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[spidori]

t-...to-...toasty s'more mushrooms.....

[spidori]

Danny: I was told to report to you

Alfred: Who told you that?

Danny: Didn't get his name, but it was a man with black hair, blue eyes, tall and sad?

Alfred: That's could be so many in this manor. Can you be more specific?

Danny: um, he was pretending to be stupid at last night gala?

Alfred: More specific

Danny: He yelled "Eat the rich" before nose diving into the glass tower.

Alfred: That's was Master Jason. Did he tell you why you needed to report to me?

Danny: He told me to give this to you when I found you *hands over folded paper*

Alfred reading: Dear Alfred, here is a boy who agreed to work part-time as a cook for the mannor while you recover from your broken arm and broken legs . Let me know if he becomes a problem. I'll kill him for you. Heart Jason

Danny: ....He was joking about the killing part right?

Alfred: No, he put a heart. He is rather serious.

Danny strain nervous smile: Oh

Alfred: Not that it matters. If you ARE a problem, I will put a bullet between your eyes before you can beg. Working legs or not. Now then, how about I show you the kitchen, yeah?

Danny: .....the pay is what again?

Alfred: Five hundred for each meal you prepare and an hourly salary of twenty-nine dollars for how long it takes you to cook.

Danny: Aight, I'm desperate enough. Lead the way sir.

Alfred studying him: You may survive the Waynes yet.

Danny: Wait. What does that mean?

Alfred: This way *rolling away in wheel chair*

Danny: SIR!? WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?

[spidori]

Change my meme (a replacement 'Change my mind' template) - template post - Imgur

[spidori]

Maddie: If you don't behave, I'll be forced to send you to your Godfather, young lady. He'll straighten you out. Jazz: Oh, when Danny sneaks out, he gets more chores but when I sneak out-wait. Godfather? I have one of those? Maddie: Yes of course, why wouldn't you? Jazz: I've never met him. I always assumed you guys forgot to give me one. Maddie: Oh no, it's just that your godfather is always so busy, and finding the time in his schedule is brutal. But he would be delighted to see you. I used to always send him photos of you, and he sent us some money for your college fund. Jazz: Wait, he's the one that's been funding my college fund? Who is he? Maddie: Bruce Wayne Jazz: .....How do you know, Bruce Wayne!? Maddie: We go way back. When we were kids, Brucie and I used to run around looking for Ghosts in Gotham as the sole members of the Ghost Hunters Club. He was always really into myths and legends. Before I met your father, I was planning on marrying Brucie. Just so we didn't have to deal with people constantly harassing us for our hands in marriage. Jazz pulling out a notepad: I'm going to need you to explain your entire lore to me in great detail mom. Maddie: Well, as you know I was disowned- Jazz: Disowned?! Maddie: Uh-huh. I was disowned, and so was your Aunt Alicia when she divorced. I broke the deal to become Lady Wayne, and Father lost his mind. He's one of those men who believes women are just meant to be married off, you know, the type. Anway Brucie snuck me out of Gotham by stealing a boat form the harbor, while his Butler returned fire to Father's men- Jazz: Wait. Why were they shooting at you? Maddie: Father was throwing a fit. Anyway, we're speeding down the Brown River, ducking and weaving. Bullets flew through the air like the rain of the storm we hoped to use to cover our tracks. Alfred was shooting them down one by one and- Jazz: Hold on. Let me get some recording equipment. I need to be able to review this later. I'm still trying to process Bruce Wayne being my godfather. Maddie: Alright, sweetie. You know Father died a few years back, so I could return to Gotham. Maybe we should give Brucie a visit. I hear he has plenty of children now, and it would be nice to meet them! Jazz walking up the stairs in a daze: Bruce Wayne is my godfather....Mom had to escape Gotham through a shootout....She calls him Brucie...Granddad was evil???

[spidori]

the stupidest thing about mental illness is the short half life of reassurances. like yes I know you reminded me yesterday that I'm not secretly toxic waste that everybody wants rid of but that was like 18 hours ago and I forgor

[spidori]

just found out that stoats hunt twice the size of them like rabbits by aggressively and eccentrically dancing around it with their little slinky rigatoni bodies so it can confuse the absolute fuck out of its prey until it can get close enough to jump on its back like some shadow of the colossus shit and take it down

[spidori]

Damian: How have you gain so much strength? You are not formally trained and yet you give both my parents a difficult time in combat

Anti-hero Danny: The power of love has given me strength

Damian: Disgusting. If this is some moral lecture-

Danny: Oh no, I mean love literally powers me. Any form of it, even just a love for combat. Your parents really like to fight and fuels me during my fights with them.

Damian: I hate everything about you

Danny: I'm getting stronger with every second you talk to me so we both know that's a lie.

Damian blushing: I'm not in love with you!

Danny blinking: huh well a few seconds ago it was love build on respect and desire to fight me but now it's romantic.....want to go on a date?

Damian: ......yes

Danny: Cool. Pick you up at 8 tonight. I'll go in my civilian form, so if a fourteen year old human knocks on your door later, that's me! Bye! *Portals away*

Damian whiping out his phone: Jon, you aren't going to believe this. Kon's dating advice worked.

Jon: First, I'm happy you got a date! Second, how dare you go to my elder brother for dating advice when I'm your best friend.

[spidori]

I FOUND IT GUYS I SPENT HALF AN HOUR LOOKING FOR THIS VIDEO AND ITS HERE

[spidori]

pelcan Mouth perfec t size for put baby in to n\ap! inside very Soft and Comfort baby sleep soundly put baby in Pelican Mouth. Put Baby In Pelican Mouth. no problems ever in peliccan mouth because good Shape and Support for baby neck weak of big baby head. Apelican Mouth yes a place for a baby put baby in pelican mouth can trust pelican for giveing good love to baby. friend pelican

[spidori]

currently maybe possibly single-handedly crashing whatever servers eton hosts its archived student newspapers on because me and a friend are getting obsessed with a single outspoken prefect from 1883

[spidori]

The first simulated image of a black hole was calculated with an IBM 7040 computer using 1960 punch cards and hand-plotted by French astrophysicist Jean-Pierre Luminet in 1978.

[spidori]

there’s a decent amt of neurologists who’ve called the sleep schedules we’re obligated to be on despite flagrant conflict with our natural circadian rhythms “borderline torture” and the work hours we’re expected to put in despite the fact that the average person can only maintain maximal efficiency and focus for 3 hours at a time “nearly inhumane” and i think about that a lot

[spidori]

I really like winnie the pooh, Can you draw winnie the pooh pleaseeeeee

[spidori]

Porygon