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stinkfacestories · 19 days
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What’s the worst face fart you’ve ever given somebody?
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Alright buckle up because this one's nasty even by my standards:
It was early in my college career. I ate like shit back then. Not like now where I only eat like shit and drink. Around about two mins to half time my gut gives me a warning. You know the type. The kind that says I better hope no one else is in the bathroom when I birth whatever crime against God I've had brewing in me. We're outside and I gotta hold it for at least two minutes because I'm not sure if I have to fart or take a shit.
So next play the ball fumbles and I go into the pile. I land hard and my gut did not like it. From behind I feel someone fall on top of me, the. Someone fall on top of them. I can feel the guys face pressing into my ass. All this pressure I know what's going to happen. I try to hold it back, but my asshole just opens up. Let me see if I can describe how it sounded. I want you to imagine a wet balloon just let out, only deeper. My gut just deflates in this poor guys face for what feels like an eternity. Thank fuck I was wearing pants because I'm pretty sure it's the only thing that kept me spray painting this guys face.
All in all though after I felt better and we went on to win
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stinkfacestories · 19 days
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You and your brother have a nerd you practiced your stinkfaces on growing up?
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Not since highschool. Why? You applying? Please write your resume on your forehead and deliver it directly between my ass cheeks.
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stinkfacestories · 19 days
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Do you think stinkfacing is a skill?
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It's not just a skill, it's a god given gift. Everyone has an ass, but not everyone has the force of personality, the raw power to make shoving your ass in someone's face an make them regret the day they were born. Which do you want? Some 70lb Twink rubbing his boney flat ass a few times in your face, maybe letting out a little sweety toot, OR do you want my 285lb hairy sweaty ass, pressing down into the bridge of your nose sucking you in between the cheeks like it has its own gravity, only to have me let out a fart that sounds like a semi truck with a bad exhaust system trying to go up a muddy hill?
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stinkfacestories · 20 days
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What is the nastiest thing you've ever done to someone? Stinkface or otherwise.
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I think the nastiest thing I have ever done to someone is make them drink what I call Yeti-juice. You see what I do is after a long hot practice Ill go into the locker room and ill squeeze out my shorts and shirt into a water bottle and give it to them to drink. Most of the time they spit it out. There have been a few times where guys being guys someone has dared the other to chug down a big ol bottle of yeti juice.
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stinkfacestories · 20 days
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AMA: Jason Kelce
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Big Yeti here to answer all you stinkface fans questions. I've never been a wrestler, but as a Center I've been giving quarterbacks the stinkface ever since I started playing. You got questions, maybe I have answers. Ask away!
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stinkfacestories · 21 days
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You should totally do a Jason Kelce AMA!
....should I? 😏
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stinkfacestories · 1 month
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Which older brother from tv,books,movies, video games, real life, do you think would give the best stinkface?
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stinkfacestories · 2 months
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Looking for ideas on who to write about next! Send me DMs
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stinkfacestories · 2 months
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The day you found out you had won Jason Kelces Beard Challenge was the best day of your life. The challenge was simple: put together a snap or tiktok video of how to get a beard as good as Jason and the top winner would win a day with Jason. Your video was a long shot: you made a tiktok showing how if you mixed essence of dwarf, with a bit of neanderthal, and just a splash of viking inside Abraham Lincoln's hat and applied it to your face, you'd look as good as Jason. It did t get very many views but Jason loved it. The next thing you knew you were in Philadelphia meeting the man himself at the airport.
The tour of Philadelphia through Jason Kelces eyes was a lot of stops at places he loved to eat. Steak sandwich, sausage, pizza, ice cream. The man just loved to eat. As the day dragged on just as Afternoon turned to evening he took you to Lincoln Field, his home turf. There was no game and the place was locked down, but that was nothing a few signed balls couldn't handle.
He took you to the locker room, the place where he told you he feels most free to be himself. You both sat down on the bench in front of his locker. He took out a case of bud light and cracked one open. The man drank so much bud lite you swore he was sponsored by them.
He told you to be quiet. To just listen to the sound of the room. To drink it in and become one with the soul of real American football.
The only thing you heard was the bench breaking as Kelce leaned forward and let out a fart with a satisfied grunt.
"Oh, sorry," he said, not sounding very sorry.
"Really? " you said. You looked at him, almost appalled that he would do that with you right next to him.
Jason turned and gave you a wink. "Dont tell me you don't find farts funny. Your a guy. All guys love farts." 
You rolled your eyes. "Not really."
"What about this one," he said and let loose a loud bassy fart.
"God stop it, it's so gross," you said as you slid away, but suddenly found yourself pressed against the wall of the locker room. "Seriously dude. What the fuck?"
"C'mon," Jason said as he moved over towards you. “I warned you. Remember when I ate that large sausage with pickled garlic ave said ‘were in trouble later’? What do you think I meant.” and placed a hand on your chest, giving you a bit of a push. "Don't be a prude."
You were caught between a wall, and a wall of beef holding you in place. "Seriously, stop it".
"Can't stop. Won't stop," he said still pressing you in the wall. His eyes were the kind of dull that only cheap low quality beer can make the."You know I bet you never had an older brother. Between me, my dad and Travis we learned to appreciate farts. My dad told me that the best cure is exposure. So to get you up to speed I think I need to gas you more"
He  pressed into you and lifted up his keg and let loose with a fart so powerful it echied through the empty locker room.. You struggled to get away from the horrible stench, but couldn't escape.
"No, don't do this," you said as it overwhelmed you.
He turned around and pressed his huge soft center lineman ass in your face, the soft fabric of his shorts spreading across your face like warm dough. It was too much, and you were powerless to stop it. His asshole flexed and relaxed as it sent out a long drawn out series of wet sounding farts. You gagged as the air around you filled with the horrid odor.
"Fuck that was a good one," he said, not budging an inch. “Three point stance just rips these farts out of me.”
"I think I'm going to puke," you said, trying not to vomit.
"If your gonna puke, aim that way, I like these shorts." he said pointing. "Do you think it's funny yet?"
"No!" You coughed.
"Alright you asked for it" he presses his ass harder, wedging your nose on his cheeks. He let loose with a rapid fire volley of farts that left you breathless and coughing. He backed away, chuckling at you.
"God, fuck, that's rank!" You coughed. You tried to breathe fresh air but the locker room had been total polluted by Kelces ass.
"Come on. You don't have to love them, but you gotta at least admit they are funny and manly now. How can you like football and not think farts are funny." he let you stew and come up with an answer.
"Fuck...no," you say.
He shrugged. "Ok. Your loss," he said and pressed his ass in your face again.
"No! Please. God. No. Fuck!"
"What's it going to take? Do I need to pull my shorts down and give you a bare ass stinkface?" He said, pressing even harder.
"No! No more. Fine. They're fucking funny," you cried.
"What?" He said. "I couldn't hear you"
"They're funny!"
"Now are you just saying that to make me stop?"
"No, I mean it. They are funny and they are manly."
"Well, if it's funny you won't have a problem asking me to do it a few more times so you can properly laugh. Right?"
"Uh...fine. Sure. Just, please, no more, I can't take it."
He turned and farted once. "Laugh. Laugh hard and long and deep." He was getting frustrated that you weren't laughing. "Seriously come on guy. This is just as bad for me as it is for you. It's hard to hold this position and if I keep farting I'm going to have to take a dump soon"
"Oh god no!"
"Laugh dammit!" He yelled.
"No, no, I can't."
"Fine then," he said. He pulled you down and set you face up on the bench. He loomed over you. "Ok big fucking guns time" he pulled down his shorts and hovered his raw hairy bear ass over your face.
"Oh shit, dude please don't!" His as was a beast. This close you could make out the rough skin. His ass had taken a pounding over the years and looked like a hefty bag overfilled with cottage cheese. The hair on his crack was dense and black. 
"Do you think this is funny?"
"Yes, yes, fuck, yes!" You were sobbing, your body convulsing.
“Good. Then you'll find this hilarious.” he sat down. He sat down hard. He rocked back and forth, the wiry hair of his ass crack scouring your face. He dug deep like he has an itch he was trying to scratch.
"Laugh. C'mon. Laugh, laugh like a big boy." He said, simultaneously belching and farting.
"Ahahaha!" You started crying and laughing.
"Oh fuck. What a fucking cry baby. Laughing at farts is supposed to be funny. Not sad."
"I'm sorry," you sobbed.
"Just...fucking stop," he said, standing and pulling up his shorts as he got off you. "Baby can't handle a grown man's ass. Jesus fuck"
He sat down next to you. You were still shaking a little, tears coming from your eyes. "I'm sorry," you said.
"It's fine, it's not the first time I've gassed someone like that," he said. "your not the only one who cried either "
You sniffed, still wiping tears away. "It was just so...overwhelming. The smell, and the sound, and the pressure..."
"It was a lot. It was," he said.
He drained his bud light and crushed the can. "Ok second chance to get it right." He leaves forward and farted, then looked to you to see your reaction.
You laughed. A genuine laugh. "Fuck, dude."
He smiled and farted again. You kept laughing. "It's funny, isn't it?"
"Yeah. It is," you said, laughing some more.
"Now you" he said 
You panicked. You didn't have to fart. You were to nervous.
"What the hell. Do it"
"I don't know if I can," you said.
"Come on. Do it. Do it" he chanted.
"I can't."
"You trying to make me mad? You're a guy. You should always be ready to let rip"
"But I'm not drunk like you are. And I'm not a fucking monster with an ass like yours."
"Fine, then, let's fix that." He reached down and ripped a huge one. He reached for his phone and placed a call "Trav. Yeah we got an emergency. Yeah get that chili defrosted and get some real cheap beer. Ooooh and some gas station food. Yeah he's a wimp. Didn't laugh. No he did. Fuck no she can't come to.  Alright. Love you. No homo" he hung up the phone.
"Your brother's coming over?"
"Yup. And he's gonna be pissed if you don't laugh when he cuts one. He loves farts. And he's got an ass that could kill a guy."
"Wait..."
"We're going to our man cave. It's a cabin in the woods. Just guys. Strict no pants policy. You better hope Trav remembered his boxers. You are gonna learn to love being a man like us and become the third Kelce brother, or you ain't leaving that shack."
"What's it going to be like," you said, afraid, but also excited.
"Oh, you're gonna hate every minute, and you're gonna love every minute."
"Fuck. I'm going to get wrecked, aren't I?"
"Oh definitely. We will probably fuck up your head so much. You're going to end up with a fetish for this."
You laughed.
All you could do was laugh.
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stinkfacestories · 2 months
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How do you feel about Samoa Joe??
I think he's fine, but visual he lacks that vibe that really makes me think of him when I think about the stinkface. I think he's too smooth
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stinkfacestories · 2 months
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If there is one conventionally hot celeb male you'd like to see put on weight and become a total fat farting slob, who would it be ?
If I exclude all the ones I'd normally mention. I think Channing Tatum could be hot if he let himself go
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stinkfacestories · 2 months
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Are you going to be doing anymore AMA's as celebrities/fictional characters again?
Yes if love too. The only thing stopping me is the requests for the same characters over and again, followed by the same questions asked for them. I get why those things happen, but from my end it's not a creative outlet
Feel free to suggest new characters
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stinkfacestories · 2 months
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What is your favorite story you've written?
My favorite story ever written.
On this Tumblr I would have to say that it would have to be Something Awful. Jake Something being a stinkface fan in that just feels right.
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stinkfacestories · 2 months
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My inbox is open. Ask me anything. About wrestling, writing, hot guys, games, or life in general
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stinkfacestories · 2 months
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It was called backstage buddies, I could’ve sworn I read it from your blog???
So it was! That was so long ago I had forgotten
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stinkfacestories · 2 months
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Hi!!! I remember reading about your Kurt and rikishi story a while back ago!! That was so hot🤤🍆🍆🍆🤤. Have you ever thought about doing another one???? Where like Kurt becomes rikishi fart slave???
Did I do one with Kurt? I'm trying to remember and I don't think that was me
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stinkfacestories · 2 months
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Anyone want another Jason Kelce stinkface story? Like this to vote!
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