Tumgik
splintlock · 4 years
Text
Or this gem from the ending of Mortal Engines, by Philip Reeve:
“You aren't a hero and I'm not beautiful and we probably won't live happily ever after " she said. "But we're alive and together and we're going to be all right.”
I’ve realized that happy endings do little to comfort me. The world is too grim and the future too full with the promise of suffering. As a child I hated being lied to; I hated being told that everything would be okay when I knew that was objectively untrue. I can’t believe in characters that live “happily ever after” because no one ever has, and no one ever will. 
The endings I do take more comfort in tend to be restrained in their promises. A happy ending to me is less likely to say that everything turned out all right then it is to say that, whatever else happened, it was worth being part of. That the world wasn’t saved, but perhaps it was made a little better, and that would have to be enough for now.
2K notes · View notes
splintlock · 4 years
Photo
The Edge is just a giant lady... and Santaphrax, her head..
Tumblr media
Morning drawing. https://www.instagram.com/p/B_69OpFAH4x/?igshid=1vs120udk94nk
41 notes · View notes
splintlock · 7 years
Text
I always had really complex feelings about Stefan and Ditto’s relationship.  Like Ditto obviously loved Stefan a whole lot.  Fast forward almost ten years and I learn about queer platonic relationships and I’m like “ohh that’s what you call it”.  
2 notes · View notes
splintlock · 7 years
Photo
How is this so incredibly accurate though 😂
Tumblr media
My favorite book when I was 13 
5 notes · View notes
splintlock · 8 years
Text
Really craving some pazza rn
4 notes · View notes
splintlock · 9 years
Conversation
Looks like a cinnamon roll but could probably kill you: Lucien Bonn (Ditto)
Looks like they could kill you but is actually a cinnamon roll: Mona Vasquez
LOOKS LIKE A CINNAMON ROLL AND IS A CINNAMON ROLL: Cosmo Hill
LOOKS LIKE THEY COULD KILL YOU AND COULD ACTUALLY KILL YOU: Stefan Bashkir
Sinnamon roll: Francis "Ziplock" Murphy
11 notes · View notes
splintlock · 9 years
Text
The smallest amount of money Ireland on a banknote is FIVE euros :D Artemis is too classy to waste his bogeys on just ONE
Bet you five dollars that Artemis blows his nose with dollar bills
112 notes · View notes
splintlock · 9 years
Photo
Tumblr media Tumblr media
hello I’m genderbend trash
57 notes · View notes
splintlock · 9 years
Conversation
Opal: NOW GIVE ME ARTEMIS FOWL!!!
Random dude: Uh, which Artemis Fowl?
Opal: ...
Opal: NO! THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE!! OF COURSE, ARTEMIS, YOU CONSTANTLY HAVE TO ONE-UP ME! THE SECOND I CREATE A CLONE, YOU MAKE A FULLY FUNCTIONING ONE THAT CAN PROBABLY TALK! WELL-
Artemis: Wait. You hear there's two Artemis Fowls in a building and immediately assume I cloned myself?
Artemis: What'd you think Artemis Fowl 'the Second' meant??
Opal: I just assumed it was my minions reassuring me you were second. You know, that I was Opal the First, the most intelligent being in existence, and you were Artemis the Second, always trying to match me, but ultimately doomed to fail.
Artemis: That makes no sense
Opal: IT DOESN'T HAVE TO MAKE SENSE!!
464 notes · View notes
splintlock · 9 years
Text
If anyone wants this url they can message me! As long as they use it as their url and don’t hoard it recklessly like I have
1 note · View note
splintlock · 9 years
Conversation
Spiro: I love this guy. He's like the brother I never had.
Chips: I thought you had a brother
Spiro: Okay, he's like a brother I actually like.
49 notes · View notes
splintlock · 9 years
Text
Friend: What’s Artemis Fowl about?
Me: A twelve year old criminal mastermind who kidnaps a fairy named Holly Short and ransoms her off for the fairy gold.
What I mean: ITS ABOUT FRIENDSHIP AND LOVE AND BEING YOURSELF EVEN THO YOU MIGJT BE WEIRD AND DOING THE RIGHT THING EVEN THO IT MIGHT BE HARD AND JUST LOVE AND SADNESS AND EVIL AGAINST EVIL THO BY THE END OF THE SERIES ITS REALLY EVIL AGAINST GOOD BECAUSE THE PIXIES AND FAIRIES AND PEOPLE CHANGED HIM FOR BETTER AND HIS FATHER AND MOTHER LOVE HIM AND IT HAS A VERY STRONG MESSAGE AGAINST LYING LIKE SERIOUSLY ARTEMIS LIED AND GOT A SPLIT PERSONALITY AND A FEAR OF THE NUMBER FOUR IF THE MESSAGE IN THAT STORY ISNT “DONT LIE” THEN I DONT KNOW WHAT IS AND HE WAS A BROKEN BOY BEFORE BUT THE PEOPLE FIXED HIM ESPECIALLY HOLLY AND BUTLER IS A BIG TEDDY BEAR BY THE END OF THE SERIES HES LIKE A BIG TEDDY BEAR THAT CAN BREAK YOUR LEGS AND JULIET AND MYLES AND BECKETT AMD OH GOSH I LOVE THEM AND I ALWAYS WONDER WHO BUTLERS MOTHER IS LIKE WHO IS SHE?! AND WHERE THE DARVIT DID MINERVA PARIDIZO GO?!?! WHERE IS SHE COLFER WHERE IS SHEEEEEEEE?!?!
163 notes · View notes
splintlock · 9 years
Text
Roses are red, Violet Tserbleu -- silly C-cube, what color are you?
Tumblr media
Let’s put this thing to bed, Fowldom. Head to your shelf and pull out your copy of The Eternity Code.
Does your cover of the book look like this?
Tumblr media
If so, congratulations! You’ve got a copy that contains a blue cube. This was one of the first editions of this book, and as far as I know, it was North American only. Mine dates all the way back to the book’s publication in 2003, and I bought it in Canada.
What if your copy of the book had a cover like this?
Tumblr media
This was the first edition cover art in the UK, and – as far as I’ve been informed from a friend on the other side of the pond – inside this version, the cube is described as red to match it.  
What does this mean?
Long story short, it means we’re all right. As far as I can tell, later editions of the book swapped the cube’s color out interchangeably. This seems to be an arbitrary decision with red edging blue out slightly more often (especially in e-book versions of the novel), depending on which worked best with the cover art for that edition/made the most sense based on previous editions of the book in that region. I can’t find a copy of the graphic novel to see what they did there (EDIT: APPARENTLY IT WAS BLUE), but everybody can relax because there isn’t a “wrong” answer to this one. There’s no need to panic and go back to fix your fic, huzzah!
Both red and blue are canonically correct – everybody gets a gold star and a lollipop!
– Freud
240 notes · View notes
splintlock · 9 years
Text
On the Artemis Fowl fandom’s c cube dilemma - maybe you could find someone with a first edition Irish copy? That would probably the most accurate!
2 notes · View notes
splintlock · 9 years
Note
Fictional corporations have ruined my life almost as much as the real thing. I mean there's Hooli, Phonetix, Sweetums, Myishi, the Sheinhart Wig Comany, SadTech, and Wilford Industries.
I don’t know most of those xD but from the ones I know, it seems to be the law that any fictional corporation is evil. EVIIIIL. 
2 notes · View notes
splintlock · 9 years
Text
So in language we were doing book talks, where everyone read a book and was supposed to do a presentation about it. I read the Supernaturalist, and for my presentation I got points marked off for not critiquing it. 
I DIDN’T HAVE ANYTHING TO CRITIQUE. IT WAS REALLY GOOD.
Pffff. Teachers.
11 notes · View notes
splintlock · 9 years
Text
Lucien Bonn or Ditto appear in Eoin Colfer’s the Supernaturalist is what is known as a “Bartoli Baby” after the scientist who experimented on him and other people as babies.  While he is chronologically 28 he doesn’t look much older than 6.   Because of the experiments Ditto has the ability to take people’s pain, he hid this from the scientists because he didn’t want to live and die in a laboratory.  He developed that habit of repeating what people said back to them in order give him more time to think about what his reply should be and not let people know about his powers.  He is a trained EMT but is constantly ridiculed and made fun of by people, even the ones he is the closest too.  People ask him about if he has any “mutes” and Ditto has to corrects them saying he prefers “special talents”.  No matter what he does people will infantilize him.  
2 notes · View notes