summerposts

[summerposts]

𝖘𝖙𝖆𝖗𝖐𝖎𝖉'𝖘 𝖈𝖎𝖓𝖉𝖊𝖗𝖊𝖑𝖑𝖆'𝖘 𝖈𝖆𝖘𝖙𝖑𝖊 𝖕𝖙. 2

mature themes & wording . change wording & pronouns as necessary .

I’m ready to be swept off my feet!

You will not say anything. You will stand there and look as fuckable as you can muster.

You want them to lust for you.

Take their tiny, plump cocks betwixt thy fingers, and they will become your willing slaves.

For only one may leave the mating hole alive. That is the troll way.

Okay. Flirt… fuck… then rip his head off?

Halt! You shall not pass! *winks*

Windless, I blow. Oathless, I take the knee. Handless, I milk the snake. What am I?

Take me to your bedchamber and you’ll find out!

Forget the melons! I’ve got tits!

Can I not marry them both?

Not if you want to wage another war against the church, sire.

I never dreamed I would meet one of Heaven’s stars.

You know I will not ever sleep at night if you leave the light on.

A moth to flame, I’m drawing to this ember.

My want for you is now my pain.

Burn me with your fire.

Let me be your martyr.

Mom, she’s stealing my boyfriend!

It seems I’m wrong no matter what I say.

And that is where you are wrong, my boy!

Oh… I had too much cheese….

You know, I’ve always viewed marriage as a prison.

Marriage with her would not be a prison. The rest of world would be a prison from her cunny!

Oh, wow. That’s the most romantic thing I’ve ever said!

Take a note. Something about a prison! And a … a cunny!

Perhaps you could do with a visit to the vomitorium?

I shall purge my belly of this wine and fill it with the sweet nectar of my lady’s flower.

It’s a wonder he’s been rejected by all of the reputable houses.

I’m just trying to make conversation.

Yes, well, since we are giving advice: speak more gently to someone who could have you broken on the wheel.

I’m not accustomed to having my cleverness matched, or noticed.

Oh, I didn’t notice any cleverness on your part.

Is this the first time you’ve ever told a girl she is pretty? Because you’re making a dreadful mess of it.

What I cannot fathom is how a woman of your wit would find anything remotely alluring about him.

Oh, well, he’s gorgeous… he has a castle.

I of’t forget the castle.

He is the most repulsive man being I have ever met.

He is like his father; spoiled, weak and witless.

Those who would defile the throne, must burn away in the fires of justice.

Has living with pain eroded the last of my fears?

Will it ever after happily?

If it feels like a burden, I know I’m on the right track.

Am I cursed or crazy now?

Looks like someone made some fans tonight. And some enemies, I’m sad to say.

It’s a fuckin’ frog.

You’re doing great, sir! You’re beating them all off!

That’s no frog! That’s a bloody demon!

It would shame me to ask. But … if you commanded it, then I suppose you could carry me.

It’s my pink belly. You… you can rub it if you want. I trust you.

Clever whore!

I do enjoy the chase, but the hour grows late and my sack grows heavy!

Oh, yes! That’s the sweet stink of my lady’s toes!

I’ve always been a foot man. You know that. Everyone knows that.

When I picture her in my mind, I see naught only fire and starlight.

I’ll ready the wanking couch.

It took you all night to dispose of those two dead tramps?

One battle is not a war. You best remember that.

How dare you bring light into my hall!

Are you done, imbecile?

I want you to watch what happens. I want you to watch what I’m doing.

The searing pain within you won’t go away until you watch!

This is where you and your kind belong. Underfoot.

Pain will come before pleasure, and the pleasure will be mine.

Your screams are a fait accompli.

Uh…. EXCUSE ME? Fuck you!

No, no, no, no. Don’t talk to me. I’m in the audience now.

Finish your sad, bullshit story.

Your labor pained me, and I swore to that day that I’d pay you back. So. The time has come.

A breast and a breast upon the chest. Unclasp the button of thy vest. Let me see them tumble free. Let me squeeze them. Lucky me.

If one of you came wearing our hide, we’d sniff you out in an instant. But the manfolk have always been blinded by the soft and supple flesh.

This isn’t a throne room, but a slaughter house!

Let the halls run red with rivers of man-blood, as I flay each and every one of you!

You’ve mistaken the twilight for the dawn, vile thing.

Magic is cruel and exacting. And this magic is my ally.

I don’t want to live your dream anymore!

I like riddles! And I like eating goats! I’m going back to the bridge!

Trolls are afoot and my blade be thirsty!

You can’t win, bitch!

You’ve forgotten your station, beast!

You crept from the shadows, an imposter in the land of light. Well, let me remind you who is master here!

Well, let me remind you who is the master here!

Let me reacquaint you with your fear!

Behold my starlight now.

I know you’re hurting. I’m hurting too.

You can’t see my fury. But I’m furious for you.

My gifts seem small but I give it all.

I was a fool to doubt your worth then.

Perhaps… he smothered himself with that pillow. Who knows? I wasn’t there.

My love will be fierce and your love will be missed.

Evil was vanquished! Vengeance was won!

[summerposts]

𝖘𝖙𝖆𝖗𝖐𝖎𝖉'𝖘 𝖈𝖎𝖓𝖉𝖊𝖗𝖊𝖑𝖑𝖆'𝖘 𝖈𝖆𝖘𝖙𝖑𝖊 𝖕𝖙. 1

mature themes & wording . change wording & pronouns as necessary .

There’s a castle on a hill, as the story goes.

There’s secrets in the stone.

My first wife was a gnome. It was a short marriage.

I’ll hit my block when I’m good and ready!

We of the mountain kin like to do things in our own ............ time.

There is no family tree that does not wither; that does not burn.

I spend my day knee deep in pig guts, but fuck all, do you stink!

Your order’s ready, Stinky.

Leave the shop. I want to be in it.

You’ve taken such care handling my meat. Seems only fair I handle yours.

It won’t take long, will it, you filthy pig?

OINK OINK OINK OINK OINK OINK!

Don’t bandy words with the cursling!

She’s wearing someone else’s skin!

Why can’t anyone else see it?!

Whether you want it or not, you are cursed crazy.

When fighting your demons alone, you know you’re fucked or fated.

Whether it’s madness or not, you had a bad beat, baby.

You know you’re stuck with the stigma, whether you want it not.

Bedlam is all that you’ve got when you’ve been backstabbed lately.

I’ve traveled the world and tasted wine and cheese and grapes and honey. But nothing compares to the juice and the hairs of royal cunny~

If you say so, my Prince.

Well, FUCK THEM, then!

To hell with her and her frostbitten cunny!

All of the great houses have rejected your proposals, despite my prince’s many…… charms.

Fuck this cursed life!

I’m not a creature of soot and sweat, I’m clean!

I’m… doomed.

I’ve seen a cock! No more trials today, gods, I beg you!

There are many regrettable things in life but a maiden stealing a glance at your member is not amongst them.

I will test my luck further and risk a kiss on your lovely hand.

I cannot remember last when I was spoken to so gently.

I don’t care if the house needs new shutters or tapestries! I want to know if the carpet matches the drapes!

Now if you don’t mind, I want to get her out of these soaking clothes and…. Well, we’ll see what happens after that.

Fear not. If it’s anything venereal, I’ve had and beaten it.

Egads! This is one thirsty fucking house!

You’ve spoken enough for one outing.

What robs the fear from your eyes and replaces it with defiance?

You linger only because it pleases me to watch your bloodline suffer and serve.

I’ve swatted many gnats, should I try my hand at a dragon?

One thing is not the other, my little friend.

I’ve never made frog paste before but it says here that it’s simple and serves four.

Step one: smash frog with big fucking rock.

You want to be stuck in this house forever? With them?

I was raised to be appraised.

I know I am no lawyer, so I’m leaning on natural law.

I know you’re wishing I’d be sweet and behave, but I’d rather step on your grave.

If I wanted to sharpen my cleaver on this day… I’ve got names.

I don’t know how it’ll come to be, but I’ll see you under my feet.

Sire many tadpoles!

What did the maiden say when she finally reached the ball? *insert gagging sounds here*

Very amusing, sire. Ha. Ha…. Ha.

Do not read my diary, you whore!

There will be no riddling in this house. It is beneath us.

I oughta pop your head like a zit!

She knows we don’t have friends and she’s rubbing it in!

Okay, so I lose all my cobwebs and she gets to dress as slutty as she wants? I hate this family!

If I close my eyes, I can see the best in front of me.

Side-step the tedious formalities and kiss me!

Gods be damned. They gave you the figure I prayed for.

Fucking servants. They’ll sell your secrets for a copper every time.

Cover your ankles! There could be boys nearby!

If I close my eyes, I can see the past in front of me.

This is as good as it gets. The stars are all in a line.

He was quite handsome. But he was also quite stupid.

It all started in these woods… Under this tree.

She’s beguiled the world with dark magic.

Stand up. I want a clear shot at that tummy. I don’t want to damage that hide more than I have to.

I’ve gifted you this happy day, and now it’s time to turn out the light!

Look at me! I look fuckin’ sexy!

You gotta swing your hips like this. Humans like a nice, swingin’ ass!

Mama’s hungry for man-jam!

My facade won’t let me down.

No one notices that my soul is inside out.

This flesh has got you fucked.

My truth is skin deep and oblique.

No one notices that my soul is disavowed.

I’ll play the part until I break your heart.

Open your eyes, daughter of fire.

Let it burn away the last of your tears.

I am fae. I am God. I am Mother.

Gods are not good or evil. They simply are. And they are beyond your judgement.

Please, no more! I have suffered so much!

I want only for the world to be a good and kind place.

Your pretty words are chains. Cast them aside and tell me what is thy desire?

I have nothing save this sword and this heart.

Under my tutelage, he will one day fight with the skill of a frog!

A story so old, it’s nothing but bones.

Only fire is just.

Eternity laughs and laughs at its destruction.

A god will see that your enemies run.

For your final gift: I grant you eternal starlight.

The gods still know whose blood should run.

You shall be as radiant and as terrible as I.