starkerandshit

[starkerandshit]

i had a dream that time travel was invented and too many people choose to travel back in time to save the titanic from sinking (the question of whether unsinking of the titanic deserved so much attention in the face of human history was the subject of both heavy academic and online discourse), which caused a rift in the space-time-continuum that led to the titanic showing up indiscriminately all over the world’s oceans and sea in various states of sinking.

this caused a lot of issues both in terms of fixing said space-time-continuum and in terms of nautical navigation, and after a long and heavy battle in the international maritime organization it was decided that the bureaucratic burden of dealing with this was to be upon Ireland, much to their dismay. the Irish Government then released an app for all sailors and seafarers so they could report titanic sightings during their journeys, even though they heavily dissuaded you from reporting them given the paperwork it caused.

anyway i woke up with a clear image of the app in my head and needed to recreate it for all of you:

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#Earth’s Mightiest Heroes Fashion Critics. 

[starkerandshit]

by hailingstars

“I’m not thrilled about sharing my apartment with a tarantula, but what can I do?” asked Happy, with a note of panic, suggesting his question wasn’t completely hypothetical. “May likes him. She thinks it’s cute Peter wants to have a spider brother.”

“Hap, what?”

“Pete can talk to him,” said Happy, scratching his head. “I walked past his bedroom once and he was up in his web hammock with the spider. They were making clicking noises at each other.”

OR

Peter Parker is a ruthless prankster.

Words: 2500, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Series: Part 4 of title in progress (febuwhump 2022)

Fandoms: Iron Man (Movies), Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)

Rating: General Audiences

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: Gen

Characters: Peter Parker, Tony Stark, Morgan Stark (Marvel Cinematic Universe), May Parker (Spider-Man), Pepper Potts, Happy Hogan

Relationships: Peter Parker & Tony Stark, Happy Hogan & Peter Parker, Happy Hogan/May Parker (Spider-Man)

Additional Tags: Febuwhump 2022, Pranks and Practical Jokes, Spiders, Peter Parker is a Little Shit, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker’s Parental Figure, Family Fluff, Peter the prankster, Morgan helps, Happy Hogan Needs a Hug

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[x]

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[in the lab]

Peter: Hey can I play some music?

Tony: Sure kid

Peter: [pulls out his tuba]

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In the compound medbay

Tony: what happened?

Sam: I’m not saying it’s Peter’s fault-

Bucky: but it’s Peter’s fault.

Peter: ugh, snitches

Tony: just tell me what happened

Sam: Peter thought that if he drank 10 red bulls, he wouldn’t have to eat for the day-

Peter: it was a timesaver!

Bucky: and then he passed out while swinging-

Sam: and Bucky’s first reaction was to jump off the roof to grab him-

Bucky: so Sam had to jump to grab me-

Sam: and our combined weight was too much for the wingsuit to pull up in time-

Bucky: so we crashed into a pond-

Sam: Bucky broke his wrist-

Bucky: Sam’s suit jammed-

Sam: and Peter was still passed out-

Bucky: so we looked like two creeps who had kidnapped an unconscious kid-

Sam: which might have been because Bucky said ‘mind your damn business’ to a lady passing by-

Bucky: and then that old bitch called the cops.

Peter, 100% seriously: she’s the REAL snitch here

Tony, almost crying: ...you two are never allowed to Peter-sit again.

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/1049966?view_full_work=true

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https://m.fanfiction.net/s/9194811/1/Unwanted-Bonds

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Ok so you know cat's eyes? Yea one of my big hc is that Peter's eyes are like that and they go "full moon" around people he trusts/likes (May, ned etc) and "crescent moon" and people he doesn't trust/like. So the first time Tony sees his eyes go "crescent moon" (at like a rude person) he surprised because he's never seen his eyes like that, he asks May and she's like "Yea they do that lol" I know this is a weird hc along with my others but I really like it alot so I wanted to share it, Enjoy!

Uuuuh, this is actually so interesting?? I mean, I don’t know why Peter would have cat-like abilities if a spider bit him, but maybe OsCorp crossed spider and cat genes, idk, let’s not think about it too much

Peter’s eyes have three stages

1. the one where his pupils look completely normal and human

2. the one where his pupils turn into slits when he doesn’t like someone

3. the one where his pupils grow so large, he kinda looks like an anime character

Tony doesn’t find out about it for a long time

not unitl May comes over after a lab day because Peter wants to show her what he’s been working on

and as soon as Peter sees her, his pupils grow

Tony is concerned, but neither Peter or May comment about it, so he keeps his mouth shut

about two weeks later, they’re at Mr. Delmar’s for some food (Tony is in disguise), and a customer is very rude to Mr. Delmar

immediately, Peter’s pupils turn into slits as he glares at the customer

after that, Tony finally asks: “Kid, what’s happening with your eyes?”

“What do you mean?”

“Your pupils are doing this weird stuff. Like, growing and shrinking from time to time.”

Peter, in his pure teenager-ness, simply shrugs. “Yeah, May already told me that they do that sometimes. Guess must be a spider-thing.”

Turns out, it’s a cat-thing, which Tony finds out after a bit of research

but since it doesn’t really affect Peter’s sight in general, he decides it’s not a big deal

which doesn’t mean he forgets about it

especially a few weeks later, when he surprises Peter after school and he can see how the kid’s pupils grow larger and larger

just as the warm, fuzzy feeling in Tony’s chest that keeps showing up when he looks at his the kid

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Ooo, 31? People get so huggy and kissy when it’s the New Year (maybe cause they’re drunk, who knows) but anyway there seems to be this big flurry of hugs and noise all of a sudden that you get caught up in and suddenly your sister’s friend’s mom is giving you a hug, and it might be funny if Peter just *jumps* at Tony and gives him the biggest hug because he’s all caught up in the excitement, and maybe kisses him on the cheek because that could be cute, and it’s just cute and happy

Thanks for the prompt! Sorry it’s been a minute, but here it is. Hope you enjoy!

——

For Peter, his last New Year’s Eve celebration had been seven months and fourteen days ago. Just him and May in their apartment, watching the countdown on the TV and waiting for the firework show out of their window. Blissfully unaware of what would come next.

For Tony, his last New Year’s Eve celebration had been five years and exactly seven months ago. He’d been at his penthouse in the city with Pepper, Rhodey, Happy, and a 2008 bottle of Sauvignon. Tony, as always, acutely aware that something was coming, but willing to push it aside for one day.

Of course, Thanos came, half the world went, and Tony didn’t feel much like celebrating. Until now.

Now everyone was back. Alive. Safe. And for the first time, all in one room. The Compound’s lounge was teeming with Avengers - new and old - and friends they’d found along the way. Rogers, Natasha, Barnes, and Sam were in one corner, the first two trying their best to keep that latter from tearing each other apart.

Clint brought his family along, The kids grilling Vision on what it was like being an android while Wanda egged them on, a smile hidden behind her hand. Scott had even brought the whole San Fransisco side up to New York - Tony was dying for the perfect moment to catch Hank in a conversation about his Pym particles.

Peter and Ned, who had been huddled around the TV, whirled around with matching goofy grins on their faces. “The countdown started!” Peter called out, Ned saying words to similar effect over the top.

Tony couldn’t wipe a smile from his face as everyone gathered around. He stood behind the sofa and squeezed the kid’s shoulders, though Peter kept his eyes glued to the screen, practically vibrating with anticpication.

“Five!” Ned yelled, earning himself an elbow from MJ beside him. It didn’t deter him, though. “Four.”

By now everyone had joined in, the room filled with their voices. “Three! Two! One!”

“Happy New Year!”

The group broke out in a flurry of noise, cheering and shouting and Clint yelling Auld Lang Syne at the top of his voice.

In front of Tony, Peter jumped to his feet and turned around. Swept up in the joy, he stepped up onto the sofa and, when he didn’t show any sign of stopping, Tony threw his arms out just in time to catch the kid as he launched himself over the back and latched his arms around Tony.

“Woah, kid!” Tony laughed, returning the hug as Peter locked his legs around Tony’s waist. He pressed a kiss to the kid’s cheek. “Happy New Year, Pete.”

Peter grinned up at him, eyes sparkling. “Happy New Year, Mister Stark!”

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I saw you’re a writer. Do you take prompts? If so, can we get tony with a motorcycle giving peter his first ride? 😁 thanks

You got it! Thanks for being my first prompt! 

Starker: Peter is 22yo. 3k. Smut below. Smoking. Tony is guilty and Peter is a little shit. 

Keep reading

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/4186203

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