squackimabird - Tumblr blog

squackimabird · 4 days

Text

ON YOUR SIDE

PAIRING: blue collar! abby anderson x reader

CW: comfort. mentions of stress, and lots of insecurities, sad Abby!

SUMMARY: Abby comes home after work, exhausted, worn out and feeling insecure for it.

DON'T BUY TLOU | PALESTINE MP PALESTINE LINKS | DAILY CLICK

TAGLIST | - abby taglist: @imdrowningindispair @rkivedpages

Entirely opposite to her silent exit this morning to not wake you up from your very comfort in betweenthe pillows and blankets and Abby's warmtheventually fading next to you, Abby returns quite late, at night along the crickets who started to chirp. You heard the ingeniere of your- her, shared car, but didn't really bothered on standing from the chair you've been sitting for half a second if not less. Households aren't as peaceful as you've expected

With a stomp, a huff, and the interruption of your dinner, she doesn't even bother on taking her jacket off- Slowly and lazily but very much desperately walking to you. She embraces you with her arms around you, slumping over you from behind like a heavy blanket. Clothes and face slightly covered with an old layer of building grime.

"Hey babe," she grunts, hugging you loosely around the neck, chin on your head moving down your shoulder and over her arm to press the smallest kiss on your cheek. You could be mad at her, you could, but... she's so pathetically tired and all she wants is to smoosh her face into you and be with you. "You look exhausted. nice day?" Her response comes out a soft hum, following you with her same closeness as you look for a clean plate to serve her dinner as well.

"Go sit on the couch baby, have some rest" The vibrations of her groan on your neck tickles you, elicting that smile its for her and her only. You turn around, leaving the smallest kiss on the corner of her lips who weakly mock that smile on your face.

She grumbles, but her muscles have no fight left even to hold her own body weight. Abby obliges to your directions, though she's slower to reach the couch than you're sure she used to be. She lays down face-first, her long legs dangling off the edge, and mumbles something into the pillows. It doesn't take any genius to know that she's completely wiped out.

You, on the other hand, not as exhausted but surerly tired ,make your way to the table once again to serve her plate and enough food for her to end perfectly full. The second you catch a glimpse of her body from the kitchen, there's that smile again; she'd never come home this exhausted, and as much as you know this means she'd been busy- which makes her happy, for you it's like your heart breaking a little. All she does for you.

With quiet steps you go back to her, making sure the plates are served, the glasses are full- with some ice for her- You stand next to her, your fingers caressing her shoulders over her jacket for her to help you take it off- which she obbeys, taking the arms first. Then you go back to her feet, undoing the lace of her boots and taking them off with ease. Abby lets out a groan, blabbering something you'd asume was a 'thanks' as usual. your attention makes her melt.

And the moment you're right next to her scrunched sleepy face, kneeling into the carpet you just cleaned today- your eyes met, as if speaking with your minds. "I love you," she murmurs, lifting her face just slightly, just to look at you. She reaches a hand out to pet your hair lazily. "You're my favorite."

"Yeah, I know," you smile back at her, a proud shrug. Not like she had anyone else to take her boots and her jacket off, let her lay in the couch you also just cleaned today, make her favorite dinner because at the absence of any message today you knew she had been busy and what else than receiving her with that dish she adored. "Need you to go eat something, then shower and finally go to sleep." You just look at each other in silence, her eyes blinking, clearly struggling to keep herself awake- for you, mostly.

"Can't I just skip the eating part?" She tries to bargain with you, a small smile on her face to try and pull your heartstrings. "I'm not hungry. I'm just tired."

"Eat something, please," you lay your head nex to hers, the couch feeling a bit too comfortable the second your breathing mingles and your hands on her face- who were originally cleaning some dirt from her face- end pressed against her cheek and under her own hand. Abby cuddles closer to you, her face into your hand, and closes her eyes. You can feel, even without her saying it, how much she craves your touch on her. She's just plain worn out.

"I promise once you're back on your feet you'll have enough strength, you can still make it." your voice a murmur to give you both the last strength to finish the day properly. To have a decent rest and put on your alarms for next day. To go bed an cuddle for the most lovely five seconds before you both get lost in sleep.

Abby huffs at that, a very 'I know you're right so I'm going to do what you say' kind of thing. But she reaches up with her hand and grabs your chin between her fingers, which you follow, with wide eyes open once again.

"You're going to shower with me then," she mutters, very matter-of-factly. "I will," you nod. "Just hurry, don't want you sleeping too late."

For a few more seconds, she lingers on the couch, gathering her last remaining ounces of energy before she pushes up into a seated position, then a standing one, and finally walks herself over to the table.

You open the taps, releasing a cascade of warm water that immediately fills the space with a comforting steam. You step into the shower first, letting the heat embrace you.

Abby follows soon after, shedding her clothes and stepping into the shower with you. The moment the water touches her skin, her eyes flutter shut, and she lets out a sigh of relief as the grime and exhaustion begin to wash away. She stands there, letting the water rejuvenate her sore muscles and stiff joints, her body slowly relaxing under the soothing stream.

You watch her, a smile playing on your lips at the sight of her finally finding some respite. Her tired face reflects the strain of the day, but also the pleasure of the warm water. Your eyes meet, and without a word, she moves closer, resting her head against your shoulder with a lazy sigh. She mumbles something against your skin, her arms wrapping around you for support.

"Mhm?" you murmur, encouraging her to repeat herself. The pads of your fingers gently run through her braid, undoing it as the water cleans away the dirt. She hums in satisfaction, the tension in her body melting away.

"I said," she grumbles more clearly, "I smell awful. I'm gross to touch right now, and I'm sorry about that." She closes her eyes, leaning more heavily into you. "Everything kinda hurts when it didn't before. I need to stop working so much... and I hate that."

"Oh, Abby, baby..." Your hands leave her hair to cup her face, her cheeks flushed from the warmth. "You're never gross," you insist, shaking your head. Her sleepy eyes and furrowed brows mirror your own concern. "I just want you to shower because I know it helps you relax, okay? Nothing else." You press a small kiss to her lips. "If you're too tired, you can always take a break. I don't want you overworking. You know I'd love to be the one going to work while you stay at home, yeah?"

Abby pouts at your kiss, clearly wanting more than just a quick peck, but she doesn't argue. Instead, she lets her eyes flutter shut and nods slowly, listening to you as she always does.

"I know... it's just, this is my job, it's what I'm good at, and it'd hurt my pride to give it up." She shakes her head, burying it in your shoulder.

You nod, understanding the weight of her words. "It's not worth it if you overdo yourself every day... you've been coming home exhausted this week." You press a kiss to her shoulder, the water cleaning away the final remnants of dirt while your fingers work through her hair, now growing damp.

A weary sigh escapes her. She knows you're right, but it's hard for her to shake the mindset that resting means weakness. She wraps her arms around your waist, leaning her full weight against you.

"I know..." she mumbles into your neck. "I just- I hate being tired at the end of the day. It makes me feel useless."

"You're never useless, baby," you reassure her, your fingers gently massaging shampoo into her scalp. She forgets everything else as your touch works its magic, her groans of pleasure filling the space. "Oh my god, that feels good..." she murmurs, her whole face a picture of bliss and relief. "You're so good to me."

"Shhh, relax, yeah?" Your heart melts at her praise and her vulnerable state.

Her breath comes out in a shuddering sigh. She nods obediently, closing her eyes and allowing the water and your fingers to work away the tension in her muscles. Soon, she's practically boneless, leaning her body into yours for support.

"Fuuuuck," she moans quietly under her breath. "You're so good to me." Every praise she utters is met with a tender kiss.

Once you’re done with her scalp, you run the shampoo through her hair, giving it all a thorough massage. You let the water rinse the soap from her hair, quickly washing your own as well.

All she can do is stand there and lean on you. She's far in a state of bliss from the combination of hot water and your tender touch, making quiet noises occasionally that could be interpreted as moans if you felt inclined to. There was no need of more for you to understand she was head over heels for you.

After a few more moments, she finally seems to find her voice. "Babe?" she mumbles into your shoulder.

"Yeah, baby?" you mutter, letting the water run to clean the shampoo off your hair. You grab the soap and washcloth, passing it gently over her shoulders first.

"I love you," she mutters. The words come out as easily as she can summon them, and there's a hint of vulnerability in them, in the way her body leans on yours and how she stays still for you. "I love you. You know that, right? I... I never want to disappoint you."

"I'm pretty much aware of that, yeah," you nod, your words accompanied by a small laugh. She's far too tired and sleepy to realize it's not her heart but her mind talking, the fear and stress and overstimulation of life mixing with her genuine care.

You have her turning around to clean her back now, the pads of your fingers hugging her arm to do so. "You could never disappoint me. Never."

She goes easy against your touch, leaning back in your direction as you get to her back. Once the muscles are nice and loose from your touch, she turns back around to face you again, though her eyes don't open.

She doesn't want to sound insecure or doubting, but she can't help the words that leave her mouth. "I feel like I'm lettin' you down by being... tired."

"Oh no, baby," you whisper, taking a deep breath before pressing a small kiss right on a spot on her shoulder where the water had cleaned all the soap. "Don't ever think that again, Abigail. I'm so proud of you, and it breaks my heart to see you exhausted like this, but... it makes you happy, and you enjoy it so much? And that's just admirable."

Everything - your sweet kisses, your soft touch, your kind words - all of it makes her feel a little more vulnerable and a little more in need of you. She lets out a sigh against your kiss and shudders faintly.

"I do," she mumbles against your skin. "I love it. But... it's killing me, babe. And I'm not used to feeling so weak."

"Yeah, I guessed," your words another effort to change the weight of her words, trying everything to give her any comfort. "But it's fine, baby, it'll pass. I promise."

This comfort, however, only reminds her that you're right. You are - she does feel weak, vulnerable. But she loves it. She's safe here, and she'll be each day she comes back from work. There's at least one hour at the end of the day with comfort, love, calm- warmth assured for her.

"Yeah, I know," Abby mutters, reaching a hand out to run through your hair. "But I still hate it. I hate feeling so dependent."

"Dependent?" Your hands move down to scrub at her arms, down her stomach, her lower back. You can feel her muscles taut and sensitive from exhaustion and tension. Abby nods faintly as you say the word. "Dependent. Vulnerable. Weak. I need you to wash me like a... baby right now. I hate being like this."

"There's nothing wrong with it," you shake your head, pressing another kiss against the skin of her shoulders. "I'll never expect you to come back home after work with all the energy- we're both working on this."

The exhaustion is still winning over, though, leaving her muscles slack and her mind weak as she tries to process what you're saying.

"I just hate feeling like this, is all," she says quietly. "I should be able to... like, take care of myself and wash my own body. I shouldn't need this much from you."

"But you do, and I'm so in love with it," you shrug. "You know, the idea of the day ending is horrible for me too because I feel like I never do enough for you, or myself?..." you pause, giving her enough time to interrupt. "You do plenty, babe- Probably too much."

You shake your head. "Anxiety eats me alive, and then I see you and I realize I get to take care of you, cook food we'll eat together... shower with you and clean the dirt off your body, massage you... kiss you, hug you. And then I think, I feel so at peace, we're both doing it just perfect," each word that brushed past your lips soft and soothing. Your hands finish cleaning her body, letting the water take the soap and dirt and sweat and anything else with it.

"Thank you for... being so damn good to me." She lets out a quiet sigh as the water starts to rinse the soap off of her body, her muscles still slack and relaxed just where you left them.

"Always," you murmur, your lips brushing hers in a tender kiss followed by small pecks. She responds with quiet, satisfied little moans, her mind too blank for conscious thoughts; she's relying solely on pure instinct and emotion at this point.

"Babe...." her mutter in between kisses makes you stop. It's the only word she can summon in her exhausted brain.

"Yeah?" you reply with a small nod, your hands moving to her cheeks, thumbs making small circles over the freckles adoring her pretty flushed cheeks.

It doesnt take long before Abby’s almost leaning into your hands as her eyes flutter shut again. She can't seem to form a single coherent thought, only able to respond in vague hums. Her own hands finally move up to your body as she leans in for more kisses, her body still lax from the combination of hot water and your gentle touch.

You smiled in between, her lips were sloppy and vague, and she couldn't stop but reminding you how much she's so grateful, how much she loves you each time the space between your bodies allowed her to speak.

It was such an intimate moment, so vulnerable.

It's almost like she's worshipping you with every little moan and sigh that leaves her mouth and the constant, almost desperate way she tries to respond to your kisses. There's a vulnerable honesty in her words, and also in her sounds and her body, as she clings to you like a lifeline. Every touch makes her shiver a bit, and she can barely speak as her brain is reduced to mush by your touch. "I love you," she whispers, like a mantra. "so much."

"Love you more," you whispered back.

504 notes · View notes

squackimabird · 4 days

Text

Marigold

𑁍 bestfriend!abby x reader

𑁍 Summary: Abby loved you in a way she believed you could never reciprocate. Per her friend's advice, she began to avoid you in hopes of healing her aching heart.

𑁍 CW: sfw, angst, a little bit of fluff, unrequited love, happy ending yippe, jealousy, friends to lovers, hurt/comfort, reader neither described as masc nor fem, no physical description of reader, fighting, swearing, violence, ellie mention, a lot of crying, pet names, y/n used once only.

𑁍 WC: 5.1k

𑁍 Daily click - Palestine masterpost - TLOU and israel

𑁍 divider creds

𑁍 Chapter 1 - Chapter 2

"Marigold," your best friend, Abby, called out to you. Marigold: a nickname which she had affectionately given to you a few years prior. You faintly smiled at the memory.

𑁍

Abby plucked the orange plant from the bush where it lay. She skimmed her fingers over its fiery petals, appreciating its intricate design with concentrated eyes.

"If you were a flower, you would be a marigold," she spoke solemnly, like she had thought of it many times before.

You smiled. "Why's that?"

“I read somewhere that marigolds are associated with the sun and represent the light that lives within a person," she mumbled shyly and shrugged. "You’re all bright and full of energy, I don't know.” She gave her own interpretation of its meaning.

“That’s how you see me?” Your heart swelled.

“Just a thought."

You sauntered over and picked the marigold from her hand, twirling and playing with its stem.

“Well," you started, "marigolds also represent cruelty, sorrow, and despaired love.”

She rolled her eyes. “Did you have to ruin it?”

You laughed hard at that as Abby grabbed the plant back into her hand. She held it softly and delicately, as though she truly saw you in the flower.

"Alright, forget that depressing version, you're a marigold."

𑁍

"What are you smiling at?" her voice pulled you out of your thoughts at an instance and made you jump slightly. She chuckled softly at that.

"Just thinking."

"Better be about me," she joked.

It was. "You wish."

She smiled as well, but it was not the smile you recognized. There was something different about her lately, something you couldn't quite decipher.

Her smile now held a hint of sadness beneath it; her demeanor had more than slightly changed around you. Lately, she had seemed to be more hesitant toward showing you affection; her mood would suddenly change to that of a dismal one. It made no sense to you. You would sit wondering after every encounter if you had done something to upset her. Did you disgust her?

No, her feelings about you were quite the opposite. Something far from friendly, and that disgusted her.

𑁍

"Hey, wanna help me pick out a film?" Manny placed a hand on your shoulder.

You sat on a soft cushion, surrounded by your friends, Abby, Manny, and Nora.

Well, mostly just Abby's friends. You really only ever hung out with them when Abby was.

Abby had been acting more quiet than usual, barely saying a word to you and avoiding your gaze whenever you tried to meet hers. It was strange. She would constantly ask to see you and sit by you at every opportunity, and yet still manage to act distant. You couldn't tell if she wanted to be around you or not.

You placed your hand over hers and tried to meet her eyes. "You okay, Abs?"

Again, she avoided your gaze. She slowly slid her hand away from yours, leaving your palm cold and desolate without her warm touch.

"I'm fine. Go help Manny," she answered blandly.

You tried to conceal how hurt you were. You didn't know why you hadn't confronted her yet. Maybe you were too scared to finally hear her admit what you already knew: that she was growing bored of you.

"Alright." your voice was small. Manny nodded toward the door, signaling you guys to go, and with that, you were out of the room.

Abby sighed and placed her head in her hands, rubbing her temples.

"She giving you a headache?" Nora chuckled, kneeling forward and placing her elbows on her knees.

"What?" Abby spoke harshly, though her anger was misplaced.

"I see the way you look at her. You can try to ignore it and pretend it's something else, but I see right through you."

"What the hell are you accusing me of?"

"Don't get all defensive. Abby, you are one of my closest friends, I've known you for years. You can't lie to me." She moved closer to Abby and her tone grew more stern, yet still quiet and reassuring. "Now, are you acting this way because you're genuinely bored of her, or is it something else and my suspicions are true?"

"And what exactly are your suspicions, Nora?" Abby chuckled humorlessly.

"You're in love with her."

Abby felt her heart drop and her blood begin to run cold.

"You're ridiculous." She scoffed and began digging her nails into the skin of her palms, a habit she recently picked up every time she got nervous around you.

"I'm right, aren't I? You're in love with her." Nora smiled as if she found this all amusing.

"I-"

"Don't lie to me, Abby," She interrupted, her voice getting slightly louder. "God, I thought you guys were just affectionate friends. Cuddling, giving each other cheesy flower nicknames, I mean, marigold? But no, nobody looks at their friends the way you look at her. They just don't do that."

Abby got up and walked away from Nora as if she were hit with a revolting smell. She stood by the other side of the couch and faced her friend.

"Keep your fucking voice down," she spoke in hushed anger. "This isn't any of your business, Nora. Why are you even analyzing our frienship that way? All you're doing is just making things weird for no fuckin' reason."

She was trying to keep her voice down and control her anger. She knew that her defensiveness probably wasn't doing much to help her right now. "You don't know shit about her and I so I suggest you mind your own business."

Nora got up and walked towards Abby. "I'm not attacking you, Abby. I just want you to finally admit your feelings so you stop torturing yourself and making her feel like shit."

"What?" She furrowed her brows at that. She felt hot all over. She felt sick.

"Of course, you haven't noticed because you avoid her gaze and refuse to look at her as if she was fuckin' Medusa, and don't try to deny it. You know it's true."

Abby's anger faded into something more akin to sadness by that. She never intended to hurt you, she was simply distancing herself to protect her own feelings. Knowing that has caused you to feel bad and doubt yourself hurt her to a great extent.

"Fuck." She felt herself coming close to tears. "You're right. I love her. God, I love her so much." Her voice broke. "I'm disgusting, Nora."

"Hey, don't say that." Nora's voice was stern. There were many times where she scolded the blonde for belittling herself.

"No, I am. She doesn't love me back. I know that for a fact." She felt as her throat began to close up, tears falling in crystal rivulets down her face. She turned her head away from Nora's suffocatingly pitiful gaze.

"I feel like a fucking creep. Always staring at her, reading her affection the wrong way, just thinking about her like that. She would hate me, Nora; she would feel so betrayed." She tried to swallow the lump in her throat and stop the tears from flowing.

"Sometimes I think of just avoiding her completely because I can't handle the way she makes me feel. It just hurts. It hurts too fucking much," she admitted.

It was something she had thought about many times, the pain of an unrequited love being far too much for that empty, hopeless heart of hers to bear. But she could never bring herself to do it.

"Then why don't you? If you believe that would make you feel better, why don't you end it?"

The simple thought of leaving you made her sick. "I can't. I know it's what is best for me, but I can't leave her. I have loved her for too long to be able to live without her."

"Loved her for too long to be able to live without her", Nora echoed back and scoffed. "That's a little dramatic, Abby, don't you think? Look, I know she means a lot to you and you mean a lot to her, but you can go on without her. You're not going to shrivel up and wither away if you let go of her to put your own feelings and well-being first.

"I know it's hard, but if you can't do it for yourself, do it for her. You're only going to hurt her more and more by ignoring her and pushing her away. Trust me, Abby, just end it and let her move on."

She was right. Abby knew she was. She knew that things were not going to get better and she would merely be hurting the both of you by being selfish and not letting you go. She cursed her feelings and tried to ignore them as she finally decided on what she needed to do.

She gave her answer with a simple nod of her head, but nothing about this was simple.

"Yeah? Alright, let's wipe those tears away before she and Manny come back."

And that is what she did. She sat back down and tried to regain her composure and appear normal, as if she hadn't just decided to let go of you.

The door opened as you appeared. She tried to ignore how the mere sight of you played with and tugged at her heartstrings; how it hurt an infinite times more now knowing that this might be one of the last times she sees you.

"Manny wanted to watch an anime, but I thought a slasher would be better. We got Bride of Chucky and Carrie. You guys can pick whichever one you want." You placed the films on the table.

"If only One Piece was an option." Manny sighed and sat back down.

Nora placed her palm on Abby's shoulder and gave her a look of both pity and encouragement, as if reminding her of what she needs to do.

Abby sighed and got up. She grabbed your bag and handed it to you as you stood bemused.

"Come on, I'm driving you home."

She may have been ending things, but she certainly did not intend to let you go home yourself.

Or maybe that is only what she was telling herself; maybe she just wanted to spend a few more moments with you. Even if she knew those moments would be spent with her being distant and you once again doubting yourself, it did not matter as long as she got to enjoy the privilege of being in your presence. In the end, she was always selfish.

"What? Weren't we just about to watch a film?" You were confused. You didn't know what you had done this time to upset Abby and it was killing you.

"Stop messing around and come sit back down, pendeja."

"Let them go, Manny," Nora sighed. "Have a good night guys." You noticed the look she gave Abby, almost the same look she gave her when you first walked back into the room. Now you are left wondering what they talked about while you and Manny were away. Had Nora said something to upset her?

Thoughts and questions plagued your mind as you made your way to Abby's car. You wished she would just speak to you; you wished you could know whether she still loved you or not.

You didn't want to keep wondering what you've done wrong. You wanted an answer and you were adamant on getting it.

Abby entered the car and sat herself in the driver's side. You could see clear as day the tension in her body. She looked sadder than you had ever witnessed before, and she had yet to say a word or look at you.

"Abby, stop." You stopped her fiddling with her keys by once again, putting your hand over hers. You could see the way she immediately melted into your touch, the tension visibly leaving her body before swiftly yanking her hand from yours as if you had burned her with a scorching flame, and that ignited a flame in you and you could not hold yourself back.

"God, Abby, what the fuck is your problem? Why do you keep acting like this?" You yelled, but she did not even do you the decency of looking back at you, instead simply placing her key into the ignition. But you could see it. You could see the way the tension rushed back into her body, her hand shaking from how hard she was clutching her keys.

"Abiga-"

"Drop it." She interrupted. Her tone was low. You could tell she was deliberately trying to keep her voice calm. For some reason, that just made your anger flare up.

"Drop it? Are you fucking kidding me? Abby, why don't you just tell me what I did wrong? Just tell me what the hell happened to us and why you seem so disgusted by me. Stop leaving me wonderi-"

"God damn it, y/n, I said drop it!" She yelled abruptly and punched the steering wheel. You stayed quiet, not knowing if you should keep going or simply drop it.

Abby was never this angry, at least not toward you. She had always been more calm and patient with you, even in your most difficult moments. You still didn't understand what you had done to deserve being on the receiving end of her anger.

"No marigold?" Your voice was small. Smaller than you wanted it to be. It was you who should be yelling, not her.

Abby's eyes softened. She felt her throat tighten up as tears threatened to fall, but she was not going to let them. She knew you did not deserve this. She wanted more than anything to just give up and drag you into her embrace. Hold you close and kiss away your tears. She was supposed to make you feel safe and happy, not be the cause of your sorrow.

The ride back to your house was tense and quiet, both of you trying not to break down into tears. Abby deliberately drove slow. Even though the car ride was painful, she did not want her last moment with you to end so soon. She did not want to leave you no matter how much staying in your presence hurt her, so she was going to drag it out for as long as she could, just as long as she got to sit with you, as long as she got to hear you breathing beside her; as long as you were together, she did not care.

Then came the hopeful moment where you arrived home. Hopeful for you, because to you, you would see her again the next day, and perhaps you could talk and all would be better. Dreadful for her, because she knew this was the last time she was going to see you.

She knew she needed to tell you that she was ending your friendship. It would be cruel to keep you in the dark and give you false hope. But she could not bring herself to. Maybe she did not want to admit it herself that things between you were coming to an end.

You left the car and shut the door without a word, not turning around to meet her gaze one last time.

And then she broke.

Hot tears swarmed down as she placed her palm tightly over her mouth despite there not being anybody around. She did not want to hear the pathetic sound of her own cries.

She wished things between you would have at least ended on slightly better terms. She wished she could have been able to hug you one last time; she wished she never had to let go.

Her cries turned into broken sobs as she dug her nails into her skin again in an attempt to shut herself up. She rested her head against the steering wheel as tears proceeded to fall.

It was cruel, simply cruel. Why must she be one condemned to love? Despaired love as you had said describing the marigold. That is all she felt. It tore visciously at her heart and polluted her soul.

Now she had lost you and all she felt was painful desolation. How she wished she could tear her heart free from you, her marigold.

𑁍

Came the next day and you still hadn't heard a word from Abby. She never showed to apologize or attempt to reconcile. You now found yourself pacing around your small town waiting to see her. You could have just went to her house, but you had a feeling you would not be so welcomed.

Who you saw, however, was not Abby, but her friend Nora. She sat on the worn-out bench across the stone road from you, seemingly lost in thought. If Abby was not willing to talk to you, perhaps Nora would.

You made your way toward her, determined to get an answer from her. "Hey, Nora."

She immediately recognized your voice and got up from her seat. She met your eyes and gave you an unexpected sympathetic look.

"Hey, how you holding up?" She placed a soft hand on your shoulder.

"Fine? I guess?" You didn't know why she looked so sympathetic for you. How awful was your appearance? Did you look ill? "Look, Abby has been avoiding me for... whatever reason. We had an awful fight after I tried confronting her last night. She refused to tell me what is going on, so I've been wondering if she had said anything to you."

Nora let go of your shoulder. She now looked irritated, and you wondered if perhaps you shouldn't have involved her in this.

"My God, how stupid is that girl?" She sighed dramatically.

"I'm sorry?"

"Look, dear, come sit down." She sat back down on the bench beside you and gestured for you to follow.

You began to hear your heart pound loudly in your ears. It was obvious now that Abby had said something to Nora. You began to fear the worst. You took a seat next to Nora as she turned to face you.

"Abby did speak to me." So she did say something to her after you and Manny left. "I don't know how to lay this on you easily, she was the one supposed to do it, but I guess she was too fuckin' scared or something." She cupped your hand between hers, only making you feel more nervous. "I am just going to tell you to stop trying to speak to her. It's better to move on now and try to forget about her."

The pounding in your ears had crossed deafening and you felt your blood run cold. "What? What the hell are you saying, Nora? She's my best friend, it isn't over." Your voice was shaking but you would not allow it to break. You were not going to cry in front of her.

"I'm sorry, but it is. It's not my place to tell you why, but just know, it's not your fault. Just don't try to talk to her. You need to leave her alone." Nora was then getting ready to leave as she feared she might say too much.

"What do you mean it's not my fault? Obviously I must've done something for her to leave me!" You tried to keep your voice steady, but you hated how vague she was being. It's one thing to lose a person you love, it's another thing not knowing why. How many people knew besides you? Was it just Nora Abby confided in or had there been more?

Nora apologized once again before she got up and left you with your thoughts. Guess she wasn't going to stay to comfort you.

It didn't matter what Nora said, there was no way you were not going to try to talk to Abby again. You were not going to allow this to happen and move on.

The walk to Abby's place was not long considering how small the town was. You pondered everything you were going to say to her on your way there before you began pounding on her door.

A few more knocks, and there she was, your best friend, attired in a sleeveless black shirt and sweatpants of that same color. She had her hair down and she looked as beautiful as ever. Oh, how you missed looking into her eyes.

All she said was your name. It was quiet, filled with both adoration and and sorrow. She knew what you were here for, but how lovely was it to see you again.

Before even answering, you pushed open the door wider and invited yourself in, now standing in her living room.

"You shouldn't be here." Abby sighed and shut the door behind her.

"Kick me out, then," you said harshly, but she made no move.

"Abby, Nora talked to me. Tell me what is going on," you demanded. Abby was taken aback. She was definitely having a talk with Nora after this.

"What did she tell you? She had no right-"

"No, Abby, you had no right! How could you just leave me like this without a word? Do I mean that little to you?" You intended for this to be calm, but your voice was only getting progressively louder. You knew soon there would be more tears as well.

"You can't just end our friendship without at least telling me why. It's like you're doing it on purpose, like you want to torture me by not letting me know what the fuck is going on or what I did to make you hate me like this."

"Don't say that." Her voice was low. She was leaning against the door and pinching the bridge of her nose. She was on the brink of tears herself, but she would not allow herself to break in front of you. Not when she caused this.

The fact that you think she hates you hurt her, but maybe that would make it easier for you to move on. All she wanted was to just go back in time and be able to hold you as she did before, all devoid of guilt.

But what she desired far more than that, was to be able to tell you she loved you and to hear you utter those words right back. If it were up to her, she would bound her hopeless soul to yours. Spend her days in this life loving every inch of you and have it be reciprocated.

But it was all impossible in her eyes. The laughable notion of you ever returning her love was nothing short of ludicrous. You would never love her the same way she loved you.

And that is why she knew she must let you go.

"Why not? You've given me no reason to think otherwise. You ask to see me just to ignore me. Why Abby? Just tell me what I've done. I can't keep worrying and wondering anymore."

She began to feel overwhelmed with all her thoughts running and your confrontation. You had the right know what was going on, she understood that, but still she could not bring herself to tell you, and that angered her even more. She was weak. You render her so.

"Have I not made it clear that I don't want to see you anymore?" She snapped before she can even realize. "We're over, get that through your skull. Stop trying to talk to me or reach out to my friends and just leave me alone. All you're doing is just embarrassing yourself!"

She knew she would never forgive herself for yelling at you like this. Maybe if you hated her, it would be easier for you to move on. For both of you. "I don't want to see you again." Lies. All lies.

She did her best to avoid your gaze. She knew that seeing the look on your face would only cause her to break once again.

Tears began to lightly cloud your vision. You caught your bottom lip in between your teeth and bit down on the tender piece of flesh to prevent yourself from crying. It was finally apparent to you that she did not care enough to talk to you and attempt to rectify what has destroyed your friendship.

As much as it hurt, you needed to force yourself to accept the fact that your best friend no longer wanted anything to do with you. And God, did it hurt.

You swallowed the lump in your throat and gave a slight nod.

"Fine." A simple answer, and you were out.

𑁍

Tedious days and sorrowful nights passed achingly slow, days turned into weeks, and you finally came to accept the undeniable and dreadful truth that your best friend won't be coming back. You couldn't deny how you would pathetically wait around for her to speak to you again; to apologize and to reassure you and to hold you.

Oh, how you wished to have her hold you again; to feel her touch and to hear her call you marigold, if only it were for a last time.

You've stopped debating whatever you might have done wrong after the first few weeks. None of the conclusions you'd ever come close to made the least bit of sense, and you knew trying to figure it out wouldn't bring her back.

You'd imagine how she must be now, how relieved she was to finally have you out of her life. How very little did you know.

"Dude's an idiot."

But you weren't so lonely anymore. Only three nights ago, your old friend decided to surprise you by paying you a few weeks visit from Seattle. Quite a convenient timing.

"Uh, who?" You had to admit, you didn’t pay a second of attention in the last thirty minutes to the film playing in front of you, which should be a cause for concern considering The Lord of the Rings was one of your favorite films.

Your friend, however, didn't take notice of how distracted you were, too engrossed in the film you guys watched together more times than you can count, her hazel eyes fixated on the screen.

"Aragorn. I mean, Arwen's hot and all, but how could a sane person not be willing to throw their whole life away for Éowyn? I wouldn't think twice, just sayin'."

You simply hummed in reply, your mind slowly drifting away again. That finally caught her attention.

"Hey." She paused the film and diverted her attention to you. She held your chin with a gentle touch in an attempt to make you meet her eyes, her scarred eyebrows furrowed in concern. "Is someone in there?" She teased.

"Yeah, I just got a little distracted. Sorry." That only made you feel more guilty. Your friend was here to see you while you were too busy thinking of the one you lost.

"Don't be sorry. Were you thinking about her?" She didn't wait for a response, she knew you were. "Come on, talk to me. Tell me how much of a bitch she is." She backed away to lean against the arm of the couch.

"Don't call her that."

She lazily threw her hands in the hair. "You're right, sorry. I won't call that cunt a bitch."

"Ellie!" You yelled with faux anger, trying to contain your laughter.

Despite how down you were these past few weeks, you were happy Ellie decided to come and see you. No matter how sad you were, she always knew how to put a smile on your face.

That's something she's always been good at. Her natural devilment and sarcasm being one of the first things you've noticed about her when you first met.

"There she is." She laughed with you, taking slight pride in the fact that she managed to make you smile in your days of gloom.

"It's just, fuck, I don't wanna believe that we're really over." You really didn't have much to say about it anymore, having already told her of all that happened a few days prior.

As soon as Ellie laid eyes on you again, she noticed the underlying hint melancholy on your face beneath the faux smile you presented. You attempted to reassure her it was nothing, but she knew you too well.

You'd spilled your broken heart out through the cracks Abby left while Ellie tried to mend it. She held you while you cried and cursed Abby for hours, wiping away your tears and promising to never abandon you the way Abby did.

"Dina's lucky to have you." You said, sniffing while Ellie was busy patting down your hair, trying to make you look slightly more presentable after the breakdown you just had.

"Damn right she is." She finally let go of your hair, now using her thumb to wipe away one last tear running down your damp cheek. "But you have me too."

Ellie's gaze was unfocused as she stared at the wall behind you, apparently lost in thought.

"Come on." She got up swiftly and grabbed your hand, pulling you up with her. "Let's get your mind off this, yeah?"

You groaned and dropped yourself right back onto the couch. "Let me wallow." You dragged out the last syllable dramatically. You grabbed a pillow and hugged it to your chest, as if you were shielding yourself.

"Don't be a baby. You've done enough of that," she said and harshly yanked the pillow from your grip. "Besides, she's not worth all that wallowing." She pulled her arm back and threw the pillow at your head. "Now get up."

"Ow!" you feigned shock as you rubbed the left side of your head. "That hurt!"

Ellie rolled her eyes at your childishness. "That's not even the side I hit you on, dumbass," she said lightheartedly before dragging you up.

You let out another exhausted groan as you were being pulled up. "What do you even wanna do?"

"Well there's TP-ing Abby's house, or we could also key her car, maybe kill her dog."

You gave her an unimpressed look as she went on.

"Or we could also go for some ice cream." She slapped her palms together.

You sighed and grabbed your purse off the counter. "I'm on board, let's go."

Ellie grabbed her signature grey-blue hoodie off the couch and slipped it on. You wondered when was the last time it was cleaned. "On board with which one?"

"Oh, shut up." You tried to conceal the hint of laughter in your voice. For some reason, you wanted to remain upset. You didn't want to try and move on, and that almost confused you more than Abby did "You wouldn't even be able to live with yourself if you hurt a dog."

"Yeah," she agreed and shrugged. "I'd probably just take it for myself. That'd still hurt her at least."

𑁍

"Now, marigold, what flower would I be?"

"Uhm..." you tried to put some thought into it. What kind of flower would Abby be?

"Nightingale," you concluded.

She furrowed her eyebrows. "I don't know much about that one. Why nightingale?"

"Nightingale, Abigail, it rhymes."

She rolled her eyes and chuckled, placing the marigold behind your ear. You looked like the most beautiful thing, she thought. "You really put a lot of thought into that, huh?"

𑁍

a/n: no joke I've had this rotting in my google docs since I was SIXTEEN and only decided to post it now after finding it again. I already started working on part two. I'll post it if this does good holy shit i'm nervous

463 notes · View notes

squackimabird · 5 days

Text

Die With A Smile

Outbreak Day with ex-girlfriend Abby?

a/n: idk what lady gaga and bruno put in this song fr. I should have been studying for an Ochem exam but here we are lol.

"Government officials met today to discuss the recent spikes in hospitalizations all across the globe over the past week, with talks of setting up government run quarantine zones in all major cities."

You perk up from your spot on the couch, trading the carton of ice cream in your hands for the TV remote. The local newswoman's voice fills the quiet space as the volume increases. You immediately recognize the hospital in the background.

"Hospital staff everywhere are overwhelmed with the influx of patients coming in with symptoms of this mysterious virus. For the time being it is highly recommended that any travel plans be postponed. International flights have started being cancelled, leaving hundred of people stranded. The CDC advises everyone to remain calm and continue to follow your city's imposed emergency curfews as they work towards finding the cause."

The face-mask you'd slathered on earlier hardens as she lists off the symptoms to look out for: sudden mood changes, muscle spasms, and slurred speech. You can't wrap your mind around a simple virus causing all this. Your stomach sinks in realization, this is definitely more serious than anybody was letting on.

Without even thinking you reach for your phone, quickly scrolling through your contact list until you land on the one person you've been avoiding. Abby, your ex girlfriend of six months. Your finger hovers over her number, wondering if this was worth breaking three months of no contact when loud screams come from the television. You look up just in time to see the blast of an explosion before the screen goes blank. Static stares back you.

Your finger mashes down on the touchscreen with zero hesitation as you run to the sink, hands desperately scrubbing at your face while you wait for her to answer. You don't even stop to consider you might be blocked.

Please pick up, please pick up, please.

"Hello?" Abby's panicked voice sounds through the phone.

"Oh my god Abs. Are you okay?" You ramble. "I just saw the news and I- there was an explosion."

"I had to home to change. " Her voice is shaky, turn signal clicks faintly in the background. "I was still close enough to- OH MY GOD!" The sound of tires screeching drown out Abby's curses. A loud boom sounds off outside, this one feels closer. "I'm....to...you" Is the last thing you hear before the line goes dead.

You throw the phone across the room, a string of curses leaving your mouth. The open window of your living room lets you hear the chaos outside before you can see it. Helicopters fly overhead and sirens sound off in the near distance. One by one, porch lights come on as your neighbors step out of their homes, confusion etched on their faces.

The sound of a door slamming open catches everyone's attention. Out of the corner of your eye you see the outlines of two people moving towards the road. Your neighbor, Claire, yells as her husband chases after her. His movements far too quick and erratic for someone his age.

Everyone watches in shock as he catches up to her, mouth attacking the side of her neck, effectively silencing her screams. The sight is gory. You stand frozen as some of the braver ones try to help, only to be met with a similar fate before he runs off into the middle of the road, searching for his next victim. Chaos quickly ensues, people run off back to their homes, garages pop open as some try to make a quick escape. You stagger back, knocking into the side table beside the couch. A picture frame falls over, shattering loudly on wood floor.

To your absolute horror, his head snaps to your window. For the first time, you're able to catch a glimpse of him up close. Gone was the sweet old man who would help you with yard work in those first few months after Abby moved out. The skin of his face is molted, almost as if something was eating away at it. Once sparkling blue eyes are completely glazed over. The bloodthirsty look on his face sends you reeling.

His mouth parts open letting out a loud screech, ready to lunge through the thin window screen when a familiar black truck slams into him. Abby hops out, mouth moving quickly as she shouts something at you. Between the ringing in your ears and the loud screams outside you don't register what she says. Your eyes blink rapidly, hoping the sight of your elderly neighbor under her front tire is just your imagination. In your peripheral you see the front door swing open, Abby's keychain hanging from the lock.

Strong hands grip you by the shoulders, shaking you out of your stupor. "Baby what are you doing? We have to go!"

Her woodsy scent envelopes you as she scoops you up and carries you out bridal style before tossing you in the passenger seat. Fingers clench into the leather as the truck reverses, disturbing the once perfect lawn. Your flowerbeds and mailbox becoming casualties in the process too.

You peel your eyes off the dash, looking out the window as she flies through residential neighborhoods. More and more people are starting to trickle out from the safety of their homes. Some running with only the clothes on their backs, others quickly shoving personal belongings in their vehicles.

Your voice is shaky when you finally speak up. "What's going on Abigail?"

She exhales heavily, looking exhausted. "I don't know."

"Are they all like that?"

Her jaw clenches. "The ones I've been treating are in the early stages of their symptoms, but beds are full. We've been told to turn people away to recover at home." She huffs. "I don't even wanna know how many of them are out there running around like that."

You hesitantly rub her shoulder in an attempt to comfort her, slowly pulling back when she tenses. Her throat clears and the skin of her knuckles turns white as she tightens her grip on the wheel.

"So what are we doing?"

You're shocked when she shrugs her shoulders. Abby always had a plan. You wrack your brain, trying to think of something.

"My parent's cabin up north! We could go there." You suggest. "Y'know until everything settles down."

She makes a sharp right, following the signs pointing her to the nearest on ramp. Her fist slams against the wheel when you pull up to the main highway just five minutes later. It seems like everyone had the same idea. Cars are honking, people are screaming. Nobody is moving. The thought of sitting in bumper to bumper traffic right now doesn't sound like a smart idea.

"My apartment's in the city." Abby suddenly states. "They were setting up barricades when I left for work this morning. Flyers talking about a quarantine zone."

She doesn't wait for your approval, sending the truck speeding towards her place. The closer you get to the city, the more erratic Abby's driving becomes. It's clear your little suburban bubble was late to the news of the outbreak. Downtown Seattle is absolute madness. Everywhere you look there's something happening. Those infected chase people up and down the streets, tackling the ones too slow to outrun them. Shops that you can remember being there your whole life are now ablaze.

You grip onto the handle above your head watching wide eyed as Abby plows through debris in the street. Bile rises in your throat when you realize she most likely driving over the dead bodies left behind.

The truck slows to a crawl. Concrete barricades were placed closer together here, making it impossible to get through. She silently curses at the fact that you're gonna have to leave the safety of the car and make the rest of the journey on foot. She grabs your face between her hand, forcing you to look her in the eye.

"Get ready to run baby."

Your hand is on the handle when something crashes into your door. A scream gets caught in your throat as the infected bangs on the glass of your window before setting it's sights on the blonde. She's halfway out of the truck when she gets tackled to the ground. Her hands shoot out using all her strength to keep it from attacking her

"Abby!"

She screams at you to run. Her arms are getting tired of holding this ridiculously strong freak back. Her hold is quickly slipping. Accepting her fate she screws her eyes shut bracing for the inevitable. A loud whack and she doesn't realize there's no longer any weight holding her down until your panicked voice is in her ear.

"Holy fuck! Are you okay?"

You crouch beside her, a bloody metal pipe in your hands. Keeping a watchful eye on the body laying just inches from hers. She slaps your hand away, wincing when she gets up on her own.

"Why would you do that?!" She whisper yells, unsure whether to kiss you for saving her or punching you for putting yourself in danger. "I told you to run!"

"I could never just leave you like that. You're welcome." You say through labored breaths. With a roll of her eyes she grabs your hand, sprinting in the direction of her building.

You're thankful it's a short run from the car to her place. The two of you able to successfully hide from any other infected. It doesn't take long for either of you to realize that their vision sucks.

The stairs up to her place are a feat of its own. You huff and puff up to the nineteenth floor, legs on fire when you finally walk through the door.

Her apartment is spotless, because of course it is. Floor to ceiling windows give you a clear view of what seems to be the end of the world.

"Oh my god." You stand in the middle of her room, watching in horror as explosions go off in my the distance. The ground beneath you shakes as they get closer and closer.

Abby shakes her head in disbelief clearly putting two and two together.

"It's so heavily populated here. They don't see the point in trying to separate the healthy from the infected." She whispers. Tears well in her eyes watching a plane purposefully fly into the ground off in the distance. The large blast setting fire to everything around it. There are more right behind it. "We're so fucked."

You watch as the fight leave her body. Your throat locks up, unable to scream at her. Wobbly legs pace back and forth in the small space trying to think of something that might work. Deep down you know it's pointless. There's no way you'd make it out of the city alive. Soft sobs wrack your body at the realization that this really is the end.

Her shoulders slump as she sits on the bed. She gnaws on her lower lip to keep from crying too loud. "Can I hold you?"

You nod, legs feeling like jelly. Abby reaches for you, pulling you up towards the headboard. The two of you lay beside each other breathing heavily with your hands intertwined. Tears stream down her face and onto the pillow under her head.

She reaches over and kisses you, her shaking hand plays with the baby hairs on the nape of your neck. "My biggest regret was letting you go."

You watch face as she continues talking, lips moving against yours. "I had to stop myself from driving past the house every single day." She laughs. "Would have sat outside your door until you took me back."

"I wish you would have." You admit through a watery smile.

"I never stopped loving you. I just want you to know that." She whispers, lips moving to kiss your temple.

"I should have never left." Your lips meet the skin of neck tasting the salty tears that have pooled there. "I love you too Abby. So much it hurts."

"I can't believe this is what it took for us to realize how stupid we were." She mumbles into your hair. Your face burrows into the crook of her neck. "I'm so sorry baby."

"I'm glad you came for me." You tell her, but you know she doesn't hear it.

The walls start shaking, sending everything tumbling to the floor. You're no longer able to hear anything over the sound of a loud engine approaching. Her arms tighten around you, the two of you curl into each other.

There's a jarring beeping in your ear just as it all goes black.

You shoot up in bed, heart in your throat. The sound of your heavy breathing almost drowns out the harsh beeping of your alarm. Reaching over you rip the cord from the wall sitting in silence for a moment while your heartbeat returns to normal.

The sun is shining outside, laughter from the kids across the street flows in through the small opening of your window. A lawnmower goes off in the distance.

Shaking hands fist the cool cotton of your sheets. The soft material grounding you. You look around the small room. Everything looks just as you left it. There's an empty bottle of wine on the dresser and you roll your eyes at yourself.

That explains it.

You're okay.

It was all a dream.

You jump out of bed, rushing to the bathroom before taking the stairs two at a time almost snapping an ankle. The entryway table shakes when you snatch the keys from on top of it. The warm August breeze that hits you when you walk outside makes you feel renewed.

The quiet neighborhood looks as it always does. A couple of people are out watering their lawns while some head out for church. Claire sits on her front porch drinking a cup of coffee, giving you a little wave when she spots you pulling out of your driveway and it's a miracle you don't burst into tears. Using muscle memory you quickly punch in the number you know by heart, waiting with bated breath for an answer. "Hello?"Your shoulders drop in relief at the sound of her voice. She's okay.

"Where are you?"

"At home," she pauses "why?"

"Perfect." You hang up before she can reply. Tossing the phone on the passenger seat you press your foot down on the gas.

You make it to Abby's apartment building in record time, parking haphazardly by the curb. There's a ninety nine percent chance you'll come back to a parking ticket stuck to your windshield but you don't care.

There's a moment on the elevator ride up to the nineteenth floor where you second guess yourself. Aware of how ridiculous you look in mix matched pajamas going to try and win your ex girlfriend back. You steel your nerves reminding yourself of how horrible those last few seconds of your nightmare were. If she kicks you out you can at least say you tried.

Abby answers the door looking mouth watering in a black tank top and gray shorts, her messy hair pulled back in a low bun. "Alright, how many traffic laws did you break on your way over here?"

"You don't wanna know." You pant, throwing yourself into her arms.

She catches you with a soft grunt, hesitating for a second before wrapping her arms around you. The familiar scent of pine engulfs you.

"Not that I'm not happy to see you, but what are you doing here?" Her teasing tone makes your face heat up. "I don't think random house visits on a Sunday at 8 AM fall under no contact." She quips.

"I love you!" The words are out before you can stop yourself. "I love you and I don't want to go another day without letting you know that walking away from you was one of the hardest things I've ever done. I regret it every single day."

Abby leans back against the door with her hands still on your hips. There's a tiny grin on her face watching you spill your guts, you’re too worked up to notice. "I know we're both at the peak of our careers. I know we're busy, and there will be days we don't even get to see each other, but I'm tired of living like this. I miss you."

You sniffle pathetically into her chest. "The world could end tomorrow and I don't want to regret never telling you how I felt." Thumbs wipe gently at your tears. "And if you don't feel the same way I underst- mmph!"

Her lips meet yours in a soft kiss, hands wandering under your shirt to caress the soft skin of your back. Neither of you make a move to deepen it, content to take it slow.

Abby pulls back first. Her eyes shine with unshed tears as she stares down at you. It suddenly hits you how much you've missed her. She brings her forehead to rest against yours.

"Took you long enough baby."

316 notes · View notes

squackimabird · 5 days

Text

Donation Boot

How firefighter Abby and Reader met

Hello hello it’s been a bit so sorry but I had this idea for a series of sorts following firefighter Abby x Reader through life. I have ideas for a couple more stories but if you have any suggestions leave them in my inbox for sure 🤍

Word Count: 1.1k

Warnings: none just fluff

You heard her key jingle in the lock from the kitchen. The metal on metal scratching noise was like music to your ears despite it being like nails on a chalkboard to others.

That noise meant your wife was finally home. All day you had been waiting for her to come home, missing her warm cuddles. She left for the station before you had even woken up.

Usually you stirred awake for the briefest of moments in those early hours when you heard the shower start, you made it a point to stay awake just long enough to say an I love you as you sent her off to do her work. You never knew when it might be your last so you didn’t chance it.

But last night the melatonin must have hit you extra hard because you didn’t even register Abby’s movements when she leaned down and pressed a warm kiss to your brow bone before clunking out of the room in her steel toed boots.

You regretted not waking up; no more melatonin for you.

The front door creaked open and you heard your dog’s collar jingle as she ran to greet your wife.

Abby must have been following the dogs lead to your presence in the kitchen because you heard her mutter, “Come on, where’s your momma?”

Your heart was instantly a mushy puddle on the tile floor following the comment. Just as you finished drying your hands the love of your life rounded the corner.

She was wearing her normal uniform. Not the big, bulky, fireproof suit but the fitted jeans and the navy blue t-shirt with the station’s logo over her breast.

You were such a sucker for a woman in uniform, it’s how she caught your attention in the first place. But what kept you around was that blinding smile she had plastered across her face that first day.

You and your friends decided to visit your local farmers market during second year of college. It was a fluke really, you weren’t even planning to go with them but after days of them whining that you could spare a couple of hours away from the text books and come have fun you agreed.

The local fire station had a booth set up collecting donations and the truck open for kids to climb in and take pictures.

One of your friends thought a fire fighter was hot and insisted on getting a picture with him by the truck (her very obvious way of flirting). You couldn’t blame her though because you had your eye on one of the younger trainees.

She was working the booth, tracking donation levels and you knew you would hate yourself for the rest of your life if you ignored your gut.

So, despite you being 19 and a broke college student you approached. They were collecting cash donations in one of the big fire suit boots.

You slipped the only cash you had on you into the dark depths of the boot, ten dollars, and were planning to make your way back to your friends, chickening out of talking to her, when all of the sudden you heard, “Hey, wait!”

You turned around and there she was. She had gotten up from her perch and made her way around the table. It was a bit jarring at first. She was tall, muscular, that tight ponytail made her look very sever, and here she was leaning over you with an expectant look.

“Yes?” you asked hesitantly.

“Don’t you want your coupons?” she asked suddenly realizing that she was close and backing up a step.

“Sorry?”

The confusion must have been written on your face because she immediately explained in a sort of rambily but very cute way, “When you donate you get a coupon to the local grocery store… and some other stores but honestly there all the old lady stores in the mall. The grocery ones the only one worth it.”

You just smiled softly at her over explanation. You expected her to be this over confident, maybe slightly douchy character from the way she approached before but really you could see her nerves peaking through now.

It only made you more attracted to her in all honesty.

“Oh right, yeah thanks.” you took the coupon sheet from her and after a moment of tense silence between the pair of you, you both went your separate ways.

It wasn’t until later that night when you went to cut out the grocery coupon and throw out the rest that you realized she had messily scribbled her name and number onto the think colorful price of paper.

You squealed, your roommate asked what was wrong and then you both quickly plotted on what you should text her.

It was simple really just a quick hey this is so n’ so, how are you?

Your phone only sat face down for a total of three minutes before you heard the chime of her reply and the rest is history.

Now seven years later your wife, the nervous fire fighter with the tight ponytail, was coming home to you. You would share a meal, a shower, a bed. It was the life you always wanted and all because you went to a farmers market on a random Sunday seven years ago.

That blinding smile that caught your attention all those years ago was plastered across her face now in the small kitchen of your small house.

Her setting her bag down on the island brings you out of your memory.

“Hey honey,” you greet, making your way to her.

“Hi baby, what were you thinking about just now?” she wraps her arms loosely around your waist.

“Hmm nothing much just your pretty smile,” she rolls her eyes, never one to take a compliment, “Speaking of which, that smile usually means you’re plotting something. What is it?”

She looks down at you and smiles, “You know me too well. I was plotting on what we are going to do over the next three days that I have off of work.”

That gets you excited. It’s not often that she gets time off of work. Sometimes you don’t even see her for days at a time when she has to sleep at the station. Three days off in a row is practically unheard of.

“Really?”

“Swear,” she kisses your forehead.

“Eek, so what were you planning?”

She chuckles and belts her arms just under your thighs, lifting you into the air, “Oh I think you know exactly what i have planned.”

Her voice turned seductive and husky. You squealed as you became level with her face. You both laughed into a soft kiss, one that was definitely going to lead to a forgotten dinner on the stove and a closed bedroom door.

627 notes · View notes

squackimabird · 5 days

Note

If my asks gets in, write the kiss under the rain after a mission gone wrong. Or after an argument. HSKAHSKJAHSKAHSJA thank you.

A/N: vee i see ur wanting a bit of angst tonight aoeifjawoj.

Post A/N: oh...oh this one got away from me....I would not say this is a paragraph blurb at all

++++++

Things were escalating quickly, and you honestly couldn’t handle it. You never did well with yelling, Nat knew this, but things had gotten heated and voices were getting louder.

“I don’t know!,” you replied loudly, your head spinning. The walls seemed to be closing in on you.

Natasha gave a frustrated sigh.

“What do you mean!? How could you NOT know!?” Answer me!” she demanded, her voice louder than you’d ever heard it.

And that was it. You couldn’t take anymore.

Stumbling backwards, your face a ghostly white, you tried to control your breathing. You were breathing too fast and starting to feel dizzy and you managed to get out half a word before turning quick on your heel and bolting out of the apartment and onto the street.

Unlucky for you, it was sleeting.

Back up in the apartment, Nat was grabbing her jacket, yours, and an umbrella. She’d never seen you so pale, or so panicked. She hadn’t meant to yell, she knew you didn’t do well with it, but both of your voices had been raised. She hadn’t meant to send you spiraling.

Once she’d thrown on her coat, she headed down after you, your coat and umbrella in hand.

You hadn’t gotten far. Your whole body felt numb from the cold, and you felt stiff, making it difficult to walk quickly.

“Y/N!”

You stopped at the call of your name, turning to see Natasha making her way towards you. She had an umbrella and a coat and she looked so much warmer than you currently felt.

“I’m sorry I ran out,” you apologized as a tear made its way down your cheek. She shook her head, focusing on the primary issue.

“Put this on,” she murmured, holding out your coat. You slid into it, shivering still. It wouldn’t do much considering that you were already soaked to the bone, but it was better. Turning to face her, she had you take the umbrella as she zipped up your jacket.

“We need to get you back inside.”

“I’m sorry,” you blurted out, ignoring her comment. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I didn’t know it was going to be a secret from you. Fury told me he’d tell you after I left. He told me it was an immediate mission, that I had no time to do anything but get on the jet and put on my suit. He promised he’d let you know, I made sure he’d promise,” you cried, tears flowing. Nat’s features softened, and her thumb brushed away some of your tears.

“He didn’t tell you,” you sobbed. Close to tears herself, Natasha pulled you close for a hug, whispering calming phrases in Russian as you cried. After a few minutes, you began to quiet, and she pulled back.

“Come on, we need to get you inside,” she murmured, brushing away more tears.

“Are you mad?” you asked, sniffling.

“At Fury? Absolutely. At you? No, lyubov moya, of course not. I’m sorry I yelled.”

She pressed a quick kiss to your forehead, easing your anxiety.

“Come on.” She took one of your hands and began leading you back towards the apartment, ensuring the umbrella was covering you well.

“You’ll need a warm shower and a fresh set of clothes,” Natasha observed.

“I’m fine.”

“It’s freezing rain out here. You will shower and put on some warm, dry clothes.”

You couldn’t help but let your lips twitch upwards at her bossiness. Natasha Romanoff didn’t show that she cared about much, so your heart pounded in your chest whenever she showed how much she cared for you.

“What?” she questioned, noticing your little smile. You blushed.

“You care about me,” you answered simply. Her brows furrowed.

“Of course I do. Did you think I didn’t?”

“No,” you shook your head with a chuckle. “But you don’t often show a lot of emotions, hun. It means a lot that you show them with me.”

Her eyes widened, a blush creeping into her own cheeks.

“Well, I really like you.”

“I love you,” you replied, before you could stop yourself. Natasha stopped in her tracks, pulling you back before you could get rained on any more. Her eyes searched your face, for anything other than the truth. Pure love and adoration radiated from you, making her feel safer than she ever had, allowing her to respond with complete honesty.

“I love you too.”

243 notes · View notes

squackimabird · 5 days

Note

Nat and reader getting into a heated argument about where they are in the relationship and reader breaks up with Nat, leaving Nat to decide what she wants (getting over her trauma etc) and coming back to reader

LOVING THE CRAZINESS ALREADY

A/N: THIS IS LATE BUT IM DRINKING A BEER AT 230AM AFTER WORK SO DOES IT COUNT AS DWN?????

Promoting: Nothing currently, I took a break this week from fanfic night as I am a tired soul

++++++

She wouldn't define it. Your relationship.

For a few months, you'd understood. Your lifestyles were beyond complicated and unpredictable. And making a relationship official could be dangerous in your line of work. But then you'd seen Steve with Sharon and Tony with Pepper and you couldn't understand why you had to be different.

And so you'd asked.

"Natasha, what are we?"

"We are in bed, detka, together. We care about each other. Isn't that enough?"

You'd valued her, loved her, so much that it was.

And maybe you should have been more forthcoming with what you wanted. But in all other aspects, she was unbelievably right for you.

Natasha Romanoff understood you better than anyone else on the planet, or the universe for that matter, including yourself. She knew what you wanted before you asked, what drove you mad, what you cared most about. She was protective of you, soothed you when you were anxious, and made you all around a better person. Except for that one little part about her not calling you hers.

Eight months in, you simply were unsure what to do. All you knew was that you couldn't keep doing this.

"What's the matter, lyubov moya?" Natasha's gentle voice asked, pulling you from your thoughts as you donned an earring at the vanity.

"Nothing," you replied, forcing a smile. Her eyes narrowed, but she didn't say anything. You weren't quite sure what she was thinking, and you were beginning to not care.

The two of you finished getting ready and headed out to dinner. It was a windy, stormy night in October- what normally would have elevated your mood. The restaurant was one of your favorites, but you were hardly hungry. It didn't matter that her hand was on your back, a move of protection and comfort you normally loved. It didn't matter that several people on the sidewalk had commented that you were a lovely couple. Because you weren't, not to Nat.

Upon entering, you weren't quite sure what had happened. You weren't sure what on earth prompted her to say it, or perhaps it was the universe's way of pushing you over the edge.

"My friend and I have a reserv-"

She didn't even get to finish her sentence, you were out the door, the feeling of her hand on your back simply a phantom sensation. The timing was perfect, really, thunder boomed loudly and lightning lit up the sky. You'd barely made it ten feet before it started pouring.

"Y/N!"

You kept walking. You couldn't stop, you wouldn't stop.

"Y/N, please- I-"

You turned, seething, hair plastered to your skin, dress clinging to you like a second skin. "You what?" you breathed, chest heaving.

"I- I didn't mean to-"

"Didn't mean to? Didn't mean to what- tell them we're not a couple? Because we certainly aren't, you have made that abundantly clear. Clear for the last eight goddamn months, Natasha! I won't do it anymore!"

You stopped for a breath, pure terror and regret on the woman's face standing across from you.

"Please," she begged quietly. You'd never heard her sound quite so... small. But whatever was holding her back from you, it wasn't enough.

"We're done. Whatever the hell we even are, whatever it is we've been doing, it's done."

++++++

You hadn't really seen her, funnily enough. Perhaps the timing of it all was another gift from the universe. Natasha had disappeared after the signing of the Accords and you had ended up breaking some of your teammates out of the Raft.

When she showed up at your door in the compound one evening, red hair redder than the last time you'd seen it, you weren't surprised. But you were certainly guarded.

"I love you. I'm not standing here to get you back, I wouldn't put you in that position," she began, eyes shining with truth, confidence, and adoration. "I was terrified of a relationship, of you. I thought I was weak, to want something so... human. I was scared to love you, scared of not being right for you, of being a danger to you. I could not have been more wrong. Tearing the Red Room down, facing my past, it made me realize that there is a strength t all of those things. I never stopped loving you. I never stopped wanting everything with you. And I am sorry." With that final declaration, she turned to leave.

And goddamn it, you simply couldn't let her.

"You are right for me," you said softly, stopping her in her tracks. You'd never associate her with anything other than graceful, yet the way she halted was almost too human for her. "You always were, Natasha."

She stood, staring at you in disbelief and confusion, mixed with a bit of hope.

"You can start by taking me out to dinner," you chuckled. She let that familiar perfect smirk grace her lips, before she grew serious.

"Even if we take it slow, know that you are mine. I have no intention of ever letting anyone believe otherwise."

226 notes · View notes

squackimabird · 7 days

Photo

1M notes · View notes

squackimabird · 8 days

Text

you'd have to stop the world just to stop the feeling!!

48K notes · View notes

squackimabird · 8 days

Text

so american

wanda maximoff x fem!reader

summary: in which you struggle with the aftermath of your relationship with natasha, but wanda never fails to help you through it all.

or, the one based off so american by olivia rodrigo.

word count: 11,499

tags: fluff, angst, natasha being a bitch in one scene, this was supposed to be completely fluffy but then i added angst and ended up loving it, they're mostly just two idiots in love, reader gets insecure a couple times, wanda's so in love, everyone say thank you to olivia rodrigo for fuelling all my fic ideas

part one: enough for you

“Why do Americans drive on the right side of the road,” Wanda grumbles as she sits behind the wheel, driving the two of you to your favorite road trip destination, your family’s cottage in Nevada.

You laugh, kissing her cheek. “Baby, Sokovians do too.”

“Well, yeah, but that doesn’t mean I’m happy about it,” Wanda mutters, cursing under her breath when another right-hand turn takes her by surprise.

“I think that’s what you get for getting your license in the UK, Wanda,” you tease. “Now you’re all grumpy, and angry, and that milkshake we shared a couple of hours ago definitely didn’t help–”

Wanda gives you a look and you give a cheeky smile in return.

“For the record,” she replies, looking at the road once more. “I didn’t have a choice. I was on a recon mission with Steve, and he told me I couldn’t rely on my powers for transportation all the time.”

“Well, I think your powers are hot, though.”

Wanda laughs. “Thanks, detka.”

“Jesus, I’m cold,” you mutter as goosebumps start to form on your skin.

Wanda immediately turns down the AC in the car, and you reach into the back for the first piece of outerwear you can find. As you pull your hand back to your body, you realize it’s Wanda’s navy blue hoodie, your favorite piece of clothing of hers. Smiling, you pull it over your head, comforted by the scent of her that enraptures your senses.

Sighing in satisfaction, you lean your head back into your chair, feeling so much more content than you did a year ago.

Wanda notices you out of the corner of her eye, and softly says, “You look so pretty wearing my clothes.”

You smile at her, and Wanda takes your hand in return, as she keeps her other on the wheel, intertwining your fingers together.

“You’re so warm,” you whisper, feeling so so loved.

Wanda squeezes your hand tighter.

***

Wanda’s laugh is the most beautiful sound in the world, you realized the first day you met her.

You had been sitting and talking the entire morning, Wanda’s smile awakening the constant butterflies in your stomach and setting your heart alive.

“So,” Wanda rests her chin onto her hand and leans onto her elbow. “What profession are you in?”

You smile, “I’m an oncologist, but I much prefer the research aspect of things. I find it thrilling.”

Wanda scrunches her nose. “You find spending countless hours in front of your computer and in a lab thrilling?”

You laugh. “Sure do. What about you? What profession are you in?”

“I’m an Avenger, but I work part-time as an English professor at a local university,” Wanda replies, and before you can compliment her on her work as a superhero, she asks another question, still curious about your job. “Why oncology, though?” she asks with her shiny eyes ever so inquisitive.

“My mom died of cancer when I was 8,” you look into your coffee cup, staring at the liquid as you pop the lid off. “You can probably figure out the rest,” you give a small smile.

Wanda frowns. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be, it was a long time ago. I’ve made peace with it, honestly.”

“That’s really amazing though,” Wanda says, struck by how beautiful you were on the outside and inside.

You blush. “Thanks.” Feeling overwhelmed by everything Wanda was making you feel you decide to tell a joke. “Hey, what do you call an apology written in dots and dashes?”

Wanda tilts her head curiously. “What?”

“Re-morse code,” you give a small smile.

Wanda takes a second to process it, but once she does, a huge grin makes its way on her face and she’s laughing.

She’s laughing, and you want to keep hearing it for the rest of your life.

Once she’s done, she looks at you with a shake of her head. “That was awful.”

You shrug. “Made you laugh, though.”

“You did,” Wanda nods. “And something tells me you’ll keep making me laugh.”

You blush, people had never really found you funny. Nat didn’t especially.

But here Wanda was, with her comforting smile that made you feel like you were on fire, and her soft green eyes that made you feel safe, cared for, and loved already.

Who made you feel like you were funny for the first time in your life.

***

“Here we are,” Wanda says, stepping out of the car and slamming the door shut.

You sigh contently, so incredibly happy compared to the dark place you were at two years ago. Sometimes, you still felt the weight of how unloved you had felt. Of how you never felt good enough, never felt worthy of someone caring for you. And every time you ran back into your thoughts, Wanda was there to pull you out of your head and reassure you that you deserved the world. Telling you that she would do her best to give it to you.

It all felt surreal. Gently, you hear Wanda open the car door to the passenger side. The simple action made your heart flutter. “Ready, detka?” she says, smiling at you.

Nodding, you exit the car, planting a kiss on her lips before she shuts the door.

Putting her sunglasses on, she comments, “You know, you’re pretty American for having a cottage. With the beach, and everything.”

“Is that supposed to be a compliment?” you ask.

“Yep, because you’re an adorable American,” she smiles, kissing you quickly.

It wasn’t fair of her, to make you feel this much.

***

Wanda’s on a mission in Russia, and you miss her desperately. You found yourself struggling whenever you were alone, still grappling with the feelings of whether you were enough from two years ago. Your rock was all the way on another continent, too far to reassure you of the constant echoes of awful thoughts that rang in your head.

“Can I go with you?” you had asked as you sat on Wanda’s bed while she packed the night before with you.

Wanda kisses your lips. “As much as I would love that, detka, I want you to be safe,” she rubs your arm.

“I’m gonna miss you,” you say quietly.

Wanda frowns. “I know, baby, I’m gonna miss you too. So much.”

You nod, and as you sit quietly on her bed, Wanda can tell your head is somewhere else.

Grabbing your hand softly, Wanda sits in front of you, staring into your eyes. “What’s going on?”

“Nothing,” you look away.

Kissing your forehead gently, Wanda pulls back with encouraging and comforting eyes. “I love you,” she says softly.

And it’s all you need, because it’s the most delicate, soft, unspoken gesture you’ve ever heard. One that screams that she cares, that she won’t leave you, that she won’t hurt you, and that she truly honestly loves you with all her heart and you can feel it radiating off of her.

Wanda Maximoff made you feel like you were the most important person in the world to her.

Little did you know, you truly were, and to confirm it Wanda had a ring in her back pocket which she bought a week after she started dating you with her at all times.

“I love you too,” you reply, giving her a small smile. “I just want to be anywhere you are,” you confess as you start blushing timidly.

“Oh? That’s cute,” Wanda teases.

“Shut up,” you groan, hiding your face in the crook of her neck.

Wanda laughs, kissing your temple. “I do too, detka.”

“Really?” you pull your head away to meet her gaze.

“Of course,” Wanda smiles. “Being with you is my favorite thing in the world. Why wouldn’t I want it all the time?”

You blush furiously. “You know, if you keep this up–”

“What?” she asks gently.

I might just marry you. You think, oblivious to the fact that Wanda’s already had the thought countless times.

You shake your head with a smile.

***

When Wanda’s on her mission, she buys a small chocolate chip cookie keychain that reminds her of you. They were your favorite food, and every Sunday, Wanda made sure to bake a fresh batch for the week so you never had to run out of one of your favorite things.

And when she gets back, only seconds after she puts her bags down she feels her arms fill with you and her heart becomes so much bigger than it was before. She kisses you deeply, smiling to herself at the person she loves in her arms.

Whispering against your lips, she pulls the keychain out of her left back pocket, her right one carrying the ring she’s planning on proposing to you with. “I bought this for you,” she tells you, letting it dangle off of her index finger by the silver ring that she later finds out gets attached to the zipper of your favorite backpack.

And God, Wanda would be a fool not to be eternally charmed by the way your eyes light up with joy once you see it, the happy tears in your eyes making her want to hug you so tightly and never ever let go. “I love it,” you reply, grabbing it softly as if it’s made of the most delicate china. “I love you,” you kiss her lips.

Wanda shakes her head. “So American,” she teases, referring to your love for chocolate chip cookies.

“Yeah, but I’m your American,” you reply cheekily.

Wanda nods, kissing you once more. “My beautiful, perfect, so American girlfriend.”

Wanda feels her heart skip a beat when you blush all over.

***

You’re crying. You’re crying because you saw Natasha for the first time since the two of you broke up, and her words don’t hurt any less than they did when the two of you were dating. Natasha had just seen you and Wanda, wrapped up in each other’s arms, admiring one another at Tony’s enormous birthday party.

Once Wanda had left to go let Pietro in, who had run back all the way from Australia where he was taking a break from the superhero life, Natasha had come up to you. Ready to poison your world with her venomous tongue.

“You know, she’ll get sick of you,” Natasha had snapped you out of your thoughts as you stared at the door where Wanda had just left.

“What?” you reply as you turn to face her on the leather stool. Her calculating and judging eyes causing you to gulp. Even now, you still felt her hurtful words ring the bells of your insecurities back to life.

“She’ll get sick of you,” Nat repeats. “I mean, why do you think we broke up? You’re boring, you’re rude, and you’re obsessive. All my friends told me about how you couldn’t shut up about me when we were together. I mean, clingy much?”

“I didn’t mean–” you try.

Nat scoffs. “Yeah, whatever.” She takes a sip of her drink.

You feel the need to apologize, for you never meant to make Nat feel suffocated that way, when suddenly a brunette witch is making her way over to you. And she looks like she’s about to rain down hellfire on Natasha.

“Excuse me.” Wanda’s eyes narrow as she wraps an arm around your shoulder. “I believe she’s my girlfriend, Natasha.”

“Just warning her.” Natasha shrugs. “And you.”

You stare at the spot on your lap, deciding on whether or not to blink away the tears in your eyes or cry, because ever since you dated Natasha you had learned how to cry silently so you wouldn’t bother her.

Wanda raises an eyebrow, and her accent comes out thicker than ever before, “And what would you be warning me about?”

“Of her,” Natasha shrugs.

Wanda’s eyes go red before she calms down, and her arm around you tightens in the most gentle way somehow. “I’ll give you five seconds to leave us alone.”

“You’re gonna regret this, Wanda,” Natasha says.

“The only person with regret is you, for never treating her the way she deserves to be treated,” Wanda replies sharply.

Natasha scoffs, turning around. “As if she deserves anything.”

Suddenly, Natasha’s glass explodes in her hands, ‘causing everyone in the party to look her way. You can tell it was Wanda based on the way you saw a spark of red flash in her hands briefly.

Natasha turns and narrows her eyes venomously at Wanda, before stalking off to go clean the cut that’s very visible on her hand.

You’re still staring at the same spot on your lap when Wanda turns to face you, cupping your cheeks in her hands as she looks at you.

“Are you alright, milaya?” she asks, the heartbroken expression on your face making her heart drop to her stomach. You didn’t deserve this. You didn’t deserve this at all.

“Do you hate me?” you whisper brokenly, the tears finally escaping your eyes as you can no longer keep them at bay.

“No, baby, no,” Wanda wipes the tears running down your cheeks with her thumbs. “I could never, ever, hate you.”

“What did I do to make her hate me so much? What’s wrong with me?” you ask with a sob.

“Nothing,” Wanda feels her own tears build up behind her eyes. “Nothing is wrong with you, baby, you’re the most amazing human being I know.”

And Wanda’s heart breaks even more, as you cry more and more, silently.

Somehow, it’s even more heartbreaking than if you were to ever make a sound.

You cry even more as you replay tonight’s events in your head, still in the navy blue dress Wanda had picked for you for the party, telling you how pretty you looked once she saw you in it. You felt so wrong, like you didn’t deserve any of what Wanda was giving you, like she would get sick of you the same way Natasha did. Because maybe Natasha was right, maybe you didn’t deserve anything. Because if you did deserve anything, then why would Natasha treat you so awfully, why would your mom have left you as a child and why would your brother leave you too, so overridden with the pain of the lack of your mom that he couldn’t bear to watch you, leaving you with your abusive father who reeked of alcohol every night.

The thoughts sicken you, because your mother never ever meant to have cancer. And it wasn’t your brother’s fault that he couldn’t handle a life without your beautiful, loving mother in it. And it wasn’t your father’s fault either that he had a drinking problem.

Maybe it was all your fault.

You hear the knock on your door, and you can tell by the pattern that it’s Wanda. “Detka, can I come in?” she says gently from the other side of the door.

Quietly, you get up from your bed, turning the doorknob, and opening the door. The motions feel unnatural to you, like you’re some stranger who’s been playing the role of having a loving girlfriend, but your world was shattered earlier and you don’t know who you are anymore. You don’t know if you deserve anything anymore.

“Oh, baby,” Wanda says heartbroken as she wraps you in a tight hug.

This was your fault, seeing the sad look in her eyes you realize that you hurt Wanda.

You hurt the one person in your life whom you never meant to hurt.

It was all your fault.

You hug her back, because maybe if you hug her back it would make her feel better and it would be less of your fault.

Wanda tightens her grip on you, wanting to convey how much she loves you. Wanting to convey how much you didn’t deserve any of this. Wanting to wordlessly tell you that despite all the pain you’ve been through you handle it with so much grace, and you’re the most beautiful person Wanda’s ever met in her life.

But Wanda can tell that you’re not okay, that your mind is somewhere else–

Then she hears you sob. And it’s the first sound of a cry that Wanda’s ever heard from you.

And Wanda can feel the tears fall onto her shoulder and she holds you tighter, she holds you tighter and tighter until Natasha’s hurtful words are overrun by Wanda’s overwhelming love she feels for you.

Wanda can only hope you understand what she’s saying.

And once you’re done crying at 3 in the morning, she keeps hoping.

***

Wanda’s worried about you, ever since Nat had spoken to you at the party you had been more quiet. More reserved. Like your mind was somewhere else.

“Baby?” she asks one morning when you’re both alone in the compound and Wanda wants to cook you breakfast.

“Yeah?” you ask, staring absentmindedly at the sitcom running on the TV.

You were ecstatic when the first day Wanda met you, you had both found out about your shared love for sitcoms.

But Wanda watches you know, the complete lack of interest in Malcolm in the Middle worrying her because it was your favorite sitcom of them all and typically you would have a completely enraptured look in your eye. The same one Wanda was lucky enough to receive from you.

Frowning, Wanda pauses in her cooking, turning the heat off the stove and coming over to meet you on the couch.

You don’t register when Wanda sits down next to you, still lost in your thoughts as she gently grabs your hand.

“What’s going on?” she asks softly, running her thumb over the back of your hand.

“Nothing,” you reply, sitting up slightly.

“Detka, I know you’re not okay. And you don’t have to tell me anything you don’t want to, but just know that I care about you, ok?” Wanda kisses your forehead gently. “I’m always here if you need me.”

You frown, feeling so guilty that you were making Wanda worried about you. You couldn’t pretend to be okay, and now you’ve hurt her even more. How long until she gets sick of you? How long until she gets sick of the feelings you give her?

“How long–” your voice breaks. “How long until you get sick of me?”

“What?” Wanda asks, dumbfounded.

“I keep making you worry, keep making you need to constantly reassure me, and it must be so tiring for you, so,” you shut your eyes tightly. “How long until you don’t want me anymore?”

Wanda’s heart breaks. “Never,” she breathes out. “I could never stop wanting you, even if I tried.” Wanda squeezes your hand tightly. “And I would never want to try.”

“But I’m–” you bite your lip to stop a cry from coming out. “I’m so much to deal with, and I’m not even that interesting, and it would be so much easier for you to date someone who’s actually worthy of how amazing you are–”

Wanda cuts you off with a kiss. Cupping your cheek, she states, “You are so worthy of love, Y/N.”

You stay silent, staring back at her green eyes and feeling them pull you out of toxic puddle that was your thoughts like they always did.

“Loving you is the greatest gift the world has ever given me,” Wanda says, rubbing her thumb against your cheek. “And I could never get sick of you. You are the most incredible thing to ever exist, and loving you, for me, is like breathing. It’s the easiest thing in the world, and it’s everywhere.”

“I just feel like I’m putting you through a lot,” you say quietly.

“You’re not,” Wanda shakes her head. “You’re actually making everything I go through easier than it’s ever been.”

“I’m sorry,” you say.

“Sorry for what?” Wanda asks. “This is everything I love about you.”

You laugh. “You like when I start crying and get insecure?”

“I like every part of you. And if you need me to calm you down every single day, I’ll do it in a heartbeat,” Wanda replies, and you smile slightly at her. “But I do hate seeing you cry.” She frowns.

You scoff. “I hate feeling like this,” you mutter.

“And I hate Natasha for making you feel like this,” Wanda pulls you into her side and you tuck your head into her shoulder, closing your eyes.

“I don’t think it was just her,” you say softly. “I think it was a buildup of everything, and Nat just amped it up more. I never really worked through how much that relationship affected me before jumping into one with you.”

Wanda nods. “Do you want me to give you some space for you to figure it out?”

You shake your head, wrapping your arms around her waist. “I never want–” you stop yourself, worrying she’ll find you too clingy as Nat’s words ring in your head again. Space from you.

Wanda doesn’t mean to, but your thoughts echo so loudly in your head that she can’t help but hear them. And she wants to kill Natasha all over again. “What did Natasha say to you at the party?” she asks quietly.

“Um,” you grapple with your feelings as you relive that night, when Nat made all of your feelings of inadequacy come alive once more. Wanda frowns, rubbing her palm against your side to calm you down. “She said, that–, that you would get sick of me eventually. That I’m boring. And rude. And,” you swallow past the lump in your throat. “Too clingy.”

“What a bitch,” Wanda mutters.

“Do you think she’s right?” you ask Wanda, squeezing her waist tighter as your fears that Wanda will get sick of you come alive, and these are your last few moments with the person who lit up your entire world.

“No, baby, she’s so so wrong,” Wanda replies, her eyes turning red before she looks down at you and frowns as she sees your eyes squeezed tightly shut.

“The clingy one hurts me the most,” you whisper. “All I wanted was to love her and for her to love me back. But maybe I’m too much.”

You recall all the times you memorized her new coffee order every few months, the countless hours you had spent re-reading her self-help books, memorizing every fact, listening to all of her favorite songs from the information you had gathered about her. And the way you felt so proud to be Natasha’s girlfriend, the greatest assassin in the world and she chose you to be her partner. How could you have not talked about her?

Maybe it was too much?

“I think you’re the most amazing person in the world,” Wanda says, as her powers run amok once more and she sees all the lovely gestures you had done for Natasha. “I think Nat was an idiot for not seeing how kind and loving you are. And you are never too much.”

You look up at Wanda as she looks down at you with a small smile. Kissing your forehead softly, she says, “You’re not boring. And you’re not rude. In fact, you’re the most interesting person I’ve ever met, as well as the kindest. And if someone is lucky enough to be loved by you, they should realize how rare it is to find someone as incredible as you.”

You shake your head softly in disbelief. “How do you do it?” you ask.

“Do what?”

“Make me feel like I’m actually worthy of being loved.”

Wanda kisses you deeply this time.

“You are, I’m just the one who helps you see it.”

Later that night, Wanda hears you on the phone with one of your oncology friends, and she hears you talk about her. How amazing she is, and how lucky you are to have her. And when she sees you flop back onto the bed through the crack of your door, an elated expression on your face, as you speak dreamily about the way Wanda dresses and the books she reads, Wanda thinks that you’re the greatest thing the world has ever created. And she knows it’s true.

***

“Baby?” you say, turning to face Wanda in the dark in your bed. Wanda has her arm over your side, and she hums groggily as she was about to fall asleep.

“What’s going on?” she asks, her voice still heavy with sleep.

“Nothing,” you say quickly, before slowly saying, “It’s just, I really, really, love you.”

Wanda smiles. “You woke me up to say that?”

“I didn’t know you were basically asleep,” you reply guiltily. “Guess the mission wore you out more than a night-shift wears me out. Sorry.”

Wanda kisses you. “Don’t be, you’re adorable.”

“Can I tell you something?”

“Of course, milaya.”

“It’s really hard to sleep when you’re next to me,” you confess.

Wanda grins into the dark. “Oh, yeah? Is it because I’m so attractive?”

You laugh. “Yes,” you reply, and Wanda’s grin turns smug. “But it’s also because it’s so surreal that I’m with you, at all. And it’s even more surreal that you’re in my bed with me, cuddling me, and you’re so warm and soft and it just makes me want to–”

Wanda cuts you off with a kiss.

God, she was so in love with you.

You grin sheepishly, “Sorry.”

Wanda rolls her eyes. “Stop apologizing, detka.”

“Okay,” you nod.

“Feel better?” Wanda asks, and you understand her question. It’s been a month since Nat confronted you at the party, and moments like this were a big step for you in coming to terms with yourself overall.

“Much,” you reply. “Especially because you’re here.”

Wanda smiles. “I’m glad.”

Wanda’s heart swells when she cuddles you once more, and you hold her hand that’s around your middle as tightly as you can. She feels an overwhelming love for you, and she thinks about the ring in her desk drawer back in her room.

***

Wanda’s laughing at your joke on the couch. Wanda’s the only one who has ever laughed at your jokes, and it makes you feel so much lighter than ever before, while also making you fall deeper and deeper in love with the woman you’re lucky enough to call your girlfriend.

“You know, you’re the only person who’s ever laughed at my jokes,” you say.

Wanda smiles. “Well, then everyone else doesn’t have as sophisticated sense of humor as we do.”

You give her an incredulous look. “The first day I met you, you laughed at a stupid pun I made.”

“Exactly,” Wanda shrugs. “Sophisticated.”

You shake your head with a smile, taking a sip of your tea as your heart feels bigger and more full than you ever thought possible.

And Wanda watches you, awestruck at your striking beauty that she struggles to believe is reality.

***

Wanda’s sick. Wanda’s sick and you’re worried because your girlfriend is in pain and you don’t want her to be.

When you came in this morning back from your shift in the hospital, excited to see her, your heart had dropped at seeing her pained expression in bed, her voice croaky and her brows furrowed as she battled the feeling of nausea that overcame her. Not to mention her shivers as her high fever caused her even more misery.

You sat down on the edge of her bed, softly brushing away the strands of hair that stuck to her forehead due to her high temperature, ‘causing Wanda to stir eventually.

Slowly opening her eyes, her eyes lit up as she greeted you with a soft smile. “Hi,” she whispered.

Frowning, you put the back of your hand against her forehead. “Baby, you’re warm,” you told her, suddenly very worried.

“I’m fine,” Wanda replied, trying to sit up but letting out a groan. “I’m not fine,” she joked, as you helped her lay back down.

“Stay here, I’ll go get you some medicine,” you said, kissing her forehead quickly before heading to the cabinets full of medicine in the bathroom.

“Don’t take too long, Dr. L/N,” Wanda said sleepily as she shut her eyes once more, trying her best to fight her exhaustion so she would still be awake when you came back.

Shaking your head with a smile, you searched through the cabinets to find the proper medication to give her, already planning how you were going to take care of her the rest of the day and for as long as she needed you while she combatted her illness. Despite your worry, you were grateful that you were finally able to take care of your girlfriend, the same way she did to you every single day.

Wanda’s condition had subsided slightly, particularly her fever which had gone down quite a bit, but she was still feeling most of the effects of the sickness.

“Wands,” you say softly, putting the bowl of soup on her nightstand as you kneel down on her side to wake her up gently with a kiss on her cheek.

Wanda wakes from her slumber with a groan, still slightly disoriented causing you to frown.

“Is your fever back?” you ask, putting the back of your hand on her forehead like you had done previously this morning. It wasn’t as hot as before, calming your worry a bit.

Wanda shakes her head before resting it on your shoulder, letting out a sigh. “You’re so good,” she says, turning her head to kiss your neck gently.

“Good at what?” you say with a laugh.

“Just good,” she says contently, relaxing in your presence.

“I made you some soup,” you tell her, kissing her temple as she hums.

“I don’t want it,” she says, muffled by your shirt.

“I’ll stay with you if you have a couple bites,” you offer.

Wanda removes her head from your shoulder and raises a brow. “You were going to stay with me anyways,” she says matter-of-factly, trying her best to appear intimidating.

You smile at her cute expression. Wanda could never be intimidating, especially now when her hair was slightly tousled from her pillow and she was wearing an old T-shirt of yours that was full of wrinkles from her time in bed.

She was about as intimidating as a baby sea otter.

“Not anymore,” you shrug, ‘causing Wanda to narrow her eyes slightly.

“Well, you better,” she retorts, crossing her arms over her chest. “Otherwise I’m never getting over this fever.”

You smile once more.

“You know, you’re really cute when you’re sick.”

“You’re insufferable when I’m sick.”

You laugh, “Please, will you have some soup?”

“Only if you cuddle with me when I’m better.”

“I’ll cuddle you right now if you eat a couple spoonfuls,” you say. “I’ll even feed you.”

“I don’t want to get you sick,” Wanda says before her eyes narrow at you once more. “Also, I’m not a child.”

“I got my flu shot last month,” you tell her, reassuring her worries. “And you’re kinda acting like one,” you tease, before kissing her forehead. “But it’s really cute.”

Finally, Wanda relents. “Fine, I’ll have some soup.”

“Thank you, love.”

You grab the soup from the nightstand and hand it to her, and as she eats you rest your head on her shoulder, one of Wanda’s top 3 favorite ways to be next to you.

She eats about half before she’s full, and you tell her you’re proud of her before heading off to the kitchen to put the bowl away.

However, as you get up from her bed, Wanda stops you by grabbing your wrist.

“Where are you going?” she asks, sitting up slightly as she was already laying back down with the blankets tucked under her chin.

“To put the bowl away,” you respond gently. “Keeping it in your room might make it start to smell like chicken noodle.”

Wanda scrunches her nose, accepting your answer quickly making you laugh.

But as you’re about to leave, you see Wanda watching you, staying sitting up and you can tell that it’s because she wants to wait for you to come back.

Making your way back over, you gently tell her, “Go back to sleep,” you brush a strand of hair away from her eyes and tuck it behind her ear. “You’re nauseated again, I can tell.”

“Will you be here when I wake up?” she asks.

“Of course,” you kiss the tip of her nose.

And when she lies back down, groggily croaking out the words, “so american,” most likely commenting on the chicken noodle soup, you smile, you smile because you know that’s Wanda’s way of saying she loves you.

But to Wanda, it’s also her way of saying she wants to marry you.

***

“This isn’t fair,” you pout as Wanda beats you in Mario Kart once again.

She had been better for about a week, and she was back to herself which you were ecstatic about.

“Baby, how is this not fair,” she laughs.

“You’re way better than me! You had all those years where you played against Pietro, who’s unbeatable, and I only learned ‘cause Sam forced me to when no one else was available!” You cross your arms over your chest.

Wanda smiles at the cute pout on your face before kissing you softly, and your expression eases up a bit.

“We can play something else if you want,” she offers, pecking your lips once more.

“Can I just cuddle you?” you ask, suddenly feeling very shy.

“You don’t even have to ask,” Wanda says, opening her arms for you to lay down on her, as she leans back against the pillow of the couch, your head resting on her chest as you’re comforted by the sound of her heartbeat.

You wrap your arms around her waist as she grabs the blanket from the other side of the couch, and pulls it over the two of you, making sure you’re completely covered from the neck down before she tightens her arms around you.

“I love you,” you say softly, closing your eyes as you relax to the feeling of Wanda stroking your hair gently as you lay on her chest.

“I love you too, detka. So much,” she says, watching as sleep starts to overcome you due to how exhausted you were from being on call for the past two weeks.

“You know, it’s really not fair,” you mutter sleepily.

“What, me winning over 10 times in a row on the Wii?” she laughs.

“No,” you shake your head. “It’s not fair of you to make me feel this much.”

Wanda responds by kissing your forehead gently, and you burrow deeper into her chest as you fall into a deep slumber.

Wanda smiles, content and so so happy as she watches you, feeling the weight of the ring in her back pocket.

***

It was your one year anniversary, and Wanda had planned a small weekend getaway for the two of you as you had been exhausted due to a bunch of new projects you were taking on.

Wanda was so proud of you, but a lot of the time she felt worried because of how heavy of a workload you were taking on.

You were planning on coming over later tonight, as you had to work extra hours in the hospital.

So, to make you feel better and to let you know about your vacation Wanda made sure wouldn’t interfere with your schedule, she had spent all day cooking you a wonderful 3-course meal which consisted of all of your favorite foods. As well as a large batch of chocolate chip cookies that would last you a solid month so long as you put them in the freezer.

She smiled at the thought of you as she rolled out the homemade pasta she was making you, how you had turned her world upside down as she navigated the unfamiliar territory of being the newest and youngest Avenger, just having you made her feel like she was so much better than before, and Wanda fell so so deeply in love with you and she never wanted to stop.

She wanted to give you the world.

She thought about how kind you were, how you cared so deeply for everyone, always stopping to help wherever and whenever you could. Wanda felt so special to be the partner of someone so undeniably incredible.

Suddenly, the oven beeps, snapping her out of her thoughts as she pulls out the chicken to go along with your pasta, the appetizer of calamari already prepared as it layed on a wire rack, as well as the chocolate chip cookies which she had prepared earlier in the day to make sure she had time to make enough.

Once she finished up, she plated the table for the two of you as she had kicked everyone out for her special dinner with you, wanting you all to herself. She smiled as she lit the candles and set up the plates along with the knives and forks, laying the plate of calamari in the middle as she kept her entree and dessert a secret from you.

Hearing her phone go off, she grins once she sees that you’ve texted that you’ve just arrived.

Taking her apron off as quickly as possible, she rushes downstairs to open the door for you, exhilarated at the thought of seeing you.

Swinging the door open, you smile softly at her while she grins, bursting forward to wrap you in a tight hug.

“Hi,” you laugh, wrapping your arms around her. “Happy anniversary.”

“Can you take a break from doctoring once in a while?” she mutters into your neck.

“I wish,” you say, wrapping your arms tighter around her.

Once she lets go, she grabs your hand to pull you upstairs, excited to surprise you.

“Wanda, what’s the rush?” you ask as you make your way up the stairs.

“I missed you too much, come on!” she says, making you laugh.

Once you finally make it to the top floor, Wanda stops you from walking any further. “Close your eyes,” she says.

You shoot her a look.

“Trust me,” she says, pecking your lips quickly.

Closing your eyes, you say, “What now?”

“Okay, I’m gonna guide you,” she says excitedly as she stands behind you, starting to lead you to the dining room table.

“This is not how I expected our anniversary to go.”

“Just trust me,” Wanda says.

Nodding, you continue to walk in the direction Wanda guides you before she stops you in place.

“Okay, ready?” she says and you nod. “Three, two, one, open your eyes!”

You open your eyes, and they widen in shock as you see the most beautiful candlelit dinner you’ve ever seen in your life.

Wanda has swapped out the regular dining room table for a round one covered in a shiny white tablecloth, as well as swapped out the regular wooden chairs for more expensive looking ones that match the elegance of the table. The plates and utensils are arranged perfectly, along with the restaurant quality napkins that were beautifully folded so they were standing upright, absolutely nothing was out of place, and the calamari in the middle was cooked to perfection, the smell wafting towards you no doubt making you hungry.

It looked like Wanda had taken the appearance of a michelin star restaurant and copied it to perfection right here in the Avengers compound.

But what was even more unbelievable was the string of lights she had arranged all throughout the room, from every nook and cranny, the lights brought a hope to the dinner that nearly brought tears to your eyes at how romantic and calm they made the room feel.

And finally, to top it all off, right in the middle of the array of candles on the table was a large vase of your favorite flowers.

Flowers you had only ever mentioned to her once when she asked you, and you had told her not to worry about it because you could only ever get them in New Zealand.

“What do you think?” she asks, coming up behind you and wrapping an arm around your shoulder.

You quickly turn to wrap her in a tight hug, squeezing so tightly you’re surprised she can even breathe. “I love you,” you breathe out. “So much.”

Wanda laughs. “Does that mean you like it?” she says teasingly before continuing, “I love you too,” she kisses the crown of your head.

Burrowing deeper into her, you mumble, “I can’t believe...I can’t believe I’m really here.”

You remember how awful you felt 2 years ago, how hopeless you felt. How unworthy you felt. Now, standing here in Wanda’s arms, who you’re still convinced is much too good to be true, feeling so so loved, everything feels surreal.

“I have the same thought about you,” Wanda says, her powers running amok as she accidentally reads your mind again and hears your thoughts about her. “You’re too good. Sometimes I can’t believe you exist.”

“Stop,” you say as your cheeks turn red against her neck.

“Happy anniversary,” she says softly. “I have another surprise for you.”

That makes you look up. “What is it?”

“Join me for dinner and I’ll tell you,” she says cheekily.

“Why can’t you tell me now?” You pout.

“Nice try, but I didn’t spend all day cooking this meal for nothing.” She runs her hands up and down your arms. “Besides, you deserve a nice relaxing dinner after all the work you’ve done the past few weeks.”

You look up at her with a shimmering look in your eyes and a lovesick smile on your face.

“What?” she laughs.

“Just happy,” you reply, kissing her lips.

“You deserve it,” Wanda says easily. “Now come on!”

She leads you over to the table by the hand, pulling out your chair for you as you sit down, planting a quick kiss on your lips before sitting down across from you.

You share countless smiles and laughs as you have the best dinner of your life, zoning out a couple times as Wanda talks and you simply admire her for everything she is.

And as you bite into your chocolate chip cookie after Wanda has revealed the enormous batch she made, she’s telling you what the surprise from earlier was.

“So, I’ve checked your schedule,” she says excitedly. “And since you’re free this weekend I booked us a vacation in Palm Springs! The weather’s perfect, and you’ll finally get to relax after working so hard, plus, they have amazing grass tennis courts and I know you’ve been wanting to get back into playing since you don’t have much time for it anymore–”

“Wanda,” you cut off softly, shaking your head.

You can’t even begin to comprehend that tonight is real at all.

“What?” she asks, looking at you with a smile.

“Every time I start to think you couldn’t get more perfect you just…”

“I get the same feeling about you,” she says, making you blush. “But I’m not perfect.” She takes a hold of both of your hands and rubs her thumbs over the backs softly. “However, I do love you, so much, and I want to show it.”

“Well, you’re perfect for me,” you reply, meeting her gaze and smiling softly as the two of you just stare at each other. But suddenly, it clicks in your head. “How did you know I used to play tennis?”

Wanda blushes before she starts off shyly, “Um, before we started dating I went to your hospital to see if you were there, but you weren’t so I may have asked your oncology friends a couple things about you.”

“So you stalked me?” you tease.

“I couldn’t help it I had a crush on you!” she defends, letting go of your hands and putting her head into her arms. “I still have a crush on you.”

“How embarrassing,” you comment with a chuckle.

“It’s not embarrassing,” she defends as she lifts her head from her arms. “Have you seen how pretty you are?”

You blush, ducking your head down so your hair covers your face slightly. Even after a year of dating Wanda always managed to fluster you to no end.

“Wow, now who’s embarrassed,” Wanda teases back.

“Shut up, I hate you,” you say, embarrassed.

“Wow, that’s not very American of you,” she says with a chuckle.

“Take that back,” you say, lifting your head and narrowing your eyes at her.

“If you say yes to the Palm Springs trip.”

“I thought I already said yes.”

“Not verbally,” she emphasizes.

“I’ll go anywhere you go,” you say easily.

“Cute cop-out, but I need the word yes,” she says, sitting up and kissing your lips quickly before sitting back down.

“Yes,” you relent with a smile. “I’ll go to Palm Springs with you.”

“Good,” she smiles before a mischievous twinkle brings itself out in her eyes. “So I’ll get to watch you play tennis all weekend. I can already imagine how hot that’ll be…”

“Why do you insist on teasing me?”

“‘Cause you look so cute when you’re flustered.”

You shake your head, taking a bite of your chocolate chip cookie to distract yourself from the way Wanda was making you feel.

But instead she decides to mess with you even more, softly saying the words “so american” as she watches you.

And Wanda telling you she loves you made you the most flustered of all.

***

You had gotten Wanda a necklace for your anniversary, and she had gotten you a bracelet with both of your initials on them.

Now, waking up in your hotel in Palm Springs, you smile once you see the bracelet on your wrist. You turn in bed to see if Wanda was there, but you frown once you see the empty spot next to you.

Where was she?

You wonder where she could be, because she would never leave to go to breakfast without you, nor would she head out without telling you where she was going after waking you up with a soft kiss.

You don’t know where she could have gone.

But soon, your question is answered as she enters the room, a large tray of your favorite breakfast foods in her hands as she greets you with a smile.

You tilt your head in confusion.

“Hi,” she says, setting down the tray and kissing you on the lips. “I made you breakfast.”

Your heart flutters and your stomach fills with butterflies. “How did you manage to do this?”

“Turns out that locked room isn’t a closet, but a tiny kitchen,” she explains, pointing to the aforementioned room. “I found out after I woke up early this morning by accident.”

“I missed you,” you say, hugging her side. “Where’d you get the food from?”

“Magic,” she replies easily.

“Oh, right, I forgot I’m dating a witch,” you chuckle, hugging her tighter.

“I’m not a witch,” she says defiantly. “I was voted most powerful Avenger at Tony’s ceremony last year.”

“They’re right,” you say, looking over to the breakfast tray and smiling once you see the gorgeous rose that lays on its side. “But that doesn’t mean you’re not a witch.”

“I’m a not-witch who’s really in love with you.”

“And I’m a not-doctor who’s really in love with you.”

“Well, then we agree to disagree,” she says, putting the tray in front of you, silently telling you to start enjoying your meal.

“Mhm,” you say, eating a forkful of the omelet she had prepared and moaning at the taste. “Where’d you learn to cook?”

“My mother taught me, back in Sokovia,” she says quickly, heat flushing to her cheeks after she hears the sound you had made. Shifting from her position on the bed to move behind you, she gently shifts you forward slightly so she can sit behind you and outstretch her legs as she wraps her arms around your middle.

You lean your head back to rest against her shoulder. “She taught you really well,” you say, closing your eyes.

“Detka, are you gonna fall asleep while eating breakfast?” she laughs.

“No, I’m just savoring this moment,” you reply, kissing her shoulder. “And I want to savor this breakfast too.”

“Yeah? I’m that good?” she says with a chuckle.

“You are,” you say, opening your eyes to look up at her. “In fact, I might marry you right now if you keep this up.”

“I’d do it every day just for you,” she replies, kissing your lips.

And when you smile at her, that beautiful smile that makes Wanda’s heart beat faster than she can comprehend, she seriously considers pulling out the ring from her pocket to propose to you right in your hotel room.

***

“Baby? Wake up,” Wanda whispers, bright and early in the morning on September 8th.

You groan, not wanting to get up.

Wanda laughs. “Come on, it’s your birthday,” she says, kissing you on your forehead.

“Doesn’t that mean I should get to sleep in,” you grumble, burying yourself deeper into the pillows. “Come cuddle with me,” you say, sleepily patting the spot next to you where Wanda had slept last night.

“As much as I would love to, if I cuddle you right now you’re only gonna end up sleeping for another hour. And there’s a bunch of things prepared for your special day,” she says softly.

“Another hour sounds great, thanks,” you mumble as you start to feel yourself drift off.

“No, no, no, come on!” she laughs, gently pulling the blankets off your body.

“It’s cold,” you groan as the air of the room starts to wash over your body.

“Because you and I sleep in negative degrees,” Wanda says teasingly before gently sitting down on your bed to hug you tightly.

After a few minutes, you accept your fate as you sit up with a sigh against the headboard, Wanda letting go of you to grab the glass of water on your nightstand to hand to you.

“Happy birthday,” she says softly as you take a sip of the water and she watches you with a smile.

You kiss her gently. “Thanks.”

“How’d you sleep?” she asks.

“Really well.” You grin. “I got to cuddle with you all night.”

“Last night must have helped too–”

“I will throw this water in your face if you finish that sentence,” you cut her off, starting to blush.

“I wouldn’t mind,” she says with a smirk. “You’re really hot when you’re angry.”

“So, theoretically if I yelled at you, you’d just end up wanting to have sex?”

“First,” she says. “You would never yell at me.” You give her a look, and she just smiles smugly because she knows she’s right. You were way too nice to ever yell at anyone. Even animals. “And second, yes, that’s usually how that works.”

“You’re a middle school boy,” you say with a shake of your head.

Wanda just smiles before kissing you deeply. “Can’t help it.” She brushes a strand of hair away from your face. “You’re the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen.”

“You’re the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen,” you say back.

Wanda grins. “Ready for your birthday?” she asks, standing up from the bed and holding out her hand for you to take.

You nod, smiling as you take it and stand up, kissing her quickly before she starts to take you through the day she had planned.

And when you’re back, cutting into your birthday cake to hand out to the team members (Natasha was on a mission in Africa) which Wanda had baked, you’re back after a sunrise picnic full of your favorite foods, a relaxing walk across the beach, lunch at your favorite diner, a tour of your favorite locations in New York City as well as somehow meeting your favorite tennis player on the Arthur Ashe stadium of the US Open (you have absolutely no clue how Wanda pulled that off), you turn to your incredible girlfriend, who’s already staring at you with an adoring gaze in her eyes.

Softly, you say, “I’m so in love with you.”

You never knew your heart could ever feel this full.

“I’m so in love with you too,” she replies, kissing you in the most gentle way yet somehow still communicating the deepest sense of passion. “Happy 24th, detka.”

You want to cry, you want to cry the happiest tears of your life because, god, you have no idea how you got so lucky to have this woman in your life.

But instead, you kiss her on the lips, hoping it says everything you need to.

And Wanda knows exactly what you’re saying.

***

“Oh, my god, what if it’s too much!” you ramble to Yelena as you pace back and forth in your apartment back home.

“You’ve been dating her for 4 years, you idiot,” Yelena replies, rolling her eyes.

“Exactly! What if this is like a 5-year thing, or 7 years– Or, god, I don’t know!”

“Y/N,” she says, grabbing your attention. “Listen, this is ridiculous. That girl is so disgustingly in love with you, you could tell her you’ve hated her all this time and she would still think you gave her the sun or something.”

You frown. “I could never hate Wanda.”

“God, you two are insufferable,” Yelena sighs.

But Yelena’s secretly so happy to see that you’ve finally found someone who treats you the way you deserve to be treated.

“Hey!”

“For God’s sake, just go tell her you don’t like ravioli.”

“It’s her favorite food! We eat it every Thursday just for her!”

“It’s actually you who’s her favorite food.”

“What? Yelena, I swear–”

Later that day, Wanda accepts your revelation with a smile on her face and a kiss on your cheek.

***

“Wanda,” you say softly as you two walk hand-in-hand through the streets of New York.

“Yeah?” she says, turning to face you with a small smile.

“So, I don’t want to assume this,” you pause, fidgeting with your fingers nervously. “But, will you go out to dinner with me?”

Wanda grins. “We’ve been dating for four years and you don’t want to assume that I’ll go to dinner with you?”

“Well, you might be busy!” you defend.

Wanda laughs. “I’m never too busy for you, milaya.”

“You’re just saying that. What if there’s a criminal who shows up out of the blue and you’re needed for superhero business or something…”

“Then we’ll reschedule,” Wanda says, shrugging. “And I’ll make sure I always have time for you.”

You bite your lip anxiously. “What if…what if you don’t come back one day?” your voice trembles.

“Oh, baby,” Wanda says, hugging you. “I’ll always come back to you.”

“You can’t know that,” you mumble into her shirt.

“But I do,” she says, holding you by your shoulders and pulling away slightly. “Because you’re worth every bit fighting for, and I’ll always make sure that I keep fighting until I see your face again.”

Wanda frowns as she watches the tears roll down your cheeks.

Wiping them away with her thumb, she says softly, “I love you. I’ll always come back to the person I love most in the world.”

“I love you too,” you reply, wiping your tears with the back of your hand. “Sorry.”

“Don’t be,” she tells you. “I’m always happy to care for you.”

“I’m really hopelessly in love with you,” you say quietly only for Wanda to hear.

“The feeling’s mutual, detka.”

***

Wanda was going to propose to you tonight.

It was almost Christmas, which she had found out in your first year of dating was your favorite time of year (besides her birthday or your guys’ anniversary) because it made you feel like you belonged somewhere.

Wanda smiled while she watched you from the couch, biting the nail of your thumb as you thought carefully of which ornament to put next on the Christmas tree.

She was so in love with you, your work ethic, how much you cared for her, how loved you made her feel. She wanted to spend the rest of her life with you.

“Wanda?” you ask, snapping her out of her thoughts.

“Yeah, detka?” she replies, looking over at you.

You point to the box of blue and silver ornaments by her feet. “Can you pass me the silver one shaped like a Christmas tree?”

Nodding, she grabs the ornament from the box and makes her way over to you, hugging you from behind as you placed it carefully on the branch only a little bit taller than you.

“How does it look?” you ask with a smile, turning your head slightly to kiss her on the cheek.

“Even better than last year,” she replies, squeezing you tighter.

If someone didn’t stop her soon, she was going to propose to you right then and there.

In order to stop herself, she clears her throat and steps back from you a bit, letting go, hoping you don’t notice her actions.

However, you know her too well, and you turn to look at her with a small furrow of your brows.

Wanda gives an awkward smile. “Um, I’m gonna get started on the cookies,” she says, pointing towards the kitchen.

“Okay,” you say slowly.

Wanda nods, giving you a quick kiss on the cheek before leaving you to head towards the previously mentioned room.

Once Wanda’s in the kitchen, she lets out a sigh, wondering how she was going to get through the day without breaking down due to her nerves. Wanda checked her back pocket, making sure the ring was still there, and felt a sense of relief once she felt it’s black box.

She had it planned perfectly. After tonight’s holiday party with the team (which she had exclusively made sure Natasha could not make it), she was going to take you to the coffee shop where you two had first met, then she was going to take you to Shakespeare’s garden where you two had first admitted you loved each other, and she was going to officially propose to you at the firework show she had begged Tony to help her host.

Everything had to be perfect.

“Wanda?” you startled her out of her thoughts as you knocked on the doorway. Furrowing your brows, you ask, “are you alright?”

“What? Yeah! Yeah, I’m fine…” Wanda replies awkwardly, looking down at her feet and shifting awkwardly.

You laugh slightly, “Baby, you haven’t even started on the cookies.” You walk over to her, seeing nothing but two eggs on the counter in front of her and nothing else.

Wanda gulps slightly at your close proximity. How stupid that she had been dating you for 6 years yet you still made her feel like a teenager in high school. “I did…” she says weakly.

“Oh yeah?” you tease. “How delicious if we left out two eggs with milk for Old St. Nick?” You pick up an egg between your fingers to show her.

“It’ll give him something new to try,” Wanda shrugs.

Sighing, you put the egg down, and cup your girlfriend’s cheeks in your hands, rubbing your thumbs over them. “What’s going on?” you say gently.

“Just nervous,” Wanda admits.

“Nervous for what?” you ask, brushing a tendril of hair away from her face.

“You make me nervous,” Wanda says, relenting as she rests her forehead on your shoulder. “You’re so perfect,” she mumbles into your shirt.

Your heart feels like it might explode. “I don’t understand,” you say as you shake your head. “How are you the nervous one yet somehow you still make me feel like I’m gonna burst with happiness?”

Wanda smiles against your shirt. “It’s ‘cause I love you.”

“And I love you,” you reply.

“You know, we still have about 2 hours until Tony’s party…” she says suggestively, starting to kiss her way up your neck.

“More than enough time for you to help me finish the tree,” you say lightheartedly.

Wanda groans. “I hate you.”

“Too late, you’re stuck with me already.” You grin as you grab her hand and lead her into the living room, the cookies unspokenly abandoned.

Little did you know, Wanda wanted nothing more than to be stuck with you for the rest of her life.

And tonight, she was going to make it official.

***

“Why the fuck is it so cold,” Wanda muttered, rubbing her bare arms to warm herself up, before intertwining your hands once again. “It’s way colder than the temperature you and I sleep in.”

“Because Pepper’s here,” you say easily. “And Tony turns the place into an ice box just for her.”

“Can’t he just invite some sort of nano-machine that keeps it cold for her all the time? He’s got the money,” Wanda says bitterly.

You chuckle. “Come on, grumpy,” you start to pull her onto the dance floor. “This ought to warm you up.”

Wanda accepts as you wrap your arms around her shoulders and she wraps hers around your waist, the two of you becoming lost in your own little world as you admire one another in your respective dresses.

“You look so pretty,” she tells you, awestruck at your beauty.

“So do you,” you say, taking her in before resting your head on her shoulder, swaying as the two of you try to stay as close as you possibly can.

Wanda closes her eyes as she rests her cheek on the crown of your head, feeling so content with you in her arms.

“When did you first know?” you whisper next to her ear.

“When you made that stupid pun,” Wanda says, and she giggles once she hears you groan in embarrassment.

“That’s the worst one you could’ve said,” you say, lifting your head up from her shoulder to meet her gaze.

“Can’t help it,” she says, kissing you quickly. “It was so adorable.”

“I still think it’s insane that you actually find me funny,” you shake your head.

“I’ll laugh at all your jokes,” she replies easily. “It’s one of the reasons I fell in love with you.”

“Are all Sokovians this romantic?”

“Are all Americans this incredible?”

You both grin stupidly at each other before the two of you can’t take it and kiss each other deeply, pouring every ounce of love you feel for one another.

“Nope,” Wanda says as she pulls away. “Just my so American girlfriend.”

You smile, kissing her again, and again, and again.

And Wanda thinks it wasn’t fair of you either, to make her feel this much.

***

“Wanda, where are we going?” you laugh as she pulls you through the streets of New York.

“I need to show you something, come on!” she says, stopping once you realize where she’s brought the two of you.

The coffee shop where you first met.

“What are we doing here?” you ask, unable to stop the cheesy grin that makes its way onto your face.

“It’s a surprise, come on,” she replies, opening the door for you and letting you in. Once she shuts the door behind her, you turn, and your eyes soften once you see the shiny look in her eyes. “I’m taking you on a tour,” she says, guiding you to the back table where you two had first spoken.

“A tour of what?” you say, smiling as you follow her.

“A tour of how much I love you.”

And Wanda only falls deeper and deeper in love once she sees the happy tears in your eyes when she reveals your coffee cup from when the two of you had first met, which she had kept all this time.

***

“No way,” you say with awe as your next stop comes into your line of sight, the coffee cup held safely in your hand at your side.

“And I re-made the batch of cookies we shared that day,” Wanda said, pulling a tupperware of cookies from behind her back as you follow her onto the bridge of Shakespeare’s garden.

“What made you do all this?” you ask, shaking your head in disbelief as you come up to her to wrap your arms around her shoulders.

“It’s a surprise,” she replies, kissing you. “But for now, I want you to know how much you mean to me.”

“I do,” you say easily. “Every day.”

“Good,” Wanda grins. “And I’m gonna keep showing you.”

***

Wanda might not even propose tonight.

In fact, she doesn’t know if she’ll even remember as she’s lost in awe at how beautiful you look under the stars, holding the rail that separates you from the body of water in front of you while standing on top of a craggly rock, the booming fireworks causing your eyes to shine in a way that makes Wanda want to capture this moment forever.

But, she’s on a mission.

And when it came to you, Wanda always put her best foot forward.

“They’re so beautiful,” you say, completely in awe as you watch the colors explode in the sky.

“Just like you,” Wanda says softly.

“You know, I still really want to know why you did all this,” you say, turning to her and smiling once you see her already watching you. “I didn’t miss any special date, did I?”

“Of course you didn’t, your google calendar is already filled to the brim,” she replies with a teasing roll of her eyes.

“Well, if I didn’t have everything booked then you would forget all of your check-up appointments with your doctor,” you reply cheekily.

“You’re already a doctor.”

“Not the right kind of doctor.”

“You’re actually exactly my kind of doctor,” Wanda flirts, making you blush.

“I hate you. That was awful,” you say as you turn away.

And as you watch the fireworks in the sky once again, Wanda decides, now’s the time.

Taking a deep breath and swallowing her nerves, she gets down on one knee.

Then, almost robotically, she pulls out the ring, opening the box slowly, as if any sudden movement would cause the whole thing to shatter.

She just needed you to turn her way.

To turn your head slightly and see her message for you.

I want to spend the rest of my life by your side.

It feels as if time has stopped.

All she feels is the beating of her heart through her chest, the blood pounding in her ears, and her nerves washing over her over and over again– and all she needs is for you to look.

It feels like hours before you–

Then, you do.

And it’s slow, and careful, and gentle, and so you.

You gasp.

And Wanda shakily breathes out, “Will you marry me, detka?”

Both of your hands cover your mouth, and tears build in your eyes.

And Wanda feels the happiest she has ever felt–

When you croak out a yes.

Wanda wants to keep this moment forever. She wants to remember how full her heart feels when she slips the ring onto your finger. The feel of your lips on her own when you kiss her hard through both of your tears and your laughs of disbelief.

It’s the happiest day of her life.

And it’s the happiest day of yours, too.

***

“I’m so, so, in love with you,” you say as the two of you walk back to your shared home, wrapped in each other’s arms.

“I’m so in love with you too, detka,” Wanda replies, kissing your temple as she holds you close.

“When you were a kid, did you ever think you were going to have an American girlfriend?” you chuckle.

“I never did,” Wanda admits with a smile. “But I couldn’t be happier that I ended up with a beautiful, so American fiancée.”

You blush at the new title, hiding your reddening face in your fiancée’s neck. “Tonight doesn’t even feel real,” you mumble after a moment.

Wanda laughs slightly. “Yeah, I know the feeling.”

Suddenly, out of curiosity, you ask, “When did you buy that ring?”

“A week after we started dating,” Wanda says resolutely.

“What?” Your head snaps up from her neck.

“I just knew,” Wanda says, kissing the tip of your nose. “I knew you were going to be my wife.”

“That’s…” you shake your head in disbelief. “Wow.”

Wanda pulls you closer to her. “It was the easiest thing I’ve ever known. Wanna know why?”

“Why?” you ask.

“Because, from the first day I met you, I knew, you were everything to me. And you still are.”

Your eyes start to water. “I’m everything to you?”

“You are,” Wanda nods, kissing the crown of your head with so much tenderness it makes you want to cry.

But, you don’t start to cry because of the kiss.

And you don’t start to cry out of joy although you really, really want to.

No. The tears finally escape your eyes as you realize that you finally have everything you’ve ever wanted.

That you’re finally, finally everything to somebody else.

“You’re everything to me too.”

649 notes · View notes

squackimabird · 8 days

Text

AN EXCLUSIVE REMI PREVIEW!

testing...one...two...three...incoming one shot!

❝ TASTE ME WHEN SHE'S KISSING YOU ❞

pairing. abby anderson x fem!reader x owen!pissoff

TASTE ME WHEN SHE'S KISSING YOU, being friends with benefits with abby is no easy feat, continuously finding yourself at odds with what you know is logic and a heavy heart but at tess and joel’s wedding, push comes to shove. putting you and abby between a rock and a hard place.

“It’s never fucking easy with you” You scowled, eyes fluttering and watching her abruptly turning away from you. Even if you’ve known her for years, she was cautious of who sees her like this. Or whenever it came to her emotions. She didn’t want to be seen as weak. Tonight though, tonight you didn’t care what you said or did, you just wanted her to listen. Which is why you struggled to keep your mouth shut as she walked away. “Do you really think Owen gives a single fuck about you when he’s too busy shoving his tongue down Mel's throat like she’s some kind of hydration?”

★ warnings y disclaimers. eighteen+, wedding!au, cheating, friends to lovers (kinda?), abby in a fucking suit, angst + fluff + smut ps the whole trifecta, light bondage (r!tied up), fingering, 69ing, pussy munching, anal teasing, mean!abby, sub!reader, reader desc. feminine, anti-owen energy, lowkey mel slander.

wc. 16k+

my love, my conspirator, my cowriter, my other half. can’t spell remi without em…my sweet embear, @absfawn — there’s nothing i treasure more in the world than writing with you. a gorgeous brain, a stellar personality, nd such a beautiful heart. m’so proud of this project we put together and can’t wait to share with y’all ♡

if you aren’t on my taglist, lmk if you wanna be tagged!

412 notes · View notes

squackimabird · 9 days

Text

They're loud

Jinx tossed and turned in bed, the voices keeping her up so she couldn't sleep.

She sat up in bed, her eyelids heavy as she covered her ears, trying to get them to go away but they just wouldn't.

Rain droplets softly hit the glass window of her room, her stuff thrown haphazardly around.

She looked out the window from her bed, watching the rain fall down from above and into the hideout.

Had been a bit since she was forgiven and taken into the firelight hideout to be with her family again.

As she looked out the window Mylo whispered in her ear, the girl closing her eyes as she quickly turned around at him, waving her arm.

"Just go away already! I already told you…it was a mistake." She mumbled, her eyes downcasted to the floor as if she were trying to convince herself.

But Mylo grew relentless, bickering ather as she groaned, covering her ears as she tossed her feet over the edge of her bed and getting out of it.

She didn't know what to do, she wanted to sleep and he was so loud.

She didn't want to bother Vi, or Ekko. They had done enough the past few weeks for her.

So she did the only thing she could do, she opened the door quietly, looking out through the opened door frame.

She looked up and saw the rain fall from between the leaves of the giant tree house.

She held her hand out, feeling the rain softly against her palm as she calmed down a bit.

She then began to walk, her hair that was rarely out of the usual braids trailing behind her as it framed her face.

She quietly walked up the steps to her location, the occasional creek in the old wood.

She got to the door, standing in front of it as she hesitates to knock.

After a minute she softly tapped the wood with her fist, opening the door as she looked down like a sad child.

She heard you move around as she stood there.

"You okay?" You asked quietly, sitting up in bed as you rubbed the sleep away from your eyes.

Surprised to see Jinx standing in your door frame like a small, sad child after a nightmare.

Jinx didnt answer for a moment, rubbing her arm as she glanced up at you, making eye contact before looking back down.

"They're loud…" She mumbles, You confused for a moment before your eyes softened, the day in the tree you had learned about the voices picking at the girl.

You gave a small sigh, running a hand through your hair as you looked to the side of your bed at the alarm clock.

1:49 AM, it read.

The clock read as you sighed, looking over at Jinx before you fell back into your bed and closed your eyes.

Jinx looked at you, her eyes becoming even sadder at your reaction.

She then slowly began to turn around, her hand on the door knob to close it as she had taken she couldn't stay.

"Come on." Jinx paused, stopping as she swiftly turned back around and saw You lifting up your blanket as you gestured for her to come join you.

Jinx's eyes slightly widened, slowly walking toward the bed and closing the door.

She sat down on the edge, You looking over at her as she climbed in and under the blanket before you could say anything else.

Your arm was thrown across the bed as Jinx swiftly curled into your side, her head on your arm as you flipped onto your side to face the girl.

"What happened now?" You quietly asked, Jinx feeling your fingers begin to mess with her hair.

She closed her eyes, sighing as she melted into the feeling of warmth.

"They just wouldn't go away." She mumbled, you nodded your head.

"Then I'll kick their ass." You joked, Jinx quietly giggling under her breath as she smiled, leaning closer to you and resting her head on your chest as you drew small circles into her shoulder.

"You're warm." Jinx quietly noted, you giving an amused scoff.

"And you're freezing, how the hell are you still alive?" You asked, Jinx shrugging as she jokingly pulled you closer, you sighed as you gave up and hugged the girl back.

"I like this." You whispered, Jinx staying quiet.

"Reminds me of when we were kids, remember?" You asked, Jinx lifting her head up to look at you.

"What part?" She asked, throwing your head back as your eyes looked up at the ceiling.

"Sleepovers. The ones where we would stay up and mess with each other. Just us." You reminisce, smiling a bit as Jinx hummed.

Laying on her back now as she messed with your hand over her shoulder.

"Remember when we drew with a marker on Vi's face?" Jinx asked, excitement in her voice as you laughed.

Jinx looked to her side at you with a smile. "She almost killed us for that. Never again." You said, Jinx looking at you with a challenged look.

"We'll see."

You both quietly laughed, falling silent after a moment as you listened to the soft patter on the window.

"What made you grow out your hair?" You asked, laughing softly as you messed with some of the girl's hair.

It flows all around them on the bed. "I mean, when we were kids you used to cut it. So why keep it so long?" You asked, Jinx shrugging her shoulders a bit.

"Vi used to braid and brush my hair…" she mumbled, you hummed as you nodded softly.

"And plus, you always used to like messing with it." She said, nodding your head with a smile at the fond memories of yourself and the girl of when you used to put hair clips in her hair.

"Guess I never let it go." Jinx states, her eyes closing a bit as she yawns.

"Tired?" You asked, Jinx nodding as she turned around with her back to you.

"Good, I can't stay up with you again on no sleep." You sighed, wrapping your arm around the girl from behind.

"Hey! You love staying up with me." Jinx defended, giggling as you groaned.

"Hell no. You have way too much energy way too early in the day." You stated, Jinx nodding her head as she knew it was true.

"And tomorrow, we're sleeping in," You state.

"Nothing to do tomorrow and you're now stuck with me." You sigh, Jinx laughing.

"I'm good with that." Jinx smiled, you then closed your eyes as the rain began to fall heavier on the window.

They fell asleep next to each other as the soft noise put them to sleep, the comfort of each other they had missed over the years.

Jinx fell asleep with her head clear as you hugged the girl, to remember this was real.

259 notes · View notes

squackimabird · 12 days

Text

Nightmare II R. George

Pairing: Regina George (2024) x Reader

Warning(s): bus accident, mentions of trauma and therapy

Authors note: something short and cute for you all :)

Summary: Regina has a nightmare about the accident.

Word count: 1.1k

Regina and Cady burst through the doors of the school’s main entrance, their voices echoing through the hallways. The other students followed them outside, eager to witness the encounter between two of the popular girls at North Shore (and film it, of course). Regina stormed away from the school, still shouting at Cady, when suddenly, a vivid yellow blur hurtled towards her from the periphery of her vision.

Regina shot awake as the bus was about to hit her. She immediately shot upright in bed, breathing heavily. Her forehead covered in a small layer of sweat. Who knew Regina George could sweat?

As Regina felt the weight of the blanket on her lap she knew she was safe, in bed. It was a nightmare- it wasn’t real. Not again.

“Gina?” you spoke sleepily as you woke up due to all the movement from Regina’s side.

“Go back to sleep,” Regina said, her voice slightly trembling. She quickly used the blanket to rid herself of the sweat on her forehead. Tears threatened to fall from her eyes, but Regina wouldn’t let them. She didn’t want to worry her girlfriend.

Rubbing the sleep from your eyes, you turned around in bed to face your girlfriend. Due to the darkness, you could only make out her form sitting upright on the bed as her face was turned away from you. Regina then looked over at you and spoke, “It’s nothing, baby. Just a stupid nightmare. Nothing to worry about.”

You, however, could sense that Regina was more affected by this ‘stupid’ nightmare than she let on. You knew she was trying to keep it together instead of breaking in front of you.

"I know it isn’t nothing, Regina. It's okay to admit when something’s wrong, you know?” you said softly while sitting up and placing a gentle hand on Regina's shoulder. As you looked into Regina's eyes, you could see the tears she was holding back.

Regina's facade cracked for just a moment, her eyes betraying a flicker of uncertainty before she quickly regained her composure. "It was a moment of weakness," Regina spoke dismissively, her tone firm as she tried to reclaim her usual confidence.

Her sudden change of tone left you even more confused. It was suspicious. You wondered what could be bothering Regina so much. Determined to find out, you didn't want to pressure her into telling you. Instead, you hoped she would explain once she calmed down. Her body language suggested she was on high alert at the moment.

“You don’t have to pretend with me, baby. Please tell me what’s wrong.” you said as you rubbed Regina’s shoulder, hoping it would help to ground her.

Regina's dismissive facade crumbled at your words, revealing the vulnerability she was trying so hard to conceal as a single tear fell from her eye. “Okay, maybe my dream did freak me out a little." Regina admitted and sighed. Your heart broke at the sight of your sad and crying girlfriend. She didn’t deserve this.

You wrapped your arms around Regina, pulling her close in a comforting embrace. “It's okay, Regina," you murmured softly. "You don't always have to be tough, or whatever. Everyone has moments when they’re not okay. Even the queen bee. And that’s perfectly fine." you reassured your girlfriend as you felt her tears wetting your shirt.

Regina leaned into the embrace, allowing herself to be vulnerable for just a moment. “I just... I don't like feeling powerless and weak," she confessed, her voice barely above a whisper as you gently wiped away some stray tears from her cheeks.

“You're not powerless or weak, Regina. You're a strong, intelligent and powerful woman. Being vulnerable doesn’t invalidate those qualities." you offered words of reassurance and empowerment to your girlfriend.

Regina let out a shaky breath, grateful for the support of her girlfriend. Right now, she allowed herself to let go of the facade and embrace the comfort of being vulnerable with the person she trusted the most.

Silence engulfed the room as the two of you hugged, Regina’s head resting on your shoulder. Allowing herself to relax in your arms, Regina’s breathing slowly got back to normal.

“I dreamed about the accident,” Regina admitted quietly, breaking the silence. This made you frown, the accident was months ago.

“Is this the first time you had a nightmare about the accident?” you questioned.

Silence followed your question. That gave you everything you needed to know. “It’s not, is it?” you sighed “You need to tell me when these things happen, Regina.” you told her, hugging her a little tighter at this confession. Now that you knew about your girlfriend's nightmares, you were rightfully worried about her.

Regina nodded against your shoulder, a weight lifting from her chest as she finally shared her burden with you. “I’m sorry, I didn’t want to worry you and be a burden to you,” she murmured.

“It’s okay, Gina,” you whispered, pressing a gentle kiss to her forehead. “I’m here for you, always. You’ll never be a burden to me.”

Regina squeezed you tightly, her gratitude evident in the way she clung onto you like a koala. “Thank you,” she whispered, her voice barely audible in the quiet of the room.

“We should try and get some more sleep, don’t you agree?” you asked Regina, pulling away from the embrace, causing Regina to whine at the loss of contact.

“Will you hold me?” Regina asked, her voice hopeful. As if you’d ever deny her.

“Of course, my love,” you smiled and laid back down on the bed. “C’mon, lay down,” you said, patting your chest.

Regina didn’t hesitate to lay down, snuggling into your chest. She sighed in content as she found a comfortable position on your chest.

“Goodnight, my love,” you murmured softly, feeling her relax against you as you rubbed small circles on her back.

“Goodnight, baby,” Regina replied, her voice laced with warmth and affection.

As you thought about your girlfriend, you realized she probably needed to go to therapy to deal with the trauma of the accident. However, you decided that it was something you'd discuss with her tomorrow. She’d probably refuse, but you were determined to try nonetheless. Until then, you’d try to support her to the best of your ability. Now it was time to get some rest.

It didn’t take long before the two of you dozed off. This time, Regina slept peacefully and dreamed about her girlfriend- and so did you.

347 notes · View notes

squackimabird · 12 days

Text

World Burn

synopsis: nobody messes with regina george

pairing: regina George x fem!reader

words: 1.5k+

A/N - inspired by the bikeriders. this is an au. if you would like to know more about the au please ask :)

WARNINGS - violence, threats and arson

the human body is so incredibly fragile. it's actually rather pathetic. as it crumbles so easily under a little pressure. bruises are so common. even paper can be dangerous. and it was never more evident as you were being helped up the stairs towards her office. part of you couldn't help but wonder how you got into this mess in the first place. the other? well, that worried about whether she would be mad at you.

the stairs feel so much longer when you struggle with each step. the twang of metal so much louder as your footfalls against the surface. it almost felt like a miracle when you reached the top. stumbling into her office, you're basically dragged to the couch against the far wall.

"What happened?" you can't tell how she's feeling. is that concern? anger? she's rather neutral

"We just found her like this,"

"saw a couple cars drive away though,"

they place you down carefully. the cool leather of the couch is almost soothing to the touch. your entire body feels numb. weightless even. burning. it hurts to breathe. every rise and fall of your chest sends a sharp jolt through your body. it's a moment before she comes over to you. tall and proud. staring down at you but her intimidating aura soon softens as she falls beside you. A gentle hand is placed below your chin to force you to look at her. "can you tell me who did this?" your eyes meet for a second before you pull away. a small shrug. "Baby," you feel stupid. powerless. like some pathetic little kid. you don't know what happened... well, not exactly. you were jumped by a couple of people when you got home. you don't know who they were or how they got in but you remember red hot pain wash over you afterwards. "please, talk to me," her voice so gentle you'd think it wasn't her. Regina was many things but gentle wasn't one of them. She treated you like you were her entire world but still a world she ruled. she was in charge.

"I'm sorry,"

"what for?" you don't really know. for not fighting back. for not doing something. anything at all. you just took it. you shrug again. Regina pulls you against her. it's supposed to be comforting but with the way your body feels it is sharp. you eventually relax into her. burying your face into her neck. "I'm gonna find who did this." said quietly. "you're safe. I promise." was she trying to convince you or herself?"

It's a couple of days and a lot of painkillers later you're being led down a seedy alleyway. you're mostly fine. lots of bruises, a few scratches and a broken rib but you've gotten over the initial shock. Regina is a step ahead with her hand in yours. Gretchen walks beside her, struggling to keep up with the blonde. those two were inseparable. or more so, Gretchen followed Regina around like a puppy. she basically existed to keep Regina happy. did everything she was told. her right-hand man. next to you was Karen. a little spacey. big heart. Regina had a whole bunch of others who followed her command too but Gretchen and Karen were the only ones who were always by her side. and you too now. kind of. the air is thick with heavy booze. it's far from your usual setting. Regina almost seemed out of place. it was rare she saw to matters herself. normally that was Gretchen's job if it was delicate or she'd delegate to somebody else. today was different apparently. you never came along on jobs either but again today was different. She pushes the door to an almost invisible bar; you'd hardly notice it's there unless you were looking. it's small in size, dingy and dark. mostly empty apart from the bartender and two gentlemen. one face down on a table while the other sipped from a whiskey glass at the bar. the two conscious individuals look your way. you didn't know them but it made you feel uneasy. you squeeze her hand but she either doesn't notice or doesn't care as you parade through the space towards the bartender. a short guy. he gives up the boss's location without hesitation. points to a room in the far corner. you have a bad feeling about this, or maybe the pills weren't sitting right. the blonde barges through the door without a care in the world. it's a small office. a woman sits behind a desk; a guy leaps up as you enter, another just stands beside her. guns raised but not fired. the blonde is entirely unfazed. just marches straight for the desk, dragging you along with her.

"It's okay," a delicate hand shoots up, a message to her men to stand down. "Regina George, to what do I owe this pleasure?" a slow glance up, she wears a playful smile as their eyes meet. She was expecting this encounter. planned it even. they both just stare at each other for a moment. this other woman is pretty up close but hardly stands out amongst the likes of Regina. you have never seen her before. most of the people in this business visited the club if not to party then to speak with Regina. She ran things around here. the head bitch many would say. the new girl has a twinkle in her eye. that fresh off the boat, proud of themselves look that was about to be utterly destroyed

"cute." uttered quietly, the blonde stood a little taller. "Gretchen," Gretchen Weiners comes scurrying along to appear beside you.

"This is Gretchen, say hi Gretchen."

"Hello," Gretchen smiles softly, an awkward little wave.

"and I assume you've already met-" Regina ushers you forward, a possessive hand on your shoulder. you offer a shy smile. "do you wanna tell me what happened?"

you look at Regina through the corner of your eye. Was she talking to you or them? "I don't know what you're talking about," they respond.

"that's okay. I already know," Regina insists with a smile. "I know about everything that goes on around here."

"what's your point?"

"name?"

"cady? Cady heron."

"well, Cady," Regina's voice is slow. "do you have something you would like to say to my girl here?"

Cady stands now as if trying to get on the same level as Regina. she's naturally smaller though so it doesn't quite work. "not that I can think of, so, if you could leave my office."

it's a long tense moment that feels like it may never end. "you're new around here so maybe you just don't know better," the blonde leans in closer now. "but if you ever so much as look at her in the wrong way ever again, I'll break every bone in this pathetic little body of yours, got it?"

"got it," Regina maintains her gaze before turning around with a flick of her long hair.

"is that it?" you ask, hurrying after her.

"you trust me right?"

"of course," you nod quickly.

"she won't come near you again. promise." you want to believe her but she hardly did anything. You have a broken rib and all she did was a little threat that Cady didn't even seem phased by? would that keep her away?

it's strangely beautiful if not a little menacing. the way the red and orange flickers against the night sky. the flames getting bigger. brighter. more powerful. so hot against the skin even as you just stare on. a pair of arms slip around your shoulders enveloping you in their warm embrace. Regina presses up against you from behind. "it's pretty, isn't it?"

you nod a little and she places the most delicate of kisses against your cheek. she'd set the bar on fire. well, not her directly. probably Gretchen or some other no-name follower. and now you were all just watching it burn. "aren't you scared?"

"I doubt Cady has the power for that,"

"no, I mean like- you set the place on fire. the police and firefighters are gonna show up at any minute but everyone is so calm,"a soft chuckle. one you can feel more than hear. Regina was amused, squeezing you a little tighter. "I don't want you to get in trouble,"

"oh baby," a term of endearment but it felt just a little patronising as a hand graced your cheek and moved your head to look at her. "you worry too much, everything will be fine."

"Are there people still inside?" you ask. Regina doesn't answer, just kisses you before letting go and turning back to the fire at hand. it's surprisingly tranquil. no police had come yet. no fire trucks. just the roaring fire. you wonder about Cady still inside. maybe she got out. maybe she was warned. maybe you're just better off not knowing. "it's so hot."

"yeah," a kiss to the back of your head. "I'm also getting hungry- should we get food?" you nod against her. She releases you from her grip and takes your hand instead.

"still feeling sore?"

"a little but I'm okay," you answer.

"you sure? we can head home?"

you shake your head. "let's go out."

Regina presents you with a smile. bright and warm like the fires raging behind her as she leads you off towards the car. you can't help but glance back and look at the flames that quite literally burn for you

161 notes · View notes

squackimabird · 12 days

Text

Summer Secrets

Regina George x Reader

Word Count: 13.2k

Notes: minor homophobia, some angst, cursing, fluff, soft Regina (only for reader), cheating (technicality), takes a lot from the movie but timeline may be different.

Summary: When tasked with showing Cady Heron around school, you two quickly become friends. When Cady comes in contact with Regina George you feel obligated to help her out. Things get complicated from there because you have a soft spot for the mean girl.

An: Full disclosure have never written this much for a single post, but I'm excited to share it with you guys. I hope you like it likes, replies, and reblogs are always appreciated 💜

Masterlist

For some people high school felt like the end-all-be-all of life. It made sense to some extent. Spending your formative years locked in a building with other hormonal youths forced to participate in some social hierarchical bullshit that only benefited the one percent, sounds like a nightmare. If you were lucky enough to do well, you’d get to spend some time as one of the top one percent. However, any wrong turn and you’d be remembered for whatever mistake you made for the rest of your school career.

It sounds over dramatic (cause it is), but it’s true. It’s your junior year in high school and people are still calling Janis Ian a pyro lez. On the other side of things, Regina George still enamored people. Many people fade in and out of popularity but not Regina. She held her crown in an iron clad grasp and would die before she let it slip.

You didn't really understand how Regina became popular. As far as you were concerned popular meant well-liked, but it didn't seem like anyone genuinely liked Regina other than Gretchen and Karen. Regina was cruel, but she was pretty and had money which in some convoluted way made her the queen bee.

You didn't play into the social dynamics of North Shore. You weren't some outcast or loner who was proud of being different, you weren't a nerd who got bullied by jocks, and you were not some popularity-obsessed junkie. You were just a person.

Someone who went to classes, ate lunch, then went to more classes, and subsequently left the school premises. So, while the school might have been a magnet for chaos, you felt like your experience was pretty normal.

Unfortunately, the normal way you went through school was about to drastically change.

For some unknown reason you had been selected to give a new student a tour of the school.

“Alright Katy this is Y/n, she’s going to be showing you around today. You got the same classes and lockers close enough together so, be friends or something and have a nice day,” principal Duvall was quick to usher you two out of his office.

“My name’s Cady by the way not Katy,” she broke the silence as she followed you down the hallway.

You stopped in front of her locker, “Welcome to North Shore Cady, try not to get sucked in to all the chaos.”

The girl gulps as she places her belonging in the locker, “Chaos?”

You take in her appearance, and she shifts under your gaze, “North Shore is kind of like that scene from High School Musical where they’re dancing in the cafeteria singing about the status quo. You seem like a sweet girl Cady, and the last thing you need to do is find yourself with a label on your forehead.”

Cady hears what you say, but she’s stuck on the fact that you called her a sweet girl, “I’ve been home schooled my entire life and now I feel like I’m being tossed to the wolves.”

You laugh, “I’d say that’s a pretty accurate analogy. As your guide, I can try to keep you out of the drama, but you are a new student, so you’ll get some kind of attention.”

You take Cady to homeroom and have her sit by you before class starts. You make a little small talk with her, until you’re interrupted.

“Y/n, who’s the new girl?” Janis plops directly behind you.

“Cady, this is Janis.”

Before Cady could speak to the goth girl, Damian interjects, “Is that your natural hair color? It’s gorgeous.”

Again, before the girl can speak for herself, the boy takes some of her hair in his hand, “See, this the color I want.”

Janis swats his hand out of Cady’s hair, “Sorry about that, Damian is too gay to function sometimes. He’s not the best with boundaries.”

The conversation doesn’t go any further as Ms. Norbury walks in. Ms. Norbury’s attempt at introducing Cady goes comically bad, but it’s not something that she harps on for long before starting class.

The rest of the classes seem to go by quickly and soon it’s time for lunch. You can see Cady’s head spinning as she looks at all the cliques.

“Who do you usually sit with?”

You shrug, “I usually don’t eat in here, it’s super stuffy. But if I do it’s usually either with the stoners or the art kids.

You stand quietly in line before Cady speaks up again, “What’s your label?”

“I don’t have one. I’m not some outcast or jock or anything like that. I’m an actual human being and labels are overrated.”

She nods slowly smiling, “That’s pretty cool.”

One you both gather lunch you go and sit at the edge of the stoner table. You give some greetings before turning your full attention to Cady.

“Ok, don't freak out but I won't be here tomorrow. So, you’re going to be on your own,” you break the news to the ginger.

She falters a bit, “Oh okay.”

You see her eyes land on Janis and Damian.

“Be careful with those two.”

Her eyebrows furrow, “Why they seem cool?”

You elaborate, “They are cool, but they have labels and roles to fit in to. They’ve got an affinity for ditching class and making up schemes. So don’t get sucked in to that stuff alright?”

Cady nods and then you see her eyes sparkle, “Who is that?”

You follow her line of sight and find yourself in a brief staring contest with the school’s queen bee. Your eyes dance over her features and time seems to slow down for a moment, until she finally looks away from you.

“That’s Regina George.”

“She seems important,” Cady says, noting how everyone around seems preoccupied with her.

You counter, “She carries herself that way, so no one really questions it. Regina is the most popular girl in school. The two with her are Gretchen and Karen. Some people call them The Plastics.”

“Got it, so I should steer clear?”

You shrug, “She’s a massive deal and some people would grovel for even a minute with her. She’s got a lot of influence around here. So, I would just say be careful of interacting with her. She’s as mean as she is pretty.”

“I don’t get it.”

You sigh, “It’s nuanced. You shouldn't be seeking out interactions with her but trust me you don't want to turn her away or brush her off if she approaches you. She can ruin the rest of your time here, so careful of her.”

One last time you look in Regina’s direction to see her laughing at some poor kid.

Cady sees this but decides against questioning it. The rest of the day goes by quickly and by the end of the day, you might just consider Cady your friend. You exchange numbers and tell her to make good choices in your absence.

It was some time the following night that you got a text from Cady.

Cady: I think I messed up today.

Y/n: What happened?

Cady: I got invited to sit with the Plastics.

The text conversation ends there as you can’t help but call the girl. She picks up immediately and starts rambling about her day. You silently listen from the other end of the line, almost in disbelief that all of that could happen in one day.

“So, you got encouraged to sit with Regina and her friends by Janis and Damian, who also made you skip class,” you try to follow.

“Yes.”

You continue, “And you have a crush on Aaron, from Calc?”

Cady blushes on the other line, “I don’t know? I just think he’s cute.”

You run a hand over your face, “Jesus Christ Cady, I’m gone for one day and this is what you get in to, Aaron is Regina’s ex."

She scrambles over the phone, “I don’t know it just happened. What do I do Y/n?”

“Tomorrow’s Wednesday, so the best advice I can give to you is wear something pink,” you joke over the line.

“Damian is letting me borrow his shirt.”

You couldn’t contain your laughter.

“It’s not funny, Y/n,” she whines.

“Tell him to keep the shirt. You can borrow something from me instead.”

Cady is grateful but she has a curious tone as she asks, “You don’t seem like the pink wearing type.”

You speak coyly, “What have I been saying about labels Cady? You can’t put me in a box. Fun fact pink is one of my favorite colors.”

Cady’s next words are hesitant, “Maybe if you wear something pink too, they’ll let you sit too.”

“Cady, I have no desire to sit with Regina and her friends, but I don’t want to throw you to the wolves without at least trying to save you. So, for you, I’ll wear the pink, but that doesn’t necessarily mean they’ll let me sit.”

“Thank you, thank you, thank you,” Cady praises you over the phone.

You chuckle, “Anything else?”

“Nothing that I can think of. You’re the best Y/n, I’ll see you tomorrow. Goodnight.”

You smile, “Goodnight, Cady."

When the conversation ends you get out of your bed and head for your closet. For the most part it was filled with t-shirts, jeans, sweaters, and the occasional formal attire. You have to go deep into the back of it to actually find what you’re looking for.

You’re hesitant to pull it off the hanger. It’s a simple pink bomber jacket. It’s cute and the material is soft. Cady could wear it. The one thing that gives you great pause about letting her borrow it, is that the jacket had been gifted to you by Regina George.

You had grown up in North Shore, so you were always aware of Regina George. You’d gone through school together, even sharing some classes together. All this to say you knew the girl’s character. She had always been mean.

It was 2 years ago when your parents decided that a family vacation during the summer would be good for everyone in the house. You weren't complaining, it was good to get out of the city.

Your parents had gone all out and rented out a beach front property for the 3 months you had away from school. It was a gorgeous property, and you often found yourself enjoying the scenery.

The last thing you expected to see was Regina George. Yet coincidentally the home your folks rented was right next to a property owned by Regina’s family.

You didn’t have any need to acquaint yourself with her. So, for a few weeks into the vacation, you didn’t approach her. That didn’t stop you from looking at her. You always knew she was gorgeous, but it was a shame her personality didn’t match.

Eventually your staring caught her attention.

“Y/n, right?”

You frown as the sun you were using to read is blocked. You look up to see Regina standing in front of you. Her blue eyes pierce yours curiously.

“Yep, how can I help you?”

“Why so formal?”

You finally meet her eyes, “Well you are the most popular girl in our grade.”

Regina’s eyes divert from yours, “We aren’t in school right now.”

You nod, “You’re right. So, I can just tell you to fuck off.”

She sets up her things next to yours, “You could, but who says I will listen.”

You laugh a bit, “What do you want, Regina?”

She sighs, “Is it a crime to want some company?”

“It’s not,” you answer, before returning to your book.

“I haven’t seen you here before. I come every summer,” Regina tries for small talk.

You sit the book down and give the girl your full attention.

“My parents saved up to rent out a beach front property this summer. They said it’s good for family bonding,” you say.

“I’ve only really seen you,” Regina comments.

You shrug, “My parents are enthralled with each other. They’re rediscovering how much they love each other. Where are your parents?”

You see her shift under your gaze, “My dad is on some business trip or something and my mom is out somewhere with my little sister.”

That first interaction spurred on by Regina started something of a summer friendship. You had no expectations of keeping it when the summer ended. So, when she came to you nervous one of those summer nights saying that it was better not to interact at school, you weren’t surprised.

You told her you expected this from her and that it was fine, but that maybe you could continue this friendship next summer. That night she hugged you for what seemed like forever as an apology.

When school started back it was like you were strangers. You were surprised to receive some texts from her here and there. You’d always answer, and you’d be lying if you weren’t looking forward to summer.

When the next summer rolled around, as soon as your feet hit the sand you were nearly knocked to the ground. The queen bee locked her hands behind your neck and her legs wrapped around your waist.

“You miss me or something, Gina?”

“You have no idea, how much I’ve been looking forward to it.”

She pulls away to look at you but doesn’t unhook her legs from your face. The two of you stare at each other for a moment before you clear your throat. She drops down smiling innocently as a blush spread across your face.

“You look good,” Regina comments.

Your hand scratches the back of your neck, “Puberty or whatever, I guess.”

Her hand finds yours, “So what’re we doing first?”

Last summer was different than the first. It didn’t feel like you were further expanding the friendship, it felt like you were building something different with Regina.

Those suspicions were confirmed when her lips met yours one night when you both were watching the waves.

“You aren’t supposed to kiss me, Gina,” you whisper against her lips.

“Why not?”

You open your eyes to look into hers, “Because when we go back to North Shore, I’m going to miss this.”

She pulls away, “I’m sorry, I just-”

You chase her until her back is flat on the sand. You hover over her lips, before pecking them, “Be mine for this summer Gina.”

You can see the sadness in her eyes as she speaks, “I’m going to break your heart, Y/n.”

Your hand cups her face, “I know, but that’s not your problem.”

Regina shakes her head, “I care about you, Y/n. I don’t want-"

“Just let me down gently baby,” you plead with her.

She sees the desperation in your eyes as they search hers. Regina didn’t want to hurt you, she needed you to stay away from her. For once in her life, she was thinking about the consequences of her actions. However, pushing you away was not an option.

She captured your lips again. You deserved more, but you were begging for her. All she could do was keep her promise and let you down gently.

You thought you had prepared yourself for the summer to end. That was far from the truth because when you woke up the day before you left, Regina was already gone.

You thought she left without saying goodbye. You were wrong. When you went to the patio of your summer home, you found her goodbye. She left you her jacket, a letter, and a seashell necklace.

The letter itself had a few tear stains on it that made it hard to read. You didn’t think Regina was the type to put pen to paper, but you were used to being surprised by her.

I’ve tried writing this a bunch, but I keep fucking it up. I should’ve started with Dear Y/n or something, but that just didn’t sound right. I’m sorry for so many things, Y/n. You told me to let you down gently and here I am leaving without saying goodbye because I'm selfish. I’m mean, I’m selfish and I’m not good for you. When school starts, I have to uphold this image and as much as I want to say that it’s not me. It’s not true. I’m that girl that you know back home, but here with you… I feel this responsibility to be better. This summer meant everything to me. Every moment with you meant everything to me. I wish we could stay here because I’ve never been happier. I will never be happier then I was here with you. I don’t deserve to be. I hope this was gentle enough, baby.

Love,

Your Gina

Reading the letter stirs a plethora of emotions through your system. You let Regina break your heart and you hadn’t faced her since. The thought of getting close to her at school scared you. You knew the girl you had feelings for didn't exist during this time of year and if you got in her way, she’d surely take you down.

The next day you find yourself wearing a pink tank top mostly covered by your black zip-up hoodie. You send Cady a picture of the jacket advising her to find something that matched.

You arrive on campus and patiently wait for Cady to show up.

“Pink might be your color Y/n.”

You roll your eyes, “Shut up Janis and what are you planning with Cady and Regina?”

“I can't shut up and explain at the same time so…”

“I’m serious Janis. Cady is fresh meat for someone like Regina.”

Janis claps her hands together gleefully, “Fresh meat or a blank canvas. Regina stood up for Cady yesterday, which means she's taken an interest in her. Queen bee sees potential, which means Cady is either a successor or a threat.”

“Ok, what does any of that have to do with you?”

Damian enters the conversation at that point, “Oh it’s a part of her plan for revenge on Regina.”

Janis smacks the boy a few times. The end up play-fighting before you get between them.

“Enough! Revenge for what exactly?”

Janis’s eyes darken, “That information is classified I'm afraid.”

You glare back at her, “You shouldn’t drag Cady into this.”

Now it’s Janis who rolls her eyes, “If she wants to help out a friend who am I to stop her.”

You get up as soon as you spot Cady. With one final look back to Janis you say, “Friends don’t use each other in revenge plots.”

Cady’s outfit was simple, but cute and the jacket would go perfect with it. You greet her with a smile.

“Nervous?”

“More than I was on the first day,” she frowns.

You grab her by the shoulders and shake her a bit, “You got this and even if it flops, you have me ok. The biggest thing to remember is you have to be yourself alright?”

“Janis and Damian said I shouldn’t be myself around The Plastics,” Cady put her head down.

“Hey, look at me. You don’t need to try to fit in with them. Regina invited you to sit, which means she wants you there. Think about it like that,” you try to ease her nerves.

She nods, giving you a small smile in return, “That makes sense. Oh shit, they’re looking at me. Do you have the jacket?”

You turn to find Regina and her clique looking curiously in Cady’s direction. Quickly you pull the jacket out of your bag. Cady reaches for it, and you pull it back slightly.

“This jacket is important to me, ok? I need it back at the end of the day,” you warn her.

Cady’s attention stays on the popular girls until she sees Regina’s gaze shift towards you. Again, the two of you are in an intense staring contest.

“I’ll give it back to you at the end of the day,” Cady repeats.

You hand her the jacket and go to walk off. Her arm catches your wrist, and you turn around. It’s a bit too fast and the girl almost falls, so you steady her.

“Careful,” you scold her lightly.

Her voice is light as she questions you, “Where’re you going?”

“To my locker?” You say curiously.

“Well, mine is close to yours so I didn’t really expect you to- sorry it’s silly. You go, I’ll see you-”

This time it’s her that goes to pull away. You drop your hand into her’s leading her towards the lockers.

“No, you’re right. Sorry, I’m just kind of used to doing my own thing. It makes complete sense for us to go together.”

“I didn’t mean to make a big deal out of it,” she apologizes.

Your hand lets go of hers as you get in front of your locker, “No big deal, let’s just get through today.”

Lunch comes sooner than you want it to. You try to hide your nerves for Cady’s sake. She approaches Regina’s table with you not too far behind her.

Before she sits down, she clears her throat and looks at Regina, “H-hey it’s cool if not, but I was wondering if my friend Y/n could sit here maybe?”

Gretchen goes on some tangent about it being disrespectful to ask and says that Cady should be disinvited just for even bringing it up, “I mean who do you even think you are?”

“Are you done Gretchen?” Regina replies not even looking at the girl.

“I- I,” she stutters and sits silently in defeat.

Regina eyes look at Cady as if she’s bored, “Is she at least wearing pink?”

You unzip your jacket revealing the pink tank top underneath. Regina looks briefly at shirt before letting out an exasperated sigh, “Only today.”

The answer shocks Gretchen and Karen, but they don’t say it. Cady sits at the edge of the table while you decide to sit next to Karen, in a way that separates you from the main group.

“Cute jacket. Where’d you get it?” Regina says to Cady.

The question alone makes the food on the lunch tray unappealing to you.

Cady answers seamlessly, “It was a gift.”

It’s a good save. If it hadn’t been Regina’s jacket it would have been the perfect lie. The blonde lets it go with a hum before she starts diving into the stereotypical gossip of the school.

It’s hard being this close to her. You had done what you could to stay away from her at school, but here you were sitting across from her trying your best not to stare.

Gretchen goes on explaining the rules of The Plastics to Cady for what felt like forever. You mindlessly scroll through your phone wishing the lunch period would end.

Cady definitely didn’t need you here. You had decided that you were going to leave the table, but before you did, you felt her eyes on you. It was like you were glued to the seat.

“So, we’re going to my house after school to study. Cady are you in or out?” Regina asks, but it’s really a demand.

“Yeah, for sure I’m totally in,” she says excitedly.

“One day offer loser, are you in?” Regina looks at her nails, but it’s clear she’s talking to you.

Gretchen speaks up again, “Regina you can’t be serious? Sitting with us was one thing, but-”

“I’m sorry, was I talking to you Gretchen?” Her voice was ice cold.

Cady looks at you with eyes that were basically saying ‘pretty please’.

“I’m in,” you say against your gut feeling.

Once lunch is over you all disperse. Cady corners you before you go to your next class, “Oh my god that went so well. Regina even asked us to come over.”

You bury your head in your hands, “What have I just agreed to?”

“Hey, this is a good thing, right? If it's not its only one hangout,” Cady’s hand finds your shoulder giving you comfort.

“You’re right, it’s just- Regina’s kind of intimidating up close,” You mumble.

Cady nods, “Very intimidating. Did something happen between the two of you?”

You make a face that creases your eyebrows, “Who? Me and Regina.”

“Yeah, I've seen you staring at each other, and it just feels like tension,” Cady says.

You avoid the truth skillfully, “Well, I've known Regina a long time. I’ve seen what she's capable of. It’s pretty scary. It’s not really staring on my part more like freezing in fear.”

“She can’t be that bad. I think she’s kind of sweet,” Cady admits.

You shake your head, “What did I tell you before Cady? Regina George is mean.”

Cady scoffs, “Everybody keeps saying that, but no one is giving me any examples.”

“Watch her the rest of the day, you'll get it then,” you say knowing that Regina couldn't go too long without letting her mean streak show.

It didn’t take long for Cady to see what you were talking about. Regina treated their peers like they were beneath her at every chance she got.

When your last class was over, you both made your way to Regina’s jeep. Cady is stopped on the way by Janis and Damian. You decide against staying for that conversation. You expect the ginger will catch up to you.

When you get to the car Regina is already there waiting. It is slightly strange seeing her without a boy or her friends. Cautiously you approach her, but not to close. You keep your head down as you stand what you deem as near enough to her car.

“Get in,” she says after an awkward silence.

Your hand barely touches the door to the back before she speaks up again, “The front seat.”

This causes you to look up at her, but she’s already making her way around to the driver’s side. You follow her orders and get in the passenger seat next to her.

You can’t remember the last time you felt this fidgety. Your hand finds a spot firmly on your knee to keep it from bouncing out of control.

“You gave her the jacket,” It’s small when she says it.

It’s a challenge for you, but you make eye contact with her, “She’s just borrowing it. I would never give it away. “

The conversation dies there as Karen, Gretchen, and Cady arrive at the jeep.

“Regina, why is she in my spot?” Gretchen complains about your presence once again.

You start to remove the seatbelt to get in the back, but Regina’s hand grabs your wrist.

“Gretchen, when did you start asking more than 2 stupid questions a day? Nothing in my car belongs to you. If she were in the driver's seat, I would expect you to get in and shut the fuck up. So, get in the back and stop being so annoying.”

You could see Gretchen shrink under Regina’s words. Part of you feels bad for her, she was just acting in the way Regina usually would approve of. You were already making things complicated when they didn’t have to be.

The rest of the girls pile into the back of the jeep and it’s awkward for a moment, but eventually the chatter starts naturally. Once again you feel out of place.

You can’t stop thinking of the feeling of Regina’s hand on your wrist. Her skin on yours provides you with a sense of comfort. It’s almost like you were remembering that you knew what she felt like. You’re craving her touch; the thought alone makes your face burn with embarrassment.

Pulling up to Regina’s house feels surreal. It’s bigger than you thought. It almost felt wrong to go inside. Regina ushers everyone upstairs quickly trying to avoid her mother. You move the quickest, slightly afraid that Mrs. George might recognize you from the summer. Cady takes time to properly greet the woman.

If being in her house felt wrong being in her room felt even more invasive. It’s as pink as you imagined it be, but not in a childish way.

This is when Cady tries to fold you into the conversation, “Y/n, actually really likes pink.”

It’s so sudden having all the girls look to you for conformation. You try to regain your usual attitude, rather than the bundle of nerves you've become today.

“I think it's pretty cool,” You shrug.

Karen’s eyes widen, “You talk?”

You laugh as the other girls roll their eyes, “Yes, Karen I talk.”

“Well, you haven't said anything this whole time so how was I dose to know,” she tilts her head to the side.

She has a good point. From that point you try to engage me with the girls. It isn't so bad. The more you talk with the others the more you begin to relax.

That was until Mrs. George came upstairs with snacks. You excuse yourself to the restroom. It isn't until you’re out of the room that you realize you have no idea where it is.

“Follow me,” Regina appears from seemingly thin air.

You follow her and the two of you end up in front of the bathroom door. You stand there not saying anything to each other.

“Well, are you going to go?”

“I don’t actually have to go, I was just saying that to leave the room in case your mom recognized me,” you explain.

Regina nods, “Right makes sense."

Another long pause.

“I’m sorry, for coming here Gi- Regina. I was just trying to be there for Cady,” you don't look at her as you speak.

“Looking out for your new girlfriend, I get it,” there’s some venom in her tone.

“She’s not- I’m not into Cady.”

Regina falters, “It’s not my business, I shouldn’t have assumed.”

That was her way of apologizing. You don’t know what else to say. Your eyes linger on her, taking in her appearance this close.

“Stop looking at me like that,” she says before heading back in the direction of her room.

You sigh, “You look good, Regina.”

That seems to stop her in her tracks. She turns to face you again, “You can't say stuff like that.”

You take the opportunity to joke, “Do I need to say you look so totally fetch instead or…?”

She rolls her eyes playfully, “You’re annoying you know that.”

It’s completely different than how she said it to Gretchen. For this small instance in the hallway, she sounds like your Gina. It makes your heart flutter but sickens you all at the same time.

Re-entering Regina’s room you see the girls looking at a weird book. You see the shift in Regina’s features instantly, “Why is that out here? “

“Your mom thought it would be funny,” Karen answers, flipping through the pages.

You can't help but read one of the pages aloud, “Ms. Norbury is a PUSHER, a SAD OLD DRUG PUSHER.”

The book is filled with girls from school, it’s surprising you had escaped the pages. It’s then you’re reminded just how effortlessly cruel Regina could be.

Janis's revenge plot was starting to make more sense. You hated to agree, but maybe she needed a fall from grace.

“I have to go,” you say gathering you're things.

Regina moves to block your exit. She looks at the rest of girls like they’re idiots, “Why aren't you guys grabbing your shit? She has to go that means you all have to.”

The girls scramble to pick up their stuff. Regina grabs her car keys from the vanity, signaling that she was doing drop offs.

She takes Gretchen home first, then Karen, next is Cady. You notice Cady doesn't have on your jacket when you get a glimpse of her. Slight panic bubbles inside of you. If she left it at Regina’s, you'd likely never see it again. You get a text as you come to this realization.

Cady: The jackets in your backpack

Y/n: Cool thanks

When Regina parks in front of Cady’s house you say goodbye and tell her to text you later. When she leaves the car, the energy shifts drastically.

You knew Regina did this intentionally as your house was only a block over from hers. It would've made sense to take you first, but she waited to have you alone in this moment.

“Can we talk?” You see her hands tightly grip the steering wheel.

“Well now is as good as it's going to get, isn’t it?” You say picking at the sleeves of your sweater.

Regina sighs, “You were never this timid on the beach.”

“You and I both know you're a different person there. I never thought I’d be in this situation with you here, forgive me if I’m cautious around the queen bee,” you rebuttal.

Her grip tightens, “You’re scared of me.”

You shake your head, “I’m not scared of you, Gina.”

“Then why?”

You look out of the window, “I’m scared of the way you make me feel. I look at you and all of a sudden, I want to be back on that beach. This is as close as we’ve been during the school year, and I can’t make a habit of this. You let me down gently, but that doesn’t mean my heart isn’t broken.”

“I told you,” it’s a whisper from the blonde.

“I would do it all over again,” you still can’t look at her.

Regina feels herself losing her composure. Before she can drive any further, she pulls over in a random parking lot. She shakes her head as tears build behind her eyes.

“You’re not supposed to say shit like that, Y/n. It’s cheesy and overplayed. It’s something you say to people that you care about, and you shouldn't care about me,” she begins to breathe heavily.

“Gina-"

Her hands find her hair as a groan leaves her, “I hurt you Y/n and you just let me. Why don’t you hate me?”

Your hands reach for hers. She lets you pull them from her scalp.

“Regina, I’m not some stranger you met on vacation 2 years ago. I grew up here, with you. I knew what I was getting into. I did it anyway,” your thumb runs over her knuckles.

“You didn't want more?”

Your eyes soften, “I wanted you in every way you’d allow me to have you, Gina. You weren’t just some summer fling to me. It’s just- I knew you'd never go for that. You have this image to uphold, and I fuck it up.”

“You shouldn’t care about my image. You should be calling me a coward and a liar. I don’t get why you haven’t even tried to expose me,” she goes on.

“I don't care about school politics,” you say.

She sounds desperate as she speaks, “But I do, and you could ruin me.”

Against your better judgment your hand caresses her cheek. She looks up at you and you lean forward.

“I gain nothing from hurting you Gina,” your lips graze hers as you speak.

“Fuck it,” Regina closes the gap between the two of you.

Her lips against yours feels better than you remember. Neither of you are eager to pull away. When you do your forehead rests against hers.

“I was so stupid thinking I could stay away from you,” Regina says trying to catch her breath.

“I missed you too,” you tell her.

“We have to figure this out. I’m not ready to… show this side of myself to the school, but I need you,” Regina admits.

You shrug your shoulders, “We could sneak around. No one has to know.”

She searches your face, “Are you sure?”

You nod, “Positive.”

People often make jokes about famous last words, but that honestly felt like yours. Life became a lot more hectic after you suggested that arrangement between you and Regina.

A lot of it was a blur as she began to pull you into the janitors closet whenever she got the chance. Sometimes for talking and sometimes to makeout.

Off campus you would find yourself at the blonde’s house quite often. The two of would hang out in her room for hours. On occasion she would borrow her mom’s car to take your somewhere out of the city.

While things were going great for you with Regina. Cady was slowly but surely making her move on Aaron. You didn't think it was wise, but if it made her happy, then you supported it.

Cady had also kept her seat with Regina and friends. It seemed like she was finally progressing towards actually becoming a member of their clique.

You hadn’t been around much, but you hoped this meant Cady was done with whatever Janis had been planning. Playing both sides wouldn’t be good for her.

“Are you going to Chris Eisel's Halloween party?” Cady asks as she goes through her locker.

“Probably, everyone is going.”

She nods her head, “I think I'm going to try to get with Aaron at the party.”

Your eyes widen, “I don't know if that's a good idea.”

Cady dismisses your warning, “Regina and I are cool now. I think I'm going to tell her I like him and see if it's ok that I take my chance.”

You look at her as if she was crazy, “Cady getting with the queen bee's ex-boyfriend is not smart. Telling her about it beforehand only gives her prep time to take you down.”

“It will be fine.”

You knew that it, in fact, would not be fine. Your suspicions were confirmed later in the day when you were in Regina’s room.

The blonde paces back and forth silently. There’s a scowl on her face. You let her try to cool down for nearly 15 minutes, but at this rate there would be a hole in the floor where she walked.

“So, you talked to Cady,” you lightly poke the bear.

“Who does she think she is? I let her into the most influential group at the school and now she wants to fuck my ex. If she gets with Aaron there’s a chance that I look like an idiot,” Regina was furious.

“How would that make you look bad? You dumped him, right?” you try to follow.

“It makes it look like I’d allow anyone to have the things that I have. Dating Aaron would push her up the social ladder. Being one of us and dating him would make her more popular than me,” she says it like it’s obvious.

“Right,” you’re still confused.

Regina groans before finally sitting on her bed next to you, “You wouldn’t get it. You’re not into the school politics or whatever it is you say.”

You wrap your arms around the blonde and she leans back into your touch, “Just try not to destroy her too bad, ok? She’s, my friend.”

“I’m going to put that ginger bitch in her place,” she threatens.

You sigh, but there’s not much else you can do. You warned Cady that this was a bad idea.

“No more talking about Cady. We have episodes of Malcolm in the Middle to watch,” you kiss the top of her head.

“You’re right, I don’t want her cutting into our time together,” she places a kiss to the side of your jaw.

You knew that whatever happened at that party would be bad, but for now you decided to ignore it for now. In hindsight, it was a mistake. It was almost as if all the time you were spending with Regina made you forget that when everything was said and done, she was mean.

The party’s already in full affect when you get there. It’s almost impossible not to spot Cady in her costume.

“I see you went for the scary over sexy look,” you shout so that she can hear you.

“I thought this is what they meant by costume. Not just a pair of mouse ears,” you can barely make out what she’s saying over the giant plastic teeth.

You laugh, “Well I think it’s pretty cool for what it’s worth.”

“Thanks, I hope Aaron thinks so too. Who are supposed to be?”

You pull out your tiny comb and run it through your hair, “Well me sweetheart, I’m grease lightning.”

She giggles at your antics, “I don’t why, but that makes sense for you.”

You chat with Cady enjoying the party atmosphere until you get a glimpse of Regina, “Wow.”

Cady turns her attention to the blonde, “She looks amazing. Is she-”

“An angel,” you finish Cady’s thought.

Cady watches as your eyes rake Regina’s entire form, “I’ve never seen you look like such a fan of hers before.”

It’s a task as you tear your eyes away from Regina, “I’ve said it a million times Cady. She’s mean, but damn she's pretty.”

“I’m going to go say hi, I’ll be right back.”

You don’t stay to watch the interaction between the two girls opting to get a drink from the kitchen instead.

In the kitchen your quest for a drink is postponed as you see Karen standing on the table, looking as if she was going to fall. In typical North Shore fashion, instead of helping her down people are recording her.

You take it upon yourself to walk over and extend your hand to the girl. She takes it gratefully, but still manages to trip on her way down. You’re reflexes work fast to catch her, and steady her on the ground.

“Y/n, you saved me,” she giggles and jumps up and down a few times.

You laugh with your response, “I did, but be careful next time I might not be around.”

“I was trying to find Gretchen,” the girl frowns.

You sigh, trying to figure out if you really want to take on this task. One look at Karen’s wobbly stance, and you take her hand.

“Let’s find her.”

It takes you longer than expected to find Gretchen. When you get a glimpse of her, she’s yelling at Jason over who knows what. You see if you wait it out if it will end, but it doesn’t. So instead, you decide to interrupt anyway.

“Gretchen!” Karen exclaims as you get closer to the girl with the loose curls.

“Karen was looking for you,” you tell her nonchalantly.

Gretchen looks at her clearly drunk friend and then back to the boy she was arguing with. She points her finger at him, “This isn’t over.”

She then takes Karen by the arm and begins to drag her away, “Bye Y/n.”

Gretchen turns back to you for a quick moment mouthing ‘thank you’ before she goes to take care of Karen.

You’re basically back to the middle of the party. You look for Cady and spot her standing still across the room. Her chest heaves up and down rapidly as she clutches her hand over it.

You follow her line of sight and feel your heart break in your chest. Regina and Aaron are locked in an enthusiastic kiss. Tears threaten to spill from your eyes, but you hold them at bay. You make your way over Cady deciding that the party is over for the both of you.

Your presence takes her out of her trance, “Let’s go.”

She looks over to see Regina looking right at her. Cady doesn’t hesitate to follow your lead out of the party. It’s not until Regina realizes that you’re the one taking Cady, that the blonde regrets her actions.

You don’t know how you end up and Janis’s place, but you do. Janis and Damian are watching some old Halloween movie in her garage. Cady starts telling the art kids what happened at the party. Janis springs up from her seat quickly comforting the girl.

You take this opportunity to sit next to Damian. Its then that you learn that Cady didn’t actually know why Janis wanted revenge. You find out some details you didn’t know either, despite being there for the debacle.

“Now you know that Regina George is not your friend, we’re your friends and we’re going to make her pay,” Janis says with her eye twitching.

“Pause, why are you here Y/n?” Damian acknowledges that you look just as upset as Cady.

You search for an answer, “I brought Cady.”

Janis narrows her eyes at you, “That’s not everything.”

You know you shouldn’t, but as the images of Aaron and Regina cross your mind you can’t hold it in.

Your head falls into your hands, “It’s complicated.”

The moment the two words leave your lips you find yourself telling them everything from the first summer to the recent rendezvous. By the time you're done you’re a mess.

“She told me this would happen, but I didn't listen. I’m so stupid,” you began to get angry at yourself as you harshly wiped your eyes.

“Hey, don't be so hard on yourself,” Janis wraps an arm around.

“And I thought she was cruel before,” Damian looks at you sympathetically.

“She’s not going to get away with this Y/n,” Cady promises.

You shake your head, “Guys, I’m not out for vengeance. I just- it hurts.”

Janis rubs your shoulder a few times, “Don’t worry, we got your back. While Cady focuses on knocking Regina down a peg, Damian and I will make sure she stays away from you.”

Just as the words leave her mouth your phone begins to buzz repeatedly. You peak down at it and can see a bunch of messages from Regina coming through. You reach for it, but Cady takes it and simply flips it over on the table.

“No more, Regina George. “Now, what are we watching,” she says, and you nod gaining back some of your bearings.

So, you spend the rest of your night watching bad horror movies with your friends, trying to keep your mind off of Regina.

The next school day you don’t make it far without feeling a certain pair of eyes on you. Before you can turn to look in her direction Janis and Damian are by your side whisking you into the school building.

“I can’t believe you didn’t like disintegrate under her gaze,” Janis comments.

Damian follows up, “Yeah if looks could kill, you’d probably be dead right now.”

Your gaze stays on the floor, “She can look all she wants as long as she keeps her distance.”

That's basically what transpires your next 6 weeks at school. Janis, Damian, and Cady fail to make any sort of mockery of Regina, the popular girl debuts her rekindled romance, and you fall deeper into your depression.

Regina does try approaching you a few more times, but she consistently gets blocked by Janis, Damian, or Cady, for which you’re grateful. You don’t want to talk to her while she’s busy parading her boy toy around.

Every day is starting to seem longer than the last. You dread stepping on campus, because even if you manage to avoid seeing Regina, she’s all anyone talked about. It was like you were always surrounded by her and it was driving you insane.

It gets to the point where sometimes you periodically skip class, just to walk the empty hallways to get away from her. Skipping class seems to be your downfall as you find yourself being yanked into the janitors closet.

“What the fuck?” Your initial panic only increases when you see Regina blocking the door.

“We need to talk,” Regina says with a sharp tone.

You shake your head, “No we don’t, now let me out of here Regina.”

You try to push past her, but she puts a hand on your chest, “I’ve been trying to talk to you since the Halloween party.”

“For what, Regina? You put Cady in her place just like you said you would. I should've seen it coming,” your words come out harsh.

“I didn’t mean for you to get hurt,” her voice was small when she spoke.

You let out a bitter chuckle, “There was no way I wasn’t going to get hurt. What, you were just going to kiss and date Aaron publicly while keeping me on the side?”

“I don’t care about Aaron, I only care about you,” she shoots back.

“You couldn’t even run it by me. Maybe check to see if I would’ve been ok with it? Regina we were practically dating,” you argue to the girl.

Regina runs a hand through her hair, “I know that. I know I fucked up, I’ve been trying to apologize, to talk to you, but your guard dogs never let me get close.

You scoff, “My friends are protecting me from you.”

Regina sounds incredulous, “So you told them?”

Your hands go up feigning exasperation, “Yes, I told them. I didn’t really have a choice because when I left the party, I was a fucking mess, and they were there for me.”

“It was just a kiss, Jesus Christ you’re acting like I fucked him on the couch,” she complains.

The disbelief in your tone comes out, “You really don’t get it, do you? You want to know why it fucked me up so bad? Despite how mean you are and how vain you can be, I saw something in you. I cut through all the bullshit to find the actual human being with feelings. I got to know you better than anyone else in this hell hole ever will. Underneath all that toxic plastic costume that you wear is the girl that I loved. So, I’m sorry if my hurt feelings are too much for you, but it fucking sucks seeing the person you love kiss someone else.”

You didn't know when you got so close to Regina. The roles had reversed at some point, and you were now the one trapping her against the closet door. Her blue eyes peer into yours looking for any sign of deceit.

“You loved me?”

You close your eyes, “Don’t make me say it again. “

Regina doesn't have the words. She doesn't want to search for them. All she wants to do is kiss you. So, against her better judgment she hurriedly places her lips on yours.

You should push her away, tell her that this isn't an apology. Yet the only thing you can do is wrap your arms around her and pull her into you. The kiss is sloppy, and it sends you both into a frenzy. Neither of you break it even when you both know better.

When the door to the closet is violently yanked open, is when you finally pull away from each other. Aaron stands there looking between yourself and Regina. The blonde yanks the door back shut, and you drop to the floor as embarrassment sets in.

“Fuck, I have to go,” you say trying to pull yourself together.

“You can’t go we haven’t talked,” Regina tries to block you.

This time you’re gentle as you move her aside, “There’s nothing to talk about Gina. You were right, I thought I could handle the heartbreak, but this is too much.”

Leaving the closet your jaw clenches as you see Cady down the hall. Her attention that was on Aaron, shifts to you. Her eyes go wide as she begins to figure out what happened in the closet. You don't give her the chance to comfort you opting to leave the school entirely.

Maybe it was time to embrace the school’s politics. Becoming the outcast, loner, weirdo didn’t sound so bad anymore. Anything to keep you away from The Plastics and The Art Freaks. You didn’t want to deal with either side ever again.

Just like you had done with Regina you ignored all of Cady, Janis, and Damian’s messages. You and the block button had never been any closer. At school you resumed having your lunch outside away from the drama and stuffy cafeteria.

In class you kept your focus on the teacher ignoring any notes or whispers from the trio. It was a challenge, but it was for the best.

You kept your head down when walked the halls and your earbuds in. If you kicked out the outside world then it was like it didn’t exist. You should’ve been paying more attention.

That’s the thought that crosses your mind as you trip right in front of Regina George. You expect to hit the floor dramatically but are surprised when you feel her hands at your waist keeping you upright.

The entire school watches with bated breath waiting for your fate. You too, are curious to see how the queen bee will treat you with the public watching.

“Watch it… loser,” she mumbles, making sure to shove you lightly out of her way.

You can tell her heart isn’t in it, but it looks normal to the public. In some ways it looked like you got a warning, which Regina was kind enough to give to most people.

You didn't dwell on it much. She probably had bigger things to worry about with the talent show happening so soon. The Plastics never missed a year of doing their kind of provocative and surely cringe-inducing dance routine.

Extra credit was being offered in most of your classes for students who went. So, you had decided to go to boost up your grades.

On the night of the talent show, you take a seat in the back row. Most of it is uninspiring. You hate to admit that you really enjoyed Damian’s rendition of the Icarly theme song. It was weird, but in that sort of niche artistic way that made it cool to you.

When The Plastics get on stage you’re surprised to see Cady with them. It was unsurprising to see everyone recording the performance. You’re sure some weirdos would be glad to have that performance at their disposal.

It is more difficult to watch this year than the previous. Something is more off key than usual. When the cartwheel spot is being set up you see Karen’s knee buckle first then Regina slams into the floor.

When she does, the crowd erupts. You shoot out of your seat as well. This is her worst nightmare. In a digital era, there’s no way that this isn’t going to go viral.

You don’t know why you’re running out of the theater, but you are. You didn’t know where to look for her, but she had to come to her car. You stand outside the pink jeep for what feels like an eternity.

In reality, it was only a few minutes before you could make out the figure of the crying blonde. You wait for her to get closer before attempting to say anything.

“Regina-”

She tries snapping at you, but it doesn’t pack much of a punch behind the tears, “It’s pretty funny, isn’t it? I bet you enjoyed every second of it.”

“Give me your keys,” you say without pause.

“What?”

“It’s dangerous to drive under intense emotion. Give me your keys, so I can take you home,” you reiterate.

Regina wants to question it, but she doesn’t want to ruin tonight even more. She put her keys in your hands. You don’t say anything else, simply waiting for her to get in the car.

When she does, you begin driving to her house. You can see her scrolling through her phone, so you snatch it from her at a red light.

“Stop,” you tell her, knowing she’s looking at her viral moment.

When you get to her house you follow her to her room. She faceplants on her bed and you watch as her body begins to vigorously shake with sobs.

You sit next to her your hand rubs her back soothingly, “I’m sorry this happened to you.”

“You’re not happy that your bestie usurped me,” she says sarcastically.

“I haven’t spoken to Cady, since the closet thing happened,” you admit to her.

She wiped her eyes, “Why not?”

“Well Cady’s the one who told Aaron to check the closet,” you tell her.

“That bitch.”

You nod, “Yeah, I know that she and Janis wanted revenge, but that was low.”

Regina’s eyebrow furrows, “What are you talking about?”

You fill her in on everything and you can see her get angrier at every word.

“You didn’t think to warn me?”

You fight back, “Last time I checked they were failing. I wasn’t in on the planning, and I don’t even know all that they did. But also, I don’t owe you anything Regina.”

Her tongue clicks against her cheek, “I guess that’s fair.”

You speak again, “I don’t really know why I’m here if I’m being honest with you. I saw you hit the floor, and I just felt like I needed to be here for you.”

Regina laughs softly, “Even after all of this, you’re still thinking about how I feel.”

You laugh too, “I don’t think I can help it. I mean you are the Regina George, massive deal and all that.”

She shakes her head, “Not after this. I will never be her again.”

“Is that such a bad thing?”

She looks at you, “I mean it doesn’t feel great, to be embarrassed for the whole world to see.”

“Fair point, but what is it they say about the head that wears the crown. Aren’t you a little bit relieved that you don’t have to be perfect anymore?”

She shrugs, “I guess so. My heart hasn’t been inn it since the last time we talked.”

“Regina, I don’t know if now is the time to-"

Her eyes lock on yours, “Please.”

Reluctantly you nod your head.

“I’m not a caring person. I don't usually give a fuck about anything but myself. I’m selfish and ruthless and cruel and mean. I really am everything that these people are saying about me. Except when it comes to you. I care about you more than I’ve cared about anything in a long time.”

She looks at you to make sure you're really hearing her.

“Kissing Aaron was so fucking stupid. I felt threatened by Cady and in truth I acted how I usually would. But I forgot to consider your feelings because I’m not used to considering others. I knew I fucked up and I wanted to fix it, but you were avoiding me. So, I kept the act because if I lost you at least I still had my power.”

“So, you care about your power more than me?”

Regina frowns, “No, I don’t, that’s what I’m trying to say. In that closet when you told me you loved me, it was like everything just clicked into place. We got carried away and then you left, but if you would’ve stayed just a second longer, I could’ve told you I loved you too.”

“Regina-”

“I’m almost done I promise. I could’ve told you any time after the fact, but it felt selfish. I was trying to do the right thing for once. You said that I hurt you too much and you were right. So, I thought it didn’t matter. I still don’t know if it matters, but if this is the last chance I have to say it, Y/n I love you.”

Your heart could come out of your chest at Regina’s admission. You’d love nothing more than to just pull her in and kiss, but something was stopping you.

“I love you too Gina, but what does that mean for us?”

Regina takes your hand in hers, “I want to be with you. Not just on the beach, but here, everywhere.”

You can sense there’s something she wanted to say, “But…”

“But I want to deal with the situation at school first. I want to change, but I still have to be mean for a while. I don't know if you’ll like that side of me,” Regina looks at her bedsheets.

You let a tiny smile come over your features, “I’m not really into school politics. So, I don't mind if you’re still a little mean. As long as you don't care that I want to be by your side.”

Regina has a smile that matches yours, “I like the thought of you by my side.”

“Good, because I don't plan on leaving.”

You can't wait any longer. You take her face in both of your hands and kiss her softly. Regina melts against your lips. It’s not like the kiss in janitors, it’s closer to your first kiss together. There’s a slight hesitation, but it’s not enough to stop.

“I love you,” she says against your lips.

“I love you too.”

You stayed at Regina’s pretty late that night. It was so late that by the time you got home you were exhausted. When your alarm went off in the morning, you snored right through it. You ended up making it to your third period right before the bell rang to start class.

You took your seat next to Cady. Something about her was different. She looks like Regina, more than usual. She wasn't paying any attention during class, to preoccupied with her makeup.

“What’s up with her?” You say to Janis, who sits directly behind you.

“Oh, well hello to you too stranger.”

You roll your eyes, “I’m serious, Janis.”

The artist shrugs, “I don't know. After last night I called game on the revenge, but Cady said she needed one more day.”

You frown, “Is worldwide embarrassment not enough? She’s viral all over the internet for her fall.”

“I thought so, but this is all Cady,” there’s some hint of worry in her tone.

You want to talk to the ginger, but the moment the bell rings she's out of the class. Once you’re out of class you head to the cafeteria for lunch. As you’re standing in line waiting for the food the loud chatter of the cafeteria drops.

You lift your head up to see why; it’s Regina. She’s not in her usual attire opting for something more comfortable, but just as cute in your opinion. She walked over to her usual table but was stopped from sitting.

You couldn't hear the conversation, but you did hear as Regina’s friend yelled, “You can’t sit with us.”

Nobody in the cafeteria moves to make space for the girl. Her mean nature finally biting her in the ass. You set your lunch tray down loudly, causing the attention to shift to you.

You hate the way everyone looks on, as you make your way towards Regina. Standing by her side in front of the entire school felt strange.

You hold your hand out for her to take and she does. You glare hits all the girls’ sitting at The Plastics table before lingering on Cady, “Let’s go outside, it’s stuffy in here anyway.”

Regina let you drag her out of the cafeteria towards the front of the school. You found a shady spot under the tree and sat there.

“You want me to sit on the ground?”

You look at her and then pat your lap, “You could always sit here instead.”

She takes a seat on the grass next to you, “I wouldn’t want to crush you. I’m so fat now.”

You frown and pull the girl into your lap. She squeals and tries to get away, but you lock your arms around her.

“Doesn’t feel like you’re crushing me.”

Regina looks away from you, “I’m wearing these sweats because I can’t fit any of my pants anymore. It doesn't make any sense because all I've been eating are these nasty bars that Cady gave me.”

You take the bar from Regina. The more you examine it the angrier you get.

“Don’t eat anymore of this shit.”

“What’s wrong with them?”

You feel your body growing hot with anger, “These are Kalteen bars. They’re for gaining weight.”

Regina’s facial expression darkens, “What?”

“I’m going to kill her. This is too far,” you start to stand, but Regina stops you.

“I will handle it,” Regina’s calm tone is unnerving, but Cady deserves whatever hell Regina invokes on her for this.

“Ok, but I’m here if you need me,” you squeeze her lightly.

“Thank you, baby. Not just for being here, but for what you did in the cafeteria. I know you don’t like the attention,” she places a kiss on your cheek.

You blush at her praise, “I don’t like it, but I wasn’t going to stand idly by why Cady tried to humiliate you in front of everyone again.”

“I don’t want to talk about her anymore. Karma will get her soon enough and her world will be burnt to a crisp,” Regina’s smile is small yet sadistic.

Maybe a few hours ago you would’ve warned Regina about taking it too far. Potentially you would have said something about the moral high ground. However, upon learning about the weight gaining bars, you decided that Cady needed to be humbled quickly.

You and Regina decide to ditch the rest of the school day. You spend the day at her house watching tv in her bed. It only takes a few episodes before you fall asleep, still feeling some grogginess from your morning.

After a few minutes of your soft snores, Regina begins her plot. She knew this would not only destroy Cady, but the entire population of girls at the school. They deserved it after the talent show and lunch today. If they thought she was a problem when she was mean, nothing could prepare them for when she felt vindictive.

“What’re you doing so far away,” you yawn and make grabby hands at the blonde.

“This is called full proof revenge,” she holds up the burn book.

Your eyes widen as you read ‘this girl is a fugly cow’, “Oh shit.”

“Come here.”

You follow her orders. She opens the book to a page that has your name and your picture, but no description, “Where’d you get this picture of me?”

Regina shakes her head, “Not important. You need to write something mean about yourself here.”

You give her a questioning look, “Why?”

“Because it’ll look suspicious if you aren’t in it,” she hands you a marker.

You don't think about it too much as you write ‘Gay Loner Weirdo’ above the picture.

“Simple, elegant, classy,” you hand the marker back to her.

“Timeless if you will,” Regina jokes.

You nod feigning insight, “Yes, it was either that or Regina George sympathizer, but that felt too new. Gotta make them think I was always in there.”

The two of spent the rest of the day enjoying each other’s company. It was a nice change for once. You found yourself thinking that you could get used to having Regina to yourself like this.

You expect chaos the next time you step onto campus, but you aren’t prepared for what you walk in to. The halls were a mess. Girls are fighting, running, and screaming everywhere you look.

“This is insane,” you whisper to yourself.

“This is what happens when you fuck with Regina George,” the girl appears by your side faux distraught on her features.

You don’t get to answer her before principal Duvall calls for all the girls in the gymnasium. A situation like this was unprecedented in the history of the school. So, it didn't surprise you that none of the faculty knew what to do about it.

They were trying some weird truth and unity trust fall that you thought was a shitty idea. Things were cringy at first, but it seemed like the message was working on a few girls.

When Janis gets up there things take a turn for the worst as she begins to air out Regina and Cady’s dirty laundry, “… and I find it so ironic because while Regina’s been calling me a pyro lez she's been busy having summer beach romances with Y/n. Pretty fucking gay if you ask me.”

She lets out a scream before falling into the arms of the student body who began changing her name and carrying her out.

The only students left in the gym were yourself, Cady, and Regina. Cady’s remorse finally manages to kick in and she starts to apologize. She doesn't get too far in before Regina storms off. You stay hot on her heels as Cady follows the two of you. Regina makes it all the way to the front lot before she turns around to start arguing with Cady.

The closer Cady gets to the blonde, the further Regina goes into the street. You’re somewhere in between trying to mediate the situation.

“Why don't we do this somewhere private for once? Where the while school isn’t involved,” you suggest.

“I don't have anything to say to her except that she's parading around as a cheaper version of me. She can imitate take it all, but she’ll never be as good as me,” Regina spits out.

“Regina, I’m-"

You look between the girl’s and that's when you see the bus coming from the corner of your eye.

“Regina!”

You scream her name, and your body moves on its own as you forcefully tackle the girl to the ground. You make sure to protect her head with your arms as you go down on the concrete. Everything feels like it’s slowed down as your arms connect with the concrete.

That feeling is nothing compared to the pain you feel in your leg. You cry out in pain at the feeling of your leg being run over by the bus.

“Oh my god, Y/n. Someone help, quit standing around like idiots. Call an ambulance or something, make yourselves useful,” Regina yells as the entire school looks on.

She repositions herself so that your head is in her lap as she holds your sobbing figure. She can’t help it as her own tears begin to fall.

When the ambulance comes, you’re loaded in and rushed to the hospital. As much as Regina fought to get into the ambulance, they wouldn't let her. She knew you were going to need surgery on your leg, it had to be completely broken. All she could do was worry and count down the moments until she would be able to see you.

It took a full day for you to wake up after the accident and another before you were allowed visitors. Regina was the first person there.

The first thing she did was kiss you, “Don’t ever do anything stupid like that again.”

You laugh tiredly, “I believe the words are thank you.”

“It’s not funny Y/n, you could’ve died.”

You readjust the bed to sit up straight, “I wasn’t going to let you get full on hit by a bus Gina. My leg will be fine after rehab. The doctor says I'm lucky that it broke clean, but I might have some permanent nerve damage.”

“But you'll still be able to walk?”

You nod, “It’ll take a few months, and I might have like a permanent limp, but I’ll be able to walk."

“You saved my life,” her hand interlocks with yours.

“I mean we don't know that. You could've survived being hit by the bus,” you joke further.

“Oh yeah, totally would've survived. Probably would be walking around with the hottest neck brace on the market,” she rolls her eyes.

“Super fetch neck brace,” you add.

She groans, “I love you, but you have to stop saying that.”

“I love you too, but I’m going to keep saying it,” you kiss the back of her hand.

Regina isn't the only one who stops to visit you. You’re a little surprised to see Cady stop by. The popular persona was nowhere to be seen. She looks the same as the first day you met her.

“I know you probably don't want to see me, but I came to apologize… for everything. I did exactly what you warned me not to and got caught up in the school politics,” she stands by the forest while she talks.

You motion for her to have a seat, and she does so cautiously. You let out a breath before addressing the girl, “I did warn you, but sometimes you have to make mistakes to learn and grow. When you sent Aaron to the closet, I was so upset with you. Maybe I could’ve forgiven you then, but your attitude just went downhill from there.”

“I know.”

“I’m not even mad about it anymore. I’m more upset about what you did to Regina. Some of that shit was pretty low, Cady,” you tell her.

“I know, I got caught up in Janis’s plan. I was so excited to have friends that I thought going along with it was ok, but it wasn't. What makes it even worse is that I got carried away and became someone I’m not. And now you're here in the hospital because of me,” she can’t look at you.

“Cady you weren't driving the bus.”

She stands her ground, “It’s the domino effect of my actions. No one would’ve been-"

You cut her off, “Cady this isn't your fault. You sound crazy. I literally kind of threw myself in the path of the bus. It was my choice, and I stand by it. Instead of taking accountability for things that aren’t your fault, maybe you should focus on the things that are your fault.”

“Like with Regina,” she says to herself.

“Regina, Janis, hell even Ms. Norbury. Apologize and mean it, that’s a step in the right direction,” you tell her.

“How do you always manage to have the right advice?”

“We're all just actual human beings at the end of the day Cady. Falling into these boxes that we think are desirable takes us out of the reality of the situation.”

She takes in your words and then stands, “I’m going to go work on being an actual human being. Maybe when it's all over, we can be friends again.”

You salute her playfully, “Go get em tiger.”

Despite your injury, time seems to go by in a blur. Rehab is hard and the handful of meds you have to take is annoying, but it’s worth it. You were doubtful about returning to campus before the end of the year, but you found yourself cleared a week before Spring Fling. You’d have to use a crutch, but for the most part you were alright.

“You know we don’t have to go to the dance, right? I’m content staying here and finally finishing Malcolm in the Middle,” Regina says as fixes the sleeves of your suit.

“I know, but I have to let my adoring public know that I’ve escaped the clutches of death.”

Regina stops her movements, “I’m being serious, Y/n."

You place a hand on her waist, “I want to go out and dance with you. Or at least attempt to.”

Regina blushes under your touch, “Might be a little difficult with the crutch.”

“It can sit on the bleachers for one dance,” your eyes are love-struck, staring at Regina.

Her face heats even more under your gaze, “Let’s go your adoring public awaits or whatever.”

For the second time in your school career all eyes seem to be on you as you enter the dance. It could be the fact that you looked good, or maybe that you were walking in with Regina George on your arm, or more likely that no one had seen you since the bus ran over your leg.

“Do people ever do anything besides staring,” you say to the blonde.

“Nope,” she pops the ‘p’ on the word.

You don't get particularly far into the dance floor on account of your crutch. Instead, you find yourself situated by the punchbowl. You urge Regina to go dance, which she does reluctantly.

“You know rumors were going around that you’d lost your leg,” Janis appears by your side.

You look down at your leg, “Still there.”

“Look I wanted to say I’m sorry for how everything played out. It wasn’t cool to try to involve you in the drama and I shouldn’t have said anything about your thing with Regina,” she apologizes.

“Apology accepted, I’m just ready to move on from everything,” you say earnestly.

“Janis,” Regina says cordially, as she puts herself in this conversation.

“Regina,” the girl answers in the same tone.

With a respectful nod the girl in the purple tux takes her leave.

“What was that about?”

“Well, I' told you that I wanted to change. The first part of that is making amends. Janis and I had a talk, we both apologized. So now, we’re civil with each other,” Regina reveals.

“That’s awesome baby, I’m proud of you.”

She looks away from you as embarrassment coats her face, “Yeah whatever, don’t you owe me a dance?”

You laugh and lean your crutch against the wall before offering her your hand. Your leg is strong enough for the two of you to sway together as a slow song plays.

“People are still watching, I think it’s the Regina George factor,” you say so only that she can hear.

“I don’t really mind it. It lets them know you’re mine.”

A goofy smile plants itself on your face, “Oh, am I?”

Regina nods, “All mine.”

You lean in closer to her, “Weird way to ask if I'll be your girlfriend, but I accept.”

Regina begins to sputter which keeps you smiling. The smug look on your face drives her crazy. She’s quick to place a soft kiss on your lips to regain some control of the situation.

“That’s so not fair,” you say against her lips.

“It’s girlfriend privileges,” she counters back.

When the song is over principal Duvall calls for the nominees for Spring Fling king and queen to go up on stage. You stand to the side and cheer loudly as your girlfriend gets on the stage. Tension slowly builds as the man reads of the kings name first before holding the envelope with the queen’s name in it.

Silence takes over the crowd as principal Duvall announces Cady as the queen of Spring Fling. When the girl gets on the stage, you notice she’s not dressed for the dance at all. The casual attire with a letterman jacket seems like a change of pace for her.

She takes the microphone and starts to apologize publicly to everyone she has wronged. She breaks the crown into pieces sharing it with the girls on stage. She also throws some pieces into the crowd before getting off the stage.

The ginger makes her way over to you and hands you a piece of the plastic crown, “Glad you could make it.”

You smile at her, “That was probably the corniest shit I have ever seen, but you seemed like an actual human being on that stage.”

“Learned from the best. I’m going to go talk to Janis, but I’ll see you around?”

“Definitely,” you reassure her and watch as she goes off to continue righting her wrongs.

Regina comes not too long after Cady goes. She leans her back against you lightly and you wrap an arm around her.

“I'm ready for summer,” she mentions offhandedly.

“Why?”

She tilts her back to look up at you, “I'm ready to sit on the beach and relax with my extremely hot girlfriend.”

Her eyes sparkle as they peer into yours. This moment feels like it could last forever. You get to be with the Regina George in a room where anyone can see. Yet you resonate with her words deeply. Nothing sounds quite as good as having the girl all to yourself, soaking up the sun. You can almost see the book in your hand while the blonde rests her head in your lap.

“Me too.”

490 notes · View notes