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Dusted off an old camera I was ready to dispose of almost two years ago. Thank you to my college photography course for incentivizing me to use it and take shots like I've always wanted but was too lazy for. (Hah!)

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You'll know you're in the deeper part of the Southern Tagalog area like Quezon Province when you start hearing radio stations that offer political commentary, often in criticism of the current governance and its shortcomings (that there's, well, an abundance of). It feels a lot like workers' banter, both the content and the way they deliver. Most people are under the assumption that the countryside is only composed of folks in support of right-leaning politics than its urban counterpart but it really shouldn't come as a surprise when impoverished agrarian communities are among the first to call out the government's toxicity. They'd often play songs some of us refer to as "Sunday general cleaning music" in between talks--often a mix of '70s Filipino and American folk songs like Florante or Carpenters. I wish I could remember the specific radio station I currently have in mind.

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Photodump from my first week back at uni. Here's to better days.

02/10/23

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Spongkify: January 2025

Happy Chinese New Year! It's been a while since I've done this. No better time to jump back in than now.

The Garden - Ballet (Song)

Listening to this track then going back to their old stuff from haha era made it apparent how much their music has evolved over the years. I don't think their songs sound the same at all, but the new sounds they incorporate never feel out place. It helps that they're tapping into (what I assume are) adjacent genres/subcultures. I love love the techno direction with this one. Seems like fan reception on Reddit isn't too warm, though. There are criticisms about it that makes sense to me, but expecting good mixing from a punk band is not one of them.

Japanese Breakfast - Kokomo, IN (Song)

Spotify recommended this song to me on shuffle while I was on my Michelle Branch and Fearless era Taylor Swift binge last December. I was reaaaally into Clark Kent at the time, if that explains anything. Michelle Zauner's voice reminds me of Dolores O'Riordan's sometimes and I think that contributes to the '90s feel of the song. I love the strings as well--very Corrs-y. Just the sweetest frigging song ever.

Talking Heads - Houses in Motion (Song)

I recently saw a spectacular documentary film called "A Rustling of Leaves: Inside the Philippine Revolution" by Canadian filmmaker Nettie Wild about armed rebels during the Philippine Martial Law era. I had never heard this song before, but it played in the midst of the film and I knew that voice unmistakably belonged to David Byrne. The chanty topline melodies march (or in this case, walk, as he sings in the hook) along on what seems to be an endless uphill line, like a Sisyphean allegory to capitalism. And if there's anything you need to understand about Filipino militants, it's that all they want is to reject that kind of life.

Blood Orange - The Complete Knock (Song)

This. This is the sound of my 2025. I can make out the mood I want to establish this year with vague images this song evokes in me: disco balls, the ride home from a party, excessive bangles on my arm, scent of dark cherry hookah, red nails, red lipstick. Distinctively Dev Hynes in its production, it sounds directly taken from a time I was not fortunate enough to have been an adult for. This is the kind of nostalgia that makes me want to look forward, that makes me obsessed with the present and what's to come. In order to blog, it is imperative for me to get older.

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Whenever I find myself cringing while writing my little blog posts, I just try to reassure myself that my future's self gonna be thankful for it. Like, I barely remember any of the stuff I've posted before, lol. God, where would I be if I didn't have myself to remind me?

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I'm reading about how Israel, in the immediate aftermath of the 1948 Nakba, deliberately replaced olive trees and other indigenous flora with European plants. This ecological disaster, which is now proudly hailed under the banner of 'making the desert bloom,' was done to 'de-Arabize' the landscape, and to cover up - often with fast-growing European pine trees -the ruins of Palestinian villages that were destroyed by Zionists forces.

And I just need everyone to read this passage from Pappé, because the symbolism of what happened to those European pine trees in the desert speaks for itself:

The Ethnic Cleansing of Palestine, by Ilan Pappé (2006, p. 227-228.)

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Always thinking about death as an escape but there's still so many books I haven't read, beers I haven't drank, and sands I've yet to sink my toes in

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10/11/23

Pero seryoso, sobrang saya last Saturday. Everything went seamlessly during my commute. Thank the gods for the existence of the r/HowToGetTherePH subreddit, whose purpose is pretty self-explanatory (the internet isn't a cesspool of profit-hungry users and AI bots, after all). I often wonder how commuters in the Philippines used to fare back then under these hellish conditions without the use of internet, but it's essentially just the same principle of asking strangers for directions if you think about it???

From Imus, Cavite to Quezon City: I had a tricycle take me to the bus terminal, took a bus to the MRT, rode from Taft station to Araneta-Cubao, then walked to Cubao Expo for about 900 meters with a phone in hand, reading a step-by-step instruction how to get there written by a redditor (backbone of society, ika-nga). Then, I booked an Angkas to Mow's in Matalino.

'Di ba nga kasi ang motto ko, "wala akong pera, wala akong kasama, 'di 'ko alam ang papunta don, pero pupunta ako." So that's what I did. Charot. Sa mga ganitong sitwasyon lang malakas ang fighting spirit ko. 'pag may gala, laging may gana. Charot x2. Huy pero sa totoo lang, 'di naman ako basta-basta lumalarga nang walang plano. Sinisikap ko talaga munang pag-aralan 'yung ruta ko bago ako pumunta sa isang lugar, which honestly has been part of the fun for me (or have I successfully manipulated myself into thinking of the horrific Philippine public transportation system as a fun little challenge?).

This tweet pops into my head every time my friends ask me to go out with them 😭 As a non-NCR girlie, ganito talaga ang pagdadaanan mo kung gusto mo maka-gimik mga Metro Manila friends mo 😔 Sabi nila nung nakaraang taon, magkakaroon na raw ng extension ang MRT/LRT hanggang Cavite sa taong susunod na rin agad. But Filipino math means 1 year na ang nakalipas sa pangako = 'wag ka nang umasa.

Oh well, na-enjoy ko naman ang commute ko kahit palipat-lipat. I'm not romanticizing it or anything; alam ko naman pakiramdam ng mga taong nakikipagsapalaran mag-commute araw-araw. Masaya lang ako kasi tuwing umaalis ako (which is napakabihira), pakiramdam ko para akong ibon na nakalabas sa hawla.

Obligatory song insert:

(Wala namang sumama sa'kin magpunta sa Kyusi 😒)

📍Cubao Expo, Gen. Romulo Ave., Cubao, Quezon City

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10/11/23

photos of my friend during her performance, taken by me from my janky digicam :o)

Red Horse, Marlboro Black, pork siomai. did you know mango graham-flavored vape was a thing?

I went to my friend's first local gig last Saturday at Mow's and I had the best time of my life 🪩🦋🎆

Ang cute talaga ng venue. It was my first time there so I booked an Angkas to head there directly, then my Angkas rider and I spent a full five minutes looking for it because his GPS said that we've already arrived, but there were no signs of Mow's anywhere 😭 Tas ayun, asa baba pala kasi, naknampocha. Literal na underground. The inside looked like a low-ceiling garage haphazardly flipped into a music space (affectionate). I didn't expect it to be so intimate and unpretentious...? Everyone was just feeding off of each other's energy, it was nice. Compared to the previous gigs I've attended there was something during that night I hadn't observed in other shows but have always subconsciously been looking for: the support people had for artists they may or may not be already acquainted to, and the reverence they seemed to have for both performers on stage and fellow members of the audience's dedication to doing their own damn thing. It's refreshing, especially when I've spent too much time feeling othered that I've forgotten the absolute bliss of being surrounded by people who share your spirit. Like, you don't get it, mom. I long to be like the other girls!

If you like Phoebe Bridgers and other similar artists, check out Joolio's music on Spotify:

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I found this sticker in a grubby old box and stuck it on the back of my journal. I knew it was a Yoshitomo Nara artwork but I learned of its name just recently: "Sleepless Night Sitting". I thought it was funny and eerily apt. I am currently sitting on my study, grappling with insomnia...

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I'm a bit (actually quite) late to the party but Nick Z is back with that gritty guitar sound I've missed so dearly... also it's probably due to the title but all I can visualize while listening to this song is Lee Chang-Dong's "Burning" (2018).

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=vSffKUyr0lk&pp=ygUYYnVybmluZyB5ZWFoIHllYWggeWVhaHMg

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i love smoking in my balcony while there's fresh laundry... i know it seems counterproductive but i just like the mix of cigarette and fabric conditioner wafting through the air

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showers are the best liminal space... you're either and neither, outside and inside.... at the threshold of comfort and courage... all while being butt naked. Vulnerable

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29/08/23

4:59 pm

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god, my 20s so far have been painfully dull. i know i'm only 21, but that's besides the point. i need to be in a community. like i'd have no problem being a cynical disillusioned twenty-something as long as i can do it with other cynical disillusioned twenty-somethings...

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how soon is now - the smiths // dark smith's monologue from nowhere (1997) dir. gregg araki

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