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[succubarefemina]

Tatiana could never tell Gavin the full story, for fear of him never wanting to speak to her again. Sure, her ‘accident’ had been a complete lack of knowledge of her own ability, but there was always that little niggling thought at the back of her head that knew that she wanted Harry dead. A dark little whisper than wanted him to pay for breaking her heart. But this was about Gavin, and she wanted to divert the conversation back to him. She shook her head before taking a sip of her drink. “This is about you, my love,” she said, swallowing her drink down. “What I did was unthinkable, accidental, but harrowing none the less.” Looking to him, she half smiled and, with her hand still in his, gave him a squeeze. “How did it happen? I don’t think I know enough about your ability.” Upon saying this, she realised that he might not want to go into details. “I’m sorry. You don’t have to answer that if you don’t want to.” 

Gavin listened to her, especially when she took his hand. He wasn’t sure how she would react, but surely taking his hand didn’t mean that she was angry at him. He nodded to her words, believing that yes, maybe he shouldn’t blame himself, but he did and he wasn’t sure it would ever go away no matter what anyone told him. And when she said she understood, well, Gavin had to know what she meant by it. it was a relief to get that off his chest, but that didn’t mean there wasn’t still something putting pressure on it. And that something was tied up to what he had done those years ago, but it could wait for the time being. “What happened,” he asked Tatiana, offering his other hand to comfort her as she had done to him. He knew the weight of keeping something like this to yourself and the fact that she never told anyone was troubling, Gavin didn’t know what he would do if he had kept it from everyone and told no one.

[succubarefemina]

“But how am I supposed to have you over for Christmas drinks? Or get your Christmas present to you?” She passed a smile and winked at him. “Then again, spending winter in bed sounds glorious.”

“Bah humbug!” Maxwell bits back with a small grin, definitely not good at hiding how happy he was to see his friend. “Tis also the season for hibernation in the animal kingdom – ‘m thinking of going that route this year.”

[succubarefemina]

Tatiana had never seen Gavin like this before, it made her want to pull him to her bosom and comfort him. Before he spoke, of course her brain went into over drive trying to figure out what he could have done, but she kept an open mind as she watched him calmly. Her hand was still on his, and when he looked to her, she reached for her drink, separating her touch from his as he continued. She quarreled with herself as to whether she could take his hand again, but she didn’t. Her eyes met his as he finished his confession, and Tatiana stayed quiet for a moment. More than anyone, she probably knew exactly how he felt. She too had taken a life through her ability, and is still dealing with the consequences. “Gavin,” she began, taking his hand in hers. “As hard as it may be, you can’t blame yourself for this. We were just normal people, living our lives, doing normal things - and then these abilities were sprung on us. We're bound to make mistakes, because sometimes these powers are too strong for us to control. Especially when we first discover them.” Looking down for a moment, she thought about her late husband. “I know, more than anyone, exactly how you feel.” She reached for her drink and took a good swig of it. “I’ve never told anyone about it, but I’ve done the same thing...only to someone close to me.” 

“Okay.” Gavin realized he wanted to tell, he wanted to talk about it, but he had grown up with this unsaid silence about what bothered you. You didn’t talk about it. Sure, you can blow up at someone because something had been bothering you for a while but you can’t mention it. You can’t burdon someone with it, you can’t bother them with petty things in your life. Seeing as it only concerned him, he felt the need to leave it as only concerning him. He smiled at Tatiana, grateful for her friendship. He reached to take a larger sip of his drink before giving a shaky exhale. Gavin opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out as he stared off to the side, not wanting to look at her in the eyes just yet. “When I was young, I did something terrible. I hurt someone.” He looked at Tatiana now. “It was an accident and–and I was just realizing my ability, you see. I didn’t have the years of control and restraint I do now.” He inhaled deeply, not sure how Tatiana would take the next part. “The guy, he… he never woke up.” Years of therapy still made him unable to say it out loud. He didn’t like the way those words sounded. Killed. Murdered. Dead.

[succubarefemina]

“Cheer up, grumpy. ‘Tis the season to be jolly.” 

*Aggressively hates Christmas Carols*

[succubarefemina]

Tatiana honestly found it difficult to understand how someone hadn’t scooped Gavin up and made him a husband already. He was more than perfect, aside from the ‘work being the center of his life’ thing at the moment. She took a sip of her drink, and felt the mood change when he began to speak of his troubles. Tatiana was more than good at picking up on these sorts of things, due to her ability. She wasn’t surprised to know that there was more than work going on for him, it was the same for her really. Placing her hand on top of his, she looked into his eyes and smiled. “I’ll tell you everything, but I want to know what’s going on with you first, you’re more important. To me.” With that, she gave his hand a gentle squeeze, keeping a hold of him in an attempt to comfort him, she had a feeling what was coming next might be hard for him - if he wanted to share that was. 

Pursing his lips he smiled and nodded, grateful she thought that. “It’s hard,” he chuckled, looking down at his lap. “But for you I’d try.” He smiled wider before taking a drink. It wasn’t wine, but it was definitely what he needed right now. Something to let him relax. He felt like he was always on edge, all tense. He shifted in his seat as he laughed once more, but he was uneasy, not wanting to tell her the drama of his past and how it was coming back to him in a way he didn’t know how to escape. “A lot,” he spoke with a sigh before looking to Tatiana, a smile still appearing on his face. “Work is,” he tried, he tried to blow it off as work stress, but it wasn’t and he couldn’t do that to Tatiana, but this was something he had told less than a handful of people. “it’s not even the reason.” His breath of a laugh was more of an attempt to comfort himself, to laugh it off as no big deal. “If I go will you tell me what’s on yours?”

[succubarefemina]

Tatiana let out a chuckle and nodded, knowing there had been more than a need for being comforted behind that kiss. It was blatantly obvious that Tatiana had thought of maybe trying to get somewhere romantically with Gavin, but like he said, things got in the way. “You’re so gentle with a girl’s feelings, handsome,” she said, leaning on the bar and letting out a soft chuckle. Her cheeks blushed a little, as she patted them, feeling the warmth from the alcohol. “You’re right, though, busy is a word I’d use for both of us. I think we both need to learn how to make a little time.” The bartender delivered her next drink and she took a sip, before nudging Gavin’s arm. “So, what’s going on with you?” She gently tapped her finger on his temple. “What’s going on in your head?”

Gavin laughed, hearing it said back to him made it sound rather weird. “It’s more like something that was on my mind that I kept putting off, but I realized I shouldn’t have. It’s been too long.” His drink arrived and he took a sip, enjoying the taste, but knowing these can hit you and you’re not even aware of it. At the mention of the kiss, Gavin had to blink, having forgotten about it. “What? No, no that had nothing to do with it, I swear.” He remembered thinking about it, thinking it would lead to something else the months following, but he started getting busier and busier at work and their conversations grew sparse and it all but left him. “I’ve just been busy, as you have been, right? There’s nothing wrong with that.”

[succubarefemina]

Tati’s attention shifted from her thoughts as a familiar voice called to her. Looking over, she let out a soft chuckle. ‘Try long life,’ she felt like saying, but she didn’t want to to seem too melodramatic. “I’m gonna go for both,” she finally said, smiling a little. “What about you, boss? I imagine your days are a lot busier and tiring than mine.” Patting the seat next to her, she invited Carmen to sit with her. Although she initially had every intention of drinking alone, and allowing herself to wallow - this seemed like a nice alternative. Being drunk and alone seemed to familiar to her lately, especially with Emrys being busy with his work. 

Carmen was restless, per usual. She had stopped by the nearest bar on her way home from work, looking for a little rest stop before checking things out at the power station. Her days were long, and her nights were short, a combination that she didn’t particularly favor. Work dragged on, though, and oftentimes, she’d find herself looking at her phone and noticing that it was three in the morning. The day after those nights, she’d walk around looking half-dead. She definitely felt half-dead right now. Ugh. Carmen took a seat one over from Tatiana, leaving an empty stool between them just for the purpose of keeping things light. The woman had already been here, so Carmen took to assuming that she came alone for a reason. As most people did when they went to bars. And if not, then she could always just scoot a seat over. After ordering a beer, she tapped her hands on the table and glanced at Tatiana, Long day or long week?

[succubarefemina]

Tatiana nodded at his little ‘better days to come’ message, hoping that he was right. Now that her father was passed, she was sure she could have a better relationship with her Mother, however, it could go the complete opposite way. She wasn’t sure if her Mother would forgive her for never patching things up with him, after all, she was finding it difficult to forgive herself too. Keeping her eyes fixed on Gavin. she tried to put thoughts of her family to the back of her mind. “I appreciate that I was even on your list of ‘things to take care of,’” she said, finishing her drink, before motioning for another. “I always miss you, Gavin,” she informed him, swiping her hair from her neck. “If anything, I wish we were closer. But I get that it got awkward after I decided that kissing you was a good idea.” 

Sighing, he nodded, completely understanding. “At least we know there has to be better days to come, right?” He shifted in his seat, hoping for the better days to come. Sooner the better. Hadn’t seen much better since his friend’s passing, but there was still hope for the future. “I have been busy, that’s true,” he dropped his head, a little ashamed at keeping his distance from everyone. It was all for the best, he was handling things, being a big boy. “Never too busy for you,” he looked back up, smiling warmly at the gesture. “You’ve got me now, so you can check that one off things you miss–and things I need to take care of.” He laughed gently.

[succubarefemina]

[succubarefemina]

Taking a drink of her ice tea, she found herself smiling at the fact that Gavin had been looking for her. It felt nice that someone wanted to be in her company, given her recent attitude to life. But Gavin didn’t know any of that yet - and she wasn’t sure if she should tell him, for fear of scaring him off. “I’ve been...better, but I’m still ticking,” she said, tilting her head. “How are you, handsome? You’ve been a busy boy lately.” Her cheeks flushed a little as she noticed the alcohol was beginning to have an effect on her, if only little. Attempting to sit a little more straight, she moved a little closer to him and placed her hand on his shoulder. “I have missed your company.”

“Sounds good,” he caught eyes with the bartender and asked for one himself. He was glad she wasn’t having something like whisky or bourbon, goddamn did he hate those drinks. Far too strong for him. He preferred the mixed drinks or just some good wine. Long Island Ice Tea would do for now. Easing further into his seat, he gave a warm chuckle. “I could ask you the same thing,” he leaned in forward momentarily before sitting straight. “I was looking for you actually. They told me you were heading to a bar and I got lucky!” His laugh was louder this time as he extended his arms out before returning them to his lap. “How’ve you been, Tat? We haven’t spoken in a while.”

[succubarefemina]

Lost in her thoughts, Tatiana almost didn’t notice Gavin taking a seat next to her, until he spoke. She shot him a half smile before holding up her drink and replying. “Long Island Ice Tea,” she replied, before taking a sip. It was more than a pleasant surprise that Gavin was there. He always seemed to be the one who showed up with things were tough for her. In her head, she liked to think that he had picked up on her low mood, but she new it was more likely that work was bothering him and this was a chance meeting. “What’s a guy like you doing in a bar at this hour?” She asked, relaxing her shoulders a little as she let her guard down.

It had been a while. Gavin was working tirelessly, mostly on his own away from the mansion and especially the power station. He was wearing thin, but it was necessary, everything was necessary. He tried not to let the stress get to him, but it was. It was eating him, everything was eating him and he wasn’t sure how it was going to end up. Whatever happened, though, he would take care of those he cared about, that much he wanted to make sure. When he saw Tatiana at his rare visits in the station, it was brief, but he knew he needed to speak with her. Catching up was necessary–as much of a break it seemed, it wasn’t. When he couldn’t find her, he asked and they said she headed out, another added to a bar. He wasn’t sure which one and tried for one nearest to them. It was relief when he spotted her at the counter. Sitting in the seat beside her, he smiled. “Hey,” he greeted, hoping to break her out of her thoughts. “What are we having?”

[succubarefemina]

Staring into her drink, Tatiana watched the bubbles dance together as they bobbed happily up and down in her cocktail. A quiet sigh slipped from her mouth as she looked around the bar. It was quiet, which made her feel even more alone. Sure, she had Emrys, but he had his own things to be doing, and having just come out of work at the Rogue HQ, she decided alcohol was needed. Lately, she had been feeling rather weak, with her Father dying only weeks ago, and not having reconciled their differences, Tati felt rather guilty. But alcohol was a good friend at keeping her guilt at bay.

[succubarefemina]

“I didn’t get to say goodbye to him..”

[succubarefemina]

I am so so sorry for not being around for the event! My mama decided she wanted to decorate the house and as her carer I have to take her places too. Ive just been uber busy and I'm sorry. But I'm here now and ready to RP with everyone. I'll write a post on what happened to Tati at the event?

[succubarefemina]

[succubarefemina]

“Ah, the mysterious bracelet?” She asks, taking a seat near him and leaning back into the couch. “Paris.” She says, cracking her fingers. “I followed a rogue lead while I was there, turned out to be nothing. Wasn’t worth it. Paris was lovely though.” She eyes him for a moment before leaning forward. “Do you ever feel like they don’t need you around here?”

@Rogues

“Not a whole hell of a lot, if you’re asking.” He sighs loudly and shifts his position on the couch that he’s taken over, annoyed that he isn’t allowed to smoke indoors. “They’ve found some Nexus doodad that they’re messing with, but I don’t get called in for that sort of shite. Don’t need a thief for that. Where’ve you been then that you haven’t heard?”

[succubarefemina]

Tatiana nodded, understanding what he meant. She hadn’t meant to be so forward or aggressive in her delivery, but it was her own guilt for not helping the Rogues out that had caused her the shame. “That sounds great!” She said, smiling at last. “I just didn’t want to go ahead and do things without getting...permission from you guys? I know that getting involved without planning can sometimes throw a spanner into the works.” 

@Rogues