succubus-nightmares

[succubus-nightmares]

Me: they’re over there opening and shutting doors, they’re tree

Friend 2: what are we playing phas

Friend 1: *is trying to clutch*

Me: he’s throwing cups and plates

Friend 2: he’s hunting he’s hunting

Me: you should probably check switch for uv

Friend 1: *dies* SHUT UP. I CANT HEAR CAUSE YOU SHIT HEADS ARE YAPPING AND I DONT WANT THIS JETT TO ACE

*silence*

Me: guys, I think I’m just gonna mark down in the journal that it’s a demon

[succubus-nightmares]

Friend 2: and then after my nap we can lock in on valo

Me: …you sure you want to play that?

Friend 2: what? You don’t have fun on valo anymore? I though you’re always having fun /teasing

Me: No because here’s what’s gonna happen. We’re gonna get a dogshit map first thing, we’re gonna have bricks for teammates, on round 3 you’re gonna get one tapped right after peeking something stupid and you’re gonna say “I’m done, I’m done with this stupid ass game, it’s pissing me off”. Then at about round 7 friend2 is gonna start yelling at our teammates who are then gonna start yelling back. Everyone is gonna start arguing I’m gonna be crying in a corner, we’re gonna lose easy rounds, we’re gonna lose the game. Friend2 is gonna crash out, close the game. Friend 1 is gonna laugh and say “you’re gonna let that get to you? Cmon run it back” friend 2 is gonna listen and THEN WERE JUST GONNA DOOM QUEUE CAUSE THATS ALL WE DO /nm

Friend 1: *is dying laughing* holy shit they’ve got the whole script

Friend 2: alright fuck scripts, take that script? Shredder. We’re switching it up, Nyx you crash out and fight the teammates we’ll hold hands and cry in a corner

[succubus-nightmares]

*the score is 9-12 and I’m in a 1v5*

Friend 2: well good luck I guess

Me: okay 🥹

Me: *gets fed 3 kills* wait- they’re throwing

Friend 1: holy shit wait- if you win this I’ll suck your futa cock, if you win this I’ll suck your futa cock

Me: you’ll suck my WHAT

Friend 2: I SECOND WHAT HE SAID ILL SUCK IT TOO, TOES, FUTA COCK, FINGERS, WHATEVER YOU WANT

Me: *ends up getting the other two, successfully getting an ace, and defusing*

Friend 1/2: holy shit they threw. whip it out, rn.

Me: 🥹 I’m scared

[succubus-nightmares]

Friend 1: what happened A main

Friend 2: I got stunned by the smoothie mix

Me: guys please- it was one time

*1 month previous*

Me: *throws wingman and for the 4th time in the past 5 rounds has hit an invisible pixel of a corner causing him to run the wrong way* THATS IT. IM TURNING YOU INTO A SMOOTHIE

Friend 1: hey since when did you become funny 😞

[succubus-nightmares]

Context: we have been losing the coin flip of good teammates in comp so we’ve been playing a lot of phasmophobia and today demonologist

Friend 2: *is hiding in a wardrobe with tarot cards*

Me muffled through a wall: mraw meow mrawww that’s what you sound like >:D

*Ghost hunt starts*

Me still muffled through the wall: IM SORRY *joining him in the wardrobe*

Friend 2: *struggling not to die laughing* I promise I didn’t pull any cards, you pissed the ghost off by yourself

[succubus-nightmares]

Lowkey tryna figure out how/if I can fit “shut up and be a good boy” or some variation as my valorant name

[succubus-nightmares]

Us: *wins*

Reyna: *in team text* kj you have the worst duo, he’s so shit, just baits for kills

Me: *is confused and playing solo* 😭?

[succubus-nightmares]

Gekko: *mumbles something about doing a different smoke*

Me: ping it

Gekko: *pings*

Me: *smokes EXACTLY where his ping was*

Gekko: that was the worst smoke I’ve ever seen

Me: well buddy, congrats cause YOU smoked it. I told you to ping and I smoked exactly where you pinged

Phoenix: the only smokes you should do are nest and main

Me: I was 😃 until Gekko decided he would like something different

I’m on my alt but ladies. Be so for real. If you’re going to ask for one of my smokes and I give you one and then you decide that it was the worst smoke you’ve ever seen that’s your own damn fault and that’s why you aren’t playing smokes

[succubus-nightmares]

I trio a lot when I play valo comp and I just wanted to show our cards :3

(They did not ask to match I decided to match with them)

[succubus-nightmares]

I’ve never been more disappointed in my life :(

I saw the valorant go bundle came back into the store but it’s just the gun buddies, I was gonna get the cards (cause I’m just not a huge fan of the buddies, I mean they’re cute and all just I wouldn’t use them at all)

And lowkey the cards this go around are kinda lack luster :/ and idk why they didn’t put clove

Like surely they’re gonna do another valorant go set cause there’s still agents missing

[succubus-nightmares]

Having 3 back to back to back overtime games is actually crazy (16-14, 15-13, 15-13) won them all but like that took 3 hours 😭

[succubus-nightmares]

Enemy breach musta forgot the GIANT STEEL WALL on ascent 😞 cause we got stunned and heard an Odin but no one was shot 😭

[succubus-nightmares]

I have regrets 😞

[succubus-nightmares]

Hehe Iso… am I right guys? 😏

[succubus-nightmares]

*we are losing HORRENDOUSLY on pearl and have given up at this point*

Friend 2: damn I’d never want to go to a restaurant with you indecisive ass

Me: actually I get the same thing every time I go

Friend 2: That’s call autism Nyx. You know what? I bet you get chicken nuggets and Mac and cheese /lh

Me: T^T it’s good

Friend 2: yeah and then I bet you get chocolate milk with that >:D

Me: BRO stop calling me out, let me enjoy my nuggies in peace. Besides not every restaurant do I get that. I hate Applebees Mac and cheese.

Friend 2: MF get some variety in you

Me: I do……. Red lobster has/had this really yummy lobster/crab Mac and cheese thing

Friend 2: alright…….go ahead you lil tism fuck……. Explain ALLLL the different Mac and cheeses to me. I know you’ve eaten them

Me: bro….. I really want some Mac and cheese with hot honey chicken

Friend 2: …… YOU BIG BACK……….. if you make some send me a pic I need that in my life

[succubus-nightmares]

I was going through my clips yesterday and found a beautiful freeze frame in the bottom left corner of my screen when I paused

I present the enemy phoenix hitting the Gangnam style. (No he did not live, he got flicked on unfortunately)

[succubus-nightmares]

Jett: *says something that I can’t quite understand but I later translated to killjoy your voice is so pretty*

Me: Wait, what did you say?

*no answer*

*2 rounds later*

Viper: *is also hard to understand but I got it* Killjoy

Me: Yes?

Viper: my friend Reyna? He says your voice is very pretty

Me: Oh. Thank you ☺️

Friend 2: this is not how you win with feminism. You’re not supposed to stroke their egos.

Me: listen. Both Jett Reyna AND viper are like 18-5 IM GONNA FEED THEIR EGO FOR THE WIN THESE ARE THE FIRST COMPETENT TEAMMATES WEVE HAD ALL NIGHT