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This is the best one

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in the end all you have is yourself, your comfort fictional characters and archive of our own

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unpopular opinion but i think a ship that's not canon but both halves are canonically insane about each other is infinitely better than a ship that's canon and boring

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little known fact, once you are older & no longer in school, time stops being real. did that thing happen one year ago? two? five? a few months ago? who knows. 

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I love when fanfic authors are freakishly unhinged. "Yes, hello, I am here to write a heart wrenching story about relationships and mortality. My medium is Ducktales (2017)"

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it's so wild to me that you absolutely cannot force a hyperfixation to happen. like you'll watch the most perfectly tailor-made-for-you content that everyone says you'll love and feel absolutely nothing, and then the thing you watch on a whim to fill time will reach through the screen and put its damn fingers in your brain and start rearranging the neurons right in front of you and every single time you're like THIS??? THIS??????? and this happens like every 6-12 months forever

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describing emotions in writing is either “he felt sad” or a two-paragraph dissertation on how his soul crumpled like wet newspaper under the weight of his own existence. no in-between.

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I love her..

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a few more guillaume argot thoughts that need to stop bouncing around my head

the way he was moments from his big finale and he abandons it the moment ashton screams for him

the way he knew as soon as he saw him that he couldn't save him, but stayed just to be with him

how he thought but still couldn't vocalize "i love you" in ashton's last moments

the literary nerd being so symbolic with eating ashton's heart. because he literally felt empty when ashton wasn't with him. ashton literally was his heart.

the way mr. "nobody would dare hurt me" tough guy literally RAN after kissing ashton and then left the most ridiculous non-confession note before proceeding to act like nothing happened for weeks

the way I might even believe him when he responds with the idea of being gay with "i'm not anything." i mean, he's def just shutting down the conversation, but he's also really only into ashton and i don't think gender has anything to do with that

the way he's so proud that he has a system worked out to not get sick off an obscene amount of candy

the way that being in an institution from 12-18 yo has left him so emotionally immature and going a lil overboard on everything

on a very separate note, it is hilarious that lord of the flies explicitly exists in the this canon and guillaume has read it

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underrated yellowjackets scene is misty storming through the door of nat‘s hotel room while nat is mid-relapse, bodyslamming nat into next week, just fucking snorting all the cocaine before nat can get to it and then fighting for her fucking life because, evidently, misty quigley has never done cocaine ever before. zero thought process, zero consideration, zero alternatives. misty quigley woman of all time.

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“I’m trying to concentrate!” FINAL FANTASY XII

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source via @brian-kinney-apologist

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UGH i do not need to keep obsessing over a book with literally no fandom but it's been a few days now and two rereads already and I'm going absolutely feral and have to get this out even if no one ever reads it

I try to just imply spoiler events but there's prob still spoilers

the way Guillaume and Ashton revolve around each other so hard but the timeline is bffs on site for about two years, then SIX years separated and not technically on good terms, then reconnected (on purpose!) before being immediately back on their bullshit and only getting like nine months together

the way Ashton esp had all these dreams of a future together and I'm p sure Guillaume never planned on making it that far he can't fix him but he can make him worse

the way Guillaume's plans totally did not require them actually spending more than like an hour getting pictures for alibis on these trips, he just actually wanted to go on these dates with his bf and be his lil sugar daddy

just the way that these two could talk about literally anything except how they really feel about each other and the comical levels it reaches

all of the things we missed between them on the island like exhibit a there had clearly been a discussion about Ashton taking the first bite to convince the rest of them

exhibit b Will questioning if Guillaume actually hurt himself on purpose and blamed the crash - I'm going w prob not or it would've been admitted to in the narrative when Guillaume and Ashton both mentioned the scar post island. BUT I do think that the way Ashton fretted and fawned over him then is how Guillaume got the idea later to self harm to manipulate him

the way Guillaume is uh, yes plainly textbook psychopath, like I believe he cared about Ashton but because of how much he saw himself in him, like literally might have just seen him as an extension of himself

BUT how much of him was nurture too? Guillaume's insane amount of family money touches every part of his life and the narrative. He actually IS untouchable throughout most of his life because he's that level of rich kid, it's not just the mental illness talking. He literally got away with murder bc of the money

the way Ashton is so deep in denial about himself that he sincerely believes it sometimes… like spending the first half of the book with the guy that describes himself as the "class clown" to Guillaume's "class freak" and just a normal silly guy with his silly murdery bff then like two seconds into the next POV he is described as a bad sign and a creep SENT ME

Ashton's exact problems are just a little harder to armchair diagnose but it's pretty impressive that the least neurotypical thing I read in a book like this was how Ashton just "Xerox's the personality of who he's talking to onto his "Guillaume-personality"" like I get that in context we are comparing the two but bby what his HIS personality

Like just the way that even from the outside they flew past codependent and are swimming in identity issues that are Mariana Trench deep

That said, I keep turning in my mind the throwaway line from Guillaume about how Ashton came to his private school in fifth grade because he was struggling in public school and his parents could just afford to enroll him. We have a decent idea of what he won't do without Guillaume there, but then what was he doing before they even met???

just omggg I've waited my whole life for something this painfully good

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i love characters who do the “i worship the myth i make of you” and in turn dehumanize and get wrong the object of their devotion and love. yes project a thing that does not exist onto a pedestal and kneel at it like it is your altar. this will surely not blow up in both of your faces eventually