stories-and-tea

[stories-and-tea]

listen I ended up regretting saying anything about this on my old blog because people will interpret literally any and every statement maliciously on this hellsite but I want to start like. a helpline for people who are like “hey I pretty much only read YA but I’m like 22 now and don’t relate to teenagers as much, it’s such a shame that there are no fun books written for adults :(” because boy HOWDY are there some fun books for adults 

[stories-and-tea]

somehow instead of saying "as a treat", I've started using the phrase "for morale", as if my body is a ship and its crew, and I (the captain) have to keep us in high spirits, lest we suffer a mutiny in the coming days.

and so I will eat this small block of fancy cheese, for morale. I will take a break and drink some tea, for morale. I will pick up that weird bug, for morale.

I'm not sure if it helps, but it does entertain me

[stories-and-tea]

I've seen all the different arguments defending the (*ahem* inexcusable) behaviour of Aziraphale going back to heaven. And while some of them may have merit, after torturing myself entirely too many times rewatching that last 10 minutes I finally noticed, both Aziraphale and Crowley have ONCE AGAIN just been played by the ever manipulative heaven.

Hear me out...

The heavenly powers that be are determined to end the world. They tried once with the anti-christ but that didn't work because... why was that again?...oh right, the almighty power of Crowley and Aziraphale.

We then saw early on in this season that their forces combined are outrageously strong - performing a miracle of 25 lazerii when they were trying to be inconspicuous.

Heaven now wants to end the world again, but they know that Crowley and Aziraphale will absolutely try to stop them (and will almost certainly succeed!). So, what is a heavenly host to do?

Enter, the all powerful Metatron, deigning to grace these lesser angels, this deserter, even a demon, with his presence. And look, I even bought you a coffee. A fancy coffee! I know how much you like earthly delights. Aren’t I nice? Then they need to talk, but lets do it outside the nice quiet bookshop. Lets go out, to a busy outdoor restaurant table. Sure, because that makes sense. But of course it does, it's away from Crowley! And did you see the look the Metatron gave Crowley as they left?!

The Metatron actively moves Aziraphale away from Crowley (the one person who can see through heavens bullshit, and actually talk sense into Aziraphale). He then proceeds to butter Aziraphale up, tell him how wonderful he is, how he's the only man for the job, how much good he can do for the world, how he can help Crowley, all the things Aziraphale wants to hear. Then sends him back to Crowley ON HIS OWN to "tell him the good news" knowing full well it is going to result in Crowley getting upset. And with the Metatron not there, all of Crowleys anger is going to go directly on Aziraphale.

The Metatron even all but admits it when he comes back in completely unsurprised that Crowley didn't take it well. "Oh well, he always did want to go his own way." He knew exactly what the outcome would be. It's exactly the outcome he wanted. That's also why he then rushes Aziraphale into heading up to Heaven before he has a chance to process anything, change his mind, or try to talk to Crowley again. It is textbook manipulation and I think it is absolutely a purposeful plan to separate the two of them because Heaven knows that together, Crowley and Aziraphale are strong enough to take down both Heaven and Hell and stop Armageddon again and again and again.

Personally, I think that everything in the lead up to that episode said that Aziraphale was ready to move away from Heaven and move forward with Crowley and that terrified heaven. So they were manipulated and controlled by a very clever, master narcissist and that hurts on a personal level 😭