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The squad is asked what they would do with 5 children with only 3 chairs. Aiolos: Get two more chairs! Aphrodite: They can get their own chairs. Milo: Make them fight for it. Kanon: You only need one chair to beat them all with until they shut up. Saga: ….Kanon, we SPEAK about it. Camus: I would never be near children. Deathmask: Kill two. Shura: I'll never let some of you near of children. Aiola: says the one who used excalibur on a 14 years old with a baby in his arms when he was 11. Shura: Aiolos: Aiola, i forgave him Aiola: WELL I DIDN'T

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Milo: What are some good responses to being stabbed with a sword? Aphrodite: Rude. Camus: Bold of you to assume you'll live in the five next minutes. Saga: That’s fair. Kanon: I'll give you 5 minutes to run. Because i'm generous today. Aiolos: Not again. Shura:…I guess i deserved it. Shaka: That better not leave a scar. Aiolia: You hit me with a sword, i'll hit you with PLASMA! Aldebaran: ok it was uncalled for dude. Deathmask: Excuse me, I’m really sorry, but it seems I got in the way of your sword. AND I'M GOING TO SEND IT BACK DIRECTLY IN YOUR HEAD!! Dohko: Cool another sword for me. Mu: Are you gonna want this back or can I keep it?

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Tea (Main Bronze Edition)

Seiya: Which one of you was going to tell me that tea tastes different if you put it in hot water?

Shun: You were putting it in cold water???

Hyoga: Seiya. Answer the question Seiya.

Seiya: Yeah??? I thought for like, 5 years that people just put it in hot water to speed up the tea-ification process, I didn’t realize there was an actual reason! You think I have the patience to boil water???

Hyoga: You don’t have the patience to microwave water for three minutes???

Ikki: Why are you. Putting it in the microwave to boil it.

Hyoga: Do you think I have the patience to boil water on the stove?

Ikki: It takes less than a minute.

Hyoga: Ikki is your stovetop powered by the fucking sun????

Ikki: How long does it take YOU to boil a cup of water on the stove?

Hyoga: like seven minutes?

Ikki: Just stick the mug on top of the stove in medium heat and it boils in like two minutes. Less if you use a saucepan.

Hyoga, crying: You’re putting the whole mug on the stove??? On medium heat???? Your stove is enchanted!

Shiryu: Every single person here is a fucking lunatic.

Saori: Do none of you own a fucking kettle

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This one for the frenchies out there

[Translation: In English, we don’t say « quatre vingt dix neuf », we say “ninety nine” which translates as “Hurr durr look at me I have a functional number system” and I think that’s beautiful.]

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First bash on this account! Also bonus for @little-miss-of-the-sky for rb the funniest trash trio coded post (I laughed so hard you have no idea)

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Aiolos, 14 years old: Angelo, I need you to swear- DeathMask, 11 years old: FuCk. Aiolos: Aiolos: *deep breath* Aiolos: I mean, swear as a promise.

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DeathMask: I think the kids are talking about me. Aphrodite :No, they’re not Angelo. Don’t be so paranoid. DeathMask: They’re pointing at me and laughing.

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Other sts textposts

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Having fun with textposts

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Caça: Ohh, we're like a big happy family! I'm the dad and Krishna is the mom-

Krishna: Why am I the mom? What gender roles are we pushing here?

Isaak: I know they're probably thinking I'm the son, but I'm not. I'll be the gay emo cousin.

Baian: I will be the son! The hotshot! Whose only dream is to be a star…

Kanon: I feel like I'd be the… fresh out of jail uncle!

Io: And I'm the sassy aunt, who talks shit about everyone.

[Plain text:/

Caça: Ohh, we're like a big happy family! I'm the dad and Krishna is the mom-

Krishna: Why am I the mom? What gender roles are we pushing here?

Isaak: I know they're probably thinking I'm the son, but I'm not. I'll be the gay emo cousin.

Baian: I will be the son! The hotshot! Whose only dream is to be a star…

Kanon: I feel like I'd be the… fresh out of jail uncle!

Io: And I'm the sassy aunt, who talks shit about everyone. /]

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How are they so memable. They would do numbers if they had tumblr. Ultimate shitposters.

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Back on my textposts bs

This time mixing techniques

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I still had some left over text posts so I made some more here. These were a lot easier once it wasn't 4am and also pitch black in my room

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Overly specific French Joke. I don’t even headcanon him from Nice.

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Thank you for your service 🫡

Shout out to all of those Saint Seiya text post blogs, I decided to make one in the dead of night with a really shitty app on my phone

Enjoy