starfacenix

[starfacenix]

I want to talk about the sensations I feel when I touch the gods so badly. This tingly, vibrational, sometimes shocking energy is so exciting to experience no matter how many times I feel it. So one way I take advantage of feeling energy is by asking yes or no questions with a thumbs up and down. I then feel where their energy is to get my answer. It’s beyond helpful and I prefer it to a pendulum or sometimes even tarot cards.

Another bizarre aspect of feeling and sensing them is how my eyes will sometimes close involuntarily or go dry if I look in their direction. I asked about this, asking if it was an energy thing or something else and archangel Michael said it was more of an energy thing. I guess I can’t handle how truly powerful their energy is. I literally can’t help but look away from them.

Anyone else experience anything similar? Like at all?! lol. I feel so alone in this!

[starfacenix]

I love love love love looooove lord Eros so so so much.

That’s it. That’s the post. I love him.

[starfacenix]

Nothing I love more than sitting down with Zeus after a long day and sharing a dessert with him <3 he’s absolutely lovely.

This is not me policing someone else’s practices or anything BUT how can you be in this religion and not LIKE and honour ZEUS? OUR FATHER? THE KING OF THE GODS?

He is so loving and comforting, how can you not appreciate his essence?

[starfacenix]

"insert something wasn't a thing in ancient hellenic polytheism which means you shouldn't do it!"

[starfacenix]

Godspousal and my practice

Godspousal is a topic I covered very frequently on my old blog, Light of Delphi. This was back when I was fully devoted to Lord Apollon, before I was taken under King Zeus’s wing and served Him. However, just because my path has shifted does not mean I am no longer spoused to Him - in fact, the whole reason I didn’t talk about it on this blog was due to fear of backlash or being told that I was making things up in my head. However, to combat the stigma surrounding godspousal, it’s important to talk about it. So here I am, talking about it. 

Any hate will not be tolerated and will result in a block.

Godspousal is going to be a different experience for everyone. I could talk for hours about the different aspects of Godspousal, but for now, I will focus on my own experiences with it. In my experience, it’s something beautiful. 

Two years ago, I solidified my godspousal with Lord Apollon. You could equate this to getting married. There wasn’t much of a ceremony because I was in a home where my practice was closeted, but I plan on having a little ceremony this year because I have the means to do so! What I plan on doing is having a little ritual to celebrate our two years together, involving music, meditation, baking, and spending time out in the sun.

I consider myself mostly connected to His arts, music, and oracular aspects, though I cherish the darker parts of Him as well. But because of my connection to His warmer parts, He feels a lot more distant during the colder months. During this time, I do find myself mourning His presence. It is during this time that I will rely on devotional jewelry and the arts to keep Him with me. 

Once it gets warmer out, however, I am at the top of my game! My Spring Semester grades are always better than the Fall, my motivation increases ten fold, and I generally just feel more alive. This didn’t happen as intensely before my Godspousal. Lord Apollon feels much closer during the warmer months, especially during the summer. I associate Him with Cancer and Leo because of this. 

But before I continue, what exactly is Godspousal?

What is Godspousal?

The concept of Godspousal does exist in other religions. I have seen people compare being a Nun to Godspousal, which, in my opinion, is a bit of a stretch, but does make sense. There are no explicit ties to Hellenic Polytheism, though. Because of this, a lot of recon HelPols may stray away from it or shun it as a whole (though, its mostly elitists who do the latter). Godspousal is essentially when one takes a vow or makes an oath to dedicate oneself to a God for however long. Typically, it’s the rest of their life, or for this life and the next. It varies from practitioner to practitioner. 

I find Hellenic ties to Godspousal in myths. When Lord Apollon finds a mortal lover like Hyacinthus or Cyprus, I see godspousal. When Lord Dionysos fell in love with Ariadne, I see godspousal. When King Zeus fell in love with Ganymede, I see Godspousal. Especially in the way that Ganymede then served King Zeus as a cupbearer. These aren’t explicitly Godspousal relationships, but I choose to interpret them as such. My interpretation does not make it fact, it just means that I feel more comfortable in my own relationship with Lord Apollon because of it. 

One can be a godspouse in a variety of ways. It can be familial, it can be queerplatonic, or just platonic, or it can be romantic. I like to call it a lifetime devotion that isn’t Priesthood. Not everyone wants to be a Priest, so they may choose Godspousal in its stead. 

I only have experience with romantic godspousal, though. And I’ve found it to be a very rewarding experience. While no, I will not claim that Lord Apollon comes and sits beside me and we watch movies together, I will say that we spend time together. I feel His presence often, especially when I am engaging in mundane activities. That's how I know He's there and wants to spend time with me. I spend time with Him, physically in meditations and dreams. Recently, it's mostly been meditations, as I haven't been remembering my dreams.

In meditations, we have our space. It's personal to me, so I won't share it. But that is where the majority of our time together is spent. That is where the physicality of our relationship comes in. Sometimes, I will say “just cuddled with my Godspouse,” but I really mean I laid in the sun and felt His loving warmth. That is different from my meditations. If people are interested, and if Lord Apollon consents, I can always make a little series about some of our moments together. But that's off topic.

Godspousal and my Practice

Lord Apollon has been a major help in my practice. He has always been in my life. From the very start. I took up music, acting, dance, I did archery, and it only made sense that Lord Apollon showed up in my life. I was 10 when He made Himself known to me. From there, our bond has only gotten stronger. 

He taught me everything I know about divination and encouraged me to branch out. Try new things. I moved from tarot to pendulums, pendulums to oracle cards, and developed my clairaudience under His guidance. He taught me that offerings don't always have to be things, they can be actions. Through other people, He gifted me tarot cards and oracle decks that I still use to this day. He helped me learn how to trust my intuition and gut. Lord Apollon has been my teacher since the start of my practice.

Three years ago, though, Lord Apollon used to drop hints towards Godspousal. I was finding a lot more information about it on my feed, people would talk to me about it, and I’d meet a lot more people who were godspoused to different deities. It was becoming far more prominent in my life, and my readings continued to allude toward a romantic relationship in coming, which was… odd. I was already in a committed relationship, I didn’t quite know what it meant. That was, until I saw a video from another creator explaining Godspousal in its entirety. 

I asked Lord Apollon right after if He had been asking me to be His Godspouse. To court Him. He said yes. This led to a roughly year-long process of us getting closer, finding the boundaries in our relationship, and settling into what we have now. Two years ago, we made it “official” sometime in June. I forgot to write the date down, so we ended up attributing the Summer Solstice to our anniversary. 

Lord Apollon plays a major role in my practice, even more so now, with some things I will be announcing soon. He has led my hand in divination since I started. He has patiently guided me along my path and has kept me from falling too badly. And now, He comforts me when I’m alone. He praises me when I’m happy. When I bathe in the sun, I feel enveloped in warmth and love. He is always there, now.  This means that, in my practice, He has a very heavy influence in my actions. Even before I became a Priest for King Zeus, I asked Lord Apollon for His approval. I double checked everything with Him, I asked Him countless times if the path I was walking was right. It feels almost like I’m learning how to ride a bike, and He’s let go of the handlebars and is letting me find my balance, but He’s still there. He’s always there, in case I fall. He is a lover to me, more than anything.

Questions

“Probably a simple ask but what does it feel like? How do you know? Is it very meditation and intuition based or sign based or otherwise?”

It feels like joy. It feels like care, appreciation, warmth. Though every bond is bound to be different. My bond with Lord Apollon may be different from someone else’s bond with Lord Apollon. I am more attached to His art, light, and divinatory aspects. Someone else may be spoused to His darker aspects, it truly depends on the bond. He gave me signs that I was quite blind to, but the signs will typically do the trick. If you’re paying attention, you’ll see them. And if not, well, they’ll get significantly more blunt.

“I'm interested in knowing how you balance godspousal with everything else in your life!”

Godspousal plays a role in… most of my life. I am never not thinking about Lord Apollon. The biggest balance point comes into play with my physical romantic relationships. My partner is fully aware of my Godspousal, always has been. He thinks it’s adorable. In the past, he has said he hopes to show me the physical love that Lord Apollon may not be able to. And truly, he’s quite good at it. But I don’t typically struggle to balance things; it’s really just a matter of knowing when to disconnect myself from the divine or my relationship with Him. 

“How did you know it was right for you? Do you have any advice for those who are considering it?”

I knew it was right for me because it was something I thought about often. I thought it out, I considered it heavily, and I did research on it. The majority of your research will be through devotional blogs and similar things, personal WordPress blogs, etc. You have to take everything with a grain of salt. And I mean this specifically for Godspousal through a Hellenic Polytheistic lens, not generally. You can then draw your own conclusions and form your own opinions on Godspousal based on the UPG you find and the dynamics you see. But please think about it before you act - you shouldn’t run into it blindly. 

“Can you have a friends with benefits type relationship with your deities or is that illegal”

Well, I wouldn’t call it Illegal. It isn’t a bond I’ve had - in my own personal opinion, sex with a God isn’t quite something one can do, at least not on the physical plane. It would be a discussion of boundaries and dynamics between you and the God you are spoused to. I am also not the authority on Godspousal. If you so choose to have this kind of relationship, so be it, but I am not personally sure how one would maintain a relationship like this with a God.

“I have a question. How does one start godspusal? I'm just curious. Is it like, "hey, let's get married", or does it just gradually develop with the kharis IF you want to? Also, what are the consequences of ending it, if there are? Like, suddenly stopping.”

Communication is my answer! Communicating with the God you would like to spouse. I typically operate under the idea that the God should be the one to approach you about Spousal, not the other way around, though there is no reason why you can’t. It’s just a me thing, I suppose. But communication will be your best friend. For me, it gradually developed and moved in that direction. If you end it, I don’t see why there would be consequences? If you find that it isn’t for you, communicate with your God. Every relationship will be different. 

I truly hope this post was informational! Please feel free to ask me further questions - I love discussing Godspousal with others. My love for Lord Apollon is bright and fiery. Sharing this love makes me happy.  Xaire, Altis.

[starfacenix]

After opening up and telling my partner about my relationship with Lucifer, he asked what I thought of Lucifer’s relationships with other devotees that are of similar nature to mine. My answer came fast.

I think they’re wonderful.

I follow a lot of them, keep up with a lot of them. I love seeing their love for Lucifer and how Lucifer’s love manifests differently for each of us. I compared it to the idea of him(my partner) finding someone else and falling in love. I’d be ecstatic for him that he’s found someone else that makes him as happy as he makes me. I know it doesn’t mean he loves me any less. I know it doesn’t mean our relationship will change in any way. I know our bond will remain strong. His love for me isn’t going anywhere. There’s also the point that it’s not a competition in any way. Lucifer’s love is infinite, it’s not going to run out. And his love for each of us is unique. Everyone’s relationship is unique to them.

And I love that so much.

[starfacenix]

Lucifer told me (twice) he wanted me to be more open and transparent about my relationship with him online. The thought made me tremble a bit. I could just say no and keep this all to myself, but part of me wants to be open, I want to talk about my experiences despite what people may say. But another part of me is terrified at the idea of what people will think and say to me.

I’ve known for quite a while that Lucifer wanted to change the dynamics of our relationship. I just completely avoided the signs because… why would he want me? The answer to that I still do not totally have, but I’ve accepted this a lot more. Of course it became unavoidable when I had that dream about binding myself to him.

Also the countless and I mean countless times the lovers, 2 of cups, 4 of wands and a bunch of other fucking successful relationship cards popped out together. Every. Single. Time. For months.

What does it mean to have a romantic relationship with a deity? It’s something I’m just newly navigating myself. I can’t say anything for sure. But what I do know is that it makes me delightfully anxious around Lucifer.

I’ve always felt drawn to him, I always knew one day I would reach out to him ever since I was little, and I always knew I would devote myself to him. But my mind didn’t go to romance. It felt like a boundary I could not cross, one I shouldn’t cross.

I talked to him at length about my feelings towards him and I won’t get into all that here. But I’m approaching this as reasonably as I can. I’ve always held the belief that you, anyone, (of age) can have a romantic and/or sexual relationship with a deity. If you can see them as a parent, friend, or sibling why is as a lover off limits? I’ve always felt strongly about that.. I don’t know. But I didn’t expect to find myself in this scenario.

I want to be open and honest on my page about my practice, parts of my life, my experiences and how they change and evolve. This is just part of the journey.

I love Lucifer. This is just expanding the types of love I can give him and he can give me.

[starfacenix]

hii. I want to reach out to archangel micheal for protection and in general too, like I'm interested in working with him and i want to ask him for his help as well. But idk how to work with entities in general, I'm just a prayer and lighting and incense kind of person honestly. It's hard for me to keep tracks of rituals and make offering everyday... Do you have any prayer or advices that you can share. It would be incredibly helpful for me.

Hi!

Firstly, you don’t have to make offerings everyday, people rarely do. Same as rituals, I’m not a big ritual person either.

With archangel Michael and other angels I reached out to him with a simple prayer. It doesn’t have to be formal or fancy, tailor it to you and what you want to reach out to him for. I’d also set aside some time to research angels and how to work with them as they are different from any gods you may reach out to. Like physical offerings aren’t an absolute must, and worship is something you do NOT do with them. Just veneration. Look into Michael on another platform/websites as I’ve noticed Tumblr doesn’t have too too much information on angel work. You can try but not even I find much haha. If you’re a TikTok person I like the account @stmichaeldevotee. Easier to digest content but very accurate!

I just asked him right now for you if a casual, simple prayer is fine and he said yes. Don’t worry too much. :) light your candle or incense and just pray to him.

[starfacenix]

I am so tired of posts where someone implies that people who are godspoused are delusional or experiencing hallucinations. I am so tired of posts where someone arrogantly touts that godspousal has no historical basis (lmao), specifically in hellenic polytheism, and therefore must be fake

It is disgusting and disrespectful to armchair diagnose people with a serious medical condition simply because you experience the gods differently

I'm tired of being nice!

Who the fuck do you think you are?

Who the fuck gave you the authority to speak for the gods, to boldly proclaim you absolutely understand their desires and agency? Your textbooks?

THE GODS DON'T LIVE IN MYTH OR TEXTBOOKS: THEY'RE ALIVE RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW! They interact with our world every day, and they interact with us every day - sometimes casually, sometimes intimately, sometimes in signs! If you think you're a lowly little worm to your gods, then that's a YOU problem

Leave people who are godspoused the fuck alone

[starfacenix]

Just had a wild dream with Lucifer that ended up waking me up at 3 in the morning.

I was in a car with him, a car that he was driving quite fast. As if we were being chased. He had the appearance he’s always had in my head for years now. Sharp jawline, beautiful brown hair that just reached his shoulders. (It was a little messy. 🥰) Gorgeous honey brown eyes that shine so brightly in the sun. And his voice… I don’t hear it often but when I do… oh how I savor it. I’m trying to piece together this dream as I write this and I cannot. It’s leaving me as I speak.

I was reciting something. What I do not know. All I know is that I was pledging myself to him, binding myself to him. Those are both different things and different extremes I know, but they both sound right. He would say something and then I would repeat it. Then eventually he didn’t need to say anything at all and I would just say it myself. I remember him saying, “Good.”

Then immediately after that I went into another dream where I “woke up” and googled what he had me recite. This was definitely his way of telling me to remember when I woke up but of course when I actually did wake up from that second bizarre dream I couldn’t remember a damn thing.

Lucifer was there when I woke up, and I told him what I dreamt about. My heart was pounding, I was sweating and probably speaking a bit incoherently. He knew I was dreaming about him and that’s why he came to me, but he said he didn’t cause it to happen which shocked me. I asked him about the binding thing, and he told me that yes there is of course an official way of doing so. I asked if even in dream form if it has any merit… it does. I’m still mulling that over

After he left all I could think about was how much I needed to see him again. Like I needed him here with me. I need him beside me. I’m still thinking about him and what it all means at the moment and I don’t know. I’d love to know what other people think. I know it’d be helpful if I remembered what he told me to recite, believe me, I know. But I don’t, unfortunately.

[starfacenix]

Like 3 days ago I had asked the universe, and also archangel Michael for a sign. Just something to keep me going because it’s been a rough couple of weeks mentally. I felt like I wasn’t going to make it. I got scarily close to ending it all two nights ago. Today while going to the market my mom and I parked next to a car that said:

“I hope something good happens to you today. if you need a sign to stay alive, this is it.”

Then our total was 122.22.

Obviously I had gotten my sign, one that was very in my face. I asked Michael if it was from him and he said yes :).

I just wanted to share. Maybe if someone else needs a sign to keep going this can be your sign too.

You’re loved.

[starfacenix]

I wonder if Helpols who hate Zeus legitimately think they will have prosperous households

[starfacenix]

Superest Invictus Amor (Love Ever Present)

Artist: Elihu Vedder (American, 1836-1923)

Date: 1887

Medium: Oil on canvas

Collection: Rollins Museum of Art, Winter Park, Florida, United States

Description

This painting depicts Cupid perched on a Janus-headed pedestal with personifications of Psyche and Pan, respectively the object of Cupid’s romantic love and the personification of physical love.

[starfacenix]

To my Lord Eros and Lady Psyche

Please give me the strength I need to get through this.

Let me feel your love, envelop me, feel your hands on mine.

Hold me tight and guide me through this darkness.

Let me feel your light lifting the heaviness weighing on my heart and soul.

Keep me steady and on my feet, my eyes looking up and ahead.

Keep me moving forward, towards the goals of my heart and mind.

Let me see another day, devoting myself to you and your beloved.

My bringer of hope, Psyche and lovely heart-driven Eros.

Help me see what’s to come.

[starfacenix]

Devour them and let them devour you.

[starfacenix]

Hi, as a polytheist/Abrahamic believer—Why do you believe in Godspousal? Because both Modern & Ancient practices never sought that as a valid thing to "practice" or even claim—As, it is disrespectful to that deity, & the deities partner, & it's most likely a trickster, & not the actual deity itself.

Honestly? My opinion is that it's not my business. If you don't want to be a godspouse, don't be one

However in HelPol we do not believe in tricksters. If you call a gods name, they will answer you. What we DO believe in is poor discernment.

[starfacenix]

For other people that can feel and sense their gods and/or entities in their space, what is that like for you?

Like I have asked a god to hold my hand before or I’ve asked for a hug, and it’s like that part of my body is being dipped in high vibrations if that makes any sense 💀 Or it can feel like a jolt that makes my body break into a sweat.

What about you?