sternest - Tumblr blog

[sternest]

[sternest]

thinking about how when you experience a lot of shame in your formative years (indirectly, directly, as abuse or just as an extant part of your environment) it becomes really difficult to be perceived by other people in general. the mere concept of someone watching me do anything, whether it's a totally normal activity or something unfamiliar of embarrassing, whether I'm working in an excel spreadsheet or being horny on main, it just makes my skin crawl and my brain turn to static because I cannot convince myself that it's okay to be seen and experienced. because to exist is to be ashamed and embarrassed of myself, whether I'm failing at something or not, because my instinctive reaction to anyone commenting on ANYTHING I'm doing is to crawl into a hole and die. it's such a bizarre and dehumanizing feeling to just not be able to exist without constantly thinking about how you are being Perceived. ceaseless watcher give me a god damn break.

[sternest]

Endless Fantasy High

[sternest]

I’m at 5 what about you?

[sternest]

[sternest]

[sternest]

Even if I didn’t have a solid plan, in the back of my head, I always assumed I’d kill myself.

Now I’m an adult and people my age have their lives in order and I’m stuck here, confused, because I never planned to be alive and I’m so far behind.

I feel like I’ll never catch up.

[sternest]

https://www.geoguessr.com/vgp/3007

[sternest]

"Red hair and a hand-me-down robe. You must be a Weasley."

Ginny and Ron borrow clothes “handed down” from older siblings

[sternest]

She has so much love to give exclusively to cats 😺

[sternest]

[sternest]

Pride and Prejudice (2005) + tumblr posts (part 1)

[sternest]

Growing up is actually all about realizing people don’t inherently dislike you and it’s a bit odd to assume they do

[sternest]

[sternest]

Halsin joining our camp to see that the guy who played with the tiefling kids is now a devil, some pasty elf is biting people in their sleep, a githyanki and goth girl are slapfighting, there's a tiefling on fire, and that wizard just ate a pair of gloves.

[sternest]

[sternest]

I love how these two are sharing their disappointment

and there is Karlach: