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sue-slayers · 11 years ago

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Wildfire (X-men Colossus Love Story)

TimberWolf: I shit you not, that is the real title...

I'm Back I pulled up to the gates in my 2013 Chevy Silverado with excitement and nervousness in my mind; was this year going to be the year? My name is Sydney Brewer

TimberWolf: Quick side note, that's the name of the author as well.

Sylvia: This should surprise exactly none of you.

and I come from a small hick town in the middle of West Virginia.\

TimberWolf: Oh, that really narrows it down...

Sylvia: I hope it's the one from Wrong Turn and she's an inbred cannibal.

I have long dark brown hair, green eyes, and ivory colored skin. I am 5’9’’and weight 140 pounds.My body is very long and curvy, yet with my height and weight I can kick some major ass.

Sylvia: Exposition, yay!

TimberWolf: Just say you're white. And good job on the height to weight ratio, I'm not being sarcastic, but what do you mean you can kick some major ass with that weight? That's is in the recommended weight zone for someone of that height. You are not being daring by weighing 140lbs, you're being healthy.

I have been a mutant since I was 10 years old which was 8 years ago, and each year seemed to have gotten harder and harder for me to control my powers. To simplify how my powers work, I will say that I can control fire in any shape or form and become a “fire beast” as my friends call it. In order to use my powers, my body must channel the fire beast within the core of my body. Therefore, when activating my powers I either show small features of the beast or become it fully.

TimberWolf: So you're Naruto?

Features will appear such as the eyes of the beasts, the ears, claws, and so forth. It all depends on how much of my ability I use.

As I pull forward into the driveway of the fabulous mansion

of the Xavier School for the Gifted,

TimberWolf: Uhm... The mansion is the school.

I decided in my mind that this year back was going to be the best year ever. Not only was I going to be able to fully control my ability, I was also going to be able to do it with the love and support of my mutant family. As I hopped out of my truck, my wonderful fiancé Peter came up to me with such passion that he didn’t even give me a chance to say hello, because he took his luscious lips and platted them on mine. “Well hello to you too,” I stated as I pulled our lips apart. “I’m so glad your back, Babe. You have no idea how much I missed you,” he sighed.

TimberWolf: Fuck... This is beyond OOC for Peter that I got kinda sick. He is supposed to be super shy and modest, he would never do that. Hell, Kitty Pryde once kissed him in public as a joke and he nearly blew up from embarrassment. But I guess you didn't read the comics, did you?

Sylvia: You're implying she can read.

JadeDragon: No words........

I had left the school grounds for the summer and I went back to my parent’s house to settle the tension between them and me. My parents have not always been the best supporters during my transformation into a mutant.

TimberWolf: You don't become a mutant, you're born as one. (Unless you're just going off the movie canon then you can, but that's a whole other story)

Luckily, this past summer I have been able to connect with them better and have gotten them to accept me as their daughter again. Anyway, because Peter and I have been engaged for over a year now, Professor X has finally allowed us to live in the same room this year. Peter purposed to me on my seventh birthday

with a beautiful white gold and diamond filled ring. Even though Peter and I haven’t finished school yet, we both agreed to wait till we were both done with college to get married. Yes, waiting till after 8 years of law school is a long time. However, Peter and I have a bond that no other guy has ever share with me. He has been the only guy to accept me as a mutant.

Peter helped me unload all the heavy pieces of furniture and baggage which thankfully to his super strength he had no problem doing. Also with his help, he made unpacking all of my unnecessary belongings easier. I don’t know how he does it, but Peter knows me better than I know myself. He knew exactly where and how I put my clothes and other items away. Man do I love this kid.

JadeDragon: Kid? I thought he was a man?

After finally unpacking all of my luggage, Peter and I went to go find some of our friends. Bobby, Rogue, and Kitty were both Peter’s and I’s closest friends at the school. Without my friends, the last couple of years at school would have been pure misery.

See, my powers are controlled by emotion; mostly anger.

TimberWolf: Do you aspire to become Hokage one day?

My home situation was nothing but mental abusive due to the fact that my parents and outside friends resented having a mutant child and friend for the longest time which caused me to become a very angry and a very self-conscious person. Sylvia: Emotionally and mentally abusive parents are not fucking something to throw around lightly...If you handled the topic with care, then that's great, but reading the quality of this story...do you guys honestly think she could do that? However, being around other mutants and hearing their problems has allowed me to realize that I am not the only one of my kind. Obviously I can’t stop talking about Peter, Sylvia: You don't say?TimberWolf: Painfully obvious. but when it comes to Peter, he is the love of my life. Peter has been the only boy to make me feel like a women. He helped me through my rough past and has helped me create a better future for myself. Peter treats me with such respect than I feel like I could run a 200 mile marathon.

Finally, we reached the end of the hallway and found both Rogue and Bobby setting up Rogue’s room. “Hey guys!” I squealed with excitement. “Hey Sydney,” they both said with happiness in their voice. “It’s so good to see you again,” Rogue says as she gives me a hug.

TimberWolf: I never expected to read that sentence...

JadeDragon: Ummmm.... How did she not die?

“It’s good to see you both too. How was your all’s summer?” I asked with excitement. “It was good. Rogue and I did a lot of summer training and was just able to spend time together,” Bobby replied. “That is good. I certainly can’t wait to start training again. I definitely could use a good run and some combat soon,” I stated. It was true; while trying to mend the bond between me and my parents, I wasn’t able to let the creature within me out very often. Sylvia: So what if you can see the darkest side of me? No one will ever tame this MarySue I have become.There was so much energy stored in my core that I could exploded at least five states over. Peter then explained, “Well, there is school tomorrow. Why don’t we get some practice in after school?” We all shock our heads in agreement. At last, I was back at school not only with my fiancé and friends, but, also, I was back at the place I could call my true home.

TimberWolf: I am so done.

Sylvia: Preach it, Noah.

JadeDragon: I'm going to back away now and leave this horrible oc.

#XMen #badfic #sporking #Sue-slayers #Timberwolf #AbleMabel #JadeDragon #Sylvia Redfern #Mary Sue

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sue-slayers · 11 years ago

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Do you guys have any multiplayer games we could play with you guys with?? :D

TimberWolf: Well yes we do! Able, JadeDragon, and myself play many games. Jade and myself play Xbox quite a bit, and we play a few computer games (and online Cards against humanity).

Sylvia doesn’t play too much, but we are slowly teaching her. Anyway, if you wanna play a game we totally could!

Sylvia: Gah, you guys can laugh at my ineptitude at gaming! It would be so much fun though!

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sue-slayers · 11 years ago

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AbleMable did the Harry Potter thing

TimberWolf- Remus Lupin JadeDragon- Sirius Black Sylvia Redfern- James Potter Able Mable- Peter Pettigrew

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sue-slayers · 11 years ago

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I imagine all of you guys as the Marauders in Harry Potter. Sylvia is James, TimberWolf is Remus, JadeDragon is Sirus, and Able Mable is Petter.

This is glorious and added not only so you guys can share in the glory but also for context. And also, someone should draw this.

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sue-slayers · 11 years ago

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(I meant to ask this with the other one lol) Can you guys do a Harry Potter fic?

JadeDragon: Sweet, thanks! I love Harry Potter :p

Timberwolf: Thanks anon, lol. And yeah, we will find a horrible fic for you. (I think we already have one in mind.) Look for it!

Sylvia Redfern: My child is going to grow up to be a hero, yay! And indeed, I believe since you were our first anon since the hiatus, we should give you a special treat. Something legendary, something...immortal.

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sue-slayers · 11 years ago

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TimberWolf: Alright, let's do this...

"Naruto I'm done with this." The black haired girl said with tears in her eyes.

Sylvia: It hasn't even started, and so am I.

"Inari just tell me what I did wrong. I'll fix it just dont leave. I love you" Naruto said trying to hug her but she pulled away.

"Naruto you broke my heart when i saw you kiss Ino! I'm not going to be used anymore!" Inari yelled and ran out of his apartment

"Inari! Please!" He shouted to her "Inari...."

That night Naruto didnt sleep. He couldn't. He wanted her back in his arms. To kiss her soft lips. To tell her she was beautiful, but most of all he wanted to hold her close in bed and whisper the things he loved about her. He did that everytime she spent the night which was pretty much all the time, and everytime he would do that it would be something different everynight.

TimberWolf: Bullshit. Just an f.y.i, this is the same writer from Poke'maids....

Tonight if she had stayed, he would have told her he loved her eyes when they sparkled in the sunshine.

Her smile because when he would be feeling low her smile made him smile. Her sense of humor because of the time he and Konohamaru where going to pull a prank on shikamaru but Inari got hit with the pork ramen balloon instead and akamaru chased her.

TimberWolf: I dream of a world where punctuation is common knowledge... A fevered dream of a mad woman.

Inari's loyalty to her friends like the time when she took shurkin Sylvia: She sure was “shurkin” her responsibilities to write this drivel. for everyone when they needed back up. Everyone was fine but she lost alot of blood on that mission. Naruto never left her side when she was in the hospital. It took Lady Tsunade, Ino, Sakura, Tenten, Shikamaru, Neji, Kakashi-sensei, and Kiba to get him to go home and rest. He loved her to death.

Naruto would protect no matter the cost, and Inari would do the same for him, but now he didnt have his girlfriend.

He wanted her to stay so bad. He took out his hidden sake bottle and started drinking. He drank until he thought she was gone for the night but he could still feel her there some how. He got a kuneai and started cutting his wrists.

TimberWolf: Really? You're really doing that? What made you think that Naruto would be angsty kid that would cut himself? He could have been, but he never let himself sink that low. And how dare you belittle cutting? That is a serious thing people do to themselves. I seriously doubt he would do that to himself over a random Mary-Sue....

JadeDragon: That is not something to joke about!

Sylvia: That is so beyond Not Cool. You can’t make light of that shit! And also, don’t mention the weapons if you can’t fucking spell them.

"Naruto!" Inari's voice shouted she was in tears and her mission outfit was torn "Please don't I need you!"

JadeDragon: I thought she left?? Does she have Naruto senses or something?!?

"No you don't. I just cause trouble." He winced and she clung to him and pulled the kuneai away.

"Stop it please Naru-kun. I was attacked" She cried then let go to bandage his wrists.

"What! I'm going to kill who ever did this!" He shouted instatly sober (Thank you demon fox!) Sylvia: “I don’t know these assholes,” said The Demon Fox.

"Their long gone by now" Inari says falling to her knees and bringing them up to her chest and crying

"Come on. I'm taking you to the hospital so they can check you. Ok?" He says putting his jacket on her so she wont be embarrssed.

TimberWolf: Don't you dare tell me this is going where I think it is...

"Ok" she says standing up

*At the hospital*

"Inari makes the third victim tonight. First TenTen then Hinata and now Inari" Tsunade tells Sakura. Sylvia: This episode of Sesame Street brought to you by Lady Tsunade.

"But she's going to be fine right?" Naruto asks worriedly.

"There was now sexual attack just a few cuts and bruises. She can be released tonight." Sakura tells him

Sylvia: Are you shitting me? First the self-injury and now this?

TimberWolf: Why in the world would you even hint at rape?!? What type of attention whore writes rape like nothing?! ARE YOU MENTAL?

JadeDragon: Well said, girlfriend!

"Just make sure she isnt alone Naruto. Ive told Neji and Shino to stay by their girlfriends sides and I'm telling you the same." Tsunade says

"Right." Naruto says right before going into her room "You feeling ok?"

"Just a little upset. at myself." Inari said trying to smile at him but on the inside she was a sacred little girl crying her eyes out

Sylvia: I think the whole point of this story is that nothing is sacred.

"Why?" He asked

"Because I yelled at you. If I had acted level-headed and talked everything out with you I wouldnt have gotten myself hurt" Inari says looking away from him

Naruto pulled her into a hug and kissed the top of her head "Inari I'm so sorry. Its my fault. I should have ran after you." Naruto started crying and Inari wiped his tears.

"Naru-kun. Stop it. Please. and kiss me to show me your mine and no one elses" Inari smiled

TimberWolf: Stop kissing me but keep kissing me.

And as the loving boyfriend that Naruto is, kissed her with as much love and passion as he did one their first date.

"I'm going to find out who did this to you Ari-chan." Naruto said pressing his forehead against hers

Sylvia: I’m assuming they’re wearing those protective headbands, so this scene is not as romantic as she deems it to be. “The metal clinked together harmoniously…”

"Who else got hurt besides me? I heard Lady Tsunade say but I started zoning out" Inari asks her love

"Tenten and Hinata" He replies

"Neji and Shino must be furious" Inari said

TimberWolf: Hinata and Shino, really?

"Yeah. Their right next door do you wanna go talk to them?" Naruto asked

"Of Course!" Inari said "Their two of my best friends Naru-kun!"

TimberWolf: STOP CALLING HIM NARU-KUN

"Funny you should say that Inari" Tenten said with Neji by her side and Shino having a protective arm around Hinata "Lady Tsunade told us you where here too"

"Who ever did this is going to pay!" Neji said more pissed than normal.

"WHAT!" Lady Tsunade said outside in the hallway

The group of six went into the hallway. The boys holding their girlfriends close

"Lady Tsunade whats wrong?" Neji asks

"Sai, Kiba, Akamaru, Shikamaru, Haruka and Lee caught the person who attacked girls" Tsunade said

TimberWolf: D-... Did you mean Iruka?

"Who was it? I'm gonna tear him limb from limb!" Naruto shouted and Inari pulled him back

"She is coming here because Haruka almost tore her limb from limb" Tsunade said

TimberWolf: Guess not...

"Our Attacker was a girl?" Tenten shouted while Neji held her back "Im gonna kill her!"

Sylvia: In which TenTen comes across as unintentionally sexist.

"T-tenten calm down. Please" Hinata said

"I'm normally forgiving but not this time. Sylvia: Of course you are. I agree with Tenten." Inari said with the flames of vengence in her eyes

The girls attacker was brought into the hospital and Naruto knew who she was.

"Fuka! Damn it! I thought Inari killed her" Naruto said

"Me to" Inari, Sakura, and Sai said in unison (Which is way creepy)

JadeDragon: Where on earth did Sai come from???????

"So she's the one who tried to kill Naruto by kissing him?" Tenten asked

"Yeah but I'm not sure how she is still alive" Sakura said

"This time I'm going to make sure she stays dead!" Inari yelled

"Inari calm down or your getting put on meds" Tsunade said

JadeDragon: Personally all the characters in this story should be on some sort of medication.

"Dont let anyone with a wind chakra get close to her" Sakura says before putting a seditive needle in Inaris arm

Sylvia: It's no secret that I avoid anything pertaining to Naruto like the plague, but that made no sense to me. Ah, well-

Inari feels the effects instantly "Night-Night" she says before falling into Narutos arms.

"Sakura! Why the hell did you do that for!" Naruto yells at his teammate

TimberWolf: You put the thing that kills you to sleep, but you never give it the power to wake up again.

Sylvia: The Fault in Our Chakras.

"Because If she isnt awake she wont get hurt anymore then she is." Sakura tells him

"And whys that!" Naruto shouted again

"Because she's having your kid you baka!"

Sylvia: Is this Naruto or Passions?

Sakura yells but before she covers her mouth releazing she broke the vow she made to Inari just a few days earlier.

"What?" Lady Tsunade asked

"Inari came in a few days ago saying she wasnt feeling well. Saying she was waking up feeling sick so when her reaults came back positive for being pregnant she told me to keep it a secret from everyone. espically Naruto." Sakura said feeling like she could just die.

"Why would she say that" Naruto asked

"She was sacred.Sylvia: You keep using that word. I don’t think it means what you think it means.She didnt know how to tell you." Sakura stated "I'm sorry I didnt say anything before"

"Um guys? Fuka wasnt only going after the girls. She was going after some guys too. and Naruto your at the top of the guys list" Haruka says showing them the lists.

"Damn" Naruto simply states

"Inari is at the top of the girls list" Haruka adds

TimberWolf: Of course she is...

"Wait a second. Someone gave it up to Naruto!" Shikamaru said creeped out

"S-shut up Shikamaru!" Naruto Blushed

Kiba Laughs "You must have gotten her drunk to do it to her Naruto!"

Sylvia: Again with the non-con?

Then Kakashi Asuma and Gai walked in with Ino, choji and shizine

"Whats going on?" Shizine asks

"It seems Naruto got Inari pregnant" Shino says

"Naruto got my little Inari pregnant?" Asuma asks before fainting

"Naruto, why is Inari passed out" Ino asks

Naruto glares at Ino "If you hadnt kissed me Inari wouldnt have gotten attacked! It was a dirty trick Ino and you know it!"

"Wait you kissed Naruto?" Kiba asked

"Well I um I" Ino said

"You better not be here when the seditive wears off Ino." Tenten says giving an evil smirk

"She will kill you" Sakura added

"Naru can i have a purple unicorn?" Inari asked as she started waking up

"Yes Inari you can have a purple unicorn" Naruto said as he smiled at his lovely girlfriend

"Naruto take Inari back to her room and watch her carefully" Lady Tsunade said

"Right" Naruto says taking her back.

*In Inari's hospital room*

Its been an hour and Inari is fully awake and acting normally.

"So I asked for a Purple Unicorn?" she asks

"Yeah. and I'm gonna get you one" He said laughing "But there is something else."

"What Naru-kun?" Inari asks scooting over so he can sit on the bed with her

He sits next to her and sighs "Sakura told us about you being with child"

"Oh. I'm sorry Naru-kun. I was going to tell you soon. I just didnt know how." She says putting a hand on her stomach "I was scared Sylvia: She finally spelled it right!I didnt think clearly so I asked Sakura not to say anything to anyone"

"Its ok. Guess I should go ahead and ask." He smiles and puts his hand on top of hers on her stomach.

"Ask what" Inari giggles

"Inari Sarutobi. You are the most beautiful girl in the world. You make my world complete. So what I have to ask you is. Will you marry me?" He asks smiling taking out a satan box

Sylvia: I KNEW this shit came straight from Hell!

revealing a silver band with a heart shaped dimiond in the center with smaller dimonds around it

"Oh Naruto! Its Beautiful! But it looks expencsive" Inari said looking at the ring

"I bought two months ago but I was waiting for the right moment to ask and it wasnt that especsive" He smiled

Inari hugged him tightly "You know I'll marry you Pregnant or not"

Naruto smiled at the love of his life and kissed her lovingly yet gently

Someone knocks on the door.

"Come in!" Naruto says not letting go of Inari

"Hey Dope" Sasuke said

Sylvia: No, Sasuke, get out of here while you can! You're the only one in this train wreck I still remotely care about!

"Sasuke your the first to know" Naruto says

"Know what?" Sasuke asked

"Naruto and I are engaged" Inari says smiling.

"Are you sure thats the right move?" Sasuke asks

"She's Pregnant with my kid emo" Naruto says

JadeDragon: Save me from this monstrosity, bunnies!

#Sue Slayers #Badfic #Sporking #Hot damn #Naruto #this is ridiculous #Timberwolf #AbleMabel #JadeDragon #Sylvia Redfern #WTF

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sue-slayers · 11 years ago

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Thought You'd Seen the Last of Us?

After a lengthy hiatus, we are officially back and ready to party! A little thing called life got in our way; in between work and college and all those odd things, there wasn't a lot of Slaying to be done. But that's about to change! We have a few fics lined up in our drafts (including a Fable one that was sent in ages ago---sorry about that!) and we're always ready for asks and the like. We're glad to be back!

<3 ~ Sylvia

#sue-slayers

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sue-slayers · 11 years ago

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She’s Just a Hunk’a Hunk’a Burnin’ Hate

Ever since our influx of Naruto-related questions a couple nights ago, I feel like making a Storytime With Aunty Sylvie is just necessary to understand why this girl is the bane of my damned existence. Gather ‘round, dolls, and I can show you the world filled of Weeaboos and horrible friendships. As always, lots of swears, a few pictures/GIFs, and a raging-mad Sylvia lie below the cut, because I'm not lying when I say it:

Myrtle is the bane of my fucking existence, and nobody can tell me otherwise. I can think of her and my blood pressure takes a dramatic spike. She’s one of those people that never progressed beyond fifth grade in terms of maturity. She’s almost 19, and her fanfictions are worse than the stuff my 11 year old sister writes in under five minutes.

It’s not even the fact that she’s a bad author that offends me. It’s the fact that I’ve told her countless times: “Myrtle, I really don’t like The Vampire Diaries”, “I’m kinda over Naruto now, Myrtle”, “I am never complaining about Twilight again!”, “It’s Monster High, Myrtle, you shouldn’t be writing a 50 Shades of Grey AU for it”, “Can we at least give my character two seconds of time, Myrtle? No? M’kay then”, “Where’s this supposed to go? I can’t see the plot thread from here” (Of course, I can see exactly where it’s leading---straight up her ass.) But she does not take a fucking hint. I think it is physically impossible for this chick to be any more oblivious.

Take yesterday for example. She comes back from supposedly washing the dishes, then says “Hey im back lok rp??? Plz???” If it were anyone else, I’d be happy they wanted to do a fandom I have some vague interest in. (I much prefer the original tale of Aang, but that’s a different rant.) However, for me, even an ATLA RP would be more feared than a sketchy surgical suite in a condemned hospital. And trust me, considering where I grew up, I know how freaking creepy those abandoned places are. But dear God, even Waverley Hills has nothing on her RPs.

She has made me lose my mind. She is The Room in human form. She has made me learn that the most delicious meals taste awful when you gag them back up. She has made me find religion, because I never really understood Hell until I met her.

(Pictured above: The general dynamics of my friendship with Myrtle.)

Every day, she sits on her ass at home, presumably thinking of new lines that are so corny, Iowa is now invalid. She can turn even the hardest characters into blubbery glitter puppies that are so sweet, my pancreas weeps with every word. She will never understand what a plot is, aside from “My MarySue OC meets X and they fall in twu OOC wuv and she saves da worl wif her magic powahzzzz and it’s all bout her n her soulmate dontcha knew??????!??!?11??”.

Are you starting to understand why I’d like to rip out her tongue through her ass now?

I have some clips from her RPs. This is from March of 2012: Hetalia is getting butchered in this one, and feel free to grab your complimentary barf-bags. Do not be alarmed if your brain begins to unravel and play “Miracles” by The Insane Clown Posse.

Amazon: hungray?

Hungary: What?

Amazon: can we go “study”?

Hungary: Yeah, as long as we actually, you know, STUDY, and you don’t try to sex me up.

Amazon: but u said u lov it when im forceful

Fucking magnets, how do they work?! This is what I have had to stomach every day of our friendship, so it’s no wonder I sing the No-Hemian Rhapsody every time I see something that even slightly reminds me of her. She always chooses the fandom (as if there’s really any variety when it comes down to the nitty-gritty of it), and it’s pretty much like her asking me which color of lipstick I’d like to kiss her ass with. She expects me to stay awake and stroke her ego well past midnight on a school night, but if it ever even is my turn, she’s gone by eleven on the weekends.

Take, for example, The Vampire Diaries. “Oooh ooh plz can we do it i kno u don like it but ill pay u back promise! U can hav atla”

Um, okay, and I’m sure you all can see where this goes south. 3 PM to 11 is nothing but the most bland party I’ve ever seen, full of lines like “Bonnie takes a sip of punch”, “Merdith starts 2 dnace”, “Stefan nods along to the music,” and of course, “Kimberley: damon.”, “Damon: kim come here we need 2 talk”, “Kimberley: i lov you damon.” She also got Black Swanned when the windows blew out, despite the sheer fucking impossibility of a shard of glass hitting you in the stomach and stabbing so deep that it would cause fatal damage, so Damon had to turn her into a vampire.

So of course, we only get two lines of my own ship, which I’ve literally not seen from her since October 2013.

All her fandom obsessions are like the damn Hydra: Once she finally gets out of one, she gets into another one that is twice as bad. Of course, in the roleplays, it doesn’t even matter considering all her fan-characters are exactly the fucking same. They’re all brown-haired, blue-eyed, overpowered or long-lost royalty (and in the most abhorrent cases, both), and are pretty damn creepy in their relationships.

Kimberley and Damon met while she was “grieving” her dead brother alone in the woods, and they had sex that very night. Her ATLA OC, upon first seeing Sokka and Katara, asked them for a threesome. (Her ATLA OC was also a “demon”, similar to the Naruto tailed-beast style possessions and the Princess of the Water Tribes, despite being whiter than the cocaine I would need to stomach her bullshit.) Sam Winchester and Aimee fall in instant love after shooting the same Shifter and have sex in the back of the Impala. Every one of her characters is related to someone important in the canon (ATLA---Yue’s twin; SPN---Bobby Singer’s daughter; Naruto---the granddaughter of the Third Hokage and Asuma’s child; THG---Finnick’s cousin). And in Hetalia? Not only is her other OC, because Amazon was not the only shit streak she placed upon APH, a nation; she’s a motherfucking Princess, with seven other sisters, all named from a specific anime.

And then, there’s Naruto. “its nighttime. Inari and Naruto are sitting on bench when kono comes out of the house and tell Inari he cant sleep. And asks if she would sing to him like she did when he was litte. And ofcourse she agrees. With narutos arm around her kono lays his head in her lap as she sings she rubs his back and everyone comes outside to see whats going on and some people say that the tree of them look like a family”

Well, sometimes I look at Intimidator305 and think “Hey. It’s red and yellow, and themed after racing, but it’s also a gigacoaster. Maybe it’s Top Thrill Dragster and Millennium Force’s baby. They’d make a cute family.” But the difference is I ACTUALLY SHIP TOP THRILLENNIUM AND GENUINELY LIKE ROLLER COASTERS.

When inanimate objects have more chemistry than your OTP, you have a fucking problem, hello, call Houston, asshole.

You have to understand. For a long time, fandom has been a big part of my life. All through the bullying, and it got really bad in seventh grade at both schools, writing fanfiction became my only escape. When things went from bad to worse, the only thing I held onto was getting to go home and watch my favorite shows and movies, or read my favorite novels. Friends in reality stabbed me in the back. To me, Ginny and Hermione wouldn’t do that to each other. Severe lack of romance, as was so important when I was 14 and naïve? It was okay; Kimiko and Raimundo were still together. I put my heart and soul into making Nala and am now reviewing my older OCs to give them the tender loving care they deserve; she just slaps a new name and love interest on the same bland Barbie and goes right along. My characters feel like a family to me. She even did this to my own story that I wrote. She tried to ruin my own story. Naruto was why I got into fandom. I abhor it now, just because of her (and because I’m way too far behind now and have no desire, really, to catch back up with Shippuden), and the only thing I want to do with it now is that funny little notebook some friends and I had of it in freshman year.

I know, I probably get annoying constantly babbling on about Avatar, and similarly how much I love one certain lady from it. (I really do; that’s the only show I get any pleasure out of anymore, aside from AHS. I take great joy in forcing them down her throat the way she does everything to me, and I know it pisses her off.) However, it’s not the literal only thing you hear coming out of my mouth constantly. Timber and I can have deep conversations about other things, be them silly or serious. I turn to her for my problems and finding solutions, and when she does the same with me, I try my damnedest to help her out as much as I can. I do the same for Myrtle, but when I tried to tell her about my problems, she would reply with two syllable texts at best. I just stopped even crying on her shoulder. Whenever I felt bad, she tried to distract me with Fandom. That’s all well and good, but she does that so she can focus on her own characters. Even when I’m breaking down, God, Jesus, and the Virgin Mary forbid we have fluffy, sweet Nala/BabyBoo snuggle-times to cheer me up, even if she is a horrendous player. More often than not, after she tells me what her hellion brothers have done she’ll just send a text like “sigh lets rp how bout snp from last night?”

Because the last night will always be with her character. Because that’s all that matters, Sam and Aimee, to Hell with Dean or Cas or the plot. Because THE FUCKING ABBREVIATION IS SPN.

Over the summer, my parents had a huge fight. It upset me so badly that I literally cannot remember going home and changing into comfy clothes to go eat. I do remember being in the car, screaming in the house and crying so hard that I crawled to the toilet to puke, and then I remember being in Burger King. I can’t remember leaving or going to the restaurant. I tried to reach out to her---I was desperate, alone, and scared---and all she said was “tht sux omg in the new manga sakura is tryin to take my narukun!” When I found out a few months ago that I needed surgery, I told her that. “Im sorry but look! Its from vampire academy isnt he hot can we rp this sometime??????????? I want him!!!!!” I come back from said surgery? “Yay! Snp rp?”

So that is Myrtle, the most self-important douchebag I will ever meet. I would call her an AssFlower, but that would be an understatement. Her ass is its own fucking National Forest, and if you want anything fandom related from her, you know exactly where you’ve gotta go. She is the thorn in my fucking side; she is the shit stain on the floor of the last working stall when you’ve really gotta take a piss; she is why I cannot have fucking nice things.

#Storytime with Sylvia

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