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twilight where everything is the same but alice’s hair and makeup is
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what if vampires are like mosquitoes and only the ladies drink blood
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Twilight fans: Why did you give all of the women in this series such traumatic backstories?
Stephenie Meyer:

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Alice “werewolves are not good company to keep” Cullen: “bella, you have to come to italy right now to save my brother from the oldest, most intimidating vampires in existence even though they’ll try to kill you for simply knowing said brother”
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Someone just called me an abuse apologist for liking Jacob I—
pls that is so embarrassing for them y’all it’s 2021 if you hate jacob black & judge him for actions a white woman wrote into existence you’re so 2000 and late

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Twilight AU where Charlie is played by Billy Ray Cyrus
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I just realized that the reason I get uncomfortable during all the close up shots of Bella hyperventilating in Twilight is because she has American Girl doll teeth.

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Edward: You have to understand Bella, secrecy is of the utmost importance for our kind.
Alice: *jumps off the banister in front of a crowd of humans* HAPPY BIRTHDAY I SAW YOU OPEN YOUR PRESENT WITH MY POWERS YOU WILL WEAR IT LATER📣📣📣💅🔪
Bella: JASPER📣NO📣FAIR📣WITH📣THE📣MOOD📣CONTROL📣THING📣😤
Edward:

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me when I see the pizza delivery guy pull up
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The Washington coast is seriously the most beautifil coastline!
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"ThE wOlvEs HaVe nO ConTrOL." Edd boy your brother tried to drain Bella like a go-gurt over a single drop of blood and you yeeted her into a wall because you couldn't hold back your own strength shut the fuck up. Jacob never hurt her but Bella has TWO scars just from being in your general vicinity and those are just the physical ones.
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