splinteredthoughts

[splinteredthoughts]

when i was younger i had a really bad fear of capitalism when i was going to sleep so my older brother gave me a watch that he set to like 8 hours ahead so that it was always daytime on the watch when i was asleep and he told me it would confuse capitalism and it would think it was daytime and get scared of the sun and leave me alone

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6 days…

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Remember the tumblr cake incident with the vanilla extract? Let’s make a box cake. It is much harder to mess up a box cake.

[splinteredthoughts]

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To be loved is to be charged actually. Insert cash or select payment type

[splinteredthoughts]

You're about to close on your very own, suspiciously affordable and comfortable house. Just before you sign the contract, the realtor shows you the required legal disclosure: your new house is haunted by the type of presence you'll get from this spinner wheel.

Of course it is.

[splinteredthoughts]

[splinteredthoughts]

not evil anymore i want to be loved now

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I imagine some trans person or enby changing their name like.

-> Goes to Wiktionary.org -> Clicks "Random entry" -> My name is now ጭምብል

[splinteredthoughts]

Let’s be long with mama

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Having a boyfriend is literally free

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everything. cost money

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7 days…

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Every body hates me because my body is made up from mis matched corpse parts and i make scary noises.

[splinteredthoughts]