sublimedevil-k - Tumblr blog

[sublimedevil-k]

hi if ur unaware georgia 🇬🇪 (where i live) has officially banned gay marriage, gay ‘propaganda’, gender reassignment surgery and anything ’promoting’ it. a trans model, kesaria abramidze, has been murdered as a direct consequence of this legislation. if you have a queer georgian in your life pls let them know they are loved and let this solidify why we Need pride and hope cause jesus fuck man

[sublimedevil-k]

[sublimedevil-k]

One struggle 🫡

[sublimedevil-k]

I think an extremely important part of mental health awareness and intervention is acknowledging that no, help isn't actually always available. Or the "help" that is, isn't actually helpful.

When I was 22 I hit a wall. I called the suicide hotline from my car so my roommates wouldn't hear me crying. I explained that I could barely shower, feed, or dress myself. I needed immediate intervention.

They asked me if they could send an ambulance for me. They wanted to hospitalize me. I explained that I was a week away from finals. And graduation. If I were hospitalized, I couldn't graduate. The inpatient program also didn't allow phones or visitors, and I knew how disastrous it would be for me to lose contact with my family support system.

I didn't need to be hospitalized. I needed daily solutions. Simple ones, even. I needed a few precooked meals in my fridge so I could use my menial energy to keep my body going. I needed a doctor to contact my school and ask if I could have some extensions on my class assignments. I neededna few excused absences so I could catch up on my lost sleep.

They told me there was an intensive program that allowed residents to live in an inpatient care facility and get daily help with tasks like eating, therapy, medication, and showering, while still leaving for work and school, but it cost $30,000. I told them half the reason I was calling them was because of my financial pressures and fear.

In about 10 minutes of back-and-forth, it became clear that they had no true solution for me. I could go into the hospital and an inpatient program which would interrupt my entire life, and which I knew did not create very good results and had traumatized some of my own friends, or, well, I couldn't even go into debt for the other program. They didn't accept any new patients without half of the cost upfront. So it wasn't even an option.

No therapist or psychiatrists or social workers could fit me in for 3-8 weeks.

So I said thank you and hung up, emotionally spent. I felt utterly empty.

Sitting in my car I realized I had a choice, to live or to stop. Nobody was going to save me. Nobody was going to help.

So I went inside, and I cried myself to sleep, and when I woke up I still hadn't made a choice. So then I did. I chose to live no matter how terrible, just in case things turned around down the road.

It was unspeakably difficult. I didn't shower. I barely ate. I either slept too much or not enough.

But I did survive, and a year later I got with a therapist who started to make things a little lighter for me.

I still struggle now, but things are usually much better, and I'm glad I'm still here.

I just think it's important to acknowledge that for many people, especially in rural areas, and for people without money, which is most people, that the "help is always available" line feels hollow. Because often times it isn't, actually.

But that doesn't mean there will never be.

Overall, we need to build an entirely new system for mental health support in this world.

But for now, ask yourself or your friend in crisis what might make things a little more bearable until help actually is available.

A meal? Emailing a professor? Clean laundry? What might make things a little lighter?

I know that on the very brink, things like this may seem totally pointlessnor trivial. But if you can't stop yourself or someone from falling, sometimes the only way to save someone is with a softer landing.

[sublimedevil-k]

they should invent a hobby that doesn't require potentially destroying your wrists

[sublimedevil-k]

chicos milei planea otro recital

[sublimedevil-k]

Every one should go to bed. Let’s all go to bed and figure this out in the morning

[sublimedevil-k]

The idea that only women can give birth is a misconception. Men can give birth too and that's a mrconception

[sublimedevil-k]

I miss Haiku Bot But they can not be summoned On a selfish whim

[sublimedevil-k]

It’s really something to see a post complaining about how people aren’t reading enough diverse authors about [redacted] and see the list of suggested authors they then give is almost all USAmericans

[sublimedevil-k]

shout out to evil women with small tits

[sublimedevil-k]

it's honestly crazy to me that britain manufactured opium addiction epidemic in china which killed thousands and thousands to economically exploit china, took hong kong from china, etc. yet the brits never stood the trial for that. no reparations, they didn't even agree to return hong kong fully! why tf colonizer sets the rules for when the land they criminally stole goes back to it's rightfull owners? just think about it. outrageous!

[sublimedevil-k]

I made stew. It was awesome. I love potatoes.

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[sublimedevil-k]

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