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"What Haunts in Vegas.........stays in Vegas!"

The hypothetical college trio series includes many hard hitting episodes, including this one where Vlad's in drag and has to seduce a short, sleazy human trafficking ringleader while Jack and Maddie play cards in the casino and distract the bodyguards.

This has been sitting in my drafts forever and I probably won't finish it any time soon (i wanted to adapt most of it into a longer comic) so here's a summary of the ensuing shenanigans and gags:

I love the idea that a series about Jack, Maddie and Vlad would feature a lot of stories about organized crime with a ghostly twist, so this is a reflection of that.

The trio plus Agents K and O set up a trap within a ritzy Vegas casino. Vlad, disguised as the silver vixen bait, is thoroughly incensed by his humiliating role but also ironically looks like enough of an effortless knock-out in a slinky black dress that the ruse seems to work on Petri. (Earlier, Vlad exclaimed to Maddie that only "an idiot" would fall for this disguise, followed immediately by Jack not recognizing him and wondering "who the broad in black is", only proving Vlad's point.)

The height difference between Petri and Vlad is so ridiculous that Vlad (who is wearing high heels) doesn't even initially notice when Petri approaches him to hit on him.

Another silly angle that makes Vlad a comically tailor-made fit for the role of Petri's seducer is the fact that Petri is a wine and cheese snob and prefers his women to be "cultured" in that regard. Vlad can't be out-snobbed on either front, so it nearly turns into a pissing contest of who's enjoyed the more exotic and expensive pairing.

Petri asks the 6'3 silver haired goddess sitting next to him if her hair is naturally silver, and Vlad stays in character to say yes, but it was caused by a great deal of stress brought on by her "oafish buffoon of an ex-husband" which prompts Agents K and O to tell Vlad to stick to the script through Vlad's bugged earring, and Jack in the other earring to express surprise that he didn't know his best buddy was married and why didn't he tell him?!

(A vein pulses in Vlad's temple, but he maintains a nostalgic expression for Petri's sake while he discreetly reaches up and mercilessly crushes his earring between his fingertips with an electronic crunch. Agent O turns to Agent K in the hotel suite they're monitoring the mission from. "Heels destroyed his comm." "...This is the last time we work with civilians.")

At some point, an increasingly smarmy Petri places his hand on Vlad's leg, and an uncomfortable Vlad's instinctive reflex is, unfortunately, to choke him.

While all of this is taking place, Jack and Maddie are playing the tables alongside Petri's lieutenants. The idea is that when Vlad lures Petri to the suite where Agents O & K will apprehend him, they will safely subdue the henchmen.

Vlad does manage to get Petri into the hotel room, but things immediately go off the rails at that point. Agents K and O have been incapacitated off screen, and Petri reveals he suspected that this was all a set up from the beginning, so he took the liberty of removing the dangerous element from the equation. Meanwhile, Jack and Maddie have their hands full as subduing the henchmen goes poorly and it turns out a large portion of the casino customers seem to be currently overshadowed. A massive fight breaks out.

The GIW files assumed that Petri Fyer was a human, but Vlad had clocked almost immediately upon meeting him that he's actually a ghost overshadowing a human being. Petri Fyer is actually Petrifyer, a large, monstrous ghost that resembles a toad. He departs from his human host to confront Vlad. Petrifyer has a paralytic venom that stuns humans and renders them immobile, so he uses it on Vlad and gleefully tries to decide what he should do with all of them.

It becomes apparent that Petrifyer understood that the whole situation was a set up, but he totally missed the fact that Vlad wasn't who he said he was, and since the paralytic venom is only effective on human beings, Vlad manages to break out of the paralysis by forcing a transformation.

Petrifyer vs. Plasmius ensues, there's some back and forth where Petri is 1) shocked he got catfished, 2) shocked he got catfished by the half-ghost billionaire who tried and failed to take over the world during the global meteor incident, and 3) still very into Vlad despite literally everything that is going on. Vlad proceeds to cheerfully beat the stuffing out of him.

Jack and Maddie manage to husband-wife power couple their way through ALL of the ghost-guests, wrecking the casino in the process. By the time they make it to the hotel room for back up, Vlad is standing in the middle of a destroyed suite, red heels in hand, Agents K and O groaning on the floor, and the dastardly ghost/human duo restrained. Vlad shoots his friends a withering glare and tries to wipe his lipstick off with the back of his hand. It just smears.

Petri turns out to be a case of true possession (over shadowing being short-term and possession being long-term). The meek, unconfident, ordinary gas station employee, Patrick Fitz, is consensually allowing the sleazy toad-like ghost Petrifyer to use his body to navigate the human world and make them both rich.

Once in custody, Patrick and Petrifyer attempt to elicit sympathy from Vlad due to their similar positions and affinity for "ghost-human relations." Vlad just sneers at them and says he is so far out of their league in every possible way they might as well be on different planets.

The mission ends, Jack immediately forgets he signed a non-disclosure agreement, and Maddie practices her card game skills. (Afterward, Vlad offers Maddie a much more understanding apology for the way he used to treat her, and thanks her for not killing him at any point during those days.)

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Hiiiiii, if it's okay can I request art of my Mouthwashing ship? His name is Daisuke and her Lena (her design is in my pinned post)

Thank you so much if you decide to do it!

Aaa!!! I’ve never drawn any Mouthwashing characters so I hope I did him well!!

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Digital Ladies

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I’m once again hyperfixating on another Lego show. Speedpaint under the cut to prove I’m human

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favirote moots?

(People you tag have to reblog and say their favorite moots)

Okay wait

@ibrokeurheartbcuzubrokemine @foliverfalls @allyeilishh @addisonraesbaby @emiliesblohsh @bilsslut @noodleswashere @bilsbabyy @bitchesbrokenpromises @billsdollie

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shapeshifting attempts

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'Neath the Steller Moon

(Steller's Jays, copics on blue toned paper, microns and white gel pen for details)

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A other late night apothecary diaries thought:

Something I haven’t seen talked about is the scene between the late emperor and Jinshi and the implications of what would have happened if Jinshi’s mother hadn’t stepped in.

(This one? it was kinda a dream sequence tho? Idk)

Throughout the series it’s constantly drilled into our heads how androgynous Jinshi is, with comments about how both men and women fall for him, and how he can pass as a woman.

I fully believe that the Late emperor saw him like one of the young girls he… ‘collected’ (to put it nicely) and Jinshi would have been sexually assaulted. His mother understood this and probably throughout his childhood tried to keep him away from the late emperor.

Like this might be obvious but one of my friends didn’t pick up on it so I thought I’d talk about it here. I just think it’s so fucked that the one thing that he gets praised for throughout the series is the same thing that put him in danger in his own home.

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perhaps... Ari.. Ariana... Griande... Sighsss... I love my wife ☹️

Happy pride month to miss griande only everyone else go home

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Damn I should really get round to decorating my profile….

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reuploads of my fav lmk pieces I've done (which all revolve around tang lol) <3

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This weekend I was told a story which, although I’m kind of ashamed to admit it, because holy shit is it ever obvious, is kind of blowing my mind.

A friend of a friend won a free consultation with Clinton Kelly of What Not To Wear, and she was very excited, because she has a plus-size body, and wanted some tips on how to make the most of her wardrobe in a fashion culture which deliberately puts her body at a disadvantage.

Her first question for him was this: how do celebrities make a plain white t-shirt and a pair of weekend jeans look chic?  She always assumed it was because so many celebrities have, by nature or by design, very slender frames, and because they can afford very expensive clothing.  But when she watched What Not To Wear, she noticed that women of all sizes ended up in cute clothes that really fit their bodies and looked great.  She had tried to apply some guidelines from the show into her own wardrobe, but with only mixed success.  So - what gives?

His answer was that everything you will ever see on a celebrity’s body, including their outfits when they’re out and about and they just get caught by a paparazzo, has been tailored, and the same goes for everything on What Not To Wear.  Jeans, blazers, dresses - everything right down to plain t-shirts and camisoles.  He pointed out that historically, up until the last few generations, the vast majority of people either made their own clothing or had their clothing made by tailors and seamstresses.  You had your clothing made to accommodate the measurements of your individual body, and then you moved the fuck on.  Nothing on the show or in People magazine is off the rack and unaltered.  He said that what they do is ignore the actual size numbers on the tags, find something that fits an individual’s widest place, and then have it completely altered to fit.  That’s how celebrities have jeans that magically fit them all over, and the rest of us chumps can’t ever find a pair that doesn’t gape here or ride up or slouch down or have about four yards of extra fabric here and there.

I knew that having dresses and blazers altered was probably something they were doing, but to me, having alterations done generally means having my jeans hemmed and then simply living with the fact that I will always be adjusting my clothing while I’m wearing it because I have curves from here to ya-ya, some things don’t fit right, and the world is just unfair that way.  I didn’t think that having everything tailored was something that people did. 

It’s so obvious, I can’t believe I didn’t know this.  But no one ever told me.  I was told about bikini season and dieting and targeting your “problem areas” and avoiding horizontal stripes.  No one told me that Jennifer Aniston is out there wearing a bigger size of Ralph Lauren t-shirt and having it altered to fit her.

I sat there after I was told this story, and I really thought about how hard I have worked not to care about the number or the letter on the tag of my clothes, how hard I have tried to just love my body the way it is, and where I’ve succeeded and failed.  I thought about all the times I’ve stood in a fitting room and stared up at the lights and bit my lip so hard it bled, just to keep myself from crying about how nothing fits the way it’s supposed to.  No one told me that it wasn’t supposed to.  I guess I just didn’t know.  I was too busy thinking that I was the one that didn’t fit.

I thought about that, and about all the other girls and women out there whose proportions are “wrong,” who can’t find a good pair of work trousers, who can’t fill a sweater, who feel excluded and freakish and sad and frustrated because they have to go up a size, when really the size doesn’t mean anything and it never, ever did, and this is just another bullshit thing thrown in your path to make you feel shitty about yourself.

I thought about all of that, and then I thought that in elementary school, there should be a class for girls where they sit you down and tell you this stuff before you waste years of your life feeling like someone put you together wrong.

So, I have to take that and sit with it for a while.  But in the meantime, I thought perhaps I should post this, because maybe my friend, her friend, and I are the only clueless people who did not realise this, but maybe we’re not.  Maybe some of you have tried to embrace the arbitrary size you are, but still couldn’t find a cute pair of jeans, and didn’t know why.

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peak deltarune moment

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Spooky

Wyldfyre wakes up for no reason. 

Heatwave is still healing. His breathing is less strained than before, and his wound is looking much better after Kai’s stupid, begrudgingly-cool rock trick. 

Speaking of Kai, he’s awake, sitting, watching the dragon core glow. It illuminates his face in the dark like a fire, but without the cool flickering. It’s steady and uncomfortable, artificial, not a natural living, breathing thing like fire is. 

“Kai?” She rubs her eyes with her wrist until she sees sparks and colours behind her eyes and then squints when he doesn’t respond. It’s weird that he’s awake. Weirder still that he didn’t respond to her. Maybe she missed it. 

”Kai?” she tries again.

When he doesn’t respond the second time either. She feels a bit grouchy. Offended. Annoyed. She knows he’s awake, she can see the light from the dragon cores reflecting off the eye, almost white. She stands, giving him the courtesy of grunting and grumbling so he knows she’s awake and annoyed. She gives heatwave a pat and he responds with a low grumbling of acknowledgement back. At least someone isn’t ignoring her. 

“Kai.” She says. Nothing still. So she speaks louder and with more growl. “Hey. Kai—“ 

It happens so fast she doesn’t see it.

One second he’s looking at the dragon core and the next his head has snapped to look at her, but it’s not Kai; His eyes are white. 

His name catches in her throat. They’re empty. They’re too-wide. There’s no hint of pupils or anything else. There was no hint of feeling or a dragon—person. The hairs on the back of her arms, her back, her neck all stand on end. 

Then he blinks, and it’s gone. 

“Sorry,” says just Kai.” Were you saying something?” 

Wyldfyre doesn’t know when her arms came up, posed, ready to fight. 

Wylfyre was very awake now. 

“Wyldfyre?” 

“You were just…” She hears herself. Unsure, feeble. Very not-dragon. Kai’s looking at her. He looks like Kai. His eyes are brown with that warmth she’s gotten so used to seeing coming from them. He looks stupid. His hair is fluffy and soft. He looks soft. There’s no sign of what she had been so sure had been staring at her a moment before. It was so brief she couldn’t even be sure she had seen it. 

“Nevermind.” Wyldfyre forces her hands down and clenches them at her side. “I’m probably just sleepy,” is what she tells him, to make sure he knows she’s still more dragon-ish than him. “Why are you awake like a weirdo?” 

“Oh, hah,” Kai says. “Just thinking.” 

She’s squinting at him. “You do that?”

When Kai smiles. And it’s annoying, warm and soft. “Sometimes.” 

“Gross,” she says, crossing her arms. 

“It’s quiet here,” Kai says. It’s out-of-pocket. It’s not really relevant. When he says it, he sounds different.

”Whatever,” Wyldfyre says, turning away. “I’m going back to sleep.” 

“Okay,” Kai says to her back as she goes. “G’night.” 

Heatwave rumbles as Wyldfyre crawls under his arm. She pretends to get comfy and risks a glance back. 

Kai’s back to staring at the dragon core. His hair is over his eyes, blocking them from her view. But Wyldfyre thinks she still sees white between the strands.

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I hope there friendship quickly hits the annoying siblings level

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dont tell any of my friends or mutuals but....their ocs are really cool.................

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