splinteredthoughts

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a list of variations on the "i got hungry" joke

a statement (implying that one has made a food item incapable of being found by eating it):

Q: where's my cookie?

A: i got hungry

a joke (implying that one has made an absurdly large food item incapable of being found by eating it):

Q: where's my whole roast turkey?

A: i got hungry

an absurd joke (implying that one has made a consumable non-food item incapable of being found by eating it):

Q: where's the printer paper?

A: i got hungry

a really absurd joke (implying that one has made a non-consumable non-food item incapable of being found by eating it):

Q: where's the printer?

A: i got hungry

an insane joke (implying that one has made a sentient being incapable of being found by eating it):

Q: where's the baby?

A: i got hungry

a really insane joke (implying that one has made several sentient beings incapable of being found by eating them):

Q: where did my classmates go?

A: i got hungry

a mostly nonsensical joke (implying that one has made a non-food item incapable of being found in its regular location but capable of being found elsewhere by eating it):

Q: why is the nail clipper here?

A: i got hungry

a nonsensical joke (implying that one has made a non-food item incapable of being found in its regular state but capable of being found in another state being by eating it):

Q: why are the lights off?

A: i got hungry

a really nonsensical joke (implying that one has made an unalterable non-food item incapable of being found in its regular state but capable of being found in another state being by eating it):

Q: why is it raining?

A: i got hungry

a non-sequitur (answering an unrelated question):

Q: what time is it?

A: i got hungry

an absurd non-sequitur (answering an unrelated statement):

Q: my favorite color is blue

A: i got hungry

a really absurd non-sequitur (answering completely unprompted):

Q: ...

A: i got hungry

a declaration (to whom? to nobody. to nothing):

A: i got hungry.

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Everyone remind me to stay at least three miles off the internet starting tomorrow until I play all of Deltarune Ch. 3 and 4.

Thanks! :]

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HE SAID IT!! HE SAID IT!!

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If your fic is 1000 words long, you can’t tag it slow burn. It’s not slow burn. That is a matchstick. And this is my personal bias here but if those motherfuckers you’re writing experience significant forward momentum in their relationship in under 5k words, then that is just a regular old burn. Slow burn should be borderline intolerable and a mistake to start reading at 2 in the morning.

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Listen, I completely understand why it was an issue for some people, but I still think that naming the original release of Deltarune “SURVEY_PROGRAM.exe” was really really funny

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Typecasting can be boring and sucky but also. Very funny.

I used to act in local theater for a while and I was type casted as The Funny Guy cause I was Really Good At It.

And then I ended my acting career as the mental asylum guy from beauty and the beast. Total swerve that I did nothing with.

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minecraft monsters are so fucking funny weve got

zombies which look like the default player character. this has no lore implicatjons

skeletons. inexplicably they carry bows.

spiders that are two metres wide and hiss like snakes (imagine how fucking terrifying this would be in real life)

walking bush that wants nothing more than to explode while standin next to you. also theyre afraid of cats

three metre tall guy with social anxiety so bad they try to kill you if you look at them. also they can teleport

really sad ghost

zombies 2: underwater edition

spiders again but now they poison you

fish that kills you with a mind beam

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Porcelain art by Nguyễn Duy Mạnh, 2021-22.

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i also think some of my hamlet takes/interpretations are somewhat inseparable from the fact that i read hamlet as at least fairly young, regardless of exactly how old he is, because the way the older characters in the play treat him resonates very deeply with my experience of being a mentally ill teenager. like, you know something is wrong, you know this thing you're experiencing (in hamlet's case, grief, but also the knowledge of the murder) is real and it's unimaginably painful and it might actually kill you, and yet not ONLY are the people around you telling you to just Be Normal and Get Over It, they are ALSO?? acting like everything is FINE?? they're walking around and living their lives like everything is perfectly normal and the same it's always been, and they're interacting with you like they expect you to live that way too, and at some point you inevitably hear the siren song of "just how much do i have to act out before they're FORCED to acknowledge it?" and then you put on an antic disposition and kill your situationship's dad, you know how it is.

this doesn't mean hamlet has to literally be a teenager. like, hell, you could have your thirtysomething hamlet and still lean into this reading, because it would be really compelling to highlight that a thirty-year-old hamlet is a fully grown adult being shoved into the role of a teenager/youth because the generation above him refuses to treat him like an adult or allow him autonomy. but i do think this is why hamlet as, like, Traditional Handsome Brooding Protagonist man almost always falls flat for me, because your average traditional handsome brooding protagonist man isn't being constantly infantilized, denied, ignored, told his emotions are meaningless, told he can't possibly be an authority on his own experience, etc. obviously some of this is stated in the text (particularly claudius's get-over-it speech), but in performance it falls flat for me if he's just stalking thirtyfiveishly around the castle as Some Guy Who Also Lives Here. no!!! they put that prince in the INCONVENIENT TEENAGER WE DON'T WANT TO DEAL WITH box and you're gonna ACT LIKE IT

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but what if i read one of your fanfics and then went to your ao3 accounts and read all of your fanfics and left a comment on every single chapter of every single one and you got spam emails from all of my kudos and comments and it made you smile, what then? what if i brighten your day with my words like you did mine, what then???

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let’s feel secondhand embarrassment with mama

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because sharks are smooth their skin reduces drag