost two years and my thoughts still keep me up at night. Minimalists claim a lightness of spirit but what I have found to be true for me is that restlessness has nothing to do with what you do-or-don't-do, have-or-don't-have and everything to do with how you feel about what you think. While meditation and prayer seem to resolve that for many, I just haven't been able to figure it out for myself.

In The Courage to be Disliked Kishimi and Koga corroborate the theories behind Adlerian psychology including the idea that all problems are interpersonal. Or, in bumper sticker fashion... People. You can't live with them. You can't live without them. Not long ago I came across a funny meme with an aerial view of a house surrounded by tall bushy trees with the tagline "When you're completely done with everybody's shit." While avoidance is a favorite go-to of mine, the reality is that I'm not a survivalist who can afford to swear people off for good. In hindsight, I should have paid attention to DJ's numerous plumbing & electrical projects. Does picking out fixtures count?

My least favorite question of the year was: How's the build coming? Though we never imposed a timeline on The Little Hangar, we did imagine finishing the year with an enclosed building instead of a wall. Between the Hangar and other work projects that remain incomplete, I have been feeling rather unaccomplished. That heaviness is balanced against thoughts around whether busyness ever really served me. I think the slow pace has helped us think about what we really want and rewarded us with time to enjoy things as they are. We overcame the when/then dilemma by treating ourselves to a dry sauna which we temporarily (or not) placed inside of a shed. The Hangar Spa has become our perfect little getaway from the grind. We've also enjoyed watching several movies under the stars Hank Hill style... with propane heaters to keep us cozy during the winter.

When we embarked on our debt free journey, I thought financial freedom would lessen my concerns. Our new lifestyle has solved some challenges but also introduced others. Despite significant changes in our daily lives, I still lie awake at night. Adler suggests that true freedom comes from letting go of our need to be recognized, and yet every year I put pressure on myself to write this message to do just that. I'm hoping that next year the Hangar and I show up a little less unfinished.

 Read prior impressions…

Impressions 2021 - Domino

Impressions 2020 - Masked

Impressions 2019 - Grace

Impressions 2018 - Surrender

Impressions 2017 - Ordinary

Impressions 2016 - Kindness

Impressions 2015 - Blossom

Impressions 2014 - Independence

Impressions 2013 - Vow

Impressions 2012 - Faith

Impressions 2011 - Dream

Impressions 2010 - Penguin

Impressions 2009 - Smile

Impressions 2008 - Fun

Impressions 2007 - Inspiration

Impressions 2006 - Magic

Impressions 2005 - Love

Impressions 2004 - Influence

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Impressions 2021 - Domino

I have been sitting on my end of year message because my first attempt sucked. I don't know how some people are able to write every day. My mind and heart only overlap on occasion, and I think writing takes both.

I read something earlier which doesn't particularly resonate with me. The idea that it's empowering to know that no one cares... That others are too consumed with their own lives to notice anyway.

To begin with, we all know people care. Otherwise, social media would not be saturated with trolls. If you still don't believe me… One of my favorite movies of the year was I Care a Lot. Okay, maybe that's a bad example too. What's more compelling is that 2021 repeatedly showed me how much I really do matter to others.

Thanks to the who's-viewed-your-profile option on LinkedIn, I know people were checking in on my job search even if they didn't reach out to me otherwise. And no, I'm not referring to recruiters. However, these aren't the people who taught me how to help others. Nor are the countless individuals who wanted to school me on resume writing. Oh, the opinions!

The kind of people I'm talking about genuinely wanted to & were able to help. Not because I offered something of value in return and not because I made it easy for them. Some of these people had been in my shoes and could relate to my journey. They were my champions and my tribe.

I never bought into the notion that you learn who your true friends are in times of crisis. After all, unicorns do not exist. Surely, my fellow job seekers can relate. Instead, I am grateful for those whose generosity warmed my heart including the numerous new connections I made and others who resurfaced. What's more, I feel inspired by them.

In contrast, I recently broke down in tears over what felt like someone's lack of concern. I reckon all of us have been on both sides of that type of experience. Regretfully, I too have been that person who lacked compassion. I can and must do better.

2021 was a very humbling year that did NOT play out quite like I had imagined. After sharing the news about selling my business, many expressed condolences assuming it hadn't been by choice. It was, albeit a difficult one. Arrogantly, I thought I would slide into my next work adventure more seamlessly. Boy was I wrong.

Eventually, I found my way with the help of not-just-one, but many individuals, through a domino effect of kindness. Prior to last year, I assumed valuable help came in the way of grander gestures such as securing an interview for someone. While we cannot predict what will or won't be useful to others, I discovered three things that are always worth a try: to engage, encourage, and/or empathize. By engage I mean truly getting to know and-not-just-grow your network as many still do.

I have loads of people to thank that I don't know where to begin. In the meantime, I want everyone to know that while having landed a job is significant, the more meaningful gift was the domino. That is, the accumulation of your individual acts of grace and how that made me want to be a better person. I can only hope to have the same kind of impact on others through my own actions. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Read prior impressions…

Impressions 2020 - Masked

Impressions 2019 - Grace

Impressions 2018 - Surrender

Impressions 2017 - Ordinary

Impressions 2016 - Kindness

Impressions 2015 - Blossom

Impressions 2014 - Independence

Impressions 2013 - Vow

Impressions 2012 - Faith

Impressions 2011 - Dream

Impressions 2010 - Penguin

Impressions 2009 - Smile

Impressions 2008 - Fun

Impressions 2007 - Inspiration

Impressions 2006 - Magic

Impressions 2005 - Love

Impressions 2004 - Influence

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Impressions 2020 - Masked

Like it or not, 2020 was the year of the mask. While the cons and complaints are plentiful, masks remain quite convenient for hiding pimples. I even learned to appreciate my stately nose, if only, to help keep those darn things from sliding! For me, the mask also became a symbol for how I felt... masked. It wasn't due to sheltering in place or social distancing. It wasn't the riots or even the election. It was the awful feeling I discovered in the pit of my stomach after realizing that no matter what I said or did, I just couldn't change what was happening around me. I felt like I was treading water.

What really needed to change was... well, me. Sure, I strived to remain positive and do the right thing but maybe that was all smoke and mirrors. A friend recently encouraged others to brag about themselves for something they accomplished in 2020. After much consideration, nothing really stood out. Significant events included staying on the wagon throughout DJ's deployment, taking Pilates virtual, and keeping the studio afloat. DJ and I also sold our first home together (technically we closed on 1/6). None of those things filled me with pride. That's the problem with associating how we feel with our accomplishments... When things don't improve, despite our best efforts, we feel deflated. I know this. So why then do I keep chasing achievement?

A few days ago, while searching for quotes about relating to others I came across Project Implicit which is "a non-profit organization... interested in implicit social cognition - thoughts and feelings outside of conscious awareness and control." They have created several online tests to measure bias. The first test I took revealed that I was considerably more biased than I expected - and that was for a single category! Although this concept is not new to me, revisiting it now makes me wonder what I could do to re-learn limiting behaviors. For example, how can I separate how I feel from what I do? I don't know how but I remain hopeful. After all, our thoughts and feelings are learned, albeit at an early age.

After subbing a recent Pilates class, I asked one of our members what they do for a living. I was genuinely interested but immediately felt bad for asking. The voice in my head echoed: "We are more than what we do". Fortunately, the conversation was positive, but I wish I had asked something more meaningful. It's just one of the things we say when we're in auto-pilot mode. Ironically, when done properly, Pilates requires intention... the very thing I was missing. In hindsight, I let the year do that to me. Don't get me wrong, I didn't just throw in the towel, but I certainly wasn't my best self and I'm definitely not proud of the outcome. I simply did what I had to do. I also watched a lot of bad movies with a few good surprises sprinkled in between (The Peanut Butter Falcon and Focus).

The Chinese Farmer would conclude that the past year was neither bad nor good. Undoubtedly, it was inconvenient, and for some, much worse. For me personally, it revealed that I am quite human. At times fragile, at times strong. At times judgmental, at times understanding. At times selfish, at times even generous. I wish I could share that the events of the year transformed me. Sadly, no. But my sister surprisingly adopted a dog (something I never thought I would write). Doesn't that somehow make things right?

In a way, this was the year I received more than I gave. One memory particularly stands out from the rest. Our benevolent East Spring Lake neighbors surprised us with an amazing landscape makeover Yard Crashers style just in time for DJ's deployment homecoming. Despite the pandemic, it was an all hands-on-deck affair. They even re-painted the mailbox! Our future yards will never compare. I was overwhelmed by their altruism. Observing community in that capacity is truly heartwarming. Our neighbors will be deeply missed.

This impression has been the most difficult to write, thus the delay. My intention with these annual messages has always been to provoke thought and uplift others but that's really hard to do when your heart isn't in the right place. I was having trouble feeling authentically hopeful which just can't be forced. But then, after watching a cute movie entitled The Grand Seduction, it hit me. I rarely pay attention to the movie credits, but the Irish jig pulled me in. They listed everything from Cat Wrangler to Caterer. As I continued to watch the hundreds of names and roles scroll by, it occurred to me how much we need others. 

Once again, I was saddened thinking about all the energy the world puts into being right rather than showing kindness. And while I know equality doesn't negate uniqueness, I think we are often confused and misled into thinking there is only one way and that everyone should be able to do anything. That everyone should have the freedom of choice doesn't mean we are suited for everything we think we want. Nor does it mean that the effort to execute our choices is the same. That is impossible by virtue of being different. So, if you got kicked down this year while watching others pivot (ugh that word), just keep putting in the hard work. I know it takes great Patience... thus my anthem for the last year. There is a place in this world just for you. Lean into being you. The little things you do matter. You matter. Reveal the good stuff under that mask.

Read prior impressions…

Impressions 2019 - Grace

Impressions 2018 - Surrender

Impressions 2017 - Ordinary

Impressions 2016 - Kindness

Impressions 2015 - Blossom

Impressions 2014 - Independence

Impressions 2013 - Vow

Impressions 2012 - Faith

Impressions 2011 - Dream

Impressions 2010 - Penguin

Impressions 2009 - Smile

Impressions 2008 - Fun

Impressions 2007 - Inspiration

Impressions 2006 - Magic

Impressions 2005 - Love

Impressions 2004 - Influence

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Project Danger Zone

Deployments are definitely tough. But as with any challenge in life, we have the choice to make the most out of demanding situations. That’s why my legal boyfriend DJ and I decided to try something a little different this time around.

Instead of simply counting down the days until his homecoming sometime in May, we wanted to build a supportive community to help each other accomplish something significant over the next 120-ish days.

I am personally committed to the following: a) abstaining from drinking alcohol, b) de-cluttering the entire house c) writing at least monthly and d) doing something nice for someone else - daily.

DJ is committed to a) being a good wing-man and b) improving his skills in online trading, TRX, anatomy, and Pilates.

We’ll post updates and inspiration regularly. You can join us on this journey by: a) following us on Instragram, b) sharing your own commitments and victories in the comments of our posts, c) tagging us in your own posts using @projectdangerzone as well as d) hashtagging #projectdangerzone along with other popular hashtags like #photooftheday #happy #friends #nature #smile #food #family #fitness #life #music #motivation #lol #healthy #inspiration #goodmorning etc.

All are welcome here. There are no hard rules other than being supportive and kind. It’s that simple. We hope you’ll join us on this journey & we look forward to hearing from you!

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Impressions 2019 - Grace

Although I'm behind on my annual impression -- sorry about that -- it's been a year in the making. Originally I got on board with the idea of wonder. With my tendency to focus on problems, I thought it would be helpful to imagine viewing the world through a lens of solutions, beauty, and awe. Re-framing challenges can be useful but it's not a new concept for me and somehow it fell short.

Perhaps part of this year's delay was due to my fear of sharing something that makes people feel uncomfortable. But it's impossible to paint an accurate picture of the past year without opening up a bit. And while I might not want to admit it, my dad made a good point when he mentioned that my impressions could be more revealing. After all, vulnerability is what I love most about my favorite social media mavens. And -- if there is anything true about me -- it's that I'm always striving for more. (Emphasis on strive.)

So, as I was honing in on the previous year's impression, I "surrendered" to the idea of exploring God. I know. Bear with me. While I was a strong believer as a child, tremendous doubts have ensued ever since my boarding school roommate cried for a girl with parents from different faiths (one Christian, one Jewish) because my roomie believed the girl was going to hell. But here I am, 25+ years later of mostly avoiding God, and no matter what I do it's never enough.

The first thing I learned is that while Genesis is the first Chapter in the Bible, it's not the best place to start. Something about husbands ruling over their wives. Please don't tell DJ. ;p I did find value in regularly reading the Bible and attending Church, further re-enforcing my belief that we tend to grow in areas where we spend time. And because various religions present God differently I didn't stop there. I watched The Story of God with Morgan Freeman which explored God across various religions and cultures around the globe. I also read books, watched movies, listened to videos, even attended a re-treat with a spiritual component. Some of these resources made me mad, a few of them made me cry, others opened my heart, but all of them made me think.

I continued to struggle with frustrating aspects of the business and failed to explain why taking a leap of faith had done very little to change how I felt. Regardless, I pressed forward, never one to give up easily. In an effort to feel more at peace, I even dabbled with hypnosis, an amazing experience in and of itself.

Perhaps the most difficult part of this process was the seemingly absent dialogue on how to grapple with such a mysterious topic and how something so important is generally approached with tension and strife... even among family and friends. I used to get annoyed by any mention of God but lately I've been surprised to learn that many of the people I admire have close relationships with God. And that even two of my favorite intellectuals recognize the value of religion. While Scott Adams does not practice religion, he does believe that it "probably makes the world a better place". Malcolm Gladwell was raised Presbyterian and believes that "when you remove faith from people's lives there is a void and they try desperately to fill it with something else." He mentions Yoga, not Pilates -- because everybody needs Pilates!

I've been told that my greatest challenges with the Bible are a matter of context but I'm not so sure. I don't believe that our faith matters more than our actions. I also struggle with the concept of God's will as it seems to contradict God's "gift" of free will. I even continued to doubt prayer. That said, one of the most fascinating things I learned from the Morgan Freeman documentary is that scientists were able to observe a noticeable change in brain activity between an individual praying and an atheist contemplating God. While that doesn't speak to the effectiveness of prayer on outcomes, it does show that prayer changes our experience.

One of my favorite quotes is from Wayne Dyer who proposed: "If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change." With our thoughts on God, DJ shared a link with 40 behind the scenes facts about one of our favorite movies, It's a Wonderful Life. The feature quotes actor James Stewart: "As I said (Dear Father in heaven.. show me the way), I felt the loneliness and hopelessness of people who had nowhere to turn, and my eyes filled with tears. I broke down sobbing. This was not planned at all, but the power of that prayer... reduced me to tears."

As "luck" would have it, DJ and I watched "A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood" on New Year's Day. In the movie, Mr. Rogers asks a dying man: "Will you pray for me?" Later, when asked why, Mr. Rogers explains: "anyone who has gone through challenges like that must be very close to God". When reading the Esquire article that inspired the movie, I learned a slightly different account but my reaction remained unchanged. Although Mr. Rogers confessed to a "selfish" explanation for his request, the truth of the matter is that the interaction served an even greater purpose of up-lifting the person asked. I still hesitate to pray and feel awkward doing so but it's hard to refute it's strength.

The same weekend that we celebrated DJ's well deserved promotion we also attended a farewell gathering for the Dobbins Air Reserve Base Commander, General Kemble. While others in his position may have understandably treated me like a dime a dozen, General Kemble always interacted with me as though I was the only one in the room. That is how he relates to people, with grace.

Mr. Rogers was also a man of grace. He was humble, compassionate, and forgiving. He listened intently, sought to understand, and treated others with respect. Everyone's neighborhood hero acted upon making the world a better place and always maintained a profound passion for serving others. In stark contrast, most days I can barely make it out of bed without thinking of myself.

In Tools of Titans, Tim Ferriss shares a useful exercise from Google Pioneer Chade Meng proven to elevate his happiness. To try it, simply think of any two or three people and then wish for them to be happy. Ferriss credits it's effectiveness on the fact that it shifts our focus from ourselves onto others. I think prayer works in much the same way but more intensely.

In the video segment I shared earlier with Malcolm Gladwell, Larry King says "Doesn't it all deal with death? No death. No Religion." I suppose that might be true for some but my exploration has had more to do with life. How can I feel more at peace especially during difficult times?

Fortunately for me, my legal boyfriend is always there to pick me up. He didn't always enjoy my evening Bible reading or listening to contemporary hymns at church, but he did willingly pray for me (his idea, not mine). He also joined the American Legion on Veterans Day and signed us up for their Thanksgiving Day potluck alongside Veterans. And although I am often inclined to chill out on our own, DJ rallied for us to host another memorable Halloween Party bringing together old and new friends including some of our favorite neighbors and studio members. My ego might expect otherwise but it's not all about me... community does matter.

Ultimately, death did play a part of my journey. The memories of those I lost are a regular reminder of how their grace made my own life better... then and still now. At Santa Lift, an inquisitive young girl surprised me by asking if I was a real elf. Despite my stature, hopefully all of you know I'm not. That made me think too. How can humans be so steadfast in their beliefs but still struggle to act graciously?

I wish I could say that I figured it all out. A part of me hoped for a "born-again" moment -- because that seems so much easier -- but even Mother Teresa wrestled with doubt for 50 years. I did discover that praying feels more natural and effective than meditating and that thinking about God regularly with the help of religion inspired more actions of grace.

This was by far my most challenging impression to write. And if it wasn't your cup of tea, stay tuned for something completely different next time. I promise. I do hope my words gave you something new to think about and if you are so inclined, feel free to share what you do to inspire more actions of grace. I'm listening. Either way, I am definitely committed to praying for your happiness. After all, it's a little like the lottery... you can't win if you don't play.

Read prior impressions…

Impressions 2018 - Surrender

Impressions 2017 - Ordinary

Impressions 2016 - Kindness

Impressions 2015 - Blossom

Impressions 2014 - Independence

Impressions 2013 - Vow

Impressions 2012 - Faith

Impressions 2011 - Dream

Impressions 2010 - Penguin

Impressions 2009 - Smile

Impressions 2008 - Fun

Impressions 2007 - Inspiration

Impressions 2006 - Magic

Impressions 2005 - Love

Impressions 2004 - Influence

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Fail No More! Change your Approach to Exercise

Most people exercise to lose weight and become frustrated when they fail. In contrast, most people brush their teeth regularly because their mothers scared them into thinking their teeth would fall out! Even if we are motivated to maintain a bright smile or prevent bad breath, most of us developed a daily brushing habit at a young age. Before you call your mother to blame her for your lack of motivation to workout, consider a slight change in how you think about exercise.

"Change happens through movement, and movement heals." ~ Joseph Pilates

Let go of any unrealistic expectations. Instead, make a commitment to move on a regular basis. This could be as basic as setting aside time to be active every day. Stretching and walking are great ways to get going.

Start small. Everyone can find 15 minutes in their otherwise busy schedules to move. So, the next time you get fired up about something on social media simply put down the phone and take a hike, literally. Or wake up 15 minutes earlier.

"If you win the morning, you win the day." Tim Ferriss

Overcome inertia. Select options that are convenient and unlikely to conflict with other priorities. For example, early morning routines are less likely to be affected by competing demands for your time as most people are still sleeping. If something does come up you still have a full day to re-schedule.

Build upon an existing habit. Walk around the block after dinner. Stretch before you go to bed. Who says you can't lunge while you brush your teeth?

“The only way to succeed in the long run is by using a system that bypasses your need for willpower.” Scott Adams

Hedge your bets. Make an appointment and add it to your calendar. Set an alarm or even a few. Tell your supportive friends so it's harder to back out. For the added incentive, book a class that charges you a fee for canceling.

Find something you enjoy. Believe it or not, exercise does not have to be grueling to be effective. The goal is actually to help you feel better. Immerse yourself in a supportive community to help you stay motivated, it's more fun that way!

"It's not what we do once in a while that shapes our lives. It's what we do consistently." Tony Robbins

Don't stop. Being consistent matters more than anything else. Once you stop it's harder to get going again. If your schedule does change and you can't reschedule, find another 15 minutes later in your day. Worst case, make up for it the next day.

Ride the wave. Once you establish a routine and you start to feel changes in your body, you tend to crave healthier choices. Listen to your body and select food that helps you feel vigorous so that you have more energy to do a little bit more.

"Take care of your body. It's the only place you have to live." ~ Jim Rohn

Let go of limiting beliefs and stop comparing yourself to others. Focus on taking care of your own body. Instead of chasing your weight-loss goals, which can be discouraging, stay committed to staying active and watch your life change.

*Originally published by Macaroni Kid - Smyrna Vinings Marietta on January 15, 2019.

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Impressions 2018 - Surrender

This year I had the privilege of learning from Marcus Lemonis, Host of CNBC's The Profit. I was relieved to learn that he hasn't found his passion either. Phew. He shared how his mother made him sell his fancy vehicle, not because there is anything wrong with owning extravagant items, but because he owned it for the wrong reason. Why really does matter! He dared to be vulnerable in front of thousands and re-impressed upon me the power of genuine connection. I'm glad I was spared from going on stage and yet I wonder... could I have been vulnerable too?

For all those social media naysayers out there, I actually made a personal connection online and feel that my life is better for it. Nikki Naab-Levy is the female version of DJ... funny, inappropriate, and even wears fishnet stockings! Who can forget DJ as Dr. Frank N. Furter from The Rocky Horror Picture Show? She's also a really talented Pilates Instructor and all around great person. I love, love, love how she writes. I did have the opportunity to chat with her over the phone and I truly look forward to meeting her in person this year.

I also found the perfect mentor. She's brilliant, courageous, funny, and kind. Allison Beardsley is the reason I believed in Club Pilates and I am tremendously grateful for her support and guidance. She has challenged me to think differently, laugh harder and... surrender.

Last year I felt constantly tortured by my mind which actually translated into pain in my body. I kept searching for answers and coming up empty. But after my last call with Allison the following thought came to mind... "Just maybe not having all of the answers is a gift." While being a business owner is rewarding, it's also a huge responsibility. I put a lot of pressure on myself to do better, and then better again. But that never brings peace. So this year I promise to open my heart to the possibility that letting go and having faith will bring more joy.

Surrender isn't about giving up, it's about letting go. ~ Unknown

The other day I read a moving Instagram post by Pilates Instructor Laura Browning Grant describing her own reflection on the last year as she helped her husband recover from a traumatic brain injury. She wrote: "It was in those times of despair that all I could do was... surrender. Surrender the uncertainties, surrender the struggles and surrender the pain of life at that moment. In those times of surrender, peace filled me."

I often wonder: "What the heck was I thinking?" Having a business can be heartbreaking. Like when you put everything you have into spreading joy and you get shut down by corporate. (Don't worry, the Cousin Eddie Tour will live on.) It can also be stressful. In fact, recently I joked: "I thought about giving up alcohol... until I started my own business." On the other hand, without Pilates, I wouldn't have had the opportunity to learn from Marcus, connect with Nikki, receive guidance from Allison, nor feel moved by Laura. And though I might not have found my true passion in Pilates, it is an incredible part of my journey which continues to bear fruit. So, like Laura, I choose to surrender to the uncertainty and struggle and have faith that I'm on the right path.

Read prior impressions…

Impressions 2017 - Ordinary

Impressions 2016 - Kindness

Impressions 2015 - Blossom

Impressions 2014 - Independence

Impressions 2013 - Vow

Impressions 2012 - Faith

Impressions 2011 - Dream

Impressions 2010 - Penguin

Impressions 2009 - Smile

Impressions 2008 - Fun

Impressions 2007 - Inspiration

Impressions 2006 - Magic

Impressions 2005 - Love

Impressions 2004 - Influence

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Impressions 2017 - Ordinary

This year was my first full year as a small business owner. I made a lot of mistakes, struggled, and cried a lot. Amidst the thick of things, it felt as though I barely survived and yet our studio ranked 28th in August and maintained a number 1 ranking in Georgia at the end of November. The journey was mostly unexciting. I didn't have a lot of time for fun. Countless times, I questioned my decision to leave my job in favor of becoming an owner. Many of my clients congratulated me on pursuing my dream while I kept hoping my dream of feeling happy (or at least happier) would actually come true. After dealing with so many daily challenges, I felt anxious waiting for the other Toesox to drop. Sounds pretty drab, right?

While the struggle was real, in hindsight, I am able to appreciate many gems. I joined a weekly networking group where I met generous, dedicated, and witty small business owners who inspire me to keep growing. Our Car Cruise-In raised over $1,000 for veterans and made the news. I even got to dance on stage in Vegas! So, despite having to handle difficult customer service challenges, our loyal members supported us along the way by spreading the word, sending thank you notes, baking lemon squares, sharing their success stories, and wearing their smiles. Although my intention was to improve their quality of life, often it was our members who enhanced mine.

During our recent member appreciation day one of our members stopped by the studio in between running errands to let us know that she wanted to come in to express her appreciation for us. She asked me how I felt about our first year with genuine interest, so in true Steph form I shared my feelings of anxiety over the next struggle. She asked if she could offer some advice which I conceded. "Could you try thinking about your struggles as learning opportunities instead?" A sudden relief came over me. It wasn't what she said but how she said it and the fact that she said anything at all. It's like she was Clarence coming to get her wings.

I got sick three times towards the end of the year which means that while I was determined to help others with their health I neglected mine. After three days in bed, my lower back and hip flexors reminded me not to do that again! As usual, DJ took great care of me but I also received an unexpected surprise from a new business partner and friend. She dropped off my order and brought me an entire bag of lemons. She suggested that I make hot lemon water... so much better than tea and I didn't miss the sweetener! My body was a hot mess but my heart was full.

I learned that for every rotten apple there are 10 rose buds. I witnessed that small acts of kindness often lead to unexpected surprises. I even concluded that people are capable of doing several reps beyond their first groan. The most significant learning opportunity came to me in various forms. In the snow day I failed to appreciate because I was so unhappy about missing out on my only planned vacation day of the year. In the way I sometimes took my loved ones for granted even though they always did anything I needed.

As Brené Brown suggested... I was too busy chasing the extraordinary that I missed out on the ordinary experiences of every day life. In the year ahead I plan to discover ways to enjoy the ordinary and celebrate small victories. I hope you will do the same!

Read prior impressions... Impressions 2016 - Kindness Impressions 2015 - Blossom Impressions 2014 - Independence Impressions 2013 - Vow Impressions 2012 - Faith Impressions 2011 - Dream Impressions 2010 - Penguin Impressions 2009 - Smile Impressions 2008 - Fun Impressions 2007 - Inspiration Impressions 2006 - Magic Impressions 2005 - Love Impressions 2004 - Influence

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Impressions 2016 - Kindness

My birthday present this year was a weekend trip to Birmingham. A couple of Pilates classes, followed by a stint to Club Pilates headquarters in Orange County, and a large wire transfer while on vacation in Cabo secured the deal. And just like that DJ and I became the proud parents of a Club Pilates studio in East Cobb. We ended the year one short of 100 members and everything in between is a blur.

We joked about having to change dirty diapers but there is some truth to that. In fact, my father suggested that I pass on this adventure all together and now I know why. It is hard. And some days I really wish I could erase my signature from the dotted line. Every time I go to the store I have to buy another box of tissues. No one warned me that the morning sickness would continue well beyond the first 12 weeks.

The only reason I am still alive to share this story is you. Well, DJ and you. My legal boyfriend has worked around the clock to keep our studio afloat. From demolition to sales and everything in between, he continues to amaze me. I am truly humbled by the support I have received from so many. My fingers would fatigue if I were to list everyone individually by name. Some of you inspired me, a couple of you helped paint, a handful forked over a few benjamins, and the brave trusted us enough to lie on their backs with their legs up in straps!

DJ often asks me why I'm still with him. I'm sure the rest of you already know he's a rare gem. In addition to his tireless work ethic, he kills all of us with kindness. I am lucky to learn and grow by his side. This year more than any other reminded me that although life is challenging and unpredictable we can always count on kindness. When someone is mean you can respond with kindness, when you are sad a random act of kindness can spark a smile, and when you are left with nothing you can still be kind.

Don't get me wrong, I'm still the mean one in the family but my perspective has shifted. I understand why service might be slower than desired, or why the floor might have a few specs of dust, why things cost more than expected, or even why typos make it into final print. Blasphemy! A lot of simple things add up to one big complexity... even when you tackle things one bite at a time. That's why kindness really matters.

You could start your own business and learn this first hand or you can take it from me, be kinder this year. I know I will.

"In a world where you can be anything be kind." ~ Unknown

Read prior impressions... Impressions 2015 - Blossom Impressions 2014 - Independence Impressions 2013 - Vow Impressions 2012 - Faith Impressions 2011 - Dream Impressions 2010 - Penguin Impressions 2009 - Smile Impressions 2008 - Fun Impressions 2007 - Inspiration Impressions 2006 - Magic Impressions 2005 - Love Impressions 2004 - Influence

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Impressions 2015 - Blossom

*This post is my impression for the year 2015

My accountability friend Rebecca Healy once suggested that I had spent enough of my life thinking and needed to spend more of it doing. She was right. Although my stubborn ways fought her advice for a while, I finally surrendered at the age of 40.

Early last year, I participated in a creativity workshop based on The Artist's Way led by professional writer and writing coach Beth Hermes. Beth's class helped me kick off the year with intention. While I have not yet published a children's book about a little penguin named Zeke, I did keep a journal and wrote frequently about the many things I am grateful for... like my mentor Grace Smith who had previously mentioned the book only to spend years collecting dust.

I continued examining ways to improve with my encouraging book club crew You Only Live Once. In The Charge, Brendon Burchard advises that we learn a new skill every 60 days. Similarly, Scott Adams recommends developing speaking skills in his humorous book entitled How to Fail at Almost Everything and Still Win Big. Not shocking advice but I finally did something about it and joined a speaking circle facilitated by Eric Atwood. I am now a renown professional speaker touring the world. Is that what you heard? Ha. Not quite... but I did practice connecting with others and felt inspired.

Listening to audio books in the Jeep lessened my road rage and helped me become 10% Happier. So maybe the latter is a bit of a stretch but it's much better than listening to Adele's Hello on the radio for the 100th time (DJ's favorite). Dan Harris's ten percent happier concept resonated with me. There is no bullet-proof system for being happy or being successful but we can take small steps towards improving ourselves one bite at a time. I'm still struggling with my meditation practice but it is now a regular habit along with wearing my mouth guard every night. Thank you Gretchen Rubin for stirring me to make that one stick. My tip for becoming ten percent happier? Buy a Jeep. Jeepsters wave at me far more often than my neighbors.

Inertia kept me from traveling to Europe for nearly 20 years but I finally hopped across the pond just in time to end the year with a bang. DJ and I spent the holidays exploring with the Shelley family in a classy van. I can't imagine surviving 10 days with many groups of that size... eight humans and my favorite dog Prada. If I had room in my suitcase Prada would now reside in Atlanta. Sadly, Jennifer had it all figured out... her generous and thoughtful gifts from around the world left absolutely no room in our baggage. I could write an entire book on our escapades abroad but for now I'll pick two memories.

Our trip to the beaches of Normandy, France was an experience beyond anything I could have ever imagined. Walking around Pointe du Hoc left my heart overwhelmed by the courage of all those who risked their lives in the war. Although I chickened out of plunging into the ocean while visiting South Carolina the prior year, this time was different... We welcomed the New Year by jumping into the frigid waters of the English Channel from the beaches of Deauville in remembrance of all those we lost.

The evening before we shared our gratitude for the past year over a delicious meal and a few bottles of wine. While I have a lot to be grateful for I notably appreciate the moment I decided to re-frame my frustrations as a gift. In the words of Anais Nin I leave you this... "And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom."

Read prior impressions… Impressions 2014 - Independence Impressions 2013 - Vow Impressions 2012 - Faith Impressions 2011 - Dream Impressions 2010 - Penguin Impressions 2009 - Smile Impressions 2008 - Fun Impressions 2007 - Inspiration Impressions 2006 - Magic Impressions 2005 - Love Impressions 2004 - Influence

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Infinite

I've been pondering my impression of turning 40 for a while.  In fact, I started a list named "My spices of life" several months ago, nearly came up with 40, and then stalled.  More recently a friend of mine suggested I narrow in.  After re-reading my list only once, a single item stood out above the rest.  That triggered a domino effect of connected thoughts.  I love it when that happens.

The lesson was this: "There is always more than one way to look at things."  So simple. Eleven words that can be applied to anything.  For example, I could look at turning 40 as only having half a life left to live or I can look at it as a clean slate. Some of you might come up with something a little somber or hopefully humorous.  The options are infinite.

Another context that came to mind was that of compassion.  This past year I specifically searched for a book on this very topic hoping that I might become Mother Theresa via osmosis. You guessed it, I still have a long way to go but a single thought has lingered; "seek to understand". That's another way of looking at things differently.  No one likes being wrong more than I do but life isn't a math lesson.  In life, 1 + 1 does not easily resolve to 2.

We have all been told that happiness is a choice, albeit a difficult one at times. Sometimes it takes just about all I have to stop cursing the bad driver in front of me until I remember that I drive slowly (well at least more slowly) when I don't know where I am going.  At work I frequently lose my patience with others until I'm humbled by my own mistakes. It can be a struggle but I am always able to find the silver lining.

Albert Einstein defined insanity as "doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results". Recently, I came across a motivation coach named Ramit Sethi.  What interested me about him was his knack for testing outcomes to determine whether or not something works and then indefinitely to ensure it is still working. Often we take someone else's word for granted.  We believe the world is flat or that babies are delivered by storks. That's why someone invented Snopes... to prove all of us wrong! That is yet another reason to look at things differently, because unfortunately, we are not always right.

Whether or not you believe in coincidences, one of the greatest gifts of life is the moments we notice.  When we are open to looking at things in a different way we discover details that we might not have paid attention to before - some call that an aha moment. Others might call it karma while others might even be bold enough to call it a miracle.

The movie About Time offers the following message: if you had the ability to travel back in time you could repeat each day in an effort to make it better the second time around, or you could just live each day only once treating every moment as your last. The way you make the most of every single day is by adjusting the way you look at what happens. So, that's my plan for the next 40 plus years and it feels like a pretty good start.

Thank you for joining me in making every moment count.

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Impressions 2014 - Independence

*This post is my impression for the year 2014

This year I thought a lot about being independent which we'll get back to in just a moment. Everyone agrees that helping others is important, admirable, and for some even teardrop provoking. Earlier this month I posted that "there are not too many things that make me cry... but seeing people take the extra mile to express their appreciation for others is at the very top." I have always been humbled by the goodness of people. That is why I have faith. Volunteer opportunities abound but I do think we are missing the boat on encouraging self-reliance. It's harder to teach others to fish so sometimes we feed them instead. I am grateful to my parents for raising me to be able to take care of myself. I feel strong and empowered by this. Of course I also appreciate that DJ cooks for me, since that's not my favorite thing. Yet, I can and do cook especially when he's deployed overseas. I also have the luxury of outsourcing services such as dry cleaning even though I am capable of washing and ironing clothing myself. At the same time, I'm not prepared to be completely self sufficient because I don't know how to grow my own food and my thumb is the opposite of green. I've only caught a single fish in my entire life and even then he swam away. While researching synonyms for independence I found many seemingly negative words such as separate or self-reliant which means the opposite of dependent. Why is that? From the minute we are born we are immediately vulnerable. While I agree with the idea of re-claiming our playful and creative nature throughout our lives, I also believe that it is our responsibility to grow up. Some people think accumulating wealth is greed while others believe beggars are greedy for accepting money from people who work hard to earn theirs. There is probably some truth to both scenarios. What I know to be true for me is that I don't like depending on others. It's scary. On the flip side, the more I save, the more liberated I feel. I have become increasingly motivated to guide others onto the path of becoming financially independent so they can feel the same too. Over the last year DJ and I spent a lot of time watching Burn Notice. While I realize it's not an educational program I am intrigued by the protagonist's ability to make the most out of what he has to survive each obstacle his team encounters. I'm a little sad that we only have two episodes to go but perhaps that means it's time for me to survive my own new challenges, focus more on providing, and less on consuming. It's easy to blame others for the state of the economy but I can make a difference and should.  I found a few ideas to get me started here and hope that some of you might be motivated to do the same...

Read prior impressions… Impressions 2013 - Vow Impressions 2012 - Faith Impressions 2011 - Dream Impressions 2010 - Penguin Impressions 2009 - Smile Impressions 2008 - Fun Impressions 2007 - Inspiration Impressions 2006 - Magic Impressions 2005 - Love Impressions 2004 - Influence

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Impressions 2013 - Vow

*This post is my impression for the year 2013 The best "resolution" I ever made was to form friendships with people who have toys. It was a joke... sort of. Hot tub anyone? Fortunately for me, I now have friends who share some of their pretty awesome toys! Do you think that's what experts had in mind when they suggested creating smart goals (specific, measurable, attainable, relevant, and timely)? Probably not. As someone who has spent countless hours on self introspection, I'm still not sure what I want to do with my life. Not like the person who always wanted to have a child. Not like the person who always wanted to code video games. And certainly not like the person who always wanted to be a lawyer! Not to single out lawyers (my sister is a great one) but isn't it true that many people go to law school because they still aren't sure what they want to do for a living? In reality, most of us are always a work in progress, constantly in motion, even at rest. When we are "young" we are always in a hurry to get somewhere (drive, drink, go to jail, oops I meant graduate) until one day we realize that the journey matters more than the destination. A shock, at least for me. If only I could TRULY appreciate every second as a gift. When Oprah described Nelson Mandela as a man who was "unscathed by bitterness", I pondered why I couldn't show a quarter of his grace. While many of us will focus on our finances and health only to fail I wonder why we approach our resolutions all wrong. This year DJ and I got hitched and were humbled by our family and friends. We wrote our vows and decided to have fun with it. But a vow isn't something you say once and forget about it. A vow is a way of life. While DJ said he'd promise to love me more than Dale Jr wins races (not often, though we are hopeful), he also said he couldn't wait to see what the years hold for us in the future. I love his open ended optimism in juxtaposition to my realism: "As the years go by and our sexiness fades I will still be married to the man who makes me laugh every single day." DJ was the first friend I made with a cool toy... a boat. And while I "achieved" my resolution, life-just-happened, or as Allen Saunders wrote: "Life is what happens to us while we are making other plans." Perhaps next year I can focus more on actually living in the present (house hunting) rather than figuring out where I want to be in the future (owning a house). What about you? Read prior impressions... Impressions 2012 - Faith Impressions 2011 - Dream Impressions 2010 - Penguin Impressions 2009 - Smile Impressions 2008 - Fun Impressions 2007 - Inspiration Impressions 2006 - Magic Impressions 2005 - Love Impressions 2004 - Influence

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"I still hear the songs, reminding me of a friend." ~ Don't You Worry Child by Swedish House Mafia featuring John Martin