statespeare - Tumblr blog

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thinking about how a dog named crab would do numbers on tumblr today

kudos to lance from two gents

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Antony & Cleopatra: the pettiest power couple in politics

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please enjoy this video of me, in my Mark Antony costume, performing Friends, Romans, Countrymen but it’s the Sonic Adventure 2 Real-Time Fandub

this version written by @trans-marcus-brutus. transcript below cut

Friends, Romans, countrymen! I've come to make an announcement. Marcus Junius Brutus's a bitch ass motherfucker, he pissed on my fucking sugar daddy. That’s right, he took his dick out and he pissed on my fucking sugar daddy, and he said his dick was "This big" and I said that's disgusting, so I'm making a callout post on my pulpit, Marcus Junius Brutus, you've got a small dick, it's the size of a walnut except WAY smaller, and guess what? Here's what my dong looks like!!! Look at that, it's like a hilt, and a blade. And I fucked Caesar so guess what? I'm gonna fuck ROME. THAT'S RIGHT THIS IS WHAT YOU GET, MY SUPER SWORD PISS! Except I'm not gonna piss on Rome. I'm gonna go higher. I'M PISSING ON THE MOON! HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT, CASSIUS? I PISSED ON THE MOON YOU IDIOT! YOU HAVE 23 HOURS BEFORE THE PISS DROPLETS HIT THE FUCKING EARTH NOW GET OUT OF MY SIGHT BEFORE I PISS ON YOU TOO!

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Antony's speech but there's a really awkward zoom-in every time he says the word "honorable"

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the julius caesar cast decided that it’s catboy night

(first by @countrytoads, second by @trans-marcus-brutus)

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made by @shakespeares-gm

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be sure to leave out milk and cookies for brutus tonight

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The memorandum that’s composèd here

is writ for Rachel. Foul and heinous witch!

Dost thy cheeseparing heart beat fast with fear?

I toil not to make thy two faces rich!

Thou false, mendacious, lily-livered wench!

O Moby Dick! Thou greatest, whitest whale!

Canst thou contain thy fetid cheesy stench?

I’ll hunt thee down, and then I shall assail

thee for thy trifling gossamer charade,

thy flagrant falsehoods, and thy churlish mien!

Go! Run and hide, thou milksop! Be afraid!

I am no player, but I’ll make a scene!

Think’st thou I’ll bear thee pilfering my pelf?

Oh, fear no bears! I’ll maul thee my damn self!

[statespeare]

I (the person who runs this account) feel like everyone is sleeping on the homoerotic potential of Hal and Hotspur. But also, Hotspur and Kate? 👀

Long story short, Hotspur is a bi icon, and read the histories!

Today’s poll pits two very good plays against each other! Will tumblr go for the spectacle of Tempest’s magic, or the somewhat more down-to-earth conflict between one of the best pairs of rival-foils in the canon?

Check out the pinned post and the #bard poll tag to keep an eye on the bracket! And remember, keep any debate in the notes kind and civil. May the best play win!

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ladies and gentlemen, this is henry number five

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I’m a huge fan of yours (requested by Anonymous)

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They should have a disney princess who is haunted by The Skull