strandedcrow

[strandedcrow]

everyone trying to minimise their intake of microplastics is going to be so mad when we invent the blood filter that can extract it and everyone who was plasticmaxxing gets a cool toy made from their poison blood as a souvenir

[strandedcrow]

people needdddd to wear headphones in public because while on an otherwise very lovely walk in the park today i saw a guy sitting under a tree watching a porn parody of the star wars prequels

[strandedcrow]

cosmo.. wanda.. i wish ticks were two feet tall and ran fast as fuck 🙌

[strandedcrow]

well maybe my path to getting revenge wouldn't be so bloody and destructive if people didn't keep getting in my way to lecture me about how bloody and destructive a path it is

[strandedcrow]

if we were cells in a spreadsheet would you merge with me

[strandedcrow]

[strandedcrow]

🤗 i dont like this emoji. this is not a hug to me. this is someone doing condescending jazz hands in my general direction when i am in need of affection. not comforting.

🫂 i love this emoji. this is a hug. we are hugging and its nice. and as a special bonus they appear to be my old friends from the msn messenger logo? very comforting.

[strandedcrow]

there used to be this giant book that was shipped to everybodies home whiched doxxed everybody in the city

[strandedcrow]

[strandedcrow]

[strandedcrow]

the culturally american past time of sitting in your car alone for no reason

[strandedcrow]

this is actually like my third or fourth rodeo so i sort of get it but sort of dont

[strandedcrow]

[strandedcrow]

I fuck him for precisely 15 minutes call me the quarter pounder

[strandedcrow]

A cat in the lap is worth

[strandedcrow]

cant believe im a real person what the hell. the good lord will just make anybbody

[strandedcrow]

all i want is to get hellsitegeneticsed. i want to know what kind of creature my post is. god i want it to be something cool sooooooooo bad do you think they have the genetic code for werewolves