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build-a-bear needs to start a cryptid collection. i want a plush mothman that makes squeaking noises and smells like campfire with a hint of fresh pine.

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I have thoughts about the whole feminist anti-interrupting thing. Like I agree, men do talk over people and it is disrespectful, but I also think there are cultures, specifically Jews, where talking over each other is actually a sign of being engaged in the conversation. It’s something I really struggle with in the south, because up in New York, even non-Jews participated in this cooperative conversation style, but down here, whenever I do it by accident, the whole convo stops and it gets called out and it’s a whole thing. Idk idk I feel like there’s different types of interruptive like there’s constructive interrupting where you add on to whatever is being said - helpful interrupting, and then there’s like interrupting where you just start saying something unrelated because you were done listening. I have ADHD so I’ve def done the latter too by accident, but I’m talking about being more accepting of the former.

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Even if you don’t like Halloween you have to appreciate its position as the sole thing keeping Christmas from advancing even earlier into the year like a cancerous growth

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Shitty choking back tears and patting Jack on the back: “I understand what you’ve gone through as a man who likes men dude. My last girlfriend pegged me.” 

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Bitty: I recently joined the 2 step program. The first step is admitting you have a problem. The second step is ignoring it.

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Julie and Julia au where (non hockey, maybe history teacher?) jack’s therapist suggest he starts a blog to be another hobby for him outside of teaching and working out. jack decides he wants to learn cooking as well, so he decides to cook his way through Eric Bittle’s cookbook and he writes a blog about it that becomes super popular. 

So popular….that the author himself finds out about it. 

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throwback to one of my all time fav lines from jack

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AU suggestion

As captain, Chowder definitively ends the prank war with the LAX bros by filling their air vents with ten industrial bottles of glitter

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au where bitty runs an etsy shop selling various accessories (pins, buttons, hats, aprons etc) with baking puns and jack bought an apron for his dad when bad bob took up baking but the little note bitty put on the email recipe was so cute jack keeps buying shit he doesn’t need and now there’s an entire drawer in his dresser dedicated to baking-themed enamel pins

awwwww love it!

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Bitty: If you can't say anything nice, do what I do: say something that seems nice but later, they're like, "Hey, that wasn't nice." Buy some time.

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Holster: I am a man with one simple mission in this life: To upgrade this fracas into a ruckus.

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building from previous ask -> au where your soulmate (dex) falls from the sky when you're in crisis but on college campuses this is difficult as everyone is Strossed™ during finals and they can't figure out who dex is supposed to be with ... Alternatively Yvaine!dex stardust au

uhhhh I need that stardust au like yesterday

would he still be wearing flannel or the ethereal star robes

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One day Bitty wants to use Jack’s computer to reply to an email only to realize the keyboard is in CMS (Canadian Multilingual Standard) and he can’t figure out how to type punctuation anymore. Like a cruel game of hide and seek. The ? key suddenly types out an é. And where even are those English “quotations marks”? They’ve turned into È. And the apostrophe? Types out a small è. Nothing makes sense. The keyboard is a lie. Bitty ends up throwing the computer across the room.

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Tweet 1 - 2 - 3

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I LOVE THAT THE ZIMMERMANNS ARE ALL WORRIED ABOUT BITTY’S RELATIONSHIP WITH HIS PARENTS.

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You know those petty revenge blogs where people share stories of their, well, petty revenges?

Lardo starts running one for the lols, Jack is her reluctant proof reader. He notices there’s an user who basically is taking petty revenge every week on somebody or another, it’s pretty harmless stuff and sort of amusing.

He looks forward to reading his stories, if only because it’s very ridiculous, like stealing one spoonful of sugar from a friend baking a pie so their pie is never perfect.

Or moving all their coworker’s stuff an inch to the left anytime they arrived late, or the time he went out of his way to park on the favourite spot of a friend, despite then having to walk 15 mins to his place.

Then one day Jack recognises the story, because he was the victim of the petty revenge!

So this is why his local grocery was out of his peanut butter!!! This guy literally went and bought all the stock because apparently Jack has been rude to him every time they run into each other in the hallway of the building.

Jack is annoyed because he didn’t have his PB&J sandwhich before the game and then they lost the game. Clearly this calls for retribution.

But first he needs to find who this guy is, which turns out to be harder than expected because apparently he’s been accidentally rude to a lot of his neighbours… ups.