star-sailor-illustrates - Tumblr blog

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Tim is out here fighting to hold this family together and fix Bruce’s mental health. Gotta respect the hustle of trying to accomplish not one but two completely impossible tasks.

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Seeing people you know when you’re working your retail job you hate is the most degrading thing in the world. Like hi yeah want your receipt with that??

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Hiyori Tomoe! I decided to finally cosplay him! It was one of the hottest day of the year and I decided to put on a jumper and shirt 😭! I hope you enjoy!

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OMG! HATSUNE MIKU???

Happy anniversary to Miku! I’ve started a YouTube channel and to debut it i made a speedpaint of this drawing to set it off!

Any support would be greatly appreciated! Thank you so much and I hope you have a wonderful day!

Video/Channel : https://youtube.com/@paintbrushs5046?si=6LT9ahPa49rUY6HV

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People are so surprised when Clark seems to actually...like Bruce Wayne? Like for his personality?

Like, when people date Bruce Wayne, it's usually for his money, his fame, or both. And everybody knows this, even Bruce, clueless as he is. It's not like he's dating them because he thinks they're his true love, he's clearly just having some fun, and if Bruce is okay with it, well, everybody else is too. No big deal. Bruce gets what he wants, his partners get what they want, and that's it.

So when Bruce Wayne announces he's dating Clark Kent, everyone assumes he'll be just like the rest. Except--he's not?

Outside of his job as a reporter and a few appearances as Bruce's date, he remains pretty private--so he's not after his five minutes of fame. So he must be after some money, right? No problem, Bruce loves spending money on his partners.

Except, it's been like two months but Clark keeps showing up to things in cheap, ill-fitting suits and sources report that he still lives in a small, mid-grade apartment in Metropolis, and he doesn't even have a car. A car is like a chump change gift to a guy like Bruce.

And then people start talking to him because they gotta figure out what this guy's deal is and...Clark seems to...like Bruce? Like obviously Bruce is a likeable guy, but not as a serious romantic partner. But Clark talks about how he likes spending time with Bruce, and spending time with Bruce's kids (which is absolutely unheard of), and he wishes they both had more free time to spend together.

Anyway, people are so confounded by smart, normal guy Clark Kent in an actual loving relationship with the guy who got in a public argument last week because he thought melancholy was a vegetable.

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"anyone can be a babygirl but it takes a man to be a single mother"

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Things Bruce Wayne has definitely said that you can't change my mind about-

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"Wait so you mean to tell me I can't pay a robber to rob this bank at another time?"

"Wait, isn't this one of your me-me's? Tim! Tim This is the language of your people!"

"Alfred I don't know where any part of anything is!"

"Alexa, play Desperate Sea Toad,"

"Alfred, call the guy!"

"Cassandra is a perfect little angel, Mister Luthor! How dare you try to suggest that she- my innocent daughter who could do no wrong- would slap you. Tsk, that's just absurd,"

"Children whom I care for and adore very much... Why is Damian duck taped to the ceiling?"

"Tim, we've talked about this. We are not going to buy the local Starbucks just so you can have access to their raw Expresso shots,"

"Jaylad, why do you always think I'm going to gift you a crowbar for any significant holiday or event?" :(

*Bonus*

"Dad- Alfred- Alfred! The kids' name is Bat-Son for crying out loud!"

"What do you mean I can't adopt him?!"

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“Sir are you sure we should go through with this?”

Me as a CEO buying the FNAF franchise to make it more complicated so MatPat will curse me out in his videos: “Absolutely”

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whenever i see another tiktok girlie talking about how she wishes to have been a fangirl in 2010s i feel like a seasoned veteran overhearing a foolish youngin boasting about wanting to go to war for glory and adventure. you naive little idiot. you know nothing. you understand nothing. you weren't there in the trenches. i have seen things, terrible things. i cannot plug in my phone charger at night without being plagued by the visions of Him

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Bruce once said, half-jokingly, that anyone who wanted to marry any of his kids had to beat hik in single combat first. Unfortunately, joking on the Bat looks dead serious to everyone not in his circle, so now Wally is busy learning Muay Thai, Roy is brushing up on Krav Maga, and Conner has resigned himself to living in sin. Steph just figures she'd ask Cass to fight her battles for her.

Conner: I’m sorry. I love you, but we can never marry.

Tim, thinking about who he might need to politely go ask Jason to take care of:

Conner, entirely serious: I’m never going to be able to beat your dad.

Tim, hearing “beat UP” because he was thinking about Jason punching Luthor:

Tim: I feel like further explanation might be necessary here.

Wally: Okay. I think I’m ready to fight Batman.

Dick, only half paying attention: *nods* I understand completely. I have the same urge all the time.

Jason: What do you MEAN you can’t marry me because Batman will beat you?

Roy: But Bruce said-

Jason: I don’t care what Bruce said. Actually, no. I do care. How DARE he-

*cut to Jason fighting Batman*

Roy: So does this count, or…

Bruce, at six am in a bathrobe and slippers: Steph, what are you doing here?

Steph: Outsourcing.

Cass: *comes flying at Batman from two stories above*

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Every total badass needs their himbo Malewife and I am PROUD to say - I am that Himbo Malewife

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Jason, in therapy: Dick is the golden child, I could never come close to his level of perfection nor be a good son my second time around... Not that I hate him for it, kinda hard now since he's there to support me, made me come to therapy.

Damian, asked who's the good child: well it's Richard of course, he's what I inspired to be.

Tim, talking about the greatest Robin: he started and set what every Robin should be, it's insane how he adapted to this lifestyle!

Cass, asked who's her favorite sibling: I don't have a favorite but Dick is one I can count on for anything, he's a good brother.

Steph: oh I know goodie two shoes won't do anything that would be anywhere near stealing, come on Wally, stop lying.

Duke: I don't think Dick can do anything wrong, I might be signal but he's the light of Gotham so I can't believe he's done anything wrong, I mean he ran away but that was mostly Bec Bruce hurt his feelings. No, I think the only thing he ever did anything wrong in his life was maybe stepping on an ant, he's a good guy and an amazing big brother, dramatic as hell but still a good guy.

Dick's good child times

Bruce, at his last straw: the Geneva Convention was not a checklist for your war crimes! You're 8yo, you shouldn't be a wanted man by the government!

Dick, sassy pants: correction, one I'm a wanted child, okay. Two, I didn't use it as a checklist, I added onto that list. I improve that list.

Bruce: your a wanted criminal, you set a man on fire!

Dick: whatever geezer, can you leave now I'm doing my homework or now it's an issue for you

Bruce: it is now, you are grounded, no, your beyond grounded your... Your forever grounded!

Dick: wow, you went to a the best college out there and the best you come up with is "forever grounded", why I'm even studying at this point if you're supposed to be smarter than anyone in the world.

Bruce: you're a nightmare.

Dick: and you're losing to an 8yo, now tell the government to shove it where the sun doesn't shine and leave me alone.

Bruce: I'll... I'll forbid you to see your friends then, ha whatcha going to do about that one.

Dick: leave to see them like always, just like I do to do my "crimes". This game getting boring, take the lost.

Bruce: this isn't over young man!

Dick: uh huh, yeah.

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Dick: Hey, you wanted to talk?

Tim: Yeah. I wanted your advice on something.

Dick: You've come to the right place. How can I be of service?

Tim: I want to have a teenage rebellious phase, but I don't want to do anything morally reprehensible. I just don't know where to start

Dick: Might I suggest a ridiculously low v-neck?

Tim: Not all of us are as comfortable with our tiddies halfout like you

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Rogue: We have Nightwing tied up, unconscious and drugged in the basement. You think about touching us and he’s done.

Tim: So you have Batman’s child, Superman’s nephew, the big brother to a whole slew of bats, brother to the original Teen Titans and the second batch of them, best friends with whatever we’re calling the red head Flash to distinguish him from the other Flash, mentor to Young Justice and a favorite of the Justice League? Did you think this through at all? I’m positive that there is a fleet of Kryptonians coming here now, so uh surrender him I guess if you like your bones in one piece?

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I’m not sure I’m strong enough to handle Damian crying or Dick immediately putting an arm around him and gently holding him and asking him how he can help.

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Bruce: *messing around at a gala as a child, pushes into an old scary lady*

Lady: *scowling* I hope you get a child exactly like you.

*years later*

Dick: *stubborn with anger issues*

Bruce: oh no

Jason: I hate you! You’re not my dad

Bruce: *remembering all the times he yelled that at alfred* oh nooo

Tim: *stays up for days obsessing over cases, drinks coffee like it’s disappearing tomorrow*

Bruce: *quietly moved away his files and mugs* oh nooooo

Cass: *charges into a death match to become the best fighter she can*

Bruce: *remembering every training he did before Batman* ....pleaseeee

Damian: I hate school! I don’t need it *gets expelled from every school he goes to*

Bruce: *remembers EXACTLY how many times he got expelled and for why* ....fuck

Bruce: *stared at Duke and Steph*

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I’m not sure I’m strong enough to handle Damian crying or Dick immediately putting an arm around him and gently holding him and asking him how he can help.