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stiingrayyyy · 2 years

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So Close, yet so Far, B.H

So Close, yet so Far

Pairings — Dead!Ben Hargreeves x GN!Reader

Summery — Ben is dead. Klaus is helping you cope and recover while you go through the five stages of grief.

Warnings — angst(?), swearing, mention of death, tell me if I missed any <3

A/N — Sorry this took a long time, I was on vacation. I’m not really happy with how this turned out, I’m sorry in advance. I used to be good at writing angst but this one isn’t as sad as I hoped it would be. Constructive criticism and feedback are welcomed!

read part one here.

━ FIRST STAGE: DENIAL ━━━━

It’s been two days since Klaus came by and broke the news to you. You thought it was crazy, you’ve been alone with your thoughts for 48 hours and you believed that the druggie was pulling on your leg. You thought he was lying, still pulling some sick joke.

It was midday and you stepped out of your house. The gentle breeze brushed past your hair, leaving you with a subtle shiver. Your head was tilted down, eyes fixated on the pavement two feet ahead of you. The ache in your heart eased, but it wasn’t removed. That ache in your heart would come and go like the tides in the ocean.

You approached the Hargreeves Mansion, hand gripping the bars of the numbing gate. You let yourself in, walking along the pathway before knocking on the doors. You’ve never walked up to the Hargreeves Mansion like this. Ben told you that it was too dangerous, but you needed to see him.

The door swung open, revealing the multi-millionaire and father of seven: Reginald Hargreeves. “Whatever you’re selling, I’m not interested.” He shut the door, only to be stopped by your foot.

“I’m not selling anything. I’m here to see your son.” You meant no harm, you were meek and friendly. “Ben?”

“Number Six is long gone. He’s dead. Scram now, Child.”

“He’s not dead,” you pushed the door open and stepped inside the house. “I’m not leaving until I see Ben. Now, where is he?” Your voice began to rise, growing impatient as each second passed.

“Number Six is dead.” He used his walking stick to hit the wall beside you. “Leave my house and leave my family alone. I don’t know who you are. I would never let some filthy unhygienic teenager see my children. Now leave! Don’t make me have to say it again.”

“I’ll take them out.” A voice rang from the top of the stairs.

Reginald turned around with a confident nod. "See to it that they never return, Number One.”

You furrowed your eyebrows, “fine,” with the roll of your eyes, you spun on your heel. You glared at the old man as you left, the blonde boy following behind you.

“I thought Klaus told you Ben died.” Luther whisper-shouted, as if he’d get in trouble if he were caught.

“They did!” You whispered back, “I don’t believe that piece of shit. I know Ben’s still in there, I need to talk to him!”

“Y/n. You don’t understand,” he stopped walking and grabbed your shoulders. “Ben. Is. Gone.” He didn’t want you to get lost in your head. Your mind was a prison and he had to break you out. “I don’t want to believe it the same as you, but we have to face the truth. He’s dead! Ben is dead! We can’t bring him back, that’s not how life works. I’m sorry, but you need to see it. Just let go.”

“You’re lying. You’re lying. Luther, he’s in the Umbrella Academy for fucks sake!” You pushed him off, “he has powers, he doesn’t just die! He’s too strong for that! Plus, none of you guys would let him die, he’s your brother. I just want to see him, is that too hard to ask?” You held your own hand to try and find some warmth, any form of comfort, you needed to feel something.

“Y/n, that’s not possible.” Luther slowly made his way towards you. “It’s not possible.”

“You don’t understand.” You took a step back, “stay away from me.” You forced your legs to pick up your body weight and turn yourself around. You wasted no time walking away from him. You needed someone, you were self-destructive when you were alone, but you couldn't stand being with someone who kept telling you that your first love was dead.

━ ANGER ━━━━

“Hey, hey, hey. I’m sorry. We did everything we could, I did my best.” Every once in a while, Klaus would drop by to check on you. Ben followed them around, but he couldn’t bring himself to see you, not now, not in the state you were in. Ben couldn’t do anything, he couldn’t take care of you, he couldn’t even talk to you. All he could do was watch like you like the screen of a TV. He could yell, he could cry out and shout, but you’d never be able to hear him.

“It wasn't enough,” you hated seeing him. Klaus and that stupid flask of his. “He’s your brother and you let him die.” If stares could kill, they would be on the floor with blood pooling underneath them. “He’s your brother and you let him die! You’re so fucking useless, Klaus. You know that?” You stood up and laughed, sadness and anger evident from the way you stood. “Maybe if you stopped drinking and actually used your head for once in your pathetic life, he’d still be here!”

“It’s not my fault! I did my best! Is that not enough?” Klaus was doing everything he could. Every time he came by he would bring a basket of snacks, he would make sure you were taking care of yourself and showering. Hell, he's taking better care of you than he does himself. “Cut me some slack, Y/n! I’m going through something! My brother died, my family has been shit, and I can’t even get a good night's sleep! I didn’t even have to come and see you. I’m doing this out of the kindness of my own heart. What more do you want?”

“I want Ben back!” You threw the empty glass of water at the wall directly behind them. “And I didn’t ask you to come and check on me.”

“That’s cold,” with a groan, they stood up, stuffing their flask in the pocket of their shorts as they stood up. “You know, I used to think you were nice.” He knew that you didn’t mean to hurt him. He’s never seen you this worked up before. You were the person who was kind and gentle, the one who wouldn’t hurt a fly. “I’m going to come back tomorrow and I hope that your attitude will change.” He walked to the kitchen and grabbed a dustpan and brush. “If Ben saw you like this, he wouldn’t be happy.”

“Don’t use him against me, Asshole. He’s dead.” You sat back down, “maybe if you and your brain-dead siblings could do better then he wouldn’t be. First Five, now Ben. Jesus Christ, you guys are such a great family. Just letting each other die like that!"

They sighed, carefully cleaning the stray pieces of glass and dumping them in the trash. He had no words left to say. It hurt hearing all of this come from a friend. He thought he’d only hear it from his dad, but you too?

“Take care of yourself,” he walked to the door and slipped into his shoes.

“Says the drug addict. You’re going to drop dead any minute now.”

“Get some sleep, you’re a mess.” With that, he left.

━ BARGAINING ━━━━

“I’m really happy you’re here,” you sat beside Klaus on your couch, head resting on his shoulder. A few days have passed and they haven’t stopped checking up on you. Every time he left, you were alone to ponder your thoughts. You finally realized how ungrateful you were being. “I’m sorry for last week. I didn’t mean to yell at you like that.”

“No, it’s okay.” Klaus sat as still as he could, “you’re going through something. It’s normal for some people to get upset and act different.”

“It’s not okay,” you adjusted your position to look at him. “I was being a complete asshole.”

“Don’t stress about it,” he placed a hand on your head, running his fingers through your hair. “I’m just glad that you’re here.”

You nodded and fell silent. You then readjusted your position again, looking down at your lap. You began to wonder what would’ve happened if you and Ben just stayed friends. Would it hurt less? What if you went on that mission he died on with the rest of the Umbrella Academy? A normal kid with no special abilities, assisting the Umbrella Academy with whatever mission they were on.

“Klaus?”

“Hm?”

“I wish I was like you.”

They stiffened, sitting up straight as they turned to look at you. “What?”

“Seeing the dead.” You looked back at him.

“Oh no. No, no, no. Y/n you seriously don’t want that. trust me.” He brushed the hair out of your face the way Ben used to. “You don’t want to be like me.” He began to laugh softly, shaking his head. He doesn’t want anyone to experience the misery and trauma he endured as a kid.

You shook your head, “but, Klaus! If I had your powers I could see him. You know I’d do anything to see him. Just once.”

“Even if you could see him, you wouldn't be able to touch him. You can’t hug him. Won’t it hurt if you can see him but can’t… y’know cuddle and shit?”

You shook your head, “it’s better than nothing.”

“Y/n, listen to me.” Klaus moved his body to face you, holding your shoulders in his hands. “I’m the expert here, okay? I know you miss him, I know you want to see him, I know you want to talk to him. But does it occur to you that you should… move on?”

“Move on?” You slapped their hands away. “You don’t know what you’re saying. I can’t just move on!”

“But you can’t sit here and dwell either! It hurts me seeing you like this. When’s the last time you even showered?” Your lack of response proved their point. “I’m worried about you.”

You fixed your posture and sat straight. “I’m sorry.” You were so egocentric, you were never self-centered, but these past few weeks you’ve been disregarding everyone.

“I’m sorry too. I could’ve been a better brother to Ben, a better friend to you. But I’m always selfish, I’ll be honest.” They tried to lighten up the mood by making you feel less bad.

“You’re a good friend. I only wish that things were different. That maybe your powers could… I don’t know, make Ben visible to others. If that’s even possible,” you felt as though you were speaking nonsense. “But it’s fine, you are the expert after all. I don’t know anything.” You nuzzled closer to them again. “I’d give the world to see Ben again.” You weren't sure of many things, like what to eat for breakfast or if you should take a shower, but you would do whatever it takes to see Ben.

━ DEPRESSION ━━━━

Ben came to see you. Every time Klaus went out to party he would go to your house and sit with you. You wouldn’t even know he was there, you never acknowledged his existence, but he was okay with it. He was lucky. He could at least still be in the same room as you.

“That looks nice,” he said. He sat on your bed while he watched you paint at your desk. When Ben’s room was emptied, Klaus put all of his stuff in boxes and gave them to you. All of Ben’s clothes and art supplies… even though you weren’t much of an artist.

Various blues and purples were scattered on the canvas, with black to represent the clouds in the sky and a leafless tree on a small hill. “Fuck,” with one swift movement, you chucked the paintbrush at the floor. It was the little things that ticked you off. You were going to add the stars to the painting but you accidentally used the paintbrush for the black paint and mixed it with the soft white. You didn’t notice until the bristles touched the canvas and it was the final straw. You weren’t a painter and you did everything you could to make the painting perfect, only to ruin it.

“Piece of shit!” Your arms swept along the desk and the small cup of water shattered on the wooden floors while the canvas stained the wall. You knew better than to get mad, but everything made it feel like you were getting dragged to the bottom of the ocean. You were suffocating in your thoughts, the weight of your sorrow kept piling up like a load of bricks, dragging you deeper and deeper into the water. It was like there was no escape. Missing him came in waves, and tonight you were drowning.

“Please take care of yourself,” Ben kept talking like you could hear him. It brought him comfort even though there was no response back. Sometimes he kept talking because he held onto the smallest sliver of hope that you could hear him. “You’re everywhere except here.” He placed a hand over his heart, “and it really hurts.” He stood up and walked over to where you placed your head on your desk, arms wrapped around your head to cover your face. “So close yet so far.” He reached out to move strands of hair away, but the infamous blue light radiated from his fingertips as his hand passed through you.

You wished that things were different. You wanted to greet Ben with a happy birthday when he turned eighteen. You wanted to sit on the rooftop of the tallest building in the city again. You wanted to cling onto him, adrenaline rushing through your veins as he brought you down the building. You’d kill for another date a Griddy’s Doughnuts, talking endlessly until the store closed. But instead, you were left alone in your room, the window open and a trashed-up room.

“You should eat something,” Ben took a seat in the corner of your room. He looked at your body, it was different from how he remembered. It was slimmer, weaker, paler. When was the last time you went outside? “I could prepare something for you. Like… pasta or something. Maybe ramen?” He chuckled, “no, something healthy. I’ll chop up some vegetables and make a salad. Cook some rice and fry some eggs, even though eggs at night are weird... but if I could, I would.”

He watched you sit up, muttering profanities under your breath as you reached for a piece of paper and pencil. You flattened the lined paper on your desk and tilted the lamp on your desk. That small lamp was the only source of light in the room other than the subtle moonlight coming from your window.

‘Dear Ben,’

You had a pile of letters in your bedside drawer. A pile of letters that you’d never send because Ben was gone.

‘Dear Ben, Today was not a good day.’

He stood up and watched you write. He wanted to hear what you had to say, even if it was a rant. You wrote to let your emotions out, a healthy way of coping rather than something stupid.

‘Dear Ben, Today was not a good day. My dad is overworking himself and my mom’s expectations for me are too high. She thinks I’m okay now, but everything is so hard. She thinks I’m still getting good grades at school. She thinks I’m still waking up early and getting up early. Jesus, she has no idea. If she knows why I’m sad she’ll just tell me to get over it and don’t dwell. She did that before, she told me that I should at least be grateful that it happened because you made me happy. She’s right, but she doesn’t understand.

I go to bed thinking about you every night. You don’t understand how special you made me feel, even though I never got to wake up with you by my side. You were a comet and I lost it. You came and went like a shooting star, staying long enough to make me feel lucky before suddenly leaving. Will I ever see you again? Fuck, how can I breathe with this burning in my chest? You were gone so fast. I want you back. All of the memories we made are slipping through the past like an hourglass. I guess we don’t get to do all the things we said we would, huh?

Time passes by really fast. I never thought I’d wind up one step behind in my life. I’m just wasting it away sitting here and dwelling. Tomorrow is going to be a better day. I’m going to live a little harder and make every minute last longer. I don’t know how much time I’ll have, but I’ll live life for the both of us.

Still thinking about you. I love you, Ben. Love, Y/n.’

Ben smiled in the end, “you’re getting better.” His eyes scanned the page once more, stopping at the last sentence. He loved the way your handwriting spelled out his name. “I’m proud of you.” He kissed his hand, then held it out to touch your cheek. “Get some sleep, Sweetheart. You need it.” Ben stayed until you settled in and fell asleep, sitting on a chair by the side of your bed.

━ ACCEPTANCE ━━━━

“You look amazing,” Klaus stood behind you, hands on your shoulder while he looked into the full-length mirror in front of you two, “absolutely stunning.”

“Oh shucks,” you brushed their hands off your shoulders and flopped onto his bed. “I don’t have a good feeling about this, Klaus.”

“Come onnn. You gotta live a bit more. Loosen up!” They grabbed your hands and began dancing around the room.

“Ben doesn’t like parties.” You followed his lead. The dance was fast-paced and messy, it had no proper foot movement. “Is he here right now?”

“Hey, we talked about this.” Klaus planted his feet and ruffled up your hair. “He walked to the light. He claimed his spot in heaven. That lucky bastard, he has no responsibilities anymore.”

You chuckled, “I guess so. No responsibilities sound amazing. Adulthood is overrated.” You laughed, moving the messed-up strands of hair out of your face. “A part of me just hopes that… he’s still around, y'know? I just need to let go.”

“And that’s why we are going to party!” He took a dramatic step back and grabbed his coat. “Come on.” He held his hand out.

You took his hand, nuzzling into the scarf that wrapped around your neck to keep you warm as you walked to whoever’s house this party was being held at.

“Bullshit,” Ben muttered under his breath. He made eye contact with his brother from the other side of the room before the two walked out the door.

tags: @xenijk @vivsmcdo @ddeonubaby @khaylin

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stiingrayyyy · 2 years

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Just You and Me, B.H.

Just You and Me

Pairings — Ben Hargreeves x GN!Reader

Summary — Ben didn’t know how long he had left to live, he didn’t get to say everything he wanted to tell you.

Warnings — swearing, mild angst towards the end, mention of death, tell me if I missed any <3

A/N — this is my first official post on tumblr! I’m sorry to the ones who wanted the heavy angst but that’s not until part two (if you want a second part). This is a different writing style than what I’m used to, please give any constructive criticism. Y/n’s pronouns are they/them and Klaus’s pronouns are he/they.

Being Reginald Hargreeves's child isn't easy. Constant training, missions left and right, it all seems endless and you'd never have a normal childhood. His children have several ways of coping.

Klaus sneaks out of the house to go to parties, intoxicating himself with liquor and weed.

Luther and Allison spend too much time together to forget and run away from responsibilities.

Viktor plays violin because he was convinced he was ordinary, powerless, and different from his siblings. This made him question why Reginald had him to begin with.

Diego distracted himself with anything he could. He would go out and look for conflict just so he could end it and save the day. He needed action, he needed something to keep his mind racing so he won't worry about his home and relationship with his father. He needed praise to feel validated, some would say he has and is experiencing some sort of hero syndrome.

Ben? He loved to paint and sketch. He would lock himself in his room for hours just to be alone to create art. There were papers taped to the wall, canvases hung from several of his works.

"I don't understand the craze with glazed donuts. I really don't." Klaus bit into a fresh jelly donut, rolling his eyes back as he savoured the flavour that exploded into his mouth.

The children escaped again.

They snuck out to have donuts and coffee. It was tradition, and somehow they get away with it. Every 12th of the month at 10:00pm they would leave the house and walk to Griddy's Doughnuts.

"Glazed donuts are amazing. They're simple yet sweet," Ben defended his regular order, taking small bites to properly enjoy the donut while he watched Klaus finish his in two bites.

"That's disgusting." Allison laughed, eying her sibling.

"What's wrong with it?" Klaus licked their fingers, downing their cup of coffee all in one. "It's less messy that way."

"No, it isn't!"

Ben began to slowly drown out the sounds of his siblings arguing. His attention made its way across the cafe, his gaze falling upon a teenager who sat alone at a booth. He could've sworn he's seen them before, he could've sworn they met, but at the same time, he knew for a fact that this was his first time laying his eyes on you.

"..Ben? Ben? Earth to Benerrino!" Klaus waved their hand in front of him and he finally snapped out of it when you looked back at him.

"Sorry?" Ben blinked a few times, looking at his sibling as he held his cup of tea in both his hands.

Klaus raised an eyebrow, looking back to see what Ben had been staring at. A smile was brought to his face when he turned back to look at Ben, eyes going wide. "Ben! You think that person is cute, right?"

"Shh! Shh!" Ben clasped a hand over their mouth, glancing over at the teenager to see if they heard.

And sure enough, you did.

"I'm flattered." You said, earning the attention of all six Hargreeves siblings. "Thanks, Ben."

Number Six seemed to stop working for a moment. His eyes widened as he stared at you in shock, face covered with a cherry red hue. "Y-Yeah. Yeah, you— yeah." He smiled and nodded, sipping from his cup as he turned away.

"Bennerino~" Klaus gave his brother a wink, sticking his tongue out as he paid for his snacks.

"Klaus!" Ben whisper-shouted, giving them a death glare as he finished his cup of tea. One after the other, each sibling finished, paid, and walked back home.

Ben couldn't help but spare a glance, looking back at you as he and his siblings exited the shop.

When he looked back at the path in front of him, he caught Klaus's stare in his peripheral vision. He gave them a scoff, rolling his eyes as he stuffed his hands in the pockets of his leather jacket, darting away before Klaus could annoy him with their bickering.

— ( ☂︎ ) —

Being Reginald Hargreeves's child isn't easy. Constant training, missions left and right, it all seems endless and you'd never have a normal childhood. His children have several ways of coping.

Klaus sneaks out of the house and attends teenage parties while doping and drinking himself silly.

Allison and Luther spend inordinate amounts of time together letting their responsibilities slip their minds.

Viktor plays the violin because he believes he is unexceptional, weak, and distinct from his siblings. He knows he's different and every day he asks himself why Reginald chose to keep him, or why Reginald even took him in the first place if all Viktor ever got was neglect.

Diego tries to divert his attention from his family life in every way he can. He needs action to keep his mind active. He needs validation to keep going. He needs to be seen as a hero.

Ben creates art.

Ever since that day at the cafe, you didn’t leave his mind. He dedicated his free time to a new work of art. The inspiration was you.

His delicate fingers held the piece of charcoal in a gentle, yet firm grip. With every stroke, a distinct mark was left behind. He made each line unique from the one previously. His movements were smooth, not a muscle was tensed.

When he finished, he took a deep breath. The fresh oxygen from his open window filled his lungs before escaping his lips, dusting off the excess charcoal on the page. Ben smiled at his piece, gliding the tip of his index finger along the jawline of the teenager on the paper.

It was you, the one from the cafe.

He looked out the window. He watched as the sun painted the molten sky with various reds and oranges along with dashes of purple and pink. It was a work of art within itself.

He glanced over to the clock on his wall, then back out the window. He carefully rolled the drawing in his hands, stepping outside of the window and using his tentacles to make his way down onto the grass.

He looked behind himself, searching for any sign of life through the windows of the Hargreeves Mansion. When it was clear, he ran out of the gate.

Ben sat at Griddy's Doughnuts, a cup of tea placed in both his hands while a glazed donut sat in front of him on a ceramic plate.

"You're alone?"

Ben snapped out of his thoughts, looking at the owner of the voice.

"Yeah," he responded.

Agnus knew the Hargeeeves siblings would always come in packs, she found it strange how there was only one of them at the counter. "Are you okay? Did something happen?"

Ben smiled. "Nothing bad, no. Thank you for asking, though." He hadn't remembered the last time someone asked him if he was okay and meant it. The question was simple, but hearing the sincerity behind it was enough to make him smile.

He sat there and waited. The drawing was by the plate, and he began to ponder; he began to overthink. He hadn't talked to you and he already drew you. He didn't have bad intentions, but he didn't want it to come off as creepy. He began to have second thoughts, like he was doing something wrong.

Ben finished up his tea and donut. He grabbed the drawing and placed some coins on the table before leaving the cafe. His head was down, almost ashamed even though he did nothing wrong. He pushed the door open and collided with someone.

He gasped and dropped the piece of paper and watched it fly away in the subtle breeze. Before he got to react, someone grabbed it. He looked at the person and froze.

"Sorry, I wasn't looking where I was going." You sheepishly smiled. The paper was unrolled you looked at it.

"I am so sorry." Ben bowed down to show respect. "I know it might be creepy but I promise I'm not a creep. I mean no harm, I just- I just thought that you were—"

"Cute?" You recalled what Klaus called you.

Ben stood up straight, looking at you with cherry-stained cheeks. He said nothing, not denying nor confirming the assumption.

"That's what your brother said last week." You scanned the piece of art, a 'wow' falling under your breath before you handed it back. "You're talented. I can't even draw a straight stick figure. I envy you."

"You? You envy... me?"

"Yes."

"You don't think I was being creepy?"

"No, not at all."

"Are you sure?"

"Stop overthinking it, Ben." You took a step towards the door of the cafe. "I hope to see you around more often."

Ben stilled as the corners of his lips formed a smile. He nodded, then his expression dropped, watching you walk into the shop. "Wait! What's your—"

"Y/n."

Ben paused, "Y/n?"

"That's my name."

The smile returned to his face, "thank you."

You waved, finally walking through the doors and sitting at his usual spot by the window. You looked at Ben, an instant smile lit up your face when he looked back. You held a hand up and waved, earning a rather excited wave back. You began to wonder if you would ever get a moment with Ben, even if it was just to sit together and have coffee; as friends. "There's nothing wrong with having a glazed donut."

— ( ☂︎ ) —

"See, Klaus? Even Y/n agrees that glazed donuts are amazing." Ben defended his favourite treat, biting out of the freshly glazed donut.

"I said there's nothing wrong with a glazed donut. I didn't say they were amazing." It didn't take long for you to get along with the Hargreeves siblings. Especially when Klaus kept nagging Ben to invite you.

"Ha! Y/n agrees with me!" Klaus slammed his hand against the table.

"Hey, woah, woah. I didn't say that either!" You laughed along with the others, heart filled with joy and happiness. You didn’t remember the last time you hung out with other teenagers and felt like you belonged.

"Guys, we should head out." Allison said, "it's getting late. Ben hurry up, it's two more bites. Today is on me." She pulled her wallet out.

"I can pay for my own. Thank you, though, Allison." You only had a chocolate donut. You were smart enough not to have caffeine pumping in your veins before bed.

"You guys can go out, I'll meet you there." Ben looked at you, then Klaus. Klaus smirked back, to the point where their ears began to lift.

You thought you were included in the 'you guys', so you shuffled around to get your wallet back in your pocket. Ben noticed this and quickly took your wrist.

"Not you." He spoke firmer than he intended, "please." His voice softened as he let go of your wrist, bashfully looking at the bottom of his glass while he took another bite of his donut.

You locked eyes with him, then you fell silent, sitting back down with cheeks tinted pink. “Why me?”

Ben turned away again, it was just his timid nature, this boy can never keep eye contact for too long without freaking out. “I was wondering… maybe on Friday we could meet up again?”

“This Friday? I thought Luther had something important coming up. His personal training with your father? That poor guy is going to overwork himself all day…” you looked out the window to look at the Umbrella Academy’s number one. “So we’re just gonna leave him out? If he finds out he’ll be heartbroken.”

“No, uhm…” Ben tapped the edge of his cup. “I was actually hoping it would be us? Just you and me.”

“Just you and me?” Your eyes seemed to light up the second he spoke. The most foolish smile crawled onto your face as you nodded. “Yeah.”

“Yes?”

“Yes.” You nodded, “I would love that. Just you and me.”

Ben’s heart beat out of his chest. Oh, he was such a loser in love. He nodded frantically, finishing the rest of his donut quickly. He covered his mouth as he chewed, shy and polite. He then made his way outside.

“Ready?” Allison motioned for the others to follow her as Luther walked by her side, leading the siblings back to the mansion.

“I’ll see you! Friday at noon!” Ben walked with his siblings with a hand in his pocket, the other one waving goodbye.

“Friday! Noon!” You carried through with his energy and waved back. Then you turned on your heel and went home.

— ( ☂︎ ) —

“You’re not going to get in trouble, will you?” Your cup of coffee was finished about an hour ago. An hour ago was also when you and Ben agreed to go back home and call it a day. You didn’t even recall how the conversation kept going, but it did.

“I should be fine,” Ben glanced at the clock, then back at his empty plate that once had two donuts on it. His signature glazed donut and your vanilla-sprinkled one. You got a different donut each time you came. “Thank you for coming with me today.” Words couldn’t express his gratitude, “I’m not saying that I don’t like coming here with my siblings, it’s just… good to have a real friend.”

Your heart warmed at his words, “thank you for asking me out, Ben.” You placed a hand atop his. “I really enjoyed spending time together; just you and me.”

“Do you think…” he began, “..we can see each other again? Only if you want to, that is. There’s no shame in rejecting, I don’t want you to feel obliged to say yes or anything—“

“Yes.” You said with confidence, laughing at the way he began to ramble. “I’d love to, Ben.” You gently gripped his hand, “the second date is always better than the first.”

“Yeah,” he nodded, mind empty. All he focused on was the way you hand your hand placed on his. As seconds passed, the words finally registered. “Wait, second date? This— th-this was a date?”

You instantly took your hand away, “that was my impression. I’m so sorry if I assumed wrong. I should’ve asked.” You felt foolish. You felt as though you were making bold assumptions and you read him wrong. Your ego was making the decisions. “That’s embarrassing.” You laughed it off.

“No, no! There’s nothing wrong with this being a date!” Ben grabbed both of your hands, holding them with a delicate grip. “It actually makes all of this ten times better.”

“Really?” A wave of relief washed over you as you emitted a soft sigh. “I don’t want you to feel like you have to lie to spare my feelings. I was getting a bit too ahead of myself.”

“I’m not lying,” he brushed his thumb over the back of your hand. “I mean every word.”

Butterflies swarmed in your stomach. Never once has anyone made you feel this weak in the knees. “Thank you, Ben.”

“Just know that I would never lie to you. Ever,” he moved his hand, linking his pinky with yours as if he was a seven-year-old boy. “Promise.”

The gesture was so small, so childish, “alright, then.” But this pinky promise held a special place in your heart. “Promise.”

— ( ☂︎ ) —

“Can we just stay like this?” He sat beside you on top of a building with the city beneath you. “It’s so much better up here.”

“Don’t you have a training session with your father?” You looked at him, “and you can’t miss it because that’s how you’re supposed to spend the rest of your day?”

Ben didn’t return your gaze, he just looked down at his lap with his legs swinging back and forth on the edge, “..yeah.”

“And if you don’t show up, you’ll get in trouble and he’ll get mad.”

“I know,” his voice was barely over a whisper.

“So… you should go back. I don’t want you to get in trouble with your father.” You carefully took his face in your hand, tipping his head up to look at you. “It’s okay, Ben. I’ll be fine. You can go.”

“It’s just—“ Ben sighed, shuffling around to get comfortable now that he was facing you. “I don’t want to go. If I do, he’s going to make me kill again.”

“Kill?”

He nodded, “and I don’t want to keep doing it.”

You were at loss for words. You couldn’t tell him to ‘not go’, it was his father and he couldn’t just avoid him. You noticed how he began to tremble, his hands shook along with his quivering lip. “Ben.” You held his hands, “you can drop by my place after.”

“It’s going to be late. Your parents won’t notice?” His voice rose in volume, “I-I don’t want to get you in trouble. It’s an inconvenience. It’s fine, I’ll just see you next week. It’s fine, I’ll be fine.”

“I’ll keep my window open for you.”

“No, no. You don’t have to do that. I told you, I’ll be fine.”

“If you say so,” you rubbed your thumb over the top of his hand. “I’m still going to keep it open. Just in case.”

How did he get so lucky? If someone told him one month ago that he’d make a friend that cared about him as a person rather than a member of the Umbrella Academy, he wouldn’t believe you.

“Okay,” he shot you a smile.

That smile never failed to warm your heart. “Now get us down, Benny Boy.”

He slithered his arm around your waist and you secured your hands on his shoulders. Tentacles sprouted from his back and he safely took you down the building.

“I’ve got you,” he noticed how you held onto him with a deathly grip. “I’m not gonna let you go.”

“You better not,” you laughed, burying your face into the crook of his neck with closed eyes. You took a deep breath, taking in the comforting scent that lingered in his skin and clothing.

When he made it to the ground, he ran his fingers through your hair. “You can let go now.��

You reopened your eyes, looking at the boy. The proximity was close, breathtaking. “What if I don’t want to?” You thought out loud, realizing only when his tanned cheeks tinted red.

“Then that wouldn’t be so bad, would it?” You could feel his subtle breath on your skin.

You moved a hand from his shoulder to his chest, “your heart is beating a mile a minute.” You teased.

“Who’s fault is that?” He teased you back, leaning in closer. His eyes fixated on your lips for no more than a ninth of a second before looking back at your eyes.

“Mine,” you admitted with no shame. With every passing second, Ben inched closer to your face. You looked at his lips, then his eyes as you leaned closer to him.

“I’ve never done this before,” he whispered.

“Neither have I.” You matched his tone..

“May I?”

“May you, what?” You teased him once again.

Ben paused, his breath trembled and you felt it. “May I kiss you?”

“You may.”

“Ben!” The boy was taken away from your grasp. “Dad’s been looking for you! He’s not in the best mood today, Benerrino. You know to never keep the old man waiting!”

You couldn’t even say anything, Klaus had already run off with their brother. The only thing you got was Ben’s glance back. He looked as if he was apologizing with his eyes, a deep frown engraved on his face.

“Klaus!” Ben ripped his wrist out of their grip.

“You know how strict dad is. I don’t want him to get mad at you.” He looked back, he saw you turn and walk away. “Oh shit.” He whispered under his breath, “Ben, I’m so sorry.”

“It’s fine.” His tone was sharp enough to kill. “Let’s just go see dad.”

— ( ☂︎ ) —

You haven’t left your room since you arrived home. You were still salty about the episode earlier with Ben and Klaus. You kept your word and left the window open in case Ben dropped by, but time was ticking.

11:11pm.

Curfew at the Umbrella Academy was two hours ago, so you assumed that Ben wasn’t coming. You swung your legs off the edge of your bed and slowly made your way towards the window.

“Y/n?”

“Ben?” You called out, moving your curtains out of the way. “Holy shit,” you held your hand out and helped him inside. “Careful, don’t sit on the bed.” You kept your voice in a low whisper.

He didn’t speak, he only nodded.

You rushed out of your room to grab a cloth then pulled the wooden chair from your desk when you got back. “Sit here, it’s okay. Just relax.”

“How do you expect me to relax?” His voice instantly broke as tears pooled at the bottom of his eyes. “I’ve been trying to relax, for- for the past two hours!” He was careful not to raise his voice too much.

“Are you hurt?“ You used the cloth to wipe the blood off his hands.

He shook his head.

“Did he hurt you?”

“Not physically.”

“Are you… okay?”

He shook his head, “not emotionally.”

Silence lingered in the air as you washed the blood off his skin. When you finished with his hands you went to his neck, then his face. You stopped for a moment, taking this time to cup his cheek. Ben leaned into your touch, shutting his eyes and placed a hand on top of yours. Tears silently trickled down his cheeks as he took in the comfort of your hand. You began to gently wipe the damp cloth over his blood-stained cheeks.

“Do you think I’m a monster?” He looked at you.

“No,” you stated with confidence, “no you’re not. You’re no monster. It’s not your fault. Your dad made you do it, you didn’t have a choice.” You reassured him the best you could. You’re okay now. You’re safe here.” You whispered sweet affirmations. “Thank you for choosing me, tonight.” When you finished, you placed the cloth on your desk. “I’m glad that you’re here with me, Ben.”

“Me too,” he moved away from your hand and stood up. His eyes didn’t leave yours, not once. “Can I have a hug?” A sob slipped past his lips with his words. You didn’t say anything, instantly leaning into his chest and wrapping your arms around him. He began to cry as he returned the embrace, crumpling your shirt up in his hands.

“I’m here, Ben. I’m not going anywhere.”

“You make me feel safe.” He whispered into your hair, “when I’m with you, the rest of the world melts away. Like nothing else matters but you and me.”

Those butterflies came back. They fluttered in your tummy with excitement and wonder.

“Hey, Y/n?”

“Yes?” You pulled away from the embrace but kept your hands on either side of Ben’s body. You didn’t want to let go of him, not yet.

“I’m really happy that you’re in my life.” He brushed a few strands of hair out of your face. “Being with you makes me feel stronger, and I wish you could see yourself the way I do. Because I can’t think of any word that comes close to the way you make me feel.”

You were at loss for words. You wanted nothing more than to hold him in your arms and keep him safe, away from his stupid excuse for a father. “I don’t know what to say.”

“It’s okay,” his hand rubbed your side. “You don’t have to say anything.” He looked at your lips, “you’re perfect.” His stare dallied before darting up into your eyes. “May I?”

“Yes,” you closed the gap, wrapping your arms around his neck as he engulfed your body with ease. In that moment, it was as if the world stopped spinning; like nothing else in the world mattered.

The kiss lingered, and Ben began to move his lips, slowly running his hands down your body. He held your hips in a soft grasp. Then he finally parted.

“Ben…” his name rolled off your tongue like a melody. You leaned in for another kiss, pushing him down on your mattress. He didn’t have time to react, toppling over with a giggle. “Please stay,” you gasped for air.

“Stay?” He kicked his shoes off and got comfortable on the bed, “are you sure about this?”

“Yes,” you gave him an extra pillow and laid next to him. “I want you to stay.” You snuggled up next to him.

“Hey, Y/n?”

“Mhm?”

“Can I be your boyfriend?”

Your smile lit up the dim room, “yes.” You gave him one last peck on the lips before closing your eyes to fall asleep. There was nothing more comforting than the feeling of his arms around your body, his hand running through your hair as you fall asleep.

But the next day when you awoke, he was gone.

— ( ☂︎ ) —

“Will you stay this time?” You asked for the millionth time as you laid on your boyfriend’s chest, taking a slow and deep breath as you shuffled around to get comfortable. “I want to wake up beside you this time.” The sleepiness was slowly taking over you.

“I’m sorry I didn’t stay,” Ben whispered, “I couldn’t risk my dad catching me out. It was only recently he stopped putting cameras in our rooms, if even one of us gets caught, all of us are busted.” He was truly sorry. He wanted to wake up by your side. He wanted to wake up with you in his arms. But he couldn’t risk getting his siblings in trouble.

“Cameras in your room?” Your voice was groggy, you didn’t even pay attention to what he said, you stopped processing what he said after ‘cameras in our rooms’. “That’s messed up,” your words were slurring together.

“Sleepyhead, just close your eyes and rest. You need it.”

“Mnn…”

The sound of your gentle snores filled the darkened room. He fixed his position, looking down at you while keeping you secure in his arms. His lips formed a frown as he moved bits of your hair out of your face. He planted a delicate kiss on your forehead, sighing deeply, “God, I love you…” if he got caught, his father would be furious. He knows that he’d be forbidden from seeing you, and he didn’t want to risk it. He got himself in a mess, a lovely, wonderful mess. Things would be so much easier if he didn’t love you, but he didn’t regret a single thing. He’d choose you over his father in a heartbeat.

12:00am.

He needed to get home, so he did. He carefully placed you down on the bed, properly bringing your blanket to your chin. “I’m sorry, Sweetheart.” He whispered, pressing another kiss on your forehead. “I have to go.” He spoke as though you were awake though you were fast asleep. He walked towards the window, watching as you got comfortable in your slumber. He stood by the window and stared at you. He didn’t move, he didn’t turn away, he just stared at you with pure love. You were the first to treat him right, the first to take care of him out of the kindness of your own heart, the first to truly love him, yet he always left before the morning. Not once have you woken up to him by your side. Did he deserve you.

— ( ☂︎ ) —

“Ben?” You approached him and he and his siblings walked out of Griddy’s Doughnuts. It was their monthly sneak-out plan and for the first time in seven months, you didn’t tag along. “Sorry to bother you, I was going to the library, and… this was close by.”

“Going to the library? This late at night?” His eyes went wide, “it’s dangerous. You don’t know what kind of creeps are out there.”

“I’m fine, Ben. Really, I–”

“Ben, let’s go,” Luther called out.

“I need to go.” He made his way past you, but you grabbed his wrist. He turned to face you, effortlessly prying himself from your grasp.

“Can we go out on Sunday? Nothing fancy, just here.” You looked at the donut shop. “Griddy’s Doughnuts. You get the glazed donut and I’ll get the one with sprinkles?”

He squinted as he listened to you. You were being oddly specific, and it worried him. “No, sorry, I’m busy this Sunday.”

“How about Tuesday?”

“Ben! Let’s go!” Allison shouted.

“I need to go,” Ben took a few steps away from you. “I’m sorry. I’ll see you around.”

“I’ll see you–” midsentence and he was running off. “...around.” You ended up going on Wednesday, but not to Griddy’s Doughnuts. Instead you and Ben crashed in your room for the day. The second he stepped through the front door, the atmosphere changed. You didn’t know what it is, but it was heavier. It was mildly uncomfortable and you could tell Ben felt it too.

“You should go home.” Now you were laying on his chest like you always did whenever he came. You two snuggled up with each other whenever the sun began to set, that hasn’t changed. But today is different: the elephant in the room didn’t want to leave.

“It’s nine. A little early for me to leave, don’t you think?” He muttered into your hair. “Let me stay.” He remembered how you used to always ask him to stay, and now you were the one pushing him away.

You shrugged, “I’m feeling tired. I’m going to sleep early tonight.”

“I’ll stay until you fall asleep,” he brushed the back of his hand on your cheek before holding it.

“You never stay, anyways. It’s fine. Just go.” You moved away from his touch.

That was a first.

“What’s wrong?” Something was in the air before, he knew something was wrong, he knew you knew something was wrong. He acted on it first.

“Nothing.” You dismissed it.

“Y/n, you know you can talk to me.”

You shook your head, pursing your lips as you felt the tears begin to form in your eyes. “We barely see each other anymore,” you muttered, “when we do it’s… awkward. It’s not the same as before.”

“Yeah, I’m sorry.” He shut his eyes, sighing heavily. “I should’ve talked to you earlier. Shutting you out probably wasn’t the best idea.”

“What’s going on, Benny Boy?”

“Us being together… is risky. Especially with my strict dad and all. I feel like I should’ve thought about that before foolishly asking you out.” He couldn’t bear to look at you.

“What are you…” your voice trailed off into utter silence. You looked at him, desperately wanting to meet his gaze. “...what are you implying?” The second those words left your mouth, you wished they didn’t.

“I love you,” Ben began. “I may be seventeen, I may be young, and people say kids like us don’t know what love is. But I know that I really, really love you. You’re the first to see me as who I am. Not just some boy with powers, not the boy in the Umbrella Academy, not Number Six, but you see me as Ben.” He glanced down at you for a moment, but he couldn’t stand that mere second of your pained expression. “I love you, Y/n,” he caressed your arm with his hand, “but if my dad finds out we’re together, he’ll stop us from seeing each other. I’m mistreating you, we don’t see each other as often as we used to because I’m playing it safe. It’s unfair, and you deserve better.”

“Ben, I can wait. I can wait as long as I need to. It’s okay. I don’t mind, I know you’re busy,” you sat up straight, hand gripping his bicep. “I can wait.”

“I don’t want to do this, but it’s better for us to take a break.” His heart sank the moment he finished, finally looking at you. “I’ll come back. When I’m eighteen I can get a bit more freedom. Then we can start seeing each other again.”

You turned away when he looked at you, shaking your head slowly as tears fell from your eyes. You didn’t want this, but you were mature enough to know that he was right. He was in the Umbrella Academy, he has powers, and he isn’t a normal kid. He’s different and you recognized that. You just wished that things were different.

“So… until you’re eighteen, we can’t talk?”

“I didn’t say that,” Ben reassured you, keeping you close. He didn’t want to let go. He felt that if he did, then he’d lose you for good. “I’ll still come by and visit. You can come to Griddy’s Doughnuts with me and my siblings. I’m still going to be here.” He pulled you for a quick yet passionate kiss. “I’m still going to be here, I promise.”

“You better be,” you laughed off your sadness, wiping the tears off your cheeks. “Just stay until I fall asleep. You can go home after.” You closed your eyes and snuggled up to his body warmth. “I love you, Ben.”

“I love you too,” he took slow deep breaths, adjusting his posture for better comfort as he held you.

— ( ☂︎ ) —

You haven’t seen him in two weeks. Not a word from Ben. You kept your window ajar and the lock flipped up. You gave him opportunities to see you, but he hadn’t taken any of them yet. You tried to understand, but you didn’t expect any of this to happen. He promised he’d still be there, but you hadn’t seen him. The two weeks stretched out to three and three turned into four. You showed up at Griddy’s Doughnuts from time to time, and there was no sign of him. You gave up. You didn’t want to wait any longer. He left and didn’t have the heart to properly break it off so instead, he gave you false hope.

That was until October 1st rolled around. You spent the day off at home alone. Your parents were working, busy with their jobs. It was like any regular old day.

Or so you thought.

The knock from your front door bounced off the walls. This day was the last and only day that you had hopes for.

Today was the day Ben turned eighteen.

You rushed to the front door, swinging it open with a smile, “hey, Klaus! Happy birthday!” You stepped out and looked left and right. “Is Ben with you?”

“Not exactly,” Klaus rocked back and forth between his heels and toes. “Can I come in?”

“Yes, of course. Come on.” You ushered them inside, “where’s Ben?”

“Uh…” he took a seat on the couch, motioning for you to sit across from him. “It’s kind of complicated.” He took a heavy breath, scratching the back of his neck as he tried to find his words.

“Just spit it out already,” Ben said, leaning against the wall behind you.

Klaus glared at him.

“Something wrong?” You noticed his facial expression change, looking behind you before back at them.

“No, no, it’s all good. All good,” he leaned back, sighing once more. The atmosphere was dense, he kept looking back and forth between you two.

“Klaus!” Ben was getting impatient.

“Okay! Okay!” Klaus sat up straight then leaned forward, elbows resting on his knees. “Ben wanted to tell you that he’s sorry that he didn’t spend as much time with you as he promised.”

“Ben said that?” You leaned back, arms crossed over your chest. “Why couldn’t he tell me himself? Why did he send you?”

Klaus paused, mouth agape before pursing their lips. “He’s dead.”

He said that so nonchalantly that it didn’t process, “dead?” You scanned your living room, waiting for Ben to pop out from somewhere and tell you that it was some silly prank. “Funny, Klaus. Where is he?”

“No, Y/n you don’t understand.” His head fell into his hands. “Ben died on a mission two weeks ago.” He looked at the ghost that stood behind you, “and he’s sorry. He’s sorry since… y’know, he can’t be here with you. I don’t know why he’s so apologetic, it’s not his fault he died or anything.”

All of this was still too much to process. You were in shock, in heavy denial. “Ben?” You looked at Klaus as if they were a massive liar. “Like… Ben Hargreeves. He died? Two weeks ago?”

“Yeah,” they rubbed their hands together, frowning. “I’m sorry you found out this way.”

“No,” your voice instantly broke and tears spilled out of your eyes as if they were on command. You wiped the oncoming them away with the sleeves of your sweater. You tried to stop them but they kept going. The ache in your heart never stopped, it still hasn’t recovered from the last time you saw him. Hearing this news and knowing you wouldn’t see him again was heart-rending. “No, no, no. Klaus, you’re playing a sick game. You’re getting too good at this shit.” You laughed, leaning back on the couch with your sleeved hand over your eyes. “Please stop it, you little shit. This isn’t funny.”

“I’m not lying! Do you think I’d lie about something like this? My brother’s death? Y/n… it hurts me as much as it hurts you. Ben is gone.” Klaus stayed strong for you, he didn’t show signs of weakness or sorrow. They already spent all of that within the first week, they didn’t need to cry again.

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.” You buried your head in your hands, biting on your bottom lip to ease the pain and keep it together. “You've got to be fucking kidding me.”

Ben could see it. He could see how hard you tried to keep it in. He could hear the heartbreak in your voice and the pain in your body language. He moved from behind you to in front of you. He wanted all of this to stop, he wanted your suffering to end. Watching you lament felt like he was shot through the heart.

“I’m sorry,” Ben said, “I really am.” His voice quavered, “I wish things were different, but I did what I thought I had to do.” He reached out to touch your cheek, only for his hand to glow blue as it passed right through you. “If you could see yourself the way I do, then you’d know how much I love you. You’d know how sorry I am, you’d know how much I m-miss you.” He reached out again, but the same thing happened. “I’d do anything to hold you one last time.” He couldn’t bear to speak anymore, his voice cracked and he had to wipe the tears from his eyes. “You don’t deserve any of this.” But he kept talking. He hoped that a miracle would happen, he wanted you to hear him. “Y/n please… please, please. I love you. I love you, please I need you to know.” He reached out to pull you into an embrace, only to feel emptiness in his arms.

“Ben loves you,” Klaus said.

“I know.” You began to question your own statement. You began to question what Ben told you before he left. “Jesus Christ.” You whispered under your breath and stood up, walking right through Ben as you made your way out of the living room. “Klaus just- just leave.”

“But, Y/n—“

“Klaus leave.” Your voice was as sharp as a blade. “Don’t make me say it a third time.” You turned to them with slanted eyebrows. “Leave.”

“I’ll see you around, okay?” Klaus waved as he walked towards the exit. “I’ll see you some other day. Take care of yourself, please.”

You didn’t respond and walked to your bedroom. The second you got in there the door slammed shut. You slid down the wall and tried your hardest to control your breathing, but nothing you did could help. Your hands shook violently as a scream ripped your vocal cords.

Ben’s heart shattered. The agony behind your voice was enough to break him to pieces. He sat on the other side of the door with tear-stained cheeks. If he knew that four weeks ago would be the last time he’d hold you, he’d hold you tighter. If he knew that four weeks ago would be the last time he’d talk to you, he wouldn’t have stopped talking until the both of you were passed out. He would’ve stayed by your side until the sun rose and you opened your eyes.

— ( ☂︎ ) —

Being Reginald Hargreeves's child isn't easy. Constant training, missions left and right, it all seems endless and you'd never have a normal childhood. His children have several ways of coping.

Klaus sneaks out of the house to go to teen parties where he overindulges in alcohol and pumps drugs into his veins.

Allison and Luther lock themselves up in a room where they can be alone and undisturbed. This way they can forget about their responsibilities.

Viktor plays the violin because he isn’t special. He isn’t like his siblings, he’s powerless and weak.

Diego seeks attention. Any attention that validates him as a hero is enough to feed his ego.

Ben can no longer hold a pencil or paintbrush the way he used to. All he can do is watch his loved ones suffer and get hurt. Ben’s heart was broken, knowing that he passed on his misery and misfortune to the one he loved most.

Part two? If I write it, it’s going to be a bit more angsty, no fluff, and it’s going to be shorter (hopefully). Tell me if you want to be tagged.

I may or may not already have an idea.

tags: @xenijk @vivsmcdo

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stiingrayyyy · 2 years

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monster | umbrella!ben x reader

hurt/comfort • ben x gender neutral reader ben thought he could never hurt a fly, but the first time his powers manage to kill, it's you who he goes to for help. aka that scene of leonard and viktor but less bad enjoy some more gross fluff lol

Three o'clock in the morning is a weird time for a visitor, to state the obvious, but reading kept you awake enough to haul yourself down the stairs and to swing open the door to see who was so desperate for your attention at that hour.

A lot of things could have stood there under the porch light, like a serial killer, mailman, or a solicitor, but you surely didn't expect to see Ben Hargreeves covered in fresh blood and shaking like a kitten with a chill.

You blinked a few times, pinching the skin on your fingers to make sure it wasn't some sick trick of your subconscious. "Ben?"

"I killed someone," a single tear traced a soft tan trail on his cheek, cutting through the red like paint.

"Please, come inside," you took his hand, leading him inside. You didn't give a damn about the dark footprints on the tile; you just needed to make sure he was okay, and that would erase anything else. "I'll run a bath."

You tested the water, its flow a gentle warmth, readying some spare clothes from your closet which included a simple black hoodie he had leant you; at the time you had no intention of giving it back, but situation calls. After finding the one clean towel in the closet, you sat at the edge of the tub, stroking Ben's hair with a damp hand. "What happened out there?"

"They were about to kill Klaus and they just came out," he tried to hide his tears with a splash on his face, the water darkening with every second that passed.

"Look at me," you held his face in your hand. "You managed to save your brother." His knees pressed harder against his chest, his skin tone much more visible now. The water had swept all it could, rushing down the drain. "Imagine how many people they would kill including your siblings if you hadn't stopped them,"

"I took someone's life with my own hands, though," he whispered, his expression hopeless, and your words powerless.

"You're still loved," you drew the used washcloth to wipe the ring around the bath. "Just remember that,"

Other than the blood, Ben was relatively unscathed, so you prepared your bed as nicely as you could, cleaning the small area around the bed before he entered, dry and soft. "I can sleep here?"

"I didn't think I had to say it," the blankets on the bed hadn't been washed quite yet, which embarrassed you just a bit. "Let me know if you need anything," you leaned down to kiss his forehead. "Goodnight Ben," you said as you turned to make your way to the couch, ready to spend the night there– lumps and all.

"Wait," he sat up at an angle. "Can you stay with me?" His eyes begged so sincerely; what they'd seen entitled him to company.

"Of course," sliding off your night slippers, you settled in next to him, the spot warmer than you had left it when you'd gotten up to answer the door a mere hour ago. Silently, you wrapped your arms on him, allowing him to rest his head on your chest.

"I don't know what I'd do without you," Ben's body melted on yours, fighting rest to kiss you one last time. "Somehow you manage to love a little monster like me,"

"You're not a monster, though. You're Ben–" you stroked his damp hair with a finger. "–and I love Ben."

#tua #the umbrella academy #umbrella!ben #umbrella academy #ben hargreeves #ben hargreeves x you #ben hargreeves x reader #ben hargreeves fluff #i just want to protect him so bad #ben is baby

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stiingrayyyy · 2 years

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Ben Hargreeves x Reader

Being Reginald Hargreeves's child isn't easy. Constant training, missions left and right, it all seems endless and you'd never have a normal childhood. His children have several ways of coping.

Klaus sneaks out of the house to go to parties, intoxicating himself with liquor and weed.

Luther and Allison, they spend too much time together to forget and run away from responsibilities.

Viktor, he plays violin because he was convinced he was ordinary, powerless and different from his siblings. He knew he was different. He didn’t understand why Reginald wanted him in the family if all he got was neglect.

Diego tries to divert his attention from his family life in every way he can. He needs action and something to occupy his mind. He needs praise and validation to boost his ego.

Ben creates art.

Ever since that day at the cafe, the person he met wouldn't leave his mind. He dedicated all of his free time to a new work of art. The inspiration was you.

that’s a clip of what i’ve written. later on will include angst and character death.

read the oneshot here.

notes: the hargreeves siblings and y/n are teenagers, umbrella!ben. pronouns for y/n not chosen yet, someone help me choose ♡

#where are all the ben oneshots #the umbrella academy imagines #the umbrella academy #the umbrella academy imagine #ben hargreeves imagines #umbrella ben #tua ben #tua netflix #ben hargreeves x reader #fei hargreeves #the sparrow academy imagines #the sparrow academy #diego hargreeves #luther hargreeves #klaus hargreeves #klaus hargreeves imagine #five hargreeves x reader #ben hargreeves imagine #ben hargreeves

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stiingrayyyy · 2 years

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where are all the ben hargreeves oneshots 😔

#the umbrella academy imagines #the umbrella academy #ben hargreeves imagines #ben hargreeves x reader #ben hargreeves #five hargreeves #diego hargreeves #tua #five hargreeves imagine #the sparrow academy imagines #the sparrow academy #sparrow ben #umbrella ben #luther hargreeves #allison hargreeves #viktor hargreeves #klaus hargreeves #klaus hargreeves imagine

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stiingrayyyy · 2 years

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façade

( pairing ) : ben hargreeves x reader

( about ) : inspired by s3ep8 — ben wants to know what was so special about the old ben. the reader lets him know that they’re not so different.

( warnings ) : some angst, profanity

( words ) : 1800

( note ) : i wanted to write a multichapter fic but i literally can’t commit to anything so here’s one if my fav ben scenes this season! hope you enjoy! (and i’m really sorry if it’s a little specific for an x reader. i haven’t written anything in about a year and i used to strictly write x oc fics. but appearance-wise, there aren’t any descriptions, so feel free to imagine whomever you’d like)

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#ben hargreeves #where are all the ben oneshots #ben hargreeves x reader #tua netflix #the umbrella academy

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stiingrayyyy · 2 years

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Y/n: I just wanna be called cute 21/7. Five: Why not 24/7? Y/n: Snack breaks. Five: I can work with that.... Cutie

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stiingrayyyy · 2 years

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Safe | F.H

Pairing: Five Hargreeves X Wife!Reader

Summary: He didn't care because she was safe and in his arms

He’s trembling. She’s shaking. They’re both nervous, but they’re both smiling. The tears in his green eyes are hard to miss. The smile that plays on her lips is a sight that’d make any man fall to his knees. She was his Achilles heel. His kryptonite. His entire world was standing before him.

His hands were covered in the red sticky liquid that gently transferred from his hands to her cheeks. The handprints of red are prominent, but neither of them care. She’s safe and in his arms. He takes her left hand in his, carefully kissing her knuckles.

She chuckles, slightly out of relief, somewhat out of happiness. He smiles after hearing her melodic laughter. Five Hargreeves has never been so smitten over a girl– a woman. His heart races at her smile. His cheeks light aflame at her laughter. He turns to mush at her touch.

Years of being the cause of bloodbaths. Years of murdering people who messed up the timeline. Yet here they were. After swearing that they wouldn’t ever kill again, they both just killed twelve men for just existing. They know that soon they’ll have to face their siblings.

Perhaps that can wait a minute. Since landing in Dallas, they haven’t spent a minute alone together. He hasn’t gotten a chance to really admire his wife. She hasn’t gotten a chance to see how much determination is in her husband's eyes. So ambitious, so determined to save his family.

She pushes the sleeve of her shirt over her palm, trying to wipe some of the blood that stains his cheek. Five admires the way she concentrates. Her efforts are fruitless; all it does is stain the sleeve of her shirt. He takes her hand in a tight but gentle grip, interlacing their fingers.

“ It’s not gonna come off. “ Five mutters, looking at her confused face, “ I’ll take a shower at Elliot’s. “

She smiles, “ What’re your siblings going to say? “

“ I won’t tell them. They don’t need to be involved with our affairs. Not any more than required. “ Five stated, “ They don’t need to know what we’ve done. I don’t want them to see me like that. “

“ See you like what? “ She asked, “ A monster. “ He answers.

Her heart softens at the words. He can see her eyes slightly soften. The e/c color of her eyes turn glassy once she swallows the words he just spoke. Y/n is a soft soul. So kind and so sweet. Comparable to dove. She moves with grace and simplicity. Her heart is the purest imperial gold.

“ You’re not a monster. “ Y/n’s words came out hushed as she moved the overgrown bangs out of his eyes, “ You’re Five Hargreeves. “

Five opened his mouth to interject, “ My husband. “ She finished.

“ The man I married is kind, soft, and sensitive. He’s ambitious and prideful. And maybe sometimes arrogant. “ Y/n laughed at her own words making a smile creep on Five’s face, “ But despite that, he’s a protector. He doesn’t stop until everyone he loves is safe. “

“ His mind constantly runs like a broken record. Sometimes he starts to believe the voices in his head, which couldn’t be further from the truth. “ She informs, “ My husband is not a monster. My husband is Five Hargreeves. A protector. “

Gently he pulled her in for a kiss. His hands cup her cheeks with such delicacy. Her hands rest in his brunet hair that’s tousled and matted from the blood that resides. It gives his hair more of a darker look than usual. Blood can trace from his hand to in between her fingers. It doesn’t matter.

Because she’s safe and in his arms.

He spatial jumped himself and her back to Elliot’s apartment only to find the latter dead. Despite the hospitality, they don’t have time to grieve. Diego and Luther are in the kitchen talking about the Swedish letters written in blood on the floor.

They thought the words were English and not in another language. Leaving Five to correct their mistake and Diego to hang up the phone after threatening an innocent. He can’t help but feel embarrassed. Five took off his blazer and tie.

Five began to walk past his two brothers, “ Uh, you two have some blood on you. “ Luther commented, “ A lot of blood, actually. “ Diego added.

“ What did you two do? “ Luther queried, “ We had some things to take care of. “ Y/n answered calmly as Five went into the bathroom.

Eventually, Diego and Luther gave up the questioning. She searched for a washcloth and began wiping the blood off her with water from the sink. Y/n watched as the water turned a pastel pink, and she sighed. Despite everything that had ever happened.

She couldn’t believe she was in this spot. Her younger self would’ve been ashamed. She twisted the ring on her finger. Maybe her future didn’t go exactly to plan. Perhaps the fates never wanted her future to go how she wanted. But that didn’t matter. Two arms wrapped around her waist. His scent enclosed around her. His hair was still wet from the shower as he kissed her neck gently.

The former plan of her future didn’t matter because she was safe and in his arms.

#five x y/n #five x reader #five hargreeves imagine #the umbrella academy imagines #the umbrella academy

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stiingrayyyy · 2 years

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Home || Sparrow Ben Hargreeves

Summary: Ben isn’t the same Ben you once knew. And it sucks.

Word count: 1.1k

Warnings: mentions of death

A/N: reader has the power of premonition (seeing the future). Let me know if you want a part two! Requests open.

Your hands flew to your mouth as Ben(?) punched Klaus, sending him flying. Shock was on all of your family's faces, yours included.

I can't believe he just did that

"You didn't have to do that," Luther said angrily, taking a step forward.

"Oh I think I did," Ben retorted with venom in his voice.

Arguments broke out everywhere with everyone talking at once but all you could do was stare. Ben. In the flesh. You couldn't take your eyes off of him. Your heart ached, and you felt a little dizzy. So many emotions at once were resurfacing; grief, excitement, disbelief, anger. They all coursed through your veins making your heart race. Probably feeling you staring at him, he suddenly halted in slinging insults and turned his head towards you. You made eye contact and just looked at each other. You honest to God couldn't stop staring.

Before you could react your eyes glazed over and you saw a flash of Luther getting his ass beat by the Sparrow’s leader, getting stomped in the chest. You gasped, snapping back into it just as Luther swung, missing, and then getting punched in the gut.

All hell broke loose as he flew backwards and knocked into Klaus, their leader charging forward to continue to do some damage. Your head swiveled around as your family and theirs took off into all directions.

Ben was still looking at you, having not moved an inch.

Before you could say anything to your best friend- who wasn’t your best friend anymore-your mind warned you of his next move. Tentacles shot out of his chest in your direction, which you ducked under just in time. You saw vision after vision of him coming at you, making you jump out of the way each time.

"I don't want to fight you!" You screamed, clear flashes of his next move clouding your mind briefly. You leaped out of the way as his tentacle shot outwards towards you once again.

A sadistic smile took over his face, masking the frustration he felt at you ducking and dodging his every move.

"Well we don't always get what we want, now do we?"

With that he lunged forward, attempting to get to you with his physical strength rather than his powers. As usual you anticipated his move, and sprung out of the way of his strong hands.

You were tired; the last 20 days had been the longest of your life. And now here you were, being told your home wasn't your home, fighting your dead best friend to what seemed to be the death.

Ben stopped moving to stare at you; only for a second. You tried not to breathe too heavy, not wanting to indicate your lack of energy.

Ben's face, while still handsome, was stone cold. Nothing like the Ben you knew; nothing like the Ben you loved, and missed terribly. You lost him not once, but again a second time when he saved Viktor.

Your eyes softened. His face was thinner, more mature now. And he had a long scar running on the side of his cheek.

He had a lean, muscular body that was emphasized by his clothes (which were something your Ben would never wear). His eyes didn’t hold the same gentleness to them; they were steely, angry. Arrogant. These thoughts all came flooding in at once, and you lost focus briefly. That was enough time for him to lunge forward and grab you tightly by your shoulders, shoving your back against the wall.

"Who are you?" he seethed, his face stricken in anger as he glared into your eyes.

"Y/N," you said confidently but on the inside you were terrified, knowing your fighting skills were subpar to his. You hadn't anticipated getting caught, and now you couldn't get free.

"Y/N," he repeated harshly, and you nodded. You stared into each other's eyes; you couldn't decipher what his deal was, how he was truly feeling. He was a guarded man now, and he wasn't about to let any emotion slip past this hard facade. "Get the hell out of my house."

"It's my house too," you argued and he looked at you in disbelief. "It was my house first."

"Even if that was true, it's not your home anymore. Get. The hell. Out."

His iron grip was still on your shoulders. You sighed, closing your eyes. This was not the Ben you knew. Tears welled up in your eyes and you opened them, willing the tears not to spill over. You couldn't even wipe them away because your hands were still pinned to your side.

"Aw, now you're crying?" he taunted, but his voice sounded almost unsure. "Can't handle having your ass beat?"

"I miss the old you," you said. "I hate the new you."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Another Ben existed in my timeline, asshole. A better one."

"So then where is he? If he’s so much better?" he inquired, and you gulped.

"Dead."

His grip on you loosened but you stayed put, gauging his reaction. Despite what you said you couldn't help but feel some type of way towards him. He was still Ben, even if his attitude had changed. He was just a product of his environment, and Lord knows Reginald wasn't one to nurture.

Your eyes didn't leave his face.

"Dead?"

You nodded slowly. All of a sudden he released you, dropping your arms like they were hot coal.

"And why should I believe you?"

"Because I care about you," you said, voice cracking. "Even now."

He stayed quiet, unmoving.

"Y/N?" it was Klaus.

You both looked over to see him staring at the two of you in confusion, probably wondering why you were so close, not fighting like the rest.

A tentacle shot out and snatched him up before anyone could do anything.

You attempted to punch Ben, all feelings aside, but instead he blocked you, holding you off with one of his strong arms.

"Let him go!" You yelled as he waved your brother around mid air, squeezing him tightly.

"See, we're hugging," Klaus wheezed out. "This is the first step."

Diego came flying off of the balcony and landed in the center of the room, taking in the scene. Without hesitation he threw one of his knives at Ben, sticking him right in the tentacle. Ben gasped out in pain and dropped Klaus, his tentacles retreating back into his stomach. You were still standing next to him, having stopped fighting against him when Diego arrived.

Diego helped Klaus up, making sure he was steady before marching over to you. You snapped out of it, allowing Diego to pull you away from Ben and towards the door that Klaus was limping towards. You looked over your shoulder, not getting any more visions of Ben attacking. Instead he stood there, watching you go. He didn’t do anything.

#the umbrella academy #the umbrella academy imagine #the umbrella academy imagines #the sparrow academy #the sparrow academy imagines #ben hargreeves #ben hargreeves imagine #ben hargreeves imagines #tua season 3 #tua

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stiingrayyyy · 2 years

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da capo al coda.

50 Cliché Tropes and Prompts: 47. “I’ve been in love with you for years”

Pairing: Ben Hargreeves x Reader

Word Count: 4,806 words

Warnings: Swearing, severe awkwardness

Ben Hargreeves is fifteen years old when he first lays eyes on you.

The black leather jacket that his siblings had gotten for him is still new, with that nice new-leather smell still running through the seams, and it makes him feel older and cooler as he slinks into the Icarus Theater with Vanya and Allison.

The Amphion Symphony Orchestra is performing tonight. Vanya had all but begged them to go with her; Five had always accompanied her before he left, and it’s been a long time since she had last been to a concert. Ben is glad that he’d finally agreed to go. The guilt would’ve eaten at him if he had refused again.

Besides, since Dad is away on a trip for the weekend and Pogo and Mom tend to let things slide whenever he’s gone, Ben figures he could risk it.

“I heard a rumor that you already checked our tickets,” Allison whispers to the woman at the ticket table, and the three siblings proceed down to the auditorium after grabbing some programs.

Vanya selects the middle-left section of seats five rows from the front. Ben sits down between her and Allison, getting comfortable on the squeaky cushion, and opens his program with mild interest. His eyes catch onto the first two pieces.

Keep reading

#cliché tropes and prompts #ben hargreeves #ben hargreeves x reader #ben hargreeves imagine #the umbrella academy #tua fanfic

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stiingrayyyy · 2 years

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the opened eyes.

50 Wordless Ways to Say “I Love You”: 15. Calming them down when they have a bad dream. Pairing: Five Hargreeves x Reader Word Count: 778 words Warning: Swearing, panic attack

His eyes open to a dark, murky sky.

Crap. Not again. Five sits up sluggishly, fighting the pounding in his head as he tries to figure out how much sleep he’s gotten – not enough, obviously, but knowing the number of hours would be nice for once. God, his eyes hurt like hell. It feels like someone’s stuffed cotton through his ears all the way into his brain. He blinks hard, cursing under his breath as he holds his head.

Why did he wake up this time? After rubbing his temples in an effort to relieve the tension – though he knows it’s only temporary – Five exhales softly and looks over at where you’re sleeping a few feet away. Your back is facing him, but …

You …

He hears a groan.

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#the umbrella academy #five hargreeves imagine #five hargreeves x reader #five hargreeves #100 ways to say i love you

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stiingrayyyy · 2 years

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blink of an eye.

50 Wordless Ways to Say “I Love You”: 7. Lightly kissing on top of a freshly formed bruise.

Pairing: Five Hargreeves x Reader

Word Count: 1,095 words

Warning: Swearing

It’s bruising.

Five rolls his pajama sleeve up to his elbow and stares at the black umbrella on his wrist, tracing over the inked lines and the dappled, purpling skin between them. His frown deepens. He didn’t know that it could bruise. What a pain in the ass.

If there’s one thing that he, his siblings, and you all agree on, it’s that all of you hate the damn thing. None of you need a tattoo to remember your connection to everyone else, like Dad had claimed. The uniforms, missions, and nonstop training sessions are enough.

Someone knocks. Five tears his gaze away from the tattoo to look up at where you linger in the doorway, already dressed in your street clothes.

Your eyes fall on his wrist. “Oh – does yours still hurt, too?” you say. You close the door quietly and walk toward his bed, sitting down next to him. Fatigue lines your face, but you still manage a smile, like always.

“It’s just bruised,” he answers, glancing down at it again before moving on to examine your left arm. Like him, you had rolled your sleeve up so it wouldn’t rub against your skin.

“Mine still aches a bit. No bruises, though.” You lean in closer to examine his wrist, and your smile fades. “Oh, wow. That looks pretty bad.”

“It’s fine.”

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#wordless ways to say i love you #five hargreeves #five hargreeves x reader #five hargreeves imagine #the umbrella academy #tua

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stiingrayyyy · 2 years

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my boy [b.h.]

summary: billy comes over after a, shockingly, verbal fight with neil and craves your comfort

pairing: billy hargrove x fem!reader

a/n: i love billy sm and now i’m rewatching s3 😭😭 so much pain also billy flirting with his little sister’s friend’s mom 😭 he’s so hot in the scene tho

warnings: reader in her underwear, neil, billy venting, corey ranting abt billy in the form of writing details

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊° .☆.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊° .☆

you were in your room, in just your underwear and a stretched out muscle tee billy had left at your house, when he came in through your window, you turned to it, expecting to see a bloodied and bruised billy but there wasn’t a scratch on him. you’re eyes showed concern as he creeped in, walking towards you, dragging his feet slightly as he came over and hugged you. his body shook with silent sobs as you led him to your bed, sitting him down as he leaned into your shoulder, tears wetting your shirt, his shirt. you rubbed his back with one hand as the other entertwined itself with his. soon his shaking stopped, or more so slowed and his breathing calmed. “what happened, billy?” a sob left his throat as his hand tightened around yours, “he didn’t hit me like he usually does, i can take being hit, he just said i was a disappointment, a b-burden,” he said, stuttering, “not worthy of you,” and that’s what got your tears going.

“hey billy, love, look at me.” you lifted his tear stained cheeks up from your shoulder for him to look at your face. “no one isn’t worthy of love, maybe your dad but, definitely, definitely not you. you deserve all the love that i give you, billy. billy you are the love of my life and i don’t care if you have issues, im in love with all of you. that includes your flaws and your outbursts. i love everything about you from your eyelashes to the way you say my name.”

“you’re in love with me?” his voice broke as blood rushed through your ears. you looked into his eyes and saw hope beaming back at you. hope that someone loves him, loves him enough they won’t leave. you whispered a ‘c’mere’ as you back up on your bed, you led him to lay between your legs, his head resting on your chest as you drew small patterns into his back, your face in his hair and lips scattering kisses across the crown of his head, you whispered into his hair, “yes, im in love with you billy, i always will be.”

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊° .☆.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊° .☆

#stranger things #billy hargrove x female reader #billy hargrove comfort #billy hargrove x reader

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stiingrayyyy · 2 years

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You Callin' Me a Liar?

pairing: eddie munson x reader

summary: eddie tells the boys that he has a girlfriend, but they don't believe him. eddie vows to make them eat their words

wc: 2.5k

part 2

“No can do, boys. I’m driving my girlfriend home today.” The freshmen had barely gotten the question out when Eddie shot them down.

“Girlfriend?!” exclaimed Dustin. “Since when do you have a girlfriend?!” To say he was shocked was an understatement. His eyebrows shot all the way up to his hairline and his jaw might as well have been on the floor.

“Dude, if you don’t want to drive us then just say that,” said Mike.

Eddie looked at the boy incredulously. “You callin me a liar, Wheeler?”

“I mean, not in those words…” Mike quickly looked down, uncomfortable with the glare that Eddie was directing at him. The dungeon master was usually pretty chill, but god he could be intimidating.

Eddie scowled before staring at the other two boys, “And what about you two? You don’t believe me either?” The look on Dustin’s face was answer enough, as was Lucas’ awkward smile. “Just you three wait. I have the most gorgeous girl in Hawkins High and I’m gonna prove it.”

“Yeah, right,” started Mike before looking over at Dustin and Lucas. “Next thing we know he’ll be telling us his ‘girlfriend’ is a cheerleader, too.”

“As a matter of fact, she is,” huffed Eddie. If he was being honest with himself, it kind of stung how none of the boys believed he was capable of being in a relationship.

“Whatever you say, Eddie,” said Dustin placatingly, obviously still believing Eddie to be lying so he didn’t have to drive them home.

“Y’know what, I’m gonna bring her to Hellfire this week and all of you will eat your words.”

Hellfire wasn’t for another two days and Eddie was becoming more and more short tempered at constantly being the butt of the joke at the table. Not a single one of his friends believed him. This is what he gets for not wanting the relationship to be public. He’d been so worried about how the rest of the squad would treat you if they knew, but he didn’t even consider how his friends would react, especially without proof.

“So, Eddie, which one is it? It can’t be Chrissy since she’s dating Jason, and Kelly is with that Daniel guy. Is it Lisa?” teased Gareth. After that, the rest of the guys started taking turns poking fun at him, trying to guess the cheerleader that Eddie was supposedly dating.

“No.”

“Jennifer?”

“No.”

“Beth?”

“No.”

“Yn?”

Your name obviously caught Eddie’s attention, the rest of the table erupting into a cacophony of shouts and laughter that couldn't be distinguished from one another.

Jeff’s voice cut through the noise, still laughing, “Dude, there’s no way you got a girl like Yn Y/l/n to go out with you. She’s, like, the golden girl of Hawkins High. It’s been a fun joke, but I can’t even entertain it anymore.” His broad smile was a harsh contrast to his words. Jeff didn’t realize it, but Eddie was both offended and hurt by his words.

You were at your usual table with the rest of the squad when you saw your beloved boyfriend storm out of the cafeteria. A frown tugged at your lips, wondering what had upset him so much. You waited a few minutes before excusing yourself from the conversation to go after Eddie, knowing exactly where you would find him.

He was already at the picnic table when you arrived. He had his head in his hands and his back to you. “Eddie?” you called out. He lifted his head and turned to you. “Yeah?” he croaked.

“Baby, what’s wrong?” You approached the table and sat next to him, pulling his head into your lap. He sighed, “It’s the guys. They think I’m lying about you.” He was full on pouting now. You knew he was upset but damn he was cute when he did that.

You gazed down at him and smiled, running your fingers through his hair, “So what? At the end of the day I’m still your girlfriend, whether they believe it or not.” Your words finally got a smile back on his face as he sat up and pulled you next to him, pressing his lips to yours in a brief kiss before pulling back. “Thanks, sweetheart. You still comin’ to Hellfire this week?”

“Wouldn’t miss it for the world,” you said with a cheeky grin. “Can’t let the party think their dungeon master is a liar, now can I?”

“Oh, but of course not. My honor will be restored and the princess of Hellfire will put her subjects in their place.”

“Princess of Hellfire? Eddie, they’ve never even met me,” you chuckled, Eddie joining you. His theatrics had always been a source of laughter for you and oh how Eddie loved the sound. When the laughter died down the two of you were left in a comfortable silence until Eddie checked his watch and hissed. “What is it?” you asked.

“Lunch ended 10 minutes ago.”

One day to the Hellfire meeting and the club was still not dropping the subject. The three freshmen had finally told the others that Eddie planned to bring you this week, and they were determined to hold him to it. Not that he had any intention of backing out.

“So, Eddie, why don’t you tell us about her? Since y’all are dating you should know all about her, right?” Lucas was being a bitch and the whole table knew it was intentional. He was trying to get under Eddie’s skin and it was working. “So, how did you meet?”

Eddie remained silent, opting to ignore the nosy question in favor of eating his lunch.

“Oh, c’mon, man. Just answer the question,” chimed Gareth.

Eddie huffed, practically throwing his fork onto his plate. “We met at a music store. She was looking for some Ozzy and I helped her out. Got to talking about music and we hit it off. Turns out we listen to a lot of the same stuff.”

“You really expect us to believe a prep listens to the same kind of music you do? You sure you didn’t dream this?” said Lucas skeptically, his expression one of total disbelief. The rest of the guys murmured in agreement.

“First Wheeler and now you’re callin’ me a liar, too?”

“Look, man, no one’s calling you a liar right now,” objected Dustin. “ We’re gonna wait to see if she shows up to Hellfire.” He glanced around the table at each of the club members, “Right, guys?” There was a chorus of half-hearted acceptance. Not wanting to go too far and piss off Eddie even more, the subject switched over to complaining about classes and teachers and annoying classmates.

Today was the day. You were finally going to join Eddie in one of his Hellfire meetings. You were nervous about making a good impression. You knew how important the group was to him and you were terrified that they wouldn’t like you. He’d nearly laughed at your concern when you brought it up during one of his late night visits, but was quick to reassure you when he realized you were serious.

“Sweetheart, you are the most amazing person I know. You’re sweet and talented and you have great taste in music,” he comforted, voice taking on an airy quality as he leaned in closer to you, lips brushing but not quite connecting. “And we can’t forget how you look in that cheer uniform, especially that little skirt.” He’d laughed against your lips before finally melding his lips to yours. The lazy kiss quickly turned heated as he dragged his hand down your side to grip your hips, pulling you onto his lap. He withdrew to leave a trail of kisses down the column of your throat before finding the spot he was looking for; the spot that made you gasp out his name so prettily.

He brought his sinful mouth up to your ear, biting and sucking all the way back up your neck and nipping your earlobe before whispering, “You couldn’t be any more perfect unless you were God himself.” He placed one more chaste kiss against your lips before resting his forehead on yours. “You have nothing to worry about, I promise.” That night, you fell asleep with Eddie’s arms wrapped around you. He was gone when you woke up, of course. If either of your parents saw you sleeping with a boy in your bed, they would have blown a fuse.

The school day was dragging and your nerves were making it worse. Despite Eddie’s reassurance, you still had your doubts. By the time lunch rolled around you were practically shaking with anxiety, so wrapped up in your thoughts that you didn’t hear Chrissy calling your name.

“Yn!” she said loudly, finally gaining your attention.

Your head jerked up in her direction, “Yeah?”

Chrissy laughed at your distractedness, “Just wanted to let you know we’re practicing a new routine today. What’s got you so distracted?” You didn’t answer and she gasped dramatically. She leaned over the table and whispered conspiratorially “Is it a boy?!” You blanched. “I knew it!” she squealed, delighted that her best friend was finally showing interest in someone. “You have to tell me all about him!”

“Okok, but not here.” Eddie had been adamant about being hush hush with your relationship. He was so worried that you would be ridiculed just for dating him, and he didn’t want to see you go through the same torment he did. But Chrissy was your closest friend and there was no doubt in your mind that she would be over the moon for you as well as keep your secret. You got up from the table, Chrissy following suit, and led her to the girl’s locker room in the gym, which was thankfully empty.

Chrissy was immediately bombarding you with questions, too excited to wait for you to answer before asking another one. “So, what’s his name? What’s he like? Oh! Is he on the basketball team? I could get Jason to help set you up!”

You waved your hands in front of you, quickly denying her offer. “He’s not on the basketball team. He’s not on any team, actually.”

“No? Well, who is it then? C’mon, the suspense is killing me! Best friends are supposed to know everything, and you’ve been holding out on me!”

“Alright!” you wheezed out in between your laughter. “It’s Eddie…”

“Eddie Munson?” she said, stunned. You nodded in affirmation. She seemed to roll the idea around in her head before seemingly making up her mind, exclaiming, “You two would be so cute together! Have you talked to him?”

“Chrissy, we’re already dating,” you informed flatly.

“Oh my God, Yn, how could you not tell me?!” she whined. “You have to tell me everything, now.” She crossed her arms and tried to school her face into as stern an expression as she could.

“We met at a music store. I was looking for an Ozzy Osbourne cassette but I couldn't find one. Eddie was there and helped me out. We talked for a while about music and it just kinda went from there.”

“Aw, that’s so cute! We should totally do a double date!”

You looked at her like she had grown a second head. “A double date? With Jason and Eddie?” It dawned on Chrissy that there was a serious flaw in her plan: your respective boyfriends hated each other.

She let out a loud laugh and looked at you, smiling. “Wouldn’t that be something? Pretty far fetched, huh?”

“Yeah, no kidding. They’d be at each other’s throats the whole time.”

You and Chrissy spent the remainder of lunch talking in the locker room and telling her all about your plans with Eddie later. It was relieving to finally be able to tell her about him.

Meanwhile, Eddie was bragging up a storm at his lunch table. He couldn’t wait for the guys to meet you and especially couldn't wait to prove them wrong.

“Eddie, if you say one more word about her, you’re gonna be one party member short tonight, whether she’s coming or not,” warned Lucas. Eddie held his hands up in surrender.

“I still don’t think there’s any possible way you got with a girl like Yn,” said Jeff around a mouthful of food.

“Just you wait until tonight. You’ll all eat your words.”

Hellfire had started 30 minutes ago and you were still nowhere to be seen. The guys were throwing him pitiful glances and whispering amongst themselves. They still hadn’t started the session, and it was clear that Eddie was on pins and needles waiting for your arrival.

Dustin was the first of the boys to give him the benefit of the doubt, “Hey, man, maybe she’s just running late? The cheerleaders practice after school, so she’s probably still in the gym.”

The others weren’t convinced, but it was enough to satisfy Eddie, who was no stranger to how hard you worked for the squad. “Yeah. Yeah, you’re probably right. So, what do you say, gentlemen? Ready to fight some monsters?”

That new cheer routine turned out to be much harder than anyone was anticipating, and practice ran for much longer than it typically did. You were supposed to be at Hellfire 45 minutes ago. You didn’t bother to change out of your cheer uniform, rushing out of the gym doors, hoping that yelling bye on the way out was good enough. You ran through the corridors to the drama room, barging in without so much as knocking. “Eddie, I’m so sorry I didn’t mean to be late but cheer practice ran overtime-”

“See, Eddie, I was right! Cheer practice!” interrupted a boy who could be no older than maybe 15 or 16. Eddie wasted no time introducing you, “Guys, I want you to meet my lovely girlfriend, Yn. Yn, this is the sorry bunch of freaks I play DnD with every week.”

You gave a small wave to the group. “Sorry I didn’t knock. Was in a bit of a rush,” you chuckled awkwardly, growing increasingly embarrassed by the open-mouthed stares of the boys. They recovered quickly when Eddie cleared his throat a little too aggressively to be genuine. Within seconds the room was filled with questions being directed at both you and Eddie, not that Eddie was answering any of them. He was too busy admiring you in your uniform.

He continued to ignore his club in favor of looking at you. When you finally turned your gaze back to him, he pushed his chair away from the table, an obvious indication of what he wanted. Without any hesitation, you made your way over and plopped yourself into your boyfriend’s lap, not caring about the club still being present. Eddie instantly wrapped his arms around your waist from behind to secure you as he nuzzled his face in your neck. You giggled at his actions before addressing the other boys, “I think you all owe Eddie an apology.”

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