suicidal-idealization

[suicidal-idealization]

[suicidal-idealization]

What would thin feel like?

What would it feel like to be small?

Pretty?

What would it feel like if he could pick me up in a hug and not struggle? If he could playfully throw me around. If he could give me piggy back rides or carry me to bed?

What would it feel like if he looked at me and not every one on the internet? If it was my pictures he loved to stare at?

What would it feel like to rock every outfit? To not be insecure? To be cute when I want to?

I just want to know, I just want to feel those things

[suicidal-idealization]

I want to die

And I feel like I'm screaming it. I'm screaming and everybody is covering their ears. Every joke, every meme, every decision. I'm screaming it. And everytime before now, I tried to hide it. I didn't want help. I didn't want them to know. But I feel so close now, closer than I've ever felt. And I'm bringing it up daily. In average conversations. I'm screaming it. But everybody looks away. What a way to concrete in my head that it wouldn't matter one way or the other

[suicidal-idealization]

[suicidal-idealization]

[suicidal-idealization]

[suicidal-idealization]

how i’m trynna be

[suicidal-idealization]

have a nice day :)

[suicidal-idealization]

[suicidal-idealization]

[suicidal-idealization]

[suicidal-idealization]

[suicidal-idealization]

its never safe to use tumblr beside your parents

[suicidal-idealization]

[suicidal-idealization]

[suicidal-idealization]

[suicidal-idealization]