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Rewards to help me stay locked in:

139: $20-30 worth of fragrance samples (I have some I really want to try and I’m so desperate to get under 140)

133: cyklar sensorial body wash (hygiene/self care makes me feel in control of my body too. I’ve wanted this one for a long time but it’s expensive and hard to justify)

129: eadem lip balm

126: brandy melville clothes (2/3 shirts and a pair of pants)

Bigger rewards for my actual goal weights, and a smaller one about halfway through

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Trying to hit my gw this month

Reblog if you’re locking in this MAY

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I wish but mine likes me better fat and I hate it so much 😭

want a boyf/girlf who'll support my ed but at the same time...that's mean, why do you want me to starve myself 🤨

so wait- I guess i want a boyf/girlf who supports but doesn't encourage? is that the right way to put it? like, I want them to be entirely chill about the whole situation, but not to the point where they're like "i mean yeah, you could lose a few pounds"

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You won’t remember what you ate today in summer.

I repeat

YOU WILL NOT REMEMBER WHAT YOU ATE TODAY IN SUMMER.

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active 4n4 blogs in february 2025 reblog this , trying to find active moots

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all i want is to lose 12 pounds and reach my first goal weight by Halloween

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just saw these and decided I wanted to do them in October, it’s already 3am on the 3rd but fuck it I’ll do two today n then one a day through the rest of the month

i need to get better ab exercising it’s so hard bc I live with my bf

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me rn acting like this will fix my relationship

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My October weight loss rules

weigh every morning and every night

measure waist in cm every day

track amount of calories and amount burned (including tdee and exercise)

track deficit every day (most important part)

NEVER have a day without a calorie deficit goal 3 lbs a week/1500 deficit try for at least 2 lbs a week/1000 deficit

eat a breakfast with protein every morning to avoid binging besides that, never eat alone unless absolutely necessary

avoid mentioning weight or body

main goal/rule - stay in control of food and my body while avoiding concern

earned a non food reward if i stick to these rules and weigh under 130 at the end of the month (currently 140.8)

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ana in training diet day two

goal: 800

b: skipped

l: skipped

d: blueberries and chocolate - 247

other: 230

total: 477

i'm at 140.2, so close to getting under 140. losing my mind i need to get in the thirtys in the next couple days or i'll go crazy

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ana in training diet day one

limit: 850

breakfast: skipped

lunch: egg+toast - 240

dinner: potato - 220

total: 460

weighed 140.6 this morning. i'm so so close to getting under 140. i've never been this heavy before and im never letting myself get to this point again. i'm restricting as much as i can, i want to make sure i'm under 140 by the end of this week. if i cant do that then idek what i'll do since i'm not able to cut myself anymore. it'll be doable if i can avoid binging. i'm so fucking scared i'll binge

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starting ana in training diet tmrw and i stg if i dont stick with it i'm cutting all the fucking fat off

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day 15

Goal: 700

Breakfast: N/A

Lunch: burger, 2 strawberries, cherries - 328

Dinner: egg + toast - 240

Total: 568

fucked up the last two days but im back on track trying to stay under 700 until i'm at my bfs house again later this week

fucking done with myself gained a pound and i'm back up to 143

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day 12

Goal: 900

Breakfast: N/A

Lunch: chips - 140

Dinner: pickles, frozen fruit - 70

Other: chicken nuggets, chips (was made to eat :((() - 668

Total: 878

i was doing so good until my bf made me eat :( could've had like 250-300 but no :/

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this is what i cant get my bf to understand when he tells me i'm doing good

Why didn’t I take it more seriously all these years? I’m so much older now and I had so so much time to change my ways before I got this big. Why didn’t I?

Now I’m stuck with the consequences. No matter what I do, I’ll never have the body I want.

I could lose 100 lbs and still not be good enough for my own standards because I know it could’ve been better if I just didn’t fuck up all that time.

What could’ve been, I guess.

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day 11

Goal: 900

Breakfast: watermelon + english muffin - 257

Lunch: chicken and watermelon - 431

Dinner: egg and toast - 240

gf lasagna - 250

Total: 1173

i hate myself so much i ate too much again i'm done

but i got so much blood drawn it has to more than make up for it they took like 6-7 vials

also i spent hourssss cleaning and packing to move i felt like i was ab to pass out

tmrw i'll do better i feel really shitty about today but ik i burned more then enough to make up for it. but i can't risk gaining so i'll try to eat less tmrw.