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starbright18 · 3 years ago

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TWO - PHOTOGRAPH

T W O – P H O T O G R A P H

"we keep this love in a photograph, we made these memories for ourselves. where our eyes are never closing, hearts were never broken, and time's forever frozen, still...so you can fit me inside the necklace you got when you were sixteen, next to your heartbeat where I should be; keep it deep within your soul."

---

It was a week later that I realized Elliot from the New Year's Eve party went to our school. He was a new student, or so I assumed because I hadn't noticed him before the party. I avoided him like the plague, unsure if he recognized or remembered me and not wanting to find out. Plus, Fezco might actually kill him if he had the chance after everything that happened. My avoidance didn't last, though, as Rue eventually introduced us one day in the hallway between classes.

"Soph, you remember Elliot, right?" She grinned, nodding her head toward the blonde boy.

"Yeah, I do." I gave a tight-lipped smile. I eyed the couple in front of me, deciding that there may have been something going on between them. It was then that I realized Jules wasn't attached to Rue like she normally was. "Where's Jules?"

"Oh, she uh—she went to class already." Rue stammered out. I nodded slowly, looking between them once more. "Is that a ring?"

"Woah, you're engaged?" Elliot asked, eyeing the hand that Rue was holding.

"No," I blushed, gently pulling my hand away from Rue. "It's just a promise ring."

"From your boyfriend...who broke up with you?" Elliot mumbled. "And—and then you made out with me, to get back at him."

"We weren't together at the party," I frowned. "And I'm sorry for using you to get to Fez. It wasn't really fair." I admitted.

"No, it's okay. I, um—I mean, if you ever want to get back at him again, feel free to come to find me. I'm always down to make out with a hot girl." He winked. I grinned, raising my eyebrows in surprise.

"You know my boyfriend would kill you, right?"

"Yep. Absolutely worth it."

"Right," I nodded slowly, slamming my locker shut. "I'll talk to you later, Rue-Rue. It was nice to see you again Elliot."

And talk to her later I did, because that evening she showed up at our house while Faye and I moved about the kitchen cooking dinner. Fez was perched on the counter and Rue stood in the entryway pacing slightly. When Faye opened the fridge to grab a tray of vegetables, Rue leaned on the door.

"I'm a fucking genius, Fez." She clapped her hands together.

"Is that so?" He questioned, swinging his legs against the counter.

"It is fuckin' so because I came up with an amazing fuckin' plan." I raised my eyebrows, continuing to cut up the chicken breast that sat on the cutting board in front of me while I listened in.

"And what would that be, Rue-Rue?" I asked, Faye and I bumping shoulders when she passed me a head of broccoli to chop up as well.

"Alright, so," Rue cleared her throat. "All you would have to do is front me, like, $5,000 worth of drugs, okay?" I choked on my saliva at Rue's proposition, placing the knife down on the counter to turn and face her. "And then—"

"Hell, the fuck no." Fez deadpanned.

"Okay, well, before you say no you kind of have to let me finish, right?"

"Hell, the fuck no."

"Okay, why do you keep saying that?"

"I did not like the way that the plan started." Fez shook his head at Rue. I snorted, coughing loudly to cover my slip up.

"Okay, well, you have to let me finish the fucking plan."

"No."

"Yes, you—"

"Hell the fuck no, Rue." Fez deadpanned. I laughed quietly, locking eyes with Faye who was wearing a large grin at their exchange. They bickered like true siblings, and it was quite funny.

"Fuck it." Rue threw her hands up in surrender. "I give up, whatever. I'll just take my fuckin' business elsewhere. It's your fuckin' loss, man." Rue paused as she exited, turning back to send Fez a desperate look.

"Hell, the fuck no." Fez started laughing, causing me to follow suit. It was an awful plan, but I gave Rue props for trying. Rue's face fell flat as she stared at us.

"Do you wanna stay for dinner?" I offered, returning to my place in front of the cutting board. "I'm making Fettucine alfredo." Rue was so silent that I thought she left, but when I turned to look at her, she was still standing there.

"Sure," she shrugged, leaning up against the fridge. "I love alfredo."

Not even an hour later, the five of us sat at the table, a large bowl of pasta in front of us paired with a smaller bowl of salad and a plate of garlic bread. We must have spent hours eating and laughing, and it was the first dinner we've had in a long time that didn't end in a fight. It was a nice change, and I found all my worries slipping away the more we spent time together. Eventually, Rue left, but Fez, Ash, Faye, and I stayed at the table, laughing at each other's jokes and stories, and enjoying each other's company.

That night I pulled out the polaroid camera I hadn't used since I was 13 and took two pictures that Fez eventually helped me squeeze into a locket my mom had gotten me years prior. On the left side of the heart-shaped locket sat a picture of Fez and I squished together on the couch, a wide smile on his face while I kissed his cheek. On the right is a photo of the four of us. It had taken about six tries to get the perfect picture without being able to make sure we were all lined up in the camera, but the result produced a photo that would encapsulate my favorite memory.

Our faces were squished together tightly, squeezing to fit into the polaroid. Faye and I were in the back, my face shoved between the heads of Ashtray and Fez while hers rested on the other side of Fez. Our smiles were the widest by far, but we didn't mind. Fez was smiling, his head tipped toward me, and his eyes focused on my face. Ashtray was smiling as well, a bold grin that stemmed from our faces being pressed together while I poked his stomach. The feeling of love and happiness that stemmed from looking at the picture was overwhelming, but I relished it.

None of us were biologically related, but we formed a small family full of mismatched people and personalities who somehow fit perfectly together – the pieces of a puzzle that none of us knew we were missing, but now we couldn't live without. Forever a family.

---

The following day at school, the talk of the student body was the drama department was putting on, 'Oklahoma.' Lexi was trying to put on her play, though, something she swore me to secrecy about. She was holding auditions and pushed me to try out, but I declined. I was excited to watch the finished product and promised her that Fez and I would be in the front row on opening night but had no other intentions of being involved.

"I'd actually love for you to read it," Lexi told Rue as she washed her hands in the bathroom. I was perched on the counter between them waiting for Maddy and Kat to do their business between classes, swinging my feet in boredom.

"Yeah, for sure. Just, uh, send it to me." Rue smiled, washing her hands as well.

"Send it to me too, Lex. I wanna read it." I frowned, glancing at the girl next to me.

"Hey, Rue-Rue. Hey, Soph." Cassie greeted, sauntering into the bathroom. Her hair was teased in large curls, and she was dressed as though she had just stepped off the stage at a country music festival, causing me to raise my eyebrows in shock.

"Hi, Cass." Rue greeted, turning to look at the older girl next to us.

"Are you in the play?" I asked, turning my attention toward Cassie.

"What play?" Cassie frowned, looking at us through the mirror.

"Lexi's play," Rue informed her, glancing between the siblings.

"What do you mean Lexi's play?"

"Uh, the play that Lexi wrote," Rue mumbled.

"Uh, 'Oklahoma,' I think." I filled in upon seeing the nervous look on Lexi's face.

"What?"

"The play's called 'Oklahoma'?" Rue scrunched her face up in confusion.

"No, the drama club's doing 'Oklahoma'." Lexi turned toward us.

"Oh, my God. Do I look like I'm in 'Oklahoma'?" Cassie's eyes grew wide.

"Why would your play be set in Oklahoma?" Rue mumbled, and I snorted at her confusion.

"You guys thought I was auditioning for 'Oklahoma'?" Cassie asked Rue and me. From behind her, Lexi stood nervously shaking her head and running her hand along her neck to tell us to cut the conversation.

"I haven't read it, so." I shrugged, shifting on the counter.

"Are you making fun of me, or did you actually think I was auditioning for 'Oklahoma'?"

"Oh, thank God." I breathed, watching as Kat and Maddy approached from the stalls.

"Why the fuck would you audition for 'Oklahoma'?" Maddy asked, stepping to the sink next to me to wash her hands.

"I'm not!"

"Then why do you look like you're auditioning for 'Oklahoma'?" I shrugged at Cassie.

"Do I?"

"Yes," Kat answered surely as Cassie nervously toyed with her hair.

"Has everyone read 'Oklahoma' but Soph and I?" Rue glanced between us.

"It's not like a play you read."

"Rue, are you on drugs?" Cassie turned toward her.

"Yes." My eyes widened at Rue's revelation.

"You relapsed?" I raised my voice in a shout as everyone turned on her.

"Oh, I've just—Nah, I've just been smokin' a little bit of weed." She shrugged us off. I frowned when I realized she was lying. That must have been why she had this master plan that involved Fezco fronting her drugs.

"Wait, I don't understand. If you're not auditioning for 'Oklahoma' then why do you look like that?" Kat asked.

"Like what?"

"Like a country music star." I retorted, eyeing Cassie once more.

"In a good way or a bad way?"

"Bitch, you better be joking." Maddy quipped back, shaking her head.

"Are you okay, Cass?" Kat asked from behind Maddy. Cassie didn't respond but turned back to the mirror and stared straight ahead while fixing her hair. She definitely was not okay.

---

That night, Faye and I sat on the couch together, passing a bowl of Kraft mac and cheese back and forth as we watched TV. She was smoking as we watched an episode of Fairly Odd Parents, laughing every so often with the show. Admittedly, I spent my time watching her. She looked better – healthier now than she did when she got here.

She was no longer doing heroin or any drug other than occasionally smoking weed, and I was proud of her for overcoming the things she did. I found myself wondering about her before I met her; if we would've ever crossed paths or become this close. Truthfully, we'd only known each other for less than a month, but I couldn't see myself without her in my life. She'd honestly become my best friend.

"Do you miss him?" I broke the silence, referring to her boyfriend who sent her to us to protect her.

"Who?" She turned toward me, peeling her eyes from the TV. We sat on opposite ends of the couch, leaning against the arms as our feet were resting on the opposite ends.

"Custer."

"Sometimes, yeah." She admitted, placing the bowl we were eating out of on the coffee table before wringing her hands nervously.

"Sometimes?"

"Yeah, sometimes. I loved him—well, I love him. And I do miss him, but I also sit and realize how far I've come in a month without him. I'm doing better now on my own than I ever did in the—however long we were together. I honestly don't remember. But I know I wouldn't be here today if he was still around."

"Why do you say that?"

"It's like...I don't know. I know my addiction was my fault, but he didn't help me get clean. He didn't want me clean because he'd have to leave Mouse and their business, and he'd lose money. He never pushed me to get better because if I better myself, he'd have to step up too and he didn't want to." She explained, her voice growing quiet as she continued. I frowned, reaching forward to grab her hand.

"Do you think he loved you?"

"He did, in his own way." She assured me. "He protected me when it really mattered. At one point it was enough. It was more than enough honestly. But now..." she trailed off. I opened my mouth to speak but was cut off by the booming steps of Ashtray thundering through the house. He flew past us, shotgun in hand as he opened the door and ran out. "Is he—"

"It's probably better for us to not know." I shook my head. "Anyway, what about now? Would it still be enough?"

"No," she admitted, heaving out a sigh. "No, it wouldn't be. I don't think it ever would be enough for me now."

"Do you want to go back to him?" I felt bad, pushy even as I continued to pry. But she was my friend, and deep down I was worried about what would happen to her if she ever went back to Custer.

"Honestly," she paused, her eyes raking over my face. "No, I don't think so. I know it wasn't exactly a warm welcome at first, but I don't think I can ever see myself leaving you guys. I like this; our family and being clean. It makes me feel at peace."

"Good, because if you ever tried to leave us, I'd have to kill you." I cracked, laughing quietly at my joke.

"Fez is lucky he has you locked down because you're like, totally my type." She winked, wiggling her eyebrows suggestively at me. I cackled loudly in response.

Her laughter followed and a snort escaped, causing me to double over on the couch. My increased laughter egged her on, and as I snorted, she found herself in the same position. We laughed for what felt like hours, snorting, and wheezing as we continued. It was only broken when the front door slammed open and none other than Cal Jacobs walked in, followed closely by Ashtray who had a gun pointed at his back. He made Cal sit in a chair at the table before turning toward us. "I see you brought a friend."

"Yo, Fez," He called out, ignoring my quip. "Come check this out." Seconds later, Fezco appeared at the foot of the stairs, sending a harsh glare toward Nate's father.

"What the fuck is this, Ash?"

"Found him outside in the alley just watching our house in his truck." Ashtray informed us, positioning himself to the side of Cal and continuing to point the shotgun at his head. With a sigh, Fez sat on the back of the couch by my head, encouraging me to sit up to be able to see what was going on. I leaned into Faye who was also turned to face the boys, still smoking what was left of her blunt.

"So, first you come to my fuckin' job askin' all these weird-ass questions like the feds. Then we find you out in front of my house. What the fuck are you doin,' man?" Fez sounded exasperated as he spoke to Cal.

"You're free to call the cops." Cal defended, looking nervous with the barrel of Ashtray's shotgun pressed against his temple.

"Why the fuck would I do that?" Fez breathed out.

"Well, it's either call the cops, let me go, or..." Cal trailed off, turning his head to face Ashtray who stood next to him. "...kill me."

"What the fuck, man?"

"What's with your family? Are you all just a bunch of fuckin' assholes?" I snapped, leaning forward to glare at the older man in front of us. "Like do you guys have some weird, extremely toxic macho man contest going on at home? 'Cause, it's getting kinda pathetic."

"You beat up my son," Cal narrowed his eyes at Fez before shifting them toward me. "And your friends helped cover for it."

"Yeah, well, he deserved it, man." Fez taunted. "He's a fuckin' bitch."

"Oh, okay, tough guy," Cal mocked. Almost immediately, Ash pulled the barrel of the gun away from his temple to smash him in the head with the butt of it. I flinched but felt proud as I watched the younger boy defend Fez from Cal's jeers.

"Ow, fuck!" Cal groaned, whipping his head around to face Ash, who pointed the barrel of the gun back toward him. "Why did you do that?"

"'Cause, you're in no position to talk shit." Ashtray snapped back.

"I'm warning you. You hit me one more—" Crack. I covered my mouth with my hand to cover my giggles as Ash smacked Cal once more. "Oh, fuck!"

"Why don't you call the cops?" I quipped, sitting up on my knees on the couch cushions to properly lean over the back of the couch next to Fezco.

"The Chief of Police, Will Greenwood—"

"Mhm," Crack.

"Ow!" Crack. Crack. Crack. My eyes widened in shock as Ashtray continued to smash Cal in the head.

"Alright, Ash. Chill out, dude." I called out. Really, I was enjoying watching such a huge asshole be brought down to size. But Cal Jacobs had connections, and the last thing I wanted was to see Ashtray go to jail for assault.

"Fuck!" Cal cried out, blood dripping down the side of his head while he glared at Ash.

"This guy don't want the fuckin' cops involved," Ash informed us, eyeing the man in front of him. "Watch." Aiming the shotgun at his head, he pulled his broken phone out of his pocket and placed it on the table right in front of Cal Jacobs. "Call the cops."

"I will." Cal eyed the phone but made no move to grab it.

"Dial, bitch." Ashtray snapped, bringing the gun down on Cal's temple once more. "If you got nothin' to hide, call the fuckin' cops." Crack.

"Stop, stop, stop," Cal begged, swatting weakly at Ash.

"I'm not fucking stopping." Ash aimed the gun once more. "I'm not stopping, call the cops." When Cal made no advances toward the phone, Ashtray shook his head in disgust. "I told you." Crack.

"Fez," I smacked his thigh, nodding my head toward the younger boy in front of us, silently pleading with him to put a stop to it.

"Alright, man. I get it."

"I know you and your drug addict friend, that girl." Cal sniffled, wiping the blood away from his eye. "You're trying to extort my son."

"What?" I asked loudly, scrunching my face up in confusion.

"Because of what I did to her friend."

"What the fuck are you talkin' about, man?" Fez replied.

"You know, the blonde."

"Who? Jewel?" Fez asked, eliciting a snort from me in response. Jewel.

"Look man," Cal sighed loudly. "I didn't know she was 17." My eyebrows shot up in surprise and I craned my neck to look at the older man in front of us.

"No fucking way, dude." Fez glanced down at me; his face also ridden in shock.

"You tellin' me you had sex with Jewel?"

"Who's Jewel?" Faye asked, glancing over at me. I frowned, shaking my head gently at her to tell her she never met her. Still, she looked like she was trying to remember for herself.

"What the fuck, man?"

"Do I know Jewel?"

"The fuck are we even talkin' about right now, bro?"

"Jewel. Jewel. Jewel..." I giggled as Fez and Faye talked around each other, both looking around in extreme uncertainty.

"I just want the disc," Cal mumbled, scratching the back of his neck nervously. Once again, my eyes widened in surprise.

"What disc?" Fez snapped.

"Of Jewel and I."

"Hold on, you recorded that shit?" I asked with a loud laugh.

"I didn't know." Cal retorted.

"You didn't know that you were recording?" Fez asked with a shake of his head.

"I fucked up."

"Obviously, man." Fez rolled his eyes. "Yo, who the fuck even told you I gave a shit about this anyway?"

"My son," Cal admitted, causing Fez to recoil in shock.

"Your son? The one that's in love with Jewel."

"Plot twist," I muttered, looking between the men who sat in front of me.

"Aw, that's cute." Faye cooed.

"That's not cute, man. What the fuck?"

"What?"

"What kind of weird-ass father-son shit is goin' on around here, bro?"

"I'm extremely confused," Cal mumbled, staring at the floor.

"You're confused? I'm fuckin' confused, bro." Fez bit back.

"Me too," Faye agreed from beside me.

"Make that all four of us," I spoke with a sigh.

"I don't even know what the fuck you're doin' here." Fez was still speaking to Cal.

"Do you mind if I just leave?" Cal shifted uncomfortably. "I'm not gonna say a word about anything, I swear to God. Let's just pretend like none of this ever happened." I glanced up at Ash who still stood above him. He gave us a harsh head shake, indicating we shouldn't let Cal go.

"Yo, Ash, let me talk to you real quick." Fez stood, making his way toward the kitchen with Ash reluctantly following closely behind. That left Faye, Cal, and I awkwardly staring at each other in the living room.

"Hi, what's your name?" Faye called from the couch, taking a hit of her blunt.

"Cal."

"Do you and your son like—do you, like, fuck people together?" I buried my head in my arm to muffle my laughter at Faye's question. It did kinda seem like that was something the Jacobs family would get into, and I wouldn't be surprised if that was what happened behind closed doors. What I was surprised about, however, is that Nate Jacobs was apparently in love with Jules. Nate fucking Jacobs. How crazy is that?

"Yo, check it out, man." Fez and Ash returned. "I'ma let you walk up outta here on one condition."

"Anything," Cal agreed.

"You'll keep your bitch-ass son out of my fuckin' life, and Rue's, and Jewel's, until the end of fucking time. You understand?"

"I promise."

"Now, I don't know shit about no fuckin' disc, man," Fez admitted, shaking his head. "That's not my problem. Now get this motherfucker up outta here, Ash."

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starbright18 · 3 years ago

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ONE - CONCERT FOR ALIENS

O N E – C O N C E R T F O R A L I E N S

"i dyed my hair, pierced my nostril. i know i've done this before, but it's a mind eraser. i'm waking up on the floor, i got to get my life back later."

---

"Stop squirming, Soph," Faye laughed loudly, trying to hold my head still.

It was the night before school was set to resume and we were standing in Fezco's bathroom while the older girl helped me cut my hair. After spending days worrying about how I would handle being back in the presence of my friends and the stress of school, I impulsively decided that today was the day I would make some big changes to my appearance and mind. Today, I would become Sophia reborn. The clean, sober, stable Sophia I should've been. It would be amazing.

"I'm trying! You're tickling my neck." I laughed back, snapping my head straight to stare at the ground once more. "Are you gonna help me dye it too?" I nodded toward the CVS bag that held two boxes of brown dye.

"I can, yeah." She made a few more cuts before grabbing both sides of my face and tilting it up toward the mirror so I could see myself. "You look beautiful, Sophia."

My once waist-length hair was now cut to rest just above my shoulders. Fresh on my face surrounded by red, tender skin sat a flower-shaped stud on the right side of my nose, a piercing I had decided to get this morning. To top off the new look, soon my blonde hair would be a dark shade of brown. Fez didn't know I was making these changes as he and Ash had been out all day tying up some loose ends of them shutting down their business, and I was extremely excited to show him the new me.

It took Faye and me almost 30 minutes to get the dye mixed and applied between laughing at each other's bad jokes and ideas of what else we could change. I tried to bring her over to the dark side with me, but she refused, claiming she loved to be the dumb blonde. Just as we finished applying the dye and tying up my hair, the front door slammed closed.

"Oh, god, no," I whined, turning to face my partner-in-crime. "Faye, can you like, hold them off? I'm not ready for him to see me."

"I mean, sure." She shrugged. "But if you wanna keep him from focusing on your hair before it's ready, just lift your shirt and show him your titties. It'll hold him off, I promise." I laughed loudly and pushed the blonde out of the bathroom, watching her retreat down the stairs.

Once she was a safe distance away, I rushed across the hall into Fez's bedroom to dig through his drawers to find a shirt. Once I found one, I yanked it out, hearing a 'thunk' as something in the drawer hit the floor. With a frown, I bent down and picked up a small, felt-lined box. Holy shit. Holy fucking shit. My eyes widened when I realized it was a ring box and I found my curiosity getting the best of me, encouraging me to open it. In front of my eyes sat a silver ring with a rose gold flower on the front of it, like the flowers in Tangled. I quickly snapped the box shut when the door opened.

"I see you found your Christmas present." Fez's voice carried across the room. When I looked up, he was leaning against the door frame with his arms crossed and eyebrows raised.

"What Christmas present? I haven't—I haven't found anything." I pursed my lips, hiding the box behind my back.

"You a terrible liar, Soph." He laughed loudly. "I was actually gon' give it to you tomorrow for celebrating two weeks clean, but you can have it now."

"Fezco, were you gonna propose to me on Christmas?"

"No!" He rushed out, stepping away from the doorframe. "I mean, I ain't gon' say I don't want to because I do but you know, maybe after you out of high school and shit." I quirked an eyebrow at him, holding out the blue box. "It's actually just a promise ring. Maddy gave me the idea and helped me pick it out."

"Of course, she did," I smiled, shaking my head gently.

"I mean if you don't want it right now—"

"I do," I took a large step forward, standing directly in front of him. He took the box from my hand and helped me slide the ring on my middle finger. "Thank you, Fez. It's really pretty." I smiled, taking in the sight of the ring on my finger.

"I remember you sayin' Tangled was your favorite movie, and Maddy showed me all these rings that they made for it and shit. This one just looked like the most Sophia option." He gave me a smile in return and pressed a soft kiss to my forehead.

"Does this mean we're back together?" I joked.

"That depends. Are you gon' come back to my bed?"

"Hmm," I hummed, pretending to think about it. "I don't know. Faye has become a really good cuddle buddy. She may even be taking your place." Faye and I had spent every night for the last two weeks sharing a bed, and she was growing on me. But I couldn't lie and say I didn't miss sharing a bed with Fez.

"Mhm," He rolled his eyes, pulling me into him and wrapping his arms around me in a tight hug. "She and I gon' have to have a talk then, cause she's not about to steal my girl." I laughed loudly and pressed a kiss to his chin. "What the hell y'all get into while we were gone? Why is your hair brown?" He examined me for a moment before nodding. "I like it."

"Since we're back together, how do you feel about helping me wash this dye out of my hair?"

---

All that could be heard at the table the following morning was the slurping sounds of Ashtray and Fez eating their respective bowls of cereal while I munched quietly on my toast. The boys still weren't talking to each other, and family meals were still very much awkward, but it was something I learned to ignore. As much as Ashtray hated it, Faye was officially part of our little family, and I was sure she wouldn't be leaving any time soon.

"Are you two ever gonna talk?" I frowned, looking between them. "The tension in this room is so thick I'm suffocating." Neither of them replied, but Ashtray sent a hard glare Fez's way. Fez ignored it, looking toward me instead.

"Can you tell my brother to get over himself and accept the fact that Faye gon' be livin' here for a minute?" Fez asked, sending Ash a side glance.

"Fez, he's right there."

"Soph, can you tell my brother that he's a fuckin' idiot for bringing her into this house?" Ashtray replied, turning toward me as well.

"Ash, Fez is literally sitting across from you."

"Nah, don't drag her into this. If you got somethin' you wanna say to me then you need to say it." Fez retorted, slurping more of his cereal.

"You dragged her into this first." Ash narrowed his eyes.

"Okay, I don't think bickering is going to—"

"Because she's my girlfriend and she's stuck putting up with your shit," Fez mumbled.

"Alright, no. I'm not stuck with—"

"My shit? You're the one who brought another drug addict into the house." I frowned at Ashtray's remark, realizing I was the first drug addict they brought in.

"Ouch," I mumbled.

"That's not what I meant, Soph. I—" Ashtray was cut off by the sound of footsteps coming down the stairs, indicating that Faye was joining us. Ashtray glared straight ahead as the older girl raided the fridge, grabbing a Dr. Pepper before joining us at the table. Wordlessly, Ashtray stood, taking his bowl to the sink before retreating to his room with the slam of a door.

"Good morning," Faye smiled, sitting in the empty seat next to me.

"Morning," Fez muttered, continuing to eat. "Go get your bag, Soph. You gon' be late." I nodded, passing what was left of my toast to Faye before retreating to Fez's room where my backpack sat. Before I joined the two teenagers at the table, I found myself wandering downstairs toward Ash's room. After knocking twice, the door opened.

"I had a feeling you'd follow me." Ashtray rolled his eyes, causing me to raise my eyebrows in shock.

"Okay, you can be hostile toward Fez, but you can't have an attitude with me when I'm just trying to help." Ashtray frowned at my remark but said nothing. "You can't ignore him forever, Ash. He just did what he thought was right."

"It was a bad call."

"I know, but it happened. He can't take it back and you being angry and stomping around being mean to us won't change that." I snapped, earning a slow nod in response.

The younger boy sighed, pulling me into a quick hug. "I'm sorry for dragging you into my problems with Fez."

"It's okay, Ash," I promised. "Just do me a favor and please try to work it out. The tension literally makes me want to do drugs." While I originally laughed at my joke, Ashtray visibly flinched causing me to realize it probably was poorly timed and in bad taste. "Too soon?"

"A little," He mumbled. "I'm sorry I called you a drug addict earlier."

"You didn't lie, did you?" I gave him a weak smile. "It's okay. No harm, no foul, right? Get your bag ready so we can leave before Fez changes his mind about driving us."

The three of us rode in silence aside from the barely audible sounds coming from the radio. Once we pulled into the parking lot, Ash ruffled my hair before flying out of the backseat and rushing to the doors, leaving Fez and me alone. I frowned glancing up at the doors. Was I really ready for this?

"You good?" As if he sensed my hesitance, Fez's hand fell to my bare thigh giving it a soft squeeze. "If you not ready to go back, we can go home."

"I'm ready," I promised. "Just kinda scared, I guess."

"Scared of what?"

"That my friends will feel different about me, or that they're gonna tiptoe around me like I'll relapse at the smallest inconvenience." I turned to face my boyfriend.

"That ain't gon' happen, Soph. I bet they just gon' be happy to see you back. Plus, I know Maddy's gonna go crazy over your new look." He raised an eyebrow and chuckled at me. "And if anything happens, all you gotta do is call me. I'll be back here in a heartbeat." He promised.

"I love you, Fez." I leaned in, pressing a soft kiss to his lips. "Thank you."

"Always," He glanced down at the clock on the radio. "But you gotta go now before you late, Sophia. We don't need you ruinin' your good girl image." I smiled widely remembering the first time he mentioned my good girl image – the night he took me home after the back-to-school party. "And I love you too. But if you don't get out of this car, I'ma call Maddy and have her drag you out."

"Fezco!" I laughed, grabbing my bag from the floor. "Alright, I'm going. Are you picking me up after school?"

"You know it, baby."

"Can you bring Faye? I miss my girlfriend."

"Get the fuck up out my car, Soph." Fez deadpanned. I laughed again but obliged, stepping out into the busy parking lot. I wasted no time rushing across campus in hopes of finding my friends. It wasn't long before I found Maddy's face amongst the crowd and ran up to her, throwing my arms around her shoulders from behind and swinging my face around to meet hers.

"Holy shit, Soph!" She grinned, breaking out of my hold to turn and face me. "You look hot! All dark and mysterious." She wiggled her eyebrows at me, eyeing me up and down. Her gaze fell upon my hand, and she immediately scooped it up, staring down at the ring that graced it. "I see Fezco finally gave you your gift."

"He did," I smiled, interlocking our fingers as we began to walk. "Thank you for helping him pick it out."

"Anytime, bitch." She smiled back, glancing over at me before squeezing my hand tightly. "I'm so happy to see you, Soph."

"I'm happy to see you too, Mads."

---

The school day went by without any further issues. I received happy greetings from Lexi, Kat, Rue, and Jules, and found myself feeling complete in their presence like all my issues had disappeared. Cassie was the only one who didn't greet me, but she seemed to be avoiding all of us after the New Year's Eve party.

I chalked it up to be caused by her new vow to remain single, but it appeared like there may have been more to it. I didn't press it though, deciding that I needed to focus on my own issues before I focused on hers. Aside from my group, most people seemed to avoid me. I was sure it had something to do with Fez almost killing Nate, but I didn't mind. My small group just so happened to be all I needed to be happy.

That night, Fez, Ash, Faye, and I sat together at his store. Ashtray and Fez had sort of made up on the ride home from school as Ash relented in acceptance of Faye. Still, he preferred to sit by himself in the cooler doing God-knows-what. Fez, Faye, and I sat spaced out from each other playing an intense game of Monopoly to pass the time.

Currently, Fez was winning as he managed his money well, which I found unfair because he owns his own business. But I digress. We sat alone until we noticed Lexi riding her bike up to the store, causing me to break away from the two teens to greet her.

"Hey, Lex." I smiled, pulling her into a tight hug when she walked in.

"Lexi Howard, how you doin'?" Fez smiled in greeting.

"Hi. I'm good, um," Her eyes fell upon Faye who was sitting on a cooler against the wall.

"Hi, I'm Faye." She smiled, waving slowly. I grinned, taking my seat next to Fez as I watched the girls introduce themselves.

"I'm Lexi. Um, I'm sorry. Soph, are you guys back together, or are they..." she trailed off, glancing between Fez and me.

"Oh, yeah." I smiled. "We're back together. Faye's just living with us for a little bit. She's really cool, I think you'd like her."

"Yeah, me too." Lexi smiled, reaching out to give my hand a reassuring squeeze. "I'm happy you guys are back together. After New Year's Eve, I wasn't really sure. It was weird seeing you guys apart."

"Thanks, Lex." I smiled back. "What brings you over here?"

"Oh, um, I actually wanted to talk to you guys about Nate. His dad—" Lexi was cut off by the sound of a truck pulling in. Glancing up, I saw the reflection of Cal Jacobs approaching from the mirror that sat above the store, giving us a view of everything.

"—Is here. Nate's dad is here." I finished for her. Fez leaned closer to me from his spot on the counter next to me, his hand capturing mine. "Oh, God." Cal Jacobs walked in, pausing by the door to look over all of us. Lexi almost immediately retreated to my side, capturing my free hand in hers.

"What's up, man?" Fez greeted, eyeing him as he wandered around the store. I looked straight ahead, noticing Ashtray watching us closely from his spot in the coolers. I gave the tiniest nod, indicating that he should be ready in case Cal was here to get revenge on us for what happened with Nate. He met me with a nod of his own. Fez glanced down at me, and it was then that I realized just how tense he was at the situation.

"You got any spearmint gum?" Cal asked, stepping around to peer at us after exploring the store.

"The gum is over here," I nodded my head toward the display next to Lexi. She released my hand and stepped around to the other side of the store, presumably trying to stay far away from Mr. Jacobs. I would run too.

"This your store?" Cal asked, scooping up a pack of gum before stepping around the display to where Lexi was.

"It's a family business," Fez informed him, squeezing my hand.

"Do your parents own it?" Cal asked, followed by the crinkling of a bag indicating that he was picking up a snack.

"Do you usually ask this many questions? It's kinda creepy." I snapped, turning my attention toward the older man who stopped in front of Fez and me.

"Just you." He shrugged, glancing at me before moving his eyes toward Lexi. "They tell you who I am?"

"Nah, man."

"Are you a cop?" Faye asked. If the situation wasn't so serious, I would've laughed. Instead, I focused on the feeling of my heart beating out of my chest. On one hand, I felt like Cal Jacobs' wouldn't be dumb enough to get his revenge on Fezco in front of so many witnesses. On the other hand, he could totally kill us all.

"No," his hand felt to his pocket where an audible 'clink' could be heard. I tensed and Fez shuffled slightly, turning so that his body shielded mine. I stared straight ahead, watching as Ashtray stood and pulled a gun from a cereal box, making sure it was loaded before stepping toward the door that leads to the cooler, positioned just in case something was to happen. Cal hesitated before pulling out a $20 bill and placing it on the counter. "Just a concerned father."

"Jesus Christ," I breathed, watching as he walked out of the store. Fez jumped up and followed him out the door, watching as he jumped in his truck and walked away. I stood as well, joining the two girls who were just as nervous as I was. "That was fucking terrifying."

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starbright18 · 3 years ago

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Playlist [BRB]

C O N C E R T F O R A L I E N S - M A C H I N E G U N K E L L Y

"i dyed my hair, pierced my nostril. i know i've done this before, but it's a mind eraser. i'm waking up on the floor, i got to get my life back later."

P H O T O G R A P H - E D S H E E R A N

"we keep this love in a photograph, we made these memories for ourselves. where our eyes are never closing, hearts were never broken, and time's forever frozen, still...you can fit me inside the necklace you got when you were sixteen, next to your heartbeat where I should be; keep it deep within your soul."

G O O D D A Y S - S Z A

"good day in my mind, safe to take a step out, get some air now, let your edge out."

H E A D S P A C E - L E W I S C A P A L D I

"well, you're only blood and bones and i know your heart's at war with your head. i am sure it hurt to see, you're more than i'll ever have and more than i'll ever be."

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starbright18 · 3 years ago

Text

3:15 [FEZCO][1]

"for a moment, i was feeling like i had you. didn't wanna leave, i had to. it's a quarter after three saying everything we mean."

[season one] [completed]

[book 1 of 2]

Also published on Wattpad!

BOOK ONE

Playlist

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

Chapter Nine

Chapter Ten

Chapter Eleven (18+)

Chapter Twelve

Chapter Thirteen

Chapter Fourteen

Chapter Fifteen

Chapter Sixteen

Chapter Seventeen

BRB [FEZCO][2]

MAIN MASTERLIST

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starbright18 · 3 years ago

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SEVENTEEN - 3:15

S E V E N T E E N - 3 : 1 5

"it's a quarter after three, saying everything we mean."

---

Withdrawals were kicking my ass. Fezco hadn't lied when he said it would be brutal. That same night I laid next to Faye who had long since fallen asleep, fighting back my tears as my body crashed from the lack of cocaine in my system. My body hurt and the trauma of the last few days hit hard, coming in brutal, choppy waves that wrecked my mind, leaving me desperately gasping for air. Unsure of what else to do, I found myself sneaking out of the bed I shared and out the door, crossing the hallway to Fez's room. I didn't bother knocking in fear of waking him up and instead crept in on my tippy toes.

His back was facing the door, and as I crept around the bed my eyes raked over his sleeping form. His eyes were shut, and his mouth partly open as small breaths escaped. He looked tense, yet still more relaxed than I had seen him lately. I found myself smiling; his face was truly a sight for sore eyes. A newfound wave of peace washed over me as I stood in his presence. It felt nice to be near him after being apart for so long. Not wanting him to find me, I turned on my heel to leave the room.

"You know, it's kinda creepy to watch people sleep," he called out from behind me as my hand hovered over the doorknob. I cursed myself, squeezing my eyes shut.

"I'm sorry, I'm going back to my room, I promise."

"Nah, you was in here for a reason, Soph." I heard the best rustle as he changed positions. "You okay?"

"Not really," I turned to face him, seeing the silhouette of his body facing me now. Even in the pitch-black room, I could feel his eyes staring intently into mine. "Can't sleep, I think it's withdrawals."

"C'mere," he patted the bed, raising up the cover invitingly. When I hesitated, he let out a breathy laugh. "I ain't gonna bite, you know. I just wanna make sure you good." Against my better judgment, I obliged, crawling under the covers, and turning my back toward him. "You wanna talk about it?"

"Not really, but I probably need to." He shifted around again.

"Can I—" He cut himself off, pausing for a moment. "Can I hold you?" His voice came out as a whisper, and I shivered at the feeling of his breath on my neck. I thought about it for a moment before nodding.

"You don't have to ask," It took him a second, but eventually his arm snaked out around my waist, pulling me into him. His other arm went under my pillow, his hand just barely peeking out. I stared at it for a moment but eventually reached out, interlocking our fingers tightly together. His face was buried in my neck, and he fell so still I thought he fell asleep.

"What you thinkin' about?"

"Everything," I admitted. "My mom and our fight, how badly I wanna do cocaine, us." He stiffened but eventually relaxed.

"What happened with your moms?"

"I haven't been home since Christmas morning. I was out doing drugs with Rue for days, and I stopped texting her back eventually. When I got home yesterday, she was waiting for me at the table. She went through my room and found all my drugs in my makeup bag. She was going to flush them and take me to rehab and I—I chose the drugs, so she kicked me out." I breathed out. "She told me I wasn't the daughter she raised, and I think she was right. The old Sophia wouldn't be in this position."

"The old Fezco wouldn't have done a lot of things, so I can understand what you thinkin'." He mumbled. "But you still her kid. You may not be the same one she raised but that ain't necessarily a bad thing. You've grown a lot in the last few months I've known you. You strong as hell, grounded—"

"Apparently, I'm not strong enough," I mumbled. The hand that was resting on my hip gave it a reassuring squeeze.

"Do you know how much strength it took to flush those drugs? Or to admit you addicted?" I shook my head in response. "A lot. More strength than most people got." I smiled even though he couldn't see it and found myself unconsciously scooting closer to him; he didn't seem to mind.

"I miss you," I whispered after a moment of silence, my eyes fell on the clock that read 3:15. "And I know I never apologized, but—"

"You don't have to."

"I do," I turned in his arms to face him, our noses brushing from the proximity. Our eyes locked, and for a moment we just sat there staring at each other in silence. We weren't fighting, weren't crying, we weren't anything other than two kids who were lost and broken. "I didn't mean the things I said that night. I—I didn't want to break up, and I hope you know that. I was scared that you'd go, and I guess I thought that by saying that you'd stay."

"I wanted to," He mumbled. "Man, Soph, you don't understand. Hearing you sit there and cry for me just broke my heart. I ain't ever wanna hurt you like that, and I did." He paused for a moment. "I cried the entire way there."

"If you didn't want to hurt me then why did you say that stuff?"

"I don't know," He shifted uncomfortably. "I guess I thought if I made you hate me, then it wouldn't hurt you so badly if somethin' happened to me."

"Fez, I could never hate you. If something happened to you, I—I would be broken no matter what. I still love you; I'll always love you."

"Did you mean what you said about everyone being right about me?"

"I didn't," I promised. "Not at all. You had just hurt me, and I think I wanted to hurt you back." A beat. "Did you mean what you said when you basically said our relationship was a mistake?"

"I didn't," he promised. He raised one of his hands and gently brushed his thumb across my cheekbone; a touch I found myself leaning into. "You the best thing that's ever happened to me, and I don't think you see that. I met you and all the little pieces of my life just clicked together, like puzzle pieces. I look at you and I wonder what the hell a guy like me did to deserve this. The way you always stand by me and the unconditional love you got for me even when I hurt you."

"Fez—"

"And you still got this look in your eyes. A look that says you forgive me, and you love me even though I broke you." His voice cracked. "You still look at me like I'm your favorite person in the world. And I know I ain't deserve it, but a part of me is glad that you do because that means I may have a chance to fix this. I want to fix this. I don't ever wanna get to a point where my mistakes pushed you out of my life. I don't wanna live a life where you not in it. And this drug shit, it ain't gon' help me prevent that."

"I want to fix this too," I gripped his free hand tightly in mine. "But—but I know have to fix myself first."

"So, where does that put us?" He spoke softly.

I couldn't see myself without him, either. And he was right, I did still love him even though he hurt me. But when I look at him, I see that same love in his eyes. Even though I hurt him and hurt myself, he still looked at me like I was the best thing that ever happened to him. Through my broken pieces and drug dependency, he loved me regardless.

But to be so bad off that being heartbroken turned me to drugs was awful on my part; there was a lot more than just one broken piece of me I needed to fix. He had more than just one broken piece of him he needed to fix. Our relationship was full of broken promises and shattered fragments of the love we built; things we couldn't fix until we fixed the parts of ourselves that caused the love to crack.

"We take it one step at a time," I proposed. "One day at a time, one problem at a time. I'm going to kick the shit out of my addiction, and you're going to find a way out of this business. And in a year and a half, I'm going to graduate high school, and you, me, your grandma, and Ash are going to leave this town behind. Oh, and Faye." I smiled up at him.

"Faye?"

"She's growing on me," I shrugged. "She was spooning me for like, 2 hours in there."

"Man, I'ma need to go tell her to stop tryna steal my girl." I laughed loudly, burying my face in his chest to muffle the sound. He pulled away slowly and shook his head. "I ain't heard you laugh in so long. I wanna hear it, it feels good." I smiled and brought my lips down on his. We kissed for a long minute, a million different emotions flowing through it.

"I love you, Fezco. Thank you for everything."

"Look, Soph. I can't promise I ain't gon' hurt you again because we still kids and we still growin' and shit. I know we gon' have times where we don't see eye to eye. But what I can promise is when I do, I'ma spend as long as it takes to make it up to you, starting now." He kissed my forehead gently. "And I can promise I ain't gon' leave you no more."

"Good," I smiled, nuzzling my face into his neck. "Cause the next time you try, I'll run you over." It was his turn to laugh.

"What did I do to deserve you, Sophia Brooke Harrison?"

---

Exactly seven days later came my 18th birthday, and a week later, school would start again. I won't lie, the last week has been brutal. I was in a constant battle with myself, constantly fighting off cocaine cravings that paired with a thick, suffocating blanket of depression from the lack of a high, which in turn led me to freeze out all my friends. Except for the three people I shared a house with, of course.

We all fell into a certain routine. Every night once Faye fell asleep, I would sneak across the hall and into Fezco's room where we would lay together and talk until the sun came up. Like clockwork, I would sneak back across the hall and lay back down with Faye to sleep until everyone had woken up. Then we'd go about our day doing our own things, and every night we'd try to eat together and repeat our nightly routine.

The keyword is tried. Really, it always ended in a bicker-ment. Ashtray was mad at Fez because Faye moved in, so they weren't really talking. Pair that with two drug-addicted girls going through the irritability from withdrawals paired with periods that couldn't have picked a worse time to come, the house was a warzone.

Sometimes I'd leave the table early to check on Ashtray, who seemed more than happy to hold me hostage in his room to play whatever video game he was feeling that night. Sometimes we played in silence, pretending like we didn't have issues going on outside of the game. Two nights into the routine, he admitted that he knew I snuck into Fez's room every night and that he was happy we were working it out, but he also wanted me to be careful because he didn't want me to spiral again. With some further pushing, he finally confessed why he was so upset with Fez. Ashtray didn't trust Custer, Faye's boyfriend, which meant he didn't trust Faye by extension. He also just really didn't like sharing his house with a stranger.

Faye and I grew closer with every night we spent together in the guest room. She wasn't much older than I was, and for as long as she could remember, she had been high on some kind of drug. Fezco made it clear that to stay there, we both had to be clean. He was a bit more lenient on her use, however, because she spent much more time addicted and would have to ween off slowly, but still, she was doing better than she was when she moved in. Every night until she'd fall asleep, we'd snuggle up in the bed and talk about our lives, relationships, and addictions. We hadn't known each other long, but she was truly becoming a sister to me.

And Fez, well, we were okay. In favor of moving slowly, I decided I would continue to stay in the guest room, much to his dismay. We were in a weird stage between broken up and back together, I liked to call it "taking a break." He liked to call it "fuckin' bullshit," but eventually he admitted he understood why it was necessary. He worked hard to help me through my recovery, which is how I ended up being thrown a surprise party at his house.

Everyone came to celebrate with me, except my mother. She sent a gift, and Fez said he had been in constant contact with her about my recovery, but she had chosen not to see me. I didn't blame her; after everything I put her through, I wouldn't have come either. Maddy, Lexi, Cassie, Kat, Jules, and BB showed up together with presents in hand and smiles on their faces. They were less concerned about the fact that I ghosted them and more concerned about my sobriety. It took a lot of reassuring for Maddy to believe me, but eventually, she did, reminding me that if she ever saw me so much as look at cocaine again, she'd kick my ass. That was a fair threat.

As I spent the night with my friends, I realized just how many connections I made in this town. Every person in this house had become my family over the last few months – family I didn't think I'd be able to live with. And while we sat there laughing, my pain wasn't so bad. Here I was, sober but still enjoying life as I experienced it. It was only then that I realized I was strong, and I was going to be okay.

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starbright18 · 3 years ago

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SIXTEEN - LOVE IS GONE

S I X T E E N - L O V E I S G O N E

"i'm sorry, don't leave me. i want you hear with me. i know that your love is gone. i can't breathe, i'm so weak, i know this isn't easy. don't tell me that your love is gone."

---

By the time I got home, my good foot was sore, and my face was rubbed raw from crying. I spent the entirety of the walk imagining myself running back to Fez, jumping in his arms, and apologizing for just how nasty our fights had been. Of course, I knew this would be a bad idea. But the thought made me feel just a bit better about how fucked up my life had gotten in the last week.

To compound the problem, my heartbreak was paired with intense cocaine cravings and irritability from how long it had been since I snorted my last line, leading me to crouch in a random alley just before I got home to get my fix. But to top off my shitty day, when I entered the house, my mom was sitting at the dining room table waiting for me.

"Where have you been?" Her voice was firm and scratchy. I internally rolled my eyes, throwing my purse to the floor by the door before slamming it.

"I was out," I replied curtly, spinning to face her. "Just like I told you I'd—" My eyes fell on my makeup bag that sat in front of her before focusing on the multitude of small, clear bags that she seemingly pulled out of it. "Did you go through my stuff?"

"Seriously?" She snapped. "You're looking at hundreds of dollars of drugs that I found in your room, and the only thing you can think to say is to ask me if I went through your stuff?"

"Yeah, because it's an invasion of my privacy."

"You can't expect privacy when you're lying to me about where you're going and what you're doing." She slammed her hand on the table.

"Yeah, like you've ever really been around for me to tell you about my life." I scoffed. Hurt flashed across her face but it was gone the second it came as she rose to her feet and pointed an accusing finger at me.

"Do not speak to me that way, Sophia Brooke."

"Why, because the truth hurts?" I had to admit that it wasn't my mother that I was mad at. She was doing what she thought was best to protect me. However, the longer she stood in front of me suddenly choosing to act like a mother figure, the angrier I got.

"No, it doesn't. You seem to be forgetting that my job, you know, the thing that constantly keeps me away, is what paid for your fucking habits." She paused, taking a deep breath before collecting the bags from the table. "I won't have a drug addict living in my house."

"Then I'll leave." Another look of irrefutable hurt fell on her face, but this time it stayed.

"You would choose drugs over living here with your mother?" She shook her head, stepping forward and using her free hand to grip my face, looking me over. "You're high, aren't you?" A beat. "No, absolutely not. You're 17, you're not going to be a fucking strung-out drug addict." She began to walk out of the room, but I stepped in front of her, eyeing my drugs in her hand.

"Where are you going?"

"To flush these. And then I'm going to call the hospital, and I'm going to get you into a detox program." I gripped her arm tightly as she tried to pass.

"No!" I raised my voice, desperately reaching out for what sat in her hand.

"Let go of me, Sophia—"

"No, mom. You can't—"

"Sophia!—"

"You can't fucking take them—" My face stung as her hand met it, causing me to take a large step back. My lip quivered as she threw the bags on the ground by my feet, and I immediately knelt to pick them up. Before I grabbed them, I heard a loud sob. When I looked up at her, she was crying too.

"You are not the daughter I raised." Her words hurt me more than her slap ever could. I chewed on my lip and nodded slowly, making my way up the stairs. "Don't walk away from me, Sophia. We are not done here." I ignored her, grabbing a duffel bag from my closet, and throwing as many articles of clothing into it as I could before grabbing my school bag and any other essentials I may need. If I wasn't the daughter she wanted, then there was no reason for me to be here any longer. She was standing in the same place I left her when I made it back down the stairs. "Sophia, you're not leaving this house."

"You can't stop me," I snapped, scooping up the various bags of drugs and placing them in my duffel as well. As I made my way to the front door, she stepped in front of it.

"I said you're not leaving. I'm not going to let you go out there and become a fucking doped-out loser." She crossed her arms over her chest, her voice softening. "I know it's hard, and you don't think you can live without the drugs, but if you'd just let me help you, we can—"

"Now you want to help me?" I raised my voice, my fiery eyes staring deeply into the tear-filled ones of my mother. "You're never here, mom! You've never been here!"

"I'm here now!"

"It's too late." I heard her breath catch in her throat, but she said nothing, stepping aside and motioning to the door.

"If you walk out that door, Sophia, that's it. You won't ever be welcome back." Ouch. I swallowed harshly, weighing my options.

I loved my mother more than anything, and I know she was only upset because she cared. But still, the thought of losing the high that makes all my problems go away seemed like something I just couldn't manage. So, I nodded slowly and walked out the door, slamming it as I went. I stood on the porch for a moment, trying to figure out where to go. However, I knew I didn't have many options. With a deep breath, I made my way toward the only place I knew I'd be welcome.

---

Tears began to fall as I knocked harshly on the door. Today had been awful and was easily a top competitor for the worst day of my life. I took my time making my way across town, and as I stood on the doorstep, I felt my cocaine cravings hit full force once more. The door flew open causing me to jump in surprise.

"Damn, you miss us already?" Ashtray teased with a smile that quickly fell from his face once he looked me over. "Holy shit, are you okay?"

"My—my mom kicked me out, and I—I don't have anywhere else to go." I sobbed quietly. He said nothing, unlocking the screen door and sliding my duffel bag from my shoulder to carry it inside. I limped behind him, placing myself on the couch. He sat across from me in the armchair and squinted at me for a long moment before speaking.

"You know where the guest room is?"

"Yeah," I breathed out. It looked like he was fighting an internal battle of whether to speak as he opened and closed his mouth a few times. "She found my drugs in my makeup bag last night. I—I won't stay long, just until I get my bearings."

"You can stay as long as you need," He sent me a small smile. "I'll let Fez know when he gets back."

"Back? He left?"

"To grab Faye," He rolled his eyes, slumping back in his seat. "Do you need help getting your bag upstairs? No offense, but you look like shit. You should probably sleep." I laughed loudly, my first genuine one in what felt like forever.

"You sure do know how to make a girl feel good, Ash." I stood. "I'll take you up on that nap offer though." He pursed his lips and nodded, scooping up my bag and taking it up the stairs. I followed him closely as he stopped at the closed door across from Fezco's room. That's gonna suck.

"I'll let you know when Fez gets back." And with that, he turned on his heel and made his way down the stairs. I nodded to myself and pushed open the door, closing it gently behind me as I took in the room. I had never been in here before, but it looked like every other room in the house.

As I looked around, I found myself digging through my bag in search of the cocaine Fez tried to confiscate from me the night prior. Once I found it, I didn't hesitate before dishing out two lines. I won't lie and say that I didn't feel guilty for proving my mom right about me being an addict, but I also found another part of my mind not caring. After all, if she already thought so poorly about me then what was the point of trying to fix it?

"Jesus Christ," I mumbled, the drugs burning my nose as I inhaled them. I didn't bother cleaning up my mess but rather crawled into the full-sized bed. Thankfully, sleep wasted no time before consuming me.

It felt short-lived, however, as I was woken by the slamming of the front door. I groaned, bringing my hands to my temples to massage my aching head. Yelling followed, and I felt immeasurably irritated as I stood, stomping my way through the house to see what the problem was. When I reached the bottom, I noticed Fez and Ash in a heated conversation, a blonde girl with blood on her face standing awkwardly across from them. Upon hearing my footsteps, both heads snapped in my direction. Fez didn't look surprised to see me, and I assumed it was because Ash already told him I was here.

"The least you two could do is stop bickering and help the girl clean up her face, for fucks sake." I snapped loudly, crossing over to them and holding my hand out to the older woman. "Come here," She took my hand almost immediately and I walked her toward the steps that lead toward the downstairs bathroom, gently pushing her down. "I'll be right back."

"Okay," she whispered. I heard slamming in the kitchen but chose to ignore it, making my way toward the bathroom to get a wet rag. When I came back, Fez was nowhere to be found. I sat beside the girl who I assumed was Faye and began to slowly wipe the blood from her face.

"I'm Faye," she confirmed my suspicions with a weak smile.

"I'm Sophia, but you can call me Soph."

"Thank you for helping me," she whispered. I nodded, glancing up to meet her eyes before focusing my attention back on her nose.

"What happened?"

"We were at a motel and the manager was just being so mean and he hit me." I raised an eyebrow. "So, I snapped and pushed him off the balcony." I couldn't stop myself from giggling, and Faye quickly followed suit.

"That's badass."

"What happened to you?" Her small hand brushed against my cheekbone slightly and I winced.

"My mom," I whispered, handing her the wet rag to hold against her nose.

"Do you want me to push her off a balcony?" Faye cracked a smile and I met her with another laugh. As we sat there laughing together, Fez stomped by, brushing past me as he came out of Ashtray's room.

"Yo, don't touch nothin'. Don't talk to Ash. And don't go in my fuckin' room, alright?" He spoke firmly, sitting down at the dining table across the room.

"Okay," I mumbled.

"Promise."

"Faye, you gon' sleep on the couch because we only got one guest room, and Sop—"

"She can sleep with me." Both teenagers raised their eyebrows in my direction.

"You want me to have sex with you?" She paused for a moment before shrugging. "Okay, I mean I'll do it."

"I mean like, in the bed. It's a big bed, there's room."

A beat.

"You guys want some of my sandwich?"

"Okay," Faye shrugged with a smile, making her way to the table to join Fez. I moved to the couch, too scared to address Fez whose eyes I could feel focused through me.

"Yo, Ash," He called sometime later. "It's time." I tilted my head in confusion, listening closely as Ashtray made a series of noises upstairs. When did he go upstairs? He jogged down to meet us, my gym bag in hand. "Faye why don't you go on ahead to the bedroom. Upstairs, the only door on the left." She nodded slowly and left us.

"I'll wait for you upstairs," she smiled. "Good luck with your interrogation."

"What are you doing with my bag?" I quirked an eyebrow. "Are you kicking me out already?"

"Listen, Soph," Fez spoke, placing himself on the armchair. Ashtray threw my bag on the table before sitting next to me, two sets of eyes burning holes through my being. "Ash told me about what happened with your mom. You know I ain't care if you stay, but if you're gon' be here then you gotta ditch the drugs." I frowned.

"Isn't that like the pot calling the kettle black?"

"We don't have anything here," Ash informed me.

"Look, Soph. We ain't gon' sit here and watch you kill yourself." A pointed look was sent my way.

"Since when do you care?" He clenched his jaw at my remark.

"I ain't gon' sit and argue wit you. You want to stay, fine. You walk with me into that bathroom, and you flush what you got, and we help you get clean."

"And if I don't want to do that?"

"Then you can't be over here no more," Ashtray spoke softly. My heart clenched. On one hand, I understood their tough love. It was the same tough love I encouraged them to give to Rue so many months ago. On the other hand, my mind was fighting my body, desperate to cling to the way I felt when I was strung out.

"You been using for what, a week?" I nodded slowly. "How much?"

"I don't know," I admitted. "A few lines every couple of hours, I guess. Whenever the high wore off, I'd do a couple more."

"So, I mean, gettin' clean ain't gon' be easy but at least you haven't been on it for that long, you know?" He tilted his head toward me. "What else you been takin'?"

"That's it."

"Sophia," Ashtray glared from beside me, nodding toward my bag. "There was more than just cocaine in your bag."

"Snitch."

"Fuck, Sophia. We can't help you if you ain't gon' be honest with us." Fez snapped, leaning forward in his chair.

"Who said I wanted your help?" I sneered, looking him up and down.

"If you ain't want help, you woulda never come here." He was right. I frowned, leaning back, and shifting uncomfortably at the attention.

"There's cocaine, and molly, and a few pain pills. OC's, I think, I'm not sure. I just took whatever he had." Fez's jaw was locked tight, and he refused to meet my eyes as I explained just how deep I had gotten myself. "I didn't really take the molly or the OC's, mostly just cocaine."

"Soph, baby," He breathed. "I—we want to help you. But we ain't gon be able to help you if you don't wanna help yourself." I chewed on the inside of my lip.

"Is it bad?" I asked softly. I've always heard horror stories of what withdrawals can do to people, and how hard it makes getting clean.

The cravings, the depression, the temptations. To me, the easier choice seemed to be grabbing my bag and walking out that door, allowing myself to continue to spiral until one day my addiction killed me. It wouldn't be the best outcome, but it seemed more favorable than suffering through weeks of withdrawals that would make me wish I was dead.

But as I glanced between the two boys who sat with me, I noticed the hurt and heartbreak on their faces. Two boys who became my family, who loved me just as deeply as I loved them, looked at me as though they didn't recognize me anymore. There was fear on their faces, mixed in with confusion and pain. A haze of drugs no longer surrounded me, allowing me to fully process what I was doing to not only them but to my mother. The path I was going down would surely only end badly for everyone in my life.

My lip quivered and I took a shaky breath as the weight of my actions and addictions crushed my chest. I never imagined myself as someone who would be here, crying on my ex-boyfriend's couch while he and his brother staged an impromptu intervention. I never imagined my actions being the cause of their pain and worry. I never imagined myself spiraling so far out of control that I turned to cocaine, snorting away my problems instead of choosing to face them.

"Oh, God. What have I done?" I whimpered, wrapping my arms around myself. Two pairs of arms enveloped me from either side, and I knew it was Fezco and Ashtray doing their best to provide comfort to the broken girl that sat in front of them.

"We here, Soph. We gon' be here if you'd just let us." Fez spoke softly in my ear.

"I don't want to watch you kill yourself." Ashtray's normally steady voice wavered as he continued. "I've seen what happens to people who do this to themselves. It's going to kill you, and then I'm going to have to bury the only sister I've ever had." Damn. The breath was knocked out of my lungs at the weight of his words. I frowned, wrapping both arms around the young boy as Fez leaned back.

"You're not going to have to bury me," I promised. "I—I don't want it to ever come to that."

"It ain't gon' be easy, Soph. It's gonna suck, and you're gonna wish you hadn't chosen to stay clean. It's gon' be fuckin' brutal, but we wanna help you. Let us help you."

"Is that supposed to be reassuring?" I cracked a small smile, turning to meet the all-too-familiar blue eyes I grew to love. He hesitated, but eventually gave me a weak smile in return.

"No, but I wanna be honest with you." He breathed out. I nodded and stood, digging through my bag to produce every package of drugs I had. "This all of it?"

"There was a bag of coke on the dresser—"

"I took care of that," Ash nodded his head toward me. I gave him a small smile in response and scooped up the drugs, making my way to the bathroom with Fez hot on my tail. I assumed Ash wanted to give us privacy, and I was grateful for it. Fezco stood behind me wordlessly, watching as I tossed everything I had in the toilet. When I looked back at him, I found he was already looking down at me.

"You got this, Sunshine." I slipped my right hand in his, giving him a moment in case he wanted to change his mind. He didn't, interlocking our fingers and giving me a reassuring squeeze.

"Here's to better days," I whispered, reaching up and pulling the lever, watching all my vices swirl around the toilet before finally slipping away down the pipes. "I hope."

0 notes

starbright18 · 3 years ago

Text

FIFTEEN - ONLY LOVE CAN HURT LIKE THIS

F I F T E E N - O N L Y L O V E C A N H U R T L I K E T H I S

"your kisses burn into my skin, only love can hurt like this. but it's the sweetest pain burning hot through my veins. love is torture, makes me more sure, only love can hurt like this."

---

The car ride was silent the entire way back to Rue's house. She passed my purse to me once we left the party, and I spent the entirety of the drive staring down at it while I replayed tonight's events. My head was fuzzy from the mix of stress, alcohol, and cocaine. My ankle was sore from when Fez pushed me over and as the adrenaline washed away, I found myself realizing just how much it hurt.

I removed my heels to get a better look at the damage, seeing that the area was turning purple and tender to the touch. When I processed that it was Fez's actions that injured my ankle, I angrily drew my good foot back and kicked it into the back of his seat twice. Ashtray let out a snort, and Fez inhaled deeply but said nothing. When we arrived at Rue's, she gave me a tight hug before stepping out of the car and saying her goodbyes to Fez and Ash.

"You should go with her," Fez's tone was firm, causing me to raise my eyebrows at his order.

"The only way I'm getting out of this car is if you physically drag me out." I challenged him.

"Don't fuckin' tempt me, Soph."

"Try it, please." I could see his jaw clench from my spot in the middle seat. Rue awkwardly closed the door, and as soon as she entered her house, Fez sped off.

Once again, the car was enveloped in silence until we arrived at his house. Once the car was in park, he yanked out the keys and flew out the door, storming up the sidewalk to his house. Ashtray followed, albeit slower, leaving me in the backseat. I shook my head, fighting back tears as I slipped across the backseat and opened my own door, grabbing my purse and slowly putting my bare feet on the ground. I tried to stand but found myself unsuccessful, leaning up against side of the car.

"Fuck me," I cried out, sobbing quietly. It seemed like both boys left me out here to fend for myself, but no more than 30 seconds later, Ashtray came back down the path that led to the house.

"You good?" He stopped in front of me, crossing his arms as he looked me over.

"I—I can't walk," I admitted, fighting back another sob. His eyes fell on my right ankle that I had elevated off the ground to keep pressure off it.

"He did that?" He nodded his head toward my foot.

"Yeah,"

"He didn't mean to," Ashtray stepped forward, grabbing my purse from the floor before sliding his arm under my shoulders allowing me to lean my weight onto him. I scoffed as we began to walk.

"He still did it."

"I know, I'm not saying its not fucked up. I'm just saying he didn't realize it was you he pushed."

"How do you know? You weren't even there."

"It was the first thing he said when he got back to the car before you came out." I frowned, looking down at the young boy who guided me inside. "And about that guy. Listen—"

"Ash—"

"Listen." His voice was firm. He stopped walking as we reached the door, turning his head to look at me. "I understand, I know why you did it. But it was fucked up too. You both fucked up, you both regret it. You should talk to him before you two continue to hurt each other." He paused, letting his eyes search my face before he continued. "I love you, Soph. You're like my sister," he admitted. "But Fez is my brother. And I hate seeing you guys so fucked up over what happened. You were good for him, really good; probably the best thing he's ever had. He was good for you too." With that, he turned away from me, guiding me up the stairs.

"So, you do love me," I teased softly, earning a glare in response. "I'll talk to him, Ash." He nodded curtly, opening the screen door before helping me hobble inside, sitting me on the armchair.

Fez sat on the couch, and once he realized what took us so song, his face fell. I chewed on the inside of my lip, watching him place his head in is hands. Ash stood behind him, aggressively pointing between us before sitting on the couch next to his brother.

"I'm only here to make sure you two don't kill each other." He broke the awkward silence. "Pretend I'm not even here." It was quiet for a long minute before Fezco spoke.

"I ain't mean to hurt you. I'm sorry, Soph." While my heart clenched at the way his voice cracked, my head was full of anger. I scoffed loudly, throwing my body back in the chair.

"Are you?"

"If I didn't mean it, I wouldn't have fuckin' said it."

"Yeah? According to you, you're really good at saying things you don't mean."

"Oh, come the fuck on, Sophia. We really back to that?"

"Yeah, we are." I leaned forward in my seat.

"I fuckin' apologized, bruh. And you know what, that's something your ass still hasn't fuckin' done. Why should I be sorry when you're not?" He pointed an accusing finger at me.

"Who fucking said I wasn't sorry, Fezco?" I stood up, anger consuming me as I focused my weight on my good foot.

"You ain't look fuckin' sorry when you were making out with a fucking stranger." He stood, his fury matching mine as we raised our voices.

"And you didn't look sorry when you flirted with my best friend." He was silent, eyes falling on the floor as he chewed on his lip. My eyes stayed on his face, secretly hoping he'd catch on fire if I stared hard enough.

"Okay," Ashtray drawled out, rising to his feet to stand between us. "So, maybe we should consider the fact that yelling isn't gonna help us fix our problems."

"Ash, can you get my phone out of my purse so I can call my mom." I heard him rustling around but my eyes stayed locked on Fez. "Do you have anything else you'd like to get off your chest?"

"Do you got anybody else you wanna make out with to piss me off?"

"Give me about 10 minutes, I'll make you a list." I scoffed.

"You know what, fuck y—"

"Fez," Ashtray mumbled, pulling my attention toward him. One hand clutched my purse, while the other held something I couldn't see that he tossed to Fez. He scoffed once he caught it, turning toward me, and throwing a clear baggie full of cocaine on coffee table in front of me. My blood went cold as I felt the stares of both boys burning through me.

"What the fuck is that?" Fez raised his voice again, nodding his head toward the drugs on the table. "So, you a fuckin' addict now? Huh?"

"Why do you care?" I shot back, reaching for the bag. Fez's hand shot out, snatching the bag off the table before he turned and angrily threw it down the hallway.

"Because I fuckin' love you, Sophia." He took a large step toward me, our chests nearly touching.

"You left me!" I yelled so loud it hurt my throat. "I stood here, and I laid my heart bare for you. I begged you to stay, and in return you basically told me that being with me was a mistake. And then you left." I choked out as tears began to fall once more. From the corner of my eye, I saw Ashtray slowly backing out of the room, but I paid him no mind as Fez and I stared at each other.

"And I said I was sorry," His voice cracked. I noticed tears pooling in his eyes as well. "I'm so fuckin' sorry. I messed up and I know that. And I would do every fucking thing I could to make that up to you for the rest of my life if I had to." My bottom lip quivered as he took another step toward me.

"It won't be enough, Fez." My voice was scratchy and hoarse. "I want it to be," I took his hand in mine. "I want it to be so badly. But I look at you and all I can see is you leaving me in that alley. I close my eyes and I hear myself crying and begging you to come back and replay you walking away from me. And tonight—" I sobbed. "Tonight, you introduced me to a completely different side of you, and I didn't like who I saw."

"I don't like who I'm seein' either." He whispered. When I realized he was talking about me, I swallowed hard. My mind flashed back to the two kids who met at the convenience store, something that felt like a lifetime ago. I didn't bother to wipe my tears as I stared directly into the eyes of the man I was supposed to love but no longer recognized. It looked like he felt the same about me.

---

"You ain't told me your name."

"It's Sophia." I met him with a smile of my own as I handed him a five-dollar bill for my snack.

"Sophia," he repeated. "That's a nice name. Pretty name for a pretty girl." I think my heart just stopped for a minute. I looked at him expectantly as he handed me my change. "Oh, uh, I'm Fezco. But you can call me Fez."

---

"Shit, to be honest with you, I like good girls." I felt blood rush to my cheeks, forcing me to look toward the couch. "Look, now you blushin'." He pointed out, his hand falling on my thigh.

"Was that an innuendo?" The thought made my heart race.

"Do you want it to be?" His eyes met mine once more. My face remained hot, but I was determined to come off as confident, even if he made me nervous.

"Maybe."

---

"So," I smiled widely. "You think about me enough to talk about me?" I watched as he blew the smoke out of his mouth and turned his head to me, licking his lips.

"Well, to be honest with you, I can't seem to stop thinkin' about you."

---

"So, I was thinkin' we could sit down, maybe order pizza and watch another movie. Your pick this time, though." He suggested.

"If I didn't know any better, I'd say you were asking me on a date." I teased lightly. My heart fluttered at the thought.

"Would it be a bad thing if I was?" He squeezed my knee gently.

"Then it's a date."

---

"Sunshine?"

"Yeah, you know, cause you all bright and bubbly and shit." I furrowed my eyebrows as I glanced up at him, not sure if that was supposed to be a compliment. "I'm not saying it's a bad thing. I mean, personally I prefer sunshine. Always makes my days better." I met his eyes once more, examining his face as he stared down at me silently.

"Are we still talking about the weather?" I whispered softly. My eyes wandered down his face and found his lips before crawling back up his face. I noticed he seemed to be doing the same thing to my face, except his eyes never left my lips.

"No, not really." In a moment of overwhelming confidence, I closed the distance between us and gently brushed my lips over his. Upon noticing he didn't respond, I pulled back quickly.

"I'm sorry, that was—" Fez gently shook his head and moved his free hand up toward my face, pulling me back to him gently. Our lips met once more; not knowing where else to put them, my hands fell upon his chest. What started off as a gentle kiss grew more passionate the longer, we connected, and I found myself being gently pulled into his lap. I broke away gently, still straddling him, and pressed my forehead against his. "—really good. That was really good."

"Like I said, Sunshine makes my days better."

---

"My eyes! My poor eyes!" Ashtray gagged. "Y'all are disgusting. I'm going back to the cooler. Let me know when the lovefest is over out here." He followed up with one last retching noise before he pushed himself off the counter and began to walk toward the cooler. Fez and I shared a look and rushed to grab him, each of us holding one of his arms.

"Aw, my wittle Ashtray doesn't like loooooove." I teased. Fez and I came together in a hug, crushing Ashtray between us.

"Ain't that a bitch." Fez cooed, roughly moving his hand across Ash's head. "Cause I love y'all."

Y'all. He loves us. He loves me?

---

"Tell me somethin' in French." He instructed, glancing down at me through hooded eyes.

"Okay, um..." I trailed off. "Tu as de beaux yeux et tes taches de rousseur sont très mignonnes."

"I don't know what the fuck you just said, but it was the sexiest thing I've ever heard." He stared down at me and slowly licked his lips.

"I said you have beautiful eyes, and that your freckles are very cute." I laughed.

"Mhm, tell me somethin' else." He prodded. When I scrunched up my face in confusion, he shrugged. "You just sound real sexy when you talk to me like that. I like it."

"Si tu penses que je suis sexy maintenant, tu devrais me voir nue." My eyes fell on his lips. His perfect, soft, kissable—

"I think you said somethin' about being nude." He shifted my head off his lap. I sat up gave him a small nod, crawling in his lap. His hands fell on my waist, head tipped up against my chest to look at me. "Well, whatever it was, you naked is somethin' I'd like to see."

---

"Shit," He squeezed my hip tightly. "I think I may love you, Sophia Collins." My heart stopped in my chest, but I found myself smiling wide into his neck.

"I may love you too, Fezco." He used his free hand to guide my face toward his to press a gentle kiss to my lips. "You know, I stand corrected." He hummed lightly in response. "I think you have at least nine functioning brain cells." ---

"She can't kill me for something that she wouldn't be able to see." I rolled my eyes, lifting myself off Fez's lap and ushering Rue out of her seat. She stood, allowing me to take her place.

"What you gon' get?" Fez questioned from across the room. I thought for a moment before smiling widely, leaning forward to meet his eyes.

"You wanna get matching tattoos?"

"Shit," he hesitated for a moment. "Why the fuck not?" ---

"And what happens when your plan backfires, huh? What if you get caught? Or hurt, or killed? What the fuck am I supposed to do then?" Her heart ached at the thought of losing him.

"Then you move on. You get the fuck up out this town, you get the fuck up out this life that I dragged you in." He hesitated briefly, sparing a look at the girl who stood behind him. "You never should've been here anyway, with me."

Sophia swore she felt her heart crack inside her chest. She dropped her hand from Fez's arm, taking a large step back. When he turned to look at her, she swore she saw a hint of regret in his eyes.

"Do you really mean that?" She was whispering now. She was sure that down the hall, Ashtray was listening in. Fez just stared at her. Everything in his body screamed at him. He didn't mean that. He wanted Sophia with him. In fact, he needed Sophia here with him. His brain fought hard against his heart, telling him that the only way he could truly protect her is if she left.

"Yeah, I do." ---

"I know that, okay. You don't think I know that? It was stupid, I was fuckin' stupid. But you gotta understand that I did that shit for you. You think it was fuckin' easy hearing you cry for me?"

"No, I don't. But you still fucking left, and it didn't really seem to bother you much then so why is it a problem now?"

"That's what you fuckin' think? That this shit was easy? Lovin' you ain't fucking easy, Sophia. It ain't, and it never fucking will be." Crack. I felt my heart shatter once more. I slowly nodded my head, watching as Fez recoiled. "No, Soph. That ain't what I meant, I—"

"Loving you hasn't been easy for me either, Fezco. You think I wanted this? To be stuck in this. I—" ---

"Fezco stop!" I yelled. Fez ignored me as he continued to beat Nate's face in. "Fez, please stop! Get off him!"

"McKay! Stop!" Cassie called loudly as I grabbed Fezco's arm. He pushed me roughly with his free hand, knocking me to the floor. I sat in shock, wondering if he realized that it was me he hit. Maddy reacted quickly, immediately reaching down to lift me back up as Cassie continued to plead with Fez.

"Are you okay?" Maddy asked quickly. "Sophia, are you fucking okay?" I nodded slowly as I regained my bearings. I was in shock, although I realized he hadn't processed what he was doing as adrenaline took over.

"Stop, Fezco. Please just stop! Let go!" I cried, watching as McKay finally approached to break up the fight. He grabbed Fezco's arm and jerked him up roughly. In turn, Fez began to throw punches at McKay. Virgil had to step between them, followed closely by me. I smacked my hands against Fez's chest, roughly pushing him away from Nate.

---

"Come here," He whispered, pulling me in close as my knees buckled. We hit the floor together, holding each other tightly while we cried. Sobs ripped through me, and I felt his tears falling on my shoulders. My mind was numb while we held each other and cried.

I cried for girl I used to be, and for the boy I met back in August. I cried for our relationship that deteriorated before my eyes; for the love I had for him, and he had for me. But most of all, I cried for the people I no longer recognized – a broken boy who made an impulsive, aggressive decision, and a strung-out girl who turned to drugs in her darkest moment; two people who once loved each more than words could describe but could no longer remember why.

I'm not sure how long we sat on the floor, but when I looked up again, the sun was rising. Our tears had long since dried, but neither of us wanted to let go in fear that we would never hold each other like this again. Eventually, I pulled back, wiping my face with my hands. My throat was raw from the crying and my face was undoubtedly puffy, but Fezco looked just as bad.

"I need to go home, my mom is gonna worry." I whispered. He opened his mouth to speak but changed his mind as he snapped it shut, standing to his feet, and holding his hands out to help me. I nearly tumbled over, but his arms gripped mine tightly to steady me.

"Let me take you, please." His voice was as soft as I ever heard it, as if he was scared that he'd speak too loudly and scare me off.

"No, I need to do this myself." I shot him a sad smile.

"Soph, you can barely walk. Please, let me drive you."

"Fez," My voice cracked. "I have to do this myself. Please let me." He reluctantly nodded, guilt washing over his face while he watched me hobble down the hallway to Ashtray's room. I knocked twice, waiting for his grunt of approval before I entered. When I opened the door, he was sat on his bed. The bags under his eyes told me he hadn't slept, but it didn't seem to bother him. "I just wanted to say goodbye before I went home."

"Okay," he breathed out, standing to pull me into a bone-crushing hug. "Do you have to go?"

"I..." I hesitated, wrapping my arms around him just as tightly. "I do, I'm sorry. Fez and I, we—we need a little bit of time apart, I think."

"I understand," he breathed out, slowly releasing me. "Are you ever going to come back?"

"I hope so," I gave him the same sad smile I gave Fez. "I want to, one day. We just need some time to figure out what direction we're going in."

"I know," He nodded slowly. "Just—just don't be a stranger, okay?"

"Ash, I'm always gonna be here." I promised. "I still love Fez, and I love you just as much. You are my family and I'd never leave you guys." I was pulled into another tight hug.

"You're our family, too." Before I pulled away, I kissed his temple softly. He said nothing further as I limped out of his room, shutting his door on my way out. Across the hall sat the bag of cocaine Fez had thrown last night, and I scooped it up quickly. I stuffed it in my waistband and made my way back down the hall where Fezco stood by the door, waiting for me. He handed me my purse before pulling me into a tight hug of his own.

"Are we ever gon' make it back to where we were?" His words were muffled, but I understood him clearly.

"I hope so." I whispered, giving him a tight squeeze.

"I love you, Sunshine."

"I love you too, Fezco." I stood on my toes, pressing a lingering kiss against his lips. "I'll see you soon, okay?"

"Yeah, I'll see you soon."

I made it out the door and into the street before my sobs consumed me.

I hope we can get back to who we were, but I'm scared we're just two totally different people than the kids who fell in love so many months ago.

0 notes

starbright18 · 3 years ago

Text

FOURTEEN - ANGELS LIKE YOU

F O U R T E E N - A N G E L S L I K E Y O U

"i brought you down to your knees, 'cause they say that misery loves company. it's not your fault i ruin everything, and it's not your fault i can't be what you need. baby, angels like you can't fly down here with me; i'm everything they said i would be."

---

Maddy, Kat, Jules, and I walked up to the house holding the New Year's Eve party together, all our hands interlinked. Kat and I made up the night of the Winter Formal, and I was no longer mad at her for what she said about Fezco all those weeks ago. In fact, I wasn't mad about anything. For the last six days, I had been running off nothing but cocaine and alcohol, choosing intoxication over facing my problems head-on. It wasn't hard to find a dealer, and Rue and I spent almost every day together over winter break doing drugs and talking about our lives. She was hurt too as Jules left her at a train station on Christmas Eve, putting both of us in the same boat.

Fez texted and called countless times, and so had Ashtray. I ignored Fez's pleas for me to talk to him and I only texted Ash one time to let him know that I still loved him even if Fezco and I fell out. Still, the words we said to each other that night ran on a constant loop in my head. The only time it stopped cycling was when I was too high to remember my own name, and so, I chose drugs as my escape.

"If I don't find a bathroom, I'm gonna spend New Year's with a fucking UTI." Maddy called out to us, pulling me by my hand to guide me into the house.

I stumbled in my heels, but quickly found my footing as we stepped over the threshold. Maddy and I separated as she made her way to the bathroom. I didn't get far before a firm hand gripped my upper arm, pulling me across the house. My eyes narrowed when I realized I recognized the man dragging me along, and once we were in front of the couch, I ripped my arm out of Fezco's grip.

"I can walk just fine on my own, thanks." I snapped, crossing my arms as I looked up at him. He sat, motioning for me to do the same. "I'll stand."

"Suit yourself," He rolled his eyes, leaning back into the cushions. "We gotta talk, Soph. You ain't gonna avoid me no more." Fez's voice was firm, something I rarely heard directed at me. "Listen, about Christmas Eve—"

"We don't need to talk about it. You got everything off your chest that night." I stared down at him. Maybe it was the drugs, or maybe I had finally reached the angry stage of heartbreak, but either way, I felt confident. "Trust me, Fezco, you've said plenty."

"I ain't mean that shit, Soph." He snapped. "You know I ain't mean that shit. I was just tryin' to protect you, to get you away from me so you coulda been safe."

"Yeah, leaving really helped you protect me, huh?" I scoffed "You can't protect me from everything Fezco. And news flash, breaking my heart doesn't automatically make me safe from the troubles and tribulations of the world."

"I know that, okay. You don't think I know that? It was stupid, I was fuckin' stupid. But you gotta understand that I did that shit for you. You think it was fuckin' easy hearing you cry for me?"

"No, I don't. But you still fucking left, and it didn't really seem to bother you much then so why is it a problem now?"

"Loving you hasn't been easy for me either, Fezco. You think I wanted this? To be stuck in this. I—" I was cut off as Lexi flopped down on the couch looking distraught. Fez pulled a blunt from behind his ear and lit it, eyes locked on Lexi.

"Are you guys okay?" She asked in a hushed whisper.

"We—" I was cut off by Fez.

"Yo, you Rue's friend, right?"

"Yeah, since like preschool." Lexi smiled. "Sophia's too."

"Yo, what was your name again?"

"Lexi. Her name is Lexi." My voice was full of venom. Lexi was an innocent third party who had gotten dragged into our spat. I harbored no negative feelings toward her, and instead focused all my rage on the man sitting in front of me. Still, Fez ignored me, eyes still focused on the girl who sat adjacent to him.

"Lexi. I like that. That's a nice name." I scoffed, earning a glare from Fez.

"Go fuck yourself, Fezco." I stormed off to join Rue who I spotted walking inside. A hand slipped in mine, and I whirled around to see Lexi staring at me sadly.

"Are you okay?" She whispered softly. "I'm sorry, I only sat down to see if I could help you guys."

"Lex," I frowned, pulling her into a tight hug. "I'm not mad at you, you did nothing wrong. I'm sorry you got dragged in the middle of this."

"If it's any consolation, you look hot."

"Lexi Howard, are you flirting with me?" I raised my eyebrows suggestively at her.

"I might be," She grinned. "I'm gonna go see what I can do to fix you guys. Let me know if you see Cassie, okay?"

"Don't bother, Lex." I smiled sadly. "Nothing can fix it." From the corner of my eye, I spotted Rue stumbling past and I smiled, pressing a quick kiss to Lexi's cheek before running in the direction Rue was walking in.

"Rue-Rue," I greeted, throwing my arm over her shoulder.

"Sophia, you look like a bombshell," she grinned. "Now, let's go find some drugs."

And so, we wandered around the party, trying several doors that ended up being locked before finally one opened in the basement. Inside was a boy with curly blonde hair snorting a line off the washing machine. Rue apologized, quickly shutting the door before she paused, opening it again to look at the boy inside who was rubbing his nose.

"What were you snorting?" I asked quickly.

"I wasn't. I wasn't snorting anything." He tried to be nonchalant, leaning against the washer.

"Yeah, you were." Rue squinted at him.

"Nah, fixing this washing machine, actually." He tapped it quickly. "I work for uh...Whirlpool." He jiggled the nob causing me to laugh. "You see it? It's all messed up, so I'm just..."

"If you tell me what drugs you're doing, I'll tell you what drugs we're doing." I bargained.

"Yeah, okay, deal."

"Tight." Rue and I entered, slamming the door behind us.

"What did you say your name was?" I smiled widely, looking up to meet the mystery boy's eyes.

"El- uh, Elliot." I paused for a moment, taking in his appearance. He had a few tattoos on his face and his nails were painted black. From where I stood, he looked very hot.

"Nice, I'm Sophia and this is Rue." He met my smile with a bright one of his own, nodding gently down to the drugs on the washing machine.

"It's coke."

Granted I already did a couple of lines tonight, I found myself feeling as though I had nothing to lose. Wordlessly, I stepped over, snorting up a small part of the white line of cocaine that sat on the washer. I sat next to Elliot on the floor immediately, hazily watching as Rue tied her hair up and followed suit. She joined us on the floor moments later.

"Oh, fuck." She groaned.

"You alright?" Elliot asked from his place on the floor across from her.

"I think I'm gonna need you to check my pulse." I looked at Rue in confusion.

"Are you—are you for real?" Elliot pulled out his phone, staring a timer as he held his fingers to Rue's carotid artery, quietly counting the beats of her heart. "Fifty-six."

"Fuck. OH, I think I might be goin' into cardiac arrest."

"Are you fuckin' serious? Do you want me to call an ambulance?"

"Nuh-uh. No, I just... Adderall. Just crush up the Adderall. It's in my sock." Wordlessly, Elliot dug through Rue's sock and produced a small bag full of pills. He crushed it quickly using a lighter and the back of his phone before passing it to Rue, allowing her to snort it. After what felt like forever, Rue's head snapped back up. "There it is. There's my heart. Hello heart... thought I lost ya." Rue mumbled groggily.

"Jesus fuckin' Christ." Elliot whispered. "I'm not sure it's a good thing we met."

"What are you talkin' about?" I threw my arm over his shoulder. "You're my new favorite person." His face went red, but I pretended not to notice.

"Ooh, thought I was gonna die for a second there." Rue chuckled. "Could you imagine just finding me dead? Oh man!"

"So, what drove you two girls to doing cocaine in the basement with a stranger?"

"My boyfriend left me, and her girlfriend left her." I mumbled, slurring slightly.

"You guys got dumped?" He clicked his tongue. "Why?"

"Well, you see, my boyf—ex boyfriend is a drug dealer. And he got in deep shit with a bad person, and to protect me," I mocked lightly. "He left me crying in my Winter Formal dress in the alley outside of his house.

"Wow," Elliot breathed, shooting me a side glance. "He must be stupid."

"He was," I admitted, twiddling my thumbs. "He told me it was hard to love me." I scoffed loudly, throwing my head back against the washer. "As if loving him has been a walk in the park. But enough with the sad stories. You, Elliot, should come dance with me."

Maybe it was the drugs, or maybe it was the way Fezco had spoken about me, but I just wanted a release. And what better way to release my frustration than with an insanely hot drug addict. He didn't reply but allowed me to drag him out of the room and up the stairs. We landed in an empty spot not too far from Fez and Lexi, who I pretended not to notice as I turned my back to Elliot, grinding against him to the beat of the music.

'Party Up' by DMX played loudly across the room, and not too far from me I noticed Maddy dancing with a guy I didn't know. She smiled and waved at me, and I waved back, allowing Elliot's hands guide my hips to the beat of the music. His touch was different that Fezco's. It wasn't accompanied by goosebumps and butterflies, and my body didn't feel electrified at the feeling of his hands on me. I hated myself for still thinking about Fez and how he made me feel after tonight, and truthfully, I felt guilty for not hearing him out.

I shook the thoughts out of my head as I turned in Elliot's arms, giving him a wide smile before I softly pressed my lips against his. There were no sparks, no butterflies, no feelings of desperation or lust. I felt nothing for the boy standing in front of me.

"Do you always kiss guys you just met like that?" He breathed, pulling back slightly to shoot me a toothy grin.

"Only the really hot ones," I smirked, pulling his lips back to mine. It took a moment, but eventually he furthered it, opening his mouth to let his tongue find mine. We didn't break apart until someone roughly grabbed Elliot from behind. I pulled back to see Ashtray who was giving Elliot the dirtiest look he could; a look I returned to him.

"Fez said if you want a ride home then now's the time." He gave Elliot one more harsh look from head to toe before scoffing and running off.

"Isn't he too busy with Lex—" I turned, noticing that Fezco was no longer on the couch with my friend. Lexi sat there still; her eyes trained on something far off. I followed her gaze to find Fez peeling off his sweater, his eyes trained on Nate who stood on the other side of the room. Once the clothing was removed, he began making his way over to the boy standing at the bar, joining him in a conversation.

"Sophia, are you okay?" Elliot asked softly. I didn't reply, stepping away from him quickly to make my way over toward Fez in hopes of catching him before he reached Nate.

"Everyone, everyone. One minute until fucking New Years!"

I hadn't forgotten what he said he'd do to Nate, the thoughts weighing heavy on my mind as I raced through the room. Just before I broke through the crowd, I heard the loud sound of a glass breaking as Fez broke a bottle over Nate's head, punching him quickly. He didn't let up even after Nate was on the floor, mercilessly landing punch after punch. I reached the boys at the same time Cassie and Maddy did, the three of us desperately trying to pull the boys apart.

"Fezco stop!" I yelled. Fez ignored me as he continued to beat Nate's face in. "Fez, please stop! Get off him!"

"McKay! Stop!" Cassie called loudly as I grabbed Fezco's arm. He pushed me roughly with his free hand, knocking me to the floor. My foot rolled in my heel as I landed awkwardly on it and sat in shock, wondering if he realized that it was me he hit. Maddy reacted quickly, immediately reaching down to lift me back up as Cassie continued to plead with Fez.

"Chill, chill, chill. Come on, guys. It's New Year's." Virgil pleaded, causing Fez to finally back off. I glanced at Nate who laid unconscious on the floor, covered in blood. When I looked back up, Fez was giving me a long, hard look. Slowly, he pushed past me, heading for the door. "Help me get him up!" I looked down at Maddy who was helping lift Nate's body off the floor.

"Maddy..." I trailed off, tears filling my eyes as I processed what Fez had done. "Maddy, I—" Maddy just shook her head.

"Go, Sophia. You can't do anything for Nate. It's okay, just go."

"I'm sorry, Maddy." I pressed a quick kiss to Maddy's forehead. I didn't wait to watch them carry Nate out. Instead, I turned on my heel, running out to follow Fezco. I had gotten outside just in time, quickly hopping in Fez's back seat just before they had taken off. When I glanced at Ashtray, he silently nodded toward me. It was going to be a long night.

0 notes

starbright18 · 3 years ago

Text

THIRTEEN - GHOST TOWN

T H I R T E E N - G H O S T T O W N

"before i turn your heart into a ghost town, show me everything we've built so i can tear it all down."

---

ITALICS - MEMORIES/FLASHBACKS!

---

"Please, Fezco." Sophia cried, her words coming out extremely desperate in the silence of the night. "Please, don't go. You don't have to do this. Please, we can figure something else out." She watched the man she loved closely. "I love you. Please don't leave me."

Only an hour before had she found out about Fezco's plan. He was going to rob one of Mouse's suppliers to back the money that he lost when they flushed the pills down the toilet all those nights ago due to Nate reporting them for selling drugs. He hadn't told Sophia because he knew how she'd react. She'd beg him not to go, to stay with her; she'd tell him that they would figure something else out. He hadn't expected her to come back that afternoon after she left his house that morning to get ready for the Winter Formal with her mother.

He pushed her to go, although she really hadn't wanted to, under the ruse of not wanting her to miss out on important high school memories. Sure, that played a part in his insistence. But he wanted Sophia to be far away from his house by the time he left. If he would've gotten caught, it would only hurt her. He could be killed, or go to jail, and she'd be left alone without him. In his mind, walking away from her while she begged for him to come back was better than forcing her to watch him be buried in the ground at his funeral. To Sophia, both scenarios hurt her just the same.

He wanted to turn back upon hearing just how heartbroken she was. He wanted to run off with her, to leave his life behind and start anew with the love of his life, to marry her and protect her from all the bad in the world. That was only a fairytale, though. Fez knew it would never be that easy. He knew doing this was the only option.

They both said things they didn't mean tonight, the weight of their words weighing equally on each of them. They had never fought before. Still, Fezco had to do this. He had to make this money back so that he would live to see Sophia make something of herself, to leave this town and never look back. To her, he took the easy way out, choosing to stand there and rip her heart out as she begged for him to stay. To him, it was the hardest thing he would ever have to do.

And so, as he hopped in his car and sped off into the night, Sophia stood alone in the dark alley. She sobbed quietly as she picked up the bottom of her dress and walked back to the steps attached to Fez's house. She wished she could take back the words she said tonight. All the hurtful this she accused him of, the harsh things she wished for him. Maybe that would make him come back to her. Maybe if she'd have been nicer, he would've stayed. Unbeknownst to her, he spent his car ride suffering through the exact same thoughts.

---

I stumbled in to the formal well past the point of drunk. Once I left Fez's house, I made my way to the nearest convenience store that sold to underage kids, buying multiple shot-sized bottles of Jack Daniel's to accompany me during my long walk to the school. I caught Maddy's attention almost immediately, who gave me a concerned look from her place next to Kat.

"Is that Sophia?" Cassie whispered across the table, successfully pulling the entire group's attention toward me. "Is she like, okay?"

"Hey, guys." I slurred, thumping down in a chair beside Maddy. "You guys look, like, really hot."

"Uh, you feelin' okay, Soph?" Rue asked cautiously. She didn't know that I came from Fezco's, or that her friend just ripped my heart out of my chest.

"Never better. Why do you ask?" I giggled, looking around the dance. I didn't really know what I was looking for, or who for that matter. All I knew was I felt sad and wanted to find someone to fill the empty void in my chest. It took me a moment but eventually I spotted the perfect person. A tall, dark-skinned guy who stood with the other football players. When he met me gaze, he winked at me, and I took that as my invitation to pounce.

"Where are you going?" Maddy asked with a frown as I stood.

"Why does it matter?"

"Sophia, I love you, but you look like shit. What the fuck happened to you?" Concern was written all over her face. "Was it Fez?" She whispered lowly. "Do you want to talk about it? We can—"

"We can what? We can talk about i—it?" I hiccupped. "There's nothing to talk about. Can you turn back time and make it so that tonight never happened? Can you take back the things he said about me? The things I told him?" I raised my eyebrows expectantly at her. "Then we have nothing to talk about."

---

"Uno!" Sophia yelled excitedly, throwing her green 8 down onto the stack of cards on the table. Ashtray eyed her over his own card, having called 'Uno' just moments before her.

"Man, that ain't fair, Soph." Fezco whined from beside her. She didn't know the exact number, but Fez had more than 10 cards in his hand, having been on the receiving end of quite a few 'draw 4's. Still, he laid down his card. Sophia couldn't read Ash's expression, but she smirked in satisfaction as he slowly reached forward to draw a card. Little did Fez know, his green 5 perfectly matched her yellow one. She was going to win the game.

Or so she thought, until Ashtray whooped excitedly from across the table, slamming down the card he just picked up.

"Draw four, bitch!" His eyes grew wide. "Uh, I'm not sure what came over me. Just disregard that statement."

"Ash be gettin', like, real competitive." Fez whispered. Sophia pouted, throwing her final card on the table. "Ah, c'mon now. Don't quit." She crossed her arms and leaned back, glaring harshly at Ash who sat wearing a bright smile.

"Quitter."

"Bitch."

"Sore loser."

"Whore."

"Big baby."

"Ashtray, I'm older than you." Sophia laughed loudly.

"Touché." He relented, throwing his card on the table. "I'm going to my room. Try not to make any babies on the couch." He retreated up the stairs, the loud slamming of his door being the only indication he made it to his room. Sophia smiled softly at Fez who was already smiling at her. His eyes were hooded and glossy, reflecting the high he felt from the weed they smoked prior to playing.

"What time you gotta go get ready for the dance?" He asked softly, trying to gauge just how much time he'd have to prepare for his job tonight. Sophia checked the time on her phone before sighing.

"Now, if I want to be done in time." He leaned over and gave her a longing kiss. She didn't know it, but he was kissing her goodbye. He felt his heart cracking in tiny pieces as the younger girl gathered her things, leaving to get dressed for her first formal.

"I love you, Soph."

"Really, I never guessed," She teased in response.

"I'm serious. I love you, so much." She furrowed her eyebrows in confusion as he pulled her into a tight hug. She chalked it up to him being in an affectionate mood and squeezed him back just as tightly.

"I love you too, Fezco."

---

I was frustrated.

Despite the alcohol and the cute boy behind me, I couldn't seem to get tonight's events out of my mind. I tried hard to forget, but here I stood grinding against a guy that I didn't know, tears slowly rolling down my face as I tried to choke back sobs that fought their way out of me.

"This is like, really weird." Mason called out. "You seem kinda fucked up." At this, I couldn't hold back anymore. I took a big step back and retreated from the dance floor, my heels clicking loudly as I made my way into the girl's restroom. At the counter stood two girls I didn't know, leaning over the counter as they snorted lines of what looked like cocaine.

"Oh, shit, you're not like, a narc, are you?" The blonde of the pair asked.

"That depends," I trailed off. "Do you have any more?" They shared a glance before nodding, pulling a small baggie out from behind them. I watched as they doled out three more lines, both of them snorting theirs before passing me the hallow part of a pen. I hesitated before shaking the thoughts of Fezco's impending disappointment out of my head. He was gone anyway.

"Thank you," I mumbled, stepping toward the sink. Before I could change my mind, I put the pen in my nose and sucked up the last remaining line. It burned, bad. But I felt less empty at the thought of being high enough to forget what happened tonight.

"What the fuck did you do?" Maddy's voice was harsh and full of venom as she stepped into the bathroom, followed closely by Jules and Rue. She eyed the drug paraphernalia on the counter and narrowed her eyes at the two girls. "I'm gonna give you bitches ten seconds to get the fuck out of this bathroom before I beat your fuckin' faces in. Got it?"

They rushed out almost immediately, and I all but ran into a stall as my stomach turned at the realization of what I had done. I sat on my knees dry heaved while Maddy rubbed my back soothingly. Eventually I sat up, leaning my head against the cold metal of the stall. Slowly, I began to sob again.

"Sophia, you're really scaring me." Maddy sounded sincere.

"Fez. He—he left me," I stuttered.

"What do you mean? Where did he go?" I was reluctant to share the details of Fezco's plan. I trusted them, but honestly, a part of me believed that maybe if I didn't talk about it then it would all go away.

"I don't know." I lied. "He wouldn't tell me where he was going, and we fought and—" another sob. "I didn't mean anything I said to him, Maddy. I swear I didn't. He could die and the last thing I told him was that I was always right about him."

"Soph," Rue sat on her knees outside of the stall. "You need to tell us what the fuck happened tonight."

---

"Are you sure you want me to drop you off? Is Fez gonna drive you to the dance?" Isabella watched her daughter, dressed in the outfit she spent weeks picking out, hop out of her car. Her dress was a tad revealing, but she relished in the feeling of pride that came from helping her only child get ready for such an important night.

"Of course, he will." Sophia smiled wide. "He wouldn't let me walk." She was excited to show Fezco her dress. She purposefully avoided giving him any details, wanting to surprise him with the final look. "I'll see you soon, mom. Love you!" She ran as fast as she could to his door, her heels slowing her down a bit as she moved. "It's me, Ash. Let me in!" She yelled out.

From the hallway, Fez looked at Ash whose hand hovered over the doorknob. Ash knew exactly what Fez had planned to do tonight. He also knew that it was a fucking stupid plan. So stupid, in fact, that he refused to let Sophia know what he was doing. Ashtray was hopeful that letting her in would steer him away from his death wish. Fez knew this, so when Ashtray glanced back at him, he shook his head harshly. Ashtray ignored it, opening the door, and stepping aside so Sophia could walk past him.

She looked breathtaking. So much so that Fez was sure his heart would explode in his chest with how fast it was beating. Ashtray greeted Sophia quickly, telling her she looked nice before leaving the room, his shoulder slamming against Fez's on his way out.

"Hi." Sophia breathed out. Fez's silence concerned her. He always told her that she looked good every time he saw her, even if he had just seen her hours prior. Instead, he said nothing, looking down at the floor with his jaw locked tightly. "Are you okay?"

"You shouldn't be here, Sophia." It was only then that she realized just how Fezco was dressed. Wearing all black aside from the large yellow stripe on his hoodie, he stood in front of her. Her eyes wandered down to see a gun that sat tucked in his waistband.

"W—where are you going?" Her heart dropped. "Fezco, what are you doing?"

"I'm doing what I gotta do, Soph. And trust me, the less you know, the better. You should get to the dance before you miss it."

"I will go..." she hesitated. "After you tell me where you're going." Fez ignored her, brushing against her shoulder softly as he headed for the door. She caught him by his arm, but he didn't bother to look back at her. "Fez, where the fuck are you going?" The panic in her voice triggered an ache in his chest, but he still didn't look at her, knowing if he did his resolve would crack.

"I gotta get that money that I owe Mouse before he comes lookin' for it to find that we ain't got it."

"So why do you have a gun?" Realization set in. "Oh, God. Are you going to hurt somebody?"

"Not on purpose." Somehow, Fez's statement wasn't reassuring.

"Fez, we can make up the money a different way. I—I have money in my savings account. And if that isn't enough then I can ask my mom. I know she's been tucking money away for when I leave for school. We—we can borrow it. We can pay him back; you don't need to hurt anybody."

"It ain't enough, Soph. And I ain't gonna ask you to use your money to save my ass. It ain't right. I have a plan, I can do this."

"And what happens when your plan backfires, huh? What if you get caught? Or hurt, or killed? What the fuck am I supposed to do then?" Her heart ached at the thought of losing him.

Sophia swore she felt her heart crack inside her chest. She dropped her hand from Fez's arm, taking a large step back. When he turned to look at her, she swore she saw a hint of regret in his eyes.

"Yeah, I do." No, I don't.

Another crack formed on her heart.

Fez said nothing further, turning on his heel and escaping through the front door. Sophia followed him, watching as he moved toward his car.

"If you leave," her voice cracked as she called out toward his retreating figure. "If you do this, we're done. Okay, Fez? If you get in that car, we're done." She didn't mean it. The last thing she wanted was to leave him. She loved him, and she knew that without him her heart would be empty. She didn't want to live in a world where she didn't have Fezco in her life. To hold her, to make her laugh, to enjoy her time with. But she didn't want to spend her life in a relationship with a man who had a death wish. It would only end badly for her.

"Do you really mean that?" His voice cracked. Her words hurt him, and although Fez rarely ever cried, he felt tears pushing their way forward. His heart was breaking just as much as Sophia's was.

"I love you, Fez. Okay? I love you, so fucking much that it scares me. If anything happened to you, I just—I wouldn't be able to handle it. So please, just come inside. We can figure this out. I love you."

Against his better judgement, he turned around, walking over to join Sophia on the sidewalk. He stared down at her sadly. He could see the heartbreak all over her face, and he was sure she could see his as well. Her makeup was smudged from the onslaught of tears that rolled down her face. It was a sight that broke his heart, especially knowing that he was the reason for her tears. He put his hands on either side of her face, pulling her close so that he could press a soft kiss on her forehead before turning back around.

"I'm sorry."

"Maybe they were right about you all along." Sophia's words hit him like a truck as his hand froze on the handle to his car door. She was right. He would ultimately take her heart and shatter it into a million little pieces. He closed his eyes tightly.

"Maybe they were."

0 notes

starbright18 · 3 years ago

Text

TWELVE - GIRLFIGHT

T W E L V E - G I R L F I G H T

"it's about to be a what? girlfight!"

---

"Yo, Fez. So, you know how in every 90's thriller, right, Morgan Freeman plays, like, the same semi-psychic black cop." Rue rambled from the doorway of Fez's grandma's room. Fez and I shared a confused look before glancing back at the manic girl standing in front of us.

"Yeah," He glanced up at her, continuing to wipe a sponge across his grandma's chest.

"Side note, that's kinda racist, but the point is, in every movie, he's always calmly putting the fucking pieces of the case together, while everybody else around him is fucking freaking out, saying 'You don't know what the fuck you're talking about, Morgan. You're—you're a fucking bad husband. You should fucking retire." Fez and I shared another glance. My eyes were focused on the spastic girl in front of me, both because I wanted to give Marie some privacy, but also because I was worried about Rue.

"But no, Morgan is fucking hyper-focused. Because he can see beyond the little details. He's looking for the big fuckin' picture. Because all of this shit? It's connected, Fez. And it is way bigger than any of us can even fucking see." Rue pointed at her head furiously. "The point is that's me. Right now, that is fucking me. I can see everything so fucking clearly. I know what happened, I know why it happened, and I know what the fuck I'm gonna do about it."

"Word." He looked up at her quickly.

"Word." She stared down at Marie for a moment. "She can't hear me, right?"

"She can't see you either." I informed her, leaning back against the window.

"Okay, good. 'Cause this is, like, some real top-secret shit." Rue stepped further into the room.

"Trust me, Rue, she not gon' gossip." Fez twisted the water out of his sponge before continuing.

"Okay," she breathed, clapping her hands together. "Do you still have that gun?"

"What gun?" My question was directed to Fez as I turned my head to look at him.

"The one from the couch." Rue furrowed her eyebrows at me, pointing out toward the living room. My eyes widened in surprise. We spent a lot of time on that couch and in this house, and I never realized Fezco had a gun. He shot me a sideways glance.

"I mean, I got a couple guns."

"Why do you have so many guns?" Rue's eye twitched when she asked him, taking the words right out of my mouth.

"My grandma."

"Oh, cool," She raised her eyebrows in surprise.

"What you worried about my guns for?"

"Okay, well, I was thinking..." she hesitated. "Maybe you could use one to scare Nate Jacobs." Fez and I both gave rue an incredulous look and my mouth fell open in shock.

"Rue, I love you but that is a horrible idea." I stepped forward.

"Are you serious?" Fez took a small break from the sponge bath, his face expressionless as he stared at Rue.

"I mean, I'm not not serious."

"Rue, that must be the dumbest shit you've said all fucking day." He placed one hand on his knee to lean closer to her.

"You don't have to fucking point it at him. You could just—you could, like—you could flash it." She pulled up the side of her jacket as an example, flashing us a non-existent gun on her hip.

"You really have lost your fuckin' mind, Rue." I gently smacked his shoulder at how harsh he was being, giving him a look that said to be nice.

"Fuck, it's a bad idea, okay? I just was fucking spit balling here." She sighed loudly, placing her hands on her hips. "I mean, he fucked with me, he fucked with Jules, he fucked with Sophia. And I want fucking revenge, okay? Sorry." She threw her hands up in defense as Fezco's phone dinged. He stood and pulled it out of his pocket, and I leaned over his shoulder to see a text from Ashtray.

"Fuck, Mouse is here," He kissed my forehead and stepped around the bed, pulling me with him.

"The guy with the—" Rue circled her finger around her face, and I furrowed my eyebrows. I never met Mouse, so I wasn't sure what she was talking about. My eyes grew wide when Rue and Fez began to talk over each other.

"Alright, so, y'all gon' stay in here. Be quiet—"

"Fez, I can't—I can't stay in here. Like, I'm really –"

"--Yes, the fuck you can. Shh! —"

"—I'm not good with awkward silences."

"—Be quiet. Listen, I'm really serious right now. You just need to sit your manic ass down, and be quiet for five fuckin' minutes, Rue. I'm not fucking playin' with you. Sit down and shut the fuck up." Fez pointed to the chair by the door before slamming the door shut. Rue threw her hands up in surrender and turned toward me, both of us pursing our lips to stifle our giggles. It didn't work, however, and our hands flew to our mouths to cover the sound of our laughter.

"Oh my god," I whispered once we broke apart. "He was like so fuckin' serious and strict, like a disappointed dad."

"He basically is one," I covered my mouth again, a small snort finding its way out of my nose in response. Rue stared at me for a moment before she lost her composure and began to laugh once more.

"Shut the fuck up!" Ashtray's voice growled from outside the door. Rue and I immediately stood up straight, pulling our lips together in tight lines.

"Okay," she breathed out, turning slightly to look around the room. I took the opportunity to pull the blanket over Marie's bare chest to give her some extra privacy while Rue looked around the room. When I looked up again, she was sweating, nervously staring at the pill bottles that sat beside the bed.

"Rue," I hesitated, reaching out toward her. Before I could grab her, she slipped out of the room and began sneaking down the hallway. I followed her closely, trying to get a good grip on her arm to pull her back without anybody noticing.

"Yo, I'ma need you to start moving some weight," A deep voice that I assumed belonged to Mouse called out.

"Yo, I'm just trying to keep it lowkey over here, man." Fez defended.

"And I'm tryna make fuckin' money." My hand fell on Rue's wrist, but she brushed me off, continuing to creep down the hall.

"Even I wanted all this shit, bruh, I don't got the money for all this, man."

"That's why you in luck. I'm gonna front it to you. Ten percent on the vig, and I'll collect in a month." The living room fell in our sights. Fez was sitting in an armchair next to the couch where a bald man sat next to a guy sitting on the arm of it. My eyes met Fezco's, and if looks could kill I was sure we'd be dead. I paused, watching as Rue continued to creep her way toward the door.

"I'm not tryin' to do all that shit, man."

"I ain't askin', bruh." Mouse laughed. "Step yo shit up." Fez rubbed his hand across the top of his head as Rue slipped out the front door. I found myself falling back, taking slow steps to make my way back into Marie's room where I sat until Fez came to get me. I wasn't sure what Mouse wanted Fez to get into, but all I knew was I wasn't happy with the idea of him possessing and selling more than he already was. To me, it felt like a recipe for disaster. Boy, do I wish I had known just how right I'd be.

---

The following night, I sat at Cassie's dining room table with her, Kat, Maddy, BB, and Lexi. She called us all here but hadn't told us what we'd be coming for. At first, I thought it may have been for a girl's night, but the look on her face was serious and the energy in the room somber.

"I don't know what you're gonna say but this feels, like, super dramatic." Kat was the first to break the silence.

"Yeah, this is spooky." BB chimed next to her.

"It is not spooky, BB." Cassie tilted her head toward her. "I just need your guys' advice on like, 2 things." The five of us shared a collective glance. "And I need you guys to promise me not to say a single fucking word." We all nodded in response. "Okay, so the night of Daniel's Halloween party, something happened."

Kat tensed up and looked away from Cassie, meeting my eyes. She looked nervous but I wasn't quite sure why. However, it didn't take a genius to realize that Kat had done something regrettable that night. My eyes widened as I put the pieces together, and I raised my eyebrows at Kat.

"What the fuck did you do?" I mouthed across the table. She shook her head quickly and looked away from me causing me to kick her foot under the table. She groaned, pulling all attention toward us. "Sorry, I thought that was the leg of the table." Cassie gave us a weird look.

"Wait, so am I hearing this correctly?" Maddy asked from beside Cassie. "You wanna tell McKay that you made out with Daniel? At the carnival and at Halloween?"

"Yeah, but I don't—I don't have to say it was Daniel." Cassie mumbled.

"Bitch, that's the craziest idea I've ever heard. Right?" Maddy turned toward the rest of us.

"For sure," BB agreed, looking intently at Cassie.

"It kinda seems like a bad idea," I agreed. "Maybe it would be better off unsaid."

"Yeah, but I want to be honest with him." Cassie looked between all of us, and Lexi groaned in response.

"You cannot tell McKay," I leaned closer to the table.

"But it's not like cheated-cheated," Cassie's frown deepened.

"Kissing is worse!" I called across the table. "It means a lot more than just going out and meaninglessly fucking somebody."

"Right, it's so much more intimate." Maddy agreed. "And if anybody brings it up, you deny, deny, deny." From the corner of my eye, I saw Kat shooting Maddy a dirty look. I had no idea what happened between them, but it was clear it was something big.

"Okay, but I just—I don't want there to be something this bad between us forever." Cassie directed her statement toward Maddy.

"I wouldn't worry about it, Cassie." Kat spoke up. "It's not like you guys are gonna be together forever."

"Kat!" I raised my voice at the girl sitting next to me, shooting her an incredulous look. Maddy narrowed her eyes from the other side of the table.

"What the fuck is your problem right now? You're being a bad friend now. You were a bad friend to me, and this whole new personality is seriously unlikable."

"World star," BB called out, leaning back in her seat.

"Maddy," I warned, glancing between the two girls that were giving each other dirty looks.

"Why, because I won't sit and listen to you bitch and moan about your psychotic, abusive boyfriend who you've literally broken up with a thousand times?" Everyone's eyes grew wide.

"Kat, what the fuck. That's so uncalled for. What the fuck is your problem?" I jumped to Maddy's defense. Sure, Nate was abusive and psychotic, Kat wasn't lying, but she didn't have to deliver the truth so harshly.

"Stay out of this, Sophia." She scoffed, holding her hand up to stop me from speaking. I jerked my head back in surprise and was about to tell her to move her hand when Maddy continued.

"It was literally the lowest point in my life, so, yeah. That and the fact that you're just fuckin' mean."

"Maddy, ever since I've met you, all you do is talk about yourself. Your clothes, your boyfriend, whatever superficial shit you think is so fucking important. Sorry I'm no longer interested." Kat leaned back in her chair. "And if I'm such a bad friend, what does that make Sophia?"

"Me?" I scoffed.

"Yes, you. All you ever do is run around and pretend like you're actually there for us when really, you've been nowhere to be found because you're too busy hanging out with your loser drug dealer boyfriend." My cheeks flushed as anger rushed through me. I stood up, slamming my hands down on the table.

"What the fuck did you just say?" I raised my eyebrows, encouraging her to continue. "Please, repeat that. Because if I heard you correctly then I'm gonna beat your ass." She looked down at the table, refusing to meet my eyes. "Yeah, that's what I thought. And newsflash, Kat. I only see one loser in my life, and it isn't Fezco."

"I don't know about everyone else, but I miss the old Kat. You know, the one who had a sense of humor and wasn't a fuckin' cunt." Maddy snapped across the table.

"Damn," BB breathed out. Kat was silent for a moment before standing abruptly and walking out the door.

"Does anybody else feel the same way Kat does?" I breathed out, still standing. "Please, get it off your chest now."

"No, of course not." Lexi spoke, one of her hands reaching out to grab mine and squeeze it reassuringly.

"Anyway," I cleared my throat, taking my seat back at the table. "Back to Cassie and McKay."

---

The following night, I sat with Fezco at his store, perched on his counter sharing a blunt with him while he worked. I hadn't seen him the night before, choosing to spend the night catching my mom up on what happened with Kat. Tonight, I filled Fez in on the same events. He was

"So, anyway, Cassie called us all to like a big girl meeting. It was super serious; she was worried about her relationship with McKay being ruined." I paused, taking a hit from the blunt he offered me. "And then Kat fucking tells her not to worry about it because it wasn't like they were going to be together forever. I mean, who fucking says that to someone?"

"Right," He nodded, eyeing me suspiciously.

"Right, so then Maddy told her she was being a bad friend, and then Kat attacked Maddy because of Nate and put their relationship on blast, and I asked Kat what her fucking problem was because it was uncalled for." I sucked in a large breath. "Then Kat turned on me and said if she's a bad friend then what does that make me, and I was like what the fuck are you talking about."

"Word."

"Then she had the audacity to tell me that I pretended like I was there for them but really I was always too busy with my 'loser, drug dealer boyfriend'." His eyebrows raised in response. "Her words, not mine."

"And then what you do?"

"I, uh—" I blushed, tucking my hair behind my ear. "I may have stood up and slammed my hands on the table and told her to repeat herself because if I heard her correctly then I was gonna beat her ass."

"Damn," he whistled lowly. "It's like that, huh?"

"I guess it is. I wasn't gonna sit and let her call you a loser and get away with it, it's not true." He stepped forward and pressed his lips against mine briefly. I wrapped my legs around him from where I sat on the counter and laughed. "Me standing up for you turns you on?" When we pulled apart, Nate's truck was pulling up under the carport. Fez took another hit from the blunt and turned his head to blow the smoke away from my face before gently smacking the inside of my thigh.

"Why don't you go say hi to Maddy," he suggested, stepping out from between my legs. I opened my mouth to argue but he shot me a look that said not to.

"You never let me do anything fun," I grumbled, sliding off the counter to stomp passed him. He tapped my butt as I passed, something I chose to ignore.

"Hey, Soph. What's up, Fez?" I gave Nate a tight-lipped smile as I walked past him, heading for the passenger side of the car where Maddy was rolling down the window to greet me.

"Hey, babe," I greeted, leaning into the car to kiss her cheek.

"Hey, Soph." She smiled widely. "What's that about?" I turned my head to see Fez staring down Nate, who leaned against the cooler with his back facing us.

"I don't know," I murmured. "Pretend to talk to me so we can listen in without getting caught."

"Aren't you, like, her drug dealer?" Nate was barely audible from where we sat outside, but I could still hear what he was saying. I assumed they were talking about Rue.

"Nah, man."

"What, are you in a relationship?" Nate prodded, tilting his head backward to point in my direction. "Because last I heard, your girlfriend is right out there."

"Nah, bruh, that's like my family." Fez sniffed.

"So, it's platonic." Nate teased. Maddy and I shared a look once we realized Nate was pushing Fez on purpose.

"Look, man. All I'm sayin' is leave her and her friends alone."

"Is that a threat?"

"Oh, god," I whispered. Maddy threw her arm out of the window and gripped my hand tightly.

"Nah, I'm just telling you."

"Or what?"

"We not gon' be having this conversation." The look in his eyes was deadly. Nate turned his head toward us which caused both Maddy and myself to abruptly turn the other direction, acting as though we weren't listening. We glanced back to see him take a few slow steps toward Fez.

"Fezco, let's get this straight. You're, like, half a retard. You dropped out of school at 18 and now...you're a gangster?" I quirked an eyebrow as Nate continued to poke at Fez. Anger began to bubble in my stomach, and I found myself considering just how much jail time I'd get if I shot Nate Jacobs tonight.

"I'm sorry, Soph." Maddy whispered. I turned my head toward her and gave her a reassuring smile. After all, Nate being an asshole was far from being Maddy's fault.

"Listen, bruh. All I'm sayin', you keep fuckin' with Rue and her friends, and I'ma kill you." Maddy's hand tightly squeezed mine, and suddenly it was my turn to apologize. Deep down, we both knew that Fez could kill Nate. Shit, I don't even think he'd hesitate to. Once Nate paid and grabbed his stuff, he came sauntering out of the store. He passed Maddy her stuff through the window and with a brief farewell hug for my best friend, I was stepping away from the truck.

"Fucking prick," I spoke loud enough that I knew he'd be able to hear me as I stepped away from the store. His hand grabbed my upper arm and I saw Fez take two large steps forward to reach us, but before he could I swung my free hand around and slapped Nate harshly across the face. His head snapped to the side with a satisfying smack that left my hand stinging, but I didn't let it bother me as I continued, jerking my arm out of his grip and shoving my finger in his face. "Don't you ever fucking touch me again."

"Aight, bruh, I think you need to go." Fez stepped between us.

"Nate, come on, now." Maddy's voice was full of venom, and I couldn't tell if it was directed toward me. When I turned, however, I noticed her fiery glare was set on Nate Jacobs himself. Nate smirked and nodded slowly before relenting, walking back to the truck before peeling out of the parking lot.

"You good, Soph?" Fez's voice was full of worry as he gently grabbed my arm and examined it. The area was red, but it didn't hurt. Truthfully, the satisfying sound of my hand meeting Nate's face was a wonderful pain reliever. "I'ma fuckin' kill him."

"No, it's okay," I promised, taking my arm back gently. "Besides, slapping him did wonders for my mental health." He let out a loud laugh, bringing his hand to my face to brush his thumb gently across my cheekbone.

"Mhm, and you were damn sexy doin' it."

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starbright18 · 3 years ago

Text

ELEVEN - I LUV THIS SHIT (18+)

E L E V E N - I L U V T H I S S H I T

"and i'ma keep on strokin', 'cause she luv this dick. and i'ma keep on lickin', 'cause she luv it. she tell me keep fuckin, cause she luv this shit, and i luv it."

[heavy smut warning. you can skip this chapter if you're not comfortable without missing any important information]

---

He guided me off the counter and I unzipped my boots quickly, kicking them off to the side. He dropped to his knees in front of me, hands guiding the rest of the bodysuit and my fishnet tights down my legs, helping me step out of them before gently pushing me up against the counter. My hand fell on the back of his head, the other being pulled to interlock our fingers. His free hand worked on spreading my legs, exposing more skin for him to lick and suck on. He trailed sloppy kisses up both sides of my inner thighs, my moans seemingly only edging him on. He let out his own hums of appreciation as he worked. A loud moan tumbled out from between my lips as his tongue slipped its way between my folds. He pulled back almost immediately, causing me to whine in response.

"Nah, baby. You gotta be quiet if you want me to keep goin'." He instructed softly. I nodded in response, using my hand to pull his head back between my legs. I bit my lip to stifle my moans as his tongue explored my clit and lapped up my wetness, something I had never experienced before. His hand squeezed mine tightly, causing me to look down at him. He was already looking at me, his blue eyes appearing dark, and lust-filled. "You taste so good, baby." He grounded quietly and I felt my pussy clench at the sound. Not wanting to wait any longer, I used the hand on the back of his neck to pull him up, eagerly pushing my lips against his. My mouth immediately opened, allowing his tongue to enter. I whimpered at the taste of myself on his tongue, and he pushed his hard dick into my stomach in response.

"Take these off," I tugged at his waistband, undoing the button for him. He kicked off his shoes as well before pulling off his pants and underwear and stepping out of them. I felt myself get even wetter, if possible, at the sight of his fully erect dick pressed against his stomach. Deciding to return the favor, I spun us around, pushing him against the counter as I dropped to my knees. Both of my hands rested on his thighs, spreading his legs apart much like he did with me. I hesitated, glancing up at him to meet his eyes.

"You look nervous," he quirked an eyebrow at me, one of his hands falling to rest on the back of my head. "You ain't ever done this before, huh?" I shook my head in response. "You ain't gotta." He tried to pull me to my feet.

"I want to," I glanced down at his dick. "I really want to. You can show me what you like, and how you like it." I suggested. He narrowed his eyes at me before nodding. His hand on the back of my head shifted slightly to grab a handful of my hair before guiding it toward his crotch. Trying to remember what pornstars did in their videos, I slowly lapped at the tip of his cock, catching the precum almost immediately. When I looked at him, I found he was already looking down at me.

His face only increased my arousal as he was glancing down at me with half-opened eyes, his lips parted as small moans slipped out. He used his hand to guide my open mouth down the length of his dick, my tongue staying flat against the bottom. He guided me back, almost to the tip before he pushed me back down once more. He repeated this a few times, each time pushing my head down further until finally my nose was pressed against his pubes. A small gag came from my mouth at the feeling of his tip pressing against my gag reflex, and I tried to pull back in a panic fearing it would gross him out. Instead, he groaned loudly, placing his other hand on the back of my head, and using both to pull my mouth closer, guiding his dick down the back of my throat. He held it for a moment, his head thrown back in bliss as he jerked his hips forward, fucking my throat. A moment later, he was guiding my head back and back and pulling me up to meet him, turning the tables and putting me on the counter once more.

"I can't wait no longer, I wanna fuck you." He breathed out, his eyes searching mine.

"Then fuck me, Fezco."

I didn't have to tell him twice. Carefully he grabbed my thighs, guiding me to the edge of the counter until I was just barely hanging off. One hand intertwined with mine once more, and the other guided the head of his cock between my folds, collecting my arousal. He groaned at the feeling before lining himself up and leaning in to capture my lips as he pushed into me. He was slow and careful, taking multiple soft thrusts to work himself inside of me until he was all the way in, soft pants of bliss coming from him at the feeling. His first deep thrust made me gasp at the feeling, and slowly he began to set a pace, at first working carefully and with purpose before gradually picking up as he went. His hips slammed against mine and I moaned loudly at the feeling of him hitting all the right places inside of me. He took the hand that was holding mine and covered my mouth, just firmly enough so no noises could be heard, his other hand gripping my hip to keep me close to him.

"Uh-uh," He shook his head gently, picking up the pace as his cock slammed into me. "If you want me to fuck you then I'ma need you to be a good girl and stay quiet, okay?" My eyes rolled back at his words, both of my hands gripping either of his shoulders so tightly I was sure I would leave marks. "Fuck, you feel so good, baby." He mumbled, his eyes leaving my face to watch his length go in and out of my pussy. Sex with Fez was like nothing I had ever experienced, truly. He was gentle while still knowing just how deep and how hard to thrust to hit all the right spots; his movements were careful, almost as if they were designed to get the most pleasure from me rather than himself.

As he continued to thrust into me, each one seemingly deeper than the last, I felt an all-too-familiar knot beginning to form in my stomach. I turned my head to the side to remove his hand from my mouth.

"I'm gonna cum, please," I begged, my words coming out broken and choppy with moans in between.

"Mhm," he moaned, using his free hand to grab my other hip and pull me closer to him when I slid back on the counter due to the force of his thrusts. "What you runnin' for, baby? You talked all that shit before, now you gon' sit there and take my dick like you wanted. Okay?" I nodded in response, my head falling backward as I stifled another moan. "Yeah, I bet you gon' look so pretty cummin' on me." His words set me off and my nails harshly scraped against his chest as I felt myself coming undone in front of him.

Once again, his hand covered my mouth, which was for the best as I screamed in pleasure. He was close behind, pulling out of my pussy just in time to release on my stomach. My legs were shaking, and my body felt weak as I leaned back against the mirror.

"You good?" He chuckled lightly. I felt his hand brush against my cheek gently before brushing back the hair that stuck to my forehead due to sweat.

"Yeah, I feel great." I breathed out, opening my eyes to meet his. My eyes glanced down to see the mess on my stomach and I giggled quietly.

"Come on, let's get you cleaned up so I can get you home, Sunshine. I ain't done with you yet."

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starbright18 · 3 years ago

Text

TEN - PARTY GIRL

T E N - P A R T Y G I R L

"lil' mama a party girl. she just wanna have fun, too. they say you ain't wifey type, but i don't care, i want you."

---

Halloween – the one night a year when girls can dress like a total slut and no other girls can say anything about it. I spent weeks deciding on the perfect costume for the Halloween party before settling on Cat Woman. Fez tried to get me to tell him what I was going as, but I chose to keep it a secret in favor of surprising him tonight. My hair was down, falling in loose golden waves, and my face was partially covered by a black leather mask with cat ears protruding from the top. I wore a black leather bodysuit with a tail attached that zipped in the front with a large opening around my chest and sleeves that allowed my shoulders to be exposed while my arms stayed covered. Paired with a black choker, fishnet tights, and knee-high black leather boots, it was safe to say that I felt incredibly sexy.

Before Jules showed up to walk me to the party, I decided to have some fun with Fez. Posing in front of my mirror, I tilted my phone horizontally and took a picture of my outfit that only showed the bodysuit, before turning around to get a picture from the back. With no other context, I sent the two pictures to Fez, walking down the stairs to sit outside while I waited for his reply.

fezco <3: so that's what u doin? i still owe u smth from that day at the school

don't start smth u aint gon finish, sunshine

I smiled, grabbing my signature Cat Woman whip from the couch. My mom was working tonight which was a relief because I know if she saw my outfit, I would never be allowed outside again. The doorbell rang, and I threw the front door open to find Kat, Rue, and Jules on my doorstep. Kat was dressed as Thana from Ms. 45, while Jules was dressed as Claire Danes from Romeo and Juliet, and it appeared that Rue was dressed as Marlene Dietrich from Morocco. Jules was also seemingly intoxicated as she stared at me with a large smile. I smiled at both, although Rue and I hadn't really spoken since that night at Fezco's house weeks ago.

"Holy shit, Sophia," Jules squealed. "You look fucking hot, like a sexy dominatrix." I laughed loudly, shaking my head, and stepping outside before locking the door.

"You guys look hot too!" I squealed back. Jules grabbed Kat's hand on her right side, and my hand on her left and interlocked our fingers as we walked down the stairs, and after a moment of hesitation, I held my free hand out to Rue. She stared at me for a moment before taking it. "You look good, Rue."

"Thanks, I—thanks." She gave me a weak smile. I tilted my head at her and she gave a curt nod toward Jules. It was then that I noticed what was bothering Rue – Jules, who I had rarely ever seen intoxicated, was wasted and the party hadn't even begun.

"Have you talked to Fez?"

"I haven't. I want to but I don't think he'd want to hear what I have to say." She wouldn't meet my eyes.

"He does," I promised softly. "He loves you, Rue. You should talk to him; I know it'd make him really happy."

"Let's not talk about sad stu—stuff," Jules hiccupped. "It's Halloween, we're supposed to be partying."

"The plan is to get fucked up tonight," Kat agreed. Rue was silent, and I knew it was a push on her sobriety to be here tonight and see Jules getting wasted without her. Out of respect for her, I didn't reply. Sure, I planned to get fucked up too, but I didn't need to rub it in her face. It wasn't long before we approached Lexi and Cassie's house, where Lexi threw open the door to greet us. Dressed in an afro coupled with a fake beard and button-up shirt, we stared at her in confusion.

"I'm Bob Ross!" She announced proudly, throwing her hands up as she smiled at us. "The painter from PBS." Kat was the first to crumble releasing a small snort. This sound set me off and I found myself laughing loudly, followed by Jules and Rue. Lexi looked embarrassed, and I felt bad, but her costume was such a Lexi costume that I found it quite funny I hadn't seen it coming.

"Hey, creepy," Suze laughed from the living room. When Lexi stepped back, we all piled in the door. "The whole point of Halloween is to look attractive."

"No, it's not." Lexi argued.

"Oh, really? You do me a favor and you count how many girlfriends of yours are dressed up like 50-year-old men. Report back to me." She teased, stuffing her face with popcorn. Stomps on the stairs pulled us away from Suze, our eyes falling on Cassie who was dressed as Alabama Worley.

"Is it too much?" She asked, pausing on a step.

"No,"

"Absolutely not,"

"Wow,"

"Cassie, I'm gonna need you to put those away before you make me have a heart attack," I teased lightly. She smiled widely, jogging down the rest of the stairs. As we walked to the Halloween party, I held Lexi's hand, the two of us quietly discussing school and what happened over the week.

"Wait, did you guys hear about Nate?" Cassie asked.

"No," Kat shot her a sideways glance.

"He was cleared of all charges," I informed them with a small frown. "Supposedly, Tyler from the back-to-school party is the one who assaulted Maddy."

"And you believe that?" Kat scoffed.

"No, but apparently everyone else does." Lexi frowned. Before the mood could be soured, we walked up the driveway to the party. Rue, Jules, and I immediately went for the kitchen. They began pouring shots of tequila, but I hesitated before joining them, glancing at Rue.

"Go ahead, don't hold back on my account," she gently pushed me forward. I nodded, pressing a quick kiss to her cheek before joining the girls at the counter.

Once we all had shots poured out, we tapped them on the counter in sync before throwing them back. The liquor burned my throat, and I shook my head harshly trying to rid myself of the aftertaste as I poured another one. We took 3 more shots together before relenting, Kat and I choosing to pour ourselves mixed drinks whereas Jules took the entire bottle of tequila.

"Tequila makes me aggressive," Kat cringed, throwing back another shot.

"Ugh, tequila makes me want to dance," Jules smiled widely.

"I don't know about you guys," I smiled, picking up my glass, beginning to feel my cheeks burn from the effects of the shots. "But tequila makes me want to get dicked down, and somewhere around here my boyfriend is waiting for me, so I'm going to go find him." I gave them a small wave, turning to walk away. Before I left, I turned back and snagged the bottle of Red Berry Cîroc from the counter, shrugging before taking it with me to find Fez. I found him in the living room, making his way through the crowd.

"Look who it is, my little Cat Woman," he smiled, watching me approach.

"Hi, baby," I smiled back, popping the lid off the liquor before tilting the bottle upward and taking a large drink. I shook my head at the bitterness before offering the bottle to Fez, who took an equally large drink. Eventually I took off the mask and choker, and made small talk while I finished my cup. As we chatted, we finished most of the bottle. "I wanna dance," I announced, slurring slightly. He hesitated before nodding, placing the bottle and the whip on the coffee table before guiding me out into the crowd.

'Promiscuous boy, let's get to the point cause we're on a roll, you ready?' The song blasted through the speakers. I found myself facing Fez, holding both of his hands as he playfully spun me around.

"—Roses are red, some diamonds are blue. Chivalry is dead, but you're still kinda cute," I sang, stepping closer so we were pressed together, swinging around and dancing clumsily.

"—Hey, I can't keep my mind off you. Where you at? Do you mind if I come through?" He sang back, dipping me backward quickly before pulling me back up.

"I'm out of this world, come with me to my planet. Get you on my level, do you think you can handle it?"

"They call me Thomas, last name Crown. Recognize game, I'ma lay mines down." He used his free hand to point to himself.

"I'm a big girl, I can handle myself, but if I get lonely, I might need your help," I spotted Jules and reached out quickly, grabbing her, and pulling her toward me as I sang. "Pay attention to me, I don't talk for my health,"

"I want you on my team—" She sang loudly, leaving one hand intertwined with mine while the other held the bottle of alcohol from the kitchen.

"—So does everybody else!" We shouted in sync. I turned myself so that my back was pressed against Fez's chest, still holding Jules' hand as we all rocked to the song and sang together. Once it ended, the three of us danced through four more songs before Fez politely pulled me away to go outside and smoke.

We sat on one of the couches, myself pressed into his side with one leg thrown over both of his while he gently moved his thumb in circles on the inside of my thigh. A guy I had never met approached, slipping Fez a small wad of cash. Fez smacked a clear baggie in his hand, passing it off as a handshake before the boy left. He barely hit the blunt he had in his hand before a throat cleared and pulled our attention away. Fez's head whipped over as he blew smoke out of his mouth, spotting Rue standing awkwardly on the other end of the couch,

"Hey, what's up, kid?" He smiled softly, passing the blunt to me. I took a hit, turning away from them to blow the smoke out before passing it back.

"Hey, guys," she nervously twisted her hands. "Uh, look, I owe you an apology."

"Nah, come on, now." He jerked his head toward the other end of the couch, inviting her to sit. "We good."

"Bro, man. I, um—" She breathed out, nervously sitting beside him on the edge of the couch. "I said some really fucked up shit I didn't mean." Fez glanced at me before looking toward the floor.

"Listen, Rue. You a drug addict. I don't take nothin' a drug addict says personally 'cause I don't believe nothin' a drug addict say." He turned his attention toward her. "I love you; I hate you. You the best. Go fuck yourself. It's all the same shit. You know what I'm sayin'? Y'all just lookin' for an angle in." My hand gripped his that still rested on my thigh, giving it a reassuring squeeze as I leaned forward to peer around him so I could see Rue.

"Yeah, I know, but as your friend, I need you to know that I'm sorry. To both of you, really. I love you both."

"I love you, too, kid."

"I love you, too, Rue-Rue," I used my free hand to reach over and squeeze hers reassuringly.

"And thank you for not...selling me drugs," She hesitated, making Fez breathe out harshly from laughter.

"As your friend, I got you." He promised. She visibly relaxed, nodding her head and pulling her legs up onto the seat as she sighed. "You sober?"

"Yeah," she breathed out harshly.

"How is it?" I asked softly.

"You know, it's weird. I've been fucked up so long that it kind of feels like a new drug." She informed us.

"I feel you."

"The highs are high." She paused for a moment. "But the, uh, the lows are low."

"We're always here if you need us, Rue," I promised, removing myself from Fez to stand and pull the girl into a hug. "Always."

"What she said, kid." He paused, looking up at Jules who stumbled past, throwing her cup on the ground. "Yo, ain't that y'all's homegirl right there?" As he finished his sentence, she walked off the edge of the area around the pool and fell in with a splash.

"Oh, my god," I stood quickly, rushing around to where she fell in with Rue hot on my heels. Jules swam up to greet us as we squatted at the edge of the pool.

"Jules, what are you doing?" Rue asked.

"Although I joy in thee, I have no joy in this contract tonight." Jules threw her head back as she floated.

"What are you talking about? I don't know what that means?"

"it's too rash. Too unadvised. Too sudden." Rue glanced down at me, giving me a small head nod. I took it as my sign to give them some privacy, kissing Rue's forehead softly before I returned to Fez who was still sitting on the couch watching the interaction closely.

"She good?" He asked as I sat beside him, watching as Jules and Rue seemingly bickered.

"I don't think so," I shook my head gently, watching as Jules yanked Rue off the pool platform and into the water. I tensed up when Rue resurfaced, rushing out of the pool and through the house in a hurry.

"You know, we still ain't talk about those pictures you sent me tonight." Blood rushed to my cheeks at his statement. Maybe it was the alcohol, or maybe it was the weed, but my confidence was insurmountable as I leaned into him, brushing my lips lightly against his.

"Come dance with me, for real this time," I smirked playfully. I gave him no time to object before grabbing his hand and pulling him behind me back into the house where 'Partition' by Beyonce was playing loudly. We picked a semi-empty spot in the living room where Fez took my hand and spun me around, so my back was pressed against his chest, pulling me in by my hips until my ass was firmly pressed against his crotch.

'I do this all for you, baby just take aim. And tell me how it's lookin' babe, and tell me how it's lookin' babe, lookin' babe.'

His hands guided my hips to the beat of the music. One of my hands rested on his, while the other reached behind me to grip the back of his neck while my head rested on his shoulder. As he moved me against him, he leaned his head down pressing featherlight kisses all over my neck. The heat from his heavy breathing coupled with the feeling of his hands on me drove me feral, admittedly. I found myself pushing against him harder if possible, loving the sound of his breathing getting heavier as we danced.

'Driver roll up the partition, please. Driver roll up the partition, please. I don't need you seeing 'Yonce on her knees.'

As the tempo of the music changed, I spun around, pressing my chest against his. My arms wound around his neck while his hands fell on my ass, pulling me into him. We moved together, this time choosing to hold eye contact waiting to see who would crack first. One of his legs was practically in between mine, setting the pace as he moved me against it. He looked at me through hooded eyes, mouth partially opened as pants escaped his mouth.

"If we keep doin' this, we ain't gon' make it home," He teased lightly, leaning down to speak softly in my ear.

"Well," I leaned up, brushing my lips against his earlobe as I spoke. "I guess we aren't going home." He inhaled deeply before nodding, capturing my hand, and turning on his heel, guiding me through Daniel's house. He tried a few different knobs before he eventually found the empty bathroom, pulling me inside before he shut and locked the door. "Hi," I smiled cheekily.

"Hi," He smiled back, gripping my waist using his body to walk me backward until my back hit the counter. He captured my lips in a fiery kiss, our teeth nearly clashing at the force. I laughed softly, and he took the opportunity to slide his tongue in my mouth. I invited it, our tongues moving around each other as we fought for dominance – a battle that I was destined to lose. He leaned down slightly and moved his hands to the backs of my thighs, and in one swift movement, I was being lifted and placed on the bathroom counter.

He leaned down slightly and moved his hands to the backs of my thighs, and in one swift movement, I was being lifted and placed on the bathroom counter. I slid my hands down his neck and onto his shoulders, gently pushing the jacket of his suit off his shoulders. He released my hips long enough to shrug it off but he lips never left mine. I pushed my lips harder against his before pulling back and capturing his bottom lip with my teeth, giving it a slight tug.

"Someone's eager," I jested with a small smirk.

"Someone's been teasin' me for weeks now." He poked back, thumbs rubbing small circles on my hips. "We can go back to my place if you wanna do this. I ain't really imagine our first time being in the bathroom of some dude I don't know."

"Do you want to go back to yours?"

"Do you?" He tilted his head at me. I hesitated before shaking my head slightly in disapproval. I hadn't imagined our first time being in the bathroom at a Halloween party either, but I didn't really mind. All I cared about was having him close to me.

"Just touch me, Fez." I breathed, pulling him into me by the back of his neck.

We kissed for a few moments longer before he leaned back. His hands left my hips and my eyes fluttered shut at the feeling of his fingertips lightly brushing across the exposed area of my shoulders, leaving goosebumps in their wake. I let out a soft moan as his lips connected with my neck. He sucked harshly on a few different spots, no doubt marking me as his. My eyes stayed closed until I felt the weight of his hand falling on the zipper of my body suit. When our eyes met, he raised his eyebrows slowly as if he was asking for permission.

"You sure you wanna do this here?" I smiled at the sentiment and nodded slowly. He kissed my forehead swiftly before gently guiding the zipper downward. Once it reached my belly button, his hands came back to the top and he gently separated both sides, guiding the leather material off of my shoulders and down my arms, gentle kisses following his oath as he uncovered more skin before he eventually let it pool around my waist.

I held my hands out to stop him before reaching forward and beginning to unbutton his dress shirt. About halfway through, I lost my patience and yanked at it, buttons scattering across the floor. "You lucky we ain't got much time," His eyes met mine briefly before traveling downward, taking in the sight of my exposed breasts. I was in for a real treat.

0 notes

starbright18 · 3 years ago

Text

NINE - NEVER GROW UP

N I N E - N E V E R G R O W U P

"don't you ever grow up, it could stay this simple. and no one's ever burned you, nothing's ever left you scarred. and even though you want to, just try to never grow up."

---

"Ms. Harrison, it is to my knowledge that you were at the carnival this past Friday night, correct?" Principal Hayes questioned, staring at me from across his desk. Fez left after the lunch period ended, promising to come back and take me home at the end of the day due to what happened with Maddy. The school administrators were questioning everybody who had been at the carnival, trying to piece together what happened that led to Maddy Perez being assaulted.

"I was," I answered unsurely, nervously wringing my hands. "I, um, I went with Maddy. And then we met up with Cassie and spent some time together riding rides and playing games and then we split up. Maddy went to find Nate and I went to find my boyfriend so I could go home."

"Mhm," He nodded, writing down pieces of what I told him. "And do you know what happened when Maddy found Nate?"

"Um, only what I heard the next day. She pushed over a pot of chili and cussed out his mom and then Nate dragged her away."

"Right, and did she tell you what happened after that?" I met his question with a small headshake. "Has she ever spoken about Nate being abusive to her in the past? Have you ever noticed any unexplained bruising or signs of trauma?"

"She's never mentioned anything," I promised. "But we all know Nate is like...unhinged. I'm sorry, I—are you gonna tell anybody what I say in here?"

"Only the police if the information you provide warrants it."

"So, Nate won't know what I say?"

"No, Ms. Harrison, what you say in this room stays between me, you, and the police." I closed my eyes tightly, willing myself to spill all the information on just how crazy I had seen Nate Jacobs be. I knew it would be betraying Maddy, but all I wanted to do was protect her from Nate. And so, I spilled everything. Principal Hayes didn't flinch as I began to talk rapidly while throwing my hands around, but rather stared me down with his pen tapping against his desk.

"Okay, so basically I moved here at the beginning of the summer, and I met Maddy and Cassie in cheer camp, and then they introduced me to Lexi, Kat, Jules, and Nate. And all summer, Maddy and Nate were on-again-off-again, fighting a lot but never physical. And then the night of the back-to-school party, Nate and Maddy were fighting so Maddy got drunk and blacked out and had sex with Tyler in the pool. Which I personally think was ballsy because, you know, public sex, but—" A pointed glare stopped me in my tracks.

"The story, Ms. Harrison," Principal Hayes cleared his throat.

"Right, sorry," I glanced down at the floor. "Anyway, Nate saw them and then he came into the kitchen and threatened to beat the shit out of Jules and me—well mostly Jules. And then she cut herself and wiped the blood on him and we left. And then the next day Maddy told us about how she blacked out and slept with Tyler, but we knew that anyway because we were there. And then, later that week, Nate took Maddy home and on a date or something I guess, and they got back together. But after that, Maddy went through his phone—and I know what you may be thinking, 'why would she go through his phone?' I know, it's crazy, right? But you know it's a girl thing, and—"

"Sophia," another pointed glare.

"Okay, sorry. You're just making me really nervous, and I ramble when I'm nervous."

"Sophia, you're not in trouble. All we want to do is help Maddy."

"Right," I nodded. "So Maddy went through his phone, and she found gay porn. And I know it's wrong of me to out somebody and I'm sorry, but that's when his aggression started. She mentioned it to him a few times and he started to get more hostile. I think she planned to tell him what she found on his phone the night of the carnival so she could get answers from him. But he told her she was dressed like a whore, and they got in a fight instead."

"Did you see them after Nate pulled her away?"

"I didn't, I was h—" I cut myself off, realizing if I revealed that I did molly that night, he would call my mother. "—heading home to sleep. I was really tired. I didn't see Maddy again until Monday, but I thought she was upset because of her fight with Nate at the carnival." He was silent for a long beat.

"Alright, Sophia. You can return to class." He nodded toward the door.

"Is Maddy okay?" I whispered quietly, not daring to move. He stared at me for a moment but didn't reply. "Please, she's my best friend and I'm really worried about her."

"Her parents are here, talking to the police." He nodded slowly. "I'm about to go in there now and speak with them. She's holding up about as well as you could expect."

"Can I see her?"

"Ms. Harrison, I'm sorry, but not right now." Upon seeing my frown, he continued. "You're helping her a lot by telling me these things."

"Do you think I could call my mom and go home for the rest of the day?" He nodded slowly in response. I stood, collecting my bag before wandering to the cafeteria where I knew Jules and Rue were.

---

It wasn't more than 30 minutes later before my mom showed up. From the parking lot, we watched as Nate Jacobs was guided out of the school in handcuffs, being placed in the back of a police car with his dad following closely behind. She didn't say anything about it until we had gotten home and settled on to the couch. I laid with my head in her lap, allowing her to run her fingers through my hair as we caught up on all the things, I hadn't told her.

"Why were they arresting Cal Jacobs' son?" she asked softly, eyes trained on the TV in front of us.

"He choked Maddy at the carnival," I whispered. "It was bad, mom. Her neck was bruised so bad, and she—she was defending him. Even though he hurt her like that, it's like it didn't even matter. She didn't care."

"She loves him, Soph. And I'm not saying that justifies what he did because it doesn't. But once upon a time, we knew two girls who loved a man so much that they excused his abuse." She wasn't wrong. From birth to around age 11, I loved my father with my entire being.

He abused my mother for the entire eight years that they were together. At first, it was behind closed doors where I wouldn't see it. But as I got older, he stopped caring. I was a surprise baby; his grand plan of trapping my mother to make sure she would never leave him. And it worked because she was too scared to raise a baby alone, so she endured years of hell to make sure I had a semi-okay upbringing.

He made sure I had everything I could ever ask for and more, and in exchange, my mother took countless beatings. I was never abused, until one day on my 7th birthday he got so mad about the mess I made with my Lightning McQueen pinata that he grabbed my wrist and jerked me so hard he broke it. That was the night that my mother snapped. She pulled me away from him and took the pinata stick from my free hand and beat him until he couldn't stand. Covered in blood and bruises, she eventually pulled the gun from his waistband and told him he had 3 minutes to leave the house and never come back before she killed him. We haven't seen him since.

I missed him for a while and had forgiven him for what he did. But as I grew older, I realized just how badly he hurt my mom. She cried a lot and could barely look at me until one day when I was 11 years old, I gained enough confidence to barge into her room and ask her if it was my fault he left. That is the night I finally broke down and we cried together for hours. She explained in the most kid-friendly terms possible what she had gone through and promised to better herself and fix our relationship because she loved me, and she refused to let him take another thing from her. She went to therapy, sometimes she'd bring me but mostly she went alone. On top of that, she went to college to get her BSN and began working at the hospital. From that night forward, we've been inseparable, more like best friends than mother and daughter, but she was still my mother, nonetheless.

"I feel like it's my fault," I admitted. "I shouldn't have left her alone at the carnival. I should've checked in with her over the weekend. Maybe I would have known something was wrong sooner." I knew I was busted when she quirked an eyebrow and stared down at me with a knowing look on her face. "Shit."

"Mhm, shit is right. You told me you two were with Cassie all weekend." She raised both eyebrows. "So, where were you really at?"

"Fezco's," I mumbled, choosing to look away from her and toward the TV.

"Sophia Brooke, since when do we lie to each other? We're supposed to have open communication. Did you think I wouldn't let you go to his house?" Guilt washed over me at her question.

"No, I just—I can't tell you."

"And why is that?" She asked softly. I glanced up at her, noting the worry in her eyes and concern on her face. "Sophia, what have I always told you? I can't help you if you're not honest with me. You know I would never get upset with you if you're honest. So, what is keeping you from telling me the truth?"

"Promise you won't get mad?"

"If you had told me the truth originally, I would've been able to promise that. But you know how I feel about honesty." I sat up and tears filled my eyes as I turned to face her. There would be no light way to tell her what happened, and I knew no matter what she would be upset. Sure, I could lie to her or leave out the bad parts, but the hurt look on her face made my heart clench.

"At the carnival, I did molly. And Fez took me back to his house that night because I didn't want to come home high. I was going to come home Saturday, but I didn't know how bad the after-effects of the drugs would be, so I stayed in his room until he took me to school today." She stared at me in silence, her face void of any expression. I expected her to scream, or to ground me, or to tell me I could never see my friends again. But instead, she just looked at me, her eyes burning holes through my face. "Say something, please, mom."

"And you thought you couldn't tell me this, why?" Guilt panged in my chest. "Sophia, if you had been honest with me Friday night, or even Saturday when you called, you know I wouldn't have been upset with you. I trust you to be careful and safe and believe it or not, I trust that boy to take care of you. But to hide something like that from me and then lie to me on top of everything else? That isn't the daughter that I've grown to trust." I couldn't hold back as tears began to roll down my cheeks.

"I'm sorry, mom," My voice cracked. "I was scared that you'd be mad at me, and I didn't want to disappoint you. You have this idea of me being the perfect daughter, and I didn't want to ruin that."

"Sophia, sweetheart, you're not perfect, and I've never expected you to be. You're an amazing daughter, but you're still a teenager who is growing up and learning. I expect you to make mistakes and push boundaries and experiment as you explore the world. Now, that doesn't mean I'm okay with the drugs or the lying because I'm not. You made a few mistakes and I understand that. But I'm telling you right now, I do not want to hear that you've hidden something like this from me again. Do you understand?"

"Yes," I swallowed hard. Over the past 17 years, she was rarely ever stern with me, mostly because I had never given her a reason to be, which is how I knew I screwed up immensely by not telling her the truth.

"Is there anything else that you'd like to tell me about?" She tilted her head in my direction. "This is your one chance to come clean without me being upset, so I would suggest you tell me everything that I need to know." I closed my eyes tightly, deciding that it would be better to tell her everything rather than her to find out later and be more upset with me.

"I smoke weed with Fez sometimes," I admitted quietly. "It doesn't happen a lot, maybe three or four times." She nodded slowly, raising her eyebrows at me expectantly. "And I got a tattoo."

"Sophia!"

"You said you wouldn't be upset if I told you the truth!" She took a deep breath, closing her eyes before shaking her head.

"Show me," She ordered. I slowly lifted my hands, pulling down my lip to show her the tattoo I got the day before. She hummed, leaning in close to look at it before squinting at me. "Did you get it done at a shop at least? A clean, professional shop?" I slowly shook my head, releasing my lip. She took my hand from my lap and squeezed it tightly before throwing her head back in laughter. I scrunched my face up in confusion, watching her closely as her giggles spilled out.

"What's so funny?"

"You," she smiled, pulling me into her side. "You remind me so much of myself at your age." She admitted. "Your grandma always said that she hoped my daughter would act just like I did so I could see the things I did from a different angle. It looks like her wish came true."

"You're not mad?"

"No, sweetheart, I'm not," She gave me a tight side hug. "Believe it or not, I was you once," she moved away from me and lifted her shirt, showing me a faded tattoo on her ribs that read 'Lucas.' I covered my mouth to stifle my giggles as she continued. "I did molly once, and I smoked weed all through high school. So, I'm remarkably familiar with teenage experimenting."

"Does that mean I can—"

"No," she interrupted. "If I find out you're experimenting further with drugs outside of your casual smoking, I'll ground you until you go off to college. And no more tattoos without asking me first."

"So, I can still smoke with Fez?" I pursed my lips to hide a smile as she squinted down at me.

"Don't push it," she warned. "Is there anything else?"

"He asked me to be his girlfriend after the tattoos," I smiled brightly. "He, uh—he even got my name tattooed inside his lip." She smiled, kissing my temple before allowing me to lay my head back on her lap.

"Do you love him?"

"I—yeah," I admitted. "He told me he loves me too."

"Good, he'd be a damn fool not to," I could hear the smile in her voice. "No more secrets, Sophia. You may not think so now, but I promise you it will always be better to ask for permission rather than forgiveness. I've told you the same thing for years; just be honest with me, and I won't be mad." I nodded in understanding, allowing silence to fill the air for a few moments.

"I'm scared that she's gonna end up like we did," I whispered, referring to Maddy.

"Maddy is strong, stronger than I was at her age. Eventually, the smoke is going to clear and she's going to realize just how bad he is." She stroked my hair gently.

"I don't know how to help her,"

"All you can really do is be there for her, Soph. Trust me, it means more than you think."

0 notes

starbright18 · 3 years ago

Text

EIGHT - HOPE UR OK

E I G H T - H O P E U R O K

"her parents hated who she loved. she couldn't wait to go to college; she was tired 'cause she was brought into a world where family was merely blood. does she know how proud i am she was created, with the courage to unlearn all of their hatred?"

---

I spent the entirety of the weekend at Fezco's house, suffering from an extreme drop in serotonin from my adventure with MDMA at the carnival. Once we got home Friday night and well into Saturday, he made it his mission to fuel me with as many Gatorades as he possibly could to make sure I stayed hydrated, as well as made me a couple of small meals to eat. I didn't leave his bed except when I had to use the bathroom, electing to stay beneath the covers and watch TikTok for hours on end.

He texted my mom Friday night, and I called her Saturday to tell her that Cassie and McKay had broken up, so I was staying with her for the weekend to provide support. It wasn't a total lie, Cassie and McKay did split up. But instead of providing comfort to my friend, I found myself hiding from the world in my bundle of depression, wearing Fezco's clothes and eating all his food. I hadn't wanted to leave until Sunday when Rue and Jules physically dragged me out from under the covers to join them at the convenience store with the boys so they could get matching tattoos. I bundled up well, hiding in a pair of Fez's sweatpants and a large hoodie coupled with sunglasses, because quite frankly all light hurt my eyes.

"Are you sure you're okay, Sophia? You look...dead." Jules laughed loudly. My left hand was intertwined with Rue's right hand, and my right hand intertwined with Jules' left as we walked toward the store.

"I am dead," I groaned. "I am never doing molly again."

"Fez told us you've been in his bed for two days straight. I think he was getting worried about you." I saw Rue smile at me through the corner of my sunglasses. "But uh, I didn't peg you as the type to do MDMA, so uh, congrats."

"I'm not," I shook my head. "I don't know what I was thinking. It felt good Friday night but now I feel like all the happiness in my life has been sucked out by one of those fancy, high-powered vacuums at the car wash."

"You know, that doesn't sound very 'Sunshine' of you." Jules teased lightly, her free hand gently pushing my shoulder.

"Sunshine is dead. I am sunless. You can call me...sundown." My laughter was followed closely by the laughter of the two girls walking beside me.

"Alright, then," Jules released my hand and threw her arm around my shoulder. "No more doom and gloom today." She scolded lightly, guiding me up the parking lot and into the store where Fez and Ashtray stood talking together in the cooler.

"Look who decided to join the land of the living," Ashtray spoke loudly, a taunting smirk on his face. "You look like that crackhead I see over on 3rd street."

"I will cut you." I threatened.

"With what knife?" He raised an eyebrow at me.

"Touché."

"Relax, we ain't stabbin' nobody today." Fez threw an arm around my shoulder once Jules stepped away, pulling me into him. "Rue, Jewel, y'all ready to get y'all's tattoos?" Rue excitedly nodded in agreement, sitting down in the chair where Ashtray had the tattoo gun and ink laid out on a table. She watched closely as Ashtray grabbed a pair of large black goggles, snapping them on his face.

"You look like Dr. Finklestein," I snorted. He slowly turned his head toward me and scrunched his face up. I could almost see him rolling his eyes through the lenses of the goggles, and I stuck my tongue out at him in response.

"I'm thinking about getting the word 'Rules'." Rue smiled widely, ignoring our interaction. "For Rue and Jules. What do you think?"

"I think it's cute." I shrugged, shooting her a smile. Fez sat in a chair closer to the drinks and pulled me down to sit on his lap, his arm winding tightly around my waist as he buried his head in my neck, pressing gentle kisses against my exposed skin.

"I'm happy to see you up," He let out a breathy chuckle that caused my skin to light up in goosebumps. I shivered slightly at the sensation of his warm breath brushing over me before turning my head slightly to look at him. "What you shaking for?" He quirked an eyebrow playfully. "Do I get you excited?"

"Do you want me to answer that now?" I whispered softly pressing my lips against his nose.

"If you guys could not dry hump each other in the corner, that'd be great," Ashtray called out. Blood rushed to my cheeks as he continued. "You're interrupting my work." I rolled my eyes and motioned for him to continue, watching closely as he added in the final letters. Rue groaned, still holding her lip with both hands as Ashtray held out a mirror for her to look at the finished product.

"Yo, looks good." He nodded in approval at his work. "You ready?" He turned toward Jules who was staring at Rue with wide eyes.

"Um," she opened her mouth before closing it a couple of times. "How bad does it hurt?"

"It didn't hurt like at all," Rue assured, still holding her lip in her hands. Her words came out jumbled together, but it seemed like Jules understood her anyway.

"It's all good, I've been doing this for years," Ashtray promised, shaking his head.

"You haven't even been alive for that many years, you're still a baby." I pointed out, receiving a middle finger from him in response. Jules looked between us for a moment before deciding.

"I love you, Rue, but there's no fucking way I'm doing that." She shook her head with a small smile.

"Oh, come on. I'll do it if you do it." I suggested, watching as the blonde girl looked me up and down for a moment.

"You'll get a tattoo?" She questioned with an eyebrow raise.

"Why not?" I shrugged. "If it'll make you want to get one, then I'll do it."

"Wouldn't your mom, like, kill you?" Rue asked, letting go of her lip.

"She can't kill me for something that she wouldn't be able to see." I rolled my eyes, lifting myself off Fez's lap and ushering Rue out of her seat. She stood, allowing me to take her place.

"What you gon' get?" Fez questioned from across the room. I thought for a moment before smiling widely, leaning forward to meet his eyes.

"You wanna get matching tattoos?"

"Shit," he hesitated for a moment. "Why the fuck not?"

And so, he came over to hold my hand while Ashtray tattooed 'Fezco' on the inside of my lip, showing me the finished product just like he did for Rue. I nodded in approval, turning toward Fezco to show him. We swapped seats quickly and I leaned over to watch Ashtray as he inked my name in all caps in the same place he put Fez's. Once he finished, Fez stood to allow Jules to sit. Rue gripped her shoulders from behind her and I held her hand, leaning into Fez as Ash worked on his final tattoo for the day.

"So, I guess this means you're my girl, huh?" Fez looked down at me with a small smirk.

"Is that your way of asking me out?" I quirked an eyebrow in his direction.

"My way of asking you out was actually agreein' to get your name tattooed on my lip," he tilted his head toward mine. "But if you want me to ask officially, then shit, I can do that too." I shook my head with a small smile and leaned up to press a quick kiss on his lips.

"I was your girl long before the tattoo."

---

Come Monday, I reluctantly left Fezco's house to go to school. He drove me, stopping by my house so I could get changed into real clothes and grab my bag. My mom wasn't home, but I wasn't surprised. I told her I'd be home that night, and we planned to sit down and have some family bonding while I caught her up on most of what happened this weekend. Except for the molly, and the tattoo, and staying at Fezco's. But hey, close enough.

"Am I takin' you home tonight?" Fez asked as he pulled into a spot in the empty back area of the parking lot at the school.

"No, it's okay," I smiled, leaning over the console to press a long kiss against his lips. "I think Maddy is going to take me. Plus, I promised my mom I'd go home tonight, and I know if you pick me up the last thing I'll want to do is go home." I teased.

"Oh yeah? And why's that?" He leaned over the console to meet me in the middle. I slipped one hand under his shirt and up his bare chest, using the other to grab the back of his neck and pull him closer to me. My lips brushed against him slightly and I didn't bother to pull back as I spoke.

"Do you want to find out?" My lips ghosted against his with every word, and a groan came from the back of his throat as he caught my hand that was resting on his chest.

"Don't do me like that," he warned, eyes fluttering closed.

"Or what?"

"Or you won't be goin' to school today." His eyes opened, and my breath caught in my throat as I processed how dark his eyes had gotten. "I'll be teaching you how to do other things."

"What makes you think I don't know how to do other things?" I poked his bare chest tauntingly before letting my hand fall to his crotch, lightly feeling him through the sweatpants he was wearing, noting that his dick was definitely hard. "You seem excited."

"Get goin' before I fuck you in this backseat." My eyes widened and my face grew red as he licked his lips and looked me up and down. Still, I wasn't going to let him win this. I leaned in and kissed him longingly before pulling back and scooping up my bag from the floorboard.

"Yes, daddy." I threw my door open, rushing out before he could grab me. "I'll call you when I get home, yeah?"

"Oh, fuck no." He growled softly. "This ain't over, Sunshine."

"I'm counting on it." I winked at him. "I love you."

"Mhm," he hummed softly. "I love you, too. Now get your teasin' ass into calculus before you're late. I'll see you tomorrow." he promised. I blew him a kiss before closing the door and turning on my heel, jogging toward the door to find Maddy to hear about how her weekend had gone. I heard all about her spat with the Jacobs' family at the carnival, and I was eager to hear the details from her.

I didn't notice Maddy at first as she was covered by a hooded pullover and sunglasses, quite unlike how she normally dressed. I realized she was probably suffering through the same drop in serotonin I was experiencing as I jogged to catch up to her.

"Maddy!" I called out, grabbing her arm just as we approached the door.

"Hey, Soph," She gave me a weak smile. I opened the doors and allowed her to enter in front of me as I snatched her hand to hold as we walked.

"Are you okay?" Her head turned slightly to face me at my question.

"I guess, I'm just—I'm on my period." She shook her head.

"What are you, the Unabomber?" Kat laughed, approaching us from a different hallway.

"What are you, a dominatrix?" Maddy shot back. I pursed my lips to hold back a laugh as Kat's eyes grew wide and her cheeks got red.

"No," she hesitated.

"She wasn't being serious, bitch." I laughed.

"Obviously," Kat mumbled. "But seriously, are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm just on my period," Maddy informed Kat, who shrugged and split off to walk into her class.

"Okay, bye."

"See you later, Kat." I smiled, following behind Maddy as she held the door open for me to enter room 202. After the bell rang, Mrs. Donovan began passing out our graded exams from the previous week. I smiled widely when I saw the bright red 'A' smacked on top of my paper and turned to look at Maddy's score as well.

"Is the air conditioner like, not working?" She directed her question toward Mrs. Donovan. I frowned when I noticed she was still wearing her hoodie and sunglasses. The after affects of the molly must have hit her hard.

"It's broken. You could always take off your hoodie." Mrs. Donovan replied, placing Maddy's graded test on her desk. As she continued passing out papers, I found myself leaning over to look at Maddy's grade. I smiled at her 'A' as well. I helped her study for this exam for hours, and I was glad to see it paid off. She was quiet for the rest of class, placing her head on her arms and seemingly falling asleep. It wasn't until the bell rang and she hadn't moved that I began to get worried.

"Maddy," I gently shook her shoulder. "Come on, we're going to be late for biology." She still hasn't responded after I shook her shoulder once more.

"Miss?" Mrs. Donovan called out as she joined us in the back of the room. My heart dropped at the realization that Maddy had seemingly passed out and was apparently much worse than I thought.

"Mrs. Donovan," I started, tears beginning to fill my eyes. "You—you should call an ambulance."

---

Nearly 20 minutes later, paramedics appeared in the classroom. I refused to leave Maddy's side, opting to sit on the floor next to her and hold her hand in mind. As they were examining her, they noticed what I originally believed to be hickeys on her neck, covered in makeup. Upon wiping it off, however, I quickly realized that the marks were not love bites, but rather fingerprints. Somebody had choked Maddy, and I was more than positive I knew who it was.

I admittedly felt guilty, finding myself wondering if I would have noticed how bad she was doing if I hadn't been hiding all weekend, or if I stuck around at the carnival. I knew Maddy and Nate had a rough relationship, but to choke her? That made me think of their relationship in an entirely new light. I made it my personal mission to make sure that Nate Jacobs would pay for what he did to Maddy.

It was my free period before lunch when I finally left Maddy's side, only because Fezco had taken it upon himself to bring me lunch and sit with me after I explained what happened with Maddy. Almost immediately he offered to bring me food and ice cream, opting to sit in the grass near the parking lot as we ate together. He didn't mention Maddy, and I assumed it was because he was waiting for me to speak. Much like how he felt with Rue's addiction, I felt as though Maddy's assault was my fault.

"I shouldn't have left her," I mumbled, stirring my bowl of ice cream with a spoon. "I know Nate was mad about the chili cook off, but to choke her? That's fucking low, even for Nate."

"It ain't your fault, you know." He reached out, placing a hand over mine to stop the continuous stirring of my now melted ice cream. "You ain't the one that put your hands on her."

"I know, but I also wasn't there to stop it." I sniffled. "I thought she was so drained because of the molly. Come to find out, her fucking boyfriend choked her so hard he left purple fucking bruises."

"I think playboy's got it comin', to be honest with you." Fez shook his head, his eyes igniting with fury. "He been fuckin' with Jewel and Rue too. And I still ain't forgot he threatened y'all at that back to school party. I'm thinkin' it's about time for someone to put him in his place. Plus, I ain't fuck with woman beaters."

"The whole school knows what he did, he's going to jail. They called the police and everything."

"Nah, a dude like him ain't gonna be behind bars for very long. But it's cool, we gonna be having' a talk real soon." I cracked a small smile at Fez's threat, leaning forward to kiss him quickly.

"You're hot when you're threatening people's lives." I winked.

"Yeah? Then what I'ma do to playboy over there gon' make me real fuckin' sexy."

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starbright18 · 3 years ago

Text

SEVEN - ALL NIGHT

S E V E N - A L L N I G H T

"ever since you came around, can't nobody hold me down. you showed me how to find myself when i needed it the most."

---

It had taken me almost three hours to pick the perfect outfit for the carnival. I was determined to find an outfit that screamed "I'm cute, you should date me", but that also said, "I want you to rail me." So, I settled on a plain black romper with a plunging neckline paired with a pair of converse – simple, but still booby enough that Fez would hopefully get the hint. I jogged down the stairs quickly once I got dressed, meeting my mom at the bottom. When I noticed she was in scrubs instead of in casual carnival clothes, however, a frown fell upon my face.

"No, mom," I whined loudly. "You were supposed to come out tonight and meet Fezco."

"I know, sweetie, but they really need me at the hospital." She reached out and grabbed my hand.

"They always do," I mumbled with an eye roll. I quickly pulled out my phone to send a text to Maddy, praying she'd be able to pick me up.

I was used to this; work always needed her and she always went. But I had never been in a situation where I desperately wanted her to meet the guy that I wanted to make my boyfriend. Sure, she met Fez the night of the party when she interrupted our car talk, but I wanted her to really meet him. Being blown off this time undoubtedly hurt more than the others.

"Hey, watch it." She warned with a soft smile. "Why don't you invite him over this week? We can sit down and have dinner and I can get to know him. I'll make sure I'm here." She promised.

"Okay," I agreed. "But can we go out somewhere? No offense, mom, but your cooking has gotten a little rusty." She gasped loudly, placing her free hand over her chest.

"Sophia Brooke Harrison, that wounds me." She feigned hurt. "Are you sure you wanted me to come tonight? You're not dressed like someone who intends to have their mother around." She eyed me closely. "Don't you think you should change? One fast turn on the Gravitron and your beanbags are gonna pop out."

"Mom!" I swatted her hands away. "Who calls them beanbags?" Her laughter cut through the air, and I found myself joining shortly after. "Do you think it's too much?"

"As your mother, yes." She stated firmly, pulling me into a tight hug. "But as someone who was a teenage girl once, I think you look hot." I hugged her tightly, relishing in the feel of having her support. A horn honked from the driveway breaking us apart. "Text me when you get there, and if you're not coming home tonight, which I'm sure you won't, let me know. I'll be back home early tomorrow morning, but I expect updates."

"Yes, ma'am," I promised, kissing her cheek quickly before running to the door. "I love you!" I gave her no time to respond before I was out the door and running to Maddy's car.

"Look at you, bitch!" She called as I flopped into the passenger seat. I gave her a once over, noting her purple two-piece set that left very little to the imagination.

"Me? Look at you. If I wasn't with Fezco and you weren't with Nate, you might just drag me to the dark side." I winked. She pulled out of the driveway and shot me a big smile.

"So, you're official now?"

"No!" I rushed out. "But I want to be. I was hoping he'd ask me tonight."

"Mhm," she hummed. "Have you guys done it yet?"

"Maddy!" Heat rushed to my cheeks.

"What? It was a genuine question." She defended.

"No, we haven't. Almost, I think, the other day at his house. But then Rue—" I hesitated. "She came over and we ended up putting a pause on it. He did tell me he loves me though." My seatbelt forced me back into my seat as Maddy slammed on the brakes in surprise. "Focus on the road, Maddy!"

"And you didn't think to tell me?"

"I was going to," I promised. "But I wasn't sure how to say it."

"Well did you say it back?"

"Yeah, I did." The car abruptly stopped again.

"Maddy!"

"I'm sorry!"

"Focus on the road before you kill us!"

---

It didn't take long before we arrived at the carnival. Almost immediately, Maddy ran off to look for Nate, leaving me to wander around in search of any familiar faces. My texts to Fezco went largely unanswered, but I knew he would be working tonight so I didn't give myself too much room to be upset about it. We discussed our plans for tonight, intending to meet up toward the end of the carnival so we could ride a few rides together. Granted I had absolutely no idea where his stand was. But I was sure I'd be able to track him down eventually. My attention was pulled from my search at the sight of a food truck with a large picture of fried pickles on the side.

"Oh, hello there," I mumbled to myself, pushing my way over to stand in the line. Not even 10 minutes later, I began my search once more, accompanied by the delicious smell of my snack. I ate as I walked, enjoying the tangy taste of the pickles dipped in ranch. As I walked past game booths taking mental notes of which ones I'd want to come back to with Fez, I noticed a blonde girl sitting between 2 games. I froze, backtracking once I realized that I knew exactly who that blonde girl was.

"Cassie?" Her head snapped up to me in surprise. "Holy shit, you're crying. Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I guess." She whispered softly. I rolled my eyes and sat beside her, placing my food on the other side of my leg. "Are those—are those pickles?"

"Maybe," I mumbled sheepishly. "Do you want one?" She looked at me with her face scrunched up for a moment before she shrugged and snatched one from the container. I stared at her as she ate, noting her adorable outfit and lack of McKay, who I knew she was coming with. The cause of the tears became more apparent, and I threw my arm around her pulling her into my chest. "What did he do?"

"He told Nate we were just chilling. He just told me he loved me, but he's still embarrassed about that stupid fucking video." I knew what video she was talking about immediately. I hadn't watched it out of respect for my friend, but word travels fast in East Highland and everyone knew about the infamous Cassie Howard sex tape. Still, what she did before she met McKay was her business, and I didn't think he had any reason to shame her for it. Especially considering the fact that the tape was released without her consent.

"Hey," Maddy stood in front of us before I could reply.

"Hey," Cassie smiled weakly, pulling her head away from my chest.

"Are you guys not having fun?"

"No, not really." Cassie shrugged. I shrugged as well. I wasn't having a bad time by any means; my pickles were amazing but seeing my friend visibly upset dragged my excitement down immensely.

"Yeah, me neither." I didn't miss the mischievous look in Maddy's eyes as she spoke. "You wanna do molly?"

"Sure," Cassie shrugged, standing up and holding her hand out to me expectantly. I never took MDMA before, but as both girls stared down at me with excited looks on their faces, I couldn't help but think why not?

"Shit, if you're doing it then I'm doing it." I accepted Cassie's hand and allowed her to pull me over to PretzelMania where I immediately spotted Ashtray behind the counter.

"Welcome to PretzelMania, can I take your order?" His voice was fully monotonous, which made me giggle. Ashtray looked like he'd rather be anywhere else, but here he stood dressed in a red and white striped apron and a flat bill with the name of the booth. Maddy wordlessly handed him the yellow ticket she pulled from the strap of her pants. "How many pretzels do you want?"

"Uh, we don't eat carbs." Maddy scoffed. I stifled another laugh as Cassie shot her a weird look.

"Three, please." She smiled.

"That'll be sixty." Each of us pulled a $20 bill from our bras, handing them over to the boy in front of us. "Fez know you're here?" Ashtray's question was directed at me.

"Probably," I shrugged. "Why?" He narrowed his eyes at me but said nothing, turning on his heel to grab our pretzels.

"So, you think Nate's cheating on you?" Cassie asked.

"I don't know. He's just been acting super weird lately." The conversation I had with Maddy about what she found on Nate's phone came to mind, but I decided not to mention it. If she wanted Cassie to know, she would tell her.

"Have you looked through his phone?" I questioned, shooting her a side glance. She gave me a weird look, and Cassie tilted her head in response.

"Yeah, I've never not gone through someone's phone." She admitted.

"Bitches, you're my soul mates." Maddy smiled at us. Ashtray came back, passing Cassie and Maddy their pretzels before giving me another narrow-eyed look.

"You sure he knows you're here?"

"Yes, Ash." I rolled my eyes, reaching up to snatch my pretzel out of his hand. "Thank you, dad." I rolled my eyes, spinning around to join Maddy and Cassie as they walked away. I removed the small baggie full of white granules and shoved it in my bra, following Maddy and Cassie's movements.

"Yo, what's going on with you and McKay?" Maddy questioned as we walked. "I thought you two were in love."

"Nate asked McKay if we were in a relationship and McKay said that we were just chillin'." Cassie scoffed.

"What?" Maddy sounded incredulous.

"Yeah, and then she cried about it. As if she isn't too hot for him anyway." I rolled my eyes, grabbing both of their hands as we walked.

"Honestly, fuck them both." Maddy spat, tossing her pretzel in the clown-shaped trash can. I followed suit, after taking a small bite of the baked treat.

"If I tell you something, you swear on your fucking life you won't say a word?" Maddy directed her question to Cassie.

"Yeah, what?" Maddy grabbed Cassie's arm, causing all of us to stop walking.

"I went through Nate's phone, and it was fucking weird."

---

After snorting some of the molly in our bags and hopping on the Ferris Wheel to let the drugs set in, we found ourselves standing in a funhouse, checking ourselves out in the mirror. The lights and sounds of the carnival hit me harder, overwhelming me in a good way.

In a word, I felt euphoric. I found myself feeling extremely touch-deprived however, my mind begged my body to find somebody to touch me to increase my high. Of course, I had someone in mind for that. I already texted Fezco and let him know I would be looking for him once we decided to leave the funhouse. He didn't reply, but that didn't bother me. I knew I'd find him anyway. In the meantime, I favored looking over my body with the girls.

"Honestly, fuck that whole family," Maddy spoke up, pulling my attention toward her.

"For real." Cassie agreed.

"Right now, I'm looking at a thousand versions of myself, and not only do I look good, I fucking feel good." Maddy continued. "So, if they've got something to say, then they should just say it to my face, right?"

"Or you could just say it to their fucking face." I chimed in, turning to face the girls behind me.

"Right?" Maddy agreed, turning to face us as well.

"That's what I would do." Cassie agreed. "I feel like this is a turning point."

"Totally."

"We should just pick the hottest, most confident, bad bitch version of ourselves, and be that for the rest of the school year." Cassie spun in a small circle as she spoke. Laughter erupted from the three of us and I gently cupped Cassie's face in my hand.

"Cassie, I love you, but I'm only staring at your titties right now." Our laughter increased in volume as we all tripped over each other in excitement, laying on the floor in a fit of giggles. I wasn't lying, her boobs were right there. A ding from my phone broke us apart, and I immediately sat up upon seeing Fez's name on the screen.

fezco <3: where u at? ash said u dropped by but I ain't seen you

I smiled widely, standing up and holding a handout to each of the girls. Maddy joined me, throwing out a small "loverboy calls" comment that I ignored. We found our way out of the funhouse together, each going in our separate directions. Maddy was going out in search of Nate, and Cassie was going to look for Daniel to get her mind off McKay while I found myself wandering toward PretzelMania in hopes of finding Fez. Luck seemed to be on my side as the familiar ginger-head boy was leaning up against the front of the booth talking to Ashtray. Once he spotted me, he nodded his head in my direction causing Fez to turn to look at me.

"Look who it is," Fez called loudly, grabbing my hand when I got close enough. "I been lookin' for you everywhere." I wrapped my arms around him, allowing myself to sink into his hold as I let out a moan of appreciation at the contact.

"You found me," I giggled, face buried in his chest. "And—and molly. Just me and molly, hanging out." Fez gripped my shoulders and pulled me back to stand at arm's length as his eyes scanned over my face.

"Why you ain't tell me?" His question was directed toward Ashtray.

"She told me you knew she was here." He threw his arms up in defense. "And I did text you, you just didn't respond." He walked toward the back of the booth, leaving Fezco and I alone.

"I want you to hold me," I whined wrapping my arms around his neck.

"Yeah, yeah," He mumbled, wrapping his arms around my waist, and burying his head in my neck. "How much you do?"

"I uh—I don't know." He hummed in response, pressing light kisses to the exposed area of skin where my shoulder meets my neck. Butterflies erupted in my stomach and my mind went fuzzy, relishing in the feeling of his touch. "That feels really good."

"I know it does," He pulled back slightly. "Come on, Imma get you home." He released my waist but captured my hand instead, pulling me behind him into the booth to help Ashtray get it closed for the night. I sat on a chair in the corner quietly watching as they got to work getting the product they were selling put in a backpack, counting the money they made, and getting everything broken down for them to come out and properly disassemble tomorrow. They made small talk as they worked, but I sat silently taking in the overwhelming effects of the crowd still roaring outside. My touch deprivation hadn't gone away, it seemed like it was just intensifying the longer I sat there eyeing Fez.

Roughly 45 minutes later we were out of the booth, and he was guiding me back to his car. I laid across the backseat and allowed Ashtray to take the front, both boys continuing to talk about the money they made tonight. I closed my eyes, enjoying the feeling coming from my head.

It was like when you spent the whole day in the pool and then went inside to lay down, but your body still felt like it was floating, and I loved it. I let out a loud gasp when I caught the lyrics from the song playing quietly from the radio and shot up from my position to reach in between the seats and aggressively twist the volume knob until the song was playing so loud I couldn't think. Ashtray shot me a dirty look, but I ignored it, propping myself up between them.

"I heard you got a new man, I see you takin' a pic. Then you post it up thinking that it's making me sick. Brr, brr. I see you callin', I be makin' it quick—" I sang at the top of my lungs, aggressively ruffling my hand across both boys' heads before pointing at Fez. Ashtray brushed me off, shooting me a scowl whereas Fez looked at me for a moment before shaking his head and continuing.

"—bitch, I got no feelings to go. I swear I've had it up to hear, I've got no ceilings to blow. I mean for real, fuck how you feel. Fuck your two cents if it ain't going toward the bill—"

"—and every day I wake up celebrating shit, why?" I pushed the back of Ashtray's head, shooting him an innocent smile while I waited for him to join in. He gave me another hard look, narrowing his eyes at me before rolling them backward and sighing, reluctantly joining in.

"—cause I just dodged a bullet from a crazy bitch, I stuck to my guns, that's what made me rich—"

"—that's what put me on, that's what got me here, that's what made me this—" I filled in for him.

"—and everything that I do is my first name. These hoes chase bread, ah damn, she got a bird brain. Ain't nothin' but trill in me, aw man, silly me—" Fez shot me another side glance as he joined in once more.

"—I just bought a crib, three stories that bitch a trilogy!" The three of us screamed in sync. Laughter erupted throughout the car, and I rolled my window down, leaning back against the door and allowing my head to hang out the window, staring up at the stars. The feel of the wind was refreshing as I felt another wave of euphoria wash over me.

"—I got a bitch that text me she ain't got no clothes on—" Fez continued rapping.

"—and then another one text, then your ass next—" Ashtray followed up.

"—and I'ma text your ass back like—" I was cut off by the yells of both boys chorusing together.

"—I don't fuck with you!" I laughed loudly as they continued, taking one last fleeting glance at the stars before closing my eyes and taking in the feeling of the wind brushing against my face coupled with the spinning my head was doing. Between the stars, the music, the laughter, and the pure happiness I was feeling, I could honestly say that the high this moment created for me was more than molly could ever give me – and I loved it.

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