spitebitch

[spitebitch]

For Father’s Day, feel free to ask my muse anything you’d like about their father.

Don’t forget to specify the muse if it’s a multimuse blog!

[spitebitch]

you know what? he’s not dealing with today. and there he goes, flicking the cap off the vodka and-- glug glug bitch.

[spitebitch]

crypticdeku​:

izuku nods, taking a deep breath. it was stressful, finding out the truth about their father. to hear tomura talking to him… and that he was leaking the information? this was a bit to take in but chews on his lip and thinks. “what… am i the only one that knows?”

he nodded slowly. he prayed that izuku was the only one that knew, anyway. or it would be over for him, he was sure. “no one can know. if he takes me out now there’s no one that can help stop what he’s planning.”

[spitebitch]

crypticdeku​:

oh, things were falling apart. he watches tomura panic, and he’s waiting for the other to speak but there’s no words. there’s silence between them both, is it better that way. then tomura speaks. “please do.” he tries to remain stoic and brave.

panic was taking over. but he tried to ground himself. he should be more comforted by the fact they were blood related, shouldn’t he? maybe. . . but the only blood relation consistently in his life put him in this situation in the first place. a deep breath. izuku was being calm. he could do the same, even if he had been caught on call with father dearest. “i was giving him misinformation. . . i’ve been the one leaking intel on father to the pros.” but he didn’t have a way to prove that, did he?

[spitebitch]

slaps down some fantasy au stuff

tomura is a tiefling ranger, he was just a child when he witnessed a horrible battle between a great hero and a great evil-- though the evil was defeated, the hero who was once human had been damned to be a lich thanks to all the healers that refused to let him die. the hero was mangled, broken, now feared by those who once loved him.

though the evil one had tried to raise him to follow in his footsteps tomura found himself lost and confused. the hero was forced into a self imposed exile while society reveled in the peace his sacrifice gave. he fled. people were wary of his kind anyway, recent events likely wouldn’t benefit him either.

tomura became a recluse himself, living on the very edges of civilization and doing what needed to be done. he will do what it takes to survive. and maybe it was his isolation and will that led him to become a ranger, though unintentionally. he takes down trouble, however it’s to avoid problems for himself in the future. he’s still lost. he doesn’t have answers. but he exists. he has turned his skills into a personal game, able to hunt for sport and money. and if anyone tries to disrupt his games, his sport, his life-- he will make his existence their problem.

[spitebitch]

“my murder is inevitable, i accepted that years ago. but i think it’s only fair to have some rules.” that is not normal, my good bitch.

@spitebitch​ sent: ❛ I most definitely have a list of rules that people must follow if they want to be my murderer. ❜

TIK TOK SENTENCE STARTERS PART FOUR

“… i have concerns about that entire sentence.”

[spitebitch]

@crypticdeku​ said:  tfw ur little brother is a bigger thot than u

“which is weird considering i’m the one with low enough standards to date touya--” jesus christ, man that bastard has been burned enough.

[spitebitch]

THOT METER

tomura is 100,000% thot

“this is bullying.”

[spitebitch]

@paterprouno​ said:  "I presently have the work ethic and motivation of a lobotomized sloth and there is not enough caffeine, cocaine, girl boss vibes, or positive energy in the perceived universe to change that, AND YET bills must be paid. Go forth and seize the day."

tiktok starters

“have you considered a little molly as a quick reset?” okay, he needed to change the subject and pretend he didn’t just say that. “that’s one hell of a pep talk. what’s got you that unmotivated?” it didn’t hurt to ask, really. might be useful.

[spitebitch]

TIK TOK SENTENCE STARTERS PART FOUR

some of these are quotes from tiktok creators, and some are from various other forms of media that were popular audios/trends on tiktok

❛ Welcome to Barnes and Nooo-OOOOOO! ❜

❛ Worry not my brother, I am simply vibing with these flowers. ❜

❛ The thing is - she made fun of me for getting capri-suns, and then she drank EIGHT of MY capri-suns! ❜

❛ You’re in your 20s and you’re arguing over capri-suns. ❜

❛ Mom, either you ground her or I fight her. So there’s two options, and my fists are already up. ❜

❛ I saw that! Justice doesn’t sleep. ❜

❛ You’ve been bamboozled. ❜

❛ They stamped my tortilla. They stamped my tortilla with an expiration date. ❜

❛ I’m just a baby. I’M JUST A BABY! ❜

❛ I presently have the work ethic and motivation of a lobotomized sloth and there is not enough caffeine, cocaine, girl boss vibes, or positive energy in the perceived universe to change that, AND YET bills must be paid. Go forth and seize the day. ❜

❛ See, if you title your file “ultra-secret” we got a problem. ❜

❛ It’s vegan cause it’s strawberry milk and not like cow milk. You know what I mean? ❜

❛ Show me the tit on a strawberry. ❜

❛ This is like my millionth time saying this, but I’m in love you…until Han Solo shows up. ❜

❛ I thought I recorded the whole thing but it turns out I just took a panorama. ❜

❛ Oh man, that’s cra- I don’t give a shit about that. At all. ❜

❛ And uhh, yeah dude, that dude just beat the shit out of me. Just fucking fucked me up. It was wild. ❜

❛ Hahaha - No. No, but it’s not funny at the end of the day, is it? It’s serious. ❜

❛ This is Let It Gopher. The lady who found him thought he was a gopher snowman but he’s actually a cat. ❜

❛ This is Death by Chocolate Lab. He has three legs and seven eyes. So he’s either cursed or really weird. But no one’s died yet, so we’re leaning towards weird. ❜

❛ You’re talking about MY OUTFIT and you’re wearing RIPPED SKINNY JEANS?! You’re wearing RIPPED SKINNY JEANS!! ❜

❛ I’m out here spray painting my golden tongs, right?, and I accidentally fucking spray painted a rollie pollie! *crying* I’m sorry!! ❜

❛ Well, shit. What are y’all doing? Screwing? ❜

❛ Instead of having some sort of crisis about it; which would be pfffttt silly; I just quit my job and flew to Scotland, with no money, or plans, or friends in the city. ❜

❛ I’m going to fuck your dad and give him a child he actually loves. ❜

❛ She’s out there in it shitting! What are you doing?! It’s a hurricane out there!!! ❜

❛ I have been doing much more than fraternizing with him, sir. ❜

❛ And there I lie, in my failure, and the freezing snow. ❜

❛ I took a deep breath and I went to where anyone would go to find the real answer for anything. I went to reddit. ❜

❛ You have to be 21 to drink but only 8 to summon the devil? ❜

❛ Piggy dippin! Piggy dippin at the piggy pond! You went sausage swimming in the water bowl, you dip them fat little toes in there. Chubba bun! ❜

❛ I most definitely have a list of rules that people must follow if they want to be my murderer. ❜

❛ I am NOT a middle kill. I am either the one that got you started, the one that ignited your bloodlust; or I’m the one that finally quenches that thirst. ❜

❛ You know, that’s my shower curtain from Japan, you stupid ass bitch. ❜

❛ Stop drinking normal milk! Are you - are you a criminal?! ❜

❛ I’ve narrowed it down to three things that could be going on inside that little head. Number one: Infinite knowledge. Smarter than the universe. Option two: Nothing. All floof, no brain. Option three: Plotting my demise. ❜

❛ You’re looking at Grade A Dad Material. USDA prime dad. ❜

❛ “Oh I’m so sad. I’m so depressed.” When’s the last time you had a fudgecicle? You say you’re depressed but you haven’t had a fudgcicle in like eight years. ❜

❛ It’s pretty hard to become good at things, but I’m really good at two things. One is snacks, number two is just being nervous. ❜

❛ So you make this every night of the week for your first– for your husband that you want to kill, because this will clog his arteries. ❜

❛ Alright. Welcome, hoes I’m gonna get with, and hoes I already got with. Welcome to this conference on climate change. ❜

❛ When I get upset, or mildly depressed, I go out and buy a spiderman shirt. ❜

[spitebitch]

extensusmusae​:

shitshitshitshit– the second she sees the ground crumbling, it’s only a split second after that she can use her quirk to float upward, focusing as hard as she could on not totally losing her lunch. deep breaths helped, but there was no stopping the mild stink-eye shot toward tomura.  “— come on!”

he might be a bastard, but. . . he stood, sliding his specialized gloves back on to prevent any accidents. though he was supposed to press and push, he felt like he was at the limits of his own comfort. “alright, alright. but if aizawa gets mad at me, you’re taking the fall.” he doubted that was the case, she’d drastically improved from what he could tell. “you’re getting better.”

[spitebitch]

compatiissante​:

things were starting to piece together, but it was still an agonizingly slow process when it came to understanding. she’d calmed down somewhat, but with one arm wrapped around her torso, she was still a little wary. not totally convinced, but that part of her that still cared for tomura and insisted that there was still good in him– that part of her kept her from running.

“… okay.”  her voice felt raw from all of her crying, and there was no doubt her face still looked like that of a kicked puppy.  “a traitor … that’s not you. what– what happens now? i- i still don’t … i don’t want anything to happen to you.”

teeth ensnare her bottom lip momentarily, her free arm trembling as she reaches out to him.

“… can– can you come home so we figure it out together, ‘mura? is that– is that an option?”

he couldn’t help but to back away. as much as he wanted her touch. . . he was stupid to have let her get this close. he was endangering not only himself but her. and there was only one way this could end-- he knew that. his death would be soon and it was inevitable.

“no.” this was for her own good. she needed to understand. “what happens next is i go back to all for one before he gets suspicious. whether or not you tell the heroes is up to you, just know it will only endanger me more.” he was playing with fire, but he’d committed to the decision. he knew the risks. had accepted it. he just wished she hadn’t gotten involved.

“it’s best you pretend this never happened. i won’t sell you out, but if it’s found out you knew. . . i can’t guarantee your safety from either the heroes or the league.”

[spitebitch]

well, now he’s just going to sit here consumed with the overwhelming urge to bully his brother for the rest of the evening.

[spitebitch]

crypticdeku​:

look, izuku always lands on his feet. but he screeches, and falls back after the bastard hits him with a pillow.

“oh, my offence is rank. it smells to heaven. it hath the primal eldest curse upon ’t, a brother’s murder.” maybe he did a little too well in english, motherfucker’s out here quoting hamlet.

[spitebitch]

"long live the king.” and he just smacks the fuck out of the bastard with a pillow.

“do it then. kill me. kill me and live with the memory. then tell the stars that you’ve won.”

[spitebitch]

compatiissante​:

in maya’s defense, she cared about so many people so very quickly after moving and starting at UA. everyone there had been the closest to real friends she’d ever had in her life ( even if her feelings for some felt like more than that, something they hadn’t quite worked out entirely ). of course she would feel hurt and betrayed, not quite understanding the entire situation would do that, when all she saw was him giving information to the other side.

“i– what?”  she’s still shaking, confusion crystal-clear upon her features as remnants of her tears continued to trickle down slowly.  “you– i-i don’t get it. y-you’re giving him intel on us, or are you giving us intel on him? i-i don’t understand …”  of course, having her brain riddled with all of her emotions at once would kind of do that.

her confusion made sense, given the call he’d just finished having. he swallowed and tried to find his voice better. “i give him useless information.” but that-- that wasn’t an easy sell all things considered. “but i’ve been the one giving the school the information on how to prepare for his attacks.” those ‘anonymous’ tips had to come from somewhere.

tomura felt sick saying it out loud. he was in one hell of a predicament. “there is a traitor in your class, but it’s not me.”

[spitebitch]

crypticdeku​:

“well, we can try.”

“i’ll get the oil--” well, at least he isn’t pulling a touya and stealing daddy’s credit card to buy dumb shit. yet.