stupidthreats

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fuck me i got locked out of twitter due to trying to change my password without having a phone and now i’m back on this hell site

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over the past week i’ve been getting a lot of follow-backs on twitter from people whose twitter presences i really enjoy. it makes me feel really good. i can’t tweet about it though so i’m posting it here

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saint roberto

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ern malley vs pierre menard

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hi tumblr i live in texas now

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i haven’t been on tumblr in months. what does tumblr think of the harambe meme.

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prompts aren’t supposed to be entire plot outlines

There is a woman who is a human ‘Phoenix’. She dies in labour and is reborn as her own child.

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look how bad my blog is i had a post go viral and got 0 new followers from it

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lol why is a dumb post I made months ago about Alton brown blowing up today

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WALUIGI!

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I drank

Hi rumblr

I love u

But I will sestroy u

Luv

Jacob

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damn i was so much better at blogging circa 2013/2014

welcome to the fucking future

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i forgot about how my tumblr used to be a weird conceptual meta-thing about the emptiness of tumblr but this post is still very good even if the faux-academic style is overdone

acatwithadick: the perfect tumblr

my blog is the best on this entire site. it is pretty much the platonic ideal of tumblr and maintains all of the positive aspects of ‘good’ blogs while avoiding the pitfalls that almost all of them face. for example, while most active tumblr users might feel some need to post multiple times a day to maintain some sense of momentum, my only motivation to make a post is wanting to do so, which ensures that no post feels easily disposable. i also manage to avoid long-windedness; most original content, issue-based blogs are full of thousand-word essays that belabor the same point ad nauseum, weakening its impact and argument each time. in contrast, my post date a girl who pees offers a concise takedown of casual misogyny simply by slightly altering its own language, and does so with no small amount of humor. courtship in the 21st century criticizes online dating using similar methods, making its point using no more than a sentence fragment.

also notable is how i refrained from certain discussions that many would feel were overdone, such as those pertaining to miley cyrus or horse_ebooks. at some point, every viewpoint has already been put forward and the purpose of discussion becomes not to prove a point but to prove oneself better, smarter, and more able to warp certain events into representations of injustice without any attempt to actually remedy them. it is, essentially, a demonstration of their prowess as a tumblr user. thus, by writing a piece openly in praise of my own blog, i am being far more honest and direct than the vast majority of tumblr users.

finally, there is my humility. while my aim to prove myself the best tumblr user may be no more admirable than that of the average user, my openly admitting to it does not involve positioning myself as a champion of anyone else or someone who has a deeper understanding of certain issues, but simply as a blogger. i’m better at talking about things, not doing them, and, on tumblr, that’s what’s important.

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Rochester was the first poet to get his bone on, little man!

“The pattern of virtue, Her Grace of Cleveland, Has swallowed more pricks than the ocean has sand”

THANKS, JOHN WILMOT

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my aesthetic

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has everyone seen my wrestling gf

I’m going to learn how to film makeup tutorials

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ADD is staying awake until 7:30 AM because there’s so much happening in the world always and how can anyone stop thinking about it for long enough to fall asleep and then not leaving the house until 6 because there are so many steps you have to take in order to do so and isn’t it easier to just think about anything else