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* (Oh, these parentheses I keep opening?

* (I'm collecting them.

* (Right now, I'm 1,762 parentheses deep.

* (Oh, my precious parentheses... (I don't ever want to close them!

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forever grateful i was simply too lazy to let the makeup industrial complex get its hooks in me. I was just like im not doing all of that. in fact. im doing none of that

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jkasjdkasjksajfdasfdsafd goodbye

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me as a person

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ok so like. wicked. we all know the wizard's an asshole, yeah? jackass who would rather invent fascism than admit he's jared, 19. real fuckin loser. However. i've been thinking about it, and really his main personality trait + motive is that he's a people-pleaser above all else. literally desperate to be liked, and even when he's at his most liked he's lonely and sad alone in his palace. his fault but not the point here. anyway but not only is he a desperate people-pleaser he also really wants to be a family man, there's literally no other reason for "sentimental man" than establishing that, yeah? except he made himself too important for people to ever consider to be on their level. again, his fault, the idiot, but again not the point. what i'm getting at is that like. hands-down the funniest fix-it for the musical at least for me rn is the idea that he finds and picks up elphaba when she's like. 7-8. old enough to have been bullied and radicalized. because she's an outspoken stubborn little shit and the wizard is already a massive pushover but ADD TO THAT that she is his daughter who he's absolutely going to spoil and lavish with attention because he wants her love back AND she's got big sad puppy eyes and you have a recipe for her lowkey ending the wizard's reign of terror on complete accident. this little girl who was only shown kindness by one (1) bear is like "hey mister wizard-dad can you stop oppressing the animals" and mr wants-to-be-a-girldad-so-bad is like "yeah ok whatever you say honey <3" and madame morrible just has to be like "bitch. what"

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Severance is a cool show. Because, like. What if you knew nothing. No context. No idea who you are. No history. And, of course, you are scared, but you can’t leave unless you get permission from someone— the person who put you here— someone who will never listen. Someone who makes all the decisions, who says “I’m a grown-up person and you’re not.” And you’re naive and lonely, but at least there’s other people in the same boat as you. Someone, just been there slightly longer, is trying to shield you, trying to protect you, taking responsibility and taking on punishment they “can handle and grow from.”

Like. Oh yeah. I recognize this one. Someone else dresses you. Someone else feeds you. Someone else, who's just like you, but they get everything. The little toys and the waffle party. Helly is desperate and suicidal, but she still has to go to school work. You have to do work that doesn't make sense, but you'll understand eventually. The meaningless, manufactured rivalry between departments. The rumors??? “they have larvae that eat them?” “I’m livestock grown for food” “I’m a bodybuilder who has loads of girlfriends, but you don’t know them they go to a different school?” Punishment in the form of apologizing over and over, having to use all the right words, until you are believed. Endless hallways. Scary authority figures. "Are you mad at me?" Religion being the only type of media you see, until you read some shitty book that changes your life. Confusing, sudden camping trips that are supposed to fix you. Condescension. The words "innie" and "outie" are brought up multiple times as infantilizing. Of course his innie's voice is higher pitched????

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Happy pride sleepy dykes

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“It's just a small handful of ibuprofen, and it will help the words fade away."

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(opening the author’s works page after finishing a fic) and if im lucky they’ll have written this exact same fic but different a bunch more times

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ok so i know that torture doesn’t actually work but for the sake of our t4t rp session you gotta pretend that that it at least works a little.

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The 13th century Swedish peasant boy who's crashing on my couch keeps eating my leftover General Tso's. I always tell him he can order his own but he's all "oh no, just wonton soup is fine with me, it reminds me of winters at home by the fire" but when I open the fridge the next day, what do I see? Not my leftovers! I don't even think they had wontons in medieval Sweden.

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Can anything be done to help this wretched twenty four

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everything is very bad in this modern age but i truly think Merlin Bird ID App is a wonder so astonishing that it almost makes everything else worth it. like you can just sit somewhere and listen to birds and 4 minutes later you will know stuff you didn't know before. not only that but you might even retain that knowledge. this morning i sat with my coffee and let Merlin record my surroundings for 4 minutes and now i know 1) what a northern parula sounds like 2) that i have been listening to northern parulas for years without being aware that they even existed. this cheerful little gold-and-gray guy has been trilling at me my whole life and i've never known his name and now i do! you can sit there and hear something and think "that sounds familiar, i'd like to know what that is" and then look down and see the little bird ID light up LIVE. ohhh of course, a red-eyed vireo, how could i have forgotten. AI good actually.

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creating a book series called "big fear shakespeare" where i expect you to know every reference and definition and instead there are comments in the margins saying things like "what kind of idiot wouldn't know this?"