spiky-observer-asylum

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I feel like some people think that trans men just go from being seen as fully cis women to fully cis men with no in between. No “obviously trans” (and therefore a target for hatred) stage. It’s such a strange take that I truly wonder if those people know any trans men at all or if they’ve just made up a monster in their heads.

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Also I think it’s INCREDIBLY fucked up that so many trans mascs and trans me are now essentially being forced to shafe some of the worst most painful and most traumatic experiences of their lives just so we can get a fucking shred of sympathy when we say that we’re hurting.

Do you not see what’s wrong with that? Do you think you’re entitled to every single bad thing to happen to us just so you can spit in our face and say maybe MAYBE we’re telling the truth?

What will it take? What will it fucking take? Does every last trans masc or trans man have to get fucking stabbed in the gut 16 times by someone saying out loud with their full chest “I am doing this because you are a trans man and no other reason” for you to take this shit seriously? Fuck off.

Fuck off with your transphobia. Fuck off with your misogyny. Fuck off with your bioessentialism. And maybe just maybe consider for a moment you might be fucking wrong.

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Tfems on here will complain (and rightfully so) about being pedojacketed, they/them'd, being painted as predators and etc. ... And then turn around and paint trans men as predators, pedojacket trans men, and they/them trans men they don't like.

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It would really be nice if we wouldn't tear the trans community apart in a time when fascism is in power and trans people are among the main targets. That would be pretty awesome I think

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If you tell me that I sound emotional and irrational when I talk about my own oppression, and what I’m describing isn’t actually oppression but a victim complex, then yeah, I’m gonna make the mental connection to the chuds and reactionaries online and ones in my own life that call trans men mentally ill women, saying shit like “people just wanna be a victim”. Down play the misogyny I face and call me irrational for being angry about it, I’m going to count it as part of the hundreds of times others have said and done the same throughout my life, when I lived as a girl, when I was nonbinary for a period in my life, and now as a trans masc. It ain’t rocket science, someone that’s used to hearing the same dog whistle again and again has a strong and negative reaction to hearing it, in other news, water is wet and grass is usually green. Let’s not use a dog whistle that’s often been weaponized against all types of marginalized people, against someone who’s marginalized in multiple different ways.

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Trans: *calls trans men men and compares them to other men*

You: “YOURE JUST TRYING TO CALL US WOMEN”

Do you realize how everything you’re saying sounds to someone who isn’t already 110% bought into what you’re saying?

Nah what u even on bro. What are you even talking about?

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Hi! Misandry is not a systemic issue and thus transmisandry is not a real thing! Call it transandrophobia doesn't make it any less of a not real thing. This is basic intersectionality 101. Like the most basic "oppressor groups are affected by the social norms of the oppressed but dont have the systemic oppression towards them." Like seriously, listen to women. Its not hard.

Not even gracing this one with an answer. Maybe you need to look up intersectionality 101.

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Look if you don't believe female and male socialization is real, you are flat out wrong. Little boys and kittles girls are treated differently as kids and taught different things.

Im not saying how you were raised defines you, it doesn't, it's just a thing that happened.

Also not everyone did get it.

A lot of my family did give it to me,but my dad also really didn't.

He taught me how to shoot guns, play magic the gathering, etc. He didn't just treat me like a little girl^tm. He raised me as a person. None of the girls should be xyz nonsense. No you have to do this because you are a girl or can't do this because you aren't a boy.

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If ur first instinct when you see a post uplifting a marginalized community is suspicion on whether or not that individual hates a different marginalized community, that’s on you. It’s not fair for you to project your assumptions about the marginalized groups you don’t like or understand onto those who are advocating for them.

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OH and another thing. having had a crypto terf ex who pressured me to detransition because i was just "afraid of being a butch woman" and she "didn't want me to mutilate my beautiful body" (to the point where i was having almost daily panic attacks from dysphoria until we broke up) and then seeing people say trans men don't experience oppression for being trans men. it makes me go cuckoo crazy you see

im sorry that happened to you anon thats horrible

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“Theyfab” “Cuntboy” “Zippertits”

There is a reason that the language transphobes use against trans men and mascs emphasizes femininity and is often explicitly sexual.

They don’t see us as men or even people, we are sexual objects to them. They’re also just mask-off misogynists who think that femininity is an insult.

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I have to head to my new job soon so I’m not gonna make a super long post about this and maybe I’m too chronically online but the way how some people talk about trans men on this sight feels kind of similar to the way terfs and radfems talk about men.

like on occasion I feel like I’ve seen the idea of “ew trans men” get thrown around on this site on occasion and tbh it kind of just feels like being a radfem in a slightly more progressive and socially acceptable way.

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SAY IT LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK

Saw an argument that said something along the lines of "transandrophobia can't be real because there's no oppression that targets cis men and there must be a cis counterpart of this oppression otherwise it doesn't exist" like WHAT. CIS PEOPLE DONT EXPERIENCE TRANSPHOBIA. THATS THE POINT. WHAT.

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Sometimes (and by sometimes I mean all the time) I just feel like there's no point. And by that I mean, there's no point in existing if you're a trans male. Society wants to rape you at best and murder you at worst on the basis of your gender identity, then when you turn towards the queer community, everyone there hates you too, but this time it's Progressive and tooootally different from the way fascists hate you on the basis of your gender identity because Men Are Bad and hating people for their gender is Good as long as they're not a woman, which is the Good, Pure, Do-No-Wrong gender.

Every other group of queer people gets all the love and support in the world but nobody cares about trans men because it's not Progressive to care about Men. Men is Privileged which makes them Bad and Woman is Oppressed which makes them Good, but nobody stops to question how this dynamic we've widely accepted as fact affects trans men, because people genuinely believe "male privilege" comes solely from the act of someone being a man, and not someone living up to the exact 1:1 standards of what patriarchal society has declared men have to be, which INHERENTLY excludes trans men in all definitions.

But the aboslute worst part is that if you take any problem with this treatment, the same people who will treat you like an incompetent stupid girl who doesn't know what's best for herself, will, in the same breath, call you an entitled misogynist MRA who should shut up and accept your suffering because it's not very MANLY of you to be vunerable and ask for help! You're a MAN, which means you have to be a cold unfeeling brute who takes the brunt of pain for poor, feeble little women who have it soooooooo much worse than you which therefore means you're required to be a human sacrifice for them so they can keep on living, cause after all, their life is way more valuable than yours is anyway.

I have spent the last half decade of my life being abused by my parents where there's literally nothing I can about it, so when I hear queer people go on about how "Trans men have it so much easier than trans women" and how trans men are evil and deserve to be excluded and deserve to die instead of actually focusing on real problems, it just further solidifies that hopelessness I feel towards life. If general society hates me, and the very people that originally prided themselves on supporting me hates me, too, then what am I supposed to do, where am I supposed to go. Who will look in my general vincity when I'm begging for help. Who will believe me when I talk about my experiences. Who will care about me?

It really gives you this idea that nobody wants you around and they wouldn't even notice if you died. The queer community isn't a community if you're a trans male. You're an outsider who doesn't belong and deserves exclusion no matter where you go or who you are. We're never, ever good enough.

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Just saw someone on TikTok say that “trans man are trying to invade women and lesbian spaces like they have been for the past thousands of years” and just huh????

First of all trans men aren’t trying to invade lesbians spaces is as far as I can tell unless I missed last weeks trans newsletter

Second of all trans men and lesbians have a very long, interconnected history. I wouldn’t be too surprised if people who feel connected to that history feel connected to each other, or even those who have lived through that history feel connected to each other and want to spend time with each other, and therefore in each other spaces.

Third of all TRANS men have been trying to invade women’s spaces for thousands of years??? TRANS men. Up until about 10-20 years ago we weren’t even seen as men. We couldn’t be in mens spaces and when we were in women’s spaces, and in public, in general, we were often just seen as a tomboy or some version of butch like what???

I swear to God, TikTok users are idiots 

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Are you calling me a man in a positive way or are you calling me a man so that you can be an asshole to me without feeling bad?

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Some of you haven’t fully unpacked the Gender Traitor view of trans men and transmascs and it shows.

You may not be calling us gender traitors outright but then you act as if we’re uniquely more likely to be misogynistic (including transmisogynistic or lesbophobic) than cis men. You imply that by transitioning we’ve escaped misogyny, as if that were the point in the first place. You’re quick to prescribe things like male entitlement to us with zero attempt to understand what might lead us to the decisions we make. You pull us aside to lecture us about how we have to watch ourselves to make sure we’re not misogynistic and how we as men have to use our male privilege to protect women (hey, why do you think the women need the men to protect them like that? It’s a bit patriarchal imo), all while never giving cis men the same spiel.

And then we’re stuck dancing around your assumption that we hate women because we’re trans men! We can’t just say we’re not women without going off about how womanhood is great even if it’s not for us, even though it’s perfectly reasonable to imagine we might have a lot of negative feelings about having been forced to live as girls and women when we aren’t women, even though the type of person who expects this out of, say, people who were raised Christian but aren’t as adults is generally someone most of us can agree is an unreasonable douche looking to convert the person back. And when anything about us makes women uncomfortable, regardless of whether it’s reasonable, we’re the ones who are supposed to accommodate you at our own expense. Trans men get forced into a separate waiting room at the gynecologist’s office because cis women “feel unsafe” about there being a man in the room. We ask to have our voices heard in the conversation surrounding abortion access and reproductive rights and we’re scolded for “making a women’s rights issue about men”. We find historical figures who show every single sign of fitting the description of trans men and cis women crawl out of the woodwork to yell at us for “erasing women from history.”

And with all this in mind, all I can think is that you just see us transitioning as a betrayal towards women. We turned our backs on the Sisterhood or whatever and now we’re the enemy. But as a trans man myself, all I’ve wanted was to just exist in peace as a man. I don’t see any gender as being some opposing force. It’s like hair color to me, just something different about everyone. It’s not my fault I was assigned the wrong gender at birth. It’s not my fault I was born with primary and secondary sex characteristics that give me gender dysphoria. It’s especially not my fault that for thousands of years women and those forcibly assigned as women were regarded as property and treated as such. And yet, somehow, it seems that I’m expected to apologize several times daily for all of this purely because I’m a trans man.

It’s so fucking infuriating. Just let me live, damnit.