Stefani Joanne Angelina Germanotta is my name but you may know me as Lady Gaga. New York City gave birth to me 32 years ago. Singer. Actress. Performance Artist. Activist. Green Acres resident (city girl turned farmer). Mommy to three batpigs, two horses, one bunny & one mini pig, & some chickens. this goober has had the best wife since june 10th, 2016. Welcome to the world, little princess: Amorette 'Amore' Sofia Joanne 8.26.15 and to the baby gummy bear, Lennon Everette Alexander 9.19.16
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residentgooberā;
Did I?! Am I officially a genius now? I mean, if there are rumors, it just means weāre worth talking about⦠right⦠Maybe weāve sold our souls but we donāt know it⦠so weāve sold our brains too? So weāre⦠zombies? Or working for some mastermind? I probably should stop while I��m ahead, I swear, Iām not a conspiracy theorist! Ha, well they take on after you more. But I noticed that too. Heās my mini-me, so I guess he just likes to stick around me like that. I think maybe we can arrange something, sheās getting old enough to learn to ride, isnāt she? Iām pretty sure I held back absolutely nothing. I know she wonāt ever forget it. You and me? Probably, weāre already nonstop. Our kids are going to have to get us to sit down for more than five minutes. Heās⦠heās such a legend, a trooper. I am happy, though, heās had such a colorful, amazing career. I only hope to be half the legend he is, still singing at that age. He deserves an award for being so incredible and just existing.
I always knew that you were a genius, but I guess that does mean itās official now! Which... I think we might want to keep on the down low, because if weāre zombies, and youāre a geniusā does that make you a Zombie thatās still capable of human emotions? Like that one movie that I canāt remember the name of at the moment but I swear exists. A little mini you has turned into your mini-me stalker at this point and itās adorable. You mean to tell me sheās not going to stay little forever?! Damn. Alright, alright, Iāll call the ranch tomorrow and see what classes they have for her.Ā Hell, Iām sure heās sick of all the awards at this point. Does he even have any more room to keep them all?Ā
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residentgooberā;
Did I?! Am I officially a genius now? I mean, if there are rumors, it just means weāre worth talking about⦠right⦠Maybe weāve sold our souls but we donāt know it⦠so weāve sold our brains too? So weāre⦠zombies? Or working for some mastermind? I probably should stop while Iām ahead, I swear, Iām not a conspiracy theorist! Ha, well they take on after you more. But I noticed that too. Heās my mini-me, so I guess he just likes to stick around me like that. I think maybe we can arrange something, sheās getting old enough to learn to ride, isnāt she? Iām pretty sure I held back absolutely nothing. I know she wonāt ever forget it. You and me? Probably, weāre already nonstop. Our kids are going to have to get us to sit down for more than five minutes. Heās⦠heās such a legend, a trooper. I am happy, though, heās had such a colorful, amazing career. I only hope to be half the legend he is, still singing at that age. He deserves an award for being so incredible and just existing.
Well.... yeah. I thought everyone know about your genius abilities already including you. Unless we did end up selling our brains, in which case, wellā that seems about on brand for us with our love for Halloween, right? Weāre just getting in the spirit a little bit early this year. Sometimes conspiracy theories are fun, though! Watching him walk around holding your hand constantly is adorable. Do we think so? Thatās what everyone else keeps saying, too, but Iām still afraid of letting her go on her own! Getting us to sit down for that long seems like an impossible task, huh? But I think we might be able to accomplish that for such an amazing, wonderful, talented legend like Tony for a special dinner. What do you think?
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residentgooberā;
Oh, itās not called, the hidden cost of signing away your soul? Iām kidding. Kidding. Thatās the best part, right! Weāve⦠been through a lot in these five years. I think those tough times are the big ones that really just pushed us, you know? Theyāre definitely your kids, loving the horses. We may need to start doing some trips over to Circle B so they could practice more, too. Iām not gonna lie, I sobbed. You both were amazing as always. Remember when Tony danced with my mom at our wedding? I donāt think Iāve ever seen her so starstruck.
Wait a minuteā Dare, babe, I think you might have figured out a way to get everyone off our backs with the senseless rumors about us and the Illuminati! Technically speaking if we sold our souls at our wedding, doesnāt that prove we still had souls to sell and we arenāt illuminati puppets? Checkmate. Please, my kids? It was so cute watching Lennon be attached at your hip wanting to go everywhere we went the entire time. I think so, too. Amoreās been asking for her own horse; maybe we can see how well she does there. Iām not gonna lie... I saw you sob. Tony dancing with her was magical, her face beamed up so much. Do you think weāll both still be forced into retirement by the time weāre 95? It was a hard enough time trying to convince him.
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freddycxrterā;
revenge is absolutely perfect for drive. i mean, thatās what kaz does for everything, do it out of revenge and he does pretty okay so iād say itās good. oh yeah, no spiders, or at least not in the tent so thatās a success. and the activities have been so much fun. how about you?
There we go, we have a game plan all set and everything. Iām glad you didnāt run into any spiders in your tentā and hereās hoping to you not finding one when you got back home, right? Please tell me thatās the case. I had such a fun time with the kids and on the more adult activities, yeah! But itās nice to be back in Bayview; what about you?Ā
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residentgooberā;
I like that. Oh, so thatās what that tiny writing is for? Huh. Well now we know how to really keep things hidden. Hey, Iāll take 100000% of the blame for that,Ā you know. Still, Iāll keep your secret. Oh my god, yes, I think that just made them even more excited. They are⦠quite adventurous, huh? Weāve got quite the little explorers on our hands. This will be fun. But at least they enjoy it and arenāt grossed out by the bugs. Well now theyāre passed out in the living room, so I guess their energy has finally run out. Howāre you feeling, though? Looking forward to the big night coming up with Tony?
Yeah, I think thatās why they call it the fine print or something like that. At least weāre both trapped together! Considering the two of them would not stop begging to go on all the adventures, yeah... theyāre tough ones, Iāll give you that. I could not get either of them to stop wanting to go back for the little kids horse adventures! I think that had to do something with it, too. Yeah. Now that itās over, I mean.... itās bittersweet, you know? But it was an honor to be there by his side for his last performance.Ā
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zaynsalambā;
oh god i know. sometimes itās only a word⦠and then youāre stuck for the rest of the day just singing that damn song. i hate it. or i mean i also love it because damn, they make some good music⦠but my poor brain sometimes. i am sorry stef, next time you are invited. i promise.
Which is kinda ironic given that weāre meant to be doing that for a living, too, with making catchy music that appeals to everyoneā does that mean the outrageous rumors about selling our souls are true?! Are we worse than Disney? Excuse me, I need a moment to think about this. I better be! Iāll still bail you out just in case this one time, though.Ā
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ohpompeoā;
The past few weeks have been nothing short of madness and I couldnāt be happier to be taking it easy (well, easy plus hiking) with my kiddos for the next short while. My head has been firmly in the sand with my upcoming projects and a trip to the wilderness with my favorite people is exactly what the doctor prescribed. What are you all looking forward to most ā or, dare I say, least? I might have to tag along, either way!
Nothing can beat the smell of fresh air while hanging out with the little ones! With how nice it is to get all our heads out of all our projects, maybe we should commit to doing this more oftā oh, who are we kidding? Like weād make the time! Personally, Iām looking forward to the river adventures! And Amore has been begging to ride a horse on her own before we leave, so you and your little ones are free to join us, if youād like!
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freddycxrterā;
yeah it just.. we got a really good start to the game so you start really dreaming you know? and then itās just⦠all gone. there will be another chance and all but still, it really sucks. are you enjoying the trip though?
You know what motivates people the most? Revenge and wanting to do that much better the next time. Theyāll definitely have another chance! I am, itās definitely been nice to be able to relax. What about you? See any spiders around?
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xjmparrishā;
When you put it that way, I definitely feel a little better. Thank you so much, I appreciate it. We really really appreciate it! Truly. Any and everything, from your words of wisdom to gifts, we appreciate it.Ā
Of course, you donāt even have to thank me! You both deserve everything and youāre both going to be the most amazing parents ever. Just make sure youāre taking care of yourself even after the little one comes, too! Speaking of which, do or Robbie have any favorite meals or dishes that you like? Iām totally up to making some meals so you guys can freeze them and reheat them, if youād like.
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zaynsalambā;
thank god. i mean i donāt mind singing but sometimes? these songs just get stuck⦠and usually you donāt even know more of the song than that one line that your mind gets stuck on and itās awful. really awful. what, you arenāt? damn stef, you should have said something sooner⦠i already broke into one.
You know who I think are the real masters at managing to get songs stuck in your head? Disney. All those Disney soundtracks, man, and not to mention that ride that shall not be named to spare both of us; itās impossible not to sing! Goddammit, Zayn. You broke into a bakery.... without me?Ā
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residentgooberā;
I know, look what youāve done to me! But really, Iāll happily be chained to you. I think after you opened the restaurant, it just came full circle to me. So now weāve got to represent both New York and San Francisco here in town. You know I do it out of love. Also if you see the kids running around super excited⦠I do not know where that extra energy came from. Maybe theyāll crash and fall asleep once we grab dinner and settle back into the cabin.
Weāll happily be chained to each other forever. I think thatās in the fine print in the vows, you know, the part you need a magnifying glass to read. Of course we do! If anyone catches me sneaking out to support San Fran instead of New York, well.... nobody saw anything, right? I know! Not even them running around catching all the lightning bugs before bed seems to tire them outā honestly, I think the hike might have done the trick this morning.
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zaynsalambā;
share your suffering? well i know how that is. but yeah i spent a lot of time singing it. oh god i know right? it was honestly so good. i think it shouldnāt be too hard to replicate, then again, thatās what i always say and then i get home.. and itās well, very hard to replicate.
Iām going to the one to bring the good news that the song I canāt remember has now left my head, so... Iām not going to inflict anymore of that suffering onto you. No more singing at all unless itās wanted! God, yeah. Sometimes I swear thereās some secret magical ingredient that can only be found in the bakeries. Maybe itās the equipment. And no, this is me totally not suggesting breaking into a random bakery to test this theory out.
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freddycxrterā;
iām sorry iām sorry, i didnāt mean that but if youāre gonna get any song stuck on your brain, it must be good with a song of your own, right? i had a lot of fun anyway and now when iāve been grieving the england loss for a week⦠i am almost ready to move on with my life. almost.
Yeah! Thatās always a bonus. Well, shit. Losses are always tough, and I feel you. Hell, I donāt even think people would judge if you took another week to move on with your life. Almost. Then you can ask yourself,Ā āwhen will they ever win?!ā inĀ fit of rage andĀ finally move on.
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zaynsalambā;
thank you stef, the support is what i need. even though now because you said best of both worlds? i am going to have to go around humming it all day. but still thank you. it was a really fun cake, it had like a brownie base, then there was white chocolatemousse that had just a hint of peach in it, and then it was covered in a red berry glaze. it was colourful and lovely and delicious.
Damn, I should have known that was going to happen the moment that phrase left my mouth. Who knows, maybe the song had been stuck in my head, and I just needed someone to suffer with me the rest of the day. Excuse me! Chocolate mousse with peach?! Oh my god, no, you have the self control of a saint at this point. Having no self control would be my ass buying multiples and trying to study the recipeā which, tell me, totally worth it?
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residentgooberā;
I mean, youāre practically stuck with me at this point. Me and running around back and forth⦠climbing on top of pianos. All that jazz⦠Even if I had hands growing out of my ears, you would still be cheering me on. And thatās why I love you.
Who would have thought that a simple wedding ring could chain someone down for the rest of their lives like that to someone else?! Kidding, kidding. Damn straight I would, I love you no matter what you decide to do. Including chasing everyone around with the song requests.Ā
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townofrenauxā;
Itās super nice to meet you too, Stefani. Iāve got a few good ones for sure! Never thought they would share them, but glad that they did! I know, right? I do have excellent music taste because I listen to all your songs too! The vibes are important, right? An ice bath? Oof, why an ice bath?
Oh man, Iām honestly not surprised people decided to share anywayā hell, Iāll indulge you and share one! I almost got arrested one time while visiting Russia for my first promo tour because they thought I was a prostitute in the streets. Anything youād like to share? Oh, shit, that was smooth. Is this where we both freak out about being fans of each other? Performances are rough! And it helps with my chronic pain, too.Ā
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zaynsalambā:
my plan for the day was to go out and get a workout done, all ready for the weekend and what not. then i accidentally jogged past sweet tooth and they had a new kind of cake and now⦠iām eating cake in the park instead. hm. donāt they say itās the thought that counts? right? right? @townofbayviewā
I mean, you still had to burn off some of the calories it took to get to sweet tooth and then to the park to eat it, so I mean... best of both worlds, technically? Shhh. Nobody has to know about this. Now tell me; what kind of cake was it?
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