strangecripple - Tumblr blog

[strangecripple]

[strangecripple]

Being able to endure something does not equal an obligation to withstand it.

[strangecripple]

I need more chronically ill mooties spoons gang pls follow

I don't know if I've said this here before, but I have chronic and invisible illness. What makes it even worse is that I don't have an obvious diagnosis so apparently that means I'm not sick. /s

Anyways, if you're also chronically ill and want to yap and vent about symptoms, suffering during flare ups, being in pain, ableism, and curling up in our depression beds trying to find a single ounce of energy through all the fatigue pls follow!!

[strangecripple]

I like the trend of calling “AI” dumb things that are more fitting like “the nonsense generator”

However I would like to put forth a term that the mechanicus in 40K use for AI. “Abominable Intelligence”. It just hits different.

Don’t try and downplay it like it’s some toy or game. Call it what it is, an abomination. It consumes so much and gives nothing but lies and false images. It has consumed so much and given nothing. Call the monster what it is.

[strangecripple]

Do you ever feel like you miss out on life, because you are not able to socialize the way most people do?

[strangecripple]

I hate being able to tell that i’m getting worse, everything is declining and it’s horrid, the only thing worse would be others being able to tell

[strangecripple]

I don't know who needs to hear this right now but...

Having a 5 minute shower when you haven't had one in 4 days is better than not having one at all.

Brushing your teeth for 36 seconds is better than not brushing them at all.

It's okay to not feel okay, especially if your life has been turned upside down in these past few weeks. Staying inside can really damage someone's mental health. Try and get out into the garden or just sit outside your building with a nice beverage and appreciate the outside.

Stay safe doesn't just mean stay indoors.

Peace and love,

Your local bog cryptid. Xoxo

[strangecripple]

questioning schizospec + known plural culture is are these voices in my head in a schizophrenic way because the other alters can’t hear them and they don’t really act like alters or voices in my head in the theyre just weird alters way

help

-

[strangecripple]

I saw a post saying that stimulants for ADHD are life saving medications because they reduce car crashes and while stimulants are very important for people with ADHD they just... aren't life saving.

some medications you will die without. stimulants for ADHD are not on that list.

when other disabled people talk about life saving medication we don't just mean "very important" we mean "life saving"

I would die of organ failure caused by inflammation from lupus if I didn't have my biologic. diabetics would die of diabetic ketoacidosis without insulin. people with asthma would suffocate to death without their inhalers. that is what it means to have a life saving medication.

you can emphasize the importance of a medication without comparing it to truly life saving medications. it just comes across really insensitive when you compare lower risk of car crashes to guaranteed death without a medication

like, the shortage of stimulants is absolutely detrimental to people with ADHD but it's not comparable to a shortage of a life saving medication. without a stimulant people with ADHD would still live, without insulin diabetics would die. when stimulant prices are inflated and people can't access them it is hard but it does not equate to death. when people with life threatening autoimmune diseases can't afford their medication it does equate to death.

if you want to talk about the importance of stimulants for people with ADHD and the negative effects of the shortage that's great! but refer to the medication correctly- it's life changing, it's not life saving

[strangecripple]

Psychosis feels like unraveling

Psychosis makes me feel like everything is threatening, even objects

Psychosis feels like everything I think and feel is liquid and blending together, leaving me confused

Psychosis feels like my brain has disappeared and left a big blank space where no thoughts form

Psychosis makes me feel like someone is inside my body, touching and grabbing me underneath my skin

Psychosis feels like being controlled by an outside force

Psychosis feels like reality and you yourself is disintegrating

Psychosis feels like everything is simultaneously fake and more real than usual

Psychosis feels like spiraling through an endless cycle of thoughts

Psychosis feels like being fragmented

[strangecripple]

Hey guys if you've ever heard the quote "crazy people don't know that they're crazy", i need you to know that this isn't always true, you can know you're experiencing psychosis, you can know something isn't right, and saying "well if I think I'm crazy, I'm probably not, because crazy people don't know they're crazy" doesn't help you at all.

Some people in psychosis definitely don't realise they're crazy, it's different for everyone, if someone has very intense delusions then it might be very hard to reassure them that it's their mental illness.

But a lot of people don't even have delusions and just have hallucinations or they have dissociative problems, but they still recognise something is wrong.

Don't gaslight yourself, if you think something might be wrong, if life is getting more difficult because of it, find someone to speak to, so you can hopefully get some help and it won't get worse.

Disclaimer: obviously I'm not a doctor, and also I recognise how difficult it is to get in to see a good psychiatrist or psychologist these days, I wish I had better advice for that part but I'm struggling too. It might help to just find a trauma informed counsellor, they might be able to find someone else who can help.

[strangecripple]

sending love and support & a big ol shout out to psychotics whose psychosis is easily influenced by the fiction they consume. (a classic psychotic experience & symptom is a general struggle in the ability to discern what is and isn't reality; fiction & reality blur together easily) and infinite love & support for those whose psychosis has made it difficult and/or outright dangerous to continue to consume the same media's you loved and cherished. it's heartbreaking! and very difficult to deal with, especially when fiction used to be a safe escape. I hope you find ways to cope and ways to manage that balance between your health and what makes you happy. grounding techniques can help a lot when you feel that first sense of slippage!

[strangecripple]

Being someone with psychosis, it can be difficult to tell others who I’m friends with/know that I actually, really am schizo-spec or experience symptoms.

For some reason when I tell people I experience or have experienced psychosis and that’s a part of my diagnosis, people assume I’m just being “dramatic” with my words or just saying it in the moment. Like, no.. I actually have a mental health condition, I’m not using delusional as an expression of speech, or saying I’ve experienced episodes before as some random thing to just say. When I say it I’m just telling the truth and being serious.

[strangecripple]

Oh you love that musician that wears a strait jacket in a music video?

Oh you love haunted house attractions that are 'insane asylum' themed?

Oh you love that horror movie where the villain is portrayed to be psychotic?

But do you respect and care for mentally ill people who have been restrained because they were a danger to themselves or others?

But do you respect and care for people who are constantly in and out of psych wards, or have to live full time in psychiatric facilities?

But do you respect and care for people who have psychotic disorders, especially if they are poc and/or homeless?

Do you see us as real people, or do you just like the aesthetic of our suffering for your entertainment?

[strangecripple]

Anyways if you use straight jackets and other forms of restraint, padded rooms, in your art etc as someone who has not experienced this form of psych abuse I really really need you to tread lightly. I need you to be fucking respectful about it. If I see it used as a throwaway aesthetic choice or god fucking forbid as a JOKE one more time. I will set shit on fire.

I need you to understand that this is one of the worst things that can be done to someone, that it completely breaks you down. It is generally paired with isolation from other patients, sometimes In special rooms, sometimes stereotypically "padded" (though in real life I've only ever seen thick carpet being used, not whatever exists in those movies).

Really think about what it would do to you to be tied down in an empty room, no clocks, no indicator of time passing aside from the steps you hear coming down the hallway sometimes. Are they having lunch? Are they having dinner? no humans around you majority of the time, the nurses just checking on you through a window that you often cant see them through. They might be painted pink, or purple, etc, meant to "calm" you. It doesnt. It makes you lose your mind. You cant even fucking scratch your nose. There is nothing to fill the time. No reading. No listening to music. No connection to anyone who might help you. You can scream for hours, but you often quickly learn that the more you scream the longer they will keep you there like this. The most human reaction to this treatment is seen as proof of your insanity and as a need to prolong this treatment.

that it is often used to break you into compliance with whatever other fucked up shit they want to force on you. You dont want to take your meds? Well we cant legally force them down your throat (at least in some places I guess) but we CAN tie you down for a shit ton of time and the only way we will let you go is if you "consent" to taking your meds.

Your OC, your fucking blorbos, whatever, laying in a padded room tied up might be funny to you, isnt it so hilarious that they're (treated like) "one of those crazies". Look at this funny picture hihi. Sitcoms use this shit too. Psych ward, padded room, restraints, cue the laugh track.

But as one of those crazies we can usually tell when you want to actually depict our suffering and recognize it as such, give it the gravity it deserves. and when you only see this intense abuse as a funny thing or an aesthetic. And both are absolutely disgusting. Is this necessary? Is it worth more than preserving our dignity after the fact with treating our trauma with the seriousness and weight it deserves?

[strangecripple]

Psychosis is so much more than hallucinations and delusions.

It's disorganizing phrases and sentences. Instead of saying "I lost my bag" you end up saying "I bag my lost".

It's saying something out loud and hearing it echo in your head, only to completely forget what you said, or why.

It's lacking words and the ability to organize them in a sentence so that they make sense.

It's thinking you wrote something only to find out you wrote something else.

It's suddenly losing track of what you were telling someone, or thinking.

It's unknowingly misreading words, somehow sensing the sentence doesn't make sense, reading it again and realizing you read half the word or a completely different word.

It's your mind going blank and feeling a need to stay still and stare at nothing in particular.

It's repeating words and phrases for no apparent reason.

It's having an insight or remembering something you want/have to do only to lose it within seconds.

It's not being able to tell if something actually happened or it was a dream.

It's not being able to tell if a memory was a dream, a made up story/memory, or an actual situation in which you were experiencing positive symptoms.

It's losing track of time, feeling it goes too slow or too fast, or that it freezes.

[strangecripple]

You are not a bother. You are not a burden. You are not a waste of space. You are not annoying every person you talk to. Your existence matters. Your presence makes a good difference.