stephensauceda

[stephensauceda]

Sometimes, there isn’t a quick win and you just have to buckle down and do the hard thing.

[stephensauceda]

Love something in your life the way recruiters love your background.

[stephensauceda]

Cold Day in the Sun

Taylor Hawkins has died.

The Foo Fighters have been my favorite band, and Taylor one of my favorite drummers, for more than 20 years.

When I was a kid, the first instrument I learned to play was the drums. It started when my grandparents bought me my first snare drum at an auction. At first, while I showed some promise, I didn’t really have interest in playing music outside of my school band class. That changed as I got older and discovered the Foo Fighters.

Dave Grohl himself is one of the greatest drummers ever. And he chose Taylor to be the drummer in his band. Both of them were a huge influence on me as a player as I got into high school and started jamming in the garage with my friends. Taylor wasn’t just a guy that pounded on drums as hard as he could. He could fit into a song. He made hitting things with sticks musical.

It seemed every band I was into at the time was filled with talented people that couldn’t stand each other. Stone Temple Pilots, Alice In Chains, Soundgarden, etc. I love all of them but they were all broken up for one reason or another (until they each finally suffered losses of their own). The Foo Fighters were different. They were still together. And they were putting out music. Great music. They had their own drama but they came back to each other like real friends and family.

Taylor and Dave seemed to especially share a connection. When Dave was the drummer in Nirvana, everyone only wanted to speak to Kurt in interviews. When Dave did interviews with Taylor, you could tell Dave wanted him involved and gave him space to speak and be a vocal member of the band.

I’ve seen the Foo Fighters live six times. The last time I saw them being their 20th anniversary show at RFK Stadium in Washington, D.C. a few years ago. I don’t know if they’ll survive this. I don’t even know if I want them to. The Foo Fighters isn’t just a band. They’ve been together more than 20 years. Taylor wasn’t just a drummer. He was family. Families aren’t the same after a loss. They go on, sure. But something is always different. If this is the end, it’s been a great run.

RIP Taylor. You’re one of the best.

[stephensauceda]

I Am Everything Right Now

Everything is weird and frightening at the moment. And I'm feeling all of the emotions.

I'm scared. I don't want my family or friends coming down ill. But I see the rate at which this virus spreads and it seems like it's a forgone conclusion that they (and I) will no matter the precautions we take. And I don't know what that will mean for those I care about.

I'm angry. While this virus has spread like crazy everywhere it has popped up, I can't help but feel like we are at a disadvantage due to our current (lack of) leadership. Countries like South Korea seem to be ahead of this thing and in a much different situation than we are. Our healthcare workers not only have to deal with an influx of cases but also a stunning lack of equipment they need to treat patients as well as to protect themselves. People are losing their jobs which means they are losing their health insurance during a public health crisis.

I'm thankful. My family has the unique advantage of my working from home. My wife is working less (she works for a local small business) so she has been home more to help with my daughter who has been home from school. And to help with my daughter's schooling now that that is also being done over the internet. I'm thankful we aren't feeling an economic hit from this situation (yet) and that I work in an industry (the internet) that will likely benefit from millions of people being told to stay inside their homes. I work for a company and team that is great. I've had multiple folks check-in on me, not just for projects, but to see how I am doing and how the family is doing. Everyone knows this is new territory for all of us.

I'm happy. Everyone with whom I'm in regular contact is in good health. My own family is happy. We made it through the first week of social distancing without any major blow-ups. We aren't on each others' nerves (yet). My daughter has taught me to play Pokemon. We've been playing video games together. We've been doing schoolwork. I've been (mostly) keeping up at work. I haven't lost (much) sleep due to worry or anger or anxiety or depression even though it's all there.

I'm hopeful. I have to believe that we'll learn something out of all of this. I have no idea what it is. Hopefully, we can walk away from this (those of us who make it) with a larger sense of community - that we realize we can do more for the people around us (whether that's provide everyone with healthcare or just stay inside when we're asked) - that isolation can bring us closer, not only to the people in our homes, but the people and communities that we've had to be isolated from - that leadership matters, in our country and our homes - that we can still come together in these extraordinary circumstances to solve complex problems.

This whole thing is incredibly difficult to get our heads around. It's confusing, scary, anxiety-inducing, depressing, isolating. I can't imagine what the thousands of those with the virus are going through as well as the millions of people who are dealing with difficult situations because of the economic impact of this thing.

But so far, my family and I are doing alright. I hope you and yours are as well.

[stephensauceda]

Take Your Shots

I wasn't a developer.

I didn't have experience.

I didn't have clients.

I didn't have a degree, much less one tech-related.

I didn't even know JavaScript that well.

Yet, there I was in an interview for a job as a web developer with a company I had no business applying for. They were a division of a large media company. They had real, big clients. And I was looking for a career change.

After I got the email asking to speak for an initial interview, I was sure they'd pass. After I did the initial live-coding challenge I was sure they'd pass (I barely wrote any code - I largely talked about the code I would write but time was up before I got too far along with the actual code). After my second technical interview, I thought they'd pass. After they invited me into the office and I spent nearly half that day speaking with the entire team (including all the non-technical departments), I was sure they'd pass.

But they didn't.

Instead, they offered me my first web development job.I've since moved on but I've been a developer now for over five years, so I suppose it wasn't a fluke.

I have no doubt I benefited from some sort of privilege that likely wouldn't have been afforded to someone else. But I largely believe I put myself in that room to begin with.I was the one who stayed up till 3am every night reading blogs and books and watching screencasts to learn how to build websites after working all day at my job at a call center and taking care of my infant daughter. It was the dopey little side projects that I had put together in my "portfolio" (the dinky single-page site I built that dynamically pulled in my Github repos and Dribbble - lol - shots) that convinced them I could actually be someone worth talking to.

I had applied to other places and been turned down for development jobs. And I thought the application I was submitting that eventually led to my first development job was a joke. These folks were legit and I wasn't. Until I was.

You're better than you think you are.

Take your shots.

You'll make more of them than you think.