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SGKSGKSGK MA’AM

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Frothing at the mouth every time I see a sex ed resource that says "use condoms" without any further elaboration. "Condoms prevent STIs and pregnancy in the vast majority of cases when used correctly" but then they don't talk about what correctly IS

Correct use of a condom means

Using the right size, because if it's too big it can slide off or leak and if it's too small it can break or come off. Condoms usually come in 5 sizes, I'm sure you could find others outside of that as well but in ten years of sex work I found they covered everyone

Using lube, even if you think you don't need it. With the exception of oral sex, condoms should always be used with lube, 100% of the time. Most important lube should be applied to the outside but a drop in the tip of the condom before putting it in is also a good idea

Being mindful that latex is prone to wearing out, being damaged by heat etc. Condoms should be kept somewhere cool, not folded in wallets or sat on in back pockets and should be changed between activities and after about 15 minutes of any vigorous activity. Ask me how I know (a condom snapped on my leg when a client was pulling out, because I didn't change it when I should have)

The penetrative partner should hold the base of the condom when they pull out, and should do so immediately after they ejaculate so the condom doesn't leak or come off as the penis gets flaccid

Bonus: a lot of people think hand stuff can't transmit STIs. Wrong! If you give your partner a handjob and then touch yourself you can get HPV, herpes (low risk), and infections like chlamydia and gonorrhea

This isn't meant to be stressful, and the most common STIs are the most treatable - and often curable - but getting gonorrhea in your eyes after a facial still extremely sucks and yet no one talks about the fact that any mucous membrane can be effected, not just your genitals (yes this includes your mouth and throat)

In ten years of doing sex work where I saw 10 clients a day most of the time I've had 4 condom fails ever. One was what I mentioned above when it snapped on my leg, one was a client on top of me didn't get off fast enough after he finished and the condom came off, and the other two were a Glyde brand magnum that was inexplicably twice the thickness of a regular condom and didn't stay put on anyone so I suggest just avoiding Glyde entirely (their water based lubes also stain fyi). With all other brands correct use = extremely safe

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choso and this took so long cause i finally drew my husband so it had to be right and im really happy with it!!!

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Would you believe this wisdom came from Facebook? Anyway send this to anyone using conservative rhetoric in leftist spaces.

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if you’re a white creator and your brown/black characters are always sassy, reckless, aggressive or cold and your white characters are always soft, demure, shy and introverted you should think about maybe why you did that

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then i did hiromi higuruma and got shadowbanned on tiktok for it!

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This is a rant about the Scientific American diagram on intersex

This diagram makes the rounds periodically as an illustration of how sex development is complicated. Unfortunately, I don't think people really give it a close look, because it is incredibly intersexist.

The first thing to know about this diagram is it advocates for intersex genital mutilation. Here are actual boxes in the diagram:

"Genitals can be modified to look more typically female" is written in the part about how CAH looks at birth. "Dysgenic gonad and testis can be removed and genitals modified to look female" is under MGD at birth. "Dysgenic gonad can be removed and genitals modified to look male" is ALSO under MGD at birth and under PAIS.

Let's be clear here. This diagram is advocating that *babies* should be put through genital mutilation that causes permanent nerve damage, just so the babies can look "normal". 🤬

It also advocates removing gonads from babies, because they're the "wrong" ones. 🤬

The same diagram also advocates putting intersex youths on HRT to "promote (male/female) characteristics" or "regulate effects of [one's natural but apparently incorrect] male hormones". Again, coercive medical shit used to try and make our bodies conform to perinormativity without regard for our bodily autonomy, gender identity, goals, etc. 👀

Speaking of gender. The text that looks like the title of the diagram is the infobox on "the gender spectrum", which visually makes this seem about gender rather than sex. 🤨 This infobox also sucks: it defines trans, cis, and nonbinary, without any regard for how intersex people identify. I assume it's there to try explain to ignorant people that intersex is not gender, but in doing so it totally forgets that intersex people have gender and we often don't fit into these definitions of trans/nb/cis! It really reflects a view that intersex people aren't people with experiences and identities, we are just anatomical oddities. 🙃

The descriptions in the diagram are also gratuitously gendered. Like, "male hormones" are used rather than androgens, "female hormones" are used rather than estrogens, and there's vague shit like "male characteristics" (which ones?). 👀

Unsurprisingly, intersex variations are referred to by their pathologizing names, and they're called "intersex conditions" rather than variations. Language in the diagram throws around loaded shit like "biological male" (as in, intersex people are not). 🙃

Altogether this is deeply intersexist diagram, and it's upsetting every time I see it make the rounds. This is not the pro-intersex diagram people seem to think it is. 😩

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Holy ground

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Happy pride month to my dad. When I came out as bi to him, this man googled what it ment, look at me and said "ohh. Yeah. You get that from me. You'd have far more siblings of I only shaged women." And went right back to his work emails.

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the fact that theres a lot of films about how ‘hyperfeminine beautiful women have substance too!’ which is great. slay. whatever. misogyny affects everyone, dont tear down other women, yada yada. all that is great. TRULY.

but also.

theres seems to be this huge mass delusion that movies like Legally Blonde, and now Barbie, are countering some massive hoarde of movies about how femininity is evil and being beautiful is a crime or something.

and for sure the hot pink megabitch bimbo is a trope, but like. the “not like other girls” girl is ALWAYS hot too in all those movies.

meanwhiles theres like. zero films starring actually fat women who stay fat, or actually ugly women who stay ugly.

and that makes sense i mean. how would they sell any products like that.

“hyperfemininity is okay” messages are important mostly in spaces where women are tearing other women down.

the extremely rare “non-feminity of any kind is okay” would threaten the actual patriarchy as a whole, and several economic industries in the process, which is why they dont make movies like that and if they do, they dont gain a lot of support or traction.

its not to say that these pink camo badass movies are wrong, or that their message isn’t necessary.

it just always strikes me as funny when i remember that while there are plenty of movies that show it’s okay to be feminine, NO major hollywood movie i can think of has ever truly said as its main message that its okay to SPURN beauty expectations and traditional femininity entirely. Key word there.

Because. Sure, there’s Lady Cop movies or Lady Coach or Lady Horseback Rider or Lady Pirate or Lady Baseball Player or even Lady Construction Worker even, women doing masculine things. But the women doing them are still all beautiful, all thin (usually), all hairless and feminine in every other aspect except for the plot point area. In fact, its usually explicitly stated that her doing these things doesnt make her less feminine!! Which begs the question… why is that so important? Why are we always reassured that her femininity is preserved?

You can be feminine and xyz.

You can be a girl and xyz.

Why is the first label so sacrosanct?

Idk, I’m feeling inspired. @ verilybitchie on YT released another amazing video essay and she talked about it and other amazing stuff that spoke exactly to how I felt stepping out of the theater. Check her stuff out.

Also as a plus for nuance, she’s a transwoman so if that isnt enough to scare terfs off this post I don’t know what will, but scamper.

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reblog to cast level 5 spell: everyone who reads this gets a full night sleep

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and somehow its only wednesday?

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This scientist crafts stunning visual art through chemistry.

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Shop , Patreon , Books and Cards , Mailing List

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👏🏻 👏🏻 👏🏻

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they have such different profiles

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what a beautiful feeling it is to finally get over someone and realize that it was your adoration of them that made them so special. without that, they’re quite basic. just proof that the magic lives in you, not them.