stunna4evr

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Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders

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"I got bills to pay"

the bills : 🎀🛍️👛

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I know you mention red flags but what if I DON'T KNOW what red flags to look out for?? Like what are some things that would be consider a red flag and what I should look out for when it comes to the men who I'm talking to (im the last inexperienced dating anon)

okay men to avoid:

- Men who bring up sex talk too soon. There's no reason whatsoever that a guy should be talking sexually and asking you suggestive questions within the getting-to-know-you stages. Not only is it disrespectful, but it shows that he's probably a sex-crazed lunatic and it's best to steer clear. I've had friends talk to men who talked too sexual too soon and they decided to ignore this blatant red flag just for these men to be absolutely nuts. So please, avoid them.

- Men who bad-mouth their exes. I've talked to men who played the victim in terms of why their previous relationship ended and I always avoid these types of men like the plague. It takes an emotionally mature adult to know that it takes two to end a relationship and it's a bit strange when a man is pointing fingers and is putting the sole blame on their exes regarding why their previous relationship ended. Also, men bad-mouthing a woman period always makes me super weary.

- Men who do not have positive male figures in their lives. I don't expect every guy that I talk to to have an amazing relationship with their father, but I need them to have some sort of positive male figure in their life. Why? Because men who don't tend to suck. I really don't have the time to teach a grown man how to treat a woman because of their past trauma and neither should you.

- Cheap men. A lot of women need to understand that just because a man has money on paper does not mean he's going to spend his alleged money on you. You know the traits of a cheap man. He's complaining about "gold diggers," he's always nagging about how expensive everything is, and when the waiter asks if you all would like dessert he immediately asks for the bill without any consideration for what you might want. Dating a man who's penny-pinching is such a boring experience and is not fun at all. If a man doesn't start out spending the big bucks, he's most definitely not interested in doing so later down the line.

- Gentlemen qualities! All women deserve to be treated like a princess. If a man doesn't know when to open the door for you, to walk beside you and never in front of you, and simple gentlemen qualities that he should have been taught when he was younger, then send him back to the streets where he belongs.

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I was trying to be in my “nice girl give men the benefit of the doubt” era but I literally do not care anymore. I like rich/successful men who drive nice cars and who carries themselves well. I like going out to five star restaurants on dates. I like to be spoiled. I’m an unapologetic gold digger and It’s in my right to have these standards forever instilled and to never settle for any less. I’d rather be alone than to settle with anyone who doesn’t match these standards.

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this level of worshipping or nothing

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40 Examples of Self Abandonment 🤕👎💭💔

Self-abandonment means not taking care of yourself, your needs, and your feelings. It's like ignoring what's good for you and not being kind to yourself normally in a way that benefits everyone but you.

Not eating well or exercising.

Pretending to be happy when you're not.

Working too much without breaks.

Staying in a bad relationship.

Letting people use you.

Forgetting about things you enjoy.

Not saying what you want.

Always doing things for others.

Not asking for help when you're sad or stressed.

Being alone when you need friends.

Saying mean things to yourself in your head.

Giving up your dreams for others.

Avoiding problems instead of solving them.

Never taking time to relax.

Ignoring how you look or feel.

Not asking for help when things are too hard.

Trying to be perfect all the time.

Doing things that hurt you, like drugs or danger.

Changing who you are to fit in.

Not being yourself and doing what others want.

Ignoring your body when it needs rest or sleep.

Letting others make decisions for you all the time.

Keeping your feelings bottled up inside.

Surrounding yourself with people who bring you down.

Not pursuing your interests or hobbies.

Saying "yes" to everything, even when you're overwhelmed.

Putting up with disrespect or mistreatment from others.

Not giving yourself credit for your accomplishments.

Skipping important appointments or check-ups.

Holding onto grudges and negative emotions.

Comparing yourself unfavorably to others.

Not taking breaks when you're stressed.

Neglecting your financial well-being and overspending.

Ignoring signs of burnout or exhaustion.

Avoiding seeking help for mental health struggles.

Ignoring your own intuition and gut feelings.

Overcommitting and spreading yourself too thin.

Constantly seeking validation from others.

Letting fear hold you back from trying new things.

Dwelling on past mistakes and not forgiving yourself.

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people settle out of fear. you can get what you want. be patient.

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my advice to girls is to stop feeling guilty about everything especially when it comes to guys. you don’t need to feel guilty for rejecting a guy even if he really likes you or he’s a nice guy. you don’t need to feel guilty about having boundaries or standards or expectations. you don’t need to feel guilty for saying no. treat people with respect but remember u don’t owe men anything. not a relationship, not sex, not your time, energy, attention, affection, not a reply or a message, not even a smile

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My GOODNESS I need y’all to LOVE yourselves. 

Y’all are settling and compromising for friends and partners who don’t care about you at all. What good is that going to do?

People are weird and don’t have any substance. Y’all are seeing potential that they don’t even have.

Stop wasting your time. Be willing to stand alone before you EVER stand with someone who doesn’t even see you next to them.

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Btw it's literally okay to be reserved or a little standoffish. Like especially for women, there is soooo much pressure to be super bubbly and likeable and friendly and blah blah blah, but people still objectify and underestimate you no matter how well you do this. Because its just misogyny lmfao, and the nature of misogyny is that theres no winning. As long as you're not genuinely rude or mean, I promise its fine to keep to yourself and be blunt and straight-to-the-point. You're not a game show host its fine.

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Dump men who breadcrumb you!

Immediately get rid of them. I'm not even joking about this. Breadcrumbing is a way for men to lure you in and coerce your into doing what they want without much effort. Sending cute flirty texts, a Snapchat once in a while, and leading you on with no intentions for you except to waste your time is active breadcrumbing. Men throw crumbs at you in hopes that you'll roll around in the dirt with them because you're desperate for their interaction. There is nothing more irritating than men who don't respect your time and who take advantage of your kindness, don't allow them to continue making empty promises to you and cut them off before the breadcrumbing even has a chance to begin.

My friend had a man like this before, his name was Gene. Lana and Gene started talking in September of 2020 or so, they met on Bumble, he seemed to be a sweet Jewish investment banker, and he was what she liked. I didn't like him because he seemed insecure and he annoyed me but that's for later. ANYWAY, all they did was talk, he was like obsessed with sex and desperate to sleep with her, and she was naive in ways that she should not have been. Gene always had time for Lana during the evening, he was "always busy" during appropriate date times but surprisingly he was always able to text her at night to ask her to come over or to come snuggle. Whatever. They finally stopped talking at the beginning of this week when she asked him to take her out (because again, they'd never met 🙃) and he said 'maybeeeeee' and she got upset and blocked him. She went through six months of breadcrumbing with a timewaster that could have easily been avoided by blocking him when his intentions first became clear.

Do not allow men to waste your time, as soon as you begin to allow it, they'll never stop. Unless they're wasting your time but actively sending you gifts of value in lieu of meeting up or assisting you in other ways, they are wasting your time. It doesn't matter how cute the man is, if he's not actively attempting to take you out and he's not treating you well, he's wasting your time and you and I both know it. I don't understand women who waste their time on men, it doesn't make sense to me. I decided to get divorced in under an hour and called my friend for information about divorce lawyers before noon that day. If a man is stringing you along, the only way to get it to stop is to revoke his access to you and move on. There will always be another man out there for you who will treat you better and give you what you want without you having to move mountains for even a crumb of their affection. Don't roll in the dirt to impress any man, there are plenty of men who will cherish you.

I hate to sound jaded because I love men but they can just be so awful and so useless. Men will waste your time, try to take everything you have, break down your boundaries, and harass you until you just give up. Men can and will become exhausting and that's why I refuse to play their games. If I don't immediately see that conversation with men will lead to something, I end it immediately. It's what keeps me mentally well and protected, the second I see that my time is being wasted, I stop the small talk, tell them that I'm not interested, and I keep it moving. I have limited time and I know that, I also know that I'm beautiful and lots of good men who have what I want also want to be with beautiful women like me. If one man won't provide, another will. I always say that because it's a confirmed truth.

My Grandma used to tell me that women only allow men to waste their time if they have no respect for themselves, it was brutal but it was what I needed to hear. If you allow men to play games with you, to waste your time, or to treat you in inhumane ways, you need to take a step away from men and evaluate yourself and look at your reasons behind allowing men to treat you like your disposable. Same with sending photos, I don't bother sending photos of myself to men I don't really know because it's tedious and annoying and I know what I look like, no need for endless selfies. If you feel like you have to send endless photos of yourself and nude photos to a man to keep his attention, just move on and evaluate yourself, take a break from what's stressing you out (probably men) and take some time to relax.

Another important thing is immediately shutting down men who have complexes or addictions. I hate men who have complexes because once you've been dealt the cards, you have to figure out how to use them. I can't stand hearing men whine about their height or their hair loss or whatever else when they can either accept that they have shorty genetics or do whatever they can to correct their shortcomings. What I don't allow is for men to sit around and bitch to me about how their short height forced them to develop their Napoleon complex or how their mommy didn't love them properly leading them to develop some sort of Oedipus complex or whatever. I despise sitting around and listening to men complain because if they're not willing to fix their issues, there's nothing that I can do and I don't want to help rich men with their problems because not only am I not a licensed therapist, I'm also completely unwilling to sacrifice my own health to play that role to a man who can easily afford counselling. If a man has a sex addiction, you cannot fix him and it is not your burden to bear, don't allow him to harm you.

Finally, please know that you are allowed to ghost people, honest to God, I believe that there is nothing wrong with ghosting men who make you uncomfortable. Men harass women like there's no tomorrow, the vast majority of violent crimes against women are committed by men, and women do have legitimate reasons to fear men. I know that some people consider ghosting to be shitty but the fact of the matter is that most women were raised to be nice and to take shit, as soon as you start to see the dark side or the first red flags, take that as your chance to bow out. Is it impolite to immediately cease all contact with someone without giving them any prior notice? Yes. But your safety and your wellness should come before what's considered polite because you deserve the right to stay safe. There's nothing wrong with putting yourself, your safety, and your feelings above someone else's. You have to live with yourself forever and they will never be you. Protect yourself and help keep yourself far away from harm before you don't have that opportunity anymore. It's best to ghost someone instead of potentially being coerced into a variety of things that you don't want to have any part in. You have the right to your own safety.

Lots of Love,

Linsi.

<3

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