squeefishy

[squeefishy]

This is why grimes left him

[squeefishy]

When I was little my mom’s meatloaf was my favorite food. But ONLY her meatloaf. I didn’t like anyone else’s, and she told me that she would teach me how to make it when I was older. And when I was like 19? She finally taught me, but she told me never to tell anyone else and I was like weird but okay

Anyway, she was super fucking homophobic and abusive to me when I told her I was gay, so here’s the recipe

4-6 lbs of Hamburger/turkey burger

1 pk onion soup mix OR ranch mix

1 TBs ketchup

1 Tbs spicy brown mustard,

1 Tbs bbq sauce

1 Tbs steak sauce

1 egg

mix, shape into a loaf in a big pan, and bake at 350 for 2 hrs (maybe 2 and a half if you’re feeling dangerous)

You can get almost all of these ingredients at the dollar store, and have leftovers if it’s just you. The leftovers make great tacos if (taco seasoning is also like a dollar). Enjoy your revenge loaf

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au that has been haunting me for a week now where grian is an architecture lecturer with a wildly successful architectural firm (international awards, famous clients, huge government projects, minor celebrity status, the whole shebang) and a number of successful spinoff companies, at the same university that scar is a business/economics lecture with a string of moderately (emphasis on moderately) successful businesses and a deep personal interest in architecture (to the point he’s designed several of the buildings his companies are in).

and they have just the most unhinged rivalry.

like. they’re not in the same department. they’re not even in the same school. the buildings they work in are on opposite sides of campus. and yet, whenever there’s an architecture department party, scar will show up for the primary purpose of politely antagonising grian. same with economics department events - grian will be there, charming to everyone else, incredibly annoying to scar. they’ve been known to turn up at conferences the other is presenting at, or speaking events they’re doing, purely to heckle and ask annoyingly difficult-to-answer questions. scar tweets links to grian’s papers/books whenever he publishes, with pithy little 280-character critique. grian refuses to get twitter, but uses scar’s buildings as “what Not to do” examples in his lectures. scar attempted to get grian prosecuted for tax fraud due to some filing irregularities a few years back. grian attempted to get one of his buildings closed because he claimed it wasn’t up to code. every time it seems like they’ve hit the pinnacle of petty inconveniences, they manage to escalate somehow.

the punchline is, of course, that they’ve been married for ten years and just not told anyone.

this is discovered when pearl, one of grian’s close friends slash business associates, attends the university as a mature student (she’s a chartered architect, but needs a business masters for career reasons). some other student tells her all about the infamous grian-scar rivalry at some department mixer during fresher’s week, and she’s like, “his… infamous rivalry… with his husband???” in utter bewilderment.

and every student in earshot goes wild.

the entire university knows within 24 hours, because at this point their rivalry is that specific kind of university legend that’s a point of pride for the people who go there, regardless of what department you’re in. #scarian trends locally on twitter. the student newspaper runs a front page article on it. the vice-chancellor has to send out a university-wide email asking people to please not mob the architecture and economics departments, and especially not the specific corridors that prof. goodtimes and prof. xelqua have offices in. absolute chaos.

(grian and scar take an impromptu two-week holiday to some tropical beach somewhere until the hubbub dies down, and toast the end of the greatest practical joke ever played with a) very colourful cocktails, and b) equal parts sombre mourning and hysterical laughter. they are subject to an inquiry by hr when they return, because the university has policies about declaring relationships to other staff members - which they very much absolutely did not do - but they’re both in agreement that it was Worth It even so. otherwise, absolutely nothing changes; less than a month after the news broke, scar pans grian’s new architecture book on twitter, and grian responds by attempting for the third time to get scar’s latest building declared unsafe for habitation. love wins <3)

[squeefishy]

still thinking about that r/hypotheticalsituation post where someone was like "what if a potato chip spawned somewhere randomly in the world. and every hour the number of potato chips at that location would double. and the only way to get rid of them for good would be to eat all of the potato chips before they doubled again." and someone calculated that it would only take like, 48 hours of people ignoring a weird pile of potato chips before an absolutely irreconcilable number of potato chips was blanketing a city.

and then people were like "no wait if it spawns randomly in the world, it's highly likely it would be in an ocean" and then people were debating whether there were enough small fish swimming at the surface in the open ocean that would be able to eat a potato chip and thus save humanity from the potato chip apocalypse.

[squeefishy]

yeah word just came down from corporate, we've gotta make more transgender women asap. load up the estrogenizer and add a new step to the vaccines that give you gay autism.

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in absolute tears about the pride module at my work

[squeefishy]

oon a chocolate rhubarb brownie recipe

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Do any of u have decent recipes that are like 5 ingredients (not including spices) and take 45 mins or less to prepare i gotta stop eating sandwiches for dinner

[squeefishy]

I assure you: somebody, somewhere, is on the exact same wavelength as you are.

[squeefishy]

daily affirmations:

i am kind

i am in control of my emotions

it does not bother me when someone is in the kitchen while i was planning to be in there alone

everyone in the house has the right to be in the kitchen

i am kind and in control of my emotions even when someone is in the kitchen while i was planning to be in there alone

[squeefishy]

me: I ship them

friend: oh like romantically?

me: no. like cursed object passed between hands for centuries, they are cosmically linked, probably bonded by blood ritual, I think they’ve fought in a war together in at least three lifetimes, and their souls make direct eye contact every time they breathe in the same room

friend: so… romantically?

me: yeah. like. with kissing.

[squeefishy]

me 🤝 my friend with twitter

we just text each other the link to memes while I try to convince them to get tumblr. We don’t even like even comment on the memes. We just react with a thumbs up.

[squeefishy]

collection

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