strangeunsettlinghordeoflemons

[strangeunsettlinghordeoflemons]

:(

my family believes anything some grifting putoluto tells them, i fear

womp womp... for me

[strangeunsettlinghordeoflemons]

TW: One Sensitive Angel (me) Has Been Forced to Vent With Vile and Coarse Language

I'm soooooo fuuuuuuuuuuuuckkkkkkinggggggggg tired of my sister (I've never written out cuss words like this but i'm feeling very angry and i want to express it).

So I agreed to drive with her to pick up her roommate to come stay with us for a week. It's a four and a half hour drive, so nine hours there and back.

The day before, she asked me to give up my room for the week for her roommate. I wouldn't have minded (i'm kind and self-flagellating like that) but she never considered for a second giving up her own room. When I said no, she yelled at me for a couple minutes and then she didn't talk to me until I said yes. I can't FUCKING stand it when she gives me the silent treatment like that. I feel so fucking guilty whenever she wants me to.

Then, she wanted to talk about the music situation for the car. Apparently, my idea of whoever's driving decides the music isn't good enough because my music is arsenic to her ears, so she suggested finding a playlist on youtube such as "Old Money Music".

WTF >>>>>>>:::::::((((((((

I dont wanna listen to some random playlist on youtube. When im driving, which im sure is gonna be most of the trip, i want to listen to my music

Im already spending the weekend driving nine hours and giving up my bedroom for a week, like what the fuck

I don't really care about listening to music i dont want to listen to, one time i listened to my dad make work calls for a trip. What upsets me is how much of an a hole my sister is. Give up your room before you shun me for not giving up mine and dont act like me spending nine hours in the car is some God-given right you have. If you dont want to listen to my music, just wear fucking ear plugs or ignore it like what the fuckk

[strangeunsettlinghordeoflemons]

i feel better now

read some manga and silenced my head, now it's all sadness without the anger

still, i don't know how i'm ever gonna be able to come out or be myself around them

if i somehow do, i know i'll be even more stilted and closed off with them than i am now

maybe they'll surprise me

[strangeunsettlinghordeoflemons]

feelin like i'm at my limit of bigotry :/

I'm home from school for the summer and I honestly am so close to snapping (not really, i could never snap) at my family for all of their bigotry.

My mom's close friend's daughter, also my amazing childhood babysitter, is getting married to a woman. And I am so tired and saddened about hearing how same-sex marriages just don't align with my parents' values and that that's not what God wants for her

I love God and Jesus, and they want the world to feel happiness and be kind, they would be fujoshis for gay people!!!

Also, racism :(

I used to think that my family was very Southern white, like I even have cousins that married each other (first cousins too...), so I thought our family was very outwardly racist but with good food. But now I've taken them to two different amaaaazing restaurants and they didn't like either. Last week, I took them to a Filipino restaurant and it was literally so so so amazing, but my mom complained while we were eating.

Then, for dinner that day, we went to an "American" restaurant, with Trump memorabilia and Blue Lives Matter posters everywhere, and they all said "it was amazing 10/10"

My chicken sandwich there was good but the homemade chips they had weren't that great. And I was just sick of them saying stuff like "Oh we need to go to an AMERICAN place" or "I like AMERICAN food"

My momma's still a world-class chef, but now I've learnt that they all have really bad taste in food

Anywayyyyyy, times like these make me wanna punish them by talking about how much internalized homophobia and self-loathing I've had/have

[strangeunsettlinghordeoflemons]

The dream I had last night (it was not fun)

Last night, the part of my dream that I remember was me going to one of my classes for the first time... two weeks before the end of the semester. It was really awkward and the professor was really personable and knew all the other students.

Also, it was a class about the Japanese conquest and colonization of Mexico and one of the main talking points was how MLP depicted it, so not the most realistic.

Something that was super realistic was going to a youth group meeting and having one of the women there say "I don't like the women in the Bible. They're all tramps." Unfortunately, I've had youth group experiences like that in real life :(

Also during youth group, there was a game similar to chicken where people inched their hands closer and closer down into the toilet. It was assumed that whoever ended up touching the water would contract a biblical disease like leprosy.

Overall, not a good night. The dreams lasted forever and they were disgusting and anxiety-inducing. I hate how often I dream about not turning something in or forgetting to come to class >;(

Tonight, y'all need to do better on the dream front

[strangeunsettlinghordeoflemons]

10 posts! Wooowww!!!

uh oh

[strangeunsettlinghordeoflemons]

My Sister has Dreams of the Future, and if I do Too, then the Super Mario 64 Remake Does Not Look Good...

It was a few years ago that my sister told something happened in real life that she seen before in her dreams. Now, it's happened lots of times and I believe that she's seen the future in her dreams. After all, time is just a circle, and, in her subconsciousness, the circle's rigidity might've loosened up.

All this matters because I had a dream last night where Nintendo had a direct where they revealed a trailer for a Mario 64 remake. The beginning parts of the game were available for the Switch 1, but the bulk of it was just for the Switch 2. Also, there was a special event you could do with a PS5.

For the actual game, the playable characters confirmed were Mario, Peach (<3 <3 <3), and Daisy. The hub worlds were the classic 3D style; however, the levels were designed in the style of Super Mario 3D World, as in a 2D Mario level with an extra dimension. Additionally, none of the levels looked like real places in the Mario world. They just looked like video game levels.

Makes me scared...

[strangeunsettlinghordeoflemons]

"This is going into evidence" ~Custom Wood Burning

[strangeunsettlinghordeoflemons]

TW: A Beautiful & Magnificent Angel (Yo) is Experiencing a Tiny Tear of Sadness

I'm feeling kinda sad and disappointed knowing I'll never get to experience the kind of fantasy quests and heroes' journeys that I read and dream about.

Obviously, I hate violence and peoples' suffering and I wouldn't to live in any kind of dark fantasy world (honestly, it feels like the real world is just dark fantasy without the fantasy) but I want to experience adventure and explore the world!

Maybe more than anything, I want to know that I have grown, to look back and see a clear character arc (a positive one please). And in life, that's just not a thing. I know I've grown a lot in the past few years (from college, starting therapy, and letting go of some internalized homophobia) but I still feel like the same person I've always been.

Anyway........at least we have indoor plumbing

[strangeunsettlinghordeoflemons]

Thoughts on Homophobia

My dad's pretty casually homophobic but I couldn't imagine him ever being fruity. My momma, however, I could definitely imagine living "Good Luck Babe" in another life, and not as Ms. Babe but Chapel Roan herself. I say this even though she is not just casually but competitively homophobic (she has used most all of the normie slurs, not to peoples' faces but still).

I wonder why this is. Why do we associate queerness so heavily with hatred? For example, Ben Shapiro and the many who associate him with being attracted to cat femboys (fem catboys?). The cultural zeitgeist has such trouble imagining a world where queerness (and otherness as a whole) is not hated that it sees hatred and fruitiness as impossibly linked.

In order to create a better world, a world where my mother doesn't tell me that I should jump off the Harbor Bridge if I'm gay (it was just a joke... she didn't know I was gay... it hasn't stayed in my mind ever since and I'm fine uwu), we must endeavor to denormalize hatred not just in real life but in our imaginations.

[strangeunsettlinghordeoflemons]

Where is the love for Ledian?!?

seeing Breloom get so much DESERVED love and fanart after Luigi Mangione makes me want to find a ceo to shoot, just so ledian can get the love they deserve

[strangeunsettlinghordeoflemons]

Bidenflation

I don't really know much about reality-shifting, but I'm tempted to believe in it because a few weeks ago I had the most realistic mind vision of reading Bump (Biden x Trump) fanfiction at a MAGA rally.

Somehow, I had won an essay contest about how conservative values are actually good or some stupid thing like that, and I was given my recognition on stage at a Trump rally. I asked him if I could speak to the crowd with his microphone and, dazzled by my shimmering kindness, he let me. I started off by apologizing to the crowd for reading my short story. Then, I promised that it would not be too long and that it would glorify our supreme leader.

I read the title "Bidenflation," which earned a laugh from the crowd. Little did they know it was not economic inflation that I spoke of.

My story began with the VP (I can't remember his name right now, lol) admiring the sunset palette of Trump, with his orange skin, golden hair, white un-spray tanned skin, and piercing blue eyes. In the story, he referred to him as Trump-senpai. But then, Mr. VP noticed that Trump was much bigger than usual. Of course, at first he assumed it was his bulging golfer's muscles, but then he heard the sounds.

"Hee hee! It's so big and spacious in here Donald-chan! >u<"

After that, my vision ended and I was returned to the monotony of a world where president yaoi inflation was banished to the outskirts of society. For a glorious instant, though, I read inflation fanfiction to a shocked yet probably intrigued crowd.

[strangeunsettlinghordeoflemons]

i do NOT...Slay

Call me fear, because I'm about to slay some minds 😼

[strangeunsettlinghordeoflemons]

Ermmm.... Ma'am. You can't put that there.... sigh

I'm trying to think of something to say, but I've got nothing lol

I only started tumblr because I wanted to not rot away consuming mindless content without actually creating anything of value, but now I don't know what to post o_0

I also created a tumblr because I was entertaining the delusion that millions of tumblrinos across the world would hang onto my every word as this generation's C.S. Tolkien, which I'm sure many of y'all can relate to

[strangeunsettlinghordeoflemons]

hello

woah

[strangeunsettlinghordeoflemons]

<x_x> /

it's my first post on tumblr... i hope nobody pins me down and slaps me...

tumblr is such a dark and scary place!

>i put first in the tags and "america first" came up, goodness