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srinidhi77-blog · 8 years ago

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“A GIRL”- not an OBJECT

Men and women should be granted the same freedoms, and protection, under the law. It is not speaking who is superior and it is Feminism. It is asking for gender equality and opposing sexual objectification. Talking about being objectified for your body and being raped/assaulted/harassed/abused on the basis of your attire IS talking about equality. Isn’t the way women are “looked at” one of the basic inequalities we deal with in day-to-day life? I hope we are headed towards a future where a girl can be herself, without being judged for what she wears or how she looks — because that doesn’t define her. Her past, her attire, her hurdles and how she ties her hair, doesn’t define a girl… and you don’t get to label her, or tag her with names on the basis of how she carry herself..

Why is it that you assume, when you see a girl, in clothes too small (but one’s she’s happy to be in) you automatically assume that she’s a slut. You assume that it’s okay to touch her, and tease her. You want to teach her a lesson. You call her characterless, a slut, or a whore. Firstly, no girl, even if she does do the things you disapprove of, is a slut or a whore. It’s her body and her choice. Secondly, her clothes don’t define her.

Every girl faces one of these surely at some point of her life. Mother/father/brother/best friends/relatives or strangers keep showing gender discrimination: “Cover your body properly, so men can concentrate/or boys will stare or tease you”. We ask, are men really that week? Do they react this way when they see a mother breastfeeding her child in public? Obviously Yes! How can we say no? “Baby, I don’t like it when you show off your bra strap. Can you please dress more appropriately?”… “Baby, that neckline is too deep. And your shorts are too short. Who are you trying to show your legs to?!”… Except he then goes onto his Instagram feed where he’s following 8 models, 3 bikini models…staring at them.You should probably say,“ baby, that’s the fucking door – please leave.” trust me – good riddance.

If you’re with a man who can check out half-naked models all day – but your bra strap & shorts are a shame to him – please walk him out that door. Throw him out the window. We have no issues with models — we have a problem with men with those double standards. Men that want to watch those girls– but your girlfriend/wife? Oh no no …how dare you speak of MY women so disrespectfully? Wait. So you don’t respect the women you stare at? Well, that sure as hell says a lot about your views on Equality and Life. You want to see sexy women that aren’t ‘yours’, but you won’t be okay with your woman looking sexy (outside of your four walls).

Whoever thought women were twisted & difficult to understand, please stand up. Tell me how? Then, let me tell you something… she – the woman next to you, the one that’s putting up with this bullshit insecure attitude of yours, the one that even considers covering her body for your sake, the one that lets you vomit these words from your mouth – she’s beautiful. She’s very, very sexy. She’s not where she belongs if she’s putting up with your crap – but one day, she’s going to be in her element, and she’s going to find a man who loves her, compliments her, and feels pride when she walks into a room because he knows she’s hers. He won’t blame her, or change her, just because ‘Men stare’. She’s going to spend her life with someone who walks with her, not ahead of her, and respects her enough to explore love, life and sexuality with her without any disrespect – why, you ask? Because she – she’s absolutely gorgeous & sexy. Sometimes, she likes to flaunt her printed Bra through her sheer dress, she likes wearing her shorts really short, and she enjoys her crop tops – but she’s just as beautiful in a Sari – she’s beautiful in anything that SHE chooses to wear for herself, and don’t you worry.

“It wasn’t always like this. We were madly in love. Of course, there was the occasional fight… but we were crazy about each other. At first, it was small things. Don’t wear this. “Baby… if you love me, you’ll change that about you.” Sometimes we got into an argument – once he broke something. He was really aggressive. The next time we fought, he hit himself. I was really disturbed, so I left. He promised to never do that again. We went back to being perfect… till one night, in the middle of a fight, he just became violent…And you start blaming yourself??????? For which u haven’t done anything than living life the way you like!!!…. “I must’ve done something. It was my fault. I pushed him too hard. He’s not okay. I think he needs my help. He needs me”. It’s just a few bruises. Nothing serious. He was weak. “I made him do it….”

You Didn’t. Make. Him. Do. Anything. Where ever you are, if you are reading this – it wasn’t your fault. You didn’t make him hit you. It’s not your fucking fault. Stop blaming yourself. 90% of the time when a man raises his hands on you, you think HE is the victim, and you end up thinking he NEEDS you – he needs you to fix him. No he doesn’t. He needs you to blame. He needs you to hold him. He needs you so he can abuse you all over again. He is a coward, if he raises his hands on you. He’s a bigger coward if he makes you feel like it’s your fault. He is weak and pathetic and dare you ever blame yourself for it. Your parents didn’t raise you, educate you & love you unconditionally so you could be beaten up and scolded by some guy. Nothing – absolutely nothing you say or do is a good enough reason for him to hit you. Everyone has a choice to walk away. Leave. You don’t deserve physical abuse. Your only fault is that you stayed. You thought it wouldn’t happen again but it became a routine. A few pushes turned to a few slaps & soon you were bruised every second week – you can’t make him to love you, when you do not love yourself. You don’t deserve this. Walk away before it’s too late. Walk away while you can. Before you go insane. You do not need to apologize all the time for things you haven’t done! You are strong, and independent, and beautiful.

This one’s dedicated to all the women that stayed back far too many years than necessary, women that dedicated their time and vulnerability, women that gave more and took less, women that confused being caged for being loved, women that’ve felt the toxic, women that didn’t know how to let go, women that were emotionally invested, women that are strong but sensitive and women that I hope — got out of it alive.

Before I end this tribute to women that stayed for far too long, I need you to realize that this isn’t Men vs Women. This isn’t a War. This is about survival and equality. we will stop writing about women and their rights the day people accept that feminism is — very much-needed. You can be a Man, and still be a Feminist. Feminism isn’t about Women standing up for something. It’s about Humans, demanding equality and justice for Women, regardless of their Gender. I know there are wonderful men out there, I know there are men that are good human beings (and this isn’t about them) but unfortunately, even today, women all over the world are being burnt alive, abused sexually, physically, raped, deprived of education, caged, controlled, killed, threatened, molested — all for being girls.

Every-single-day from girls far too young to be dealing with this shit, addressing their issues — issues we are all appalled by, issues that make us want to cry and feel helpless because we can’t help them — and this one is for ALL of you — who give me 101 excuses for not leaving someone that’s hitting you`, for letting him control and monitor your life, your texts, your clothes. For letting him force you into sex just because you’re dating, for letting him tell you that you’re not good enough, or smart enough, and — for staying.

I hear the whole country telling young girls to not wear skirts to school, to not travel alone at night, not to cross their legs, but why aren’t you telling boys to not rape? Why is protection of women in the form of being guarded by a man at all times, and being locked up in a house post 8 pm, when men are the ones raping? For the safety of civilians, do you let criminals, terrorists; psychopaths roam loose and put civilians in the jail? Every time we enter a party where a man tells me, “don’t go alone it’s not safe” why is it not okay for me to tell my fellow male friends, “don’t go alone this late, you may rape a girl”. Our women are being molested, burnt alive, killed at birth, raped, murdered, and that’s not ‘some disturbance’, these things aren’t ‘going to happen’ – because they shouldn’t.

A woman’s choice of clothes is NOT a reason for her to be molested (and really there is NO reason ever). I am maybe not as educated as you are, but from one human to another, here’s what I think is the problem; you’re no longer raising men, you’re not raising humans, you’re raising beasts that are taught not to respect a girl or her freedom of choice. Beasts that believe such girls need to be “taught a lesson” and simultaneously you’re raising either women that themselves are petrified and uncomfortable .TEACH your kids to respect women instead of making them feel more entitled and important. The world will make them feel that anyway. So save your sons from turning into such beasts and spare girls the grief. And it’s a pity …..When you have “Mass Molestation” incidents in cities like Bangalore & they are followed by political statements blaming girls and their short dresses.

The quotes to take away from a “FEMINIST” Virat Kohli about this issue  Wearing short clothes is her decision, her life, her choice.  People in power trying to defend it are absolutely horrible.  I’m ashamed to be a part of that society that thinks it is completely acceptable to do these and get away.  Be respectful, and treat women with compassion.  Women shouldn’t be treated differently and there shouldn’t be any self-created separate rules for them.  Lets stand together and put a stop to these pathetic acts. This country should be safe and equal for all. Change your thinking and the world will change around you.

These are his words on Bangalore mass molestation issue. This is absolutely called being a feminist and a man! And Yes I’m a feminist and I’m proud to say that. And you ask why YOU have to be a feminist because

“A MAN IN A FULL ROOM OF WOMEN IS ECSTATIC,

A WOMAN IN A FULL ROOM OF MEN IS TERRIFYING”.

To all the girls who don’t support themselves and to all the great men….Feminism is NOT MEN Vs WOMEN. All women need you to support to get their freedom and rights….Still if you say you are not a feminist …? Just think about……All girls who have been touched, teased, slapped, abused or raped by their own trusted and educated people at every nook and corner of the world including her siblings and parents…..And every girl who is scared of being alone on the streets coz they are afraid of being objectified?. You pray girls as a goddess?????Then why is a girl so scared of being around boys? And why she isn’t safe even on the 69th year of our country’s independence.

CHANGE THE WAY YOU SEE A WOMAN…..SHE IS NOT AN OBJECT.LET US GIVE A GIRL THE FREEDOM TO BREATHE. TO LIVE. TO BE HER.

#Nidhi

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