strawtheskippy

[strawtheskippy]

wow i was so messed up

[strawtheskippy]

Hey baby ❤️

Today, i want you to contact a psychiatrist as soon as you can baby. I want you too do that, not for me. But for you. Ive been digging some stuff online and looking up best possible solution to your problem, and everyone is telling that you need to go to a psychiatrist for evalution on what kind of pills and help you need. This is very important for you baby, and im only telling this out of love for you and your life. So you can have a better day and not worry about these things. Don't worry though, this will go over. But you need to get started by taking action and helping yourself, cause no one will. It's all up to US as you know, as individuals. And i want you to take that step for yourself. Please. Consider doing this when you wake up and during the day. It's not hard to take that call, it can save you lots of pain. Be honest with your therapist, and be honest with yourself. It's also EXTREMLEY important that you actually take the pills for your bipolar as ive told in the past. You can't go on and off all the time, so if youve done this, then just dont. Please take this seriously.

Another bonus thing if possible, call your mom and tell her that you need her. You need her to be there for you, and that you are so low that you dont even want to live. Maybe this will help her realize what situation her daughter is in. Cry out to her, make her realize your pain if possible. I dont know if this works, but im just suggesting. as you know, i dont know fully your family situation so its hard for me to judge what is the best decision to do.

I also want to say in the end that i love you so so much baby, and i want nothing more than you to be happy and feel fullfiled in life ❤️ You dont know how much happiness you bring to me and my family with your cuteness and just being "Nia" ❤️ We love you all so much, and you got our love with you ❤️ Thank you for being the way you are, and dont ever feel bad about the way you are. We are all different. What works for one, might not for another as you know ❤️ Thank you for always trying your best, thank you for listening, and thank you for being born ❤️ ❤️ Good night my love ❤️

[strawtheskippy]

Hey love

First off, i just wanna say that i'm sorry i started to raise my voice. You made me very mad by putting words into my mouth that i never said to begin with, but that doesn't mean i should raise my voice. So i'm sorry for that.

I gave you a choice, between choosing a happy life with yourself and us, or a choice where you wallow in your circle of pain in suffering, and you took to defence immediately, and thought that i want to break up with you. As i explained, i don't want that. I want us to be together, because i love your presence in my life. I love you so dearly, and i only want the best for you. But i also know you, and i know you are not taking your issues seriously enough. I'm sorry, but that is the truth.

I figured this is the only way for her maybe to open her eyes and do something about it, so i told it the way i told it. I think it's the right thing to do, no matter what. And i don't regret my words for saying it. It's your choice in the end what you want to do. And it should be a fairly easy choice to make in my opinion. You take your problems seriously, and start properly working on them. It's that easy. "Yes i will do that, for me and for us". Its that easy. Yeah.

Instead you wanted to blame me by saying that i want to break up with you. And yes, it might look that way, and i can understand why you would think so, but after i explained it it should be obvious that was not my intention. Still you said in the end that i said i wanted to break up with you and that we were no more, which was not true. I'm just trying to put things into perspective for you. Like i did with your mother, so that maybe you can open your eyes and do the right THINGS for yourself.

As you said: "just because i haven't taken pills for 3 weeks and now u want to break up". No. That's not it. You have been sloppy in the past too. It's 3 times already that i can recall, where you start going into a rapid hole of even more pay and panic. And i can say them easily when it was, when they happen where you had fallen off them again and needed to buy new ones. This is obviously not good for you, being off them. But it's also not good that you are not being responsible for your own health.

I tried asking you yesterday if you took them, and you said yes. Which was a lie, and thats okay. I forgive you for it. I know fully well that all the problems doesn't come from "you not taking your pills", ofc i know that. You have your issues with your family etc which has no effect on that. But that's not what im talking about here. I'm talking about you just taking it seriously enough. Your health. For the better.. So you can become stronger and happier for yourself. If you can become happier and stronger, and get a balance, maybe you actually will see things in a different light.

When we are depressed and sad, we can't see clearly. I know that. And it's hard. I don't blame you for a second for all the things you are going through, it's so painful and horrible. And i wish i could do more so that you could be lead a happier life. But i'm doing everything i possibly can on the side, and when you are not willing to walk the last mile and don't do that. You understand it's painful for me too? What do you expect me to do, if you can't do the last mile? I'm not just stand by and watch you ruin yourself. It's very very painful. But it's nothing compared to the pain that you are feeling. That's WHY. I said the words i said, so you maybe can change and start working on it.

I only say this as i always say. Out of love. Not just out of love for our relationship. But love out of you. Nia, the person. I want her to be happy and fulfilled in life. And only you can make that choice to take action and becoming better. Cause there is not a day when miraculously everything is better. No, you need to work on your issues, and get to the root of the problem. Talk it out, and get help from people. Get understanding and validation for your feelings. It's gonna be a tough road, it's gonna be up and down. But that's how it is on the start. But eventually everything will become more balanced.

I'm really sad that you took the choice of playing a victim that i wanted to break up with you, when i only try my best for you. It's an easy choice. Maybe it's tough to hear, but it's the right thing to do in order for you to "live" and not just "exist". If you can't make the choice, and choose to be with me and live a happier life. Then that's YOUR choice.

But at least, i gave you a choice. This is not about me. It's about you. And your life.

I love you, and i wish you all the best. In whatever you do, i hope you always come out on top and is happy. You are very very special person baby. A very very special person. I want you to succeed with whatever you do, cause you deserve it. Please, take care of yourself properly from now on. Go to your sessions, take your pills etc, and work it out. I know everything will be better for you in the end. Just believe in it too, when your ready that is. I'm sorry again for raising my voice. Please don't say such foolish things in the future that i was breaking up with you, when i didnt say that. And i won't raise my voice either. Thank you for trying and doing your best.

Also wanted to say.. Happy Birthday to you love! <3 You are getting as old as me now. Your becoming an auntie already, i'm so proud. 26 Year old bald aunt, now that's amazing. Just wanted to express my gratitude towards you baby, and say that my life wouldn't be the same without you! You are the most special person ive ever met and our chemistry is UNMATCHED. We're so cute together. There's nothing like our chemistry boobie. And i'm so happy we can laugh and joke with each other. Thank you for all the good times and all the bad times that has been <3 I'm sure we will have plenty more <3 Thank you for being such a cute charm troll that we all love so much. You are seriously the cutest person in the world, and no one is even close. Except Nils :P :P :P I will send you 1000 kroner so you can buy your charles and keith, or spend it however you want. It's better i feel that i give you a gift where you can spend the money you want on something taht you want i feel. Have a great day and contact me whenever you want <3 I LOVE YOU and take care there! <3 ❤️

[strawtheskippy]

kenapa ya kalo aku naksir orang sampe segininya

[strawtheskippy]

capek banget lahir batin

[strawtheskippy]

using gue aku saya at the same time

[strawtheskippy]

kenapa semua orang jahat sama aku ya

[strawtheskippy]

jadi alasan aku dulu berantem sama ipar karena belain kakaku. skrg kenapa kok aku kayak jadi yang salah? aku cuma pengen belain dia aja tp aku diketawain waktu aku bilanh ak gak mau liât muka iparku?

[strawtheskippy]

ayo ciuman

[strawtheskippy]

ngantuk beut

[strawtheskippy]

rasanya seperti tercekekkkkk aaaaaaaaghhhhh

[strawtheskippy]

oyaaa gue jga mau apresiasi sama diri sendiri lagi.

yeeepppp even the guy i used to know mikir kalo gw tuh terlalu attached ke mereka dan pun gue juga sering bakal jadi yang paling sedih kalo ditinggal. CUMA tuh sekarang UDAH NGGAK SAMA SEKALI. gue sekarang udah jadi orang yang gampang detached sama orang dan gak takut ditinggal lagi. apalagi kalo orangnya emang gak mau stay sama gw (dalam relationship apapun). energi gw udah abis di awal kalo disuruh begging terus. hahahah and i look happier!!

[strawtheskippy]

“boobie!!!” — yeee gue kangen kadang si gak sering

cuma keren ya dulu mikir gak bakal bisa hidup tanpa tu orang tapi wow look at me now masi bisa haha hehe sendiri dan cuma bisa doain yang baik baik aja.

tapi ya kadang “have i ever crossed your mind?” — “did the love affair maim you too?” huhuhuhu

it was good while it lasted

[strawtheskippy]

oya gue contemplating mau hapus sosial media lagi.

iya kan alesan dulu ngehapus sosmed ya karena itu dikepoin terus digibahin YEE PADAHAL KAN GUE DIEM AJAAA teus yaudah. truss kan cuma punya akun IG doang ama WASAAF TETEP AEEE DIKEPOIN PLSS LAAAAA MANG HIDUP KALEAN GAK ADA KERJAAN?????? GUE BAGI MAU GAK ?????? YEEEEEEE TAPI ada alasan tambahan!!!! yaitu

gw alay banget bjir ternyata takut bgt kalo pada ilfeel soalnya gw jamet

maaf yaxhhh cuma beneran deh gabisa ngilangin sifat alay dan jamet pada diriku ini 🙏🏻👎🏻👎🏻🙏🏻👎🏻🙏🏻

[strawtheskippy]

APAAA KOK GAK JADI MARAH MARAH!!!! yaa gitu semuanyaa tololng bgt TOLONG BANGET INI MAH YEEEE

if you are having a bad day it doesn’t mean that you can ruin someone else’s!

YAAA ITU INGETT LAHHH

bjir gue benci banget pokoknya kek please dong guys jangan gitu kan kita manusian dengan cobaan masing masing tapi masa begitu woyyy SALING NGERTIIN KEK GUYS

tolong bgt yach kids

[strawtheskippy]

saya mah aslina kangen sama kamuuuuuuuu