ssafeplace

[ssafeplace]

Be my valentine?

No Valentine’s Day this year. No heart-shaped chocolates lining the shelves, no overpriced bouquets, no couples crowding the streets with matching sweaters and hand-in-hand promises. Not that I ever really cared about those things before, but this time, the silence feels heavier.

We’re still suffering from the aftermath of last year’s February 14th. The day that was supposed to be filled with love ended up being the beginning of this country’s downfall. A majority vote. Five years locked into a decision we can’t undo. I still remember the way people celebrated that night—half the city drenched in fireworks, the other half drowning in fear. They called it democracy. We called it disaster.

I can’t even bring myself to scroll through my phone. What used to be filled with corny love confessions and couple selfies is now just news articles, ration updates, and warnings about what not to say in public. People used to say heartbreaks felt like the end of the world, but this time, the world really did end. Not with some grand explosion, but with quiet acceptance. With people looking at their empty wallets, their dimly lit houses, the rising tension in the air, and convincing themselves, It’s fine. We’ll get through it.

I’m not sure if we will.

They used to say Valentine’s Day was about hope. About believing in love despite all odds. But how do you believe in love when the people in power don't even love their own people? When a single people’s decision turns into years of suffering?

Still, I sit by the window, watching the streets. There are no red balloons, no flower stalls, no lovers sneaking kisses in the cold. Just people, heads down, walking fast, as if trying to outrun reality. A man on the corner is selling cigarettes instead of roses. A couple argues in hushed tones. Somewhere, a car backfires, and for a split second, everyone flinches.

And then, a voice breaks the silence.

“Happy Valentine’s Day.”

I blink, turning to see him standing there—hands in his pockets, eyes tired but still holding onto something that looks like hope.

“There’s no Valentine’s Day this year,” I say, voice flat. “Didn’t you get the memo?”

“I did.” He shrugs, stepping closer. “Doesn’t mean I can’t ask.”

“For what?”

He hesitates, then pulls something from his pocket. A crumpled piece of paper. No flowers, no chocolates, just words. Messy, scribbled, uneven letters. I take it, unfolding it carefully.

Be my Valentine?

I exhale, the words blurring slightly as I stare at them. Maybe it’s the dim light. Maybe it’s something else.

“This is stupid,” I mutter, but my fingers tighten around the paper.

“I know,” he says. “But if we’re stuck here for five years, might as well find something worth holding onto.”

I look at him, then back at the world outside. Cold. Empty. Heavy.

And yet—

I tuck the paper into my pocket. “Fine. But don’t expect chocolates.”

He grins, just a little. “Wouldn’t dream of it. It’s just, I love you.”

[ssafeplace]

Happy 5th Month, love.

Five months of being loved by me—how does it feel?

I know I can be a handful sometimes. Maybe I tease you too much, maybe I annoy you just to see your reaction, or maybe I get a little too clingy when I miss you. But through it all, one thing never changes—I love you with everything I have.

For the past five months, I’ve tried to make sure you never feel alone, that you always have someone to lean on, and that you never go a day without knowing how much you mean to me. Loving you means remembering the little things, making you laugh when you’re having a bad day, and always showing up for you, no matter what.

It’s not about grand gestures or perfect words. It’s about being there, every single day, in every little way. It’s about listening, understanding, and choosing you—over and over again. Five months might not be forever, but it’s long enough to know that this love is real, that we are real.

So, how does it feel to be loved by me? I hope it feels safe. I hope it feels like home. And I hope you know that I have no plans of stopping anytime soon. Happy 5th month, my love.

[ssafeplace]

If I say, I love you.

If I say, “I love you”, will it scare you away? It’s a question I can’t stop asking myself, even though I know I'll never get an answer unless I say the words out loud. The thought alone is enough to mess me up—my heart feels too big for my chest, and my head spins with every possibility. Love is supposed to be this beautiful, freeing thing, but all I can think about is how much it would hurt if you didn’t feel the same way. And yet, here I am, sitting in this tangled mess of feelings, wondering if maybe, just maybe, you’re feeling it too. Or if I’m the only one who’s stupid enough to fall this hard.

Do you notice it? How I lean in just a little too much when you talk, or how I laugh at even your worst jokes? Sometimes I think you must know, like it’s written all over my face, like I’m screaming it with every glance, every word, every damn breath. But then you smile, completely clueless, and I feel ridiculous for thinking you’d ever see me that way. Maybe I’m just your safe place, the person you talk to when the world feels too loud. And as much as that kills me, I can't help but stay, because being near you—even if it’s only as a friend—is better than being nothing to you at all.

But it’s exhausting, pretending this doesn’t hurt. Smiling while you talk about someone else, nodding along like it doesn’t crush me every single time. I want to be the person you think about when you wake up, the one you can’t wait to see. I want to tell you everything—how much I care, how much I feel—but what if saying it ruins us? What if I’m wrong, and I lose the one thing I’ve been holding onto so tightly? It’s this constant push and pull between wanting more and being terrified of losing everything. And honestly, I don’t know which one scares me more.

So I keep it to myself. I laugh when you laugh, listen when you need to talk, and try not to let my feelings show. Maybe one day I’ll find the guts to tell you, or maybe I’ll spend the rest of my life wondering what could’ve been. Either way, I just hope you’re happy. Because at the end of the day, loving you—even from a distance—is the best and worst thing that’s ever happened to me.

[ssafeplace]

Santa doesn’t know you like I do.

Sure, he’s got the list, he’s checking it twice, but he doesn’t know all the little things that make you— you. He doesn’t know how you always hum your favorite songs when you’re lost in thought or how you light up when you talk about something you’re passionate about. He definitely doesn’t know how much your smile feels like home to me—like everything’s okay even when it’s not.

Santa doesn’t see how much effort you put into everything, even when no one’s looking. He doesn’t notice the way you care about people, how you always know just what to say to make someone feel better. He doesn’t get to see how cute you are when you missed me and how mad you are when I keep something away from you.

And honestly? He doesn’t know how strong you are. You’ve been through so much, but here you are, still standing, still shining, still the amazing person I fell for. Santa might be great at delivering presents, but he doesn’t know the gift you already are to me.

So yeah, he can drop off whatever’s in his sleigh this year, but nothing compares to you. You’ve already given me the best thing I could ever ask for—*you*.

Merry Christmas, sayang. You’re my favorite part of every holiday and every day.

[ssafeplace]

100th day with my puppy!

Hello sayang, selamat 100 hari. Nggak kerasa ya, udah 100 hari sejak kita mulai semua ini. Waktu cepet banget berlalu kalau dihabisin sama kamu. Setiap harinya selalu ada hal kecil yang bikin aku makin sayang, makin yakin kalau kamu adalah orang yang bener-bener berarti buat aku.

100 hari kamu selalu bikin aku ngerasa nyaman dan bahagia. Bahkan di hari-hari yang biasa aja, kamu tetap jadi alasan aku tersenyum. Makasih ya ayang udah ada di sisi aku, jadi tempat cerita dan tempat pulang, orang yang bikin semuanya lebih indah. Kamu bener-bener bikin hidup aku jadi lebih lengkap.

Semoga kita bisa bareng-bareng terus, lewatin semuanya. I know nggak selalu bakal gampang, tapi selama ada kamu... aku percaya semuanya bakal baik-baik aja. Karena kamu selalu jadi rumah ternyaman aku pengen balik.

Makasih sayang. Udah sabar sama aku, udah nerima aku apa adanya. For me, kamu itu lebih dari cukup. More than I expected. Aku bersyukur banget bisa ada di cerita hidup kamu, and I hope aku bisa bikin kamu ngerasa hal yang sama.

Selamat 100 hari lagi, ya. Let’s meet the 9th, 200th, 300th, 400th and others in the future. Happy to end my 2024, and start 2025 with my cutest lover. Aku sayang kamu, selalu. ♥︎

[ssafeplace]

I’d hold your hand even in another universe.

In another universe, whether it’s the one where galaxies swirl to different constellations or paint stories we’ve never imagined, I know I’d still find you. Even if fate had spun different threads for us, with each one leading to some other version of our story, I’d still recognize you.

There’s just something about you I couldn’t forget, something that would pull me back no matter how many worlds away we were. I’d feel that same tug, that same unexplainable warmth, like my heart already knows where it belongs, whispering your name even when everything else is strange and unfamiliar.

Maybe in some realities, we’d just be strangers passing each other on a crowded street maybe in other universe, we’d be the kind of love story that people tell for the centuries and no matter how different the setting though, I’d always find myself reaching for your hand.

I’d hold it like it’s the one thing grounding me, like it’s my home, because some things never change, even across endless possibilities. I’d want to be there for all your laughter and your tears, in every version of our lives. I'd want to be the one who makes you smile and who holds you close when things get tough, and yeah, even the one who messes up sometimes but tries to get it right for you.

Every choice I’d make, every risk I’d take, it would all lead back to you. Because honestly, how could it not? You’ve always been the dream I’d chase, the answer I’d search for, the smile I’d swear to protect. And even if I can’t promise that every universe would make it easy for us, I’d still hold your hand and never let go.

Because at the end of the day, in every reality, it’s you. It’s always you. My princess. Yeah, even in this crazy, infinite mess of worlds, you’re still my one and only. I love you.

ᅠᅠᅠᅠᅠᅠᅠᅠᅠᅠᅠᅠᅠᅠᅠᅠᅠᅠᅠ

[ssafeplace]

Run to me when everything feels heavy.

In case no one is there for you and you don't know where to go or who to lean on, I am here. I'm here, and you can run to me when every- thing feels heavy. You can lean on me. You can hold my hand when everything is falling apart.

When the world seems to be against you, I will be your ally in everything. I won't leave you. I'll be there, right by your side, no matter what.

When life feels too heavy and everything seems dark and overwhelming, remember that you don't have to face it alone. I am here to share that weight with you and to be the support you need.

No matter how bad things get, how strong the storms are, or how dark the nights are, you are safe with me. You don't have to pretend to be strong; you can let down your guard. With me, you can be vulnerable; you can be real. You can cry, you can scream, and you can let out all the pain that has been building up inside you.

When you feel lost and don't know where to go, I will help guide you. When you're sad, I will sit with you. When you feel like giving up, I will remind you of your strength and help you find the courage to keep going.

Let my presence be a reminder that you are never truly alone and that no matter how heavy your burdens may feel, there is always a safe place and unconditional support waiting for you.

So when things get too heavy, come to me. Lean on me.