studyhardcryharder

[studyhardcryharder]

Sorry, I've been trying to recover from a very hurtful thing someone said to me. I aim to be more punctual from tomorrow. I hope everyone had a good few days though.

[studyhardcryharder]

10th June 🌷

Hello pookies!!

I went to the library today and spent most of my day there. It was genuinely so much fun. I browsed all the shelves then read City of Bones. I thought it would be empty, but I forgot GCSEs and A Levels are happening, so it was quite crowded. I still enjoyed myself though because it was the first time in 2025 that I went there for non-studying purposes, and it was nice to be there outside of the context of law.

I hope you had a wonderful day too!

Bye bye pookies!!

[studyhardcryharder]

9th June 🌷

Hello pookies!!

I went over the first chapter and made detailed notes on it. It is the easiest chapter but redoing it after a few days of not studying gave me the confidence boost to continue with the other chapters from now.

I downloaded a new productivity app - Timelog. It has a very minimalistic design which is good for me because I get distracted super quick. I would love to use Yeolpumta, but it's not compatible with my phone.

I finally finished 'The Beguiled', and just like at the end of every book, I now have an empty feeling in my chest.

I'm going to start 'City of Bones' before bed because I have the entire series. I am very late to reading it, but I'm very late to everything, so I don't mind. Hopefully I like it though because I can never DNF books.

I went shopping today and got super cute pink pyjamas with bows and a massive strawberry mug which I just drank tea in.

I hope everyone had a lovely day!!

Bye bye pookies!!

[studyhardcryharder]

It's so annoying when people say English and History are "Mickey Mouse subjects". I know sometimes they're joking, but the idea stems from an ingrained dismissal of the creative arts. Why are only scientific subjects awarded in society? How come when someone excels in something other than STEM they're not applauded at the same level? I, personally, feel this deeply because I was pushed to law to avoid me studying history, and I'm going to suffer the effects of that my entire life. I couldn't even do history immediately after because of the trauma law gave me which sounds babyish, but it's true. I am afraid of studying. I am afraid because I no longer think I can succeed in academia which hurts. I will never give up on myself, and I know everything happens for a reason, and I wouldn't dare question my fate, but there's a muted anger within me that this could have been so easily avoided. To return to the reason for this post, all subjects are important. They can't compete against each other because they're all vital for society and life. However, in the pursuit of the capitalistic venture, we have neglected the arts which are necessary to breathe life into an, otherwise, cold and unfeeling livelihood.

[studyhardcryharder]

7 June 🌷

Hello pookies!!

I hope everyone had two great days. I didn't post yesterday because of Eid, and I honestly didn't do much today either.

Idk if it's because of anaemia, but the day after I do anything slightly strenuous I get very very tired and end up having very unproductive days. I think my recent burn out probably worsened it too, but it's all good because I just had a sudden burst of energy!

I made a schedule for myself to follow. Idk how it will work out honestly because I'm very good at making plans but following them makes me very nervous, but I shall try my best and hopefully having people to hold me accountable will help 😋. I'm honestly just going to imagine that I'm a self-care/productivity YouTuber being followed 25/8. Oooh or maybe a super cool model. How lovely that the idea of being stalked makes me perform 😍 (jk but not).

Anyways from tomorrow I will have a lot of productive things in my day to report about. I promise. Wow, that sounds daunting now, but no idc because I need to fix my life, and I can't let the idea of failure prevent me from even starting.

Btw how strange is it that after university we're immediately expected to get jobs. Where is the transition from structured school days to work 😞. I just really find it strange.

Bye bye pookies!!

[studyhardcryharder]

5th June 🌷

Hello pookies!!

Today did no studying at all because it's Eid tomorrow, so my day was spent cleaning my room and the house and figuring out how to do my hair. The latter is what took up most of the day. I also got mehndi done which was super fun. I really love mehndi, but I cannot do it for the life of me - my hands are too shaky 😞.

Eid Mubarak to everyone who's celebrating tomorrow and everyone who celebrated it today 🌜

Bye bye!

[studyhardcryharder]

4th June 🌷

(i changed the heading in case I'm inconsistent 😋)

Hello pookies!!

I hope everyone had a lovely day, and don't beat yourself up if it didn't go exactly to plan. Life is already too short so no point spending it ridden in guilt and regret.

Slow morning today - I got back into watching Gilmore Girls though which is fun. I already began watching it and stopped watching it twice before, plus I already know the entire plot, but I still want to watch it. ICL though I don't get a single reference they make. What's a controversial opinion you have about the show if you've watched it?

In the evening I redid what I did yesterday. My issue is that I've vitamin and iron deficiencies which got found out late, so whenever I do something slightly strenuous, I'm dead the next day. Since yesterday I went out I was super tired today and after my acupuncture appointment I was physically done. Not an excuse, just an explanation!

I've been looking at different studyblrs, and they're all very polished and neat ~ aesthetic. Do you guys want me to post like that? I will not lie I will struggle to because I am not a very aesthetic person, oh and my camera quality sucks. I think I might have a mix, as in some days if I'm feeling a bit creative✨ I'll make individualised posts, but I still want an end of the day post like this because at my deepest core I just have too much to say.

Tell me how your day went. What did you do? What book are you reading? Anything exciting going on or even boring? At my deepest core I also love listening to other people ~

Bye bye pookies!!

[studyhardcryharder]

Day 1 🌷

Hello pookies!!

Firstly, thank you so much for everyone who's interacted. Genuinely did not expect to reach so many people so soon!

Today was a super fun day for me. I went out with a uni friend which was much more fun than I expected. I also travelled alone on a bus for the first time which was nice cause got a seat both times.

I'm reading 'The Beguiled' right now and it is sosososososo good. ICL though I'm not the best person to take recommendations from since I enjoy everything, but this book is so creepy and good and genuinely I'm so taut with anticipation [no clue if i used taut correct].

Even though I was out most of the day I still studied a bit. I'm currently studying the foundation of the ACCA. I read through the first three chapters with some presence of mind to familiarise myself with the content. Now tomorrow when I open the book I won't be dying of anxiousness [tricking the brain frfr]. Currently, my aim is to just ease myself into studying again, and this seems to be working because I'm not crying at the thought of working which is a win.

Oh my gosh, totally forgot but I travelled on the same train I commuted to law uni on, and I expected to feel super weird and distraught cause it's happened the last few times I travelled on a train, but I was perfectly fine! So, moral of the story is that healing takes time but that doesn't mean it never takes place. We're much stronger than we think - just give yourself time and space.

I hope everyone had a lovely day, and treat yourself to something sweet and chai if you haven't already 😋.

Bye bye pookies!!

[studyhardcryharder]

Introduction to me!!

Hello, everybody! So, I made this account on a whim after deciding that my fear of judgment and failure is genuinely quite loser behaviour, and I need to get over it before I enter into the adult world ✨[i say as if i am not 19].

Ok, so on this account my aim is to update daily on the productive things I do during the day - for me, that means study hours or walking/exercise or reading time or even a longer show and movie because my attention span has been cooked since the dawn of Covid-19.

A super quick rundown of my academic life is that I have always been a high achiever and got good grades in GCSEs and A-Levels. However, since I was non-STEM oriented I was recommended law, and I agreed because I thought it would be like Suspicious Partner [spoiler alert: it was not]. Long story short, I hated it and dropped out after wrecking my sleep, my menstrual cycle, my mental stability, my relationship with academia, and my relationship with myself.

Now, I am on a journey to improve myself, but of course, it is not that simple, and I think that having to sit down at the end of the day and post that I did nothing will be embarrassing enough to make me have productive days.

Anyways, after this super long and quite unnecessary post, I wish everyone the best on their own journey and life and would love if you joined me in mine!!