spicymiilk

[spicymiilk]

I’ve been gone for almost two ish years, lots of things have changed! And mostly good!

I dropped out of art school two weeks before I was supposed to move out, got medicated properly for the first time in my life, met my partner of a year n a half and moved in with them this past summer, applied and got admitted into a STEM focused school aiming for a applied mathematics major, started therapy and have sessions twice a week, got diagnosed with bipolar 2, had another surgery on my elbow, lost and regained my avatar hyperfixation, regained and discovered my Andor/Starwars hyperfixation.

It’s been a long long time, and probably no one will see this, but I’m proud of all my progress and all that good stuff. When I posted here I was in an incredibly uncertain, unsteady and painful (literal physical pain, I was dealing with an undiagnosed condition) and spent 14-17 hours daily writing fics for weeks on end. Im in a better place now, and while I’m incredibly busy , it might be time to poke around have hobbies again!

Tap tap

Is this thing on

[spicymiilk]

Tap tap

Is this thing on

[spicymiilk]

Hey team I’m gonna write this stay tuned

Today I was thinking about Spider getting taken in by the Sully's, getting adopted, feeling like he got everything he ever wanted and was as happy as he could be but still feeling like. It's not enough. Like he was missing time, like he's always making up for missed time with them. He can't ever have those years without them back, and no amount of time forward will make up for the past. No one else gets it, why sometimes he'd just rather stay home and weave baskets with Neytiri and Tuk, or just follow Jake around when he goes to boring meetings, instead or going out and having fun with his friends. Emotionally he's years behind.

The person who is the closest to getting it is Tuk. Sometimes Tuk just wants to sit in someone's lap while she plays, because she's little and sometimes she needs to be cuddled by her mom. Some days Spider literally can't let one of them out of his sight or something catastrophic will happen. Emotionally he needs a cuddle.

[spicymiilk]

the sully kids human version

[spicymiilk]

OMG I missed you! I still have a little hope for new chapters of your modern au avatar ^^

I’m gearing up to actually start writing it again soon. I’ve been tweaking and improving on my writing and now that current hyperfixation is going on winter break I will have no excuses! It will happen!!

[spicymiilk]

Smells like a avatar resurgence rn

[spicymiilk]

Hi, is your modern au avatar abandoned or is it just a break?

It’s just a very…veryyy long break

The problem is that writing was a hyperfixation that went hand in hand with Avatar, and now that I’m not actively into avatar, writing is just a massive slog

Knowing myself, I will finish all my current fics when the next movie comes out and I go insane about them again

Sorry guys :,) I’m currently in my f1 arc and also my fixing my life and mental health arc

[spicymiilk]

On the nature of daylight is an evil little song with evil little implications for my mental health

[spicymiilk]

hello mr…spicy?? mr milk??? idk anyways just wanted to say i have synesthesia and your username sounds orange to me. thought you might appreciate 🫡🫡🫡🫡

Mr milk is good. I’ll answer to mr milk.

YOOOO as it fucking should!!! We are HUGE orange fans over here on the spicymilk blog. Massive ones

Synesthesia is so cool though 🤔 absolutely wild to me to even imagine it. One of my favorite things is describing sounds as tasting a certain way even though I don’t taste anything, it’s just the vibes

[spicymiilk]

Hii when will the new chapter of I Don't Think I've Changed come out?

It’s not written yet, but it is planned out and I’m finding new juice and inspiration to write. I’m hoping to crank out a good chunk of it and the next chapter over the next two weeks :)

So it might be a bit of a wait, but it’s not abandoned!

[spicymiilk]

Sorry for disappearing besties :,)

[spicymiilk]

my favorite thing is sitting down to write for the first time in a week and putting on the saddest collection of songs I can to bust out more angst

it's like 80 degrees out and sunny as fuck and I'm projecting onto a fictional avatar character at 2 pm in the afternoon

[spicymiilk]

Snippet of what's to come:

He feels himself freeze, focusing only on the memories that claw their way to the forefront. Dangerous and full of edges, they take root at the base of his neck and don’t move. Making his hands clench, and unclench. 

Because (give it up Quaritch) he recognises the set of those shoulders. He knows (it’s all over) that face, the face that is all too human even though it’s coloured blue. His mind can supply the voice easily, because (it’s not over while I’m breathing) it was the one he heard before he’d died. 

He knows this anger too, the one that scorches his chest from the inside. Because it’s old, and new. From a life he doesn’t know, and the one he’s living. And as he turns towards the General, he realises he has a goal and a purpose, a drive after drifting for so long with no physical destination. And his lips stretch over his fanged teeth as his desolate and half crumbled mind latches onto the idea of revenge, and vengeance.

[spicymiilk]

Tap Card (L.A) / Clipper Card (Bay Area) / Ventra Card (Chicago) / MetroCard (NYC)

[spicymiilk]

I Don't Think I've Changed- CH 4

after a month, i bring to you more angst and more long suffering parents Neytiri and Jake. Neteyam is a loser and Spider has issues.

Please enjoy!

Chapter Summary:

But right now, he’s nauseous and panicked, and there’s an anxiety that he hates more than himself clawing at the back of his throat, and Neytiri’s arm, long and slim and strong, is enough to steal the remaining breath right out of his lungs.

A strangled little sound escapes him, and he ducks. Neytiri stops.

“Sorry,” he whispers into the sink, where dishes are waiting for him. That’s his job, sometimes. “Sorry. I’m sorry, ma’am.”

[spicymiilk]

Hi when will the new chapter of modern au come out?

Today! I just need to edit it a bit and then I’ll post :)

[spicymiilk]

1, 6, and 19 for the ask game ?

already answered!

6. also already answered whoopsie

19. you’re mad/ashamed/horrified you actually kind of like…

mmmm. mmmm. well for a long time that was spider n lo'ak, until i got over myself.

you know what, i read a fic MONTHS ago that was a big old polyamary thing between Jake n Tonowari n Neytiri and Ronal and i won't say i like it, but i fuck with it.