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KK Kozik - Floating (oil on linen), 2020

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thinking about oats. yum.

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By Christina Bothwell

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Llehia

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chloe white

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Emily Dickinson, from her poem titled "1188," featured in The Emergency Poet

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Vijay Sarathy aka Canvasoul (Indian, b. 1995, Chennai, India, based in the Himalayas) - Photography

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Maggie Smith, “Wild”, Goldenrod

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Anyck Alvarez Kerloch

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Selected Books of the Beloved, Gregory Orr

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Angel Lin by Luka Booth for Vogue Czechoslovakia February 2025

Erik Ziemba (Fashion Editor/Stylist), Luka Booth (Art Director), Zaheer Sukhnandan (Makeup Artist), Alexander Torres (Casting Director), Anna Maria la Germaine (Producer)

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is there really no one to love me? will i be a lonely little fool for the rest of my life? i want to be in love. i just want someone out there to be mine. but i just feel like the bullshit i've had to go through and the roll that i have to be in my family and the person i've had to become to survive is too much for a healthy, lasting relationship. im such an insecure person. i could never believe myself worthy of lasting love. i feel like i would sabatoge it. but i could put my all into not sabatoging it. if i were in love, i feel like I'd treasure it. but it is so hard for me to get feelings for someone. the minute someone becomes close and dear to me, they become a reflection of my thoughts and trauma. i am so fucking done with this world and everything that i am. i hate what i've had to become and

i

am so tired or being so fucking LONELY.

so tired of it, it takes up so much space in me i can't breathe. this loneliness is a person within me, i eat for two, i sleep for two. it tires me and makes itself known like a gunshot like an explosion like an itch like a wound.

i cannot deal with this loneliness for too long. i need to be loved like i need to breathe. i want to be held softly, i want to be looked at with devotion. i want to be loved so dearly and so loyally.

and i want to LOVE. i want to change love and hold and laugh and cry with someone.

im just so tired of being so alone. even if i compartmentalize all feelings into tiny boxes so i won't have to deal with them, they still exist. they are still here. i am still human. and like any fucking human on this earth i just want to be loved

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words from we hug now by sydney rose

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Whether you come as a lover or an executioner, I am ready to receive you.

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words from eternal sunshine by flower face

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Blaze Cyan, 2023