subtowilllenney - Tumblr blog

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did i mention that i love: THEM

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HAROLDDDD 🥺

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i love ur w2s blurb writing thing

thank you xx I had way more planned but uni is just kicking my ass rn rip,,, there should be a part two up in the next couple of days if you're interested xx

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anyone else miss vikklan severely like i do? they used to be the best of friends and played mc with each other all the time, they used to stream pubg together, and lachlan used to record with the sdmn bc of vik... now it seems they barely talk, lachlan didnt even wish vik hbd :((

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they all look so happy !

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the cutest duo 😩💕💗💞

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the sidemen show looks great

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staying true to my username 

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Wroetostar

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sidemen and friends all look like fucking rodents but by god would I let them ruin me

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tobi wishing vik happy birthday ❤️❤️

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vik and jj are the cutest,,,,fight me if u disagree

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blur » wroetostar (i)

Sometimes living was too hard.

Sometimes Harry needed an extra helping hand.

The others were there to help him.

But most of the time he just wanted him

Everyone has something they struggle with. Whether that be handling big crowds, doing the dishes regularly, or something bigger – for example controlling their anger. Everyone has their own set of problems.

For Harry though, the biggest struggle of them all was getting out of bed. Sure, to most it was a simple enough task, but when you have what feels like millions of eyes watching your every move -- the pressure really starts to get to you.

Harry knew he was lucky. He had a popular YouTube channel and a dedicated fanbase, he was part of the Sidemen, he lived in a flat with two of his best friends, and he was surrounded by a group of amazing people. Harry knew he was lucky, and most of all, he knew he should be happy.

He knew he should be happy, but he wasn’t.

Sometimes the worst feeling of all is knowing that you should be happy but not being able to find that emotion inside you.

He hadn’t uploaded in months. Originally he was just going to miss one week due to his video not being ‘good enough’ to upload. Obviously, this had only been his own opinion; Lux and Cal had both enjoyed the video when Harry asked for second opinions on it. Then he missed another week because he kept trying and trying to make a ‘better video’ to make up for missing a week, only to be underwhelmed with the final product yet again. The third time he gave up halfway through filming.

There hadn’t been a fourth time.

He had to physically force himself to turn up to Sidemen filmings. Realistically, they all knew he didn’t want to be there but no one mentioned it to him. They didn’t want to put too much pressure on the bubble Harry had placed around himself due to the risk of it popping and blowing up completely. They didn’t want to lose Harry, and Harry didn’t want to ruin it for everyone else. They were more important than him anyway.

He hadn’t spoken to Cal or Callux for days, and quite honestly – he’d given up. He didn’t want to face anyone; not his ‘friends’, not his family, not his fans. In his opinion, they all deserved better than him.

He’d seen the comments on the videos. The constant ‘who even likes Harry?’ and ‘why is he even in the sidemen? They don’t need him’. He knew he shouldn’t take it to heart. He really did. But it was hard to listen to that when these people were talking about your entire life. It was hard not to absorb these comments into your mind when these are coming from the people who were supposed to support him.

Harry had heard the rumours about the Sidemen kicking him out – he knew that it was only going to be a matter of time anyway. Who wants to be in a group with someone who doesn’t even upload? Someone who doesn’t even leave their bed anymore? Someone who is never there to talk or hang out with anymore?

He didn’t blame them though. He didn’t like himself -- how could he expect anyone else to like him?

They’d all tried to help out in some form or another; Ethan tried to drag him to the gym, Simon offered to take him back to Guernsey to see his family. The Cal’s even theorised a trip to Ibiza to bring back the ‘old Harry’.

None of it worked though. Harry was depressed – it was really as simple as that.

The chemicals in his brain weren’t balanced in the way that they should’ve been, and as a result, Harry had turned into a shell of the person that he once was.

He wasn’t sure where to or what to do, and to be quite honest -- neither did any of the others.

Because really, how do you help someone who doesn’t want to be helped in the first place?

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george: hows the weather up there fella

will: *spits on him* raining innit

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Drunk Will is the best