sukunas-bitxh
sukunas-bitxh
Sukuna's Bitxh
199 posts
31 | ♍ | A side blog dedicated to my king Ryomen Sukuna 🤤🤤 I'm just a slut for him | MDNI
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sukunas-bitxh · 3 months ago
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Urgent! Hey guys, I'm just letting you know that I've created a new account
Name: Getosbigballsacs, please support when I start to post over there
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sukunas-bitxh · 4 months ago
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Chapter 9
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Captain  (Levi Ackerman X reader)
WC: 1797
TW: umm some violence... aka titan slashing.
Two comrades; humanity’s Strongest and humanity’s Bravest. A bond between Two warriors who have nothing to lose.
A/N: I hope this chapter isn't too bad! I've been dealing with work, knee surgery/ recovery and doing my masters all at once.. BUT THANK YOU FOR ALL YOUR SUPPORT.
Masterlist
Chapter 8
The breakfast was average, no flavor, nothing exciting… Everyone was chatting with one another about finally being able to rest. But I knew something was wrong, the air just didn't feel right. Although the sky looked clear with a few scattered clouds, I couldn't help feel Impending doom that was gonna fall upon us.
There were many birds flying around, very active, as if they were trying to get away from something… 
“ Hey Y/N why are you Sitting alone? Aren't you glad that we're finally resting?” Misa asks as she sits besides me. 
“What is there to be glad about, We just lost a handful of our Comrades.”
“ I know y/n, But don't you think it's worse to dwell on someone's death when they fought for their lives and the lives of others?”
I sigh at that and continue to eat the stale bread… and my once somber thoughts came to a halt when a loud explosion was heard. 
The whole area came to a complete silence.. The birds have stopped flying over us, the wind no longer breezing. With one glance up the 50 meter wall, and there stood a titan. Steaming with it’s hands over the edges of the wall, it’s head above the wall completely, looking over the wall and into the village.
With It’s intense stare and flesh exposed teeth were the last things i remember before the titan took a blow to the wall, compromising it completely. Debris from all around flew in every direction, the sheer strength of the blow throwing all of us away. And the only voice to be heard was Ewrin screaming. 
“ SOLDIERS PREPARE YOURSELF NOW!”
Within seconds we all began running to our ODM Gear and preparing whatever horses we had left…. 
“ Y/N , LEVI, HANGE TAKE 10 SOLDIERS EACH AND DISPERSE, TITANS HAVE ENTERED WALL MARIA,  KILL AS MANY AS YOU CAN!” Erwin yells before being lifted off the ground. 
With a quick glance towards one another we are all on our way leaving it to us to save as many people as we can and slaying every titan in sight. Because I’ll be damned if I’ll be chum for any of these monsters. 
With that I turned to grab my bunch of the group but many of them seemed to have been frightened to death, with no ability to even move. 
“ STAY WATCHING THAT WALL AND YOU’LL BE DEAD, MOVE BECAUSE IF YOU THINK I’M GOING TO SAVE ANY OF YOU, YOU’RE WRONG. IT’S KILL OR GET KILLED. NOW MOVE!” I yell at my group, with a few moving from their spot and being broken out of their trance, while some stood there still. 
“ IF THOSE OF YOU WHO ARE NOT MOVING AT ALL, SO HELP ME IF YOU WANT TO DIE SO MUCH I’LL DO YOU ALL A FAVOR AND KILL YOU HERE! NOW MOVE OR YOU'RE DEAD.” I turn to the last group of people watching them fumble and shake as they try to get their gear working. 
I take off not willing to wait any longer for these fools, if they are so quick to come to fear then they are not worth even risking my life for. As I lead my team towards the titans, I see multiple children alone in the streets. Crying and running.. Where are their mothers.. Their fathers.. With every titan that comes to sight I swiftly speed through the air and slice my blade into their necks. Watching as they fall over, and steam away. 
Just as i’m about to leave the area I have cleared out, I notice a little kid in the corner of an alleyway, crying for it’s mother. Not much of a thought i launch my way into the direction of the child, I know I just said it’s not worth risking my life for someone who is afraid.. But this child is helpless, and i remember what it felt like to cry for a mother who you miss. 
“ Hey it’s okay, I’m here! Do you remember where your mom went or where you last saw her?” I ask the small boy in front of me, as he cries into my chest where I hold him. 
“I-i-i d-don-n’t k-n-no-ow.” the child weeps even more..
Think think.. I can’t just leave him here, but I can’t take him with my ODM gear, he will slip and won’t be able to hold on from my back.. Mid train of thought a blood curdling scream brings me back to reality and that’s when i see a titan looking over between the buildings and into the alleyway I’m in.. no.
No.. no. no.. NO! 
I quickly turn the child to face the wall and tell him to close his eyes and cover his ears. I Latch on to the building across the alleyway and swing through the air quick trying to get to the titan before he reaches for the kid. I fly besides the titan and try to distract it away from the kid but the titan is fixed on the kid. I can’t kill the titan there because it will collapse forward onto the child. 
Wait.. before fully processing my own thought shoot my ODM gear claw into the side of the titans head. This caused the titan to scream in pain and pull my cord, well at least it’s away from the child but now I’m flying directly towards the titan’s face. But the next thing i knew i saw Levi slice the titans neck, making the titan let go of my cord.
“ What the hell is wrong with you” Levi catches me mid air. And begins to move away from the alleyway. 
“ stop! go back!”
“ like hell we’re going back there, you almost got yourself killed.” Levi yells in frustration.
“ THERE’S A CHILD WE NEED TO GO BACK!”
“ WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT! He yells back at me once again, but this time I push his hands off of me and ignite my Gear again heading back to the child. There I saw him still curled in a ball, tears rolling down from his tightly closed eyes and hands covering his ears.
“ Hey, it’s okay.. I’m here.” I slowly graze his back to not scare him anymore than he already is. With that he turns and jumps into my arms. 
“ Y/N what the hell is going on?” Levi comes and lands besides me watching me as i hold the child tightly. 
“ We need to get him out of here now!”
“ Y/N we don’t have time to save every child.”
“ If you wont help me I’ll do it myself.” I grab my cape and tell the child to get on my back and hold on tightly before wrapping the cape around the child and making sure it’s tight enough. And with that I expel my ODM gear and start trying to get to a safe place for the child. 
“ Y/N! You can’t save everyone, You’ll get yourself killed trying to save one person!” Levi flies beside me and yells towards me. 
“ Then HELP ME! Keep any Titans away from me so that I can get him to safety!”
“ UGH DAMMIT!” Levi yells before zooming in front of me and taking down any Titans in front of me. 
I hear the child let out cries into my shoulder as he holds on tighter around my neck. I feel his sadness.. His cries, oh how much fear they hold… I remember crying once like that.. Not knowing what to do, being so helpless and confused.. But those feelings I once felt don’t consume me anymore.. 
“ Hey it’s okay, you can cry as much as you need! Just hold on tight no matter what, okay, I got you.” I try to comfort the child, knowing well my words will have no effect on him. 
I watch as Levi takes down each titan at a time, as i Maneuver around him and the building before me. It isn’t long before I see a crowd of people who are trying to evacuate, that is when i land and try to spot another soldier or anyone who seems to have good judgment. 
“ HEY! I found this child back there, make sure you get him on a boat!” I spot a soldier who seems to be directing the traffic around. 
“ Where is it’s mother or father!?” The person asks.
“ I just said we found him, Just make sure he is safe please! I have to go back and help now!” I yel as i try to unhook the child from my back and let him down, but he refuses and holds onto me tightly.
“ Hey buddy, I have to go okay, my friends need me and I need to make sure you have time to make it to the boat okay.” I speak softly to the kid and i try to unhook his tight grip around my neck. 
“ N-n-o pleas-s-se don’t l-eav-ve me-e.” the boy cries more.
“ Hey it’s going to be okay! I will be back okay, just trust me okay, I will see you again. I just need you to be brave, okay! I’m really scared too just like you, I don’t want to go back but I have a duty, and my duty is to keep you safe okay! So even when I’m scared and I don't want to do things, I have to be brave and do it okay. So please let me go, I need to go help the man who helped me get you here okay.” I try to reason with the child again, and with that he actually lets go. 
“ Good kid! You’ll be okay! I’ll try to be back okay!” i reaffirm the child.
“ Oka-ay.” He sniffles trying to hold back his cries.
“ okay.” I smile and lean in to give the boy a kiss on his head before I run back to go find Levi.  
It isn’t long before I see him again swooshing through the air, taking down another titan, but in a blink of an eye I see another titan running towards him. Without a second to hesitate I go towards the titan approaching him and make sure to take it down in one swift motion. 
“ You got that kid to where he needed to be?” Levi asks as I land besides him 
“ yeah i did.”
“ Y/N, You can’t just be do–” I cut him off by thanking him instead
“ Thank you Levi, I know it might seem like one life but if it’s one life I can save, then I will do it. So Thank you again.”
“... Y/N it’s not about one life, i don’t know that kid, it’s your life i care about.. Just don’t be so reckless, I can't afford to lose you..”
tag list: @sleepyycatt @sukunas-bitxh
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sukunas-bitxh · 6 months ago
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『 AITA: For accidentally sending nudes to my sons best friend? 』
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☼ synopsis: Toji accidentally sends nudes to his sons best friend... but was it really an accident?
☼ character: Toji Fushiguro
☼ reader: female | AFAB
☼ wc: 2033
☼ cw: phone sex, age gap (reader is in her 20s, Toji in his 40s), masturbation, pet names: baby/doll/bunny, mentions of pussy eating and p in v
☼ notes: a sudden need for dilf Toji overcame my horny brain... I won't apologize 😭
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[1 New Message, 3 Images Attached]
Your head piped up when your phone vibrated, your focus instantly vanished when you saw his name - Toji. Seeing his name on your phone was a rare sight, he only ever texted you when Megumi didn't show up at night or when you asked him to pick you up from god knows where because it was far too dangerous to walk home at a late hour. Hell, at this point you almost called him dad with how many times he showed up for you or the way he treats you like his own.
Curiously you opened the messages to see why on earth that man texted you at almost 1 am, but your phone dropped to the floor and your jaw almost joined the device. You pinched the bridge of your nose and picked the phone up again. This surely wasn't what you were thinking...right?
A shaky breath left your lips when you unlocked your phone again, only to be met with Toji Fushiguro's cock splayed all over the screen. It wasn't even tasteful, just your average dick in hand while jerking off picture. Unsure if you should even stare at it the way you did, you swiped left to be met with a similar picture, but it was the short video that followed that left you breathless. He sounded so frustrated, angrily moving his fist up and down his thick shaft, his foreskin slightly shifting over the tip each time. It was hypnotic and after the fifth time of watching the eight second long video, you had to close it, your pussy aching from neglect, but your brain told you not to indulge. You really shouldn't touch yourself to nudes of your best friend's dad, now should you? This surely was a mistake and it almost made you chuckle, the thought of Toji going on dates and probably scaring these poor women off with his attitude alone.
Biting your lip, you decided that it couldn't hurt to indulge, worst case, you could blame him for it - he's the older one, after all, and should know better. Your clothes were quickly discarded before you took a few tasteful nudes, which you immediately sent to him. They were really tasteful, nothing too revealing and most importantly, not showing your face.
[1 New Message, 1 Video Attached]
With a shaky breath, you opened the video, your other hand gently rolling one of your nipples before traveling down south while the video played on a low volume.
“That's my good girl,” his voice rasps into the microphone, praising you for indulging, but his voice almost gets drowned out by the view, his cock was painfully hard, veins visibly popping and his grip was tight as he worked on his lubed up cock. The view once again left you hypnotized, his big hands looked small when he held his cock and it left your pussy clenching around nothing as your thoughts ran wild. Would you even be able to take him? He surely would rip you clean into two pieces with how huge his cock is.
Your pussy was absolutely drenched by now, fingers gently circling your clit and occasionally dipping the tip of a finger inside of your entrance to tease yourself.
“Bet you want me to fuck you dumb on my cock. Make you forget your own fucking name, bunny,” he groaned, a low moan following after the pet name that had your clit throbbing. You wanted nothing more than to hear this moan directly next to your ear when he pushes your head into the pillows and fucks you until you're a babbling mess for him - for your best friend's dad.
“Fuck- I can only imagine what your little cunt would look like stretched around me right now… so fucking tight and messy.” His hips buck up to meet the thrusts of his hand and you can see his abs ripple beneath his skin. He was right. Your pussy is a mess right now.
“Show me that messy pussy I love so much, baby. Let me see,” he encourages you to send him more of you, which is where the video ends.
A shiver runs down your spine and your finger stills against your sweet spot, but you don't pull it out just yet, contemplating if you should go further than you already did.
Your needy cunt clenched around your finger, letting you know that you fucking need to see more of Toji, need to see him come undone in order to earn your own release. These thoughts won't let you think straight, so you angle your camera and hit record when you rub your little clit just before dipping two fingers into your messy cunt. The squelching noises are obscene when you start curling them against your sweet spot and at this point, you can't hold back mewls and small whimpers anymore, practically whining his name and begging for his cock like a bitch in heat. Just as you were about to release, you pulled your fingers out, edging yourself and sending the little video to Toji.
[Message: Sent]
[Message: Read]
In order to keep yourself dancing along the edge, you ran your fingers over your clit with feather light touches, just waiting for him to type or send more of your newest addiction - his cock.
Toji stroked his dick in time with the way you pump your fingers into your cunt, fast and needy, but when you start whining for him, he almost loses control, his balls suddenly feeling tight and his urge to release getting almost unbearable… until he catches a glimpse of your face. It was just a fraction of a second, but he would recognize your face everywhere.
His hand stilled right away, his orgasm ruined, but his cock twitched greedily.
“Fuck,” he cursed out and locked his phone before running his hand over his face. Without wasting another moment, he wiped the remnants of lube on his hand off on his discarded t-shirt and dialed your number.
When you finally picked up, it was just silent on both sides, neither of you sure what to say, so he puts on the big boy pants and speaks up first.
“That wasn't meant for you,” it sounded like he scolded you, as if you invaded his privacy when it was his fault to begin with.
“I should have paid better attention, sorry.” An actual apology followed seconds later and you could hear that his heart and mind racing equally as fast as yours, although he would never admit to it. He was met with silence once again.
“You shouldn't have sent me anything back. I would have deleted everything if you would have just…” He began to explain that he would have never asked this of you, trying his best to be a proper adult here, when in reality he has thought about bending your cute ass over the kitchen counter quite a few times.
Toji can't even deny it at this point. He likes his women a lot younger and you're no exception here, even though his son is your best friend, so what? There was a reason he stopped talking, though, a little whimper on your end caught him off guard.
“Are you fucking getting off to this?” He asked, but it sounded more accusatory, although you can hear his smirk, you know him well enough that you know that he's just trying to be that stern adult when in reality he likes to think with that big cock of his.
Get a grip. She is young enough to be your fucking daughter. Toji tried to hold himself back, but at this point it was like a tightly coiled spring, the more pressure applied, the more inevitable he would snap - so he chuckled.
His chuckle sounded almost mocking, but it turned you on even more. The fact that he could hear just how pathetic you were, how desperately you craved him to stretch you open on his cock and fuck you until you could neither sit nor walk comfortably for the next days to come. Two of your fingers slipped into your dripping pussy once again, a silent gasp escaping you at the light stretch.
“You thinkin’ of my fingers fucking you, bunny?” He mused out and you heard a lid click shut on his line, followed by a small hiss. The lube felt like fucking ice against his rock hard length, but he needed it, wanting to imagine your little cunt wrapped around him and not his shitty hands. You mewled in reply, but it wasn't good enough for him.
“Use your words, baby. Tell me what you thinkin’ of,” his voice sounded raw, the hunger for you dripped off of every word, and you could already feel your walls flutter. The sheer perversion and the taboo of this alone were enough to have you on edge, but the way he talked to you drove you to the brink of insanity.
“Y-yes,” you whimpered and your voice cracked in such an embarrassing way, but you couldn't bring yourself to care.
Toji could hear how needy you were for him - not knowing if you've ever been fucked properly or if your fingers were all that your cunt ever got stuffed with - he took pity on your whining self.
“Come for me, baby, let me hear you,” he encouraged you to finally cave in, to let the knot that has formed in your tummy snap. Heaven knows he was just as close with how desperate you were for him, whining his name so sweetly as you came around your little fingers. He could practically see it, your toes curling and your mouth hung open as you tried to close your thighs, fingers still curling by the sound and he wanted nothing more than to have you clench around his cock like that - you'd grip him like a vice and he would never let you go until you're dripping with his cum and -
“Fuck-” Toji’s chest rumbled with a groan as he painted his defined abs with small shots of ivory, a few drops running down his hand as he squeezed his sensitive tip a little harder than necessary just for it to sting with overstimulation.
There was silence between the two of you for a few minutes, heavy breathing slowly evening out and the haze of hormones wearing off, leaving you to think about what just happened between the both of you.
“Are you okay?” He eventually asked, actually worried that you might regret this.
“Hmm, yeah,” you whisper softly, and it felt like a whole entire mountain fell off his chest.
“Do you… regret it, doll?” He proceeded to ask you as he wiped the cum away with the discarded T-shirt before tossing it to the ground.
“Not really,” you giggle softly and shake your head. “I just regret that it wasn't actually your fingers,” you sound teasing with an edge of sincerity and it was a breath of fresh air to him. He never thought you would be this naughty.
“Naughty… Perhaps I can change that next time I drive you home,” he mused, letting you know that this won't ever happen in his home.
“Yeah… let's not tell Megs anything about that, okay?” You ask shy, the guilt was slowly eating you alive from keeping such a secret, but Megumi wouldn't like it much to know that you're fucking his dad. He would probably never speak to you again should he find out.
“That boy won't find it out from me anyway,” Toji reassured you, never telling his son anything about his love life to begin with - let alone about the women he ends up in bed with.
“But who knows. Perhaps I'll have you as a dessert one day. You just gotta be real quiet, he muses, the playfulness practically dripping from his voice and you rubbed your thighs together.
“Don't say that, Mr. Fushiguro. I might hold you to it,” you chuckle as your finger gently glides over your slick folds once again.
“Maybe you can tell me about all the things you intend to do to me.”...
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Networks @pixelcafe-network @interstellar-inn @houseofsolisoccasum
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sukunas-bitxh · 6 months ago
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『 Period Sex 』
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☼ synopsis: Small blurbs about how they'd fuck you during your period
☼ characters: various jjk characters
☼ reader: female | AFAB
☼ wc: 869
☼ cw: period sex, mentions of blood, oral (reader receiving), fingering, mentions of anal, slight overstimulation.
☼ notes: reposting this bc tumblr flagged it. Whiny bitches 😒
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Toji doesn't have a strong opinion on period sex. He prefers not to get that messy with blood on the bed or couch but he's up to it on the floor or in the shower.He prefers to fuck your ass during that time - just a personal preference but if you crave his cock he gladly bruises your cervix, not caring if you're a whining mess from the hard thrusts. But his go to is anal to not get your blood on his dick.
Gojo hates seeing you in pain and doesn't mind helping you out. He was actually the one who brought it up, offering to finger you because orgasms help with the cramps and as long as you're keeping yourself somewhat clean down there he doesn't mind using his tongue on your clit either. He did however paint a heart on your mound with your blood after you came three times on his fingers.
Geto isn't too much of a fan of period sex but is conflicted because he knows it will help you with the pain. He will gladly use his fingers and also fucks you but prefers to wait with oral until your period is done. He makes sure to have a towel beneath you and goes for slow but deep strokes to get your legs to quiver from how intense it feels.
Nanami doesn't mind if you're on your period - it's only natural but like Geto he wont give oral during that time. He prefers to finger you or rut into you really slow while in the bathtub. It involves lots of praise of how well you take him, feeling you squeeze around him because the sensation of his cock inside of you is so much more intense during that time. Plus being in the shower or bathtub makes cleaning up so much easier.
Higuruma is not too fazed by period sex and prefers to use his hands on you during that time since he loves just how sensitive you are. He rolls your clit between his fingers before pushing two or three of his long digits into you without further warning. The way you moan for him, his fingers enough to overwhelm you make him so hard he can't wait to sink his cock into your cunt if you let him.
Yuuta was a little disgusted at first but gave it a chance since it's just a little bit of blood. Your sweet face when he sunk his dick into you will never leave his mind now. Your eyebrows knitted together and your mouth falling open. You also felt so much warmer than usual he never wanted to stop rutting into you. He likes it when you're on top and he fucks up into you - not caring at all if the blood ends up on him.
Choso blushed when you suggested it to him. He'd love nothing more but to bury himself between your thighs during your period. He devours your core and relishes the taste of your arousal mixed with blood on his tongue, his fingers digging deep into you to massage your sweet spot delicately. The orgasms help with your pain but he doesn't know when to stop, addicted to having you like this.
Sukuna never cared for a little blood but he won't give you princess treatment either. If you're horny or looking for some pain relief he lets you ride him. Tire yourself out on his lap and don't mind the squelching noises from how his cock fills you up. If you're in too much pain he will help you move your hips, gently guiding you up and down his length. He does hold back on the harder thrusts, knowing you're more sensitive on your period.
Mahito absolutely loves period sex and doesn't mind getting all dirty with your blood. It's so incredibly arousing to him because you're so vulnerable like this and so easy to overstimulate. He doesn't mind lapping at your cunt and making you squirm when he grins at you, half his face covered in blood and slick before giving you a few more orgasms on his fingers and cock. He makes you lick his fingers clean - so be careful what you wish for.
Yuuji is such a caring boyfriend, hating to see you in pain and doing everything he can to make it better, so of course if you want him to finger you he will. He was hesitant to fuck you because you whine and whimper a lot but he will make love to you, his thrusts extra gentle and his fingers never leaving your clit to bring you more pleasure. The way you paw at him and whine his name always makes him cum.
Megumi doesn't like period sex but he also doesn't like you whining around so he's willing to use your toys on you. He can get a little mean during those times and makes sure that you're properly exhausted by the time you're done. He loves to hold the wand against your clit while either using his fingers or one of your other toys to massage your sweet spot until all pain is gone and you're no longer so horny.
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Networks: @pixelcafe-network @interstellar-inn @houseofsolisoccasum
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sukunas-bitxh · 6 months ago
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『 You're a mean one Mr. Grinch 』
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🎄synopsis: If you could use only two words to describe Sanemi during the holiday season it would be "the grinch". But just like his hairy, green friend, Sanemi does have a heart deep down - and it belongs entirely to you.
🎄character: Sanemi Shinazugawa
🎄reader: female
🎄cw: slightly suggestive for 2 sentences (It's Tengen, I can't help it), otherwise pure fluff
🎄notes: Merry Christmas @awkwardchick87 I am Tinsel the liddol elf for the @pixelcafe-network secret Santa! 🥹🫶 I hope you have a holly jolly season and that Mr. Grinch here shows up under your tree for real hehe. Also a big thank you to @hayatoseyepatch who helped me to make sure that Sanemi was in character!
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Snow is falling all around us I fucking hate it, everything is slippery and shoveling snow sucks.
Children playing, having fun I hope they fall and bruise their tailbones.
It's the season, love and understanding you mean materialism and fake love…
The Christmas music was blasting from the kitchen and Sanemi couldn't help but scoff at the pretentious lyrics, adding his thoughts to each and every line.
If you only had two words to describe your husband during Christmas time, you wouldn't even need to ponder for a single second, the two words would come to your mind immediately - The Grinch.
“Nemi?” Your voice called from the kitchen as the songs switched, giving him exactly three seconds before the next one started playing, a moment of peace for his poor ears, he thought, as he slowly made his way to you.
“Can I turn the music down a little?” He asked as he rubbed his temples a little too dramatically, but your face said it all - he can turn the volume down but not entirely off.
Now that the music wasn't blasting through the entire house, the tense feeling seemed to disappear from his shoulders and he looked at you from across the kitchen island, cookie batter stuck on your cheek and flour coating your hair white and he couldn't stifle the smallest chuckle.
“Did you need my help, Mrs. Santa?” He asked teasingly, the flour in your hair aging you rapidly and you threw a freshly cut cookie at his face, the little star sticking perfectly to his forehead.
“You're a mean one, Mr. Grinch,” you quipped back and laughed at the way he ripped that star shaped cookie off his skin.
“What was that for?!” Sanemi sounded quite angry. “I mean… why did you do that?” He repeated his question much calmer, still working on his little outbursts that have become a lot less frequent.
“You called me Mrs. Santa! Do I look that old to you?” You asked amused and threatened to throw another cookie, this time it was shaped like a bell.
Sanemi walked around the counter and took a closer look at you with squinted eyes, studying you as if he really had to think about an answer, which made you puff your cheeks in feigned offense.
“Well… the flour does make you look like Mrs. Santa… But perhaps I just need to grow a beard to be your Santa then?” He asked and gently ruffled your hair in an effort to remove the flour, only making it worse, which did bring a smile to his face.
*plap* The bell shaped cookie got slapped against his cheek with a playful slap of your hand, making you laugh out loudly before running off, knowing he'd chase you to get back at you somehow - and you were right.
Sanemi chased you through the apartment, trying to throw the batter at your face but firing it against the wall and two windows instead before giving up and chasing after you without a makeshift cookie weapon. Neither of you knew how long you'd been at it, but when the smoke detector went off, you ran to the kitchen in an instant, the first batch of Christmas cookies looked more like the coal pieces that Santa leaves for the naughty children.
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The next time Sanemi was painfully reminded that this is indeed Christmas season was when he walked into your living room and saw that tree standing there. What an ugly thing he thought to himself as he eyed it up and down - at least the shape was decent and better than the one from last year. With a sigh he went to the storage to get the ornaments ready for you, knowing that you'll want to put them on there sooner than later and he didn't want you to carry all these boxes… Just why did you have so much stuff for a tree??
The first note of the song came on as you decorated the tree and a shiver ran down his spine. He hated Christmas music, but this song was on top of the list of most hated songs - it just sounded so awfully nonconsensual.
Gripping the star that goes on top of the Christmas tree like a microphone, you dramatically got into stance to sing this duet he was sure you made him sing with you. You're so lucky that he loves you…
“I really can't stay,” you started to sing, but he refused to sound like some asshole, so he improvised his own lines.
“No problem, there's the door,” he grumbled and pointed at the door. Sanemi didn't even try to sing this, but he also didn't want to disappoint you - seeing you smile was what made him happy after all and if he had to embarrass himself like this, he would do so. Your smile was brighter than any Christmas star to him and singing a silly duet wasn't too bad after all.
“I've got to go away,” you continued and gave him the puppy eyes to act your part.
“I hear ya, say no more,” he mumbled and twirled you around once.
“This evening has been-” before you were able to finish it, he interrupted you.
“Totally consensual!” He butted in, which made you laugh at how he made his own version of this Christmas classic.
“My mother will start to worry,” you sang through your little giggle fit, already having missed a line, but Sanemi took a step back.
“Here's my phone, give her a call,” he chuckled, making the whole song sound a lot less creepy than it actually is. Both of you ended up laughing by the time the song was over, the Christmas tree only having one ornament hanging on its branches. Gently, Sanemi lifted you up to place the Christmas star on top before handing you various ornaments to decorate the tree, leaving this task entirely in your hands after you complained that he would clutter the tree. Granted, your first Christmas you almost shoved the ornament down his throat after he hung two red ones next to each other, but that is a story of the past…
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The last time Sanemi was painfully reminded that it was Christmas Eve was when he sat under the tree like a pouting little child. His arms remained crossed as he waited for you to find him there - a red bow tied to a strand of his hair and if you looked closely, his cheeks were almost the same color from how embarrassed he felt to sit there. Both of you agreed to exchange your gifts on Christmas Eve already and while you got yours to put it under the tree for him, he went to get into position. Oh, how utterly stupid he felt and every second that passed only made him doubt his decisions more.
Sanemi never really celebrated Christmas before he got to know you. Holiday of love and giving… to love who? He had no family and it's not like he could do things like this with Genya. Giving gifts? He thought that was stupid, too materialistic. The white haired man was a firm believer that you should show your love to the right people every day of the year and not only on made-up holidays like Christmas or even Valentine's Day - but this changed once he found out that you're quite sentimental about those little things and that you don't expect anything expensive or lots of presents, just one small thing coming from his heart. So the first Christmas you two spent together, he gifted you his Haori - something too simple in his eyes, but you were so happy because you knew that this was his favorite. Unless it's in the laundry, you still wear it daily until this very day, well past your marriage vows, and you never fail to make his heart skip a beat whenever he sees you wearing it. But this time he had to outdo himself at least a little bit, so he went to none other than Tengen Uzui to ask for guidance. Did he hate every second of this? Very much so. It was almost humiliating to ask for help, yet he reminded himself of the purpose - you.
“That's just ridiculous!” Sanemi stood up, his head bright red at Tengen’s advice, who only shrugged with a smirk on his lips. A smirk that Sanemi wished to punch off his stupidly handsome face in that moment, but something started putting pieces together in his brain. If Tengen had three wives that adored him so much, his idea wouldn't be too bad, given he does it himself. Grumbling, Sanemi sat back down onto the tatami mats and Tengen's smirk grew into an excited one.
“I'm not going to wrap my dick with ribbon or stuff it into a box,” he exclaimed, knowing his friend's mind was running wild after he was the one suggesting these very things.
“Well, my wives do like to have a taste of my… candy cane… when I put a pretty bow on it,” he mused and Sanemi stood up once again, leaving this time. Too much information.
“Yeah, yeah, have fun, you pervert,” he mumbled and left the Uzui estate with a bright red head. Surely his best friend would have a better idea now that he and Mitsuri are together…
“I write poetry for her,” Obanai mumbled, his voice muffled and although he couldn't see him smile, his eyes were shining whenever he was talking of her.
“I can't… I'm not good with words or emotions and that shit,” Sanemi answered, deeply in thought. He could ask Obanai to write one for you, but it wouldn't be from heart. It would be the words of another man and just thinking about another man telling you how much he loves you made his blood boil - even if it's in his name.
“Just try it,” the short man encouraged him and swiftly moved to bring him paper and a pen to write before leaving him alone with his thoughts and a tea, surely he will think of something.
It's been two hours since Obanai checked in on his friend, so when he went to his living room to see how the poet is faring, Sanemi was long gone. The stack of papers was empty, crumpled up pages littered the room, which frustrated the Hashira. Next time they meet, he will have to face the consequences of trashing his estate - although reading these poems out loud to you should serve as enough punishment with how bad they were.
Just as he was about to stop reading them, as they made his skin crawl with how truly bad Sanemi was to express his words, one caught his attention. It surely wasn't a masterpiece, but for what it was, it was sweet and heartfelt. Obanai smiled to himself as he straightened the paper out, intending to send it to you in a secret letter.
“Roses are red, Violets are blue, With every wild wind, I'm thinking of you.
Your laughter's like thunder, In the quiet of night, A spark in my heart, You're my guiding light.
I'm rough around the edges, and my hair's a mess. You see through the storms and love me nonetheless.
So here's to our chaos, and the battles we face, In a world full of danger, you're my favorite place.”
Now Sanemi was sitting under the tree, a bow in his hair and a small box hiding in his pocket. While he went home, frustrated with the poetry session, his engagement ring caught his attention - it shimmered beautifully in the sun, just like your eyes. He made sure to choose a gem that came closest to his favorite color, and you wore an amethyst on yours to represent his eyes.
“The eyes are a window to the soul after all,” Sanemi whispered the words you told him on your first date when he looked everywhere but at you since you made him uncharacteristically nervous.
Although you've been together for all this time, the nerves crept up as he waited for you to return to the living room, hoping you'd like the necklace hiding in the small box, an amethyst placed neatly in the middle of a decorative piece that looked like a whirlwind. And perhaps you'll like the big present even more, as it sat there, waiting and pouting for your return…
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sukunas-bitxh · 7 months ago
Text
𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐋𝐈𝐀𝐑 𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇 𝐀 𝐏𝐑𝐄𝐓𝐓𝐘 𝐅𝐀𝐂𝐄
— ran haitani x fem!reader
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synopsis. in which you fall under the spell of Ran Haitani, where his charm wraps around you like a sweet whisper, but as the truth reveals itself, you see him for what he truly is—a liar with a pretty face.
warnings. mature themes ahead, explicit sexual content, drug use. tags. female reader insert, bonten au, heavy pining, angst, hurt no comfort.
wc. 5.1k words.
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Loving Ran Haitani was far too easy. The kind of easy that made you question how quickly you fell for him, how dangerously seamless it felt, like slipping into a dream you knew you shouldn't be having.
The first time you met him, it was just another early morning at the café your grandmother had owned for as long as you could remember, where you spent your days tucked behind the counter. The place was still waking up, with only the scent of freshly brewed coffee filling the quiet air. You were wiping down the counter, settling into the routine, when the doorbell chimed, signaling the arrival of a customer.
You glanced up, and your world paused.
There he was.
His presence alone demanded attention, a stark contrast to the gentle stillness of the café. What struck you first was his hair—a striking blend of purple and black, cascading in deliberate waves that looked as if they'd been touched by a painter's hand. He wore a tailored suit, purplish-blue that clung to his broad shoulders and tapered at his waist, paired with a pink tie that perfectly matched the hues in his hair. His eyes—an unusual, captivating lavender—were half-lidded, their gaze indifferent, as though nothing in this world could possibly faze him.
It was the kind of effortless beauty that felt almost unreal, as if he'd walked out of a glossy magazine and into the quiet of your world. He moved like he owned the room, each step measured, one hand buried lazily in his pocket while the other held a sleek black briefcase. You were no stranger to attractive customers, but something about this man made your heart skip in a way you hadn't experienced before.
He stopped right in front of you, and suddenly you became acutely aware of how close he was. His height cast a shadow that swallowed the counter between you, and you felt small beneath the weight of his gaze. The air around him was magnetic, almost stifling, and for a fleeting second, you forgot what you were supposed to do.
His lavender eyes locked onto yours, more piercing up close, and you could feel yourself unraveling under his attention. You were staring, openly, and it must've been obvious because his lips curled into a knowing smirk—a small, lazy twitch that sent your heart into overdrive.
You swallowed, clearing your throat as heat crept up your neck. "Uh—what would you like to order, sir?"
He chuckled, a low sound that sent shivers through you, and the smirk never left his lips. "First time here. Any recommendations?" His voice held a playful lilt that invited a similar response.
You leaned forward slightly, dropping your voice as if you were about to share a secret. "I'd steer clear of the cold brew latte. We've had, uh... mixed reviews. Too bitter for most folks."
You glanced around quickly, making sure your grandmother wasn't within earshot. She prided herself on that cold brew and though you loved her dearly, you didn't have the heart to let her know it wasn't the hit she thought it was.
You saw his lavender eyes gleamed with amusement, as if your attempt to protect your grandmother's pride entertained him. He leaned on the counter too, closing the distance between you. "Is that so? Sounds like it's exactly what I'm looking for. I'll take that."
You blinked in surprise, momentarily thrown off. "Are you sure? It's... really not what people expect."
"That's why I want to try it." His voice was smooth, his confidence unwavering, as if his choice was the most obvious thing in the world.
You nodded, a little unsure but intrigued nonetheless. You proceeded to make his drink with deliberate focus, aware of his lavender eyes never leaving you, watching your every move. It felt strange, like you were on display, but not in a way that made you uncomfortable—just more alert. When you handed him the cup, his fingers brushed yours briefly, sending a strange, electric current through your skin.
He took a small sip, then nodded, as though satisfied, and without another word, he turned and walked out. The door swung closed behind him, and you found yourself staring at the empty space where he had just been.
That's it? you thought. He's gone, and you'd probably never see him again—especially after tasting that bitter cold brew. But life had a strange way of surprising you.
The next day, he was back.
The bell chimed, and as you turned, there he was—purple and black hair catching the light, eyes scanning the room until they found yours. Your heart leaped in a way that both excited and unnerved you.
"I'll have the cold brew latte," he said, as casually as if he hadn't almost disappeared from your life forever yesterday.
You couldn't help but laugh, shaking your head in disbelief. "You're still set on that drink?"
"I like it," he replied with a shrug, his smirk growing a fraction wider, like there was more he wasn't saying.
"Then you must really like bitter things," you teased lightly, but there was a question in your voice, a curiosity that was growing the more he showed up.
His lavender eyes twinkled as he leaned in a little, lowering his voice. "Depends on the kind of bitter."
His words lingered in the air between you, thick with a meaning you couldn't quite place, but it sent a flutter of warmth through your chest. There was something so deliberate in his presence, in the way he spoke and carried himself.
You didn't even know his name yet, but in your mind, you simply called him the "pretty face". It was easier that way—keeping some distance between yourself and this enigmatic man who seemed to be weaving his way into your quiet little world.
The next time he came in, your heart reacted before your mind did, a now-familiar jolt coursing through you the moment the door chimed. The pretty face was back. He moved through the café with that same effortless grace, his lavender eyes already seeking you out as if no one else in the room mattered.
And for some reason, it felt like maybe they didn't.
You didn't ask what he wanted anymore. You just started on his cold brew latte, trying to keep your hands steady while feeling his gaze on you. It was as though he found amusement in how easily you anticipated his order, how quickly you learned his routine.
When you slid the cup across the counter, he met you with that usual smirk—one that had begun to chip away at your resolve. "Cold brew latte, right?"
He nodded, lips curving into a familiar, lazy smile. "You're good at this," he said, his voice smooth, like he was talking about more than just your ability to make coffee.
"You're persistent," you quipped, trying to keep your voice light and teasing, even though his gaze was doing strange things to your pulse.
"Maybe I just like coming here."
There was a silence that stretched between you after that, thick with unspoken tension. You could feel the weight of his words, the way they hung in the air like a challenge, daring you to ask what he meant. But you didn't. You couldn't.
Instead, you swallowed, averting your eyes. "Well, if you're not here just for the coffee, I guess that's a good sign."
That's when something shifted. His eyes, which were usually laced with amusement, darkened, just for a moment. He leaned in slightly, voice dropping low enough that only you could hear. "Oh, it's definitely not just the coffee."
There it was again—that warmth spreading from your chest, up to your cheeks, faster than you could stop it. You glanced down, pretending to busy yourself with cleaning the counter, but your hands were shaking slightly.
What did he mean by that? Was he flirting with you? Or were you reading too much into it?
You tried to tell yourself he was just playing, that an attractive man like him wouldn't be interested in someone like you. He was too smooth, too composed, his world far too different from yours. He looked like the kind of man who had a story for every scar and a lie behind every smile.
The tattoo snaking up his neck only added to the mystery, a stark reminder that this man wasn't just another ordinary customer in your grandmother's café. No matter how curious you were, you knew better than to get involved with someone like him. But knowing better didn't stop your heart from fluttering every time he looked at you like that.
And he looked at you like that a lot.
Still, you couldn't help but wonder what his world was really like, what stories were tucked behind that calm, confident smile. You wanted to know why he kept coming back, day after day, ordering a drink that you knew most people found unbearable.
Maybe it was that same pull—the same strange, irresistible pull that had your heart racing in his presence, the one that left you wanting more even though you knew you shouldn't.
Because now, you weren't just making him coffee.
You were waiting for him to come back.
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The club was a chaotic blend of neon lights and pulsing beats, the kind of place where you could lose yourself if you weren't careful. The music thrummed through your body, making your bones vibrate, and the alcohol had done its work. Your limbs felt light, your inhibitions loosened just enough to let you float through the night without a care. You leaned against the wall, scanning the dance floor through the blur of bodies, feeling distanced from the scene yet still tethered to it, your mind somewhere between reality and a tipsy daze.
Then you saw him.
The pretty face.
The man from the café, the one whose presence had lingered in your mind longer than you'd care to admit, even though it had only been a few days since you'd last seen him.
You couldn't tell if it was fate, or maybe just the alcohol playing tricks on you, but there he was, gliding effortlessly through the crowd. His tall frame moved like he was part of the music, his lavender eyes scanning the room until they found you.
And once they did, it was like the whole club faded away. The noise, the lights, the people—it all blurred into the background, leaving only him, walking toward you with that slow, deliberate stride. Your heart skipped a beat, though you weren't sure why. Maybe it was the way he seemed to fit perfectly into this scene, like he was made for the dark allure of places like this.
Or maybe it was the way his eyes never left yours, locking you in place before he even reached you.
When he finally stopped in front of you, that familiar smirk tugged at his lips—the one that had haunted your thoughts since the moment he first walked into the café.
"Didn't expect to see you here," he said, his voice smooth, cutting through the noise like it was meant just for you. The confidence in his tone made it sound like he wasn't surprised at all.
You blinked, trying to shake off the haze, though the alcohol didn't help. "Same. What are you doing here?"
He leaned in, his lips brushing close to your ear, the heat of his breath making your skin tingle. "Looking for a little fun. You?"
His proximity made your stomach twist, a subtle shiver running down your spine as his body radiated warmth. It was the kind of closeness that felt intentional, calculated. He was pulling you in, daring you to respond in kind.
"Just... hanging out," you managed, your voice barely steady. You hoped he didn't hear the tremble in it.
He chuckled softly, his breath skimming the sensitive skin of your neck. "Hanging out alone?"
His question caught you off guard, and you averted your gaze, suddenly aware of how vulnerable you felt under the weight of his attention.
"I came with friends. They're... around somewhere." You waved a hand vaguely, though you hadn't seen them for a while now.
You saw his smirk deepened, his lavender eyes glinting with amusement, but there was something darker there too—something that told you he knew exactly what he was doing.
"Looks like I'm your company now."
You should've pulled away, kept your distance. But instead, your pulse quickened, a thrill shooting through you that you couldn't shake. There was an undeniable magnetism about him, drawing you in, and you couldn't resist the urge to see where this would lead. Perhaps it was the alcohol clouding your judgment, or maybe it was simply him.
The night became a blur of sensation after that. You remembered the two of you drawing closer, your conversations a murmur beneath the pounding music, your body brushing against his more than once. His touch was subtle but deliberate—fingers grazing your waist, the back of your neck, sending sparks through your skin. You couldn't tell if it was intentional or if you were imagining it, but every glance, every brush of his hand made your heart race faster.
Before you knew it, you were outside, stumbling into a cab with him, your head spinning but not just from the alcohol anymore. His lips found the skin of your neck, his fingers tracing lazy patterns on your thigh as if he had all the time in the world. And even though you knew you should be thinking this through, all you could think about was how badly you wanted him to keep touching you.
By the time you reached your apartment, you were barely holding onto reason. His hands were on you the moment you closed the door behind you, his fingers gripping your hips as your back hit the wall. His lips crashed against yours, and you responded with equal intensity, fingers tangling in his hair, your body arching into him.
His kiss was urgent, almost hungry, yet beneath that roughness was a surprising gentleness. His hands moved over you with a mix of care and possession, and when he finally pushed you onto the bed, it felt like you were falling into something deeper than just a fleeting encounter.
His mouth trailed down your body, slow and deliberate, igniting every nerve until your thoughts were nothing but static. When he finally reached between your legs, your breath caught, the sensation almost too much, too perfect. His tongue moved with expert precision, each flick sending waves of pleasure crashing through you. You grabbed at the sheets, your body trembling as he pushed you closer to the edge, until finally, you were lost in it, your world narrowing down to nothing but him.
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The morning sunlight filtered through your bedroom curtains, casting a golden glow on the room. You stirred, feeling the warmth of a body next to yours, the weight of an arm draped across your waist. You thought you were still dreaming. But then you felt his breath on your neck, his hand lazily tracing circles on your back, and reality settled in.
His lavender eyes were open, watching you with a soft, lazy smile, the intensity of last night replaced by something gentler, something almost tender. His fingers continued their slow, soothing motions against your skin, and for a moment, you let yourself get lost in the comfort of it.
"Morning," he murmured, his voice low and rough with sleep.
You blinked, still groggy, your mind trying to catch up with what had happened. As the events of the night before came rushing back, you opened your mouth to say something—anything—but one glaring fact stopped you.
You didn't even know his name.
Heat flooded your cheeks in embarrassment. You'd spent the night tangled up with him, shared something intimate and raw, but somehow, you hadn't learned the most basic thing about him. Biting your lip, you hesitated. "So... I’m drawing a blank. What’s your name?"
His grin widened, a playful spark lighting his eyes. "It's Ran. Ran Haitani." He chuckled, his voice laced with amusement. "Don't you recall moaning it last night?"
Your face burned even hotter at that, and you buried it in the pillow with a groan. "Oh god..."
The pretty face—Ran—laughed softly, his hand rubbing your back in soothing circles. "Relax. I'm not judging."
You peeked up at him through the haze of your own embarrassment, your heart still thudding in your chest. "Is this... was this just a one-time thing?"
Ran's expression shifted, his eyes narrowing slightly as if considering your question more seriously than you'd expected. Then, with that same infuriatingly smooth tone, he replied, "Is that what you want?"
You hesitated, your fingers tracing idle patterns across his chest, feeling the warmth of his skin beneath your touch. "No... not really."
A grin spread across his face, his eyes gleaming with satisfaction. "Good," he said, without missing a beat.
Then he leaned in close, his lips brushing your ear as he whispered, "I was hoping you’d say that. Tonight, then."
True to his word, Ran returned that night, and kept coming back every night after that. Some nights he would arrive unannounced, his knock soft but purposeful, and the moment you opened the door, he'd pull you into him, his hands already sliding over your skin before the door even closed. His lips would capture yours in a hungry kiss, his body pressed hard against yours, as if he had been starving for you the entire day.
Other times, his presence was quieter. He'd crawl into bed beside you, wrapping his arms around your waist as if it was the most natural thing in the world, both of you cocooned in the unspoken connection that had grown between you. No words were needed—no labels or discussions about what this was. But there was an unspoken truth in the air, something more than just casual encounters.
Ran's touch had become familiar, yet each time it felt like a discovery. He knew your body better than anyone else ever had—every curve, every gasp, every way you trembled beneath him. His fingers were always precise, like he was mapping you out with every touch. His thrusts were hard, relentless, but never careless. He'd push you to the brink with a ruthless kind of attention, his focus sharp, knowing exactly how to unravel you. And when you thought you couldn't take any more, that you were completely undone, he would find a way to pull you into another wave, your body responding to him without hesitation.
But there were moments, between the raw intensity, when something shifted. There were nights when Ran would slow down, his movements more deliberate, his lips brushing over your skin with a gentleness that seemed to contradict the ferocity of his desire. His forehead would rest against yours, his breath mingling with yours in the quiet between thrusts. And in those moments, something deeper passed between you, as if his body was speaking what his words wouldn't.
One night, after an especially heated round of sex, you found yourselves caught in one of those moments. His body was still pressed against yours, his hip movements slower now, deliberate, each thrust deep and intimate, as though he wanted to make you feel every inch of him.
The sweat glistened on his tattooed skin, your half-lidded eyes tracing the intricate patterns on the left side of his chest, his throat. In that moment, he seemed so different from the dangerous, mysterious man you'd first met.
The words slipped from your lips before you could stop them, a confession that had been sitting heavy on your chest for too long.
"I love you..."
It was quiet, almost instinctive, but it hung in the air between you, heavy with the weight of its meaning.
Ran froze, mid-thrust, his entire body tensing as if the words had struck him like a blow. His lavender eyes locked onto yours, wide with surprise, as though he hadn't expected you to say it—or maybe hadn't allowed himself to think about the possibility.
The seconds stretched out, your heart hammering in your chest, fear creeping up your spine. Maybe you'd ruined it, broken the fragile balance you'd been walking.
He swallowed hard, his breath shallow, voice rough as he managed to ask, "What?"
You bit your lip, a wave of uncertainty crashing over you. But you didn't back down. You couldn't.
"I love you," you repeated, quieter this time but with all the conviction in your heart. It wasn't just a slip of the tongue. You meant it.
For a moment, Ran just stared at you, his brows drawn together, as if he was processing what you'd said. But then, a flicker of darkness passed through his eyes, and before you could react, his hands gripped your thighs tighter, pushing your legs up higher and closer to your chest, and he drove himself deeper into you with a renewed intensity that took your breath away. His thrusts were rougher now, almost frantic, his breath coming in ragged gasps against your neck.
"Fuck... say that again," he growled, his voice hoarse, filled with a kind of raw need you hadn't heard from him before.
The desperation in his voice sent a jolt of pleasure through you, and you didn't hesitate. "I love you, Ran... I love you," you whispered, your voice breathless, trembling as you clung to him.
"Fuck," he cursed again, his pace becoming erratic as he buried his face in your neck, his breath hot against your skin. You felt his body tremble above you, his fingers digging into your skin as if he needed to anchor himself.
"Love you too, baby," he moaned against your throat, his voice breaking as he pushed you both toward the edge.
Your heart stuttered at his words, at the vulnerability in them, even as pleasure overwhelmed you. His thrusts became more uncoordinated, more frantic, and you felt yourself hurtling toward the peak, your body responding to his with an intensity that left you breathless. You clung to him, nails raking down his back as you both reached your climax, the world narrowing down to the sensation of him inside you, his body trembling against yours as you came together.
When it was over, Ran collapsed onto you, his weight comforting, grounding. His head rested against your shoulder, his breath still coming in uneven gasps as his chest rose and fell against yours. He was still inside you, the warmth of him filling every inch of your body. You could feel his heart hammering against your own, both of you caught in the aftershocks of the moment.
As you lay there, the afterglow of passion still lingering, you saw something different in his eyes. It wasn't just lust, or satisfaction, or even that cocky smirk he so often wore. It was something softer, a vulnerability that surprised you. His lavender eyes searched yours, and for a fleeting moment, you saw it—love. Real and raw, something he didn't say often, maybe something he hadn't allowed himself to feel until now.
He loved you. He really loved you.
Or at least, that's what you wanted to believe.
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Your relationship with Ran Haitani had always felt like a whirlwind—fast, intoxicating, and all-consuming. It was a heady rush, each night spent tangled in sheets, each day a stolen moment of passion. Ran never hesitated to claim your time, whether it was quiet afternoons spent wandering the city or chaotic nights in the throbbing heart of nightclubs. In those moments, when the bass pounded through the air and the sweat clung to your skin, the world outside ceased to exist. It was just the two of you, and in those fleeting hours, nothing else mattered.
He had a way of making you feel like you were the center of his world, even though there were pieces of him you could never quite reach. His eyes, that lazy, predatory gaze, would linger on you in a way that sent shivers down your spine, yet there was always something lurking behind them—something he never allowed you to see. Whenever you asked about his life, his work, the parts of himself that stayed locked away, he'd brush off your concerns with that signature smirk.
"Oh, it’s nothing much. Just a bit of this and that. You know, nothing too serious.” Ran paused one day, his eyes narrowing slightly as he studied your face. “Don’t worry your pretty little head about it. I’m always safe, always in control.” He leaned in closer, his voice dropping to a whisper. "Besides, I've got you to look after me, right?"
A small smile tugged at your lips as you tried to hide your concern. You knew better than to pry, but you couldn’t shake the feeling that there was more to Ran than what he was letting on.
Slowly, the cracks began to show. The nights together became fewer, the distance between you growing with each passing day. Weeks stretched into months, and his absence became a haunting presence in your life. You clung to every fleeting appearance, every time he showed up with flowers or an exhausted smile, desperate to believe that this was just temporary. That he would come back to you, like he always had.
But, one day, he simply stopped coming altogether.
Your calls went unanswered. Messages left on read. The silence was deafening, and each passing day felt like a slow descent into despair. You told yourself he was busy. That something had come up. But deep down, a gnawing fear had already taken root in your heart. Something was wrong, and you were helpless to stop it.
Then the doorbell rang.
Your heart leaped in your chest, hope surging through your veins. You practically stumbled to the door, expecting to see him standing there with that familiar, infuriating smirk. But when you opened the door, the sight that greeted you wasn't Ran. It was a group of police officers, their expressions stern, almost apologetic.
"Are you familiar with a man named Ran Haitani?" one of the officers asked, their voice flat, emotionless.
You froze. The blood drained from your face, your hands suddenly clammy. "Ran?" you stammered, your voice barely above a whisper. "Yes, I... why? What happened? Is he alright?"
The officer's gaze hardened slightly. "We've received information that he may be hiding drugs here. We have a warrant to search the premises."
For a moment, you couldn't process the words. It felt like the ground had disappeared beneath your feet, the world tilting violently. "Drugs?" you echoed, disbelief thick in your throat. "No, there must be some mistake. He—he wouldn't..."
"Ran Haitani is a member of Bonten, ma'am," the officer continued, voice clipped. "A criminal organization involved in drug trafficking and other illegal activities. He's been under surveillance for months."
Bonten. The word hit you like a punch to the gut, knocking the air from your lungs. You had heard the name before, in passing—whispers of a syndicate that controlled the city's underworld. A dangerous, ruthless group that no one dared to cross. But Ran... your Ran.... was part of that?
Numbness spread through your body as you watched the officers step inside, moving past you with cold efficiency. They didn't wait for permission. They didn't need it. For the next hour, you stood there, frozen in place, as they turned your apartment upside down. Every drawer, every cupboard, every corner of your life with him exposed to their cold, methodical search.
And then they found it.
Tucked away behind a pile of your clothes in the back of the closet—several small packets of drugs. The officer pulled them out, holding them up as if they were the final, irrefutable proof of your own naivety.
You stared at the stash, the air leaving your lungs in shallow gasps. It felt like a nightmare, like the world was shattering around you. How could you have been so blind? How had you not seen it? The man you had fallen so deeply for, the man with the charming smile and the pretty face, had been using you. Playing you.
The officer noticed your stunned silence, offering you a pitying look. "I'm sorry. But this isn't uncommon. People like him—people in his line of work—they use those closest to them as cover. It's easier to hide their tracks that way."
The words felt like daggers, twisting inside you. Tears welled up in your eyes, but you forced them back. "So... everything he said, everything we had—it was all a lie?"
The officer hesitated, as if unsure how to answer. In the end, he didn't. His silence spoke louder than words ever could.
They left, taking the drugs with them, leaving you alone in the echo of your now-empty apartment. The space felt colder, emptier, as if Ran's absence had finally filled the void it was always destined to leave. You sank to the floor, knees drawn to your chest, your body trembling as the weight of everything came crashing down on you.
The memories—of his laugh, his touch, the way he'd pull you close in the dead of night—now felt like sharp fragments cutting into your soul. You had fallen for him so completely, let him into every part of your life, and he had shattered you in return. How easily you had believed in him, in his lazy smiles and gentle touches, all the while he had been weaving a web of lies.
He was the liar with the pretty face. And you? You had been his willing victim, drawn in by the allure of his charm, too blinded by love to see the truth.
As you sat there, the tears finally broke free, silent and unrelenting. You wanted to scream, to rage, to tear apart the image of the man who had once made you feel like you were everything. But all that came was quiet sobs, muffled by the crushing weight of betrayal.
And even through the pain, a part of you still waited—still hoped—that one day, Ran would come back. That he would walk through that door with that same infuriating grin, lavender eyes gleaming as if none of this had ever happened. Because love, even when built on lies, is hard to kill.
But deep down, you knew. He wasn't coming back.
And maybe, just maybe, that was the cruelest lie of all.
< the end >
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© CANDYEAGER. do not copy, repost, modify, or translate my works in any other platforms.
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sukunas-bitxh · 7 months ago
Text
OMG THIS IS BRUTUAL LEAVING US ON A JUCIY CLIFFHANGER
𝐁𝐎𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍'𝐒 𝐍𝐔𝐌𝐁𝐄𝐑 𝐓𝐖𝐎
— sanzu haruchiyo x fem!reader
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PART THREE 18.9k words
short summary. in which your heartbreak over Mikey pulls you into the dangerous and irresistible orbit of Bonten's Number Two, Haruchiyo Sanzu. warnings. sanzu haruchiyo is his own warning, graphic violence, substance abuse, toxic/manipulative relationships, explicit sexual content, depression & self-destructive behaviour, strong language. tags. female reader insert, bonten au, tsundere!sanzu, ex-boyfriend!mikey, angst with a happy ending, slow burn, heavy pining/yearning.
masterlist
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Haruchiyo Sanzu is a menace. A relentless, goddamn menace. You never thought your day would end like this: chest heaving, lungs burning, and the icy river clutching your limbs as you fight to outswim him.
The water is like knives against your skin, each stroke of your arms a battle against the current’s merciless pull. Your muscles scream for relief, but you push forward, desperation outweighing exhaustion. The river churns around you, a cold, chaotic force, but it’s nothing compared to the chaos pounding in your chest.
Behind you, Sanzu moves through the water like a shark, a deadly predator with no intention of letting you escape.
You don’t feel bad about what you did. No, not in the slightest. If anything, there’s a flicker of pride burning beneath your fear, a stubborn satisfaction at the thought of his precious katana now rotting at the bottom of a dumpster. That cursed blade—sleek and gleaming, a symbol of everything twisted about him—had haunted you for years. Its absence from his side feels like a small victory, even if it might cost you your life.
“You really think you can fucking outrun me?” Sanzu’s voice tears through the air, sharp and furious, even over the roar of the river. 
The sound chills you more than the water ever could. But you don’t stop. You can’t. Every ounce of strength left in your body is channeled into moving forward, even as water splashes into your mouth, making you choke. Your legs are heavy, your strokes weaker with every second, and deep down, you know he’s gaining on you.
Then you feel it.
Fingers tangle in your hair, wrenching your head back with brutal force. Pain explodes across your scalp, and your scream is cut short by the river’s icy grip as you’re dragged under for a moment. You thrash and kick, limbs flailing uselessly, but his hold is unyielding. Sanzu pulls you closer with the ease of someone completely at home in the water, his grip like iron and his strokes deliberate.
“You’ve got some nerve, I’ll tell you that,” he growls, his breath hot against your ear despite the freezing water. “But not enough brains.”
“Stop it!” you gasp, twisting in his grasp, but it only makes him tighten his grip.
“Stop? Now you want to stop?” he echoes, mocking, each word laced with venom. “You started this. Don’t tell me you’re giving up already.”
His fingers release your hair, but before you can lunge forward, his arm snakes around your waist, pulling you tight against him. His chest presses against your back, solid and immovable, and you feel the steady beat of his heart, infuriatingly calm.
“Fuck this! Let me go!” you shout, desperation in your voice, but Sanzu only laughs, low and dark, the sound of his laughter reverberating through your body.
“Keep squirming,” he murmurs, his lips close to your ear. His breath is warm against your wet skin, a stark contrast to the icy water. “It’s cute how you think that’s going to help.”
The chill of the river feels distant now, overshadowed by the heat of his body pressed against yours. His chest rises and falls with controlled, steady breaths, while you struggle just to keep yours from hitching in fear. 
Sanzu drags you through the water effortlessly, like you’re nothing more than a ragdoll. Even when your feet finally scrape against the muddy riverbank, it’s not relief you feel—only dread. He doesn’t release you. Instead, he hauls you out of the water with an ease that makes your stomach churn, his grip firm and unforgiving.
Before you can think to run, he’s on top of you, pressing you down against the earth, his knees digging into the dirt on either side of your body. The ground is cold, wet, but it’s nothing compared to the heat radiating from him. Water drips from his pink hair, his soaked clothes clinging to his lean, muscled frame.
“Oh, you thought you could escape me, did you?” he says, his tone dripping with mockery. “You underestimate me too much.”
Your chest heaves as you glare up at him, defiance flickering in your eyes despite the ache in your limbs and the bruising grip of his hand. 
“I could’ve—” your voice is sharp, cutting through the pounding in your ears, “if you weren’t such a lunatic.”
Sanzu’s lips curve into a smirk, a dangerous spark flickering in his teal eyes. His fingers, damp and cold, brush against your jaw, forcing your face upward. You flinch at his touch, but he holds you still, his thumb grazing the pulse beating rapidly beneath your skin. 
“Careful now,” he murmurs, his voice as smooth as silk yet laced with steel. “You’ve already pissed me off. Don’t make this worse for yourself, sweetheart.”
Your fists clench at your sides, nails digging into your palms to stave off the rising wave of panic. Every nerve in your body screams at you to shove him away, to fight, to do something. But his weight presses down on you, solid and immovable, pinning you in place. 
Deep down, you know there’s no escaping Haruchiyo Sanzu today. 
And judging by the wicked grin that spreads across his face, he knows it too.
“So what?” you snap, but the sharpness of your tone falters as his unrelenting gaze bears down on you. It’s like staring into a storm, unpredictable and cruel. “You gonna strangle me? Threaten to kill me again?”
“Threaten?” His smile widens. “What makes you think I won’t kill you for real this time?”
The threat hangs in the air like a blade poised to strike. Sanzu dips his head lower, his lips brushing the shell of your ear, the heat of his breath sending a shiver down your spine. 
“I warned you, didn't I?” His voice is low, almost a whisper. “I can end anyone—anyone. You’re no different. A flick of my wrist, and you’re gone. Don’t ever forget that.”
You flinch at his words, your breath hitching as the reality of them settles over you. You’re painfully aware of how easy it would be for him to make good on his threat. This isn’t bravado—it’s the cold, unyielding truth. Sanzu doesn’t bluff.
“To think I actually showed you pity,” he mutters. “Gave you comfort, even, while you were bawling over Mikey.”
The mention of Mikey’s name hits like a sucker punch, dragging air from your lungs. Sanzu watches you, his eyes glittering with that familiar sadistic delight, as though your pain is just another game for him to toy with.
But even as your chest tightens, anger starts to simmer beneath the surface. You snort, the sound bitter and jagged, tearing its way free despite the tremor in your body. It’s involuntary, absurd, like every other moment with him. 
“Comfort?” you echo, the word dripping with disbelief. 
A flicker of confusion crosses Sanzu’s face, but it’s gone as quickly as it came, irritation hardening his features. His eyes narrow, sharpening like twin daggers, locking onto yours with unrelenting force.
“Yeah, comfort,” he snaps, his tone defensive, like the very suggestion that he’s in the wrong offends him. “What? Need me to spell it out for you?”
Your stomach churns, anger bubbling inside you. His twisted sense of comfort, the smugness in his tone—as if he’d done you some noble favor—it’s enough to make your blood boil. You lean forward without thinking, every ounce of rage clawing its way up your throat, refusing to let him have the upper hand.
“You call that comfort?” you spit, the accusation landing between you like a grenade.
Sanzu doesn’t flinch. His jaw tightens, but he doesn’t look away.
“You gave me drugs, Sanzu,” you continue, your voice rising with every word. “That’s your idea of comfort? Dulling me down? Making me numb? How the hell is that comfort?”
At that said, you see his teasing smirk vanish entirely, wiped away like a smear of paint, and what’s left is a man unhinged. Without warning, his hand shoots up, his fingers curling around your jaw with bruising force.
“Shut your mouth,” he hisses, leaning closer until his face is inches from yours. “You were a fucking mess. Sobbing. Falling apart. I did you a fucking favor. You hear me? I fixed you.”
Your heart pounds against your ribs, each beat echoing in your ears. The rushing sound of the river fades into the background, leaving nothing but his voice and the weight of his hand on your face.
But even as fear twists in your chest, rage burns hotter.
“You didn’t fix me,” you say, your voice trembling but fierce. “You ruined me.”
His eyes flash, a dangerous glint sparking in their depths. He doesn’t let go, his fingers digging into your skin as though he’s trying to imprint his version of the truth onto you.
“You were already broken,” he sneers. “I just made it easier for you to handle. Don’t act like you didn’t need it.”
You glare up at him, defiance flaring despite the way your pulse races beneath his hand. “I didn’t need you,” you snap, spitting the words like venom. “And I never will.”
His grip continues to tighten painfully, making you wince. For a moment, you think he might snap entirely from the way his dark, intense eyes bore into you, his expression a mask of barely suppressed violence. You can almost feel the heat radiating off him, a pure, unadulterated rage.
But then, from the shadows, a voice cut through the silence.
“Sanzu.”
The single word carries no urgency, no anger, but it’s laced with authority—calm, controlled, and utterly commanding.
Sanzu’s grip loosens just slightly, his head snapping toward the sound. His entire demeanor shifts in an instant, the manic edge in his eyes flickering and fading. You turn your head too, your breath catching as you catch sight of him stepping out of the darkness.
Mikey.
He stands a few feet away, his expression unreadable. His dark eyes flicker between you and Sanzu, assessing the situation in a glance, the faint frown on his face betraying a sliver of displeasure.
The sight of him hit you like a physical blow, your chest tightening painfully. How long has it been since you’d last seen him? Since the day you’d walked away? Time blurs in the aftermath, but now, with him standing there, it feels as though no time has passed at all.
Sanzu’s grip on your jaw loosens, but he doesn’t release you immediately. His fingers linger, teal eyes flicking back to yours, scanning your face as though searching for something. You can’t tell what—fear, defiance, or maybe something he doesn’t even understand himself.
“Late, as always,” Sanzu mutters, his tone casual, but the tightness in his jaw betrays his unease.
Mikey doesn’t waver, his voice steady as steel. “Let her go.”
Sanzu doesn’t move at first. His fingers remain curled around your jaw, the pressure a subtle reminder of his power over you. But then, slowly, he releases you, his hand falling away as he straightens.
You gasp for breath, your hand flying to your sore jaw as you scramble to sit up. Your limbs tremble, but you can’t bring yourself to meet Mikey’s eyes—not yet. The weight of his presence is overwhelming, suffocating.
“She’s lucky I didn’t kill her,” Sanzu mutters, shoving his hands into his pockets as he steps back.
Mikey’s eyes linger on you for a moment longer before shifting back to Sanzu. His expression remains impassive, but the silence between them is heavy, crackling with unspoken tension.
“Go,” Mikey says finally.
Sanzu raises an eyebrow, his lips curling into a faint sneer. 
“As you wish, boss,” he says, his tone taunting, though he doesn’t linger. With a mocking salute, he turns and strides off into the shadows, leaving you alone with Mikey.
The silence that follows is deafening.
You stay on the ground, your breathing uneven as you try to steady yourself. The ache in your jaw is nothing compared to the storm raging inside you.
And for the first time in a long time, you realize you don’t know who scares you more: Haruchiyo Sanzu, the unhinged and dangerous man who just walked away, or Manjiro Sano, the boy you once loved who now looms over you like a stranger cloaked in darkness.
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Haruchiyo Sanzu’s presence makes it impossible to focus. You’re back at the café where, just hours ago, you’d seen Mikey with his wife. Now, Mikey sits in front of you, his familiar gaze fixed on your face, while Sanzu lingers in the periphery, leaning casually against the wall. You can feel his teal eyes on you even when you’re not looking.
“You’re okay?” Mikey’s voice cuts through your train of thought, snapping your attention back to him. “You look pale.”
The truth hovers just below the surface. Of course, you’re not okay. How could you be? His concern, once something you found so grounding, now feels like salt in an open wound. It’s like he’s still trying to play the role of your savior when he was the one who let you fall.
“Never better,” you say sharply, the sarcasm laced so thick it almost chokes you.
It’s not a lie. Not entirely. Never better because you’ve finally been forced to stand on your own, but never worse because Mikey—because he’s Mikey—makes it impossible to forget what you lost.
Mikey sighs quietly, the sound so familiar yet so infuriating. It’s the same sigh he always gave when he thought you were being unreasonable, and it only stirs your anger further.
“I still care,” he starts but then stops, swallowing back the rest of the sentence. His jaw tightens, and he adjusts his words like he’s afraid of what he might say next, “I’ve always wanted the best for you, even now.”
You almost laugh, the bitterness rising in your throat. The best for me? If that were true, would you even be here, unraveling piece by piece? His words are like a knife, and he doesn’t even know he’s holding it.
“I heard you moved out of your old apartment,” he adds, as if that’s what matters right now. 
Our old apartment, you correct silently, the words bitter on your tongue. The place where Mikey used to hold you through restless nights, where laughter once filled the air, and where you’d built your life together. But now, it’s just a place you couldn’t bear to stay in, a graveyard for everything you thought would last.
“If there’s anything I can do to help—”
“Like what?” you snap, your words cutting through his sentence. “You think I can’t survive without you?”
Mikey doesn’t answer right away, and the silence that follows only worsens the sting. His hesitation is maddening, but worse is the look that settles on his face—soft, almost pitying. It makes your blood boil.
You know you’re digging your own grave. You’ve relied on Mikey since you were sixteen, leaning on him for support in every way that mattered. It’s obvious you’ve survived this long because of him, but that doesn’t mean you can’t start now. That doesn’t mean you need him anymore.
Still, his silence gnaws at you, and when he finally speaks, his voice is calm, measured, like he’s walking on eggshells.
“I know you can,” he says gently. “You’re strong, capable, and I admire that. But if you ever need someone to lean on, I’m here for you. You can depend on me.”
His words should feel like a lifeline, but instead, they feel like chains. Because you know what he’s really saying. He’s offering help, but it’s the kind that comes with the knowledge that you’ll always be just a little weaker than him. 
That you’ll always need him. 
“Depend on you?” you repeat, your voice cold, biting. “That’s rich coming from someone who left. You're the one who fucked me up, Mikey!”
Your words hang in the air, sharp and unforgiving. Heads turn toward you, curious eyes flicking your way, but you don’t care. Let them stare. Let them hear every word—every ounce of pain he left behind. It’s either your voice rises, or your dam breaks. And you’d rather be seen as crazy than weak.
Especially in front of him.
Mikey’s face tightens, his hands curling into fists on the table, but he doesn’t interrupt. His silence only fuels your rage, pushing you closer to the edge.
“I don’t need your help,” you continue, your voice rising. “I don’t need you. I don’t need anyone! I’ve been fine these past months—”
Lies. All lies.
You haven’t been fine. You’ve been living in survival mode, barely holding yourself together. Nights spent staring at the ceiling, choking on the weight of your own heartbreak. The fragile pieces of your heart held together by sheer will.
“—And honestly, I’d rather trust a lunatic like Sanzu than you. At least he’d be honest about being a monster.”
As soon as the words leave your mouth, you know Sanzu’s eyes are on you, boring into the side of your head. You can feel the weight of his gaze even as you refuse to look his way. He’s going to kill you for that, for calling him a monster, but you’re too angry to care.
Across the table, Mikey lowers his gaze to his hands, his expression shadowed. He has the audacity to look ashamed—whether it’s of himself or of you, you don’t know. And you don’t care anymore.
The weight in your chest feels unbearable now, pressing down on you like it’s trying to crush the air from your lungs. You rise to your feet abruptly, the chair scraping loudly against the floor. Without a second glance at Mikey, or anyone else for that matter, you storm out of the café.
Sanzu is standing by the door, but you don’t even look at him as you pass by. You can still feel his gaze on you, following your every step.
Outside, the chill bites at your skin, but it’s nothing compared to the storm inside you. The world feels too bright, too loud, and too indifferent to your pain. The tears that blur your vision now are hot, a stark contrast to the cold air brushing against your cheeks. You wipe them away furiously, but they keep coming, spilling over like water from a broken dam.
And then you see her.
You freeze. 
It’s her. Mikey’s wife.
The source of your pain, your heartbreak, your sleepless nights. 
She’s standing across the street, radiant and serene, as if she belongs to another world entirely—a world without heartbreak, without sleepless nights, without you. The sight of her punches the air from your lungs. You can’t look away, even though every fiber of your being screams at you to turn around, to run.
Her beauty is effortless, the kind of beauty that doesn’t try but still outshines everything. She moves with the grace of someone who knows exactly where they belong, her confidence unshaken by the storm she’s left in her wake. You feel the cracks in your resolve widening with every step she takes, every smile she offers to her bodyguard as he opens the car door for her.
She steps into the sleek black car with the kind of ease that feels like mockery. It’s just another perfect day for her, another moment where her life glides forward without a hitch. And here you are, standing on the sidewalk with your heart shattered into pieces so small they might never come back together.
Your knees feel weak, your vision swimming as the tears threaten to consume you entirely. The world spins, a dizzying blur of faces and voices, and for a moment, you think you might collapse right here. Let the concrete catch you, let the city swallow you whole—anything to escape this unbearable weight.
Then all of a sudden, you hear that familiar deep, gravelly voice.
“Get in the car. I’m sending you home.”
You don’t need to turn around to know who it is. The voice, the aura—it’s unmistakably him. He's followed you out of the café, his presence as persistent as the evening’s chill.
You slowly turn, and there he is—Sanzu. 
The car nearest to you beeps as he unlocks it, slipping his keys back into his pocket with a flick of his wrist. His movements are smooth, controlled, and yet there’s an underlying tension that makes the air between you feel heavy. He steps closer, his smirk sharp, but his eyes—those teal eyes—are watching you too closely, betraying something deeper beneath his casual façade.
“You’re a mess,” he says, his voice low, almost lazy. “But I guess that’s not exactly breaking news, is it?”
You glare at him, the tears still hot on your cheeks. “And why the hell do you care?”
Sanzu’s smirk twitches and almost falters, but he catches himself. He leans in slightly, close enough that you can see the faint scar near his lips, the faint gleam of sharpness in his eyes.
“Care? Oh, sweetheart, don’t flatter yourself,” he drawls, his tone dripping with condescension. 
“I’m only here because Mikey asked. Said you were gonna embarrass yourself if I didn’t get you off the street. And, well…” He tilts his head, his grin widening just enough to make your blood boil some more. “He’s probably right.”
His words hit like a slap, and your hands curl into fists at your sides. “Go to hell, Sanzu,” you snap, turning to walk away. “I don’t need a babysitter, least of all you.”
But you don’t make it far before his voice cuts through the air again.
“You really think I’d let you walk around like that?” he says, the sharpness in his tone stopping you in your tracks. 
You turn back to face him, and this time, his expression has shifted. The smirk is still there, but it’s quieter now, his eyes narrowing as they study you.
“You’ve got tear stains on your face, your hands are shaking, and you just screamed at Mikey loud enough to wake half the city,” he continues. “So tell me, princess, what’s your grand plan? Walk until you fucking collapse? Or maybe you’re hoping someone worse than me will pick you up?”
You swallow hard, his words cutting deeper than you want to admit. But you refuse to let him see how much they affect you. 
“I’ll be fine,” you bite out, lifting your chin defiantly. “I don’t need anyone.”
Sanzu laughs, a sharp, humorless sound that sends a shiver down your spine. “Yeah, that’s cute. Real cute. But here’s the thing: I don’t give a damn what you think you need right now. You’re getting in the car.”
You shake your head, your anger rising again. “You don’t get to decide—”
His hand shoots out, grabbing your wrist—not hard, but firm enough to make you freeze. His gaze locks onto yours, and for the first time, the mask he wears cracks just slightly.
“Listen,” he says quietly, his voice losing its usual edge. “You’re not fine. And I’m not about to let you spiral because you’re too damn stubborn to admit it.”
The unexpected hint of concern catches you off guard. You stare at him, searching his face for any form of an explanation, but all you find is that same unreadable look he always gives you.
He lets go of your wrist, stepping back. “Do us both a favor,” he mutters, his tone sharp again. “Quit wasting my time and get in. Or do you want Mikey to think you’re this pathetic?”
The mention of Mikey’s name is enough to make your blood boil all over again, and you storm past Sanzu, sliding into the passenger seat with a huff. You slam the door shut, refusing to look at him as he rounds the car and slips into the driver’s seat.
The engine roars to life, and as the car pulls away from the curb, you can feel his gaze flicker toward you. He doesn’t say anything else, but the silence between you feels heavier than words.
You glance out the window, your chest still tight, your mind racing. You don’t know what’s more unsettling: the fact that Sanzu came for you, or the fact that, for all his mockery and death threats, a part of you believes he might actually care.
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Haruchiyo Sanzu confuses you. He always has.
The memory of your first meeting lingers in your mind, a thorn that never dulls. His hair was its natural pale blonde back then, the soft strands a stark contrast to the sharpness of his features. Most of his face was hidden behind that ever-present black mask, as if he wanted to stay hidden even in plain sight. But his eyes—the way they raked over you, cold and unwelcoming—made it clear enough that you were an outsider.
“Can't believe Mikey’s letting some chick walk all over him like that,” he had said the first time he saw you, his tone as cutting as the edge of a blade. “She’s probably got him wrapped around her little finger, sucking all the edge right out of him. Pathetic.”
He didn’t bother lowering his voice, didn’t care that you were within earshot. To him, you weren’t someone worth sparing. You were an anomaly in Mikey’s meticulously crafted world—a fragile thing, bound to break and take Mikey down with you.
It hadn’t hurt back then, not the way it might now. At the time, Haruchiyo Sanzu had been nothing more than an arrogant, brooding boy—a shadow that clung too closely to Mikey. A boy with a fervent, almost fanatical loyalty that bordered on obsession.
Even then, though, there had been an unshakable truth about him: Sanzu would do anything for Mikey.
You hadn’t realized how much weight that truth carried until the day you were forced to rely on him. Mikey had been surrounded—dozens of enemies closing in, their shouts echoing in the air like a war drum. You’d known Mikey could handle himself. He always could. But something primal, something terrifying, had clawed its way into your chest, leaving you breathless and desperate.
And so, against your better judgment, you’d turned to Sanzu. You still remembered the way he had looked at you like you were dirt on his shoes, something insignificant and beneath him. 
“Scram, you little brat!” he’d snapped, his tone laced with warning. “You’re out of your league here, so fucking get lost!”
But despite his words, he went. Without hesitation, without question. You’d stood frozen, watching as he moved—his katana gleaming like liquid silver, cutting through the chaos with terrifying precision. Blood sprayed, painting the air with crimson streaks, and the sound of steel meeting flesh rang in your ears.
Sanzu had been merciless. Efficient. Unstoppable.
Mikey was the same, you knew that. But Mikey never let you see that part of him. He was careful with you, always holding something back, as if he didn’t want to shatter the image of the boy you thought he was.
But Sanzu? He never cared about sparing you.
You’d always been an outsider in his eyes.
And yet, now, years later, after everything—after all the threats, the hatred, after your messy, heartbreaking breakup with Mikey—you find yourself sitting in Sanzu’s car, the hum of the engine the only sound between you.
It feels wrong.
Haruchiyo Sanzu isn’t the type to care, to go out of his way to help someone. Especially not you. And yet, here you are, gripping the edge of your seat as he drives you home.
The streets blur past the window, streaks of gold and crimson from the setting sun spilling across the world outside. You catch his reflection in the glass—the sharp line of his jaw, the way his lips press into a faint scowl even when he’s relaxed.
He doesn’t speak. He doesn’t glance at you. But his presence fills the car like a storm cloud, heavy and inescapable.
Your gaze drifts to his hands—one on the wheel, the other resting on his thigh. His long fingers tap a slow, absent rhythm, betraying a restless energy he won’t let show anywhere else. The tendons shift under his skin, his movements deceptively delicate for someone who wields death so easily.
The light hits his face just right as you glance at him. The gold of the sunset softens the hard lines of his features, catches in his pink hair, and makes it glow like a firelight. For a fleeting moment, he doesn’t look like the Haruchiyo Sanzu you know.
Not the lunatic you’ve always known. Not the monster who once strangled you while high, forcing your first pill down your throat under the pretense of “comfort.” Not the Haruchiyo Sanzu who swings his katana without a second thought, who laughs at the chaos he creates.
No, this version of him—silent, calm, almost serene—feels like someone else entirely.
The thought unsettles you.
You shake your head, trying to banish it. This is Sanzu, you remind yourself. The lunatic. The monster. The man you have every reason to hate.
But even as the words repeat in your mind, they sound weaker than they should.
The car rolls to a stop outside your apartment, and for a moment, neither of you moves. The silence stretches, heavy and taut, until it feels like the weight of unspoken words might crush you. But he doesn’t speak. He never does when it matters.
You step out of the car, the door closing with a soft click behind you. The evening air bites at your skin, but you barely feel it as you turn back to watch him. His face is unreadable, eyes fixed straight ahead, his fingers still tapping that absent rhythm on his thigh.
The car pulls away, his taillights vanishing into the distance, leaving you standing there, alone and more confused than ever.
Haruchiyo Sanzu confuses you.
And tonight, as the memory of his quiet presence lingers, you hate that he does.
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Actually, scratch that.
Haruchiyo Sanzu is a damn petty bastard.
For a brief, fleeting moment, you’d thought the two of you might’ve reached some unspoken understanding. Sure, no words were exchanged, and yes, all he did was drive you home. But still, there had been a quiet truce in the air—a rare moment of something that almost resembled civility.
Clearly, you were wrong.
The realization hits you the second you step into your apartment.
Your breath catches in your throat, and for a moment, you’re frozen in place. The space you’ve spent months trying to make your own—your sanctuary—is unrecognizable. Empty.
Gone is the couch where you spent lazy afternoons staring at the ceiling, lost in thought. Gone are the shelves, once filled with books and little trinkets that held pieces of you. Your bed—your safe haven after long, grueling days—nothing but an empty outline on the floor now. Even the faint scent of lavender, your ever-present diffuser, has vanished, replaced by the sterile smell of nothingness.
Your footsteps echo as you take a cautious step forward, the sound bouncing off bare walls, mocking you. The knot in your stomach tightens, your mind scrambling for explanations that don’t exist. For a brief, desperate second, you think maybe there’s been some mistake. 
But the truth—the infuriating, maddening truth—is instant and undeniable.
The only person who knows your new address is Haruchiyo Sanzu.
Your chest tightens as fury ignites in you, searing hot and fast. Of course it’s him. Who else would have the audacity? The lunacy?
You think back to last week, to the moment you thought, stupidly, that he might’ve been capable of a shred of decency. The way he’d driven you home without a single cruel jab. The way he’d let you leave his car without some biting remark to twist the knife. You’d wanted to believe there was some humanity lurking beneath the madness.
How naive.
This—this empty apartment, this gutted wreckage of your life—is his grand fucking statement.
He’d sent you home just so he could rip it all away again.
You clench your fists, nails digging into your palms as fury courses through you. It’s not hard to figure out why he did it. Beyond the fact that he’s a complete lunatic, this has revenge written all over it. He’s still pissed about you dumping his precious katana into the dumpster like the trash it was. This is payback. The emptiness surrounding you is proof of that.
How fucking petty.
Your gaze sweeps over the barren apartment, landing on the empty space where your coffee table used to be. Fury roils in your chest, spilling out in waves, hotter with every passing second. If you’d known it would come to this, you wouldn’t have stopped at tossing his katana.
No, you’d have gone for the jugular.
You’d have stolen his entire stash of pills, the ones he guards like a feral dog. The ones he pops like candy, always chasing some chemical peace he’ll never find. Or better yet—burned down his condominium entirely.
No. You’d evacuate everyone first, of course. You’re not a monster.
But Sanzu? You’d leave him there. Trapped. Let the fire consume everything he holds dear—his overpriced furniture, his meticulously curated wardrobe, his godforsaken colorful pills. You can almost picture it: flames licking at his skin, his screams swallowed by the roaring inferno.
The image is so vivid, so satisfying, it almost makes you smile. Almost.
You shake your head, trying to push the thought away. No. You’re not a murderer. 
You’re not him.
But standing here in this gutted shell of your home, your hands trembling with barely restrained rage, it’s hard to hold onto that truth.
Sanzu has this way of dragging you down to his level, of twisting your emotions until the unthinkable feels reasonable. He pushes and prods and poisons until there’s nothing left but anger and the quiet hum of violence that he wears like a second skin.
And right now? Right now, you’ve never wanted to kill someone more in your entire life.
Sanzu.
That goddamn petty bastard.
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“Haruchiyo Sanzu! Go to hell!”
Your scream tears through the bustling city noise, sharp and furious, loud enough to make heads turn. People stop mid-step, startled by the force of it, but you don’t care. You’re standing at the edge of the footbridge, your fists clenched so tightly that your nails dig into your palms. And there he is—the man himself—walking casually along the road below you like he hasn’t turned your entire life upside down.
Sanzu stops in his tracks, turning slightly to glance up at you. For a moment, his teal eyes widen in genuine shock, as if he can’t quite believe what he’s hearing.
Good. Let him be shocked. Let him know exactly what’s coming.
The fire inside you burns hotter as you storm down the bridge. It’s been raging ever since you stepped into your empty apartment and realized he was behind it. You hadn’t even stopped to think before running to his condominium. 
For thirty minutes, you’d pounded on his door like a lunatic, your voice hoarse from shouting his name. Your rage was loud enough to bring out one of his neighbors, a sour-faced old man who only stepped outside to inform you, with no small amount of irritation, that Sanzu had left ten minutes ago.
You’d muttered a half-hearted apology to the neighbor before taking off again, your rage fueling every step. You’d searched the streets near his condo like a woman possessed, the thought of spending the night on a cold, hard floor making you see red.
If anyone’s sleeping uncomfortably tonight, it’ll be Sanzu. Preferably on his deathbed.
And now, after all that, you’ve found him. Walking casually toward his sleek black car. He looks calm. Relaxed. Like he doesn’t have a care in the world. Like he hasn’t just uprooted your life for the sake of some petty, calculated revenge.
Your shout stops him, but only for a second.
He blinks, his momentary surprise melting into something unreadable. Then, without a word, he turns away and keeps walking, as if nothing happened.
The audacity.
Your feet move before your brain catches up, propelling you forward with reckless speed. The world around you blurs—faces, voices, none of it registers. Passersby step aside, startled by the sheer force of your determination, their wide-eyed stares sliding off you like water off glass.
All you can focus on is Sanzu.
He’s climbing into the back seat of his sleek black car now, his movements deliberate, calm, unbothered. Pretending he doesn’t see you, pretending he didn’t just hear you scream his name moments ago.
He doesn’t even look at you as he settles in the back seat, his long fingers gripping the edge of the door. His lack of acknowledgment feels like a slap to the face, stoking the fire in your chest until it threatens to consume you.
Not today.
You slam your palm against the car door just as he begins to close it, the force of it rattling the frame. The sound echoes through the air, startling even you with its sharpness.
“What?” you demand, your chest heaving as you catch your breath. “Running away now?”
Sanzu looks up at you with maddening calm, his teal eyes catching the glow of the streetlights. For a split second, you think he might actually take you seriously. But then it happens—that smirk. That insufferable, smug curve of his lips that makes your anger spike higher. It’s the kind of smirk that tells you he’s been expecting this, that he’s been waiting for you to find him.
And worse? He’s enjoying it.
“Oh, no, sweetheart,” he says smoothly, leaning back against the seat with an air of infuriating nonchalance. “I never run away from a fight.”
The deliberate ease of his tone feels like gasoline on the fire. His teal eyes glint with amusement, and that smirk of his—God, that smirk—widens just enough to make your fists itch.
“But,” he continues smoothly, as if he has all the time in the world, “as much as I’d love to fight you right now and remind you of your place, I’ve got a meeting in ten.” 
He taps his watch, feigning impatience. “So, unfortunately, I’m not exactly in the mood to entertain your whining.”
Whining.
The sheer arrogance in his tone makes your vision blur for a moment, your nails digging into your palms as you clench your fists. He’s doing this on purpose, you realize. Poking at your anger, stoking the flames, and loving every second of it.
“Don’t fucking test me, Sanzu!” you snap, your voice sharp with barely restrained fury. The effort it takes to keep yourself from grabbing him by the collar is monumental. “Give me back my things!”
Sanzu tilts his head slightly. “Your things? You’re gonna have to be more specific than that.”
You take a step closer, narrowing your eyes at him. “You know exactly what I’m talking about,” you growl. “My apartment. My furniture. Everything’s gone because you took it. All of it.”
“Oh, that.” His smirk deepens, and he shrugs like it’s the most inconsequential thing in the world. “Yeah, that stuff’s gone.”
“Gone?” Your voice rises, your frustration boiling over. “What the hell does that mean? Gone where?”
Sanzu chuckles, the sound low and cutting, like a blade slipping between your ribs. He leans forward slightly, resting his elbow on his knee as he looks at you with the arrogance of someone who knows exactly how much power they hold.
“That,” he says smoothly as if he’s savoring every moment of your frustration, “is for me to know and for you to find out.”
The smug satisfaction in his tone makes your skin prickle, and for a moment, the entire world narrows to just the two of you. The bustling city, the distant car horns, the faint hum of streetlights—all of it fades away under the weight of his words.
“You think this is funny?” you hiss, your voice trembling with barely restrained rage.
He leans back again, stretching out like a king on his throne, his smirk never faltering. 
“Hilarious, actually,” he replies, his eyes gleaming with amusement. “The look on your face right now? Worth every second.”
You want to scream, to claw that smirk off his face, to make him understand just how far he’s pushed you. But deep down, you know that’s exactly what he wants. Sanzu thrives on chaos—on control. And right now, he has both in the palm of his hand.
So you force yourself to take a deep breath, though it does little to calm the storm raging inside you. Losing your temper won’t get you anywhere. The only way to deal with someone like Sanzu is to stay rational, no matter how impossible that feels.
With that thought, you grab the front of his shirt and yank him toward you, your fingers curling into the expensive fabric. You lean against the car door, bending slightly so you’re face-to-face with him.
For the first time, his smirk falters.
It’s subtle, but it’s there—a flicker of irritation in his eyes. He doesn’t like to be handled this way, that much is obvious. But you’re too angry to care.
“Fine,” you snap. “Since you’re incapable of being civilized, I’ll be civilized enough for both of us.”
Your glare sharpens, and you tighten your grip on his shirt, tugging him closer. “That stupid katana—I’ll pay you back. Name a price, and then stop with this bullshit.”
The silence that follows is heavy, crackling like static between you. He doesn’t smirk, doesn’t quip. For once, he seems caught off guard—or maybe he’s just letting the moment stretch to keep you guessing. His teal eyes pierce into yours, unreadable, and for the briefest second, you wonder if you’ve finally managed to throw him off his game.
But that fleeting moment vanishes as quickly as it came. His hand moves—a blur—and clamps around your wrist.
“Sanzu—”
You barely manage to gasp his name before he yanks you forward with a sharp, practiced tug. The force of it throws you off balance, and you stumble, landing unceremoniously on his lap.
The sharp sound of the car door slamming shut beside you snaps like a gunshot in your ears, reverberating through the tense air. You freeze, your breath catching as the suffocating closeness of the car settles over you like a vice.
Panic surges in your chest, but Sanzu doesn’t give you a chance to react. He shifts slightly, leaning forward to address the driver—someone you hadn’t even noticed until now, silent and impassive behind the wheel.
“Drive,” Sanzu orders, his tone low and commanding.
The car lurches into motion, and you instinctively reach for the door handle, your heart racing. “What the hell—”
Your fingers barely graze the metal before Sanzu’s hand catches yours in an iron grip.
You whip your head toward him, fully intending to glare, to demand answers, to fight. But whatever words you had prepared dissolve the moment you meet his gaze.
He’s close. Too close.
Your face is mere inches from his, so close you can make out every detail: the pale green of his eyes flecked with grey, the sharp arch of his blond eyebrows, the faint scars at the corners of his mouth. His cologne envelops you—spicy, woodsy, intoxicating in a way that makes your pulse stutter.
Your hand, trembling with adrenaline, presses against his chest, and you curse inwardly as you feel the steady, unnervingly calm beat of his heart beneath your palm. He’s not rattled, not even a little. Meanwhile, your own heart feels like it’s trying to break free from your ribcage.
His body is solid, unyielding beneath the expensive fabric of his shirt. Every subtle shift of his frame feels deliberate and controlled, as if, even in this chaos, he’s still the one pulling the strings.
Sanzu tilts his head slightly, his lips curving into the faintest trace of a smirk. Not the full, insufferable grin you’re used to, but a softer, sharper smirk, and infinitely more dangerous.
“You said you’d pay me back,” he murmurs, his voice so low and velvety that it sends a shiver down your spine despite your best efforts. 
“So why don’t you sit back like a good girl, and we’ll have that civilized conversation you wanted so badly.”
Your cheeks burn with a mix of anger and something else you refuse to name. 
With a sharp exhale, you tear yourself away from his intense gaze, shoving off his lap and planting yourself on the seat beside him. The car’s leather feels cold against your palms as you adjust your clothes, every movement sharp and jerky, as if regaining control over your body could somehow rein in the storm inside you.
“Great,” you bite out, refusing to meet his eyes. “How much?”
Sanzu doesn’t answer right away. Instead, he stretches leisurely, his arms draping over the backrest, like he’s savoring the moment. His smirk widens, sharp and deliberate, and you know—know—he’s about to say something outrageous.
“¥100 billion.”
The words hit you like a slap.
You turn to him so quickly that your neck protests. “What?”
His grin widens. “You heard me,” he says smoothly, as if the absurdity of his statement is nothing out of the ordinary.
For a moment, all you can do is stare, disbelief crashing over you in waves. Your mouth falls open, but no words come out. 
“Is that a joke?” you finally manage, shaking your head. “Because there's no fucking way—”
“Oh, yes. Fucking way,” Sanzu interrupts, his voice dripping with mockery, as if your protest is the funniest thing he’s heard all day. 
He leans back further, his teal eyes gleaming as he continues, like a professor lecturing a particularly slow student. “That katana wasn’t just some random blade, you know. It was art. History forged in steel. Do you even have the slightest idea what you threw away?”
He doesn’t wait for an answer—of course he doesn’t. Sanzu loves the sound of his own voice too much.
“It was forged by master smiths. Wielded by legendary warriors. Passed down through generations. And you—”
His gaze sharpens as he lazily points a finger at you, his smirk turning razor-sharp.
“You tossed it into a fucking dumpster.”
Your teeth grind together as his words sink in, and your fists curl against the leather seat.
“Oh, and that’s not all,” he continues, his tone suddenly turning wistful as he places a hand over his chest, like he’s recounting a personal tragedy. 
“The emotional distress I went through? Priceless. The cost of my time? Immense. The sentimental value?” He exhales theatrically, shaking his head. “Incalculable.”
You know he’s mocking you, but that doesn’t stop your stomach from twisting in frustration.
“That katana wasn’t just a weapon,” he finishes, his voice softening to a taunting murmur. “It was a part of me. A piece of my soul, if you will. So, yeah—¥100 billion. Generous, considering you ripped out a piece of me.”
“You’re insane!” you shout, your voice trembling as panic begins to creep into the edges of your anger.
You can feel the weight of the number crushing you, impossible to comprehend, let alone repay. It’s absurd, and you know he’s doing this on purpose.
Sanzu’s smirk deepens, his gaze steady and unrelenting. “Oh, sweetheart, I am insane.” 
He leans forward slightly, his voice dropping to a conspiratorial murmur. “But don’t worry, I’m not that heartless.”
You narrow your eyes at him, suspicion flickering alongside your disbelief.
“I’ve taken the liberty of assessing your belongings,” he continues, gesturing vaguely with one hand like he’s discussing the weather. “To offset the cost of your little stunt, of course. Let’s say those furniture pieces are worth, oh, I’ll be generous again—¥10 million.”
You gape at him, your stomach sinking as he raises a finger, feigning thought.
“So, that leaves you with a cool ¥99,990,000,000 to pay back.”
The number hangs in the air, a death sentence delivered with the kind of smug satisfaction that makes your stomach churn. 
You blink at him, your chest tightening as your mind races, trying and failing to find a way out of this nightmare. The number is still incomprehensible. Impossible.
“Better start saving, sweetheart,” Sanzu says, his grin stretching wider as he watches the horror bloom across your face
“Go to hell!” you snarl, the words tearing from your throat as your voice trembles with suppressed fury.
Sanzu doesn’t even flinch. Instead, his smile widens, a flash of teeth that feels more like a wolf baring its fangs.
He leans back casually, his sharp gaze flicking over you with infuriating nonchalance. It feels like he’s dissecting you, stripping you down to your most vulnerable parts just for fun. 
“Considering your lame little job, I guess you’ll have no choice but to work your ass off for me for the rest of your life.”
The words hit you like a punch to the gut. 
You swallow hard, fighting against the rising tide of frustration and helplessness that threatens to pull you under. You feel the familiar sting in your eyes, the burning ache of tears you refuse to let fall. Not again. 
Your fists tighten in your lap, nails digging into your palms as you bite down hard on your lip, grounding yourself in the sharp sting of pain. Anything to keep from breaking down in front of him.
But Sanzu notices—of course, he notices. He always does.
“Oh, don’t look so down now,” he says, his voice lilting with faux encouragement. “There are plenty of jobs that can make you quick money. I’m sure we can think of something.”
You turn to him sharply, hope flickering despite yourself. “Quick money?”
He glances at you, his smirk widening like a cat about to pounce on a cornered mouse. “Let’s see. We’ve got human trafficking, prostitution…”
Your glare is immediate, your hope snuffed out as quickly as it came. You clench your teeth, realizing with a sinking heart that he’s doing this on purpose—pouring salt into the wound, twisting the knife, reveling in your frustration.
“Fine,” you bite out, your voice dripping with sarcasm as you refuse to let him win. “I’ll work as a prostitute then—”
The smirk vanishes from his face instantly, replaced by a darker, sharper expression. His eyes narrow into slits, and his jaw tightens as a sudden wave of cold fury washes over his features.
“Don’t be fucking absurd,” he snaps. The words crack like a whip, laced with something you can’t quite name—possessiveness, maybe. “You wouldn’t last a day sucking off dicks.” 
The abrupt shift in his demeanor leaves you momentarily stunned. He was the one who suggested it, yet now he looks furious, his glare sharp enough to pierce steel.
“What the hell am I supposed to do then?” you demand, your voice rising with frustration and desperation. “You know I don’t have that kind of money! I’ll never be able to pay you back!”
The silence between you is heavy, suffocating. Sanzu’s gaze flickers toward you, and for the briefest moment, his expression softens—barely, but enough to make your heart stutter.
“Then stay indebted to me,” he says finally, his voice low and deliberate, each word weighted with meaning.
Your breath catches at the quiet finality of his statement, but he isn’t done.
“Work with me,” he continues, leaning closer, his gaze piercing through you with unnerving precision. “Work for me. For the rest of your life.”
The words settle over you like a shroud, suffocating and inescapable. You search his face desperately, clinging to the hope that this is another one of his twisted jokes. But there’s no laughter in his eyes now, no trace of the smug expression you’ve come to expect. Instead, he is calm—too calm. Serious in a way that leaves no room for doubt.
Realization sinks its claws into you, cold and unrelenting.
This was never about the blade. It was about control. About binding you to him, inch by inch, until there’s nothing left of you to call your own. You feel like a mouse cornered by a cat, every escape route meticulously cut off.
Disbelief turns to anger, burning hot in your chest as the truth becomes clear.
“You must be out of your mind,” you say, your voice trembling with equal parts of fury and defiance, “if you think for a second that you can enslave me with a ridiculous debt.”
His eyes narrow slightly, the faintest flicker of irritation crossing his features, but he remains silent, watching you with that unsettling calm.
“You’re pathetic,” you continue, your voice rising, each word carefully chosen to cut. “Is this what you’ve been reduced to? Tricking people into staying by your side because you’re too useless to stand on your own?”
That gets a reaction. His jaw tightens, and his smirk falters, his composure cracking ever so slightly.
But you don’t stop.
“You think you’re all that, don’t you?” you continue, your tone laced with venom. “Always playing these stupid little games, acting like you’re untouchable. But here’s the truth, Sanzu—you’re nothing but a coward. You’re a joke. You hear me? A sad, pathetic joke.”
The words hit their mark.
The air in the car grows heavy, oppressive, as silence stretches taut between you. Sanzu doesn’t move, doesn’t speak, but you can feel the shift in him. His hands tremble faintly where they rest on his lap, curling into fists so tight his knuckles turn white. His breathing is measured, deliberate, like a man trying to hold himself together by sheer willpower.
But his eyes—his teal eyes burn with a fury so intense it makes your stomach churn.
“Stop the fucking car,” he says finally, his voice low and quiet, quieter than you’ve ever heard it.
The tone is lethal, more chilling than any yell or threat could ever be. It carries with it a promise of violence, sharp and certain, and you can feel the driver tense at the words.
The car slows, and your heart races, dread pooling in your stomach as you realize you’ve pushed him too far. But you don’t regret it. Not yet.
As the vehicle comes to a halt, the door on your side unlocks with a soft click. You glance out the window in confusion, your surroundings barren and unfamiliar. The road stretches endlessly into the dark, illuminated only by the pale glow of distant streetlights. Shadows dance across the pavement, eerie and unfamiliar.
“Get out.”
You whip your head toward him, confusion and disbelief flashing across your face. 
“What?” you stammer, your voice trembling as the situation sinks in. “Here? In the middle of nowhere?”
He doesn’t look at you. He doesn’t need to. His teal eyes are fixed somewhere in the distance, his body unnaturally still except for the steady rise and fall of his chest. The controlled rhythm of his breathing is the only indication that he’s holding himself back. Barely.
“I said get lost,” he growls, the words low and guttural, like the rumble of a storm building on the horizon. “Before you make me do something I’ll regret.”
The threat isn’t loud, but it’s deafening all the same, hanging heavy in the air between you. A thin, frayed thread of control keeps his rage tethered, but you can see it unraveling, piece by piece.
For the first time, fear creeps into your resolve. You glance out the window again, the cold night air creeping in through the slight crack. The barren road offers no solace, no comfort—just endless darkness and isolation.
But you refuse to let him see your fear. Not like this.
“Fine,” you say, your voice laced with defiance even as it trembles slightly. “I’ll get lost.”
You reach for the purple suit jacket he’d carelessly tossed onto the seat between you earlier, the luxurious fabric soft beneath your fingertips. “If you’re dumping me out here in the middle of nowhere, I’m taking this.” 
You grip the jacket tightly, your knuckles turning white. The sharp, familiar scent of his cologne clings to it, invasive and suffocating as you clutch it to your chest. 
“It’s the least you can do, right? Since you’re so generous.”
His jaw twitches at your words, a faint movement that betrays the storm brewing beneath his stoic exterior.
“You think that’s going to bother me?” he says, his voice flat, but the edge is unmistakable. His eyes finally meet yours, pinning you in place like a predator sizing up prey. “Take it. Keep it. Hell, burn it for all I care. It won’t make a difference.”
His words hit like a slap, dismissive and cutting, but it’s the look in his eyes that burns. You’ve seen him cruel before, smug and taunting, but this is different. This is detachment, a wall slamming down between the two of you as if he’s willing himself not to feel anything at all.
The silence stretches, taut and suffocating, a battlefield with no clear victor. You push the door open, the icy night air rushing in to bite at your skin. You step out, the gravel crunching beneath your heels as you clutch the jacket tighter. 
The door slams shut behind you, the sound echoing in the empty stretch of road. You turn, half-expecting him to say something—anything.
But Sanzu doesn’t even look at you.
His gaze remains fixed ahead, unyielding, and within seconds, the car lurches forward, speeding off into the darkness.
You stand there, frozen in place, the silence deafening as the taillights vanish into the night.
For a moment, all you feel is rage—raw and unfiltered, coursing through you like wildfire. Your grip tightens on the stupid jacket, the fabric crumpling in your fists. Then, with a scream of frustration, you hurl it to the ground.
The jacket lands in the dirt, and without thinking, you stomp on it with your heels, over and over, as if punishing it might somehow lessen the weight in your chest. Tears sting your eyes, but you blink them back, your breaths coming in ragged gasps as your fury runs its course.
Then, slowly, reality sets in.
Your chest heaves, the cold air biting against your skin as you glance down at the crumpled jacket beneath your feet. Its once-pristine fabric is now smeared with dirt, but it still carries the faint, lingering scent of Sanzu.
You crouch down, your fingers trembling as you pick it up.
You throw it over your shoulders, the warmth of the material doing little to comfort you. The anger in your chest simmers, but now, something else creeps in—something heavier.
Regret.
You’re furious at Sanzu, but a part of you is furious at yourself too.
You shouldn’t have said those things. You shouldn’t have let your words cut so deep, shouldn’t have hit him where you knew it would hurt the most.
It wasn’t your place to say those things.
But it was your anger—wild and uncontrollable, driving you to lash out in the only way you knew how. You wanted him to feel it too, to understand the sting of your own hurt. And for a fleeting moment, you’d seen it in his eyes: the crack in his armor, the way your words had struck him.
But instead of satisfaction, all you feel now is emptiness.
You wrap the jacket tighter around yourself, its weight heavy on your shoulders as you start walking down the deserted road, the cold night air biting at your skin.
Alone.
With nothing but his stupid jacket and the lingering ache of words you can’t take back.
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Haruchiyo Sanzu feels like a distant, sour memory now—something that lingers at the edges of your mind, bitter and unwelcome, like a taste you can’t quite wash away.
Weeks have passed since he left you stranded in the middle of nowhere. You still remember the icy sting of that night, the wind gnawing at your skin as you trudged along desolate roads, his suit jacket wrapped tightly around you. Its scent—sharp, woody, and unmistakably his—had clung to you like a curse, as if mocking your every step. You’d made it to the bus stop just in time for the last ride home, your legs aching, your spirit raw and splintered.
But that was then. 
Your days now have grown quieter. The chaos of Bonten, once an ever-present storm on the horizon, has retreated. No Sanzu. No Mikey. Just silence.
It’s a fragile kind of peace, tenuous and uneasy, like walking on a tightrope suspended over the void. The ache of it all—Sanzu’s threats, Mikey’s betrayal, the hollowing-out of your life—still lingers, but it’s beginning to heal. Slowly, piece by piece. You’ve started finding solace in small things: the warmth of sunlight spilling through your window, the steady rhythm of your breath at night.
Still, there’s no denying the shadow that lingers. The specter of Bonten hangs over your life like a storm cloud, distant but menacing. You’ve learned not to let yourself get too comfortable, knowing full well how easily your peace can be ripped away.
Your apartment reflects that unease. You’ve stopped trying to rebuild the life Sanzu tore apart. The furniture he took has gone unreplaced, leaving the space sparse and functional, like a temporary refuge rather than a home. A futon rests on the floor instead of a bedframe. Your fridge is nearly empty, your meals taken outside to avoid the suffocating stillness of your own walls.
You live like someone waiting to run. As if, at any moment, you might pack up the few belongings you have left and disappear without a trace.
Some days, you consider leaving Japan entirely.
But today, it’s not Sanzu or Mikey who disrupts your fragile peace. It’s her.
Mikey’s wife.
You see her before she sees you.
You’re in the convenience store near your apartment, standing in the narrow aisle of instant ramen. Your hand hovers over a cup of miso-flavored noodles when your gaze shifts—and lands on her.
At first, you think your eyes are deceiving you.
Her long, dark hair frames her face delicately, though there’s her expression is tired, worn at the edges. Her features are familiar, painfully so, but it’s the swell of her belly that catches your breath.
She’s pregnant.
A cold wave crashes over you, bringing with it all the pain and bitterness you’ve been trying so hard to forget. The heartbreak, the betrayal, the way Mikey had slipped through your fingers and into her world—it all rushes back with a vengeance, leaving you reeling.
What is she doing here? Why is she here?
You don’t stick around to find out. Gripping your bag tightly, you turn on your heel and walk away, hoping to slip out unnoticed. You tell yourself she doesn’t know you, that she won’t recognize you. That you can pretend this never happened.
But then she calls your name.
Your heart stops.
Her voice is soft, lilting, and utterly devoid of malice. But it hits you like a punch all the same. Slowly, reluctantly, you turn to see her walking toward you, her smile bright and warm. One hand rests lightly on her swollen belly, while the other lifts in a friendly wave.
“I’ve been wanting to meet you!” she says, her voice sweet and full of enthusiasm.
You blink, caught completely off guard. “W-what?”
She stops a few steps away, her eyes shining with a sincerity that twists the knife even deeper. “You’re Mikey’s friend, aren’t you?”
Friend?
The word rings hollow in your ears, absurd and suffocating. You blink at her, unable to mask your disbelief.
“Um, no,” you manage to say, though your voice sounds far weaker than you intended. “I’m not his friend. Not really…”
“Oh, I know.” Her voice is soft, breezy, as though she’s speaking about something mundane. “You both were in love back then, right? But don’t worry, I don’t take it to heart.”
Were in love?
The phrase hits you like ice water, cold and paralyzing. You feel the air shift around you, your stomach twisting uncomfortably. She looks so bright, so radiant—her presence glowing with an effortless kind of beauty that feels impossible to touch.
And then there’s you.
Rusted, dark, barely held together by fraying threads. 
She’s standing there in a designer dress you recognize instantly, the kind you’d once dreamed of wearing when your life still had a semblance of stability. Everything about her exudes grace, her polished demeanor so far removed from the raw, vulnerable edges you’ve been living with.
And you? You’re standing in sweatpants and a tank top, fresh from the gym, your hair tied up messily, your skin still faintly damp. You feel the faint sting of sweat clinging to you, the sharp contrast between her pristine elegance and your disheveled state making your insecurities roar to life.
If you’d known you’d run into her, you would’ve worn something else—anything else. Something that could at least mask the deep, gnawing inadequacy rising like bile in your chest.
“So,” she continues, her voice light, unbothered, as if she hasn’t just turned your world upside down. “You live near here?”
“Yeah,” you reply hesitantly, shifting on your feet. “Kinda.”
“Ah, I see, I see.” She smiles warmly, like she’s genuinely happy to see you. “I live up the hills with Mikey. We just moved there. You should come if you have time.”
The bile in your throat sharpens. She says it so casually, so invitingly, like she’s unaware to the wound her words inflict. Doesn’t she know? Doesn’t she understand what’s happened between you and Mikey—that you’re not exactly on speaking terms?
Or is she playing dumb?
Your thoughts spiral downward, dark and tangled. Maybe she’s doing this on purpose, flaunting her position, rubbing it in your face. Maybe this is all part of her plan to remind you exactly where you stand—or don’t stand—in Mikey’s life.
You hate that your mind goes there, hate the negativity clawing at your insides. But how could it not? After everything you’ve been through—every betrayal, every heartbreak—how could you expect anything else?
“There’s a lot I’ve been wanting to tell you, you know.” 
Her voice pulls you from the storm in your head, soft and almost hesitant, yet it strikes you like a thunderclap.
“I’ve been meaning to thank you,” she continues, her gaze steady and warm, as if her words hold some unspoken sincerity you can’t begin to understand.
“Thank me?” you echo, the wariness creeping into your voice.
“For letting him go,” she says simply, with no malice or spite, just a matter-of-fact honesty.
The bile rises higher, threatening to choke you, as she adds quickly, “I’m not trying to be rude.”
Her gaze softens, and for the first time, her smile falters. She glances down, one hand resting on her swollen belly, the gesture so natural yet so deliberate it feels like another blow to your already fragile composure.
“When I first found out I was pregnant, I was scared,” she admits quietly, her voice trembling just enough to catch your attention. “What if Mikey didn’t care about this child? What if… he couldn’t let go of you?”
Her words are gentle, but they cut deeper than any insult could.
“I didn’t have a responsible father growing up,” she continues, her gaze distant now, fixed somewhere beyond you. 
“My family sold me to the Sano family when I was a teenager to pay off my father’s debt. Shin—Mikey’s brother—took me in. He promised I’d marry Mikey someday, but we weren’t exactly friends back then.”
“So when I found out I was pregnant, I thought… what if Mikey couldn’t love this child? What if he didn’t care? But then you left him, and I... I couldn't believe it. But it made things easier, you know?” She pauses, looking back at you with a faint, tentative smile. 
“Mikey is going to be a great father to this child. So… thank you.”
You feel like the ground has crumbled beneath you.
Your mind is a whirlpool of emotions, dragging you down deeper and deeper as her words replay in your head. Thank you for letting him go. The phrase loops endlessly, echoing louder each time until it drowns out every other thought.
What are you supposed to feel? Regret? Jealousy? Bitterness? Relief? Gratitude?
Instead, all you feel is guilt.
It sits heavy in your chest, acidic and biting, as you force yourself to meet her gaze again. She’s glowing, radiant, full of life and hope. Her hand rests protectively over her belly, her smile soft and warm, as though she hasn’t just gutted you with her words.
You wonder if she can see it—the way your heart is breaking all over again, piece by piece.
Because as much as you hate to admit it, she’s right.
You feel like a villain in your own story, selfish and blind. If you hadn’t let go, if you’d kept clinging to Mikey, what would you have done to her? To this child? How much pain would you have caused, all for the sake of holding onto something you knew deep down was already gone?
The realization sits heavy in your chest, twisting your insides with guilt and self-loathing.
You force a polite smile, the corners of your mouth trembling as you nod numbly. She’s still talking, but her words fade into the background, drowned out by the roaring in your ears.
When the encounter finally ends, when she walks away with her glowing smile and radiant presence, you remain frozen in place, staring blankly at the rows of snacks and drinks in front of you.
The world around you feels dimmer now, the air heavier, as if everything has shifted just slightly out of focus.
You don’t even notice the tears slipping down your cheeks until you taste the salt on your lips.
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Haruchiyo Sanzu always made it clear where you stood.
“You don’t belong here,” he’d sneer, his voice dripping with disdain, “not in Mikey’s world, and definitely not in Bonten.”
He was never wrong. You didn’t belong in their world. You were the outsider, the one thread that never quite wove into the fabric of their lives. You knew it, and he made sure you never forgot it. His words stung more than you’d admit—not because they were untrue, but because of the way he said them. Sharp. Dismissive. Like you weren’t worth the air you breathed in his presence.
But you stayed. Out of stubbornness. Out of loyalty to Mikey. Out of defiance. Maybe you wanted to prove Sanzu wrong, or maybe you just wanted to prove something to yourself.
Still, deep down, you hated that world.
The violence. The chaos. The constant, suffocating tension. You didn’t understand it, and you didn’t want to.
The thing about violence is how loud it is. How it drowns everything else out. It used to make you tremble, used to keep you up at night. Over time, you thought you’d grown numb to it. Spending years with Mikey and his friends, and later meeting the men of Bonten, you believed you’d built up a tolerance.
You were wrong.
Now, standing in the dim light of your apartment, you feel that old dread creeping up your spine, cold and suffocating. The sound of fists pounding on the door reverberates through the space, loud and relentless.
“Open up!” a voice slurs, rough and angry. It’s followed by another—harsher, louder—yelling something you can’t quite make out.
You press your back against the wall, clutching your phone in trembling hands. The door shudders under the force of the blows, the wood groaning as if it might splinter any second. Through the peephole, you catch flashes of them—three, maybe four men. Their faces are rough, unshaven, their clothes stained and worn. Not like Bonten’s polished soldiers. These men are desperate, frayed at the edges, their anger wild and unrestrained.
Your breath comes in short gasps, panic clouding your thoughts. Your first instinct is to call the police, to beg for help. Your thumb hovers over the screen, but you hesitate.
Don’t call the cops.
The rule rings in your head like a mantra, drilled into you after years of being with Mikey. Police attention meant danger, not safety. Danger for him. Danger for Bonten. Calling them now feels like a betrayal of everything you promised to leave behind.
But this isn’t Bonten. This isn’t their problem. This is you, alone in an apartment that feels smaller with every second, trapped with no escape.
Your mind flickers to Mikey. You can almost see him now—stoic, composed, walking through that door with the kind of calm that could silence a storm. Whenever things got bad, you called him, and he always came. No questions. No hesitation.
But that Mikey doesn’t exist for you anymore.
The memory of his wife slices through your thoughts like a blade. Her glowing face, her soft laugh, the way she spoke of him like he was hers—and hers alone. He isn’t yours to call. Not anymore.
The pounding grows louder, the door rattling violently on its hinges. A voice yells, “We know you’re in there! Open the damn door!”
Your legs buckle, and you slide down the wall, your knees drawn up to your chest. You grip your phone tightly, every instinct screaming at you to do something. But you don’t know what.
The fear is suffocating. It wraps around your throat like a noose, tighter with every second. You’ve spent so long trying to convince yourself you’re stronger now, that you could stand on your own two feet, that you’ve learned how to survive without anyone’s help.
But here you are, knees to your chest, tears streaming down your face, and the truth is like a knife twisting in your gut.
You can’t.
The pounding on the door grows louder, the wood splintering under the relentless force of fists. Angry voices bleed into one another, demanding, mocking, hungry. You flinch with every thud, the sound rattling through your bones. A muffled sob escapes you, and you clamp a hand over your mouth, biting back the noise.
This isn’t the first time you’ve felt this kind of fear, but it’s the first time you’ve been truly alone. The knowledge slices through you like ice, leaving you raw and exposed. There’s no Mikey to call, no Bonten soldiers to sweep in and erase the threat with brutal efficiency. There’s only you.
A shudder wracks your body, and your trembling hand brushes against the edge of the clothing rack beside you. The soft rustle of fabric draws your attention, and your eyes fall to the floor.
The purple suit jacket.
It lies crumpled and forgotten, a remnant of a night you’ve tried desperately to push from your memory. It doesn’t belong here, much like the man who owned it.
Your gaze lingers, and then you see it—a small white card slipping from the pocket. It flutters to the floor, landing face up, the bold logo of Bonten catching the dim light.
You don’t think. You don’t breathe. You just move, reaching for it with trembling fingers.
The card feels heavier than it should as you turn it over, your eyes scanning the crisp lettering.
Haruchiyo Sanzu.
Beneath his name is a series of numbers, printed in sharp black ink. A phone number.
Your heart stutters.
The voices outside grow louder, their words blending into a cacophony of threats and anger. The door creaks ominously under the next blow, and your grip tightens on the card.
This is insane. Calling him is insane. You haven’t spoken to him since that night. Since the night he left you stranded, drenched in rage and despair, clutching this very jacket like it was some kind of armor.
But the desperation burns hotter than the fear now, a frantic, clawing need for survival.
Your fingers fumble as you pick up your phone, the screen shaking in your grasp. The numbers blur as tears spill over your lashes, and it takes three tries before you can type them in correctly.
The first ring feels endless, each second dragging you deeper into doubt.
The second ring is faster, sharper, and the sound cuts through the fog of your panic.
For a moment, you think he won’t answer. You think this was a mistake, that you’re as alone as you feared—
But then his voice crackles through the line.
“Who is this?”
It’s sharper than you remember, edged with a steel-cold annoyance that sends a shiver down your spine. Your lips tremble, and you purse them tightly to hold back the sob threatening to escape. You don’t understand why hearing his voice makes you feel like crying even harder, but it does.
“Speak up,” Sanzu snaps, his tone edged with irritation.
“S-Sanzu,” you finally manage, barely able to get the words out. “It’s me.”
The silence that follows feels like an eternity, heavy and tense, like he’s holding back a storm on the other end of the line. You brace yourself for his anger, his mockery, but it doesn’t come. Instead, the pause stretches, his silence daring you to say more.
Before either of you can speak again, a loud bang on your door startles you, and you jump violently. Your sobs break free, audible now as you stare helplessly at the door. It rattles in its frame as another fist slams against it, followed by more shouting from the men outside.
Sanzu’s voice turns sharp on the other end of the line. “The hell’s going on there?”
You try to speak, to explain, but the words choke in your throat, tangled with fear. All you can do is breathe, ragged and uneven, as the chaos outside intensifies.
“Oi!” he barks, louder this time, his tone laced with urgency. “Answer me! Where are—”
Another deafening bang.
This one is so forceful it feels like the door might splinter. The phone slips from your grasp, tumbling to the floor with a hollow clatter. You scramble to pick it up, but the noise outside grows louder, drowning out his voice on the other end.
The pounding at the door is relentless now, each blow reverberating through the room like the ticking of a doomsday clock. Panic grips you in its iron claws, your movements clumsy and frantic as your survival instincts take over.
You abandon the phone.
Your body moves on its own, propelling you away from the front door and down the narrow hallway. Your breath comes in short, desperate gasps, your vision blurring with tears as you throw yourself into your bedroom.
The door slams behind you, the sound echoing like a gunshot in the suffocating silence of the room. Your hands shake as you fumble to turn the lock, your fingers slipping over the cold metal. When it finally clicks into place, you collapse against the door, your back pressed to the wood as if your weight alone could keep the intruders out.
It feels like the walls are closing in, the air too thin, too heavy. You clutch at your chest, trying to steady your breathing, but the panic has its claws in you now, dragging you deeper into its suffocating grip. You don’t know how long you stay rooted like that. Minutes passed. Maybe even hours, you’re not so sure anymore. 
Then—suddenly—silence.
The world feels like it’s holding its breath, the oppressive silence louder than the chaos that preceded it. The pounding has stopped, the shouting gone, leaving behind a void so deafening it presses against your ears.
It’s almost worse than the noise.
Time stretches and warps, each second dragging by as your mind claws for clarity. Summoning strength you don’t think you have, you push yourself up on trembling legs. Every step feels heavy, your movements jerky and uncoordinated as if your body doesn’t quite belong to you anymore.
You unlock the door with a faint click.
The hallway beyond is eerily still, the dim light from your living room casting long, distorted shadows. You step out, and your breath catches in your throat. 
The door to your apartment is wide open.
Your eyes widen as you take in the scene. Blood mars the pristine white of the door, streaked across the floor in grotesque smears.
Then you see him.
Sanzu stands there, framed by the dim glow of the streetlight outside, his silhouette sharp and unnerving. You notice the blood on his clothes, streaked across his shirt and jacket in violent, haphazard smears. It stains his hands, dripping from his fingertips onto the floor.
Your gaze shifts downward.
A body lies crumpled at his feet, its face obscured by shadow. The man’s arms are bent at unnatural angles, his chest motionless. The pool of blood spreading beneath him glints faintly in the light, viscous and dark.
Sanzu’s face is calm, almost eerily so, as he stares down at the lifeless figure. His expression is unreadable, his teal eyes cold and devoid of emotion. With a slow, deliberate movement, he wipes the blood from his cheek using the back of his hand, smearing it across his pale skin like war paint.
The gun in his other hand hangs loosely by his side, its barrel still gleaming faintly in the dim light. You can’t tell if it’s from blood or something else. Somehow, you just don’t care.
You should feel fear—any normal person would. The violent scene before you, the lifeless body, the blood painting your once-pristine apartment—it should terrify you.
But all you feel is relief.
It crashes over you in a tidal wave, drowning out every other thought or emotion. Relief that it’s him standing there. That he’s here. That the nightmare outside your door is over.
He came. For you.
The realization is enough to blur the edges of the world around you, your vision swimming with unshed tears. Your breathing hitches as you take a hesitant, shaky step forward. Then another.
The space between you feels unbearable, suffocating, as if every step is a battle against an invisible force pulling you back.
Before you even realize what you’re doing, you’re running.
“Hey—”
Sanzu’s voice breaks the silence, startled, but it barely registers.
You throw yourself at him with all the force you can muster, not caring about the blood, the chaos, or the consequences. His arms come up instinctively to catch you, but the sudden impact knocks him off balance. The two of you stumble, falling to the floor in a tangled heap.
The world around you fades to nothing.
Your arms wrap tightly around his neck, clinging to him as if letting go would mean being swallowed whole by the darkness again. You bury your face into the curve of his shoulder, breathing him in despite the metallic tang of blood that clings to him. Beneath it, faint but familiar, is his scent—spicy, woodsy, unmistakably him.
It grounds you. Anchors you.
The fear, the helplessness, the bone-deep panic that had consumed you moments ago—all of it begins to dissipate, replaced by a sense of warmth and security. You sob against his neck, your tears soaking into his skin, clinging to him as though he’s the only thing holding you together. 
The way his body stiffens beneath you is unmistakable, his muscles rigid and tense, as though your touch burns. His arms hang awkwardly at his sides, frozen, like he’s never held someone like this before—or never wanted to.
But you don’t care.
Your world is too fragile, too broken, for that to matter now. You’re too overwhelmed by the fact that he came, that he’s here, standing in your wrecked apartment, blood on his hands and violence in his wake, because of you.
Despite the tension that always seemed to push you further apart. Despite the fights, the sharp words you’ve thrown at each other like knives. Despite the threats and the violence that define him, the very things that have always made you hate him.
He came.
When you thought no one else would.
You’d told yourself you could survive on your own, that you didn’t need anyone. You’d convinced yourself that being alone was easier, that it hurt less. But the truth is, the loneliness had been unbearable, suffocating. You’d felt like you were drowning in it, your chest caving in under the weight of your isolation.
And now, his presence makes it easier to breathe. The sting of everything—of the fear, the heartbreak, the loss—eases, just slightly. Just enough for you to feel something other than despair.
Sanzu doesn’t hug you back, doesn’t move to comfort you in any way. He doesn’t need to.
Because for the first time in what feels like forever, you feel comforted. Safe.
And for now, that alone is enough.
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Haruchiyo Sanzu had promised you those men were still alive.
But as you replay the scene in your mind—their broken bodies crumpled on the floor after they dared to put up a fight with him—you can’t help but question how true that promise really was. The way they had groaned, barely conscious, with limbs bent at unnatural angles… it seemed more like Sanzu had spared them out of boredom rather than mercy.
“Those punks are from a rival gang, always stirring shit with Bonten,” Sanzu had said, his voice tinged with indifference, as if this was nothing more than routine. “They’re probably after you ‘cause of your history with Mikey.”
The words still sting, cutting deeper than you’d care to admit. Your connection to Mikey has always been both shield and curse, dragging you into a world you never wanted to belong to. But Sanzu didn’t dwell on it.
You’d braced yourself for the mockery, the sharp smirk, the inevitable I told you so. He’d always taken a perverse pleasure in throwing your choices back in your face, a constant reminder of your naivety.
But this time, the mockery never came.
Instead, he brought you here—to his condominium. No biting remarks, no sneering comments, just quiet efficiency as he led you through the sleek, sterile space with its minimalist decor and faint scent of antiseptic, like he’d tried to scrub something clean but couldn’t quite erase the stains of who he was.
Now, lying on his impossibly soft bed, you stare up at the ceiling. The faint sound of the shower hums in the background, steady and soothing, a sharp contrast to the chaos you’ve just escaped.
You shouldn’t feel safe here. You know this, deep down. Sanzu is the embodiment of destruction—chaos wrapped in sharp lines and sharper smiles. He’s everything you’ve spent years trying to avoid, a warning etched into flesh and bone. But here you are, wrapped in the cocoon of his world, and for once, you aren’t afraid.
You’ve been here before.
The memory sneaks up on you, vivid and intrusive. The night you came here to treat his wounds flashes through your mind. Mikey had been furious with Sanzu for hurting you while he was high, and the fallout had been brutal. You’d bandaged him, your hands trembling with a mix of sadness and pity as he winced under your touch. That same night, you’d drifted into a haze of his pills, craving escape, and woke up tangled in these sheets. 
Back then, you hadn’t noticed the subtle scent that clung to the fabric, hadn’t let yourself linger on the details of him.
But now, as you curl into the comforter, pulling it closer to your face, it’s unmistakable. It’s a scent you’ve grown used to over the years—on his clothes, lingering in the air whenever he was near. You’ve never stopped to think about it before, but now, it feels oddly significant.
You bury your face in the soft material, inhaling deeply as a strange feeling stirs in you. You don’t know when it started, this unusual awareness of Sanzu, or why it feels so heavy now.
You squeeze your eyes shut, frustrated with yourself. Why are you even thinking about this? About him?
But no matter how hard you try to push it down, you can’t ignore the quiet realization blooming inside you: Haruchiyo Sanzu is starting to feel… different.
Your gaze wanders aimlessly around the room, searching for a distraction. It lands on a bottle of white pills sitting on the nightstand. They’re different from the ones you’ve seen him take before, or the ones he’d offered you. 
You wonder what they’re for. Did he take one recently? Are they for sleeping? For calming his mind? Or are they something darker, something that’s keeping him tethered to the edge he so often seems to teeter on?
The curiosity gnaws at you until you can’t resist. You reach out, your fingers hovering just above the bottle—
“Don’t go poking around in other people’s stuff.”
His sudden voice startles you, and you insctinctively pull your hand away from the bottle. Your head snaps around, and there he is, standing in the doorway of the bathroom. 
Steam billows faintly behind him, curling around his silhouette like a ghostly aura. He’s clad in a loosely tied bathrobe, the fabric hanging open enough to reveal his pale chest and the faint scars that mar the otherwise smooth skin. His damp pink hair clings to his forehead, water droplets trailing down his temple, tracing the sharp line of his jaw before disappearing into the hollow of his collarbone.
The sight of him, raw and unguarded like this, hits you harder than it should. He looks so effortlessly attractive, his usual sharp-edged chaos softened by the intimacy of the moment. You feel the heat rushing to your face, your stomach twisting in a way that has nothing to do with fear.
You force yourself to look away, to focus on anything else—the steam in the air, the quiet hum of the ceiling fan. But it’s no use. His presence fills the room, leaving no space for anything else.
“What’re they for?” you ask, your voice quieter than you’d intended.
Sanzu’s lips quirk up into a knowing smirk. “You really wanna know?”
The way he says it, low and teasing, sends a shiver up your spine. He strides toward you, his steps slow, calculated, like a predator closing in on its prey. Your instincts scream at you to run, to flee, but you remain frozen, your breath caught somewhere between anticipation and dread.
You nod, your throat dry, unable to look away as he closes the distance between you. You watch as he reaches for the bottle on the nightstand, his long fingers curl around it with practiced ease. He shakes it lightly, the sound of pills rattling against plastic breaking the tense silence. 
Sanzu slides one pill into his palm, holding it delicately between his fingers. His gaze then flickers to yours, and there’s a challenge, a dare, a twisted sense of amusement in his eyes.
“Why not try it for yourself?” he says as the smirk on his lips widens, daring you to take the bait.
Your gaze fixes on the pill, a small and harmless-looking thing, yet charged with so much temptation.
You don’t stop to think.
As if in a daze, your hand reaches out toward it.
You’re not entirely sure why you’re doing this. Maybe it’s the strange comfort you’ve started to feel in Sanzu’s presence, the way he makes you forget how to think rationally. Or maybe it’s the recklessness he brings out in you, the way he makes you want to let go of the rigid control you’ve always tried to hold onto.
But just as your fingers are about to touch the pill, Sanzu pulls his hand back, holding it out of reach. 
“Look at you, so eager,” he drawls. “Someone offers you a little something, and you're all over it.”
You glance up at him, startled by his words.
“Can't resist a little escape, can you?” he continues, his teal eyes gleaming with malicious glee. “Want to float away, forget about all your problems. But when shit goes down, you'll be the first to blame me, won’t you?”
The accusation hangs in the air like smoke, thick and suffocating.
His tone, laced with scorn, dredges up memories you’ve tried to bury—of the riverbank, when you snapped at him, accusing him of ruining you. You’d been furious at him then, seething at the way he had introduced you to the blissful oblivion of drugs, at the way he seemed to revel in watching you fall apart.
But now, that same temptation claws at you, an unbearable ache. The pill in his fingers feels like a lifeline, a reprieve from the pain and fear that have consumed you for weeks. You want it. You hate that you want it.
And Sanzu knows.
When you don’t answer, he steps closer. His hand rises, his fingers cool and deliberate as they tilt your chin upward, forcing your eyes to meet his.
“Say that you want it."
His eyes bore into yours, a teasing light dancing in their depths as though he’s savoring every second of your internal struggle. “Admit it. I won’t even blame you—after all, I’m the one who showed you how good it feels, aren’t I?”
The words are a taunt, a challenge, and yet there’s a flicker of something else beneath his teasing tone. An edge of bitterness? Of longing?
You can’t tell, and it only makes the weight of his gaze all the more unbearable.
After weeks of living like a hollow shell, aimless and haunted, the thought of surrendering to the haze again feels like relief. Sweet, blissful relief. And the man standing before you—dangerous, unpredictable, impossible Sanzu—is the only one offering it to you.
He saved you.
You can’t shake that truth. The same hand that gripped a gun mere hours ago, ensuring your safety with a ferocity that left no room for doubt, is the same hand holding your chin now. The same man who once inflicted pain is offering you solace, even if it’s in his own twisted, chaotic way.
Your mind screams that this is wrong, that Sanzu is wrong, but your body betrays you. You don’t want to fight anymore. You’re so tired of fighting.
The thought of letting go, of releasing the crushing weight you’ve been carrying, feels like salvation.
“Sanzu,” you whisper finally, his name tumbling from your lips in a voice that’s barely audible, deliberately weak. 
The sound of it pulls a reaction from him—a flicker in his expression. His smirk falters, if only for a fraction of a second. It’s fleeting, almost imperceptible, but you catch it.
“I want it. Please.”
His smirk sharpens at your admission. Slowly, Sanzu raises the pill, holding it between his fingers like an offering—but instead of giving it to you, his teal eyes glint with a wicked promise that this moment won’t be as simple as you think. Without breaking eye contact, he raises the pill to his lips, sliding it between them in one fluid motion.
Your breath catches.
The small, simple gesture feels electrifying, almost obscene. You can’t look away—not from the pill nestled between his lips, not from the curve of his mouth as it closes around it. His lips, soft and pink against his otherwise sharp, dangerous edges, hold your gaze captive.
Before you know what you’re doing, you lean forward, closing the small distance between you until your lips meet his.
Sanzu stiffens, his body going rigid as your lips brush his.
Your tongue grazes his lips, catching the pill and pulling it away. It should end there. That’s all you meant to do. But your lips linger, longer than they should.
His lips are soft, impossibly soft, a jarring contrast to everything else about him—the sharp edges of his jaw, the cold steel in his eyes, the danger that clings to him like a second skin.
A part of you doesn’t want to pull away. That part wants to stay here, to push further, to find out if there’s anything else about him that could be soft, gentle, human.
But the logical part of your mind, faint as it is, reminds you of who this is. It reminds you to move, to inch back.
Or at least, you try to.
Before you can move far, Sanzu’s hands shoot up, gripping your shoulders with a force that borders on bruising. His touch isn’t gentle—it’s desperate, as though he’s clinging to you as much as he’s holding you in place.
Your eyes widen, surprise flashing through you. You open your mouth to speak, to ask him what he’s doing, but the words die in your throat when his lips crash into yours.
The kiss isn’t soft. His lips move against yours with a hunger that leaves you frozen for a moment, caught off guard by the sheer intensity of it. His hand slides to your jaw, tilting your head to deepen the kiss, leaving no room for hesitation.
The pill lies forgotten on your tongue, its bitterness seeping into your mouth. The taste should ruin the moment, but it doesn’t.
Instead, it sharpens everything.
His lips, his touch, the way his tongue slips into your mouth, claiming every inch of you—it’s overwhelming in the best possible way.
You remember feeling his lips on yours before, when he forced the first pill down your throat. Back then, the kiss had meant nothing to you, just another cruel moment in a long string of chaos that defined your relationship with him.
But now?
Now it feels different.
Your hands, hesitant at first, clutch at the fabric of his bathrobe, shyly curling around it as his hands move through your hair. His fingers rake gently against your scalp, sending shivers down your spine.
How can someone like Sanzu, so violent and chaotic, feel this soft, this gentle?
And the kiss—it doesn’t just feel good.
It feels perfect. He feels perfect.
His hand slides to your back, firm and insistent, pulling your body closer until there’s no space left between you. You’re flush against him now, every inch of you pressed to his, but it still doesn’t seem to be enough for him.
He keeps pulling you closer, as though he needs more—as though he needs all of you, to consume you completely, to make you a part of him.
And for the first time in what feels like forever, you feel held.
Until suddenly, he pulls away.
The cold rushes in, sharp and unforgiving, knocking the breath from your lungs. You feel the loss acutely, the absence of his lips on yours, his warmth, his touch. It leaves you empty, aching, a hollow space where he’d just been.
Then you notice it—the pill is gone from your tongue.
Confusion flickers across your face as you look up at him, and your gaze catches on the pill now nestled between his teeth. Before you can process what’s happening, he tilts his head and spits the pill out. It hits the floor with a faint tap, rolling once before disappearing under the edge of the bed.
You blink, stunned, your thoughts scrambling to make sense of what you’ve just seen. Did he really just do that? Did he really just spit out the drug—his drug?
Sanzu’s drugs have always been his obsession, his crutch. You know how much they mean to him, how possessive he’s always been about them. And yet here he is, spitting it out like it’s nothing, like it doesn’t matter at all.
“What—” you start, your voice faltering as you struggle to piece together your thoughts. “Why did you—”
Your words are cut off as he suddenly shoves you backward. You lose your balance, falling unceremoniously onto the mattress. The world shifts around you, and when you blink, he’s already straddling your hips.
Your breath hitches as his weight presses you into the bed. The dim light plays tricks on his face, casting shadows that make him look darker, more menacing, and yet impossibly alluring. His teal eyes pierce through the gloom, burning with an intensity that sends your pulse racing, and you’re certain he can hear the way your heart pounds against your chest.
“Why’d you do that?” you demand despite the tremor in your voice. “I said I want it.”
Sanzu’s eyes sweep over you, slow and deliberate, as if he’s taking in the rise and fall of your chest, the way your body fits beneath his. 
“We’ll do that later,” he murmurs. “All the drugs you want. But not now… I need you sober now.”
The rasp in his voice, the quiet command behind his words, leaves you momentarily speechless.
You blink up at him, confusion creasing your brow. Sober? Now? From the man who thrives on chaos and indulgence, the demand feels out of place. But before the words to question him can form, he’s on you again, his lips crashing into yours with a force that makes your thoughts scatter.
His tongue sweeps into your mouth, claiming you with the same hunger that leaves you trembling all over again. 
This time, your hands move instinctively, wrapping around his neck and pulling him closer. Your lips grow swollen under the intensity of the kiss, but the need between you only builds.
His hands roam down your sides, exploring every curve of your body. When they finally brush against the bare skin of your stomach, a shiver runs through you. The warmth of his touch is stark against the cool air, making your body arch involuntarily.
You know what he’s doing.
He’s testing you. Teasing you. Giving you every chance to stop this, to pull away, to say no. But you don’t.
You can’t.
Instead, your back arches further into his touch, your body betraying you, seeking him out. His smirk curves against your lips, and you can feel the triumph in it, the silent acknowledgment that you’ve given him exactly what he wanted.
And then, like a blade cutting through the haze, the realization strikes.
This is why he wants you sober.
He wants you to feel everything—to be aware of every touch, every sensation. If you were high, you’d miss it—you’d drift into oblivion, the sensations dulled, the memory blurred. But not like this.
Sanzu wants you here. Present.
This isn’t just about him taking from you; it’s about you choosing to give.
The realization swells in your chest, unexpected and overwhelming.
Your fingers tighten around him instinctively, pulling him closer, as though the connection between you isn’t close enough. Your hands slide up into his damp hair, threading through the soft pink strands. The texture surprises you—softer than you expected, almost delicate against your fingertips.
His breath catches in his throat at the contact, and you feel it. The subtle tremor in his body, the slight hitch in his movements.
It sends a jolt of heat rushing through you.
You push further, emboldened by his reaction. Your other hand slips beneath the loose folds of his robe, brushing against the heated skin of his back. His muscles tense under your touch, but he doesn’t pull away.
Instead, he groans softly, the sound low and rough, vibrating against your lips.
It’s intoxicating.
The sound he makes, the way his breath stutters under your touch—it sends a sharp spike of desire straight through you, pooling low in your belly.
He likes it.
And God help you, it’s turning you on.
You feel the haze of desire wrapping around you, thick and heavy, pulling you deeper into him. Every touch, every kiss, every sound between you feels amplified, like the rest of the world has melted away, leaving just the two of you.
You want more.
Your hand trails lower along his back, exploring the warmth of his skin, the tension in his body, the way he seems to hold himself back just slightly, like he’s afraid to lose control.
But then, a sharp, piercing sound cuts through the moment. The shrill ring of a phone. 
Reality crashes back into you like a tidal wave.
You freeze, your lips still against his, your hands still tangled in his hair and pressed against his back. For a moment, neither of you move, caught in the lingering heat of the kiss, as though the sound doesn’t belong to this moment, to this room.
You pull back just slightly, gasping for air, your chest heaving as your eyes meet his. The sight of him leaves you momentarily speechless. His teal eyes are dark, heavy-lidded, his pupils blown wide with desire. His cheeks are flushed, his lips red and swollen, glistening from your kiss.
He looks… undone.
You wonder in that instant if you’ve ever seen him like this before—if anyone has ever seen him like this before.
You bite your lip, hesitating, your heart hammering in your chest as a question rises to the surface of your mind. You don't know why you need to ask. Maybe it's the intensity of the moment, the vulnerability you see in his eyes. Or maybe it's your own vulnerability, the way you're letting yourself fall deeper into him than you ever thought you could.
"Sanzu," you whisper. "Do you have feelings for me?"
The question hangs in the air, fragile and trembling, threatening to break under the weight of what it means.
But Sanzu doesn’t move. 
He doesn’t even flinch.
“Feelings, huh…” he murmurs at last, his voice quiet, as though he’s tasting the word for the first time. 
His gaze dips lower, lingering on your lips. You watch as his tongue darts out, wetting his own lips, the movement slow, calculated, and maddeningly hypnotic.
“Even if I tell you my answer, would it change anything?”
Your eyes widen in confusion, your mind scrambling to make sense of what he means. You part your lips to respond, to ask, to demand clarity—but before the words can leave you, the sharp trill of the phone cuts through the air again.
The sound is jarring, slicing clean through the tension between you, leaving it to collapse into nothing.
Sanzu’s expression hardens, the vulnerability you thought you saw fading in an instant. He pulls away from you with a harsh sigh, his body shifting as if to distance himself. The absence of his warmth hits you immediately, a sharp ache settling in your chest. The space between you grows colder, as though he’s taken all the heat with him, leaving you with nothing.
Without meeting your gaze, he reaches for the phone on the nightstand, his fingers brushing against it almost angrily. You watch him, eyes scanning his face, desperate for any sign—anything—that might explain the shift, the sudden barrier now standing between you.
When his gaze flickers to the screen, you catch it—the briefest reaction. His eyes widen, just for a fraction of a second, but it’s enough.
Whatever he sees there, it rattles him.
He clears his throat, his voice sharper now as he answers the call.
"Yes?" His tone is clipped, professional, a far cry from the low, intimate murmur he'd just been using.
You sit up slowly, watching him closely.
The shift in his demeanor is jarring. Whatever softness you’d glimpsed in him just moments ago—the tenderness in his touch, the vulnerability in his kiss—vanishes as if it had never been there. In its place is the Sanzu you’re more familiar with, the one who wears his toughness like armor, his emotions locked tightly behind a smirk or a sharp edge.
Your mind drifts back to his words. Would it change anything?
What had he meant by that?
It was a simple question, wasn’t it? One he could have answered easily, yes or no. But the weight of his response—or lack thereof—lingers heavily in the air, making you doubt its simplicity.
Unless…
Unless it’s not as simple as you want it to be.
Sanzu’s teal eyes snap to yours suddenly, cutting through your spiraling thoughts, and you jump, startled by the intensity of them. Without a word, he holds the phone out to you, his movements deliberate, his expression unreadable.
“It’s Mikey. He wants a word with you.”
Your heart sinks.
Of course.
How could you forget who Sanzu is in your life?
He’s not just Sanzu, the man who saved you, the man whose touch made your heart race. He’s Haruchiyo Sanzu—Mikey’s loyal second-in-command, his soldier, his shadow.
And you?
You’re the ex-girlfriend, the woman who once held Mikey’s heart but shattered her own in the process.
You reach for the phone hesitantly, your movements slow and cautious, as if taking it will solidify something you don’t want to confront. Your fingers brush against Sanzu's as you grasp it—a fleeting touch that feels like an entire conversation.
For a moment, neither of you moves. You can feel the heat of his skin against yours, a whisper of the intimacy you just shared. But when you meet his gaze again, it’s like looking into a storm that’s already moved on, leaving only destruction in its wake.
You press the phone to your ear, swallowing the lump rising in your throat.
“…Hello?” you manage, your voice barely more than a whisper.
Your name comes through the line in that voice you once knew so well, and the sound of it knocks the air from your lungs.
Mikey.
It’s been so long since you last heard him say your name, and yet it feels like no time has passed at all. The sound of it sends a shiver down your spine, a reminder of all the things you’ve tried—and failed—to bury.
You don’t answer him right away. Your eyes remain locked on Sanzu as he climbs out of the bed.
His movements are slow, unhurried, but there’s tension in every step he takes. The way his shoulders set, the subtle clench of his jaw—it’s as if he’s forcing himself to move, to leave.
You feel the loss of his presence like a wound reopening. The further away he gets, the tighter your chest feels, until it’s almost unbearable.
You want to call out to him. 
To tell him to stop. To stay.
But how can you?
Mikey’s voice is still in your ear, grounding you to a past you thought you’d left behind, pulling you back into a world that no longer feels like yours.
Sanzu reaches the door, his hand hovering over the handle for a fraction of a second. It’s subtle, almost imperceptible, but you see it—a hesitation. For the briefest second, you think he might turn around.
He doesn’t.
The door clicks softly as it closes behind him, and the sound feels deafening in the silence that follows.
You’re alone now.
Alone with Mikey on the other end of the line, his voice saying your name again, softer this time, as though coaxing you back into a conversation you’re not ready to have.
And yet, your heart continues to ache—not for the man on the phone, but for the one who just left.
< part three ends >
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author's notes. heyy lovely sanzu kinnies <3 i hope you're all doing well! first off, i want to apologize if this part feels a little rushed—i really wanted to get something out before my break ends, but i hope you still enjoy it :> thank you so so much guys for sticking around and showing love to BNT, honestly ur support means the world to me <33 as always, i'd love to hear what you think, so please leave a comment or note if you can! thanks again for reading and for being so awesome (〃´▽`〃) !!
taglist. @bontensproperty @sleeplessreader12 @thisismarisaaa @fallensuguru @karuki-tori @unfortunately-a-dazai-kinnie @celestica-1988 @taebaozi @tribbisweetdear @aizawap @aquamarixx @sadlyradley @gh0stgirl333 @iluv-ace @reiners-milkbiddies @bontenbabyy @risheliette @loveantonnlee @sukunas-bitxh @honeygonebads-blog @r3yk @soilaluna @l1ttl3m1ss666 @novv @slvdsjjk @miffysoo @qyoongi @drakensdarling @ask-the-insect-hashira @awkwardaardvarkforever @thebiggestlovergirlever @shinichirolover @kyyuuuuu @ajumma @missmanjisano @meowww1041 @kiasnotforever @slayyy739 @rainzelenia @strawberrychrome (lmk if you want to be tagged too!)
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© CANDYEAGER. do not copy, repost, modify, or translate my works in any other platforms.
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sukunas-bitxh · 8 months ago
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『 Faking it 』
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☼ synopsis: you fake an orgasm and they notice so they punish you
☼ characters: Satoru Gojo, Suguru Geto, Toji Fushiguro
☼ wc: 1.0k
☼ cw: fem!reader, afab!reader, creampie, thigh riding, hair pulling, mentions of fingering and masturbation/toys, degradation (reader being called "bitch", "pet"), pet names, mean!Toji
☼ notes: once again I am daring you to comment and / or reblog to let me know your thoughts 🫶
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ˑ༄ؘ ۪۪۫۫ ▹ Geto:
✧ You were just exhausted from the day and somehow your head was everywhere but in the moment, despite wanting nothing more than for your boyfriend to rail you like he was doing
✧ Geto had you on all fours before taking a fist full of hair to pull you up against his chest and you could feel his hips stutter
✧ Not wanting him to hold back you just faked it - giving it your best act
✧ He scoffed and pushed you into the mattress, your hips still high as your head got buried in the surface beneath you, but he pulled out right before he came, letting his seed shoot over the globes of your ass and lower back
✧ You pout at that “you promised to cum inside tonight,” you whined and heard him chuckle while shaking his head
✧ “Only good girls get filled with my cum - and you certainly aren't one,” he hissed before releasing your hair from his tight grip and you knew that he knew
✧ Before you were able to explain yourself to him he patted his thigh, his back resting against the headboard “If you still want to cum you gotta work for it,”
✧ You were pouting but yes, yes you wanted to release so badly, unsure why you even faked it but this was your punishment now
✧ You straddled one of his thighs, his hands having a death grip on your hips to rut you against his leg at his desired speed - slow and with barely any pressure, making sure to let you suffer
✧ “Go ahead, love, thank me for helping you,” He hummed, a playful smirk on his lips
✧ Without thinking much, you started thanking him for being so generous, for helping you to find pleasure. It made you feel so ashamed of faking it but that's exactly what he wanted
✧ “Keep up this slow pace, be a good girl and i might even slip a finger into your cunt,” He breathed against your ear, knowing how much you love to ride his fingers
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ˑ༄ؘ ۪۪۫۫ ▹ Gojo:
✧ Gojo knew something felt off when your moans weren't the same, sounding rather fake so it came as no surprise when you faked it
✧ You don't even know why you did it, things just didn't feel as intense or like you're gonna release any time soon and hoped he wouldn't notice - bot oh he did notice
✧ He just continued as if he didn't know and finished a short while later but rolled off right away, a playful smile on his lips and that's when you knew that you're fucked
✧ “Have fun finishing yourself off then,” He hummed unbothered, that teasing smirk only getting bigger when he saw your mortified face
✧ “Didn't think i would notice, hm bunny?” He asked amused before turning to face you, his head propped up on one arm
✧ You felt like a deer in headlights under his mocking gaze along with his teasing and somehow you really hoped he would help you release
✧ But Gojo wouldn't be Gojo if he wouldn't be a menace, slender fingers dancing over your skin, always close but never touching the areas where you needed him so desperately
✧ “Is my cock not good enough anymore? Do you need your own little fingers now? Maybe even your adorable toy? yeah, i know of your little secrets,” He teases relentlessly, making you flustered but so turned on
✧ “Go ahead and touch yourself for me… let me see,” he giggled, wanting to guide your movements with his voice now
✧ He wouldn't touch you in order to help you, that was your little punishment
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ˑ༄ؘ ۪۪۫۫ ▹ Toji:
✧ RIP to your little kitty
✧ Why you thought faking it is a good idea? Maybe because you know exactly how mad he gets after
✧ It hurts his ego more than anything that he can't satisfy you to the point where you see it necessary to fake it but you love how he reacts - so you do it anyways
✧ Tojis hips slow down in pace when your walls don't grip him like a vice as they usually do and with one swift movement he manhandled you into a mating press
✧ “Think I'm too dumb to notice, angel? Let me teach you a lesson,” he growls while he pushes your legs tightly against your chest, his cock now deeper than before which made you whimper
✧ “That's what I thought. Crying for me like a bitch in heat,” he continues to degrade you but this is a punishment, you're not getting it the way you want it
✧ His pace is now oh so slow, far too slow for your liking but you feel the tip of his length drag against your walls and brushing against all the right spots which made you lose your mind
✧ You were now stuck, folded in half between your lover and the mattress while he tortured you with slow thrusts, a mischievous grin painted on his face that screamed victory as his degrading words fell from his lips
✧ You were a mess by the time he was done with you, far too overstimulated and every drag of his cock along your walls borderline painful
✧ "Who knew my baby can only cum when degraded into nothing but a hole for me to fuck," he chuckled before pulling out so you won't get the satisfaction of being filled by him
✧ Toji came over your face just to degrade you some more “go clean yourself up. You're such a mess,” he ordered but waited for your return
✧ When you were back in his arms he hummed softly “did you learn your lesson now, angel?”
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Networks: @pixelcafe-network @interstellar-inn @houseofsolisoccasum
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sukunas-bitxh · 8 months ago
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I totally agree.
if u voted for trump, I mean this in the most disrespectful way possible, I do not want anything to do with you. Not only did you vote against basic human rights and equality, you decided rascism, homophobia, islamophobia, transphobia & misogynistic behavior wasn't a deal breaker. i do not want your follow or support ! thank you.
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sukunas-bitxh · 8 months ago
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『 Tasty! 』
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☼ synopsis: Kyojurou comes back from a mission and finds you touching yourself, wanting to help you find release
☼ character: Kyojuro Rengoku
☼ wc: 1.5k
☼ cw: fem!reader, afab!reader, masturbation, fingering, oral (reader receiving), slight overstimulation, squirting, pet names
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Kyojurou made sure to kiss your forehead before he left for his mission, hating that he had to leave with the first ray of sunshine, but he tried his best not to disturb your peaceful slumber. Your hands held onto his haori in your sleep, not wanting him to leave just yet and it almost broke his heart, carefully removing your hands from the cloth and kissing each of your knuckles.
“I promise that I'll be back home as soon as I can, my firefly,” he whispered and gave one last kiss onto your temple before he had to leave.
Waking up without your lover felt like getting your heart ripped out each and every time and you knew he could never wait until you're awake when he left, not wanting to see you cry or risk you begging for him to stay home - he hates making you upset after all, but so far he always made it back home in one piece.
The time went by slowly while your lover was gone, trying to go on with your usual routine got harder day by day, your mind starting to cloud with worry alongside a need to be with him again and while doing the laundry you stumbled across one of his haori, laughing softly to yourself when his scent filled your senses, hugging the clothing item close to your chest as if you'd be hugging him. You missed him far too much to toss this haori into the laundry, deciding to wear it yourself in order to feel a little less lonely in this big house while all you did was wait for his return and try not to go crazy.
You don't know when it happened but you found yourself in your shared bed, wearing nothing but his Haori while your hand was working magic on your neglected cunt. Nimble fingers rubbing circles onto your overly sensitive clit before dipping into your wetness just like Kyojurou would, but your little fingers could never make you feel just as good, leaving you unsatisfied despite the orgasm that shook your entire body. Desperate for more, you curled your fingers against your sweet spot over and over, using your second hand to play with your little bundle of nerves while moaning his name, imagining it would be him taking care of you after being gone for weeks.
Your poor cunt felt so neglected, trying not to touch yourself while he was away, knowing he wants to make love to you the second he's home, but this time you just couldn't help yourself, missing his touch far too much.
The moans of his name echoed from the walls alongside the squelching sound of your fingers working you open, unable to hear the way Kyojurou called your name, wondering where you were since you usually jump into his arms the second he opened the door. He was on guard now, fearing something might have happened, not wanting to think of the worst yet as he made his way through the house, checking every room for possible signs of danger when he stopped dead in his tracks in front of your shared bedroom.
The heat crept up his neck, his name called out in such lewd ways had him gasping for air and a big smile crept to his face when he opened the door, seeing you on your bed with your legs spread wide, fingers knuckle deep in your dripping wet folds - and is that his Haori?!
“Was I gone too long this time?” He asked, a smirk creeping up on his face despite his eyebrows being knit together in worry. Neglecting you was the last thing he ever wanted, feeling guilty for being gone for weeks at a time but the moment he spoke up, you flinched, trying to cover yourself to regain some decency which made him chuckle.
“Hey now, no need to cover yourself for your husband,” he said amused and stalked over to where you were laying in long strides just to rip the blanket away from you - the hunger for you clear in his eyes.
Kyojurou was aching to touch you as well, seeing you so vulnerable and moaning his name had him hard and leaking with pre cum already as he climbed onto the bed, lips locking in a desperate kiss before taking hold of your hand to lick your fingers clean that we're still coated with your juices. He moaned obscene when your slick melted on his tongue, his eyes locked with yours as he did so.
“You're so tasty… can't get enough,” he whispered and licked his lips, strong hands already parting your thighs to uncover your glistening folds to his hungry eyes.
“Please touch me” you whimpered, desperate to feel his fingers work their magic and you didn't even need to ask twice before you felt two of his thick fingers part your folds and collect some of your slick.
Kyojurou didn't want to tease you, not when you were so desperate for his touch that you needed to please yourself in his absence. A sweet moan of relief escaped your beautiful lips when he finally sunk his fingers into your heat, his eyes closed in delight at the squelching sounds erupting from your cunt.
“How many times, firefly? You're so worked up” he asked amused, intense gaze fixed to your face that started to contort in pleasure.
“Three” you whimpered, letting him know how many times you've come undone on your own fingers but no matter how many times your fingers coaxed an orgasm out of you, they were nothing in comparison to the ones your husband gave you and he knew.
Thick fingers repeatedly massaged your sweet spot he was all too familiar with as the calloused pad of his thumb made sure to take care of your little clit just the way you liked it, making you squirm and moan in bliss. Before you knew it you started to clench around his fingers, crying out his name
“Hmm… slow down, too much,” you whined, feeling like you would burst at the seams if he keeps going but no matter how much he slowed down, the next time he pushed against your g-spot you screamed in pleasure as clear liquid sprayed all over his eager hand and strong arm, catching both of you off guard but Kyojurou didn't let you close your legs even if that's what you wanted, a look of pure adoration on his face.
“Did you just squirt?” He asked amazed, having heard from Tengen that this can happen if the orgasm is intense but all you wanted to do was hide from your lover's intense gaze, whining with his thick fingers still slotted deep inside of you.
“Can you do it again?” He asked curious, moving his fingers exactly like before, which had you moaning loudly right away from how sensitive you were now, shaking your head
“I-I can't,” you whimpered, unsure how to feel about the way you just created a mess on your shared bed but Kyojurou gave you a sweet smile and kissed one of your soft thighs
“You can give me another one… you're my good little firefly, aren't you?” He asked in such a sweet way that made it impossible for you to say no and you wanted more, needing more which knew all too well, your walls clenching hard and practically pulling his fingers in so they won't stop caressing your sensitive spots.
“That's my wife… my beautiful sunflower,” he hummed and replaced the rough pad of his thumb with his skilled tongue, lapping up the juices on your dripping cunt and almost driving you insane with overstimulation but he went oh so slow, making sure to feel the way your sweet spot started to get more and more sensitive to his prodding fingers before speeding up, curling them right against it over and over again until he felt you clench his fingers like a vice, your hands grabbing onto his bicolored hair.
You didn't even give him a chance to pull away, selfishly grinding your core against his face until you exploded again, the liquid splashing right against his tongue and face, making him moan loudly as he ate you out with more vigor this time, not getting enough from your taste.
“You're so tasty, firefly. Can you give me one more? Just one?” He almost begged, needing to feel you come undone like this once more, addicted to your sweet moans and your taste. Your poor head was spinning from the intensity this orgasm held but you mindlessly nodded, wanting more than you can handle, more than you thought you'd get when you started playing with your neglected cunt - your husband now made sure you are well taken care of.
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Networks: @pixelcafe-network @interstellar-inn @houseofsolisoccasum
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sukunas-bitxh · 8 months ago
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Chapter 8
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Captain  (Levi Ackerman X reader)
WC: 1673
TW: umm some violence... aka titan slashing.
Two comrades; humanity’s Strongest and humanity’s Bravest. A bond between Two warriors who have nothing to lose.
Masterlist
Chapter 7
Since your talk with Levi the other night you have begun to pull yourself more together. Of course not without having your guard up. You had gotten ready and walked passed many of your comrades with your head held up without much of a care. You had seen your friends in the distance in the dinning hall but you grabbed your plate and tea first and then walk in their direction. 
“ Morning Y/n, you seem to be better.” Amane comments with a slight laugh. 
“ might be the tea Levi brought her last night” micheal’s under his breath.
“ I do feel better, and maybe it was the tea. What is it for you to care? Still can’t mind your business Micheal.” 
A few laughs can be heard across the table, with a couple chit chats among one another. You sat in silence just gathering your own thoughts. IN the distance You hear some chatter, not realizing that it’s being directed towards you.
“ Y/N, Y/N to earth.”
You look up to see that Isabella is waving her whole hand in front of you. With a slow stare, you glace up towards Isabella to see what it is that’s so important for her to be acting this way. “ Yes Isabella, what is it?” You glare at her before taking another sip of your lukewarm tea. 
“Are you going on today’s expedition?”
“I wasn’t aware there was one.” you spat back.
“ We were told not to mention anything to you but you look well enough to go.”
“ Well then i suppose you answered your question then.” you put the cup down before another voice jumps into the conversation. 
“ What question?” Levi asks from behind you as he moves to sit besides you. 
“ Isabella asked if I’m going on today’s expedition.”
“ Well you’re not y/n.”
“ You don’t have a say Levi.”
“ As your-”
“ Finish that sentence Levi and the you’ll be the only one not going. I don’t give a shit if you’re a captain, You’re of equal level as i am.”
“Stop being so damn hardheaded.”
“ give me 50 titans Levi, and they’ll all be dead before you can spell out the words ‘hard headed’ , do not test me Levi” you bite back and then turn to Isabella to ask the mission. 
“ So what time do we leave Isabella?”
“ at a 3 this afternoon..”
“ great.” You grab your things and leave the group before anyone can speak a word. You feel the gaze of many but it’s become a norm for you. 
You hear some loud footsteps behind you , and the rhythms in itself already tells you who it will be.. Levi. 
You continue to walk forward without a single hesitation in your step and direction. You walk into the gear room and begin to prepare your gear. 
“ Y/N, you’re not going, put it away… That’s an order.” Levi orders you from the door way. 
You stop and give yourself to process what he just said. 
“ excuse me?”
“ I said that was an order.”
“ I Wasn't asking you to repeat yourself, I was giving you a chance to reconsider what you just told me.” You scoff and return back to adjusting all the handles and making sure your gear is sharpened and ready.
All that could be heard is the clicking, clanking and sharpening of your gear. The rest of it was complete silence, with the hint of deeps breaths from both you and Levi. 
“ Why are you so adamant on going Y/N?”
“ Because I’m not sick, I’m not injured, I’m fine. This war must come to an end, I can’t be sitting around doing nothing Levi.” 
“ I don’t think you have comprehended what happened.”
“ I didn’t realize you now know when or how I comprehend things.”
“ Y/N I don’t think you’re ready.”
“Then I guess I’ll make myself ready.” You comment back at Levi before walking away from him. A small huff can be heard in the distance from where you left him, but you could care less. 
Before you know it, it’s time for the expedition, and all of you are lining up besides one another ready to take on what comes beyond the horizon before you. 
“I see you’re joining us today Y/N.” Commander Erwin’s voice rings through the air. With a quick turn of your head to the right, you see Levi and the commander standing side by side. 
“ Yes sir, I am.”
“ Levi tells me you’re not ready.”
“ with all due respect Commander, but if you’re going to try to convince me to stay behind just stop while you’re ahead. I’m going and that’s final.”
“ No not at all, welcome back.” Commander Erwin welcomes you back with a pat to your shoulder and walks away.
Hange and Levi discuss with the rest of us the plan for the mission and the next thing we know, we’re on our way. The plan was to make it too Shiganshina and just check the surroundings before going into Mitras and collecting some supplies. The journey just consisted of a constant silence with a few chatters on the side. You could see Levi on his horse not giving much mind to anything around him, and all that overtook his face is the stoic look that he always held. But knowing him, he was already thinking of a million things. The goal was to make it to Shiganshina before sundown, so around what looked like to be mid-noon, since the sun was at a 55 degree angle, the pace and speed of the trip increased. But little did you all know, there was a mob of titans surrounding all of you. 
“EVERYONE ASSUME POSITION, WE NEED TO TAKE  THEM AWAY FROM THE DIRECTION OF THE WALL!” Commander Erwin screams, and in seconds we are all changing directions. 
The goal was to divert them from the wall, but Your goal was to eliminate them. Why just divert then, when they can be taken care of all at once. You just went in for every strike, Not missing a nape or brining them down to their knees. Levi eventually saw what your goal was, as he saw that you were not leading the titans away, but you were getting rid of the problem. With a grunt, knowing he couldn't let you do it on your own, he took it upon himself to assist you in any way he could. At one point your comrades saw what was happening and did their best to also take down all the titans that they could together.
 Before we knew it we were already at the entrance. Once we made it into the city we were greeted by crowds, some crowds would scream hateful words asking "why we were coming in if we were not doing anything. "While others would cheer in the distance, you look over to see where the cheers were coming from.
That was when you see what looks like a young boy and a girl with a red scarf, they don’t look much older than 10 years old . The boys eyes flash with so much joy, and a glimpse of pure euphoria, but it falters once he saw the whole picture. Comrades injured , some missing limbs, and all deal with something internally. Many of our fellow comrades’ parents ask us where their daughter or son is.. asking if they are still at base, if we can return a message for them. But those sons and daughters were far from us now, no longer with us.
We move past the crowd and into our base where we will rest. Many cries and screams can be heard as some wounds are being cleaned with alcohol. That’s when you feel like something dry on your face. You lift your fingertips by your brow to feel dry blood, but a cut that can be felt. You hiss at the touch but get up to go get the supplies you’d need to clean yourself up. 
“Go shower Y/N, I’ll help you clean the wound when you’re done.” You hear Levi slump on the floor you were just sitting on. You notice all his gear is off but he hasn’t cleaned himself either. 
“ Maybe you should go shower too.” You suggest to the man before you. But you’re left with silence in return, but with that you turn back around and walk off to go clean yourself. 
Eventually the night was over and a new morning rose, but nothing about it was a good morning.
tag list : @thfloating @ajmiila02 @inurmom00 @awesomeness1679 @the-loneliest-girl
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sukunas-bitxh · 8 months ago
Text
Stay / Haitani Rindou
Power Trip / Cry Me a River
cw canon-typical violence, suggestive, long fic, ran plays a huge role, abandonment, grief, death
Things haven't been the same since South died.
He doesn't tell you much, so you don't really know things, but you're not an idiot.
You know of the late nights he's been spending out with his brother lately. When you ask, they simply tell you they've got a party going on at the usual place with the usual group of people, down the street.
When you ask.
Before leaving for the night he'd double check the locks and make Ran tell the lady next door to call him if she sees anything suspicious happening around the block or outside the unit.
"Stay home, be safe, alright?" Ran would tell you after giving you and his brother some space 一 for him to give you a kiss on the cheek as per his own habit, and for you to cling onto him a few minutes before they go as per your own 一 as always. And he'd ruffle your hair if they're down, or fix your braids a little if he'd tied it earlier for you, and then they'd leave. Together.
The extra precautions the brothers take on their home and you recently has been getting a little bit overwhelming. It's not that you don't understand why they do this 一 things aren't exactly safe for you as the girlfriend of a Haitani and is seen as a younger sister to the elder, who are both now heavily involved with dangerous people dubbed as a safety hazard to the general public.
Rindou has spent years outside of the gang curating ways with Ran to keep you safe and hidden away from the lingering, hungry eyes of their rivals and enemies who are constantly looking for ways to tear him and his brother down from their reputations 一 he is not going to risk putting you in danger, being used as a target as a means to get to the brothers, or being ambushed simply because you are yourself, a woman.
But as more time passes, with more and more late nights spent wandering alone in the Haitani household waiting for them to come home to you 一 or if they'd even come home at all 一 you've been starting to think there is something else going on.
You don't like that he's been making you feel this way.
Abandoned, left alone.
If he is cheating on you, even if it hurts 一 even if it might rip you apart into a million pieces 一 you think you want to know. Seeing for yourself who the other woman is, or who the other man is 一 you think it might give you some closure.
But he isn't cheating on you. You know he is not. He still comes home to you with that same, stupid smile on his face when he catches you on the PC fooling with some games or messing around with his unfinished mixes. He still brings home your favourite Chinese takeout from the family-owned restaurant down the street.
He is still your Rindou when he comes home. He hugs you to sleep and he hugs you when you wake up. He kisses you in front of Ran despite the embarrassment you know he hates facing because Ran is a huge tease 一 he is relentless with the jokes 一 but he still does it anyway simply because he doesn't think loving you is something to hide in front of him, his brother, and a person you have both always looked up to in life 一 a boy who have always been protecting the two of you, pushing you both forward in life with arms behind your backs and a smile on his face.
You think he has been abandoning you lately 一 yeah, that's what it is. He makes you feel like he is going to leave sometime soon, again, and you don't fancy it at all.
You don't ever want him to leave again.
...
The year 2000 was the very first time.
Eight years ago, just downstairs of your own apartment a few blocks away from theirs, you had to watch with a broken heart filled with so much guilt and shame pouring out of the cracks, as the brothers get arrested for something that wasn't even their fault.
Eight years ago you had bumped into a man. A very tall man donning a very intimidating uniform, with equally intimidating men standing behind him as they stared you down and one of them had flipped away the ice cream cone in your hands down to the concrete floor. You remember staring at the vanilla slowly dripping down and staining his grey uniform with so much fear settling in your bones, and they'd spent the evening picking at your hair, your skirt, your backpack.
You and Rindou had gotten into a fight that afternoon. He'd refused to walk you home despite his brother's disagreement, and watched you stomp away in near tears because you didn't like that he kept boasting about his Math paper which scored a little higher than yours. The boy had been waiting for you downstairs at your apartment, eager to say sorry with a bowl of soba in his hands that he'd bought and carried all the way from the stall just right around the corner, and when he noticed he has been waiting for almost 2 hours and you still weren't home despite school having ended hours ago, he panicked.
And then everything after happened in a flash. One minute ago the man was saying something along the lines of, "While we're at it, shall we have some more fun as well?" And at the next, your childhood best friend was right on top of him, bashing his skull in, again and again and again. "Say it again, you bastard!" He yelled. Ran was trying to hold him back, but Rindou was far stronger than Ran at that time despite being a year younger and shorter than him.
You remember it being the day the Haitani Brothers had been the new group to take over Roppongi, your home, and chose to cover the entire story up as a way to keep you hidden 一 as a way to protect you, so that you won't have anything to do with the death, and you won't have to deal with the cops (they have experience watching their parents, who were once corrupted millionaires).
They were arrested the next day. During their court ruling, Ran had received a longer sentence than Rindou for being the one to beat the victim to death, with Rindou named as an accomplice for holding the victim down as the incident occurred. No witnesses were quoted, and all CCTV footages of the scene were destroyed.
And then they left for 2 years, spending their time in a juvenile centre in a city far away from Roppongi. You'd travel hours a week just to see them, and you'd cry and tell them how sorry you are and how you should've been the one to talk to the cops 一 that way, it might've at least been considered as self-defence. It had been your fault anyway, if you were actually using your eyes for once and watched where you were going, you never would've bumped into him. None of this would've ever happened then.
You had spent two years alone, sometimes staying the night at their home with their family maid and their grandmother accompanying you while you sleep in his bed and cry. You have spent two years blaming yourself for what had happened. You have spent two years of your early teenage life resenting them for leaving you, for doing all of this without even considering your feelings the entire process.
The year 2005 was the second time, when Yokohama Bay had become your new spot to avoid.
The news came to you late, as you were supposed to stay home and wait for their return to Tokyo 一 as per Ran's demand. "Stay home, be safe." The same memo as he'd always say, but no longer a request this time.
Three hours after they had left a friend of theirs came knocking on your door. He was one of the very few people Rindou allowed to know who you were, simply because he still needed his own extra pair of eyes whenever he and Ran are out doing business with Izana.
And then it happened again 一 police at the scene, a pair of unconscious bodies lying on the floor covered with a huge, white cloth, and your childhood best friends tied in handcuffs with blood and bruises all over their face.
You remember having the rest of the Tenjiku members who were also arrested at the scene (the ones who chose to stay back, for Izana) watch a girl around their age slowly approach the yellow tape, crying, as she struggled against the police. "Nii-chan? What is going on?"
Ran had never felt so guilty before.
And you remember staring at your boyfriend who you have just started being intimate with a few months ago with so much pain and trauma in your eyes. Last night he'd promised in your ear he'll come home to you safe and sound.
He'll get this one done and then he'll come home. He said it himself 一 there's a Coldplay concert happening this weekend, he'd be a dead man if he were to miss it.
...
He doesn't come home for six months. You ripped and threw your tickets into the bin. You trashed Ran's room out of anger and quickly fixed things back when you realised what you've done.
Their original sentence was to be eight, but with good behaviour and great contributions to the rehabilitation centre, it was then reduced to six.
Your relationship had been in a standstill then. You don't visit the entire time they were held in the centre. He wrote to you on the second month and sent you origami flowers (which were approved by the guards) and a long ruler with a black Sharpie mark on 6 that only you would understand, with Ran adding his own note at the bottom of the letter, telling you to look for Aoyagi if you are ever in danger, or simply needed some form of help.
"Stay home, be safe." He added.
What a hypocrite.
Rindou abandoned you for the second time. Nii-chan broke his promise again.
Six months later, after their release, they come home to their apartment decorated in things they never would've bought. Crocheted pillow cases on their couch, a new IKEA makeup table randomly sitting in Rindou's room (next to his PC table), wet bras and panties hanging on a line in his own bath, and your laundry either neatly folded on the couch or simply thrown all over the house.
You appear from the pantry in just a bra and lounging shorts with a mouth full of popcorn and rollers still in your hair when you hear the commotion.
They swiftly realised then that you have fully moved yourself in here while they were away. "Made yourself real comfortable, huh?" Ran had joked, and you threw him a pillow landed right at his face. (He had a nosebleed that didn't stop for a good fifteen minutes.)
"I can't trust you guys not to leave anymore." You had said to them sternly, back faced as you were putting on one of Rindou's old band tees fresh from the wash, with Ran facing the wall out of respect (it was one of the very few times you had caught him off-guard, yet you truly do not give a fuck) and Rindou kneeling behind you on the floor, in seiza, with his head hung low.
"So, I'll keep watch on you two myself. You're not going out without telling me where, when, with who, doing what."
Your method worked pretty well for two stubborn people who you see as family, coming from a girl they never really take seriously just because you are so close to each other. It lasted about a few months, with Rindou always updating you on where he went (he did it all willingly, really), like the DJ gigs at the club or going to the gym for the Judo and Muay Thai classes he'd signed up for, and Ran never going out ever since, all to sleep like a dead person in his room.
And then there came a man named South.
He had pretty great plans for a man new to the gangster scene in Japan. Rindou had told you all about it 一 he'd swore (willingly) not to hide anything from you after that. You remember how he'd boast about surely winning the upcoming fight against Kantou Manji and Brahman because he's been real pumped lately 一 the Judo and Muay Thai classes he's been attending consistently came in real handy this time 一 and you'd smack his cheek as a warning to not fool around with these people any further because they mean serious business now.
...
South had died in the battle, as a result of his loss from the Battle of the Three Deities. Naturally, this also means that the brothers are now under the control of another man again.
Mikey is his name. You saw him once, 3 years ago in Yokohama when you were riding on the bike of Aoyagi on the way to see Ran and Rindou at the scene. Mikey had been taking the initiative and signalling for his injured men and Tenjiku's on where to go and what to do.
He has always been a leader in your eyes since then, despite the small resentment you held for him for whatever that happened. So to hear from Ran about the current Mikey and his plans for the future as soon as Rokuhara Tandai and Brahman had been absorbed into Kantou Manji, you didn't think you would be able to digest it so soon.
And of course, Rindou went away again. But this time, he told you about it before he left.
"Baby, thank you for telling me." You remember feeling so relieved to hear when he kissed and informed you of the news, choosing to let him go on his own and helping him pack for a few days and nights away from home.
He sent you a picture of the sea two days later. Then, a white car with wings and huge exhaust pipes you don't know the name of, followed by a photo of himself with the beautiful sun setting behind him.
"I got a grandmother to take it for me. She reminded me of Baa-chan (as in his own grandmother who raised all three of you together). I think I want to name my new song after her. Her name is Minori, from Zushi. Like me, she came to Kamakura for the sea. It's still beautiful here like before. I'll bring you one day, Mom and Dad would love to see you again." He wrote, before going offline soon after.
You knew then that Rindou had gone back to Kamakura 一 the place that his parents were born in, and the place that they were buried in.
"Did you have fun?" You remember kissing him welcome-home a week later. He's a little tanned from the sun of July, probably spending most of his time back there catching the waves with the new friends he's told you about, and you think you love him even more when he grabs your nape and pulls you close, closer.
You like that he is smiley now. More talkative, more responsive.
"Yeah. I got you these." And he helps you put on a pair of pearl earrings he'd gotten as a gift from an elderly couple who were on the last days of their lives, spending their time at home watching the sea in Kamakura.
You've not once taken off the earrings since that day, and he, too, hasn't spoken much to you about what happened. Whatever that has happened. You don't know what's going on in his head 一 how he's dealing with the recent death of a friend and how he is handling the new changes to his life, or if there's a specific reason he'd gone back to visit his parents' graves.
(Rindou is now a member of Kantou Manji and he truly thinks that Mikey is insane 一 Sanzu even more. He doesn't know how the others are able to stand being in the same room with him for more than a second. He genuinely hates Hanma as well. Somehow the guy had caught wind on his little girlfriend (you showing up to the scene 3 years ago and was caught by local blabber mouth Shion) and wouldn't stop annoying him about it. He has thought of killing that man right then and there with a stick up his ass to stop the news from spreading, but that would mean he'd have to go to jail again, and he doesn't want to do that again.
Ran has gotten himself a new girlfriend too 一 the fourth one over the course of the three months he'd finally started dating girls 一 that he frequently brings over to the house and fucks like it's their last day living. He thinks this is his least favourite one. He doesn't really like her as she enjoys talking down to especially you simply because she is five years and four older than the three of you.
"Who the fuck does this hag think she is? Watch me kick her out, babe. And if Ran tells me off I'll kick him first and then I'll kick him out.")
...
You fear he is falling in despair.
He's constantly staring into space. Sometimes he'd stare out the window at night overlooking Roppongi with the Tokyo Tower in the back while munching on some yoghurt mix you'd made for him as a snack, and you'd watch together with him in silence 一 behind him so he doesn't know you're there. You don't want him to be alone like you have all those years ago.
The first time, he left for two years. Then, he left for six months. He'd only came back from Kamakura just three weeks ago, on a week away from the city (the violence).
Is Mikey going to take him away from you too?
Would he leave forever now that he is involved with the man and his gang?
...
You think he is going to again.
He's been not-so-discreetly packing his clothes while he thinks you're asleep and hiding the duffle bag in the storage room.
"Rindou, don't go." You finally say it to him tonight. He is busy wiping you down so he didn't really hear you that well. He hums, "what's that?"
"Don't go. Don't leave me." You start crying out of the blue. "You always leave me. When will you stop doing that? Don't you love me? You wouldn't keep leaving if you did."
"Babe-"
"We were kids when you left. You promised to take me to the theatre and watch theatre Barbie for Christmas and then you go away with the police. We were teenagers when you left the second time. You wanted to bring me to see Coldplay sing that weekend but you went away and I had to spend all of our birthdays alone in this room. Are you going to leave again when we're adults? Aren't you gonna marry me, huh? Are you going to leave me for Mikey or are you going to make me a widow this time? Which one is it, Rindou? Tell me so I can prepare myself. You don't tell me things anymore. I don't know what's going on in your mind."
You go on like that for quite some time. You slap him once and hit him on the chest twice. You cuss him out three times 一 one for being such an asshole, two for fucking breaking your heart like it's all his and not your own anymore, three for he's such a jerk for making you wait all this while 一 and finally, finally, when you're about to cuss him out again the fourth time, he kisses you.
He kisses you and kisses you and kisses you.
"I'm sorry for wanting to leave. Again. Just thought you might be safer if I'm not around."
He realises all of your true feelings then 一 all the things you've kept bottled up in your little heart, all of it resting in your chest kept all to yourself, as you put up a strong front in front of them just to make him feel at peace again, because you don't want him to leave anymore. He tends to leave whenever he feels the urge to protect you, as if he is the biggest danger itself.
"I'm a strong girl, you know? Baa-chan always told me so. I don't need any protecting, so you don't have to leave anymore. Stay with me, Rin. Stay, don't go away again. I can't do this anymore. I don't want you to go." You beg.
"Okay. I won't go. I promise." He swipes your tears away with both palms and kisses your eyelids.
He thinks of Mikey's offer the entire time while he hushes you to sleep, pinky's interlocked just like when you were younger and was very afraid of the dark, and would make little Rindou hold your hand until you saw light again.
"Guess I'll die..." He turns to you then 一 naked, but so beautiful. Your neck is covered, littered with hickeys and his back stings from the scratches you'd left on his skin earlier, but he doesn't mind. He never minds. He loves it, actually. "I've talked it out with death. Mom, Dad, Izana, and South... This'll surely be the last one I'll go through. My own, and yours."
"We'll see the light soon, hopefully." He whispers in your ear. "We'll be free."
"Okay." You mumble sleepily, a tired smile stretching across your kiss-swollen lips. You don't really get what he's saying, but whatever. Your pinky's are intertwined, there's no way he'd ever leave again, right? He'd be breaking your code if he did.
...
Ran has been waiting for him for the past hour.
Despite his patience slowly running out, he doesn't find it in him to rush his brother, or to yell at him through the door 一 to hurry it up and get it moving like he usually would.
He gives him time. He understands that it is a big decision. He knows it's going to break your heart if Rindou had truly said yes to the offer.
He wonders what your reaction would be like if he did.
A honk from downstairs catches his attention and he realises it is time.
His eyes glances at the clock hanging off the wall 一 9am sharp on the clock. And then they move down to the photo frame hanging just below 一 the three of you at school in uniforms, a picture taken by a teacher Ran had absolutely hated, but you loved.
A black limousine, as mentioned before in the meeting, parked on the curb with double signals turned on.
A man exits the car and tucks something into the back pocket of his Levi's. He opens the door for another man. Mikey exits, stands, and stares at Ran through the window 一 a 20-something-floor distance between the two, but he knows right exactly where they live, and where exactly Ran is at.
It fears him.
And it fears him even more that Rindou is not awake.
That was a gun he was holding.
So he enters your room, watch the two of you get tangled under the sheets with drool all over your pillows, hair messy, and the alarm clock clearly 一 deliberately 一 not ringing.
He smiles. Ran thinks all the fear in him is gone.
"You've been brave, Stupid Rin." He says.
"Nii-chan'll go alone this time." He fixes your blanket and squeezes Rindou's oily nose shut, watching as he struggled to breathe a little, but slept it off anyway. A quiet laugh escapes his lips and he sits by the bed.
"Be safe."
And he prepares to stand.
"What about 'stay home'?" You ask when he is halfway up from the bed.
He knew you had been awake the whole time anyway.
"Will you come home?"
Ran pinches your cheek.
"Nah." He braids a thin strand of your hair with quick work. "I won't call either."
"Be safe, bunny. Take care of Rindou."
You have always liked hopping around when you were younger. You think you'll go do it more often now. At the park, maybe 一 you'll go terrorise some 8 year-olds and steal their skipping ropes, and some chalk perhaps.
"Bye-bye, Nii-chan."
...
"I see you've made your choice. Great one, Ran."
"...You have me for life, Mikey. I'll kill for you. I'll die for you. My life is now yours," he pauses.
"In exchange for that..."
Mikey thinks he is afraid to say it.
I shall scare him further then.
"I did say I'll kill him and her both if he said no, didn't I? That I'd shoot them in the head and feed them to Shiba Taiju's sharks. They've been really hungry lately."
"Yes."
And?
"Mikey, I'm good. I can fight, I can stay loyal. I'm good with the business groove, I can work with Kokonoi and bring in the money. In exchange for that, for having me for life, you will leave my brother alone. You will leave his girlfriend, my sister, alone. I am coming to you as a man who has a family. Please, leave them alone."
"That's interesting." Mikey grins, maniacally.
He pulls the trigger, shoots the other man.
Mikey tells Ran to drive the car. There is blood all over the steering wheel, but he grabs onto it as if it is merely just water.
Now his hands are really, really, tainted with blood. Tainted with the blood of his own soul 一 Haitani Ran 一 as he sells it to the devil. The Pompompurin keychain you had gifted him a few years back because you thought it'd resembled him a lot, now covered in the same blood as he hides it deep in his pocket.
He feels his hands tremble as he puts the gear to D and steps on the accelerator.
To our memory.
"You're wise, Ran."
No witnesses. Only between us both. I will leave Haitani Rindou and your sister alone.
"You have my word."
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in another life, where rindou said no to joining what would soon become bonten, and ran exchanged his life for both rindou and yours.
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sukunas-bitxh · 8 months ago
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Damn it!!! Teasing us with a cliff hanger
𝐁𝐎𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍'𝐒 𝐍𝐔𝐌𝐁𝐄𝐑 𝐓𝐖𝐎
— sanzu haruchiyo x fem!reader
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PART TWO 10.1k words
short summary. in which your heartbreak over Mikey pulls you into the dangerous and irresistible orbit of Bonten's Number Two, Haruchiyo Sanzu. warnings. sanzu haruchiyo is his own warning, graphic violence, substance abuse, toxic/manipulative relationships, explicit sexual content, depression & self-destructive behaviour, strong language. tags. female reader insert, bonten au, tsundere!sanzu, ex-boyfriend!mikey, angst with a happy ending, slow burn, heavy pining/yearning.
masterlist
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Manjiro Sano never hurts you—not physically, at least—though the emotional havoc he's wreaked has left you unraveling. But what you face now is something entirely different. 
Haruchiyo Sanzu's grip is iron-clad, dragging you away from Mikey's door with no regard for your protests. His fingers dig into your wrist like vices, the pressure biting deep into your skin until the pain is sharp and throbbing. It radiates up your arm, but even that ache is dull compared to the hollow devastation gnawing at your chest. The image of Mikey with her—so close, so intimate—burns behind your eyelids every time you blink.
It's as though the world around you has ceased to exist. You can't even register the hallways passing by as Sanzu hauls you through them, his erratic pace nearly causing you to stumble. You feel like a ragdoll in his grasp, powerless, your heart beating out of sync with reality.
Kakucho's voice filters through the numbness. "Sanzu... what are you doing?"
There's concern in his tone, but he stays planted where he is, as if crossing that line would be dangerous. 
Sanzu doesn't slow, doesn't even glance at him. His lips curl into a sneer as cold as the concrete walls. 
"Taking care of a stray," he bites, yanking you closer as though you might slip from his grip.
The words sting, but not as much as what follows.
Kakucho's frown deepens, but he's hesitant. "You sure you wanna do that? She's—"
Sanzu cuts him off, sharp and merciless. "She's nothing. A nobody. Mikey made that pretty fucking clear, didn't he?"
Nothing. A nobody.
Each word hits you with the force of a physical blow. Whatever you were to Mikey, whatever you thought you had—it's been ripped away, stripped down to these ugly truths. 
You're nothing now.
Kakucho's gaze flickers to you, sympathy and uncertainty mingling in his dark eyes. But you can't meet them. You drop your head, staring at the floor as though it holds all the answers you need. Maybe if you don't look, you won't have to acknowledge what Sanzu just said. Maybe you can pretend you didn't hear it.
Mikey doesn't want you anymore.
"Stop this," Kakucho urges, stepping forward now, his movements careful, deliberate. "You're high. This isn't going to end well, you know that."
Sanzu's eyes snap up, wild and feral, like a predator guarding its kill. "Exactly." His voice drops to a venomous whisper. "So back the fuck off before I kill you too."
The tension between them is palpable, but Kakucho eventually steps back, his jaw tight with barely suppressed anger. He's seen what Sanzu is capable of when he's in this state. They all have. 
"Just don't go too far," Kakucho mutters, his voice tight, his eyes flicking to you one last time before he steps aside. His reluctance lingers, but in the end, he's still letting you be dragged away.
Ran, sprawled lazily on the couch, barely lifts his head as he calls after Sanzu. "Mission's at nine. Try not to be dead before then."
Sanzu pays no mind to either of them. His grip tightens, and you're dragged deeper into Bonten's labyrinthine corridors, every step taking you further from any hope of intervention.
He pulls you into a small room, slamming the door behind him with enough force to rattle your bones. A click follows—the lock sliding into place—and you're alone. Alone with him.
The room is stark, clinical, a conference table dominating the space with its polished wood surface and neatly lined chairs. But there's nothing neat about what's happening now. The moment Sanzu shoves you against the table, hard enough that the edge bites into your lower back, the sterile, formal atmosphere of the room is obliterated.
His hand shoots up, fingers wrapping around your throat. The pressure is immediate, your breath catching in your throat as your vision blurs at the edges. You gasp instinctively, hands flying to his wrist, nails scraping against his skin, but he's too strong. His hold tightens further, cutting off more of your air, and panic grips you.
He leans in, his breath hot against your face, laced with the stench of drugs. His expression is wild, unhinged, pupils dilated and blown wide with intoxication. But beneath the drugs, there's something else—an anger, a bitterness that has nothing to do with you, but is aimed at you all the same.
"Now..." His voice is low, almost a growl. "What the fuck do I have to do to make you understand that you don't belong here?"
Your lungs burn, your head spinning as your fingers claw at his hand. I don't belong here? The thought pierces through your fog of fear. Maybe he's right. You're not sure of anything anymore—not after Mikey, not after what you saw. 
You can't breathe, and everything is turning dark. Sanzu's face, his mocking grin, is the only thing in focus.
Tears well up, spilling over your lashes. But you're not crying because of the physical pain. It's the emotional torment that's killing you. The crushing realization that you are utterly, completely alone. No one's coming to save you. 
Sanzu watches as you choke on your own sobs, and he laughs, low and cold. "Already crying?" he mocks. "I haven't even started yet."
But the tears won't stop. The dam inside you breaks, and you're gasping, sobbing uncontrollably in front of him. You can't take it anymore. Not this. Not after what Mikey's done to you.
"Just..." You choke on the words, your voice broken and hoarse. "Just fucking kill me already."
For a moment, there's silence. Then, his grip on your neck loosens just enough to let you breathe. You gasp, sucking in precious air, coughing as your lungs fight for life. But the relief is short-lived.
Sanzu's face hovers inches from yours, his smirk growing, eyes gleaming with dangerous amusement. "Kill you?" His tone is soft now, condescending. "Nah. That's too easy."
His fingers trace the curve of your jaw, rough, possessive. "I think I'd rather play with you a little longer." 
You squeeze your eyes shut, hands pressing against your face as tears continue to spill down your cheeks. This feels so stupid. So, so stupid. Mikey's across the hall with his wife, living his perfect life, while you're stuck here with Sanzu—his insane, drugged-up number two. 
What a fucking downgrade. 
Suddenly, without warning, Sanzu grabs your face roughly, forcing you to look up at him through your tear-filled eyes.
"You're pathetic," he sneers before crushing his lips against yours. 
The kiss is brutal, possessive, and filled with an overwhelming heat that makes your skin crawl. You try to push him away, but his weight presses you into the table, your wrists pinned beneath his hands. It's suffocating, just like his grip on your throat.
And then you taste it. Something bitter and foreign sliding past your lips. Your eyes widen in horror as you realize what he's doing.
He pulls back, his lips brushing yours as he whispers, "Swallow."
You shake your head, panic rising in your chest. No way. You're not going to swallow that. You try to spit it out, but his hand clamps down over your mouth, smothering any attempt to resist.
"Don't make this harder than it has to be," he murmurs, his tone soft but filled with menace. "Be a good girl... and swallow."
His words slither into your ears, so sweet and venomous all at once, poisoning what little willpower you have left. You want to fight him. You want to scream and tear away from him, but you can't. Your body is too sluggish, too weak to resist, and part of you doesn't want to. 
It wants him to be right.
It's easier, isn't it? To let him take control. To stop resisting and just give in, let the numbness wash over you. Maybe then the pain of everything—of Mikey, of the betrayal, of this twisted mess—will fade, even just for a moment.
"I said swallow," Sanzu hisses, his patience thinning. "That. Shit."
You finally swallow the pill, the bitterness lingering on your tongue like a promise you'll regret. The drug settles deep inside you, blooming warmth spreading through your chest like wildfire, but there's no comfort in it. It only intensifies the chaos swirling in your mind—the betrayal, the loss, the desire to escape. It all collides in a sickening wave, leaving you gasping, clinging to the edge of the table as your body betrays you.
Sanzu watches you with an intensity that makes your skin crawl, his eyes dark, wide, and hungry. He's waiting. Waiting for the drug to take hold, waiting for you to crumble.
"Good girl," he breathes, and the words slide over your skin, soft and menacing. His gaze lingers, tracing every tremor in your body, every stifled breath. 
The drug spreads quickly—too quickly. The next thing you know the room is spinning violently, the floor tipping beneath your feet, and you're stumbling as warmth floods your limbs. You try to steady yourself, but your body feels too light, too hot, like you're floating, disconnected from reality. Your breath quickens, panic swelling in your chest as your senses sharpen, every touch, every sound amplified to unbearable levels.
Sanzu's hands are still on you, his touch electric, sending jolts through your skin. You gasp, your heart racing as the euphoria spreads, tangling with the devastation inside you, turning everything into a dizzying blur of sensation. You can barely breathe, and yet, in the haze of it all, a part of you is aware of his gaze, watching you intently, reveling in your reaction.
"How does it feel? Hmm?" His voice is low, almost a purr, and you can feel his breath against your ear as he leans in closer. 
"First time's always the best." He laughs, a quiet, sinister sound that rattles through your bones. "You'll feel good soon... or maybe you'll just cry harder. Who knows?"
You choke on a sob, the tears spilling over as the drug overtakes you, drowning you in heat and haze. Your body feels foreign, your mind too foggy to comprehend anything other than the intensity of it all. You want to fight it, fight him, but there's nothing to hold on to—nothing but him.
And that terrifies you.
"Let go," he murmurs. "Let it take over... Forget about him. Forget everything. Just feel."
Your body acts before your mind can catch up, your hand clutching the front of his shirt, fingers twisting into the fabric. It's an instinctual, desperate motion, driven by something deep inside—a need for warmth, for something to hold on to. You can't explain it, but you crave him now, the heat of his body, the solidity of his presence. You pull him closer, though you don't even understand why, though it feels all wrong.
"Look at you..." Sanzu's chuckle is dark, amused. "Hanging onto me like a lost puppy." 
But he leans in anyway, his breath brushing against your neck as he speaks. His proximity feels like a lifeline, shielding you from the blinding lights that seem to intensify with every passing second. The room tilts, but his voice anchors you, even as it weaves dirty, degrading things in your ear—things that make your stomach twist, yet ignite something you don't want to acknowledge.
Your heart races, breath coming in ragged bursts. Everything is too intense—his touch, his words, the sensation of your body betraying you. You don't understand this feeling, this mixture of euphoria and humiliation. It's confusing, overwhelming, and yet, you can't shake the craving. The need for more. 
His touch, his heat.
Then, without warning, he steps back.
The sudden absence of him is like a cold slap to the face, leaving you breathless and cold. Your body aches for the warmth he took with him, for the closeness that you didn't even know you craved. You hate it. You hate the emptiness he leaves behind.
He adjusts his waistcoat with a casual smirk, like this was all just a game to him, like your unraveling was just another form of entertainment. 
"You're on your own now," he says, his voice detached, distant. "Enjoy the ride."
And just like that, he's gone, the door clicking shut behind him.
You're left sprawled across the table, the world spinning, lights burning into your skull. Your limbs are heavy, useless, and you try to move, to escape the overwhelming heat and dizziness suffocating you, but your body won't cooperate. You tumble to the floor, the carpet catching your fall with a soft thud.
A giggle bubbles up from your throat, though you don't know why. Everything feels distant, like you're floating, detached from reality. The warmth of the drug mingles with the cold ache of abandonment, creating a disorienting swirl of emotions that you can't make sense of.
And so you lie there, lost in the haze, your body sinking deeper into the plush floor as the laughter fades, leaving only the hollow emptiness behind.
Until, finally, the world pulls you into the darkness of sleep.
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Manjiro Sano never cheated on you before. You've known him for nine years—nine long years where loyalty was never questioned, not once. He's never strayed, never looked at another woman the way he looks at you. That was the truth you clung to through all the chaos, the violence, the bloodshed. But tonight, the foundation of that truth crumbles before your eyes.
When you catch him with his wife, it's not exactly cheating, is it? Not when she's the one wearing the ring. Not when she's the one he made vows to. And yet, it feels like betrayal. If anything, you're the other woman now. Your position, the one you held so dearly, has shifted, without your consent.
He's the one betraying her, not you. But that logic doesn't make the pain any easier to bear. It still cuts deep, searing through you with what you had just witnessed in Mikey's office. You thought you were strong enough to endure it, thought you could compartmentalize the ache gnawing at your insides. You were wrong. The sight of them together burns itself into your mind like a wound that refuses to heal.
Until Sanzu forced that pill down your throat. 
The memory floods back, vivid and suffocating. His twisted grin, the roughness of his hands, the way he made you feel so helpless. But now? Now you feel the strangest relief. The aching wound in your chest—the one Mikey and his wife carved out—fades into a distant blur, replaced by a creeping, unnatural numbness. Your mind is hazy, clouded, but in that haze, you find comfort.
The world felt kinder in that numbness. And for a moment, you were almost grateful for the relief Sanzu gave you. Almost.
When you wake up, the high is gone, leaving behind a pounding headache and a body that feels stiff, heavy, like someone drained the life from you. The floor feels strange under your hands, cold and unfamiliar. You blink, trying to orient yourself, and realize you're not on the floor anymore. Someone moved you—you're sprawled across the couch in the executive lounge, a blanket thrown haphazardly over you like an afterthought.
Your body screams in discomfort, muscles sore, your skin aching where his hands had pressed too hard. But the pain is secondary to the memories—Sanzu. That damn pill. The way he—
"You're awake."
The voice cuts through the fog in your mind, and your head snaps to the side. Mikey sits in a chair not far from you, the dim light casting shadows across his face. He's watching you, his expression unreadable, but his eyes... his eyes are different. Tired. 
The night stretches behind him through the window, a dark sky lit by city lights. The office is quiet. Everyone else is gone. Even Sanzu.
It's just you and Mikey now.
You don't answer him. The ache in your chest resurfaces, sharper this time, suffocating as the image of him and his wife flashes in your mind again. It hits harder now, with Mikey sitting right in front of you, looking at you.
You push yourself up, your body swaying under the weight of exhaustion and leftover dizziness. Your throat is sore, bruised, where Sanzu's fingers had pressed too hard, too rough, forcing. You reach up instinctively, wincing at the tenderness, and you catch Mikey's gaze drop to your neck.
His jaw clenches. The air between you shifts—heavy, tense.
"He won't touch you again."
His voice is low, soft, but there's a dangerous edge beneath it, one that sends a chill through your veins. You know that tone. It's the tone he uses before someone dies.
You swallow, the reality sinking in. What has Mikey done? What did he do to Sanzu? The thought twists in your gut, unease settling deep inside you, but part of you pushes the thought away. Sanzu deserves whatever he gets, doesn't he? After what he did?
You swallow hard, trying to find your voice. "Forget about that... He gave me something. A pill."
Mikey's face shifts, unreadable for a moment, then he shrugs. "A pill? X, probably. He does that sometimes. Are you alright?"
That makes sense. No wonder you passed out so quickly. But it doesn't ease the anger boiling inside you, doesn't take away the humiliation of letting Sanzu drag you deeper into his twisted games when you were already at your lowest.
"I'm fine," you bite out, though it feels like a lie. 
Fine? You're far from fine.
The words hang in the air, sharp, bitter, and when you look at Mikey, the ache in your chest becomes unbearable. You're not sure if it's anger or heartbreak that makes it so hard to breathe.
"Mikey..." you begin again, your voice cracking slightly, the words lodged in your throat. It's harder than you thought to say it, because once it's out, there's no taking it back. 
"We can't just pretend like nothing's changed."
He doesn't look at you at first. He just stares at the floor, his jaw clenched tight, as though he's trying to force himself to say something, but can't. The silence stretches on painfully before he finally speaks, his voice so low you almost don't hear him.
"I know things are different." Each word sounds forced, like it's taking every ounce of strength for him to admit it. "But..."
Your heart clenches, your breath catching in your throat. There's always a 'but' with him, isn't there? Always some excuse, some reason why things can't go back to the way they were.
"But what, Mikey?" you ask, unable to stop yourself. It's not anger that drives you this time, but the desperation clawing at your insides. "You have feelings for her now, don't you?"
You watch him as he exhales slowly, his face still calm, almost detached. You wish he would say something, anything, to ease the ache in your chest. But he doesn't.
"I do," he says, his voice distant. It's a confession that feels like a knife to your heart. "I can't deny that. She's... she's gonna have my kid. It's not simple anymore."
The words hit you like a physical blow. You knew it, deep down, but hearing him say it aloud makes it real in a way you weren't prepared for. The sharp, bitter taste of betrayal lingers in the back of your throat. You swallow hard, trying to keep your emotions from spilling over, but your voice wavers when you speak again.
"And us?" 
The question slips out, soft and fragile, but it cuts deeper than anything you've said before. You're asking about more than just your relationship—you're asking about the nine years you gave him, about the promises he made, about the love you once believed was unbreakable.
Mikey's eyes finally meet yours, and for a brief moment, you see the boy you once knew—the boy who swore he'd never leave you, who promised you forever under the stars when you were both too young to understand what that meant. His gaze softens for a second, a flicker of something almost tender, almost apologetic.
"I still care about you," he says, his voice low but steady. There's no hesitation in his tone, no doubt. But it's not the answer you were hoping for. "That hasn't changed."
But it has. 
The truth of that slams into you with crushing finality. You shake your head, the weight of his words pressing down on you, suffocating you. 
"Oh, it has, Mikey," you whisper, barely able to get the words out. "You know that."
The silence that follows is thick, heavy with everything left unsaid. Mikey doesn't argue, doesn't try to convince you otherwise. He just leans back in his chair, his hands falling limp at his sides, as though he's too exhausted to fight anymore. There's a defeat in his posture that wasn't there before, as if even he knows this is the end.
You want to scream at him, demand why it took him so long to be honest, why he let things fall apart so silently. But the words won't come. All that's left is the ache, the unbearable knowledge that the man you've loved for nearly a decade is slipping further away from you with every passing second.
Mikey looks like he's about to say something, his lips parting slightly, but then he falters, his shoulders sagging under the weight of whatever he's holding back. 
"Maybe," he murmurs after a moment, his voice so soft you almost miss it. For the first time, he sounds vulnerable. "But I don't want to lose you. I can't..."
His voice breaks, just a little, and that cracks something inside of you too. Because it sounds like the truth, like the rawness of his feelings is finally breaking through the cold exterior he always wears. Nine years together, and this is where it's come to—a place where even his honesty feels too late. Too hollow. You know it's not enough. It never will be.
You don't want to lose him either. You don't want to believe that all those years meant nothing. But deep down, you know it already has. The moment she became his wife, the moment he chose her, you lost this battle. The war in your heart is over, and all that remains is the wreckage of what once was.
"You're already losing me," you whisper, the finality of it sinking in. Each word feels like a dagger in your own chest. "When you started choosing her, Mikey."
Mikey doesn't move, doesn't say a word. He just sits there, silent and still, like he's frozen in time. Maybe he doesn't have the strength to argue. Maybe, deep down, he knows it's true. He's losing you, and there's nothing left he can do to stop it.
You don't wait for his answer anymore. You've spent too long waiting for him to decide, too long hoping for a future that's already gone. The pain in your body—your aching muscles, the soreness from Sanzu's rough touch—it all fades into the background, drowned out by the unbearable weight of your broken heart.
You push yourself to your feet, your legs shaking slightly under the strain. But you don't let yourself falter. You can't, not now.
"You need to figure this out on your own," you say, your voice trembling despite your best efforts to stay strong. Your words are an ultimatum, a final plea for him to understand what he's done. 
"Because I can't keep waiting for you to choose me. I'm not meant to be an option. I'm worth more than that."
There's nothing left to say. The words hang in the air, heavy with the weight of goodbye. Mikey doesn't move, doesn't speak, and that hurts more than anything else. He's letting you walk away.
Without another word, you turn and head toward the elevator. Each step feels like a thousand miles, like you're walking out of his life for good. And maybe you are. Maybe this is the end you've been dreading for so long.
The elevator doors close behind you with a soft click, and in the quiet of the enclosed space, the tears finally come. They fall silently at first, warm trails down your cheeks, but you don't wipe them away. 
As the elevator descends, you let the tears flow freely. The weight of the years, the memories, the love you poured into him—it all hits you at once, and you don't stop it. You don't need to hide from the truth anymore.
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Manjiro Sano has killed before. The thought of it had once terrified you, the cold certainty in his eyes when he spoke of violence always chilling. 
You know this because you asked him, point-blank, one night when the weight of his world became too much to ignore. He didn't tell you directly, but the silence that followed, the coldness in his eyes, was answer enough. In that moment, the boy you knew, the boy you loved, disappeared into the shadows of the man he had become.
Still, you accepted him. Loved him anyway. You convinced yourself it was the only way to keep him—by accepting all of him, even the parts you couldn't bear to understand. You've always found a way to justify it—his actions, his choices, the darkness that clung to him like a second skin. Because loving him was the only thing you knew how to do. It became an instinct, a reflex, something that felt inevitable.
But now, the uncertainty gnaws at you, harder than ever before. Not just the heaviness of knowing who he is, but the gnawing question of what he's capable of—what he's done to the people around him. 
What he's done to Sanzu.
Your mind races, replaying every detail of your last conversation with Mikey. The hard edge to his voice, the finality in his words. If Mikey killed him, it's because of you, isn't it? Because of what Sanzu did to you. 
If Sanzu's dead, then his blood is on your hands. 
That thought lodges itself deep in your chest, a weight too heavy to shake. Even after everything—after the drug, the violence, the way he pushed you to the edge—you can't stomach the idea of Sanzu dying because of you.
Which is why you find yourself here again, standing outside Sanzu's condominium in the middle of the night, your heart pounding so loud you can barely hear your own thoughts. 
Mikey's words echo in your mind—his cold, distant voice, the final crack in everything you thought you knew about him. The realization had shattered you in ways you hadn't been prepared for.
It's over.
The words taste bitter on your tongue, but they ring with a truth that you can't deny. The boy you loved, the man you thought you'd stand beside forever—he's gone. And in his place is someone you no longer recognize.
Your feet move almost on their own as you approach Sanzu's door, but a hesitation stops you just before you reach the doorbell. Do you even know what you're doing here? What you want? You aren't sure. But the pull toward him, toward finding out what Mikey's done, is stronger than your doubts. 
With a shaky breath, you press the doorbell. The silence that follows is deafening, punctuated only by the racing of your heart. Each second that passes feels like a lifetime, until finally, the shuffle of footsteps inside tells you someone's there.
The door swings open with a creak, and your breath catches in your throat at the sight of him. Relief washes over you—but only for a second. What replaces it is a sharp stab of pity. 
Sanzu looks like hell. His one eye is swollen and bruised, a fresh bandage covering the right side of his face. His lips are split and caked with dried blood, a sight that twists something deep in your chest. 
His trademark sneer is still there, but it's marred by the pain that's evident in the way he stands, slightly hunched, favoring one side. There's an anger in his eyes, but behind it, you can see the weariness, the vulnerability he would never admit to.
"What the fuck do you want now?" Sanzu snaps, his voice sharp despite the obvious discomfort he's in. He's trying to sound like his usual self, but you can tell the fight has been knocked out of him. He's hurting. Badly.
Your mouth opens to respond, the words on the tip of your tongue, but they die there. Seeing him like this—broken, battered—it's not what you expected. It shakes something loose inside of you. Your eyes scan his injuries, your mind reeling with the knowledge that Mikey did this. The boy you loved did this.
Mikey isn't supposed to be this brutal. Not with his own.
The thought makes your chest tighten painfully, and before you can stop it, the tidal wave of emotion crashes over you. Tears spill from your eyes, hot and unchecked. You thought you'd cried all the tears you had to give tonight, but this time, they come from a place deeper than heartbreak. This time, you're crying for everything—for Mikey, for Sanzu, for the person you've become in all this mess.
Sanzu's sneer fades slightly as he takes in the sight of you, replaced by an annoyed scowl. He's trying to hide his discomfort, but you can see the confusion in his eyes. 
"The hell are you crying for? Stop that now!" His words are rough, but there's an edge of bewilderment in them. 
He doesn't understand why you're here, why you're crying.
But you can't stop. The sobs come hard and fast, tearing through you in a way that makes it hard to breathe. You're overwhelmed, consumed by the realization that Mikey is no longer the man you fell in love with. When did he start to change? When did the violence become more than just a part of his world, but a part of him?
Sanzu watches you, his irritation growing as your sobs continue. He's never been good with emotions—especially not yours.
"Shit," he mutters under his breath, rubbing a hand across his face and wincing as he touches the bruise. "You're crying over him, huh?"
His words hit you like a slap, and more tears fall, a pitiful, uncontrollable mess. And in that moment, you don't care. You don't care that Sanzu's dangerous, that he's hurt you before, that he's the reason you ended up here in the first place. All you can think about is the fact that Mikey—your Mikey—is gone.
He's no longer the boy who used to hold you late at night, whispering promises of a future that now feels like a distant dream. He's no longer the man who looked at you like you were his entire world.
He's no longer yours.
Sanzu scoffs, the sound harsh in the quiet hallway. "Fuck's sake, stop crying. You're acting like a kid." 
But even his sharp words don't reach you. 
When you don't respond, don't even acknowledge him, something in Sanzu snaps. He can't stand it anymore—the emotions, the tears, the fact that you're standing here crying over someone else while he's falling apart.
"Goddammit!" he snarls, and before you can blink, he slams the door in your face. 
The sound echoes in the empty hallway, a loud, final punctuation to the moment. You're left standing there, your body trembling as the sobs finally start to quiet, though the tears continue to stream down your cheeks. You're alone again, and the weight of that reality hits you harder than anything else.
Mikey is gone. And so is the life you thought you'd have.
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Manjiro Sano hated seeing you cry. Every time your tears would spill, it was like the world stopped spinning. His face would twist in pain, even if the tears weren't his fault. He once said that when you cried, it felt like he had failed—like he should have protected you from whatever caused them. 
He always pulled you into his arms when you broke down, his touch so gentle it was almost unreal. He would stroke your hair, whispering that everything was okay, hiding you in the crook of his shoulder so you wouldn't feel so exposed.
But that Mikey? That Mikey is long gone.
Now you're standing outside Sanzu's condo unit, your fingers shaking as you try to dry your tear-streaked face. The cold air bites at your skin, or maybe it's the weight of what's happened tonight that chills you to the bone. 
The second time you've cried in front of Sanzu today. 
The first time, his hands were around your throat, forcing a pill past your lips, his eyes distant and clouded with drugs. The second time, there was no pill, no high to hide behind—just bruises, pain, and a door slammed in your face.
You shouldn't have come here, but at least you know he's alive. Mikey hadn't killed him, though something in the pit of your stomach told you it could have easily gone that way. You should feel relieved. Instead, the relief is mingled with anger, a deep-seated frustration that makes your heart pound even harder.
Just as you wipe away the last tear, the door swings open again. 
Sanzu stands in the doorway, his silhouette stark against the dim light inside. His scowl deepens as his eyes land on you, scanning your face like he's surprised you're still standing there. 
Then, without a word, he grabs your wrist and pulls you inside, slamming the door shut behind you. His grip is rough, but it loosens as soon as you're inside, leaving you stunned and blinking in the middle of his condo unit.
He disappears into another room and comes back with a box of tissues, shoving it toward you without a word. You take it, still in shock, as your eyes land on the bandage on his cheek. It's crooked, slapped on without much care, and his busted lip is still untreated, blood crusting around the edges, making him look even more broken than usual. You flinch inwardly at the sight.
"Did you get that wound treated?" Your voice is softer than you intended, concern slipping through the cracks in your resolve.
Sanzu glares at you. "What's it to you?"
You ignore his harshness, stepping closer. "You need to clean it properly," you say as your eyes fall to the faded scars at the corners of his mouth, scars you've always tried not to stare at too long. 
"Or it'll leave... a scar."
"Yeah? So what?" he mutters, brushing off your concern as he walks away.
You stare at him, the words catching in your throat. The sight of him—bruised and bandaged sloppily—somehow makes your chest ache in ways you don't fully understand.
"Don't you have any antiseptic?" you ask, turning toward the door. "I'll go buy some if—"
"I have it," he grunts, cutting you off. "Top shelf, next to you. You'd think I wouldn't know how to deal with a damn wound in this line of work?"
You glance at the haphazard bandage on his cheek, clearly not impressed by his self-care. Still, you open the shelf and retrieve a small emergency kit. 
"Then why didn't you treat the cut on your lip?" you ask, your voice a little firmer this time as you sit on the edge of his couch. "Surely you know you need to put antiseptic on it."
Sanzu grumbles under his breath, looking away. "Because... it fucking hurts, alright?"
You freeze for a second, blinking at him in surprise. Sanzu—the man who seems to thrive on chaos and pain—can't handle the sting of a simple cut? It's almost absurd, and yet, in that moment, you glimpse a flicker of something real beneath his usual mask. Vulnerability.
"I didn't think you were afraid of pain," you murmur, more to yourself than to him.
"I'm not afraid of it," he snaps, his voice rising defensively. "I just fucking hate it."
There's a childishness in his tone that catches you off guard, like he's throwing a tantrum rather than admitting weakness. The outburst lingers in the air for a moment before you decide to ignore it, reaching for the antiseptic in the first aid kit.
"Let me treat it." Your voice is calm, quiet. An olive branch, if only he'd take it.
Sanzu stares at you, his jaw tight, his eyes narrowing. "Forget it," he mutters, brushing you off. "I don't need you all over my business."
"You're a dick, you know that?" you say, watching him limp slightly as he heads toward the pantry. The guilt sits heavy in your stomach.
He doesn't even glance back as he opens the fridge, retrieving a beer. "And I get paid for it," he replies, voice flat, devoid of his usual smugness.
You roll your eyes as he cracks the can open, lifting it to his lips, his pink hair a mess, like he's been through more than just a fight with Mikey. The black shirt and sweatpants he's wearing make him look almost... domestic. It hits you, suddenly—this familiarity, this strange sense of calm despite everything. It reminds you of Mikey, the way he used to walk around your apartment. The way things used to be. 
Your heart twists.
"We broke up," you blurt out, the words spilling from your lips before you can stop them. It's like ripping off a bandage—quick and painful, but it has to be done.
Sanzu pauses mid-sip, his back still turned to you. You watch as he downs the rest of the beer in one long gulp, crushing the can in his hand before tossing it aside. 
"'Bout time. I'm surprised it took him this long to figure it out," he mutters, but his words lack bite. There's no usual mockery, no cruelty, just... hollow indifference.
You study him, sensing the weight of his own pain, the bruises left by Mikey—not just on his body but somewhere deeper. You want to ask, to probe at the cracks in his usual defenses, but you don't. Instead, you take a breath and shift the conversation.
"I know, right?" You force a smile that feels thin, brittle. "I'm so heartbroken." The sarcasm coats your words, but it can't hide the tremor in your voice. 
"You must be feeling pretty good right now, so why not do me a favor?" You motion for him to sit beside you. "Sit here and let me treat your wounds."
Sanzu turns slowly, his eyes scanning you as if weighing your request. You can tell he's torn, that a part of him wants to accept the help, even if his pride keeps getting in the way.
You sit there, waiting, knowing that if he needed to push you away, he would've already done it. You don't say anything, just hold your ground, offering him something he's clearly not used to—genuine care.
Finally, with a sharp exhale, he mutters, the words almost begrudging, "Fine. But don't expect me to thank you."
You smile softly, shaking your head as you hold out the antiseptic. "I wouldn't dream of it."
He walks toward you, but instead of sitting next to you, he drops down on the opposite couch, legs sprawled out carelessly, almost as if daring you to come to him instead. You raise an eyebrow, the familiar exasperation rising within you.
"You could at least make it easier for me," you grumble, standing up and walking over. 
There's a flicker of amusement in his eyes as you sit down in front of him on the coffee table, closer now, the scent of alcohol faint but present on his breath. He watches you carefully, eyes following your movements with that predatory focus he always seems to carry, even in moments like this.
When you peel back the bandage on his cheek, revealing the jagged scrape underneath, he winces, trying but failing to hide it. You smirk despite yourself, dabbing the wound with antiseptic. 
"You're such a baby," you tease, the words slipping out before you can stop them.
The reaction is immediate. "Am not," he snaps, his voice cutting through the space between you. "Don't fucking call me that again." There's a sharp edge to his words, but you can hear the vulnerability beneath it, the bruised pride of someone who's used to fighting, not being taken care of.
You ignore his outburst, focusing on his wound. This time, you're more careful, your touch gentler as you apply the ointment. His lips press into a thin line, and you can feel the effort it takes for him to sit still. There's something oddly endearing about it, watching him struggle with the idea of being vulnerable, even for a moment.
He really hates being called a baby, doesn't he?
When you finish with the bandage, you move on to his split lip, focusing on the dried blood caked around the cut. He avoids your gaze, scowling as if pretending this isn't happening. 
As your fingers brush against the faded scars at the corners of his mouth, curiosity gnaws at you. Before you can stop yourself, you press a thumb to one of the scars, feeling the jagged line beneath your skin.
Sanzu jerks back, his eyes blazing as he swats your hand away. "What the hell?" he growls, the vulnerability from a moment ago vanishing beneath the weight of his anger.
"Sorry," you murmur, pulling your hand back. "I got distracted." 
The air between you shifts again, tense and fragile. You can tell you've touched something he doesn't want to share, a part of him that's still too raw, too guarded. And yet, you can't help but wonder what it would take for him to open up—to let you see more than just the surface.
You watch him stands abruptly in front of you, like he's about to bolt. "But I'm not done yet," you lie, trying to keep him there, keep the moment from slipping away.
He hesitates, glaring at you, but after a second, he sits back down with a grunt. "Whatever, just get it over with. I don't have all night to wait around."
You stay still, your hands resting in your lap as you stare at him, not moving to pick up the first aid kit again. "Can I ask you something?"
Sanzu slouches deeper into the couch, his eyes narrowing at you. "What now?"
You take a breath, steadying yourself. "How did you get those scars?"
The question hangs in the air between you, heavy and loaded with meaning. For a moment, you expect him to laugh it off, to mock you for even asking. But instead, he just stares at you, his gaze cold and distant, like he's weighing whether or not to answer.
When he finally speaks, his voice is low, almost a whisper. "Mikey gave them to me."
The admission hits you like a punch to the gut. Mikey? Mikey did that to him? You feel your heart sink, your stomach twisting in disbelief. Judging by the faded look of the scars, it wasn't recent—this happened years ago. Long before Bonten. So why...?
"Why?" Your voice cracks, betraying the flood of emotions rising inside you.
Sanzu's eyes darken, his expression hardening. "I don't fucking remember," he snaps, his tone sharp, like he's daring you to push further. 
But the look in his eyes tells you more than his words ever could. This isn't something he wants to talk about—not with you, not with anyone.
You lower your gaze, staring down at your hands as the weight of everything threatens to crush you again. The urge to cry surfaces, hot tears stinging your eyes. You've cried so much today, and in front of him of all people. It's humiliating at this point. 
You stand, trying to escape the overwhelming weight of it all. "It's done. So I'll just... go," you mumble, stepping toward the door.
Before you can make it far, Sanzu's hand wraps around your wrist, his fingers cool against your skin. His grip is light, almost hesitant. You look down at where his fingers hold you, then back up at him. 
"What is it?"
You can feel your voice trembling, on the verge of breaking. You're so close to falling apart, and he's just... watching.
"Want this?" he asks suddenly, holding up a bottle filled with colorful pills. 
He gives it a small shake, and the pills rattle softly inside. The smirk that spreads across his face now is familiar, predatory. This is the Sanzu you know, the one you hate. 
"This shit's the real deal. Remember the other stuff I gave you earlier? That was just a trial run." He laughs, that low, mocking sound that makes your blood boil.
Your chest tightens as you stare at the pills, your mind flashing back to the euphoria from earlier. It had felt so good, so easy, like all the pain had vanished for a while. And yet... you narrow your eyes at him, anger replacing the temptation. How could he think you'd ever take anything from him again after what he did?
Sanzu sees the anger flash across your face, and the smirk fades. He lets go of your wrist and looks away, his expression hardening again. "Forget it. Just leave."
For a moment, you almost do. You almost walk out the door and leave him behind. But something makes you stop. The way his hand had felt around your wrist, the way his voice had softened when he realized what he was offering. You glance back at him, his body tense as he stares ahead, avoiding your gaze. And suddenly, you don't want to leave anymore.
"I want it," you say quietly, turning fully to face him. "Give it to me."
Sanzu's eyes flick back to you, surprise flashing briefly before his usual sneer returns. "Fuck no," he grunts. "You think I'm gonna give you this just to watch you walk out the door?"
There's a pause. His words hang in the air, and for a split second, his eyes widen slightly, like he's just surprised himself with the admission. He hadn't meant to say that, but now it's out there—he doesn't want you to leave. Not yet. 
He actually wants your company.
You can't help the bitter smile that tugs at your lips. "What, are you gonna choke me again?" you ask, your voice cutting through the silence like a blade.
His head snaps toward you, confusion etched into his features. "Huh? No. That's—" He stumbles over the words, almost defensive, like he hadn't considered how far he'd gone before.
Without waiting for him to finish, you plop down on the couch beside him, close enough to feel the heat radiating from his body. You extend your hand, palm up, eyes fixed on his. 
"Fine. Give me that, Sanzu."
For a moment, he doesn't move, his gaze searching your face. Then, slowly, a smirk tugs at his lips again—the same smug, infuriating expression you've come to expect from him.
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Manjiro Sano has warned you more than once: avoid Sanzu when he's high. The fact that you were Mikey's girlfriend has always been enough to keep Sanzu from crossing certain lines when he's sober, but when the drugs took over, his already fragile self-control shatters. 
The warning always carries weight, like a veiled threat that lingers at the back of your mind, but tonight... tonight, you don't care. You're too numb, too broken, and the reckless part of you craves the release Sanzu offers. The part of you that wants to forget Mikey. 
The pill between Sanzu's fingers gleams like forbidden fruit, a dual-colored capsule that promises escape. His grin is lazy, predatory, as if the thrill of watching you self-destruct is part of his form of entertainment. Without a word, you reach for the pill, swallowing it down without hesitation. The bitter taste lingers at the back of your throat, but the anticipation of oblivion drowns out any second thoughts.
Within minutes, the edges of reality begin to blur. The room shifts, the walls breathe, and the floor ripples like water beneath your feet. Colors bleed into each other, swirling in dizzying patterns that make you feel weightless. The cool marble floor presses against your cheek as you lie sprawled on the ground, your limbs heavy yet disconnected from your body.
Above you, like a ghostly shadow, Sanzu lounges on the couch, watching you with an intensity that both unnerves and thrills you. He takes a pill of his own before the next wave hits you—stronger this time, pulling you under completely.
For a fleeting moment, you let everything go—the pain, the heartbreak, the memories of Mikey's distant eyes as you walked away from him. All the weight of your unspoken love, of your shattered heart, evaporates in the fog of euphoria. It's terrifying how easy it is to forget, to lose yourself in the numbness. But somewhere, deep in the pit of your soul, the fear lingers. 
What will be left of you when the high wears off?
When you wake the next morning, reality presses you down like a vise. Your head pounds, each throb a reminder of the drug still pulsing through your system. The soft morning light filters through the unfamiliar room's windows. You blink, disoriented, trying to piece together what happened. 
Right... Sanzu. You were in his condo last night, and this—this must be his bedroom.
As you shift, the soft rustle of sheets draws your attention, and your heart leaps into your throat. Sanzu lies beside you, his face buried in the pillow, his hair a wild mess of pink strands. He's half-naked, the blanket draped loosely over his hips, and for a moment, panic seizes you. 
Your fingers instinctively brush over your clothes—still on, thank God. Relief washes over you, but it's fleeting. The haze of the previous night is still there, muddy and unclear, and you have no idea what happened between the two of you after you'd lost yourself to the high.
Whatever it was, it doesn't seem like you had sex with him. At least... you hope you didn't. Two people who are really high wouldn't bother to put their clothes back on after sex, right? 
You sit up carefully, the bed creaking softly beneath you, and that's when you notice them—his scars. Lines of jagged, raw skin crisscross his back like a violent roadmap of his past. Some scars are old, barely visible against his pale skin, while others are fresh, still healing from whatever recent chaos he's endured. 
You know that Sanzu lives in violence, that it clings to him like a second skin, but seeing the marks so intimately, so vulnerably laid bare before you—it stirs something inside you. A deep, unsettling pity, but you quickly shove it down, pushing it past the ache in your chest.
Your shift your gaze to the floor, where the bottle of pills lies tipped over, colorful capsules scattered across the marble floor. How many did you take last night? Too many, you're sure. You feel their lingering effects, the way they dull the edges of your thoughts, how they slow your movements. 
Shaking off the grogginess, you move toward the door, eyes landing on the katana propped up against the wall. A glint of steel in the early light. 
You pause, your hand gripping the door handle. The memory of what Sanzu did before flashes through your mind—the way he choked you, forcing the first pill down your throat. Mikey has punished him for it, but still, you felt guilty enough to treat his wounds. Then, stupidly, you let yourself get high with him again. Willingly.
But the anger still simmers under the surface. All those cruel words over the years, the taunts, the smirks, the way he looks down on you. He's infuriating. And this... this is your chance to get back at him.
Without thinking, you walk over to the katana. The hilt feels cool and foreign in your hand as you lift it, the weight of it surprising you. But you don't hesitate.
As you drag the katana behind you, the metal scraping loudly against the floor, the sound reverberates in the silent hallway. Each step feels like defiance, like a rebellion against everything Sanzu represents—the control, the twisted power he holds over you.
In the basement, you find the garbage bin. Without a second thought, you dump the katana in, the clang of steel against metal echoing in the empty space. It isn't enough to truly hurt him, but it's enough to piss him off, enough to make him notice.
And that's what you want, isn't it? To get under his skin the way he always gets under yours? To make him feel something—anything—that isn't amusement at your suffering?
As you walk away, a small, bitter smile tugs at your lips. You know this won't end well. You're playing with fire, and Sanzu is dangerous when pushed. But the part of you that's still reeling from Mikey, still wounded and desperate, craves this chaos. You want to see what will happen when Sanzu finds the katana, want to watch the fury flash across his face. Because for once, you aren't the one falling apart.
Maybe it's madness, or maybe it's something deeper—a need to reclaim some form of control in a world that's stripped you of it. Either way, you aren't running anymore.
You'll face whatever comes next, even if it destroys you.
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Manjiro Sano haunts you everywhere. He's with you in the empty bed, a ghost beside you as you stare at the ceiling, counting the cracks in the dark. When you’re in the kitchen, his voice echoes in your mind, teasing, laughing, pulling you into memories that make your chest tighten with an ache that hasn't dulled. In the mirror, you see him staring back, his familiar, cold gaze mocking you as you brush your teeth, as if daring you to forget the life you shared with him.
It's been weeks since the breakup, but the weight of nine years doesn't just vanish. You were naive to think it would be easy to let go. After all, you didn't just lose Mikey—you lost the future you had envisioned, the dream of always being by his side, no matter what. 
You'd never loved anyone else, never felt the safety of another person's arms. You never had a reason to think you'd need to. And when you first learned about the arranged marriage three years ago, you foolishly believed that nothing could ever come between you and Mikey, that love would always win. However, reality had other plans.
Eventually, it all became too much. So, you made a decision. You packed your things and left the apartment you had once shared with him, that place filled with memories—of laughter, of love, of a time when he was truly yours. But now, those memories felt like weights pulling you under, drowning you in a past that you could no longer live in. 
So, you found a new place, a smaller apartment far away from that suffocating ghost. You didn't tell anyone from Bonten. Not a soul knew where you were now. It was supposed to be your clean break.
But fate never lets you escape that easily.
Weeks after you've settled into your new life, you find yourself out for a casual walk, basking in the simplicity of a quiet day. An ice cream cone in one hand, a plastic bag of snacks in the other—small, ordinary comforts in an otherwise chaotic life. You're beginning to breathe again, to feel the freedom of being on your own. And then you see him.
Mikey.
He's sitting outside a café, his silver hair catching the sunlight, his posture as calm and unreadable as ever. But next to him is her. His wife. The sight of them together makes your stomach lurch, your heart clenching as if gripped by an iron fist. She's laughing, and though Mikey's face is still as cold and impassive as always, there's something different about him. Softer. He looks at her in a way that sends a sharp pang through your chest. 
He's moving on.
Your breath catches, and for a moment, the world feels like it's tilting on its axis. You need to get out of here. Now.
Before you can make your escape, though, you spot them. Ran's lazy, amused expression is the first thing you notice, his sharp eyes locking onto you with that all-too-familiar smirk. 
"Well, well. Look who it is," he drawls, his voice dripping with mockery. But it's the presence next to him that makes your blood run cold.
Sanzu.
The moment his gaze lands on you, the air around you thickens. His eyes narrow, his lips curl into a sneer, and you know. He knows. You can almost feel the anger rolling off of him, simmering beneath the surface. You've crossed a line with him, and now, you'll pay for it.
Your heart hammers in your chest, panic seizing your throat. The plastic bag slips from your hand, the ice cream falling, forgotten, as it splatters against the pavement. You don't even care. All that matters now is getting away.
You turn and run.
"Oi!" Sanzu's voice slices through the air, sharp and dangerous. "Stop running!"
Like hell you will. 
You know what he's capable of, and you know there's nothing holding him back now—not Mikey, not anyone. Not after what you did. The memory flashes in your mind—the clattering of metal, the weight of his katana in your hands as you threw it into the trash. The reckless satisfaction of it all.
You can hear his footsteps behind you, the sound growing louder with each passing second. He's faster than you remember, and your chest tightens in fear. Sanzu is dangerous even when he's calm, but this? 
This is personal.
The crowded street is a blur as you dash through it, weaving past confused onlookers, your heart pounding so hard it feels like it might burst. Dignity is the last thing on your mind right now—you're running for survival. And yet, amidst the chaos, a ridiculous thought crosses your mind: If I die today, I'll die looking like shit. No makeup, no cute clothes, just sweat and terror.
You can feel him gaining on you, the heat of his rage practically burning at your back, and desperation grips you. You need to think fast, or you won't make it. That's when you spot the riverbank up ahead, the water glistening in the distance. 
Without a second thought, you sprint toward it, your feet barely touching the ground as you throw yourself into the icy water. The shock of the cold steals your breath, but you don't stop moving. You swim, forcing your body through the water, the chill biting into your skin. 
When you finally break the surface, you gasp, a fleeting moment of triumph swelling in your chest. You've escaped.
Or so you think.
Your heart sinks when you see him standing on the riverbank, his figure dark and ominous against the bright sky. Sanzu is already peeling off his blazer, his eyes fixed on you with a predator's focus. There's no hesitation as he tosses it aside and kicks off his shoes. Of course, he's going to follow you. Of course, he's not letting this go.
You should have known better.
Sanzu dives into the water without a second thought, cutting through the current with frightening speed. And that's when it hits you—he isn't just chasing you out of anger. He's chasing you because you've crossed a line you can never uncross. Because Sanzu doesn't follow any rules, doesn't have any boundaries. 
And neither of you are sane enough to stop now.
< part two ends >
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author's notes. heyy beloved sanzu kinnies <3 i'm so so happy & grateful for all the love you showed to part one of BNT that i decided to bless you guys with twice as long part two hehe :D i hope you guys enjoyed reading it as much as i enjoyed writing it! sanzu and mikey are both my guilty pleasures & i adore them so much in the manga (sanzu apologist here, sorry not sorry) so BNT actually means a lot to me personally :) i've got some fun stuff planned for sanzu and y/n in the next part... so please stay tuned! again, i'd love to hear your thoughts so do leave some notes & comments!! tysm for reading guys! stay awesome ☆(>ᴗ•)
taglist. @iluv-ace @reiners-milkbiddies @bontenbabyy @risheliette @loveantonnlee @sukunas-bitxh @honeygonebads-blog @r3yk @soilaluna @l1ttl3m1ss666 @novv @slvdsjjk @miffysoo @qyoongi @drakensdarling @ask-the-insect-hashira @awkwardaardvarkforever @thebiggestlovergirlever @shinichirolover @kyyuuuuu @meowww1041 @kiasnotforever (comment below if you’d like to be added to the taglist!)
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© CANDYEAGER. do not copy, repost, modify, or translate my works in any other platforms.
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sukunas-bitxh · 8 months ago
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Damn it this had me balling at the end 😭😭😭 this man deserves the bloody world 😭😭😭
『 Dad!Suguru 』
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☼ synopsis: shortly after the events with the star plasma vessel Geto finds out you're pregnant. Will this change his life to the better?
☼ character: Suguru Geto
☼ wc: 0.6k
☼ cw: mentions of pregnancy
☼ a/n: I dare you to reblog / comment 🤨
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✧ Dad!Suguru who asks you to repeat yourself when you break the news, dropping the cup of tea he was currently carrying over to you. He just couldn't stop shaking after, frozen to the spot as the carpet at his feet slowly soaked up the hot tea.
✧ Dad!Suguru who will hold you tight - but not too tight once his brain processed your words, eyes tearing up out of happiness. He just can't believe that you two created something this beautiful - that you're carrying his child now.
✧ Dad!Suguru who refuses to leave your side, additionally having curses around you all the time, not wanting to risk any harm coming your way. Losing Riko right before his eyes left a scar and he's terrified that he can't protect you properly as well.
✧ Dad!Suguru who can barely sleep, preferring to watch over you all day to the point where exhaustion shows physical effects. You get his best friend Satoru to watch over you for a few nights a week so Suguru can at least sleep a little bit. Satoru Gojo is the only one he trusts to watch over you
✧ Dad!Suguru who can't believe how lucky he got when he found out you're expecting a little girl. Thinking of all the beautiful names because his daughter will for sure grow up to be a beautiful and strong woman and deserves to be respected by her name alone.
✧ Dad!Suguru who talks to the little bump when he thinks you're asleep, promising his little girl the entire world and more. Always having a hand on your belly and smiling wide when he feels his precious girl kick or punch against the warmth of his hand.
✧ Dad!Suguru who not only gives forehead kisses but also belly kisses now, spoiling you rotten to a point where you won't have to lift a single finger - promising to treat his daughter just as gentle.
✧ Dad!Suguru who lets his daughter sleep on his chest all the time, thinking it's adorable how she always holds onto his long hair with her tiny hands.
✧ Dad!Suguru who was a little bit concerned to let his curses out around her, not wanting to scare her but the way her tiny little hands reached out for the rainbow dragon with the sweetest giggles made his heart melt, knowing she's coming after him. He lets some of his curses out so she can play with them or cuddle them while they watch over her in her tiny crib.
✧ Dad!Suguru who's constantly scolding Godfather Satoru for making his girl cry by teasing her or for being reckless with or around her. Gojo spends a lot of his days apologizing to you and making sure his little sunshine is smiling again, oftentimes ending up asleep on the couch, the little girl holding onto him tightly.
✧ Dad!Suguru who looks at you and your daughter like you put the stars in the sky just for him. There's not a single day where he doesn't stop what he's doing just to look at the both of you in awe, wondering how he ever got so lucky.
✧ Dad!Suguru who one day disappears without a trace, feeling like a failure for leaving his family behind but the path he chose to follow is one he has to walk alone, knowing Satoru will take good care of you two.
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Networks: @pixelcafe-network @interstellar-inn @houseofsolisoccasum
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sukunas-bitxh · 8 months ago
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༉‧₊˚. "Shut up, mom!" prank with JJK men PART 2
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➜ featuring: higuruma hiromi, ryomen sukuna and fushiguro toji
➜synopsis: your child(ren) has a death wish for sure.
➜note: sorry for the long wait! it's here at last :)
༉‧₊˚. reblog + comment!
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༉‧₊˚. HIGURUMA HIROMI
Your husband was a busy man. You and your daughter could count the days he spent at home with the two of you–lazily snuggling his two favorite girls on the couch as you rewatch your favorite family movie (he claims that Encanto isn’t his favorite but he has memorized all the songs). So what better way to spice up the day than by pranking your favorite man?
“Sweetie, what did I say about tissues on the kitchen counter?”
“Huh?” your daughter’s annoyed tone makes Higuruma look up from his phone with a quirked eyebrow. “Oh yeah, whatever I just forgot.”
“I said it many times before. I don’t like tissues on the kitchen counter.”
“Oh would you just drop it?” your daughter sighs, annoyed. She gets up from the dining table and makes her way around the couch, walking past her dad. “You’re always making a big deal out of shit like that.”
“Huh-”
“Hey? Don’t use that kind of language with me–”
“Just shut up already!” 
In the blink of an eye, Higuruma’s phone dropped from his hand and he stood up from the couch, nostrils flared and body seething with anger.
“What did you just say?” 
“Dad-”
“Did you just tell your mother to shut up?” You feel bad for making your daughter witness this side of her dad, but she’s quick to give her nervous giggle with her hands up to her chest. 
“Dad, it’s a prank! I promise!” 
“Honey, it’s a prank.” It’s comedic the way his eyes go from almost bulging out of his skull, to deflating like a balloon. He heaves out a sigh he doesn’t know he was holding and drops his head.
“What part of this prank seemed funny to either of you?”
“Mom said she liked it when you were protective of her–”
“Why are you exposing your mother like that!” 
“You made me the target of his anger!” 
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༉‧₊˚. RYOMEN SUKUNA
“Where are the brats?” Sukuna’s voice is flat as he walks into the kitchen. Dinner was served, and yet his twin boys were nowhere to be seen. “Still upstairs?” 
“Yeah, I called for them earlier but they don’t want to get off that damn console.” You sigh in defeat, leaning against the kitchen counter. “I’ll try again, wait.” 
Sukuna lets you handle this by yourself and takes a seat by the dining table. He watches intently as you make your way upstairs and then a minute later, a fight ensues. Loud voices and the sound of doors slamming can be heard, which makes your husband’s eye twitch. 
“I told you to take out the trash and you said no! I tell you dinner is ready and you say leave me alone?” you continue to complain as you walk down the stairs, your tall teenage boys right behind you, sporting the same scowl as their dad’s. 
“Why are you being overdramatic? I told you I’ll do it later!”
“I want you to do it now, the kitchen reeks!”
“That’s a you problem, woman.”
“What did you just say to me?”
“Would you just let it go? Just shut u–!”
Your twin boy doesn’t get to finish his sentence before your husband is pushing his chair back, aura as dangerous as ever. You’ve seen Sukuna angry before, you’ve seen him in all of his states but this one was by far the scariest.
“Brat.” 
Sukuna doesn’t let his son finish his sentence before he takes off his wedding ring and places it on the dining table. “Let’s go outside. You and I.”
“Wha–”
“You eat dinner without us and you–” he points at the troublesome one of the pair. “Will get to eat if you beat me.”
“But dad–”
“I’m not asking you, I’m telling you.”
“Babe,” you step between your fuming husband and his son, hands caressing his chest. “Calm down, it’s fine–”
“Get out of the way, woman.” he says with a snarl, but you can feel his body relax under your touch.
“But it was just a prank.”
“A prank?” Now you’re scared for your life. “Who told you that shit is funny? You like being disrespected?” 
“No, but I like seeing you angry,”
“Oh I’ll show you what I can do when I’m angry.”
“We are quite literally right here.”
“Then leave.”
“Babe!” 
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༉‧₊˚. FUSHIGURO TOJI
“Megumi, do you want some?” You’re in the car on your way back from a party that one of your friends has thrown for her toddler when you turn to your own kid with some cake. “It’s your favorite.” 
“No.” 
“No?” Toji notices your frown and his son’s unusual attitude towards you but says nothing, eyes fixated on the road. “Well okay,” 
You heave out a sigh, biting back a smile as you look out the window. Toji locks eyes with his own through the rearview mirror and the child looks away almost immediately. What’s up with his attitude today?
The moment you walk into the house, you’re taking off Megumi’s shoes who’s still doing a pretty good job at pretending to be having an attitude and he makes his way to the kitchen where he grabs the box of cookies which he knows he’s not allowed near. 
“Gumi, no.”
“I want one.”
“After dinner, okay?” the six year old boy huffs and puffs and when you take the box away from him, he pretends to throw a fit as he starts to make his way upstairs.
“Go to the bathroom, I gotta give you a bath before eating.”
“Shut up!” You don’t know where Toji was, you don’t feel him behind you until you see him storm towards the stairs. All you hear is loud thuds on the wooden floor and your heart is in your throat.
“Fucking brat,” he mumbles under his breath. “What the fuck did you just tell your mom?” 
“Toji–”
“She wanted to prank you.” Megumi confesses almost immediately, pointing an accusatory finger at you. “She told me that you look ‘hot’ when you’re mad so she wanted to test something.” 
You stand there, dumbfounded and flustered at how fast your kid exposed you. Suddenly, you feel small as you feel Toji turn around and stare down at you with his dark eyes. 
“Is that so?” 
“Mhm. She also said that she will call uncle Satoru to come take me after–”
“Megumi!” 
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sukunas-bitxh · 8 months ago
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tomura shigaraki’s magnificence 👑
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sukunas-bitxh · 8 months ago
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Sadly it's just my king
Reblog if your profile pic is actually YOU .
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