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Fafner doodle

I don’t care if it’s ugly I’m depressed af and I’m just trying to get that shit on the paper

It’s not like anyone cares about whatever crap im drawing anyway

Im at that point im thinking of deleting all my accounts cause im not anonymous on most of them anymore and it was the biggest fucking mistake I ever did

I feel like dropping everything and just leave , I hate the city , my job is burning me out, fucking AI threatening to steal my job anyway tho. Wtf am I supposed to do now, I don’t fucking know. Idk should I just leave into a place nobody knows me , start over, get a shit job that lets me have a cheap house in the middle of nowhere. I don’t even know what else I could do at this point,

You work your whole life to succeed your dream and once it’s done everything just feels empty and worthless. I’m worthless.

Yes it’s seasonal depression time, let’s go

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Kazuki ended up going back to his self-denying ways from his teenage years, huh? Not being able to get himself to talk with Kosoushi (assuming it's not the Festum inside that's gnawing at his humanity). Kosoushi should totally use his "Godammit be true to your feelings" schtick with Zooks.

Kazuki and Soushi/KoSoushi wouldn’t be themselves if they weren’t awkward and had difficulty communicating with each other. Sometimes I think it would be easier for the Festum and humans to talk to each other than for Kazuki, Soushi, or KoSoushi to really open up about their feelings.

I think it’s more complex in The Beyond because at this point Kazuki has already experienced growing up and figuring things out, but now he is also like a guardian to KoSoushi. Then things got even more complex with KoSoushi being kidnapped and brainwashed then Kazuki coming to save him but destroying KoSoushi’s perceived home and family in the process. It also doesn’t help that KoSoushi is as stubborn and independent as Soushi, but a lot more immature and vocal about things he doesn’t like.

I agree, Kazuki’s lack of talking this season seems to be related to the fact that he is more Festum than human at this point. Talking is a human thing because Festum don’t need to speak out loud to communicate with each other. Kazuki wasn’t talkative to begin with, but he seems to rely on speaking less and less. I also think that part of why Kazuki says so little to KoSoushi in these episodes has to do with how Kazuki was raised. Fumihiko doesn’t say much either, so their father-son conversations are short, sweet, and to the point. Now that Kazuki feels even more responsible for protecting KoSoushi I wonder if he has relied on his father’s example and is parenting KoSoushi in a similar way to how he was raised (and I think Fumihiko did a fine job raising Kazuki, so I don’t see anything wrong with that). 

I also think that Kazuki is trying to be understanding of KoSoushi’s pain in his own way. Kazuki was the person who destroyed KoSoushi’s “home” and took him away after all. Kazuki probably just didn’t want to hurt KoSoushi more by being around him when he wasn’t welcome. It took KoSoushi a long time to understand and trust the people from Alvis, and it took even longer for him to trust Kazuki. Their relationship and dynamic is completely different than it was with the original Soushi, but I think that by the end of The Beyond Kazuki and KoSoushi do understand each other and show they care in their own way.

Kazuki does go right back to the idea that his purpose in life is to protect everyone he cares about, and he will not hesitate to sacrifice himself if it comes to that. Only this time things are different, and KoSoushi is determined to end things in a way where Kazuki doesn’t have to sacrifice himself in the end. KoSoushi is actually really angry at Kazuki for being okay with throwing his life away for someone else. Part of why KoSoushi is so upset might be that Kazuki saved KoSoushi and brought him back, and now that KoSoushi understands why Kazuki did what he did he doesn’t like feeling indebted to Kazuki. I think that KoSoushi wanting to challenge and beat Kazuki so badly is so he can be the one to save Kazuki this time and to prove to Kazuki that he is strong enough without him. That also might have been the only way for KoSoushi to feel like he can surpass the memory of the original Soushi and be his own person.

This time around, I think Kazuki understood KoSoushi’s pain and how he suffered (because that is how he was able to understand Soushi in the first season), but I don’t think Kazuki considered that KoSoushi would blame Kazuki for saying he would die to protect KoSoushi if he had to. And it doesn’t help that KoSoushi doesn’t seem to be able to put things into words any easier, so the way he has to communicate is to fight Kazuki and be more forceful about expressing himself.

Sorry that my thoughts are all over the place. I’m still processing everything and figure out how everything is connected. The more I think about The Beyond and how it compares to the previous seasons the more ideas and possibilities I find to mull over and piece together. 

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Soushi feeling emotions, apologizing, and forgiving in his way

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This reminds me of this panel from a kzs doujinshi I read, For a moment I thought it's really a reference to this ⁄⁠(⁠⁄⁠ ⁠⁄⁠•⁠⁄⁠-⁠⁄⁠•⁠⁄⁠ ⁠⁄⁠)⁠⁄

mispronunciation. MARK SECHS…MARK SEX!

i made a funny…. or tried to.

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If I can find the time, I want to write a fic or short excerpt that explores how Kazuki's body works biologically during his transition from a human to Festum. It's somewhat oddly specific, but I think about it so much, so often. I'm so curious.

I've thought of some grotesque (?) things that might happen to him in this perspective, but I'm not sure if its good enough to write yet ⁄⁠(⁠⁄⁠ ⁠⁄⁠•⁠⁄⁠-⁠⁄⁠•⁠⁄⁠ ⁠⁄⁠)⁠⁄

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today’s fafner 60mins theme was NO WHERE - the drama cd.

the drama cd involves a series of phone calls that takes place in the first season of fafner. instead of a phone i drew the cup and string phone. *shrug*

i may have a convention this weekend but i won’t stop drawing if it’s fafner.

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Despite still wrestling with grief and the complicated feelings of seeing Canon everywhere Shouko was supposed to be, Maya does everything she can to make Canon feel welcome and to be friends with her. But, once again just like Shouko, perhaps Maya wants something more than that and she just hasn't realized it yet.

Hello, back again with the sad mecha pilots, except this time it's the girls! I've been wanting to write canmay for weeks and I finally did it! Everyone clap lmao

Sidenote: absolutely shocked that apparently Shouko/Maya wasn't a tag on ao3 already like, even as an unrequited thing on Maya's part, cause that was one of my first thoughts for them so. Guess I'm somehow blazing new ship territory even for a 20 year old show sdklskd. How the hell did that happen

Anyway, it's fun, you should read it!

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Fafner soukazu stuff cause I miss them so much

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Me: trying to have a normal day The 100% real official soukazu art that took over 95% of my neurons the second I saw it:

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i forget i have a tumblr to dump my timely shitposts in sometimes

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It was like Kazuki was trying to crawl inside his chest, as if his very skin and bones were in the way of the closeness Kazuki sought. Soushi had no doubt that if Kazuki could crack open his ribcage and crawl inside and stay there forever, he would, just to be as close as he possibly could be. It was a sentiment Soushi understood completely – if it were possible for him to keep Kazuki so close, safely curled around his heart, he would. After Soushi returns, Kazuki needs to be close. Soushi wants that too, but it's not so simple, not when he still can't be sure it's safe. But sometimes a desire can't be denied so easily, not when it's really a need.

Did I mean to write another fic so soon after posting the last one? Nope, but here it is anyway, because codependency makes me so mentally unwell that this fic basically possessed me lmao. Anyway, it's tasty, you should check it out

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Another day another Go read my fic :3

https://archiveofourown.org/works/61608811

...because I was the one wounding him at the very moment.

Title: All of you (蒼穹のファフナー | Fafner)

Tags and Archive Warnings: Rated E (R18G), Graphic Depictions of Violence, Cannibalism, Blood/Gore, Hurt no Comfort, First Person POV, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat. Refer to linked work for the complete set of tags.

Pairing: Makabe Kazuki/Minashiro Soushi

Language: English

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I've been even more excited about Fafner lately because of my rewatch so sorry for the ramble in reblogs/mass reblogs/likes ｡⁠:ﾟ⁠(⁠;⁠´⁠∩⁠`⁠;⁠)ﾟ⁠:⁠｡ I love Fafner too much

(Talk to me about it plsplsplsplspls)

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SEE this is why the novel is the best iteration of the 2004 entry. 2004/OG is my favorite entry in the series ever but the novel just hits different!! They made KazuSou even crazier than I thought they've been holy shit. Also I love Soushi and Shoko's characterization so much more in the novel.

Actually every entry directly written by Ubukata is so awesome. Read them all.

(One day I will get you @ Adolescence + After all Alone 💢)

I need to get these off my phone for space saving reasons, so fuck it, more stuff from the Fafner novel cause I took way too many pics skdkks

Love Soushi’s intro

They really hit you with this phrasing just... so early on

A very normal reaction here

"Forcefully calming"... yeah that one's going into the mental notes forever

Called out lmfao (also reciprocation!)

This one track mind Kazuki has is so much more insane when you remember today is the first time they've spoken in like 5 years

Boy, why are you so excited about a telepathic bond. I mean, I know why, but still, what the fuck

And I'll just let these two stand on their own cause goddamn, just guys being bros huh

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fafner 60mins : smile day

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fafner 60mins: watermelon + kazuki

it’s been a hot and humid summer!