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[st4rl4zw0rld]

What are friends?

Recently, I graduated from college and moved out on my own. This shift has allowed me to be introspective in ways that weren’t possible before. Living alone has taught me more about myself and what I want from life. I never watched much TV growing up, so I decided to give some classic shows a try, starting with the infamous Sex and the City. This show showed me the stark difference between what I imagined friendship to be like when I was little and what I now see it as. Growing up, I always assumed that you develop a group of friends as you age and will be invincible as a team. You love and accept each other unconditionally, faults and all. I might experience this bond with a close-knit group, but I kept getting older and still didn’t have my girls. That’s not to say I don’t have friends because I have a bunch of amazing friendships, but I know them all individually. The thing that I’m missing is that sense of community. I find myself wondering where my village is at. I have always wanted that community feeling and to be a part of a group that supports each other and inspires others to achieve their goals. I have noticed it’s harder to form ride-or-die bonds with people lately. Everyone seems so isolated and less likely to adapt to the lives of others. I have seen a self-centered way of thinking normalized in present-day media. This brings me to the question: what are friends, and how do we know if our friendships are healthy? I believe boundaries are essential, and it’s a topic that Gen Z has been very passionate about. This generation has drawn hard lines with their careers, friendships, and relationships in ways previous generations haven’t. I believe this is a positive thing, but I have also seen how it can be a very isolating experience. People are quick to cut off anyone they deem toxic and have not provided people with much room to grow while being very sensitive to any criticism pointed their way. In my opinion, this shift has changed how people view friendships. Many things the Sex and the City girls experienced on their journey through life would end many modern-day friendships. How do we maintain our boundaries while providing opportunities for the people we love to grow and learn new things? I’m unsure if we will ever see the same levels of community building that previous generations have created. We have seen a significant shift towards the digital world, and social spaces have moved away from the third spaces, such as libraries, churches, coffee shops, and shopping malls of the past. We still venture out to public places but are less inclined to interact with the people there. I would like to see more effort between people to prioritize their friendships and community. I wonder if we can come back from the divisive climate we currently live in.

[st4rl4zw0rld]

(Contd.) I started to notice that many conversations I was having with my peers revolved around content consumed on social media. This became a new concern for me as it made me realize the few in-person interactions that were taking place still revolved around the content being consumed on social media. Gen Z is currently in the midst of a loneliness epidemic brought on by the effects of social media and Covid 19 isolation. How am I supposed to combat this issue and build community with my peers when the topic of conversation centers around social media? This is not to say that I am any better than these people because I am still not where I want to be on my self-improvement journey. I have ditched social media apps but still have found ways to occupy my time using my phone. Aside from getting rid of the phone, I do not see a way to break the chronically online cycle. I recognized the adverse effects of constant phone usage on myself, my peers, and many friends. I see how my mental health is impacted by the unattainable lives I see spread across the internet. I see now that it is that damn phone. But how do I navigate a life where I am decentering social media and still feel connected to others? This is a question I am still working on answering. In the current environment, leaving your phone behind is nearly impossible. My apartment complex requires an app to access the property and even your own front door. Menus in restaurants are becoming QR codes. Family and friends are so used to social media that you may miss out on events or parts of their lives because you didn't see their posts. I will be using this thread to update my journey on becoming a smarter digital citizen and taking back my life from the dreaded screentime. I will share strategies, progress, and new hobbies I have picked up as a result of this experiment. I created this blog as a way to talk into the void about various topics of interest and I do not expect many people if any at all to see it. If you happen to come across this blog consider it your own exclusive access to my digital diary.

On the topic of: It really is that damn phone :/

I have been a citizen of the World Wide Web for quite some time now, and it's safe to say that unrestricted internet access starting from a young age definitely hasn't done me good. Social media use and access to such a wide variety of information, in general, have negatively impacted me and many others. This impact only becomes more apparent as time goes on. We are not supposed to be readily available 24/7, constantly connected to everyone's thoughts, ideas, and opinions. Over time, we have built up a need for instant gratification, and things in our everyday lives have become less enjoyable. We are no longer present with our friends and family in the same ways we used to be. There is now more than ever an expectation that people must drop everything and be readily available for you at all times. It has become a “toxic trait” to be slow to reply to a text message or a phone call. Instead of hearing about the next biggest fad diet or must-try fashion trend in magazines or your social circle, you are constantly being fed a rapidly changing social expectation for beauty and the standard of living. Children as young as 13, but many times even younger, are subjected to content pushing what their bodies should look like and unrealistic expectations of the human experience. Influencers are constantly sharing their unrealistic morning routines, including a 20-step skincare routine, a 2-hour workout, handfuls of supplements, perfectly curated home decor, and a new “must-have” product linked to their Amazon storefront in every step. This perfectly prescribed life is unrealistic and is not obtainable for many people. The level of consumption portrayed in these days in life videos is something many Americans can not afford. Constant online shopping has become so normalized due to these influencers and targeted ads that many people are now in debt. An unexpected consequence of coming out of a consumerism culture is the buy now pay later app and the large debt people accrue after using these services for nearly every purchase. These apps are predatory and try to come across as a safer alternative to credit cards by being a no-interest option. Still, many people have found themselves stuck in debt due to the ease of use and accessibility on nearly every platform where online purchases can be made. All these bad things bring me to the question of what we can do about this. How can we regain control of our lives and change how we consume content? I have always been a little bit ashamed of my screen time. I would spend hours mindlessly scrolling through social media, adding things to my Amazon cart, and fantasizing about a life I could have but didn't. The day would turn to night, and I would have accomplished nothing more than the illusion of productivity. I would think of all the ways I would get my life together this time, ending up with just another day of mindless consumption. Recently, I have started turning more and more to long-form content. I would watch commentary videos on YouTube about current social and political topics, funny trends, and podcasts about feelings and other things (shout out to Sadboyz). A recurring topic I saw across the content I watched on YouTube was the discourse about how social media is terrible. This may not seem like a novel idea, but it presented the information in a way that made sense and helped me realize how much time I wasted each day. With creators like Eddy Burback ditching their phones to see what life is like without the constant noise, I became inspired to do the same (almost). I deleted most social media apps, such as Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter. Mostly, the apps brought me more frustration than enjoyment. Now, this step didn't entirely sever my tie with my phone, which sometimes feels like a safety blanket, but it did stop the constant gravitational pull of reels, polarizing comment sections, and this season's list of 50 things you must buy….

[st4rl4zw0rld]

On the topic of: It really is that damn phone :/

I have been a citizen of the World Wide Web for quite some time now, and it's safe to say that unrestricted internet access starting from a young age definitely hasn't done me good. Social media use and access to such a wide variety of information, in general, have negatively impacted me and many others. This impact only becomes more apparent as time goes on. We are not supposed to be readily available 24/7, constantly connected to everyone's thoughts, ideas, and opinions. Over time, we have built up a need for instant gratification, and things in our everyday lives have become less enjoyable. We are no longer present with our friends and family in the same ways we used to be. There is now more than ever an expectation that people must drop everything and be readily available for you at all times. It has become a “toxic trait” to be slow to reply to a text message or a phone call. Instead of hearing about the next biggest fad diet or must-try fashion trend in magazines or your social circle, you are constantly being fed a rapidly changing social expectation for beauty and the standard of living. Children as young as 13, but many times even younger, are subjected to content pushing what their bodies should look like and unrealistic expectations of the human experience. Influencers are constantly sharing their unrealistic morning routines, including a 20-step skincare routine, a 2-hour workout, handfuls of supplements, perfectly curated home decor, and a new “must-have” product linked to their Amazon storefront in every step. This perfectly prescribed life is unrealistic and is not obtainable for many people. The level of consumption portrayed in these days in life videos is something many Americans can not afford. Constant online shopping has become so normalized due to these influencers and targeted ads that many people are now in debt. An unexpected consequence of coming out of a consumerism culture is the buy now pay later app and the large debt people accrue after using these services for nearly every purchase. These apps are predatory and try to come across as a safer alternative to credit cards by being a no-interest option. Still, many people have found themselves stuck in debt due to the ease of use and accessibility on nearly every platform where online purchases can be made. All these bad things bring me to the question of what we can do about this. How can we regain control of our lives and change how we consume content? I have always been a little bit ashamed of my screen time. I would spend hours mindlessly scrolling through social media, adding things to my Amazon cart, and fantasizing about a life I could have but didn't. The day would turn to night, and I would have accomplished nothing more than the illusion of productivity. I would think of all the ways I would get my life together this time, ending up with just another day of mindless consumption. Recently, I have started turning more and more to long-form content. I would watch commentary videos on YouTube about current social and political topics, funny trends, and podcasts about feelings and other things (shout out to Sadboyz). A recurring topic I saw across the content I watched on YouTube was the discourse about how social media is terrible. This may not seem like a novel idea, but it presented the information in a way that made sense and helped me realize how much time I wasted each day. With creators like Eddy Burback ditching their phones to see what life is like without the constant noise, I became inspired to do the same (almost). I deleted most social media apps, such as Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter. Mostly, the apps brought me more frustration than enjoyment. Now, this step didn't entirely sever my tie with my phone, which sometimes feels like a safety blanket, but it did stop the constant gravitational pull of reels, polarizing comment sections, and this season's list of 50 things you must buy….